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Chapter 3 – Interview 1

The Quibbler, Tuesday, September 3, 1996

SPECIAL EDITION!

Harry Potter a Veela!
Read the exclusive interview with our very own Mr. Xenophilius Lovegood!

Mr. Harry Potter has agreed to a series of exclusive interviews with our respected paper upon the condition that our conversations were printed word for word. We here at The Quibbler are more than happy to give Mr. Potter this assurance of our integrity. Below you will find our conversation that took place in Hogwarts' Great Hall on the morning of September 2nd.

LG:"Well, Mr. Potter, it seems that you've sprung quite a surprise on the wizarding world!"

HP:"Yes."

LG: "Well, can you tell us about it?"

HP:"I suppose. It's nothing odd, really. My mother was a half-Veela and she passed her Veela genes down to me."

LG:"But that is quite the surprise, Mr. Potter…"

HP:"Please call me Harry."

LG:"Of course. Thank you, Harry. As I was saying, it appears quite the surprise that Lily Potter was a Veela. Where did it come from? Did anybody actually know?"

HP:"Half-Veela and, well, she knew, obviously. My father also knew. Nobody else, I don't think. At least, not that I know of. As to where it came from, I'd like to keep quiet about that for now."

LG:"And how did you find out that your mother was half-Veela? Did you research it when you came into your own inheritance?"

HP:"No, I already knew. I've known since I was thirteen, almost fourteen. My mother left me her journals and she talks about it in there."

LG:"My goodness. You've kept your heritage a secret this whole time?"

HP:"Two years is hardly that long. And, yes, I kept it secret. It wasn't anybody's business but my own. At least, at the time. Now that I've reached my sexual maturity, it's quite the different story, isn't it?" (laugh)

LG:"Quite so. I apologize for any offense…"

HP:"It's all right. I know everyone's curious. It's just that my private life is supposed to be private, you know? It really bothers me sometimes when people think they have the right to know everything about me no matter what."

LG:"Well, yes, I can see that… So what does this mean for you and your future?"

HP:"Well, for my immediate future, it means that I'm seeking a mate. My long-term plans are still subject to change at this point."

LG:"Well, you're young yet so you've plenty of time to decide what to do with your life. I'm sure that quite a number people would like to know what thoughts you may have about your future goals but I understand that you granted this interview primarily so that you might get the word out about what it is you are looking for in a mate, so shall we start on that?"

HP:"Certainly, sir."

LG:"Well, let's start with the basics first. Are you looking for a man or a woman? Or do you care?"

HP:(snort) "Well, I am a submissive Veela, you know. An x-male. That means I'm looking for a man, obviously. So, all women are out."

LG:"Well, I'm sure that will dismay quite a number of people."

HP:"Probably. I imagine it'll interest a lot more, though."

LG:"Oh, of course, of course. Well, let's move on to something else easy. Are you interested in men of a particular age?"

HP:"I obviously want somebody who's old enough. So, I'm thinking…at least sixteen. I might accept someone who's fifteen since it'll be a year or so before we bond and they'll be sixteen by then. Anybody younger, though…"

LG:"So, nobody born after 1981, then?"

HP:"That sounds about right."

LG:"How about an upper age limit?"

HP:"I don't think I care so much about that, really. They have to be able to perform, though, if you know what I mean. I want children."

LG:"Ah, well, now, Harry…Did you know that the oldest wizard to sire a child was two hundred and six?"

HP:(choke) "No, I didn't know that! Well, I certainly don't want someone that old!"

LG:(laugh) "Maybe a wizard in his early hundreds, then?"

HP:"No. All right, all right, stop your laughing and help me out here!"

LG:(laugh) "Well, how about making it easy and saying no suitors born before 1950?"

HP:"1950? That would mean they would be, at most, thirty years older than me. That's actually a good idea, I think. A single generation gap is fine but two might be a bit much."

LG:"True. Well, that will still leave quite a number of potential suitors, I imagine."

HP:"Oh, I'm sure. One thing, though, they have to be healthy, no matter how young or old they are."

LG:"An athlete?"

HP:"No, not necessarily. I just don't want a fat or sickly mate."

LG:"Understandable. How about nationality? Are you looking for a British mate?"

HP:"I don't care if they're British or not."

LG:"European?"

HP:"Don't care."

LG:"You realize that there could be a lot of suitors from other countries if you don't limit the nationality?"

HP:"I understand, but I really don't have a regional preference – I'm actually rather interested in other cultures – and I don't think it would be fair to eliminate somebody based off something that I don't even care about. Although…"

LG:"Yes?"

