I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Are you all shaking in fear yet?

Ha, but I would serious like to thank The Elven-Spear, keruki, Arbitrary Doom, Yami Ryo, and DarkRavie for reviewing! I love you!

START

A notorious grin was beaming up at the Hokage as the blond boy handed over his ninja qualification card. Completely unrepentant about the last chapter (knocking out the strongest man in the village with a single PERVERTED jutsu) he yawned then slumped in the chair, the smile still lingering on his face.

Saratoubi stared in slight shock at the photo on the card before dismissingly tossing it over his shoulder and gave the teenager a terse order, "Redo it."

"Whaaaaaaat?! Why?!" a 'shocked' Naruto exclaimed loudly, "Do you even know how F--KING long it took me to get that picture done!"

In the back of his mind, Kyuubi chuckled, Yep, all of a half a minute to put a genjutsu on it!

Bluntly ignoring the demon, Naruto continued on his rant, "First I had to FIND the F--KING henna then paint it on, wait for it to dry and then I had to WASTE TEN WHOLE F--CKING MINUTES because the STUPID photographer decided it wasn't how I was supposed to look!"

Nya, Kami yawned, waking up from his naps (GODS DESEVERE NAPS TOO!), You are too loud.

Before Naruto could either retort or add to the rant, the door to the room bursts open. In runs in a young boy, about seven, yelling something like, "Today is going to be the day I defeat you and take the title of Hokage Gra-!" His small speech that promised to be a lot longer was interrupted when he tripped and fell flat on his face.

"Honorable Grandson!" a man dressed in black and wearing dark sunglasses yelled. A slight flush in his cheeks was the only indicator he was forced to chase the boy, "Are you alright?!"

"YOU!" the grandson jumped up and yelled at Naruto, "You were the one that tripped me!"

Excuse me?!

Kyuubi groaned, Oh kuso, there's another one…

However Kami had a different point of view, Pfft…HAHAHAHAHA! HE'S EXACTLY LIKE YOUR MASK! THAT'S SOOO CUTE!

In actual reality, Naruto leaped out of the chair and brandished his finger in an indignant fashion, "Don't you even DARE to bring me into this! You tripped over your own feet you DAMNED KLUTZ!"

The Hokage sighed and tried to discreetly shield the scene: 'the wanna-be Man-in-Black yelling at Naruto about "properly respecting the honorable grandson," with Naruto yelling "few" choice NC-17 curses, and the grandson trying to get a word in' with a hand to his forehead.

Naruto finally yelled, "I don't give a flying f--k who either of you are dammit! Now leave me alone!" He all but ran from the room, trying hard to hide his laughter.

I can't believe you, mortal, moaned Kyuubi, First the bear, then the cat, now the kid! Are you going to run from EVERYTHING?

Hey! Bart was throwing rocks at my HEAD, Ashfur was trying to get me to grow catnip, and that kid would…well I have no idea what he would do but what I do know is that it would've been very BAD!

Kami made an unholy smirk, Which is why you let him follow you of course.

…I knew he was?

Nice try kit.

Instead of attempting to brave a losing battle, Naruto whirled around and yelled, "Who do you think your kidding, kid?! That disguise is shit lousy!"

The child lowered the blanket that was vaguely the same color of the fence they were in front of, "I KNEW you would be able to see through it! I was just testing you Boss!"

"Yeah ri-- boss?"

"Yeah!" the boy grinned, knowing the older boy swallowed the bait, "You are going to teach me how to defeat Grandpa!"

Naruto nearly let out a growl at the sassy command but barely caught himself. He didn't want to scare the kid...well not too much anyway, "Look, kid! I don't even know who you are!"

The brunette kid scowled, obviously not used to be unrecognized by the civilians, "I'm Saratoubi Konohamaru! And I'm going to be the next Hokage!"

Before he could collect himself, Naruto felt his eyebrows lift up to hide behind his bangs in shock then yelled, "I'm going to be the next Hokage dammit! Hold on, you're named after the village? Jeez, no wonder you're f--cked up...I would be to if my name if I was named after this shit-hold."

