MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I GOTS A NEW ONE! Squee!

I'll like to thank DarkRavie, Ichihime, Forever Dreamin, keruki, and The Elven-Spear for review! Mwah! Love you!

Warning! Yaoi make-out scene!

START

Shoveling ramen into his mouth, Naruto gave a big and happy sigh, I love ramen. Ramen is the best ever. Without ramen, life would be incomplete. Wait, what am I saying? Without ramen life would be void! There would be no meaning to life! How can anyone hate ramen?

I'm just saying you should try eating the leafy greens. For the most part, plants don't mind…well, they don't have any mind but that's beside the point, Kami informed his host with a roll of his eyes, Speaking of food, didn't your teacher tell you not to eat anything? Something about, 'throwing it all back up?'

Naruto gave a pointed slurp with the retort, And does it really look like I give a damn about that? Now leave me in peace, I'm trying to eat here.

Kami threw non-existent hands up in the air in exasperation with his heir, I try to help watch your health but nooooo! You don't need it! Of course you don't need it! You're the human! All I'm trying to do is make sure you don't die before you're one-hundred, but you've got it all planned! Why don't you listen to me? I'm trying to help! Kyuubi, back me up here!

Mortal, listen to your kami, mumbled Kyuubi before rolling over, trying to go back to sleep. What was up with these two? They were always up before it was noon! The nerve!

Finishing off the third bowl, Naruto dumped the empty containers on to the rack that read RETURN, "Arigato- thank you, ojii-san!" he yelled out to the cook but inwardly deadpanned, Yep, because I aaaaalways have listened to kami-sama…

Shut up, kit, Kami scolded sourly, If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Oh my, did I really just say that?

Yes, you did…you old man! jeered Naruto, Next thing you know, you'll be sitting in a straight back chair, playing shougi-Japanese chess-, and complaining about the wild youth of today and how you would have never had done anything outrageous like that.

Kami was speechless. He didn't have anything to say. Well, he was about to say how he would have never disrespected elders so bluntly but Naruto's jibe sunk in.

Naruto chuckled, not the evil 'Ufufufufufufufufu, you better watch your ass' one; but a rare, cheerful, and happy laugh. It wasn't often the adolesent scored a point over a kami that has been alive for over a few millenniums. He would enjoy the small victory to the fullest while it lasted.

After all, despite having two beings, thousands and thousands years old, stuck in his body, Naruto was a little slow on the uptake. Thus the reason why he had only just realized that Sakura was trying to get his attention, and judging by her flashing green eyes and dark scowl, she had been attempting the task for awhile.

"Neh, gomen-nasi -sorry, Sakura-chan," Naruto smiled easily, in effort to mollify her fury, "I wasn't listening. Would you mind to repeat that?"

Sakura desperately wanted to burst out with a, 'Yes, I do mind! I mind that you weren't listening to me, you used such weird and polite language, and that you took Sasuke-kun from me!' but she didn't. Resigned, she signed and repeated, "I said, did I just see you eating ramen? Didn't you hear what Kakashi-sensei said?"

Naruto felt underlying tension in her question, but couldn't help but grin at the more than slightly annoyed girl (he has that effect on people), "Yes, you did and yes, I did."

"What?" Sakura paused and gaped openly at the honest to a fault blonde. Did he just admit what she thought he admitted? "You went back on orders? Just like that? Why?"

"Why?" repeated Naruto with the silly grin still plastered across his face, "Because I don't understand why I would have to go training on an empty stomach. If sensei wants to give me a good reason why I shouldn't eat, he should have said it. Besides, it was more like a request, neh?"

"You want a good reason? He said 'you'd throw it back up!'" Sakura argued hotly, "More like a request? Damn it, Naruto, it was an order!"

"He said 'if!'" retorted Naruto immediately, "Besides, even if he did order us (and I'm not saying he did!) I still would eat! Nothing comes between me and ramen-chan!"

