Chapter 6: I'll Want to Die Too
The sounds of running feet and shouting awoke Rey early one morning. Stumbling out of her chambers in nothing but a bathrobe and slippers, she followed the stampede and commotion to the main hangar bay to see what was going on.
The main blast doors were wide open, letting it light from Tatooine's harsh twin suns. Backlit in this environment was a group of Resistance fighters, holding a prisoner in ion cuffs. Strides away from them, Poe Dameron stood, looking bewildered and yet also triumphant, as if a rather unexpected Christmas present had fallen into his lap.
"Shall we take him to the brig, Commander?" one of the soldiers asked.
"No," Poe grinned. "I say we execute him immediately. Ready a firing squad. We'll do it outside - can't have blood staining the floors."
Moving closer, Rey could finally get a good look at the prisoner. When she did, her heart nearly stopped. She would know that face anywhere.
"BEN!" And she rushed forward from the crowd before anyone could stop her, pushing past Poe and flinging herself to her knees, throwing her arms around her lover's neck.
Everyone froze, absolutely stunned that the Last Jedi was showing such... kindness to the Supreme Leader. Poe took a step back, his blaster out, eyes narrowing at the sight. Rey held his gaze, her arms not leaving Ben's.
"If you kill him, you'll have to kill me too!" she vowed. Her voice was deadly serious, and she knew that if Ben were to die, their Bond would likely be torn asunder, leaving her incomplete and weak. She would want to die, too. And probably would die, anyway, without Ben to balance her in the Force.
"Rey... stand back," Poe ordered.
"I WON'T!" she yelled. "I love him, Commander."
Poe nearly dropped his blaster. His eyes narrowed further, and Rey could almost see the puzzle pieces click into place. "The father," he guessed correctly, loud enough for all to hear. Cries of astonishment and horror went up as the rest of the Resistance started gossiping amongst themselves.
In the confusion, Rey suddenly called on the Force. Poe's blaster flew into her waiting hand and she promptly stuck its barrell up the roof of her mouth. Poe launched forward, hands out, pleading with her to stop. Shrieks of terror went up from everyone else.
But Rey did not move. She locked eyes with Ben, and silently communicated her wishes to him through the Bond. Even in his weakened state, Ben acted as interpreter.
"She says that she will kill herself and her child unless I am allowed to remain with them alive, unharmed... and unpunished."
Shouts of anger and protest went up from everyone. Poe blinked and peered at Ben. "How can you...?" For Rey very clearly could not have spoken to Ben, not with a mouth full of blaster.
"We can communicate each other's thoughts through the Force Bond we share," Ben explains. "And those are her wishes."
Poe's face gradually turned from red to a dark purple. He stomped his foot in frustration. He was the Commander; nobody should be able to checkmate him and get away with it. But he was boxed in... and Rey and Ben both knew it.
"Agreed," the pilot finally got out through gritted teeth. "What are your exact terms, Master Jedi?"
Rey's terms were exactly what she had laid out. Ben was to live with her and the baby in her chambers. He was to be unharmed, and any Resistance fighter who laid a hand on him was to be thoroughly investigated and court-martialed immediately. Ben Solo was to be treated as a refugee, not as a political prisoner. He was to receive no punishment. And no one beyond the base was to know the former Supreme Leader was present there.
For Ben was the former Supreme Leader. Armitage Hux and the Knights of Ren had overthrown him in a violent coup - one from which Ben barely escaped with his life.
As the last months of Rey's pregnancy passed, she and Ben both prepared for the baby. Ben was very gentle with both of his girls, even showering with Rey and bathing her when it became too painful for her to reach down and scrub certain areas herself.
"Hmmm," Rey would purr in delight, enjoying Ben's attentions as his hands would cradle her baby bump, as he would plant kisses along the soft curve of her neck. "Admit it: you've been pining for me." This quickly became a regular tease between them.
