I swear, I'm alive!! Thank you all so much for being so patient with me! My computer died, then there was finals but now I have finally given you another chapter! Yay me!! I'd like to thank TheDishonestTruth, silverharpie17, SlashnYaoi, Ckarrine, LikeYourWork, DarkRavie, keruki, Ichihime, The Elven-Spear, Yami Ryo, OtakuDolly, DarkFire Ruby, Rei Tamashii, Marevas, red-crecent-moon, and 7sins7lies for their awesome reviews! I'm sorry for making everyone wait so long!! Hope you enjoy!
START
A happy smile curled all the way to the corners of a fake-blonde head. His smile shrunk to form puckered lips in order to whistle a random merry tune, as the ninja skipped down to the bridge for his team's first mission, I'm so excited! I can't wait until I get there! We could go to exotic places, see new animals to convince to come back, breed new plants, and meet hot guys! Yes!
I wonder if you're happy? a rather put-out Demon that was trapped inside of the boy wondered sarcastically, Because I can't tell over your squeals.
Stop teasing him. You're just jealous he cares more about his human life than spending his time to focus on you, the other being trapped within the boy, Kami, told him off with a scolding glare.
Halfway through a pout/sulk fit, Kyuubi had a change of heart and smirked evilly, Don't worry your pretty little head over it. You're the only one I'll be jealous over!
Naruto ignored the much too happy snickers from Kyuubi and a heavy blush from Kami for the sake of his own sanity, My first mission! My very first mission ever! Ohmigosh! Yosh! This is going to be so much fun!"
Might I remind you that you just passed the bell test YESTERDAY? And that it was you babying your teammates all the way and pulling wool over your teacher's eyes! scolded Kami.
Does it look like I care? the shinobi pertly questioned, BECAUSE I'M SO HAPPY WE GOT A MISSION!
Kami tried to calm the boy down with reason but was forced to give up in mere minutes. Naruto was frankly much too excited to listen to the God's worries. Sighing, Kami turned his quivering eyes to Kyuubi and asked, Will you make him listen to me?
Unknown to Kami, Kyuubi was forced to blush as he saw those dark green eyes stare pleadingly up to him. His own red eyes (that Naruto had gotten after Kami bridged the gap between them) went from those beautiful eyes, to the supple pink lips practically begging for a kiss, to the had and taut muscles on the god's chest, and to...Well, he forced himself to think instead, You do realize the full moon is tonight, kit?
I...know...the winds went out of Naruto's sails so fast, both Kami and Kyuubi winced.
Kami turned to Kyuubi to inform him, I take it back, he doesn't have to listen to me.
Kyuubi thought quickly so he didn't seem like a sorry ass to Kami, Uhm, so...you'll be able to see your friends? And you have a mission? Yes, kit will do so well on it! Completely outshining the rest with his superiority! Kyuubi began to preen as if it was himself who was going to do so well.
As quickly as his bad mood came, Naruto became happy yet again, Yosh! I'm going to do well! You'll be proud of me!
You make it sound like we're...what did you call it? -parents!... connected Kami, smiling proudly and oblivious to Kyuubi's sudden stiffening.
Naruto smiled, at the naive question and spotting Sakura-chan, Of course you are Mommy!
Awww! said a very blissful Kami. Then he rethought his reaction after Kyuubi burst out laughing. Paling, he finally recognized the human term, Naruto, I am NOT a female!
"Ohayo Sakura-chan! Ready for our mission?" greeted Naruto as he inwardly cheekily told Kami, Sure, you keep telling yourself that.
Sakura gave a small smile back, unaware of the howling (both humorous and vengeful) in her teammate's head, "Ohayo Naruto...uhm...kun. Yes, I'm ready. I brought rations, weapons, an extra change of clothes, another hair tie, a brush, a miniature makeup kit, a first-aid kit, a small gift to give to Sasuke-kun once he accepts my love, and some jewelry just in case."
Turning, the kunoichi smiled where she thought Naruto was walking with her. However, the girl was forced to twist around to see Naruto shut his mouth sharply from his gape and snappishly ask, "What the HELL do you need all of those...things for!"
"A shinobi will always be prepared for what lies ahead!" bristled Sakura. Her inner persona added for her And I'm completely ready for when Sasuke-kun decides I'm the only one for him!
"All that means is the weapons and the first-aid!" Naruto howled as he ran to catch up to a slightly fuming Sakura, "None of all that other crap!"
Sakura glared at the poor soul, "Well, girls have much more necessity than men!"
