Chapter 9
"My Date.."
"What are you doing with her!"
Sirius wants to laugh loudly while looking at James almost red face due to anger. He bet, his friend still doesn't realize his true feelings for Hermione, and Sirius is also sure that his best friend doesn't have any idea that he is acting like a jealous boyfriend right now.
"Jeez, Prongs lower your voice before you wake up everyone."
Instead of answering him, James just rewarded him another jealous glare and he almost lost it if not only for Hermione's loud sigh.
Hermione POV
Hermione doesn't know what's happening but she is too tired to care, so she decided to start walking towards the girls' dorm. Right now what she needed the most was a long night rest and maybe after, she will finally wake up from this very stressful dream or nightmare, for the second time that night, another Marauder stopped her, but this time it was not Sirius but instead it was James who is looking at her with…panic?
She looked at James' hand pointedly that was holding her arm to stop her from leaving.
James let her go immediately while blushing furiously that made her wrinkle her forehead out of confusion. Harry's father became weirder and weirder even for her. He is acting oddly and she doesn't know why.
Hermione crossed her arms and waited patiently for James to say something, she thinks, she at least owes this to him for helping her earlier, but she will die first before she says it out loud to him. But when James remained immobile and silently looking at her while fidgeting…
"Well?" Hermione said in a calm voice.
"Ahm…Hermione..Ahm.."
"What?"
"Ahm..Hermione.."
Hermione can feel her patience slipping. If he wanted to say anything, why can't he just say it! She is tired and she badly wanted to rest and seeing James' friend who is laughing silently in the background for unknown reason didn't help at all. She hated not knowing what was so amusing because she couldn't see anything funny.
"Ahm..Hermione-"
"Look, Potter if you want to say something just say it okay! But if you just want to mess with me, now is not a good time. I'm really tired right now and I really like to sleep already!"
Much to Hermione's annoyance James just looks at her oddly again with that annoying blush instead of saying anything. She turned her back and continues to go to the girls' dorm before she does something to Harry's father. If they are pranking her, they better stop because she is not in the right mood to ignore them. The earlier event slowly beaten her and the Marauder's didn't help her at all.
She stops again when she hears the three Marauder's loud laughter. She looks at them with confusion and it made them laugh even louder which could wake up everyone in the Gryffindor common room if they don't stop soon. When she looks at James, she is glad to find out that she is not alone in her confusion.
"Merlin! You all are irritating! If you are pranking me, this is no longer funny!" She said with a very annoyed voice. These people are giving her a headache, and if they don't stop she will really hex them.
"We are not!" James said immediately in a panic voice.
"Whatever!" Hermione said tiredly. She just want to rest, she started walking away from them when another voice stopped her. "What now!"
When Hermione looked at the source of the voice she saw a very much red Lily coming from the entrance door and she just remembered that Lily was on duty tonight to patrol as prefect.
She ignored her and continued her journey but of course not only the Marauders want to measure her patience but also Harry's mother.
"Granger!"
Why can't they just give her a break! She massages her temple in an attempt to stop the headache.
"Did you hear me Granger!"
Hermione sighed loudly, and face Lily with a face devoid of any emotion and she almost sighed again when she saw the familiar glare from Lily to her. "I can hear you perfectly Evans."
"Good because I need to tell you something."
When she saw her smirk she knew that whatever she will say, she won't like it, but instead of saying anything she allowed her to continue.
Lily frowned when she saw the calmness in Granger's face. Merlin! She really hates this girl!
" I want you to stop bringing shame to the Gryffindor!"
Hermione frowned hearing that. "Pardon?"
"I said stop being a constant embarrassment to Gryffindor!"
"Hey Evans stop it already, okay."
Lily heard James say that only made her blood boil. How could he defend this girl in front of her! Can't he see how many points they are losing because of this girl stupidness! "No, she needs to hear"
"Lily, I think James is right you're going overboard already."
"Remus stay out of this!"
"Hey Evans stop being a **!"
"Yes, E-Evans H-Hermione is not doing a-anything t-to you."
How dare they! Lily can feel her anger towards Hermione increase. Lily looks at Hermione sharply who in return was looking at her with an unreadable expression."You better stop bringing shame to Gryffindor. Since you arrived we continuously lost points and that's because you are so selfish to care! I had enough of you Granger! You-"
"Shut up…" Hermione said almost inaudibly. Lily doesn't have any idea how much she is hurting her with her words. She cannot accept that this girl is the compassionate mother of Harry.
"What did you say Granger!"
"I said shut up!" This time Hermione said sharply and loudly that made not only Lily but also the Marauders go silent. She clinched her fist to control her anger not caring if her nails cut through her skin. This girl is not worthy to become Harry's mother. Hermione felt sick just looking at this girl. "I'm going to bed." Hermione turned her back on them, she is too tired for this but James saw the pain again in Hermione's eyes. The same pain he saw during the Boggart test.