Ben would only chuckle: a deep, melodious sound. "I have not been pining." But his eyes, so deep and beautiful, would twinkle, betraying his true feelings.
When not alone together in her chambers, Ben helped the rest of the Resistance fight the First Order. In the first few weeks, many fighters gave him sideways glares, while others looked terrified to be in his proximity, as if afraid he might turn on them unawares. But overtime, Ben gained the trust of every single person on the base. Even Poe Dameron himself eventually granted Ben his respect.
Much of the work was to rebuild the Resistance so they could reasonably lead an assault against the First Order. Great progress was being made, but Poe was nevertheless antsy. Some days, he would stand on the desert plains of Tatooine, watching the skies and wishing he could lead an attack right this very moment. He was getting cabin fever in the extreme, and longed to be back in his X-Wing. He vented his frustrations to Rey one day, as she took walking laps around the base in the hopes she could induce labor, her stomach protruding out to her feet.
"I have half a mind to just hop in the first thing that flies and run down these bastards myself if I have to! I'm getting out, Rey!"
"Oh, Poe, don't say things like that!" Rey chided. "You know we'd all miss you."
"I can't stay here much longer, Rey! I'm ready to get off this planet!"
The next day, Poe was awoken rudely by Finn banging on his door. The former Stormtrooper had barely gasped out that Rey's water had broken and that she was in labor before Poe was sprinting to the med ward after his friend, rounding up Rose Tico on the way.
The birthing took many hours. Poe and Finn held both Rey's hands as she rested her head in Ben's lap. Rose would coach Rey on when to start pushing.
Into the evening, Rey at last gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She and Ben, the proud parents, fell instantly in love. Their friends watched on with deep, bursting pride. Not a single one of them could say they were not happy for the little family.
All at once, Lieutenant Connix stumbled into the hospital room, panting. "Commander! The First Order has entered Tatooine airspace! We're under attack!"
Ben's face went white, making it clear to anyone who might harbor any suspicions or doubt about his loyalty that he had nothing to do with the assault. "No... no, no!"
Poe sprang into panicked action. "Evacuate immediately, Lieutenant! Everyone, to the ships!"
The base came as alive as a buzzing hive, with pilots and technicians running this way and that, making for the main hangar bay and firing up anything that could get airborne. All the while, the First Order began dropping bombs around the base. The walls shook with their impact.
Pretty soon, Rose, Finn, Poe, Ben, Rey and the baby were the only ones left in the base. Rose now came dashing back from where she had checked the hangar.
"There's only one light freighter left, Commander! Everyone is gone!"
Poe snapped his eyes to Rey, still in the bed with the baby nursing at her breast. He glanced at Ben. "Can you carry her?"
Ben's cheeks were pale. "I can try." But the look on his face made it clear he did not think that was the safest idea.
But Rey frantically shook her head. "You all go. Leave me!"
"Never!" Ben thundered, squeezing her hand like a vice as his voice came out in a deadly hiss.
Rey began to sob as another blast rocked the base. "Ben, you have to go! Take our child! Take our child! Please... just take care of our family, Ben."
"We intend to - whole family!" Poe growled with determination, clasping a hand in Rey's. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the young Solo look to him with something resembling gratitude.
"I won't leave without you, Rey! I am NOT going to lose you again!" Ben vowed to his love.
"Guys..." Finn said nervously. "We're running out of time..."
Poe made a quick and painful decision. "How many can fit on the freighter?" he demanded of Rose.
"Three," she whispered. "But we could force Rey and Ben on, it would be tight..."
Poe's brain whirred one last time, desperately trying to find an alternative. At last, he said to Rey:
"Give us the child. Rose and Finn and I will take her. We won't let anything happen to her."
Rey gulped back a grateful sob and nodded. "May the Force be with you all." Then, her gaze fell to the little bundle nestled in her embrace. Her face betrayed the tenderest of smiles.