Sakura's sharp mind drew up empty, point-blank at Naruto's...erm...eccentrics, "Ano, ramen-chan? You call your food by an affectionate female title?"

"Sure! What's wrong with that?" asked a confused Naruto. He always called his ramen, 'ramen-chan!' What was wrong with that? At least it wasn't like he had taken to calling the glorious food some actual name!

Shaking her head at her…well not quite friend but closer than an acquaintance, Sakura got back on topic, "But you have to obey your orders! It says in Chapter Two, Section Twenty One, Page Sixty Three in the Ninja Handbook (How to Become a Ninja) that a Ninja must obey any orders from superiors!"

"Screw the handbook," Naruto snapped, "I'm not going to always obey some damn strange orders that I don't like. What if you were ordered to kill Sasuke-teme? Would you do it just cause some higher f---er ordered you too?"

Sakura tried to reply but was stuck. What would she do? Love of her life? Or the rules? Love or rules? Hmmm…that was a difficult choice for her.

Immersed so deeply in her dilemma, Sakura actually didn't notice they had entered the training grounds except when her beloved muttered a, "Hn."

"Sasuke-kun!" she chirped happily, blocking out her conversation with Naruto in a flash as she attached herself to Sasuke's arm, "Are you ready for our first day of training?"

Naruto gave a small pout at being ignored. It didn't help Kami was teasing, I know there's a word for this. What was it again? Oh, wait! I know…DISS!

Shut up, Naruto growled at kami, trying to keep his face in the happy grin instead of a dark look he directed at, "Come on, bastard! The lady wants a reply!"

Sasuke sneered at Naruto-dobe but elaborated to the (fan)girl with a terse, "Yes."

Sakura beamed at getting an answer, despite the fact it was one short word and he had been goaded into it. Sated, she sat down on the edge of the bridge to pull out the same scroll from yesterday. Humming, she happily looked over her scribbles.

Sitting down on the opposite side of the bridge, Sasuke began the long sulk, er-sorry brood, about his absolutely horrible life and how no one else in the entire world could have such a shitty life. Ever. After all, he was an Uchiha, and they are the best at everything they put their mind to (even if it is sulking).

On the other hand, Naruto was not about to be extremely bored by talking with himself (does not include the two voices in his head) or shudder reading! No, no, no! He was going to do something much more productive!

Looking up, Sakura blinked at the figure on the shore, "Naruto…" she trailed off, trying to find the appropriate words before frankly blurting out, "Are you standing on your hands, burping the ABC's?"

Naruto twisted around so he could beam brightly at the distressed pink-head girl, "Of course not, Sakura-chan! Why would I do something silly that? I'm standing on my hands, burping my ABC's backwards!"

"Oh, yes. That makes a whole lot more sense now. Why would I have thought you would just burp the ABC's normally?" sarcastically muttered Sakura.

Despite the fact that I am in your head, I too am at a loss, tartly informed Kami, waking up Kyuubi to help him stare, How on earth is this…more productive then reading as you say?

Naruto kept on going, to burp out a, "R…Q...P...O" and teetering on his hands dangerously while he made a face inwardly at his godly processor, Because I want to! Duh!

What worries me the most, jumped in Kyuubi, exchanging a despaired glance with his fellow prisoner, Is that your answer makes sense. At least, for you.

Everyone loves me, you all can't help it, Naruto caroled to his prisoners happily, while he outwardly beamed at his teammates and burped, "L…K…J...I..."