Naruto forced himself not to roll his eyes as he questioned, "Which is why you need all that junk? One set of clothes is enough!"
"If you want to smell like a pig!" a shocked Sakura shrieked, "I don't want Sasuke-kun to wrinkle his cute nose at me!"
He does that anyway, mumbled Kyuubi which caused Naruto to barely repress a grin as he tartly informed the girl, "But you don't need make-up or jewelry or a gift for the teme! That's just...stupid! Sasuke-teme wouldn't even like that sort of thing!"
Sakura's face twisted into an ugly expression between sadness and anger, "And what made you an expert on Sasuke-kun!"
Naruto looked over his shoulder to subtlety make sure he had enough room to run then smirk at her, "I don't see your lips anywhere near his! He had his entire tonuge in my mouth!"
With that said, it is needless to explain that Naruto was forced to fly across the fields to avoid being murdered by a homicidal woman. Running as hard as he possibly could, he couldn't even risk a glance backwards.
Serves you right, Kami frowned, Goading her like that. Do you have an ounce a brain in here? No wait, never mind, I hear an echo.
Aw, I think I'm rubbing off on you, Kyuubi smiled, You've got my wit!
I think...you mean...stupidity, Naruto gasped, sighting the bridge and a dark figure, Can't...talk...now! Trying to...save my...skin!
Hearing screeching not too far away, Uchiha Sasuke tensed to be ready to run from fangirls. Turning, he was granted with the strange sight of Sakura chasing after a fearful Naruto, the latter crying out, "Hide me! Save me, Sasuke-teme!"
"Don't call me bastard if your going to use me as a shield!" snarled Sasuke even as the orange ball of energy ran around to put the dark boy between himself and the pink girl, "Dobe! Get off of me now!"
Thatwas the sight Kakashi was granted when he arrived an hour later was the two childish ninjas were still running around the increasingly irate teammate, one yelling, "HOLD STILL AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN DAMMIT!" and, "I WANT TO LIVE!"
Kakashi blinked and wondered if all the other gennin teams were like this. After all, just yesterday he was greeted with singing...Kakashi decided he didn't want to know so he just blandly said, "Yo."
Both of the gennin energetically running around whipped towards the sensei to scream, "YOU'RE LATE!" with Naruto tacking on smugly, "No wonder only the boys kiss you!"
Sasuke merely released a grateful, "Hn." but still glared at his teacher out of jealously as he heard Naruto tactlessly boast about that kiss.
Their teacher shivered from the amosity but still produced an eye wrinkle to show off his covered up grin, "Well, hurry up! Do you want a mission or not?"
The orange ball of energy leaped up, previous emotions forgotten in the excitement of the mission, "Come on, come on, come on! Get your fat asses up and moving! What if ojii-san doesn't have any missions left?!"
"My ass isn't fat..." indignantly muttered Sakura, but she nonetheless followed Naruto. Sasuke stuffed his hands into his pockets to also follow the very outgoing teammate. Kakashi looked rather bemused but nonetheless started to read his small orange book while trailing after the ragtag team.
"Jiji-san!" called out a highly triumphant Naruto as he burst into the office, "You're giving us our mission! Come on! Give it!"
Before the esteemed Hokage opened his mouth to give the young whippersnapper the proper scolding, a familiar warm voice cut in, "Now, Naruto! You may be here but your team isn't. Let's give it a moment, hmmm?"
"IRUKA-SENSEI!" Naruto practically screamed as he vaulted himself over the desk separating him from his beloved teacher, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be teaching? Oh god, you got fired because of me, didn't you? I'm so sorry! I wasn't trying to get you laid off, I swear!"
"Naruto, please calm down. This is just another duty I have to perform as chunin," Iruka said, as he expertly wiggled his hands through the vice-like grip the boy had around his neck, "Besides, don't you know it's Saturday?"
The child sweat dropped as his inner beings roared with laughter at his expense. A pout made his way on his face as he heard his other precious people laughing as well, What is this, Pick On Naruto Day?
Kyuubi had a smirk on his face as he said over Kami's chuckles, No it's Let's-All-Point-And-Laugh-When-Naruto-Says-Something-REALLY-Stupid-Day!
As the two ethereal beings cracked up and the two humans calmed down, the rest of the team walked in. Sakura and Sasuke glared at Naruto or Iruka respectively while Kakashi had a lecherous grin on his face, obvious even through the mask, "You sure get around, Naruto-kun! Already on Iruka-sensei's lap!"
