Yay! My favourite chapter! I don't know why it's my favourite but I think it's because I was planning for ages…I got the whole thing written down in short hand somewhere.

Chapter 19- A Dave Detector?!

Friday 7th July

10.30pm

Mutti said she'd patch Dave up. But I really don't know how she can 'patch' him up with two bandages and a cat poo. Because that was what was in the first aid box last time I looked. Even Libby wanted to help, she's found a toy nurse box from somewhere and insists she's 'Dockor LibLibs'.

"Libby…I don't think Dave needs Doctor Libby to help him,"

"Bad boy! Now takes your naaaiiice medicine,"

Poor Dave. I think he's going to be in an even worst state by the time Libby's finished with him.

2 minutes later

In the end I managed to distract Libby by telling her that Angus needed brain surgery. He'll come to forgive me. One day.

6 minutes later

Hell's Bells. And Wow. Mutti actually said Dave could stay over because he looks 'beaten to death'. But he doesn't to me. He looks more like a plaster and bandage monster from the deep.

2 minutes later

Where did all those plasters come from?

5 minutes later

But anyway, the nub and gist of it is that Mum's going to set up the old camp bed in my room. Which is where the 'hell's bells' bit comes from. Normally, I'm not trusted to be alone in my room with a boy for five minutes. Let alone a night. Oo-er.

6 minutes later

I can't believe he saved me like that. Vair vair brave. Stupid, but brave. He could have got himself killed. I can't imagine Masimo doing that. He'll be too bothered about mucking up his hair.

How could I ever doubt my deep luuurrvosity for Dave? He's just sitting on my bed next to me, watching me write. He is vair vair gorgeous.

"Is that your diary, Kittykat?"

Uh-Oh, he's grinning. Stop grinning like a mad grinning thing! It's private.

"Can I read it?"

Don't look at me like that. Puppy dog eyes. With a black eye.

"Nnnuggh"

He smirked, "I'll take that as a yes,"

20 minutes later

I am so humiliated.

1 minute later

He took my diary off me and read it! It was so embarrassing. I could have died.

He flicked through until he found the Roller-skating and Massage bit.

He said, "Is there a lot about me in there then?"

Well you could say that.

He grinned again, "It's like reading, 'This is your Life', or something,"

Then he turned the pages and he got to the bit where he pushed me in the bush and gave me the Dave Detector, "Oh, I've got to read this bit, was I good?"

Cheeky Cat.

Then he looked at me and said, "Fangs, Gee? I'll have to remember that," Oh the Shame!

Then he flicked through again, "Masimo drivel, Masimo drivel, oh! What's this, 'Stupid Dave. Why does he keep popping up. Oo-er' ?"

I could have quite easily jumped out of my bedroom window. But I didn't.

He smirked, "Don't flatter yourself, love,"

It's not my fault that I was taken over by red bottomosity and joie de watsit at the time was it?

"Masimo, Masimo, Ah! The Party,"

I looked over to see which bit he was reading, it was the daisy fiasco.

"That was very embarrassing, Dave"

He winked. "Shouldn't have come as a daisy…You've written down when I was drunk… I need to read this because I know I said something, but I can't remember what- Oh, I'm sorry I threw up on you, guess I needed the pea and carrot department,"

Nice imagery.

"Oh, I made a big long speechy thing, ok, I'll read it out again, hem, hem, I do! I do! I'm always telling you but you don't believe me! Or maybe you do and you're just messing me about! I don't know! But I DO love you! You're all I ever think about! You're the only one I want! I always want to be there for you! I've tried to leave you alone but I can't! I CAN'T! But all you care about are your luuurrve Gods and your sex Gods! But you never think you're my Luuurrve Goddess? You go on about Jelloidosity but don't you think you make me jelloid? I'm always there for you Gee, when you're crying and I'm helping you get the guys that are taking you from ME! How do you think that makes me feel? Can't you see that they're just interested in playing the field when all I want is you? Can't you see that they don't really care about you but every time you tell me you've kis- Gee are you Ok?"

I don't know why but hearing that speech again made me want to blub. It made me feel really bad for thinking of Masimo when me and Dave were going out.

He put his arm around me and said, "Heeey, it's ok,"

"I just…don't like hearing it,"

"Don't you think that I realised that from all the other times I tried to tell you?" but he smiled, "Anyway, I thought I'd said something A LOT worse…well worse for me,"

I wonder what? Maybe it's what those funny looks were about?

He carried on going through the diary, laughing every so often, "Seriously Gee, you should get this published- Wait!? Rosie's pregnant!?"

I said, "Yup,"

"Wow. Sooo, it was her idea the watsit called…Learn Dave-a-go-go speak?"

"Uh-huh,"

He shook his head like a disbelieving thing on disbelivinosity tablets, "What you girls think about…"

I plucked up all my couragosity and said, "Why did you go in a strop at MacUseless though?"

"I thought you were messing me about again and…err…I like to be in charge of our secret snogs,"

Oo-er. Though they're not so secret anymore.

"I did not jump 50 feet! And I only knocked a bit of scenery on top of myself,"

"Yes, if you call the entire lot of the castle scenery a bit,"

He changed the subject quickly.

