Laladidi. I'm on a roooooooooollllllllllll. Yippee!

Chapter 15- I think the Tree won the Fight

Monday 4th July

8.10am

Met Jas at the top of the hill.

"Blimey, Gee, you look happy,"

"I am!"

"Why?"

"Because badgers aren't going to become extinct!"

"Really?"

"No! Guess who's given up Red Bottomosity?"

"I don't know…"

"Guess!"

"You dumped Dave finally?"

"No! Much better!"

"What?"

"I'm going out with him!"

Jas just looked at me.

10 minutes later

Still it's official now I've told Radio Jas.

1 minute later

"Don't you want to know how it happened?"

"No,"

"Aren't you the most incy tincy bit curious?"

"What about Ellen?"

Merde.

Physics

Herr Kamyer is babbling on about something. I don't know what. I don't think anyone does. Still that's his fault for being German.

It was quite groovy being out with Dave last night. Vair vair groovy but a bit weird. It feels a bit unnatural us being out in the open about everything (Oo-er).

Almost Jas and Tom before Tom became the luuurrve rat.

Blech.

3 minutes later

That reminds me. I need to tell Jas about Tom. But she is now ignorez vousing me. Which means I've got to tell Ellen. Poo.

Break

Jools and Rollo have got to number 9! Properly, not her showing him her pants. What was it Dave said? Time waits for no PANTS. Poo, I have a lot of catching up to do.

Then Mabs said, "So, what are you going to do now, Gee, you dumped Masimo,"

Jas looked at me.

Oh God, I had to tell Ellen now.

Ohhmmmmmm.

"Weeeelll…I have news for all of you…"

They were all looking at me like looking things.

"And…err…especially for you Ellen…"

Jools said, "Hurry up,"

"Ellen…don't kill me…I'm going out with Dave the Laugh!"

And I ran off.

2 minutes later

Hiding from Ellen and being from murdered in the piddly diddly department.

5 minutes later

Someone came into the Tarts Wardrobe. I hope it isn't the Hitler youth.

"Gee?"

It was Jas.

"No,"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Why aren't you with Ellen?"

"Just come out,"

I unlocked the door and Jas hugged me!

"Gerrof me you lezzy!"

"Gee, well done,"

"Huh?"

"You finally told Ellen!"

"Well…err…Jas…I have something to tell you to,"

"What?"

"Don't hate me…"

"What?"

"Hunky is cheating on you,"

And do you know what Jas did? Started laughing like a loon!

"Yes, whatever, Gee, nice try,"

1 minute later

At least, Ellen isn't very upset…she doesn't like him anymore because he told her EXACTLY what he thought of her at the party when he was drunk. And it wasn't very nice.

So he is all miney.

5.00pm

Jas didn't believe me about Tom the Cheat fiasco. Poo, what am I supposed to do?

5.12pm

Argh, how can I possibly concentrate on my homework (imaginary snogging) if Libby keeps bursting in?

"Now, Ginger watch my bottie dance, sex bum sex bum, poo poo, bum bum,"

Good Grief.

6.00pm

Phone rung. It was Dave.

"Hey, Sex Kitty"

"Hi,"

"Do you want to come over because it's so boring being suspended?"

"Is your Mutti there?"

"Why?"

"Because she scares me,"

"No…she's out, Dad's home but he will let me get away with murder,"

6.30pm

On my way to Dave's. Brrr, it's very nippy noodles even though it's July. But that's bloody English weather for you. I can here some loon jogging behind me.

1 minute later

"Ciao, Georgia," Oh my GiddyGod, It was Masimo! Phoar he was absolutely gorgey. Down red bottom, down!

"I think, I need to, how you say, grovel, I'm sorry for-"

I ran for it. What else could I do?

He jogged after me.

2 minutes later

Run, run, run. I ran all the way to Dave the Laugh's. I think I managed to lose Masimo. How weird was that? It was Masimo who I had to put down not Dave. Not meaning I've got red bottomosity because Dave is my one and only and Masimo is a jellyfish snogger.

Dave answered the door, "Hey, Sexy- Kittykat? Have you been running? Has someone been chasing you? Because I'll beat them up for you if they have,"

Oh, he has so much concernosity.