Naruto's companions, both on the inside and the outside, exchanged eye rolls. Naruto has that effect on everyone, supreme being or otherwise. He loves to be himself, even if people don't respect him for that, and he wouldn't take any crap from anybody. In fact, Naruto himself on the thought, Nuttin' from nobody! Nuttin' no how! …Actually, he may have been a wee bit under the influence when he thought that…

After finishing the alphabet all the way to 'A,' Naruto began again. His teammates took to wincing at every rude belch, ie: "Y" twitch "X" twitch "W" twitch…

Unfortunately, for his teammates and prisoners sanity at least, Kakashi-sensei didn't show up for a good three hours. Three looong hours, only one of the hours occupying the hyperactive Naruto with the alphabet which he went through at least six times before becoming bored. He then started up a song or two or a dozen, still balancing on his hands, "He wore an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot bikini, THAT he wore for the first time today!…Ano...oh! I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, dee-deedle-dee, There they are just standing in a row, bum-bum-bum, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!…I don't know anymore of that song...ah...I'm a llama, you're a llama, we're all llamas! Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, DUCK!"

"What's a 'duck?'" an unexpected voice cut in, causing poor Naruto to tumble over painfully, "More importantly, what the hell is a 'llama?'"

"Ow…" Naruto moaned to himself pitifully before leaping up (all better all of the sudden) and pointing wildly at the silver-haired man, "You're late!"

Way to state the obvious, kit, Kyuubi rolled his insubstantial eyes, What's next? You going to tell us how bright, sunny, and too kami-damned cheery it is?

Kakashi's exposed eye blinked slowly, processing Naruto's correct accusation, "Huh. I guess I am. I suppose I was lost on the road of life."

How on earth do you do that? You only have one way to go in life, Kami frowned in confusion.

That's a very good question, Naruto told him and out loud (very loud) voiced indignitly, "Only a dumbass will get lost on a one lane road!"

Sasuke grunted rudely at Naruto while Sakura smacked her large forehead, "Naruto, don't call our sensei a dumbass," she sent Kakashi an evil glare, "Even if he is one!"

The wounded look Kakashi sent to his students had no affect probably because more than half of his face was covered up, "I was going to go easy on you all with what was coming, but now I'm not so sure."

Sasuke made a sour face, but before anyone noticed he had cleared it back to the unemotional features he usually displayed. He did not like to know that his teacher thought he was weak like his teammates so he had to go easy on him. Despite that, he asked shortly, "Go easy on us with what?"

"You need to take a test!" Kakashi's eye crinkled in a grin at his shocked students. Then the smile faded as he realized none of the kids, even the loud-mouth blonde, was going to shout anything with the confusion, so he elaborated, "The test! You know? Wait none of you know? Really..."

"WHAT?!" screamed Naruto, at the top of his lungs of iron. Sakura, the closest person to him, hunched down and slapped her hands around her ringing ears. Completely ignoring his injured teammate, Naruto jumped up and howled, "NOOOOO! WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO DO ANOTHER DAMN TEST!"

If either Kakashi or Sasuke felt bad for the pink-headed girl (those damn bastards didn't all that much) they would have felt only the uptmost sympathy for the supreme beings locked inside Naruto. At least Sakura didn't have to suffer through the thoughts echoing over and over as Naruto wanted the answer.

Damn it, kit! Kyuubi roared angerily, Shut! Up! Oh lord, I can't even hear myself think...UZUMAKI NARUTO! Kami's in a catatonic state! His hearing is better than mine and you're too loud for ME!

Lost in the howls and roars of his roommates, Kami whimpered, Should have ignored that human, even if he was the strongest in the area...Kuso, I won't be able to hear for a long time.

With one last glare at his sensei, Naruto stopped yelling. Resulting in his thoughts dying down to a more tolerable level, That bast- (I usually only edit out Iruka, but this sentence is way to inapporpriate for anyone).

Well excuse me! It's bad enough your teacher says stuff that, but you too? Better watch your thoughts, they become actions! the affronted Kami scolded harshly.

Naruto barely bit back a growl errupting from his throat, You're not helping. He glared up at his teacher and bit out, "You haven't answered me yet!"

"Fine, fine. Do you know how many academy graduates make it to gennins," Kakashi grinned at the openly confused faces, "Don't you remember? Well, surprise! You have to past a test in order to gain the next step of being a ninja!"