"Oo-er, as you would say, the storeroom bit, I'll read this out – 'When we were in the store cupboard he turned around to me. Uh oh, his face was Dave the Unlaughish. 'Georgia, why-' And I snogged him! I snogged him not him snogging me! I did the snog attack! Me, Georgia Nicholson! I speaky the lingo of the Dave! I even nip libbled him- What's with all this nip libbling?-. I was being him! And he was still being me, I could feel him go jelloid, like I do! I made him go jelloid. Hahahahaha! I feel a bit mad- Kittykat, you ARE mad- Now for the piêce de resistance. I moved to his neck. I neck nuzzled first, because I am sex kitty after all. Then I did it. What did he do? It was bite then suck wasn't it? –Do you have any idea how bad that sounds to a rudey dudey mind like mine?- After I'd finished I looked at him like he looked at me when he pushed me into the bush and then poked his lips and said, 'You are my Dave the Laugh and don't forget it,' Then he realised what I'd done. It was vair vair funny, his eyes went all wide and his hand shot to his neck like a shooty thing. Hahahaha. I think I've completely shocked the watsit and rocked the boat. 'Gee…you haven't…' 'Wear it proudly, Dave,' and I walked off. I am a red bottomed minx. With my Dave Detector,"

Then he looked at me like I was mad.

"A Dave Detector?!"

Uh-oh, "Um…errr…it's err…a you know…luuurrve bite,"

Gott in Himmel, I turned into Ellen.

He laughed, "What goes through your head?"

You don't want to know, Mr. Laughylaugh.

Then he looked straight into my eyes. With that nice-but-naughty, pre-snogging look.

He said, "Shame it's faded,"

Then he did it again! He went straight for my neck again, the front part like he'd said he would ages ago. Luckily I wasn't thinking about fangs this time because I would have batty again. ARGH!! Brain! Shut up! Hahahahaha. I am going mad. I knew exactly what he was doing this time but I didn't stop him because I felt sorry for him getting beaten up, and I loved him and…it's was quite fabby.

8 minutes later

Mutti suddenly burst into my room and me and Dave jumped apart like jumping things at a jumping shop. He is vair quick for an injured person. Mutti's nungas are not small. If one of us had been stood near the door we could have been very easily knocked out.

She said, "I can't find the camp bed, I think Uncle Eddie's still got it,"

And I said, helpfully, "Oh, that's ok, he can share with me,"

And they both looked at me.

Then I realised how that must have sounded. Even Dave looked shocked.

I said, "Err…I mean,"

And Mutti sighed and said, "Well, I suppose you are nearly grown up and as long as there is no business in that department,"

And she gave both me and Dave a 'the birds and the bees' talk. I was mortified.

I went off to the bathroom pretty sharpish to cleanse, tone and moisturise.

10 minutes later

"KittyKat are you finished in the bathroom yet?"

Half an hour later

"Gee?!"

Midnight

I don't think boys quite understand that girls need and hour or so in the bathroom to make sure we look nice the next day. We do it all for them. They only take about five minutes. It's ridiculous.

5 minutes later

See I told you, only five minutes. All he's done is have a shower, he hasn't even taken off all his drag queen slap.

He winked and said "Hey, Kittykat," and sat in the bed down next to me.

I said, "Dave, you haven't taken your make up off,"

He said, "Am I supposed to?"

"Well, yes if you don't want me to dump you for being Spotty Norman's look alike,"

I got a facial wipe out of the packet and helped him take it off. He'd be vair vair lost without me. Like a lost thing in the Lost Lands.

2 minutes later

Gott in Himmel, how much foundation did I put on him?

6 minutes later

He's looking at me like a looking eye dog. It's very distracting. Then he kissed me.

1am

Blimey O'Reily's Trousers and naff cardigan! Me and Dave nearly got up to number 10.

3 minutes later

We were snogging for ages and then somehow we ended up lying down. I can't really remember much. I was thinking, 'Yessss, I'll be back up the top of the snogging scale again,' but I was vair vair nervy and on the edge of a F.T.

But when he started pulling down my Jimmy Jams bottoms I said, "I don't think I'm ready,"

Why did I say that? I need to get to the top of the snogging scale! I'm gang leader and everyone's beating me!

Then I thought, oh Giddy God, have I just ruined everything? Because everyone says the 'bees' are just interested in one thing.

I said, "I'm sorry,"

Then he said, "No, no, it's ok, I…don't think I'm ready yet, I was only doing it because you said you were upset about your mates beating you on the snogging scale,"

He is so nice. And that is why I love him. Lots and lots and lots.

2.30am

"Gingey! Davey! It's meee!"

And Libby strolled into my room with her entire army of toys.

I said, "Libby, can you go back to boboland in your room?"

And she hit me, "Move over Bad Boy!" and she sat in the middle of Dave and me.

I bet Mutti sent her in to keep an eye on us.

She just kept looking at Dave then looking at me saying "Naaaiiice, Naaaiiice," like she did when Jas was over.

Yay! I was so looking forward to writing the diary-reading scene.

I know the end was a bit iffy and I went a bit back on my word on not writing higher than 7 or 8. But A) they didn't actually do anything in the end and b) I meant I won't write it graphically. Because believe me, when I was doing my random-page-number-close-eyes-and-click-on-random-fanfiction on final fantasy 7 I got pretty scared what some people have wrote.