MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK! Didja miss me?
Well, I don't own Naruto and everyone else 'cause then they'll all be gay...and no one would watch...
Thanks to DarkRavie, keruki, and The Elven-Spear for reviewing;
and for everyone else REVIEW OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENSES!!!!!
Oh, and there's a yaoi scene now! yay!
Start
As a teenager, it's an unwritten rule to believe your life sucks absolutly the worst ever. As a shinobi, it's even more predominate in adolescents and teenagers because of the high fatality rate their career has to offer.
Personally, Naruto thinks fate has it in for him.
I'm late! I'm late! I'm sooooo very late! was his wail as he sped down the streets of Konoha. I can't believe I'm so late! And today of all days!
Will you SHUT UP! Even though you may want to get up at an ungodly hour, I still want to sleep!yelled Kyuubi, even though he knew his human would ignore him.
Kami was confused again, It's long past dawn, and I usually get up before even that time. How come now is considiered ungodly?
Kyuubi ignored his logic that made his own statment untrue and was stuffing his furry pointed ears, trying so hard to block out the rants of Naruto.
Today was the day the boy took a step forward to his long-held dream: to become the best Hokage ever. Yes, he still upheld that dream even though he is going to become the god of the forest and has a demon inside of him. But those obstacles or attributes only make him even more special!
However, if the boy didn't get in the classroom assigning the gennin teams within five minutes, he would miss the his team assignment. Iruka promised that if anyone didn't get them, they wouldn't be on the team.
Naruto was NOT about to let that happen! No way! Not after all he had been through! He's faced perverts and traitors to get to this point!
Lost in his thoughts (ie: rant) the new genin only came back to the outside reality when he nearly knocked over a street vendor. Wide-eyed, he just barely leaped over the cart, grazing the over-head shade sheet.
Relieved, Naruto raced down the street to the school, ignoring the angry vender yelling after him, "IF YOU DARE TO RUN AT MY CART AGAIN, YOU WILL DIE! YOU DAMNED SHINOBIS ARE ALL ALIKE!" Well, at least the man didn't see Naruto face-to-face. Otherwise, he'll be screaming "DEMON!" at the top of his lungs, convince everyone that the boy tried to kill him, form some sort of lynch mob and…
Well, let's just say it's a good thing the vender didn't see Naruto.
If you were really so worried about it, Kami frown, Why didn't you sleep in the apartment you had earlier?
Naruto almost wailed, the only reason he didn't was the demon that was yelling at him to be quiet, Of course I don't own in my apartment now! But it would have been a good thing if I was actually in the village!
Kami merely shrugged, Not my fault you decided to live your human life too!
Kyuubi groaned loudly. Why the hell were those two still talking? It's time for the all-powerful, super strong, nearly immortal, Lord of the modern Makai Demon's nap time! Were is the common sense, people?
Ignoring the irate murdering demon trapped inside his body, Naruto finally made it to the school. Sighing with happiness, he bound across the halls then halted completely,
Kami sighed and smacked his hand to his face, he moaned.
After searching the rooms and being chased out of them from insane teachers, he finally found the right one. Flouncing in…er, bouncing in, Naruto grinned brightly.
"What the hell are you doing here, dumbass?" loudly questioned Kiba, the shinobi whose skill was inherited from a bond with dogs, "This meeting's for graduates."
"Look right here, dog-breath!" if possible Naruto grinned even wider (if possible) while he gestured at his forehead protector, "I passed! Ufufufufufufufufufufufufufufu!"
WILL YOU STOP THE EVIL CACKLING?!
All of the shinobi shivered at the evil laughter the blonde let escape. Well, the human counterparts did anyway. For some reason, Shino, the shinobi in the sunglasses and big over coat, was buzzing.
Even weirder was Kiba's inu-dog partner. Akamaru, the cute adorable white puppy, was know to be very shy around all of the other ninja, including Hinata, the kindest kunochi that ever existed. However, he now leapt out of Kiba's huge coat and ran straight to Naruto.
Kami!Kami!Kami!Kami! the puppy whined, looking adorable, I'm so hungry, I'm about to starve! Feed me! Pet me! Pay a lot of attention to me!