Sakura's mouth drew tight in a grimance, "I don't understand. I hate it, but Naruto-san's right. We've already passed the test to become gennins. Why do we need to take another test?"

"Think of it like this: you passed the test to get out of the academy. But that wasn't your final exam, this is. Depending of this, I would either accept your team or you all fail! Complete and utter failure is not an option." offered their teacher with a shrug.

He waited with an expecting grin. 5...4...3...2...1! "WHAT!" Yep, there it is!

Naruto was the first to regain his voice after such a truamatizing announcment, "WHAT! No way you...! Of all the...! GAH!" Well, he did regain his voice, he just didn't get his brain to complete the sentences.

Finally, Sakura resigned herself to the horrible fate. She trotted up closer to Kakashi and Naruto, who were off the bridge, to face her teacher better, "So what do we have to do? Some powerful jutsu? Fight each other? Complete some sort of written test about ninja's? Give us some details!"

"Well, your teammate better come over too. Don't want to repeat it twice if I don't have to," waiting until Sasuke finally join them, Kakashi smirked though his students couldn't reconize it behind the mask, "Well, you have pass this sort of retrieve and survive test. In other words you have to get these from me!"

...Please don't tell me that he just pulled a pair of bells from behind his back... Kami commented faintly.

Kyuubi frowned, I do believe he just did...Okay, for some reason, I have the feeling I'm going to need to bleach my brain after this...

What can be so bad about a pair of bells, asked Naruto while he said, "What the hell? We get a pair of bells from you? Fine, the sooner we do this, the sooner I can kick your asses!"

Before Naruto could follow through with his threat, Kakashi spoke up, "However! Yes, Naruto sit back down I'm not finished yet! However! If you don't get the bell, you will be sent back to the academy!"

The cheerful statment almost shocked his students into silence again, but Sakura piped up, "But there's only two bells! What about the third person if...um...they don't get the bell?"

"Oh, yes. They are sent back to the academy and the other two move up in the ranks!" smiled Kakashi.

All three wanna-be ninjas twitched at the implication. They would have to wait one more year to advance, to become stronger. Even if they were in shock, Naruto wouldn't remain silent for long, "Fine, I'll just kick your ass to the moon!" With that setiment, he charged forward at the teacher as if he was reckless.

Naruto leaped up and spun out a powerful kick but before his heel could connect with Kakashi's face, the man disappeared. Before the boy could land back in a fighting stance, he was accosted. His arm was twisted behind his back and a kunai rested right above his windpipe. "Somewhat trigger happy, aren't you?" his teacher's warm breath across his ear (henged and real) made Naruto shiver, "I haven't even said 'go' yet."

With those words, he dumped Naruto back on the ground. The young teenager jumped to his feet, ready to go, not without throwing a glare at the two teammates who didn't help him. Sakura winced but Sasuke rolled his eyes, obviously thinking that if Naruto was dumb enough to attack Kakashi, he got what was coming to him.

Kakashi thought maybe he misinterpreted the team and they wouldn't pass... Aw, well. If they didn't pass, the more time to read his book, "Ready...set...GO!" with the final word, the ground disappeared with grey smoke.

As the smoke began to clear, Kakashi made a jutsu to cast over the training ground to find his students. Two of them, one pink and the other blue, was subdued in the trees. A slight smile lit upon the teachers face since he realized his earlier assesment had been correct, the two weren't totally incompetent. Kakashi spread more charka across the trees to search for Naruto. To his confusion, he was unable to find the third boy. Kakashi turned from the trees to the grounds in search of the boy. Suddenly, his senses went the equivilient of blindness.

In the middle of the training ground stood Naruto, brazen and ready to take on the world with a happy grin on his face. The boy's charka...was strange even for a demon vessel. Instead of taking on a particular color based on personalty and strengthes, his charka was as bright as the sun with hints of orange, green, red, and brown underneath. Charka rolled off of the ninja in waves, making the boy seem as if he was double his size and width.