"I'm still talking to you Granger!"
"Not everything is about you Evan!" she had enough of Lily's bitchiness she doesn't deserve it. Merlin if she only knew what she sacrificed! She doesn't have any right to say anything to her. She doesn't have any right to act this way to her!
"Excuse me?" Lily can't believe the nerve of this girl. Who does she think she is to act this way?
"Yes! Excuse me!" Hermione started to walk again towards the girls' dorm. She had enough of everything, and now she can't help but question if these people are even worth saving, and just feeling that doubt hurts her even more. She hates to see Harry's face when she found out what kind of person his mother really is. She hates knowing that it might…no it will definitely break his heart.
When Hermione turned her back this time, she doesn't have any intention to stop whatever she hears. She needs to go away immediately before she hurts Lily badly because she is certain that if she curse Harry's mother she will never regret it. But she only made a couple of steps before she felt a familiar spell on her left shoulder.
"Evan!"
With a deep frowned she raised her arm to see blood continuously flowing out the wound the cutting spell created. With a very cold expression that can bring anyone a chill Hermione looked at Lily. "Well, Well it seems that you are not a perfect prefect after all." Before any of them can say anything Hermione started to walk away and this time no one stops her which is good because if they did they might know the real her.
"What the hell Evans!"
Lily was shocked when she saw James looking at her with so much anger that never happened before. The truth is, it was never her intention to hurt Hermione but seeing James expression right now made her anger for Hermione resurface. "She deserved it!"
James can't believe what he is hearing. "You are so disgusting Evans." James went to his own dorm before he hexed Lily because honestly he never felt so much anger directed to anyone. Merlin not even the Slytherins made him feel so anger.
Hermione POV
When she closed the door in her dorm, she felt really tired as if all her energy was drained from her body, but despite that tiredness she can still feel her heart throbbing out of pain making her touch her chest while she fell to the floor. She can't stop the tears that was continuously flowing from her eyes. Up until now she cannot believe what Lily said. She can handle the pain coming from her wound because it can easily be fixed with a simple healing spell but what Lily said cut deep into her.
All Harry's life of knowing about his parents he believe them to be compassionate people and she saw how much it broke Harry's heart when he saw how his father treated Snape during his Occlumency training, now the way Lily acted was nothing compared to what Harry saw. It hurts her so much to know that what she believed from before is completely opposite of what reality is.
Now she knows how it feels to be wrong and she really wished that she only learned this feeling through exams; not in this situation because feeling like this made her doubt everything that she fought for before.
James POV
James keeps on pacing in their dorm he wanted to go to Hermione to ensure she is okay but the charm in the girls' dorm stopping him everytime he tried to get in.
"James stop pacing."
When James ignores him, Remus can't help but sigh. The truth is he never expected Lily to attacked Hermione and he himself felt mad because of that and judging by the look of Sirius and Peter they felt the same but he knows that out of them all James is the most affected.
James loves Hermione whether he realized it or not, he is already a goner when it comes to the new girl and Remus is sure that any day from now James will finally realize what's very obvious to them, and when that comes hopefully James will not get hurt because Remus is sure whatever his best friend felt for Lily was nothing compared to what James is feeling for Hermione.
"James calm down okay."
James stopped and looks at Sirius. "How can I, Sirius? I'm really worried for Hermione maybe I should go to her dorm just to ensure that she is okay."
"Prongs you already tried, remember." Peter said
James sighed irritatedly he really hated the charm that was put on that ladder. "I'm really worried."
"We know James and we are worried to, but we cannot do anything about it so why don't you rest for the meantime and wait for tomorrow morning for Hermione.
James wants to protest but he knows that he cannot do anything as long as there are charms stopping any boys from entering the girls' dorm. So even though he hated it he knew he only had one option and that was to wait. But it seems that even sleep is avoiding him because every time he closed his eyes all he can see is Hermione's bleeding arm.
"Hermione I hope your okay…"
Lucius POV
Hermione's mystery became his entertainment for the past few weeks since he saw her but he never imagined that the mysteries that she is keeping would change his life. After hearing her stories he can't believe how much he participated in her suffering, no wander she seems to hate him so much.
Now he knows why he felt the need to protect her this time, why he felt so attached to Hermione. He was meant to protect her but he failed her and worst he managed to hurt her…no not only did he hurt her but he was one of the reason why she is so broken right now. He wants to fix his mistakes but he doesn't know how.
Hermione is a true epitome of bravery and strength but despite her perfect cover he can still see the pain and suffering that she is enduring. He is determined to get her to trust him; if he failed her in the future he will make sure that this time he will protect her, he just hopes that this time she will give him a chance to redeem himself to her.