The boy's grin went from happy to sultry in a moment. He rubbed against his immobile sensei as he purred, "Well, I did hear that incest is hot this year…"
The brown-haired teacher decided to ignore the perverted blonde to glare up at the main source of his problems, "You're late."
"I know," practically beamed Kakashi, "But all accusations can be saved for later. My team needs a D-ranked mission."
Iruka growled out, "I'm sure your team does, you perverted (edited out once again)."
Both of Naruto's teammates' mouths dropped in utter shock. When had their brilliant, kind, and soft-spoken teacher become the version of…of…an adult Naruto! Sakura glanced towards Sasuke to figure out what she should do. But Sasuke had already looked away to their teacher, whose mask had to stretch in order to cover his shit-eating grin.
The Hokage himself seemed on the verge of hysterical laughter, "Iruka-sensei, you may do well to remember some of your other students are present and can hear you much too clearly. Please watch your language."
Iruka blushed a tomato-red before burying his face into Naruto's soft blonde hair and mumbling an apology. Naruto smiled at the contact and purred, his tail softly wagging so his teacher wouldn't notice it.
Barely smothering his giggles, Saratoubi ordered, "Uzumaki, get off of Iruka-san before I revoke the mission before I even give it to the team!" The powerful man could barely hide his smile as his favorite gaki jumped and stood in attention by his team, sweating bullets, "Thank you, Naruto-kun. Now, a D-mission right?"
At Kakashi's nod, Iruka handed over a scroll. Naruto started to shiver in excitement, ignoring all personas, inside or outside his body, My first mission, it's going to be the best mission ever!!
THIS IS THE WORST MISSION EVER!! bemoaned Naruto, trying his best not to cry from his sheer boredom. His dream mission was to rescue a beautiful damsel (actually he preferred to save the dashing prince but declaring that would just make the bigots in the village hate him more) or escort a beautiful princess (same) but instead the poor helpless ninja has to save…a freakin' house cat!
Well, since he IS a forest god partly, Naruto didn't really have anything against cats…he's just irate that humans had the nerve to "domesticate" them.
Kyuubi and Kami ignored him, already deeming the "mission" below their tastes and have gotten into another arguement over the importance of foxes in the eco-system of Kami's forest.
Hunched behind a few convenient bushes, the ninja cried into the make-shift headset, "This mission is bull! Why do we have to do this?!"
"Shut up dobe," Sasuke snapped, already irate, "Stick to the plan."
Sakura hissed into her own mike, "If you screw up our first mission, you'll be BELOW six feet under, got it?"
"This PLAN is bullshit too! We could do better just jumping out and yelling 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty!'" argued Naruto, ignoring the blatent amount of utter killing intent pouring out of his teammates' hiding places.
Sasuke bit back a feral growl to scoff, "Dobe, I'd like to see you try."
"Really? Alright!" grinned Naruto, already taking a stance in the clearing.
"Wait!" despertly cried Sakura, "We've got to stick to the plan! Dumbass, stop-!"
"HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY! COME OUT, COME OUT WHERE EVER YOU ARE!" Naruto yelled, causing everyone to stop arguing and cover their poor abused ears.
"NARUTO!" screamed Sakura, deadset on giving him the same pain he had cause when she cut herself off to stare at the clearing.
Sauntering up to the boy was a sleek tabby, looking like he just captured the canary dunked in cream. Wounding himself around the boy's legs, he purred, Yes? What do you want me to do, Kami-sama?
"Are you Tou-chan?" asked Naruto, not willing to speak the animal's language in the presence of his awed but evesdropping team.
Before he could answer, a persian trotted down the beaten trail, Did you call, Kami-sama?
Kami-sama, I'm here! cried a blue russian kitten.
Wazz goin' on? slurred a beaten tom with a torned ear.
A sleek fat cat came without even greeting the shocked god.
Kami-sama, Kami-sama, Kami-sama!
Naruto could only watch in horror as the clearing filled with cats, young and old, domesticated and wild, all here from his call. They covered the ground, climbed the trees, all waiting for his orders. At his lack of answer, the cats' nature of superiorty became primary to them as they began to argue with howling voices on who is the best...
Kami looked at the cat zoo and asked brightly, So, what did we learn from all this?
"NARUTO!" screamed Sakura.
The ninja's eyes widened and dived in the frey to find 'Tou-chan', Sakura-chan is scary!!
END
Again, sorry for the wait!
Reviews will feed my soul! THANKS!