A small smile grew into a wide grin as Naruto saw confusion evident in Kakashi's eye. Feet already slightly planted apart with one arm up in a block stance and the other cocked for a punch. Amusement danced in his eyes even as Kami scolded, Don't you dare go all out! The man won't survive! Limit yourself!

Unsure about what the hell was going through the boy's mind, Kakashi hesintantly called out, "Shouldn't you be hiding with your teammates?" Dammit, did this kid completely miss the point?

"I want to beat you, myself," the young ninja's boasted, he serious eyes betraying the levity in his words, "Don't worry. I'll make sure you don't suffer too much."

Kakashi could barely contain his eyeroll, yep the kid missed the point, "Well, since you could be my student, I should start a lesson. Lesson one: taijutsu."

This time, Naruto was ready when the man disappeared. Fake blue eyes narrowed as he borrowed Ashfur's much better sight. Watching carefully, he leaped up at the last moment while throwing kunai he had grabbed out of his pocket.

The jounin skidded to a stop, the kunai burying in the ground in front of him with an audible thunk. His eye widen for a moment in shock but his face settled into the lazy smile before the children could process it.

Before gravity could make itself known again, Naruto twisted. His right foot rasied just above his head, ready to slam down like a hammer upon the silver head. The boy began to speed up as he plummeted back to earth. Naruto began to swing his foot down. Odds against odds, Kakashi reached out and grabbed the boy's shin in a powerful holding. The world seemed to stop for a second as the two fighters eyes clashed.

The moment passed and Naruto found himself falling to the ground with only his teachers grip holding him above the ground. Using the momentum to his advantage, Naruto swung like a pendulem, his spine twisting to what looked like a rather painful position. His two fists smacked against the teacher's kneecaps but he kept going until the back of his blonde head collided with Kakashi's stomach. Wind knocked out of him, Kakashi inevitably loosened his hold on the boy's leg. With the only thing holding him upside-down was gone, Naruto's spine more or less snapped back to its original curve causing him to land with a soft whumf, upright and ready to go.

Kakashi was nearly ready to fight back again, once he regained his breath knocked out of him. Damn, that kid's head was hard. Well, it probably made sense, to protect the precious little stored in there. Even so, he was a jounin! No need for him to be bested by a kid in taijutsu!

The jounin regained his breath not a moment too soon. Naruto attacked him like a fury of disturbed wasps. The boy's hands flashed over and over with the gleam of shrunken between his fingers. Kakashi look for all appearences he couldn't fight back, retreating just inches away from the makeshift claws. Finally, the young ninja lunged forward, catching his teacher by surprise. Fabric tore away across his biceps, revealing pale skin with small red scratches. Before his surprise crippled him, Kakashi collect himself.

In a sudden movement, Kakashi grabbed Naruto's forearm, snaking around the shrunken. The teacher's foot lashed out with a strong kick to the boys shin. At the sudden and painful contact, the boy's balance was thrown of. Kakashi seized Naruto's shoulder to turn him around, forcibly twisting his opponets arm behind his back. Before Naruto could wiggle out of his grasp, he caught the boy's other arm and applied pressure with his foot to the back of the knees.

"Well, this seems familiar," Kakashi murmured to his student, while his hand flashed in mock seals, "But I'm afraid I won't be as kind to you as I was before," with that, the teacher called out, "Special Technique: One Thousand Years Of Pain!"

With that, he rammed his fingers up Naruto's backside as he released him.

With a loud yell, Naruto flew up in the air and into the bushes. Fortunately, the leaves piled themselves up before Naruto crashed landed to save him from a bruise. Even so, he was so gobsmacked, that he could only think with the childish scandalization, Did he just stick his fingers up my ass? I think he just stuck his fingers up my ass!