Konohamaru gave Naruto a very snobbish look, "Just to let you know, Konohamaru is a very highly recognized name! And you couldn't be Hokage! You failed the exams three times! And you only have one jutsu to your name that you used to defeat the hokage! I want you to teach me that!"

Does he know about the Kage Bushin? No, I didn't use that on the Hokage, I used…Oh jeez, does he really think I'll teach him that?

No, no, no! Absolutely not! You will not teach that perverted Jutsu to a KID!

Naruto ignored the freaked out God in order to ask, "Why don't you ask that Black-Spy wannabe to teach you something?"

"I tried!" the boy whined, "But then he went all like, 'Honorable Grandson, I am to teach you, not try to get you to killed! And BS like that!"

"…How the hell can you defend yourself if you don't know any jutsus?" demanded Naruto.

Judging by the persona I've seen of his so far-- he'll kick 'em in the balls then run.

Naruto cut into the tirade the younger boy had launched in order to convince his new-found hero to teach him, "Fine, I will. But only the one jutsu!"

Konohamaru grinned brightly, "Teach me boss!"

For most of the afternoon, every citizen of Konoha avoided the general area of the training ground Naruto had claimed for him and his student, in fear of the screams that consisted of: "TALLER!" and "SKINNIER!" and "DAMMIT BOY, DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE YOUR CHICKS FAT?!"

Finally, as the sun had almost began it's descent, Konohamaru collapsed in exhaustion when Naruto told him 'innocently', "I think you've got it!"

That poor kid is nearly dying! Kami wailed, Couldn't you have been nicer to him?

Kyuubi growled, Newsflash softy! Naruto was nice! If he wasn't, he'll get the gaki- brat- killed!

Oh… Kami winced, I keep forgetting humans kill for fun…er-life.

Yes, yes. We know you think animals are so much more better than humans, thought Naruto while in reality he asked Konohamaru, "Why on earth do people coddle you? You're just a kid!"

"I am NOT just a kid!" the boy yelled, "I am the Grandson of the Hokage!"

Naruto had to grin at Konohamaru's pompous attitude. Did the kid actually believe he'll drop all the rustic rudeness and grovel at his feet? He never did that to Jii-san, and certainly won't do that to this kid, "Whatever, you're still a gaki to me!"

When Konohamaru paused in shock, Naruto went on, "Well, you do have a reputation to conquer. So you plan on becoming Hokage? Too bad. You won't get the same respect you want, and anyway: I'm gonna be the Hokage!"

I thought I got rid of that notion long ago! Kami deadpanned.

The young boy looked up to the boy in shock, but before he could react, the egotistical man that accompanied him earlier burst from the bushes, "Honorable Grandson! Are you alright? How dare you kidnap the grandson of the Hokage!"

Naruto sputter, "No! No, I didn't- I couldn't…"

If the kit wanted to kidnap, you wouldn't have found him you sleazebag, Kyuubi mumbled with a sneer.

Naruto barely kept from rolling his eyes, You still can't be heard outside you idiot.

Kyuubi grinned pretty evily, I could be, it's just that everyone will try to behead you if I did so and I don't want to die just yet.

Oh I can feel the love, muttered Naruto

Kami decided it would be fun to needle his crush, You too? And here I thought I was the only one.

"-and so you are in a lot of trouble you monster! I, Ebisu!, will see to that!" the weirdo finished his rant.

Naruto almost didn't notice the end of his rant, "Gomen, I wasn't listening. Will you repeat that, slimeball? You're just too longwinded with hot air for me to pay attention." grinned Naruto.

Konohamaru's and Ebisu's jaws dropped, obviously unused to having the pompous ass be so rudely ignored. The snobbish boy found his wits first in form of a laugh, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- OH- MY- GOD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ebisu, however, was not as easily amused, "As the tutor of the Honorable Grandson, I am one of the more powerful ninja's in this village! You are a mere- are you listening to me?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA…HAHAHAHAHA…!"

Naruto glanced up to him, distracted from his conversation that began yet again with the demon and god within him about how Kyuubi doesn't love them, "Huh?"

"HAHAHA…HA…HA…!"

"THAT DOES IT! I am taking you back to the Hokage where you will be punished!" at that statement, Naruto glared and angrily swiped off the spittle the yelling had splattered across his face.