Smiling yet again, Naruto proceeded to lavish attention on to the deprived puppy. The other gennin decided they shouldn't waste anymore time on the dead-last and proceeded to go back to what they were doing.
"Don't you dare sit next to him, Ino-pig! Sasuke-kun would want to sit next to me!" a pink hair girl yelled at another.
The blonde scowled and retorted loudly, "As if Sasuke-kun will want to sit next to your large forehead, Sakura-baka! Why don't you and your fantasies go and leave the adults alone!"
"Adults! Why you little…" seethed the girl.
Ah, yes. Sakura and Ino. They used to be such good friends until the "Sex God at Twelve" came on the scene. Now they're just at each other's throats.
The stoic boy grunted, "Hn," and made no move to stop either of them.
Naruto looked up from where he was causing the dog to be complete blissful, with a frown. Why wouldn't Sasuke stop them? One word and it would be silent.
Kami ignored the drama to coo at the dog (even though the pup couldn't hear him) Yes, you are so adorable, you cutie! Yes you are! Yes you are!
Rolling his eyes at the kami, Naruto whispered out loud, "See you later Akamaru." Jumping up onto the desk directly in front of the boy, Naruto stared.
'Someone's watching me…' Sasuke thought and opened his eyes slowly (in a very cool way of course). Four centimeters away from his nose was Naruto, staring straight into his eyes. If Sasuke was any less of a man, he would have jumped at the proximity. But he wasn't, so he just glared.
Naruto (being Naruto) strengthened his stare into a glare. Why they decided to get into a glaring contest, I have no idea. Must be a guy thing.
"Oi! Naruto-baka! Get away from Sasuke-kun!" screeched Sakura.
Both of the boys ignored her. Sasuke sneered, "Dobe…"
"Teme," Naruto growled back.
They would have stayed stalemate in the impromptu glaring contest for much longer time but fate decided it would be the right time to intervene; because after all, she has it in for Naruto, remember? In other words, Shikamaru, the lazy shinobi sleeping at his desk right in front of Sasuke's, decided this would be a good time to wake up. Yawning, the ninja sat up and stretched, accidentally bumping into Naruto.
Well, a wise man once said: every action has an equal and opposite reactions. As Shikamaru's arms banged into Naruto's back, both boys propelled forward. Shikamaru was able to stop himself from falling before he hit something, but Naruto was too close to something, more like someone, to avoid contact.
Yep, he hit Sasuke right smack dab in the kisser with his own mouth.
Shikamaru's eyes widened comically as he saw what he accidentally did to the two most deadly boys in the class, "Are you two alright? Gomen-nasi!"
"OH! MY! GOD!" screamed Sakura, "Naruto! Get your dirty paws off of Sasuke-kun right now!"
As he heard the indignant shriek of the fan girl, Naruto was infuriated and highly insulted. He wasn't supposed to be told what he can or cannot do!
Oh no! Don't you DARE do something perverted! Kami wailed, Don't you dare!
Naruto decided to do something perverted. Wrapping his arms tightly around Sasuke's shoulders, he swung his feet forward to either side of the other boy. Without releasing that sudden kiss (collision of lips), Naruto inched forward and off the desk until he was in Sasuke's lap and their bodies were pressed against each others. Feeling Sasuke gasp at the unexpected contact, Konoha's most unpredictable ninja slipped his tongue into the other boy's mouth.
Sasuke was trying to figure out what the hell just happened and how to get out of the mess, up until Naruto started to really get into and dominate the kiss. Forgetting all rational thought, Sasuke inwardly growled, 'I'm the Avenger! I do not submit under anyone!' With that thought in mind, the last Uchiha began to fight for control of the kiss. Nosebleeds began all over the room as the ninja saw the tongues battle it out, reaching across and sliding into the other mouth. Sakura was speechless as Sasuke-kun leaned over and pressed the blonde boy against the desk, causing Naruto's back to acrch up and pressing closer together than before. Hell, Ino was speechless as Sasuke 'won' the toungue battle (Naruto let him) and began to explore the boy's mouth. Finally, after six excruciating minutes, they released each other with a soft pop and a slight gasp.
Sasuke's eyes were glazed over, his supple lips slightly parted with shock, "Wow."
"You just wait," Naruto smirked an unholy smirk after he regained his breath, "Sex is even better."