Even though Naruto was shocked, Kami was far far worse. He was shocked and angry, It's bad enough my heir's a pervert, but no! THE SENSEI HAS TO GO AND STICK HIS FINGERS WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG!

He's not so bad. The man will probably make a wicked lover. Can you imagine the domination in bed? a small line of drool trinkled out of Kyuubi's mouth.

No, no, no, no, NO! howled Kami, No perversim! Not now, not ever! Keep your thoughts to yourself!

Kyuubi pouted, I can't help it, he informed the god sulkily, If I think it's hot, then I think it's hot.

Naruto slightly snapped out of his shock to wail, He sticks fingers up my ass and it's all painful! He could have at least followed it up with...

Kami's voice dropped an octave to growl, Don't. You. Dare. Finish. That. Sentence.

Luckily for Kami, Naruto forgot to finish that thought as his Uchiha jumped out of the tree next to him. A frown marred his face while he ruggedly helped Naruto help, "What the hell where you thinking out there? You can't take on a jounin!"

"Why? Are you jealous he stuck his fingers up my ass and you didn't?" asked Naruto when he was pulled up but nearly fell back down when the other boy dropped him like a hot brick. Barely catching himself before he made his aquantice with the ground again, Naruto turned back to glare at Sasuke, "What was that for?!"

The frown that had adored his face now twisted into a smirk, "You deserved it...dobe."

Whatever obsenities Naruto was going to yell, they were cut off by a loud feminime scream. Both of the boys' heads snapped to the direction of the tapering scream.

Without another word, they bounded off. Jumping up into the trees, they bounced from branch to branch with deadly intent. At last, they came upon a small clearing, with only one figure. A pink haired girl who looked truamatized and tearful. Her stained face was red and her mouth moved in a silent no over and over. She didn't react to her teammates, even as they landed infront of her. Her green eyed gaze locked into one spot, seemingly nothing.

"Genjutsu," Naruto diagnosed after quietly observing her slightly out of focus eyes. His fists clenched slightly as he wondered why his teacher would go all out on the graduate student.

Sasuke made a small grunt to show he agreed. A small part wondered if this girl was going to drag him down. After all, he needed to be the best so he could put a scratch on his brother. But with a shake, he reminded himself that she was his teammate and he should help her at least.

Unaware of Sasuke's delimmia, Naruto made a sign, murmuring, "Kai." With that, the charka the trapped Sakura rippled then disappeared as the girl awoke from her vision.

With evident confusion, she stared at the illusion that had disappeared then glanced up. As she saw the two boys, a choked sob wrenched from he throat as she seized both of the boys in a tight hug around their necks, "I-I saw...y-you d-d-die!" was her wail.

"Sakura!" Naruto yelled over her sobs and iron-tight grip, "If you don't let you, you might kill us!" At that sentiment, Sakura released the two from her grasp, her sobs quieting down to sniffles, "Sakura-chan, do you remember what Iruka-sensei said about genjutsu?"

An odd look crossed over the girl's face, "Did you just call me Sakura-chan?"

Naruto rolled his eyes with exageration, "Trust a girl to latch on the most important bit. Come on. Let's get out of the line of fire," he said even as he started to drag Sakura and Sasuke into the bushes.

"How the hell are we going to get those damn bells?" Sasuke brought up, "We can't touch him. And he says we'll have to wait another year if we fail."

Sakura nodded in agreement, "I can't even get near him. Frankly I don't want to go near him."

As their opinions were put out, Naruto got an idea. His mouth grew into an evil and mischievious smirk that sent shivers down the spines of his compainions.

Kami muttered, Please don't think what I think you thinking...please! Don't think like that, please please please...!

Naruto ignored him in favor of smirking, "Well all we have to do is pick his pocket. I'll be the shade, Sasuke can be the wire, and Sakura can be the stick!" At their confused looks, Naruto rolled his eyes (even though he himself had only learned the terms from Kyuubi and the experience in the Makai-Demon World) and elaborated, "I'll distract him, Sasuke will relieve him of the bells, and Sakura will recieve the bells and help me! Now, here's what we do..."

