Several years had passed since then, but every little detail was still so vivid in Ritsuka's mind. He remembered the dark in the house, the cold chill that wound itself up his spine, and the feel of his mothers shaking hands as they hit him, bound him, and held him just under the water's surface. He even remembered the tears she shed as she it happened. Though it was a terrible, traumatic experience, when he was there, just like that… he almost felt at peace. His body was struggling, but his mind was calm as could be. Maybe he really was willing to die that day, but Seimei…

Memories flowed back into his mind, and he had to relive that horrible day all over again. That's what brought his mind back, and forced him out of his sleep. Not that it had been a calm one to begin with. The poor boy sat upright, dripping with a cold sweat and a light headache forming. His breath was passing by his chapped pink lips in short, uneven gasps, and it felt like his skin was on fire! It was somewhat disturbing… as the quick beating of his heart was pounding in his sensitive ears, drowning out all other noise. …Another nightmare.

Nightmares had plagued the boy much the same way for several nights now, and only getting an hour or so sleep each night was starting to really take its toll on the youngest Aoyagi. Resting his head on his knees, Ritsuka sighed. Slowly but surely, his heart returned to normal, and the thoughts of his dream started to fade… but his living memory probably never would.

Ritsuka had denied it a thousand times… to his therapist, to his brother…to himself. But he cried, then, and that's what gave him away. His mother and the tub… him being pushed under the water… It wasn't because his mother was confused, it was because… she wanted him to die. She wanted him dead, and between the two of them… he was willing to do so for her. Sure, he was afraid of dying, but being alone, he found, was far more terrifying. Sure, he had Yuiko and Yayoi and… Soubi… but somehow, he still felt empty inside. His heart ached from loneliness and he grabbed his shirt above his chest and sobbed until morning.

Later in the day, while his mother was still making breakfast for him, or was it for the other "Ritsuka", the boy got his school bag and left the house. He said a small goodbye to his mother but didn't wait to be yelled at before closing the door behind him. He was close to an hour early, and there was a slight chill in the air, but he ignored it and walked to school, anyway, half-hoping that the cold would keep him awake.

Forty minutes later, his teacher also arrived, only to find the petite student sitting on the floor just outside the classroom door. But his head was down, and his body lightly shivering. This worried her, and she knelt down to tap lightly on his shoulder, but she was relieved slightly when he rose his head, looking tired, but not hurt or anything. She let him into the room and watched as he slumped down and almost curled up in his seat. It would probably be another ten or fifteen minutes before the other students would be there, and though she was confused about his early arrival, she chose to stay quiet about it. But, there was something she could do about his shivering.

Ritsuka was so out of it, he didn't notice as his teacher left, briefly. He was trying to control his shivering, and cursing himself for not bringing a thicker coat. Surely, it would warm up later in the day, but leaving early was probably not a good idea. The next thing he knew, however, was a sense of warm coming from right next to him. He opened his eyes and looked. He saw a cup, and a slender hand. He followed the hand up, a surprised look on his face, to his teacher. Why was she…?

"You looked cold, so please, drink this."

"What… is it?"

"Cocoa. Oh. Do you not like it?"

It just wasn't often that someone offered him something like that without being asked… but he was grateful. He took the cup that he was offered and took a small sip, already starting to warm up.

"Well?"

"Mm. It's good. Thank you, sensei." This made her smile.

"You're welcome! If you ever need anything at all, you can talk to me, okay?"

He nodded his head, and she cheerfully returned to her desk. He could talk to her…? It was a nice idea, but not one that he could fall back on, given his situation. His brother died in front of him, his mother beats him daily, and there are weird people following him and fighting with him all the time. …And then there's Soubi. How could he describe him? He was… brash, and selfish… but one of the only adults around who could understand him. Looking down at his drink, Ritsuka thought about it more.

School was mostly uneventful, filled with the usual chatty Yuiko and jealous Yayoi, but the teacher didn't cry that day, which was good. It made it easier for Ritsuka to blend in. But he didn't expect that his sleep deprivation would start catching up on him so early. In the middle of class, his head slipped down, resting on his textbook, and everything blanked out. He must not have been out for long, because when he awoke next, a hand was on his head. He lifted it tiredly to look at the teacher. She was obviously worried.

"Ritsuka? Are you all right…? You look pale."

"Sensei…"

"EHHH? Ritsuka-kun is ill?" Yuiko exclaimed from next to him.

"Oh, I should have seen sooner! Gomen!" The teacher almost cried, and Ritsuka rubbed his eyes.

"I'm fine, sensei… don't cry, okay? I'm just tired."

"Mm… are you sure?" He nodded.

"Okay… but you still don't look good. Maybe you should go lie down. I'll let the nurse know you're coming."

To the nurses' office? Well, he didn't like the idea of someone worrying about him, hovering over him, but the idea of getting some extra sleep sounded good, so he picked up his bag and walked there. The nurse met him there and took his temperature and whatnot before letting him lie down. he didn't feel like he was sick, but the meter showed a temperature of 99 degrees. Well, it didn't matter. He could sleep…