New chapter before the end of the month, yay! I thank god for spring break. I have a little SPN related story at the end if you wanna read it. (It has to do with SPN Con in Seattle (Bellevue)) Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! Leave a review please, it really encourages me to write. Constructive criticism is always welcome!
I stared at him.
"Y-you remember heaven?" I stammered out. He nodded solemnly. I rubbed my face before looking him in the eye again. Many thoughts ran through my head, most of them not all that pleasant. I had long since learned how to curb my tongue. Having a child had certainly helped me build up a filter.
"You seem troubled." Cas pointed out. Very observant, that one. Someone should give him gold star. I sighed.
"Yes Cas, I'm troubled. A better descriptor would be confused. Baffled. Puzzled."
"Discombobulated?" Cas cut in, adding another word that means 'confused' to my list. I huffed, unimpressed. "Why are you confused, Dean?"
"It doesn't matter why. What else do you remember?" Cas gave me a weird side look, one that I'd grown accustomed to over the years.
"I remember Heaven. I remember a small child, no older than three, I'd guess? I remember a house and voice. Male, kind of like yours, younger. I remember the child called me Papa?"
"You remember Nova?" I sat up at this, fully at attention now. He gave me that look again.
"Who's Nova?"
"Can I get you something to drink?" A voice interrupts. I looked up to see Patty, one of the waitresses that had served Nova and I since before Cas disappeared.
"I'll have my usual coffee, Patty." I responded kindly. She nodded before turning to Cas. She gave him a blank stared before her brow furrowed.
"Do I know you?" She asked, pointing her pen at Cas. He gave her an uncomfortable look.
"Probably, though I don't remember you." He responded bluntly.
"Cas, would you cut it out with the angel attitude, okay?" I snapped.
Cas's expression hardened into a carefully guarded expression that I hadn't liked before he left, and certainly didn't appreciate now. "Now, I may have no recollection of you or my relationship with you, but I don't believe in any existing world I would've tolerated you speaking to me the way you are now." He turned to Patty. "I'd like some water please."
"Coming right up," She said hesitating a brief moment, before walking away to begin their order.
I turned to Cas. "Forgive me for snapping at the man who walked out on his family. Yeah, you can't expect me to be pleased as pie about that Cas. The little girl you remember? He name is Nova. She's your daughter. She's eight now. That voice you remember, and that house? It's mine. It's our house. That's my voice. So if you wanna lecture me about my tone, then fine. Be my guest. But I want you to think about the consequences, and think about what you say before you say it, are we clear?"
Cas looked at me, shell shocked. I stared him down in the eye as I mulled over the bomb I had just dropped on him.
"I have a daughter?" He squeaked, penetrating blue opening up like a torrential downpour. I sighed. "Where is she? Who's been taking care of her? Wh-"
"Cas!" I stopped him short. "She's at school right now. I've been taking care of her because she's my daughter, too. Don't you get it?"
"Get what? How is she your daughter?" Cas looked defensive, as if he was going to tackle me if I said the wrong thing. I snapped.
"We're married, Cas!" I let out a frustrated sound as my head hit the table. I folded my arms and rested my head on them. I couldn't see Cas' face but I'm sure it's the same shocked expression from before. I didn't move my head when I spoke again.
"I know this is all crashing in on you, all of this information," I sat up and stared him down. "But you and I used to hunt monsters together, for many years. You are a fallen angel, quite literally. That's why you remember Heaven. After many years of hunting together, you and I settled down. After we got married we adopted a beautiful baby girl named Nova Amara Mary Winchester-Novak. You were around until she was three, when we took her to the aquarium. Then you disappeared. Nova and I have been on our own since then."
Cas was silent, trying to comprehend the information with steeply arched brows. I could tell he was trying to decide if I was telling the truth or not.
"Here are your drinks. Do you want your usual burger Dean?" Patty asked, appearing suddenly near my shoulder. I shook my head no.
"I'm not really hungry right now Patty, but thank you." She turned to Cas who also shook his head no.
"The little girl I sold ice cream to the other day, the one that was with you. Was that Nova?" he asked, not making eye contact with me, his glass being infinitely more interesting.
"Yes that was Nova. She knew it was you, by the way." Cas looked up at that.
"What do you mean by that, Dean?"