Kakashi sat on the log, reading his book he had hid under the log before. Previously, he had thought he would be reading it from the start, but the blonde dummy had attacked him first off. Not that quick attacks weren't too awful for a ninja to use, but still that boy needed to learn patience. Even so, that was rather fun, even if he didn't go full out (he was unaware Naruto hadn't gone full out too). Now the girl was rather disappointing. He had thought since Naruto was supposed to be dead-last, Sakura would be even better. But nope, not even a fraction.

Feeling eyes staring at him, he looked up into the cold glare of Sasuke. The boy's voice was nearly caused frost to come out of his mouth as he said, "Put down that book. Today is the day I will defeat you."

"Naw, I think I'm fine like this," smirked Kakashi, enjoying a small amount of surprise flickering in the teenager's eyes before his mouth settled in a scowl. He smirked and said, "By the way, the third lesson is Ninjutsu."

In blind anger, Sasuke made the seals for his own family technique, a fire jutsu that spat flames right out of the mouth. He saw Kakashi disappear right before the flames reached him and taking careful control to spin around to create a ring of fire.

Naruto frowned. Now the question was how was he suppose to get close enough to Kakashi? The boy already assured both of his teammates he would be able to distract Kakashi, but he already had a plan in mind.

A slight manical grin crossed Kyuubi's face (Kami was in the corner muttering about perverts), You could always use...a picture of a certain orange bound book crossed their minds.

The boy's lips curled into a smile that resembled the Demon's.

Sasuke canceled the jutsu. He scowled when he didn't see any charred remains of his teacher. Looking around, he spotted the man leaning up against a tree, for all appearences, absorbed in his orange book.

The dark teenager raced up to the tree, drawing a kunai. Kakashi gave a kick, that would have connected if Sasuke was aiming for him. In one deft move, he raced forward, jumped over the leg, and grabbed the book with one hand.

In shock, the jounin tried to pull the book out of the boy's hands but only succeeded in pulling the young teenager closer to his goal. A smirk curled up and his hair began to grow lighter in color.

The man's eye widened and began to say, "Naruto..." before the boy put his plan into action. He revearsed his grip on the kunai and brought it slashing to the man's face. In shock, the man tried to move back, but was hindered by the tree he was leaning against. It seemed as if he had moved back far enough as the kunai bit and teared the fabric of the man's mask. But it was all for not as Naruto surged forward. Kakashi closed his eye and...

Felt something warm upon his lips. His eye flew upon in shock and he saw his student, his blonde student, kissing him with vigor.

On the inside, Naruto was dancing with glee, I wonder how far he'll let me go! Hmm...only one way to find out!

Without any warning, Naruto bit the man's lip with his sharp fangs. A small gasp escaped the man forcing his mouth open. Before he could close it, Naruto stuck his tounge into the hot cavern.

Naruto squeezed the man's obliques betweens his knees as he pressed in closer. One hand fisted against the black-cloth covered neck while the other hand buried itself in the thick silver hair. With a soft purr, the boy began to massage the teacher's tounge with his own wet organ.

Kakashi was really confused, but he nonetheless slipped one hand beneath Naruto's thigh and the other on the small of the back to support the teenager. An involentary moan escaped his mouth as the boy began to suck on his tounge.

A polite cough sounded behind Naruto. Kakashi snapped into reality to drop Naruto. The man was thankful the mask was still partly on to hide his blush from the other students. Sakura was pink from head to toe with embarrassment while a dark look entered the Uchiha's face. Both were holding bells.

Naruto looked extremely disappointed but not at all embarrassed. In fact, a small perverted smile crossed his face before he stood up to stand with his teammates.

Kakashi tried not to betray his usual thoughts but kept his sentences down to one word, "Report."