HP:"They need to be able to speak English, and fluently at that. I do want to be able to communicate with my potential mate, after all. I'm not against learning another language eventually, but I don't want to have to do that until I'm mated."

LG:"That seems reasonable. May I presume a human wizard is acceptable? Or do you require them to have Veela heritage?"

HP:"I don't care. I don't require them to be human at all."

LG:"So you would accept a werewolf or a vampire or an elf? A high-elf, I mean, not a house-elf."

HP:(laugh) "Sure. Even a goblin."

LG:(gasp) "Harry, surely you're not serious?"

HP:"I am. I'll say that I want them humanoid, though. I have great respect for centaurs and mer-people and such, but, well…"

LG:"Yes, yes, yes. Of course, of course. Well…well…"

HP:(laugh) "Anyone who knows me knows that I am not prejudiced against any magical beings. I will admit, however, that I wouldn't likely choose a goblin. I'd like somebody around my height and all the goblins I've seen have been much shorter."

LG:(throat clearing) "Yes, well, perfectly understandable. Perfectly."

HP:(laugh)

LG:"Ah…Hair or eye color?"

HP:(laugh) "No."

LG:"Right, then. Shall we get on to the more difficult items?"

HP:"Sure. What've you got?"

LG:"Do you have any specific personality traits you're looking for?"

HP:"I'd like them to be independent and able to think for themselves."

LG:"Good traits, certainly."

HP:"And a good sense of humor."

LG:"Ah, now, Harry, what is considered a good sense of humor or not can vary widely. Could you be more specific?"

HP:"Well, I like a dry wit. Somebody who can appreciate the ironies of life. I don't appreciate slapstick humor or the type of humor that makes fun of other people."

LG:"What about intelligence?"

HP:"They don't need to be a genius or anything, but I do want to be able to hold intellectual conversations. As I said before, I want them to be able to think for themselves. That means they have to be able to figure things out on their own and form their own opinions. I don't want somebody that just thinks whatever they are told to think, that follows propaganda like a sheep. They'd have to be moderately well educated, I imagine."

LG:"And what do you mean by that, Harry? A graduate from a magical school like Hogwarts? Or even higher education?

HP:"Well, like Hogwarts, I should think, at the very least. Someone who could pass something like the N.E.W.T.s even if they never did go to a so-called real school. I want to do further study after Hogwarts, too, but not necessarily formalized, and I'd like my mate to be able to keep up with me. I want them to be interested in learning, too. I don't want someone who's smart but was content to just lay back and only do what was necessary to pass."

LG:"So you would like someone with a somewhat driven personality?"

HP:"Not necessarily. I mean, I don't want someone who's lazy but I don't want someone who's only focused on a single objective, either. Something in the middle."

LG: "Of course. How about analytical? Gregarious? Intuitive? Neat? Active? Mysti…"

HP:"Stop, stop!" sigh "Look, I don't know about all that. I don't know just exactly what kind of personality would be best for my mate. I get along with all types of people. I have one friend who loves books and another that loves quidditch. One friend that loves plants and one that loves creatures. So I just don't know. What I do know is that I want them to be able to think for themselves. I don't want a mate that idolizes and blindly obeys anybody. Not me and not some political figure. I don't want a mate that believes everything they hear or read without even bothering to try and figure out the truth. That's what I know."

LG:"Well…I'm sure you'll find someone like that."

HP:"I'm sure. I imagine I'll have plenty to choose from. I also know that I want them to not be prejudiced against other magical beings and that includes muggle-borns."

LG:"So you're not looking for a pureblood, then."

HP:"I didn't say that. In fact, I think I might end up with a pureblood, if only because I definitely want to live within magical society. I have no interest at all in living in a muggle area. It's not like pureblood is synonymous with prejudice, you know, and muggle-born isn't synonymous with tolerance. There are both kinds of people in both camps."

LG:"That's a very enlightened view."

HP:"Whatever."

LG:"How about hobbies?"

HP:"Hobbies?"

LG:"Yes. Something a bit more innocuous."

HP:"Um, well, after I graduate, I'd like to travel the world. So, you know, my mate would have to be somebody willing to do that. They can't keep me on their estate all the time, I won't stand for it."

LG:"What about when you have children?"

HP:"They come along."

LG:"Any other hobbies you want to pick up?"

HP:(laugh) "Probably eventually, but nothing I can think of right now. Oh, they have to realize that I'm a flyer. I'm not giving up my broom. They don't have to fly with me but they better not even think of demanding that I stop…"