"I mean that she knew that you, Castiel, was her father. One of them at least. Just because you physically weren't there doesn't mean I let her forget you." I sipped my coffee. He nodded. I looked at the time. My lunch break ended in ten minutes. I had to get back. I turned to Cas.
"So we were married?" he asked.
"We technically still are. I don't remember divorcing you." I held up my left hand, showing off the worn silver band. Cas nodded and pulled a chain out of his shirt. On the chain was his matching ring, silver flashing in the sunlight. I felt my breath catch.
"You still have it," I managed to grit out, and judging by the way his eyes sloped down in the corners like a sad pup there was no hiding my devastation. There was a moment where we both just stared at each other. He nodded after a while.
"I knew it was important so I kept it. I knew I'd find out someday what my life was before the ice cream company. I never figured I'd be married to a guy though," he chuckled, before his face fell again. "Nor did I figure I'd have daughter waiting for me."
"Look Cas. I don't expect you to come back. This isn't your life anymore. Hell you don't even remember this life. But I'm willing to help you if this is something you want back. Not just to help you remember Nova and I, but also why you left in the first place."
"I'd like to remember very much, Dean." Cas smiled. I (embarrassingly) melted a little before composing myself.
"Okay. I have to go back to work, but I'll give you my number if you want."
"Sure." He slid over his phone. I picked it up and put in my number. I slid over my phone and he did the same. I got up, leaving enough to pay for the drinks.
We walked back to the shop in silence. I could tell Cas was in deep thought. We stopped in front of the shop and I turned to Cas.
"This is where I get off. Are you going to be okay? This is a lot of new information to handle. I wouldn't blame you if you're having a hard time with it." I asked worriedly. He nodded before responding.
"I'll be just fine, Dean. You go back to work. I need to go back as well. Thank you though. You've shined a light on a lot of things I couldn't see before. Maybe I'll start remembering things now." He smiled at me, a full, beautiful smile. I took in a shallow breath.
"I'm glad. I'll text you later, okay?" I said. He nodded as he began to walk away. He waved goodbye. I waved as well.
Cas POV
I walked away from Dean analyzing the new information in my head. I have a daughter? A husband? I'm an angel? That last bit was hard to chew, but I didn't say anything to Dean. I don't know why, but I believed wholeheartedly that he spoke nothing but the truth to me. I reached and opened my car, sliding into the driver's seat. I started the car and pulled out swiftly.
I drove along the road, quickly reaching the highway. After a short while I turned on the radio, listening to the guitar riff. A sharp pain suddenly hit my head, causing me to recoil and swerve slightly. I felt another and I quickly pulled over. I felt bile in my throat and quickly exited my car to unload the contents of my stomach in the foliage beside the road. The sharp pain throbbed again, bringing me to my knees. Suddenly pictures moved across my vision, some clear others fuzzy. I tried to pay attention to them but instead let out a shout of pain. God my head was about to explode.
I saw a little girl, the same from before. I saw Dean holding a small bundle and cooing to it softly. I saw a wedding cake and a tall person, much taller than me or Dean, slapping Dean on the back congratulating him. Dean's ring glinted in the light. I focused on this, hoping that it would ease the pain. Instead, I just blacked out.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Summer is coming, I might be able to post more. R&R please!
Now for my mini story:
So If you've ever been to an SPN con on a Friday (I got skip school because of *food poisoning*) they do Karaoke night. My twin sister and I signed up to sing and we got picked to go up. (We sang Rock 'n' Roll Band by Boston. I was also wearing a Boston t-shirt from when I went to their concert) It was so amazing! I got to hug, Rob Benedict (Chuck/God), Richard Speight Jr. (Gabriel/Trickster) Jim Beaver (Bobby), Julian Richings (Death), and Kathrine Ramdeen (Alex). All of them are such sweet people. Then I got a picture with Misha Collins (on Saturday) and I nearly died but that's okay I'm still here. Then on Sunday My sister and I went to go get our Louden Swain merch signed (Rob Benedict's band) and Rob recognized us from Saturday and then proceeded to tell the rest of the band about us. They wanted us to sing right there in the lobby but my sister and I decided not to. It was probably one of the best weekends of my life. If you read this thanks for reading my rant I just had to fangirl about it. Thanks for reading.
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