"I love you, little one. Goodbye, Kira." She kissed the baby's forehead sweetly. Then, in the biggest act of trust she had ever displayed, she handed the bundle to Poe. "Call her Kira. Let no harm come to her."
"She'll be safe with us, I promise," Poe vowed. The trio fled as Rey let out heaving, wracking sobs in Ben's arms.
The bombs were getting closer. Somewhere near, Ben could sense a battering ram being used to break down the base's main entrance. Soon, shouts could be heard, running feet as First Order troopers took the base. Soon, they would invade the med ward.
"This is it, my love," Ben murmured. He squeezed her hand. "Thank you for giving my life meaning again."
Rey held his gaze bravely. "Kiss me," she whispered.
Ben's lips descended fiercely on hers. As they kissed, First Order troopers burst into the hospital room and shot the couple on sight.
"Come on!" Poe called as he sprinted into the hangar bay, baby Kira wailing in his arms. As he and Finn and Rose sprinted across the wide empty expanse towards the last remaining freighter, a battalion of Stormtroopers began pouring in.
Finn thought fast. "Poe! Give the baby to me! Go fire up the ship!" Poe obeyed, passing Kira off and racing up the gangplank ramp. The stormtroopers opened fire, and Rose returned it with a blaster from her hip, giving Poe the cover he needed. When a small strike force of about six Stormtroopers advanced on Finn, he whipped out a vibroblade and began hacking at his former comrades. From all sides, he slashed and swiped, deflecting every blaster bolt and parrying every electric Z6 riot control baton. All the while, he kept a crying Kira close to his chest, making sure absolutely nothing hostile touched her.
But even Finn knew he could not keep this up forever and hope to get Kira away unscathed. Dispatching the six Troopers, he spun around and passed Kira off to Rose, giving his girlfriend a peck on the lips. "Get her onboard NOW!"
Rose scampered off with the baby, as Finn continued to hold off another strike wave of troopers. By now, Poe had fired up the engines and was firing the laser cannons at the rest of the battalion, keeping them cornered against the hangar entrance. Finn finally leaped onto the gangplank as the freighter began to take off.
"Hold onto your hats, ladies and gentlemen!" Poe warned. "This is not going to be pretty!"
And gunning the thrusters, the freighter shot out of the hangar, slicing a hole through the battalion. They were barely out of Tatooine's atmosphere before Poe made the jump to hyperspace.
Ben did not know how much time had passed when he regained consciousness. He could feel the sting of several blaster bolts inside his body. In the dim light, he was horrified to find his body caked with blood. Even more unnerving was how he did not know which splatters belonged to him and which belonged to...
With a growling heave, he lifted himself up into a sitting position, then a kneeling one. Peering over the side of the hospital gurney, he saw the woman whom he considered his wife lying prone amongst the white sheets now stained in dark reds and even blacks. Rey was unresponsive. Ben reached out to the Force to feel her signature that could light up both of Tatooine's suns, so beautiful and blinding it was. He found...
Nothing.
It was as though thousands of scalpels were digging, ripping into his chest, as they excavated his heart and any semblance of humanity and goodness he had left. Rey had been the goodness in him, and now it had been violently extinguished.
Weeping bitterly, Ben bent over Rey and kissed her lips again and again, his tears deluging her upturned face. He pleaded with her to awaken, but she did not stir. Every kiss from Ben was harder, more desperate. "It's... it's me..." he begged her to stay with him.
Amazingly, the base was quiet. Surely the First Order would have just kept command of a prized outpost? But no, the deserted, chilling calm told Ben, as did the Force, that the First Order had left him and Rey for dead, probably fleeing to chase down the rest of the Resistance that had managed to get away.
Suddenly, a new, familiar presence invaded the base, sprinting down the halls. It was not long before Ben could hear a voice calling his name, and Rey's. Then -
Poe Dameron himself burst in. He nearly slipped in the blood and gore as his feet came to a sudden halt, the inertia almost making him take a spill. His eyes bugged out in horror as he took in the sight.