"Since my henge skills suck and I can't recreate the fire jutsu, Sakura-chan set a genjutsu on the field to make me look like Sasuke! Hell, even I thought I was Sasuke-teme for awhile! Then Sasuke-teme kindly relieved you of your bells while you were...uh...distracted," rattled of Naruto, an unrepentant smile still stuck on his face.

Before Kakashi could react, Sakura smacked Naruto on the upside on the head, "Don't you dare downplay your part. Naruto-baka came up with the plan and stood up to...distract you?"

"But Naruto-san didn't get a bell," stated Kakashi, setting his fellings aside to curiousity on how the graduates would react.

"Guess I'm going back then," Naruto sighed, "Aw, well. Can't say this time was wasted. Got to make out with two extremely hot guys in the span of forty-eight hours."

"No," was Sasuke's one word answer, but didn't elaborate.

After all, Sakura did it for both of them, "Sasuke-kun's right. You don't deserve to not become a gennin. If Kakashi-sensei can't see that, I don't want to be under his team."

At their replies, Kakashi smiled, which they could see, "I would be really stupid to let a team as gold as you to slip out of my grasp, and I'm not stupid," at their looks, the smirk became more pronounced, "Welcome to Team Seven!"

Naruto was first to react with a cheer. Laughing, he hugged his teammates in exuberance chattering how strong he was going to become and if anyone wanted to treat him to ramen?

Yep, Kyuubi mumbled, Will need brain bleach...

Omake:

Kakashi was exhausted. His new gennin team was tiring all because of the little blond bombshell that came on his team.

'But,' he mused, "It will defiantaly make life a little more interesting.'

Before he could go home and lie down, he first had to give his acceptance or failure to Iruka-san and the Hokage-sama. He trudged to the small building and open the door.

"YOSH!" a voice yelled as soon as the silver-haired man stepped in, "KAKASHI-SENSEI IS BACK IN YOUTHFUL HIPNESS! EVEN IF HE'S LATE, IT CANNOT DENY THE YOUTHFULNESS AROUND HIM!"

At the first word, Kakashi groaned, 'Aw, hell no!' and by the end of the yell, he was gathered into a bear hug. A sigh escaped him but he managed to say, "Yo, Gai-san."

Gai seperated and pointed to himself in green spandex glory, "Such a hip and youthful phrase! My youthful rival is so...youthful! I will run a hundred laps around Konoha as punishment!" With one last sparkle of teeth, the weird man took off.

"Kami-sama, I thought he never leave," a dark woman in the corner, Anko, sneered, "I was about to rip off the caterpillars he calls eyebrows straight off his face."

"So what happened to your team?" a bear of a man, Asuka, asked as he took a drag on his cigerette, "Team Ten passed, if only because their skills and the possiblity to work together. But they had to be retested at the log."

"Did Uchiha-san actually touch you?" Kurenai, the pretty, young, red-eye jounin eagerly asked, "Or did Uzumaki drag him down? Eight passed, the teamwork is phenomenal! But Kiba-kun did have to have the log treatment."

"Please," remarked Ebisu, still stung about Naruto, "Even the smartest girl in the class and the top rookie of the year could pull up the...dead-last. Kakashi-sensei had to sent them back."

Genma, the senbon-needle sucking jounin, inserted, "The Uchiha might had pull them up if he and the girl worked together if they did team up. But they probably did fail."

"They passed," Kakashi spoke up before they could go on the tangent about Naruto would pull teammates down if they did work together, "With flying colors."

A shocked silence desended over the jounins before Genma turned to Ebisu, "I told you so!"

Before the sunglasses barer could retort, Kurenai cut in, "Did Uchiha-san defeat you? Did Haruno-san use some sort of jutsu she memorized?"

Kakashi told them blandly, "Naruto-kun stuck his tounge down my throat." He swept to the office as the rest of the strong elite jounins froze in shock.

END

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