Sakura was just about to yell to Naruto about, 'defiling her precious Sasuke! It was supposed to have been her job dammit!' but lost her voice in order to gape at the lewd comment.
Ino was extremely good at finding her voice in an event so traumatic to any Sasuke fangirl, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
"Well…" grinned Naruto, "I just made out with an extremely cute boy, and now I'm talking sex with him."
Just as the two girls were about to lunge at him, Iruka walked in, "What are you all doing? Sit down now before I kick you off the team!"
Immediately, Sakura sat next to the quiet Hyuuga Hinata, Ino sat right next a chomping Chouji, and Naruto (still grinning) sat right on top of a stunned Sasuke.
Iruka frowned, "Naruto, on a chair please."
Pouting, Naruto nonetheless complied to the request from his favorite kind teacher. Sasuke hadn't even reacted, his eyes were still glazed over.
Kami whined inaudibly, I knew you were going to do something perverted. I knew it. Why can't you be somewhat normal, time to time?
Naruto nearly snorted out loud, Didn't you know, I'm not normal at all. You and Kyu-chan changed that for me.
"Team seven," Iruka read, already have began his team reading.
Naruto nearly hit himself realizing he missed the entire first half of the speech, "Uzumaki Naruto…" the said boy grinned, It didn't matter! Yay!
"Haruno Sakura…" the grin slid off his face, the girl looking none to happy herself. Crossing his fingers under the table, he chanted,
Iruka continued on, "and Uchiha Sasuke." Sakura let out a big cheer, (the were destined to be together after all!) while Sasuke slumped down into his seat, sneering at his desk.
Naruto, however, let out a deliciously evil cackle, "Ufufufufufufufufufu!"
DAMMIT, WILL YOU STOP THAT!
Iruka had to stop in mid of, "Team Eigh-" in order for Naruto to calm down. After Naruto's evil laughter died away, Iruka said, "Thank you. Now, Team…"
Naruto ignored the rest of the groups (including Shikamaru's and Ino's groans as they were put on the same team) to smirk at the Uchiha.
If Sasuke was any less of a man, he would have shivered. If he was Kiba, he would have crawled under his desk and stayed there for an hour. But he was an Uchiha and an Avenger! He wasn't going to back down for the dobe who stole his first kiss! So he gave him the UCHIHA DEATH GLARE © trying to hide his discomfort.
Knowing the Uchiha was slightly off balance no matter how stoic he looked, Naruto revealed some teeth in a wolf grin-all predatory and ready for the hunt.
Shivering, the boy turned to the front to catch, "Your Jounin instructors will come within ten minutes. Please wait here quietly until your team is collected. Good luck and please, don't die too soon."
Iruka left them to their own devices. Soon, Sakura was gloating about how she was going to win Sasuke-kun over with her obvious good looks and skills as a ninja; evidently forgetting it was Naruto who made out with her crush. On the opposite end, Ino was hitting her head on the desk repeatedly, whining how unfair her life was to be stuck with two losers.
Soon, the ninja instructors came and went. One of the more memorable ones were a pretty kunoichi and a huge man. The woman actually knocked Kiba out when he questioned her credentials, and the man slung Shikamaru over his shoulder much like a sack of potatoes because he fell asleep waiting in the small amount of time.
In not too long of time, team seven was left alone in classroom. Naruto was bored with annoying Sasuke and now was: sitting on top of a desk with his feet swinging back and forth, humming a nonsensical tune, and arguing with Kami whether to wake up Kyuubi or not (It would be the right thing to do! No it wouldn't! Shut up!)
Even Sakura has given up on bugging Sasuke. Instead, she was pouring over some scroll or another about charka.
Sasuke was brooding. Yes, most of the emo kids now would be done, but hey this is the last surviving Uchiha we're talking about! He agonizes over the make out scene with Naruto, agonizes over his past, and agonizes over "someone he has to kill." See? He has a lot to sulk about.
Finally, Naruto decided punishment was in order for the idiot Jonin who kept him waiting. He had lost the freakin' argument with Kami and had sang the random tune at least fifty times!
Jumping off the desk, he skulled to the front of the room. Grabbing a eraser, he placed it on top of the door. Walking back a few steps, Naruto examined his prank, chuckling evilly, "Ufufufufufufufufu!"
STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT! Kami howled.
Looking up because of the snicker, Sakura told him in a know-it-all tone of voice, "You know a Jounin wouldn't fall for that, right?"
Naruto shook his head, about to explain that this prank was reserved for the really stupid people, and helllo! he was the one to escape all of the ANBU and ninja when he gave the Hokage monument a makeover!
Just before he could go into his speech, the door open. The eraser fell with a POOF on to the figure, hiding the person. All the kids gaped at first before Naruto started a victory dance on the spot, his invisable tail wagging hard, "Hell yeah! It worked!" Totally didn't expect that but cool!
Sakura looked as if she was about to cry, "I didn't have anything to do with that, I swear! It was all Naruto-san's fault! I didn't even want to do it!"
Sasuke stared at the mess before him, "Hn."
The victim looked up, but they couldn't tell what he was thinking. A mask covered the lower half of his face and the forehead protector was skewed over one eye. The only remaining feature, his right eye, was crinkled, "Well, my first impression is…I don't like any of you."
Naruto's laughter petered off but accepted that. Sakura was about to sob/wail/cry. Sasuke said, "Hn."
"Meet me on the roof," was his words as he POOFED off in a puff of smoke. Thoughts raced across the young shinobi's minds, the most predominate on Naruto's were,
Making their way to the roof of the building, they all were silent. Well, with Sasuke, it wasn't all that exciting or unexpected. He is the quiet emo, remember? But it was shocking that Sakura wasn't proclaiming her love to Sasuke with the BS they were destined to be together, and it was strange how Naruto wasn't proclaiming he would be Hokage and the Best Ninja Ever YOSH © ! Well, maybe they were arguing with inner personas!
So they made it to the roof, staring at their sensei. The Jounin felt a shiver go down his back, but ignored it in favor of saying, "Ano sa, why don't we all introduce ourselves? Tell our desires, goals, and hobbies?"
They stared at him some more. Finally Sakura piped up with, "Why don't you give us an example, sensei?"
"An example? Well…" the teacher trailed off, looking to the distance, "Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi, I like a couple of things, I dislike few, I have some hobbies, and my dream is none of your business."
Sakura stared at him in bemusement and shock, "But what about all the other stuff? We only learned your name!"
Shrugging, Kakashi offered, "If you think you'd do a better job, then go ahead pinkie."
The supposedly intelligent girl tossed her bright pink hair back over her shoulder with an indignant huff, "Fine! I'm Haruno Sakura, I like…" she trailed off, looked at Sasuke and giggled, "I HATE Ino-pig and Naruto-baka! My hobbies are…" she trailed of and glanced at Sasuke again, "And my dreams are…" she couldn't finished that sentence because she filled with happy giggles, looking at her beloved Sasuke-kun.
Kakashi raised the one visible eyebrow at the fan girl, "Right. Anyway, the dark boy, you go ahead."
"I am Uchiha Sasuke. I don't like anything. I dislike a lot. My hobby is to train to become stronger. My dream, no ambition, is to kill someone," rattled off Saskue in a monotone voice.
Of course Sakura squealed a, "OMG! Sasuke-kun is so cool!"
Naruto snaps out of his "inner conversation" with Kami at the shriek. Dryly, he commented with a finger stuck in his ear, "Oi, Sakura-chan. Yell a bit louder next time. There are people who didn't hear you in Suna-desert country."
Kakashi hid a snicker and cut in before Sakura could hit him, "Blondie your next."
"Huh?" remember, he wasn't listening.
Rolling his eyes, Kakashi offered, "Introductions?"
A grin grew upon Naruto's face, "Yosh! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! And um…what I like next? Oh, yeah! Okay, I like plants and animals…I MEAN, ramen and yeah…um and I dislike peop-I mean the three minutes for Ramen and…I dream to be the best HOKAGE EVER! YOSH!"
Eye crinkling up again, Kakashi smiled, "Fine. Good! Meet me at training ground 7 tomorrow. And don't eat anything, you'll just throw up!"
The sensei disappeared in a puff of smoke. Finally Naruto spoke up, "Is it just me or is everyone insane?"
end
YAY! I got a makeout scene! but it was short! Does that even out?
Tell me if you like it or it sucked!