"Ben? You're alive? Can you...?"
Ben tried to stand, but the muscles in his legs gave out from under him, refusing to cooperate. Poe rushed forward and caught him; with little thought, the Commander hoisted the Supreme Leader over his back like the latter was a sack of potatoes.
"How... how are you still here?" Ben wheezed.
"I came back for you, hoping I could pull off a rescue."
Ben scoffed. "You're an idiot, Poe Dameron."
"I'm also saving your life, so shut up!" the pilot snapped. But Ben could see his eyes twinkling, even in the dim light. Then, Poe approached Rey. "Is she...?"
"She's gone," Ben moaned.
Poe gathered up Rey's form, bridal-style, anyway.
"All right, Dameron," Ben growled. "Get us out of here!"
It turned out that Poe had immediately turned the final freighter around after dropping off Finn and Rose on the Falcon in deep space. The craft he commanded, with Ben attended to by a medical droid in the back, was a rickety one. It barely made the trip back to the fleet on its last gasps, having clearly seen better days. Poe and a healed Ben clambered aboard the Falcon and joined their friends, leaving the worn-out freighter that saved them to float to its destruction amongst the stars.
Now, Chewie was piloting his prized ship, with Poe, Finn and Rose gathered around Ben in the private quarters, watching as he tried to feed a squawking and wailing baby Kira before lulling her to sleep. Poe observed it all with a crestfallen expression, his eyes heavy with dark circles under them.
"It isn't supposed to be like this..." he murmurs. "She needs her mother's milk..."
Ben let out a tired huff. "Well, we don't have that option, Poe." The Commander startled at being addressed only by his first name by the former Supreme Leader.
Ben finally managed to get Kira to eat something, and then just sat on the edge of the bed and rocked her slowly, the steady hum and sway of the Falcon assisting in getting Kira to fall into a deep sleep. That task done, Ben rose and passed the swaddled bundle off to Rose, the baby's godmother, per Rey's wishes.
"I'm... going to go check on Chewie. Here. I think my child will do better in someone else's arms for now." And he staggered up towards the cockpit. Finn saw the growing redness around his eyes, the wobble in his throat, and understood. Ben needed to grieve. Slinging an arm over Rose's shoulders, he watched as she softly bounced Kira, to keep the tiny creature asleep.
Somehow, they would all have to go on.
The deep winds whistled along the grassy island plains of Ahch-To, whereupon the crest of one hill, Rey - the Last Jedi - was laid to rest in an ostentatious grave site. Her body had been meticulously clean, and she was dressed in her favorite Jakku outfit. Her hair fanned out around her head in waves, cradling her like it was a pillow. Clasped in her hands that were now resting gently over her chest, were the broken remains of the Skywalker saber. Her trusty lightsaber staff lay at her side. She looked so beautiful, like she could be sleeping.
Poe Dameron officiated with a moving eulogy, pausing after each and every phrase impressively. The drama of the moment was not lost on him, and being the charismatic leader that he was, Poe was determined to honor their fallen hero with nothing but the best praises. He was also showboating because, in his grief, he had spent the entire previous evening writing out his remarks while getting drunk. Very.
"Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes... Here she lies! No one knew her worth, the late great daughter now laid in earth..." Poe's gaze now shifted to Ben Solo in the front row, holding his motherless daughter in his arms. "On this night, as we celebrate the birth... on that craggy rock called Tatooine, we raise a glass - you bet your ass - to... the Jedi Rey!"
Finn seemed to be the only one to take any offense that Poe had delivered the entire speech while inebriated. Everyone else was still mad and wracked with grief.
This grief would eventually inspire the Resistance to lead audacious, relentless assaults against the First Order. Hux and the Knights of Ren soon fell, as well as the entirety of the Order's apparatus.
After the war, Ben Solo returned to Ahch-To alone with baby Kira. There he would raise her by himself, while also rebuilding an Academy of Grey Jedi.