I forced a laugh, "No, I was just…I couldn't wait to see you,"

"Flattery gets you nowhere, Sex Kitty…but snogs are a different story,"

Cheeky Cat.

30 seconds later

We walked through the living room to get some drinks and eats. Dave's dad was asleep on the sofa, with an empty can in his hand and more on the floor.

I said, "I see where your drinking problem comes from, now,"

He said, "I don't have a drinking problem, Kittykat,"

"And you were fighting a tree because…?"

"That was once, and I had the worst hangover ever in the morning and I can't remember a thing about when I was drunk and… I don't like not having control of a situation,"

Oo-er.

Then he gave me yet ANOTHER wierd look.

Then he said, "And also…"

"What?"

"I think the tree won the fight,"

5 minutes later

Dave's room is a clutter of game disks.

"Do you want to play on of the games with me, Kittykat? Because I've thrashed myself on there about twenty billion times. Told you I was bored,"

"Dave, do you really think Xbox games are a good idea to wow a girl with?"

6 minutes later

"Gee, it's my go now,"

"Hang on,"

"Gee…"

"Woo! Take that, I beat your high score!"

I think I see why boys are obsessed with game consoles now.

2 minutes later

In the end Dave pulled the plug out. I think I hurt his masculiniosity beating him on his own games. But alls fair in love's war.

We were drinking our drinks and then Dave did this fabby thing.

He snogged me with an ice cube in his mouth! And then he pushed it with his tongue into my mouth. Which sounds disgusting but it was actually it was vair vair groovy. But I draw the line at Rosie and Sven style snogging with food in the mouth. Because that is as gross as two gross things in a grocery shop. We passed the ice cube to each other until it melted. It was beyond marvy in the land of the beyond-marviosity.

I must add ice cube snogging to the snogging scale.

The snogging scale everyone's beating me on.

Merde.

5 minutes later

"What's up Sex Kitty, missing the game or something?"

He smirked; I didn't know whether he was talking about the Xbox game or the ice cube thing.

"Everyone is beating me on the snogging scale,"

Poo, did I just say that?

"The snogging scale?!"

3 minutes later

I had to explain the snogging scale to Dave.

He just shook his head and said, "Amazing,"

"Rosie and Jas have both got up to number 10 with their boyfriends,"

"Number 10?"

I turned into Ellen, "Err, you know, the full Monty, err, IT,"

And Dave said, as cool as a cucumber, "You mean shagging,"

"Well, yes and Jools has got to number 9,"

"9?"

"Lower body fondling,"

"Oo-er," Dave shook his head again, "So what number have we got to, Kittykat?"

"Err, well we've definitely got through all the sixes and I think now we're on seven- why am I telling you all this anyway?!"

"Because you can't resist telling me,"

"Huh,"

"I would love to be a girl just to find out about this sort of thing,"

Uh Oh, more transsexual talks.

Then he shrugged, "Still it explains a lot,"

"Huh?"

"Ellen came up to me the other day and asked me what number 11 and 12 were,"

Merde.

1 minute later

All this snogging scale talk has made me think about Jas. I really need to show her the truth about Hunky the Rat.

Dave said "How's the Jas thing going?"

Did he just read my mind? Freaky Deaky.

"She doesn't believe me,"

"Well…Tom is my mate but I think I know how to catch him out,"

"How?"

He grinned, "What's in it for me?"

"A lot of snogging,"

"That's my girl!" and he patted me on the head. Like a dog or a grandchild.

Vair vair mad.

Then he said, "How about a quick sample now?"

He has a one track mind.

9.00pm

Any way, the nub and gist of Dave's plan is that we are going to stalk Tom and photograph him if we see him snogging the mysterious girl again. Operation: Anti Luuurrve Rat is on.

Wow! Five word document pages filled with Dave and Gee mush and Tom and Jas worries. Wow! I've wrote three chapters today. It's very hard to make Dave sound…well Davish when he's being all nice and they're happy. But when I've finished this fanfiction (only six chapters left to write, boo hoo) I might write a heart wrencher for all the aggers lovers. Tatty bye!