"Wait a minute!" roared Konohamaru already up from his hysterical fit, "You will NOT march him in, he did nothing wrong!"

"You'll respect your elders boy!" barked Ebisu, not knowing it would rub wrong on the spoiled brat.

"Respect? Respect?! I'll show you respect you-you-dirt bag!" Konohamaru yelled, "Orike-no-Jutsu!"

With a theatrical poof of smoke (it's back!) Konohamaru finally got down the jutsu becoming a naked brunette with huge unmentionables and wisps of smoke barely covering them.

Since the amount of space between the two were minimal at best, Naruto was the only one who saw the tiny amount of blood leaking out of his nose, "Wh-why Honorable Grandson! That-that Jutsu is far beneath you station! Stop the foolish unright gesture at once! No one would fall for that!"

Naruto wondered, Is "unright" even a word?

Kyuubi's thoughts, however, where more along the line of, Damned hypocrite!

And, of course, there's Kami's, Why the hell is everyone a pervert?!, wail.

"PERVERT! And a freakin' hypocrite!" voiced Naruto, echoing Kyuubi's anger, "How dare you pretend you are not affected?" With a barely concealed snarl, Naruto made the seals and whispered, "Kage-Bushin-no-Jutsu."

Clones appeared all over the training area, all with a slightly evil smirk plastered on his face. Konohamaru gaped, he knew boss was strong, but not THIS strong! Ebisu stepped back, fear evident in his eyes but was ready to fight! In unison, they all lifted their hands in a henge seal, with a chorus of, "Orike-no-Jutsu."

With a poof, the clones all became naked blondes, diving towards Ebisu with a scream, "Harem-no-Jutsu!" All the "women" began to indecently rub against the jounin.

For a moment, Ebisu turned into stone, shocked. Then his nose EXPLODED in a fountain of blood, the force of it literally propelling him off of his feet.

All of the girls poofed away and Naruto dropped his henge but not the triumphant grin that beamed from his face.

Konohamaru had trouble deciding whether he should: gape in shock, cheer as loud as possible, or run around like a headless chicken. He decided the third choice would not be a good option and he was way too happy just to gape, therefore the sonic BOOM went off, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! YOU BEAT HIM!"

Naruto plugged up an (human) ear with one hand and the other wiped away a tear of joy, I'm soo proud! He reached a new inhuman pitch!

Kami frowned, confused again, That's not something you're supposed to be proud of…

Kyuubi gave a mental equivalent of a shrug, for once not smart mouthing any word.

As Konohamaru's cheers died down, his smile slid off of his face. He realized wasn't strong enough, he was weak. He couldn't use the jutsu like boss could, he was weak. Totally weak, he would never become Hokage and get recognition for what he would do instead of Grandpa's fame.

He was weak.

Konohamaru didn't even notice the tear rolling down his cheeks until Naruto was bent over him and drying of his cheeks with a soft sleeve, "Alright?"

The boy blew his slightly dripping nose in the offered sleeve, ignoring the teen's completely grossed out face as he stared at the soaked sleeve, "No."

"Why not?" Naruto asked, ignoring the snot but then understood. The brat felt the same way he had when he failed the exams! Awwww…

Then the waterworks went on, Th-that's soo-ooo ADORABLE! Kami sobbed.

Kyuubi looked distinctly uncomfortable; after all, Kami was crying on his chest.

"Listen kid," said Naruto waiting for Konohamru to look at him before continuing, "Not everything in life is simple and handed to you on a platter. But to get something to be proud of, to become someone you're proud of, you have to work at it. You have to keep trying your best because the day you fail is the day you have died. There is no shortcuts to being great, but everyone can be awesome if they just tried."

Konohamaru stared at the vessel in shock for a full moment. Then looking down, he thought it over and nodded once. Glancing back up, a serious look graced his face, "I understand!"

Naruto grinned and began to walk away.

But the child wasn't done yet, "But Naruto!" he yelled, making the teen return his attention to him, "I will kick your ass before either of us become Hokage!"

Kami grinned.

Kyuubi smirked.

Naruto yelled, "I'll be waiting!"

END

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