Hermione POV
If she has a choice she will bury herself in her dorm so that she will not see anyone, sadly she doesn't have a choice and even if she did Dumbledore will interfere. All that happened yesterday left her with less energy to face anything today.
She can't help but wonder if her life could be more messed up? She doesn't want to face anyone right now, especially Malfoy. Yes he might be her father but for her he already lost that right when he decided to gave her up and fought alongside Voldemort that destroyed so many lives including hers.
And now that Malfoy knows everything she doesn't know how to face him any longer. Merlin! She never readied herself for this kind of situation. When she came to this time she readied herself to battle different evils that will challenge her but not in this because even in the future she avoided him like a plague.
With a loud sigh she readied herself for classes. Her movement is slow and lacking of enthusiasm. Even though she hates to do this she doesn't have any choice but face everything. And she wishes fate would stop testing her only for today, because she needs a break from everything. She can only take so much drama in her life and she can feel that she is near to her limitation.
James POV
When the sun starts to show he immediately washed and dressed himself and went to the common room not waiting for his friends who is still sleeping soundly. Sleeping become hard for him and he only slept for an hour because Hermione never left his mind.
He sat at the sofa facing the girls' dorm so that he can see clearly in case Hermione comes down. He might appear calm and collected but his insides feels the complete opposite. His heart is beating furiously due to anticipation to see Hermione. He wants to see her right now, and if only he knew how to pass the girl's dorm charm he might already have gone to her room.
He knows that she is not okay, not only because of her wound but also because of something. He didn't need to know the reason all he wants is to be part of her suffering. He wants to help her and if she will trust him fully, he promise that he will be by her side. All he needs is a chance, a chance for her to need to him.
"Prongs!"
When James looks up he saw his friends coming down from the boys' dormitory. They all looked slightly dishevelled a sign that they just wake up except Remus who looks like a perfect role model student.
"You woke up early Prongs we didn't even noticed you leaving our room."
When James didn't answer him, Sirius just sighed inwardly and sits besides his best friend while Remus and Peter copied him.
"Still no sign of her."
James just shakes his head as an answer and Remus chose to just shut his mouth and wait silently along with his friends.
When James saw Hermione emerging from the girls' dorm he immediately stood up and walked towards her.
"Hermione!" he said excitedly only to be ignored by her. Hermione didn't even give him a single glance and instead she continued walking out of the Gryffindor Common Room.
"Hermione?" James looks at Hermione's retreating figure but Hermione didn't give him any indication that she heard him as if she didn't even see his presence until she finally vanished from his vision.
James three friends didn't know what to say, they only silently watched what happened and they can see the pain that cross in James face due to Hermione's action.
"James?" Sirius looks at his best friend worriedly and for the first time he started to question if James falling in love with Hermione was really a good thing. The girl can hurt James easily in a way that even Evans can't do and that scared Sirius because just like his other friends he knows that James feelings for Hermione is much deeper.
"I can't understand it padfoot, we're are okay when we are together but now she is not even looking at me."
None of the three knew what to say, the only thing they can do is silently stand at James side.
Hermione POV
Hermione saw James, she doesn't want to do this to him but she cannot let herself get attached to anyone. She wants to go home! She doesn't know how much longer she can take living in this time. When Lily hurt her last night she realized that she can never belong in this time because as long as she is doing things little by little to change the future in a way she never planned.
She is scared that if she allowed herself again to be attached to anyone she might change something that will affect Harry, Ron or anyone important to her, and she cannot let that happen because of her unintended action. She is to save the future and she will do that even if all the people here in this time hate her.
"Hermione!"
When she looks from her food to the owner of the voice that called her she saw Anica looking at her with a very happy face. When she decided to distance herself from everyone it also included her bubbly dorm mate but it seems that no matter how much coldness she showed to her it doesn't affect at her at all.
"Josh Lenden asked me as a date to the ball!"
Hermione frowned. "Ball?" She said, not having any idea of what Anica is talking about.
"Yes, ball the upcoming Halloween, almost everybody is busy for their dress and dates."
Hermione just looks at Anica, so that's the reason why the others students are acting so excited the past few days. If she was not busy being invisible she might have heard it sooner.
"So?"
Hermione has the decency to look ashamed when she realized that Anica has been talking to her and apparently she missed her question. "Sorry but pardon."
Anica just sighed and looked at her excitedly. "I said who will be your date."
"Date?"
"Yes, date."
"I don't think I will attend."
Anica look scandalized of what she said. "You can't do that!" Anica said louder than intended attracting a few heads towards them that made Anica blushed furiously and made Hermione sigh.
"Why not?"
"Because it is a tradition."
"It is?" Hermione frowned again, they never had this kind of tradition before or maybe she is not just interested in any party. Even before she thought a party like this was a waste of time and honestly the only party that she attended was when Victor asked her to the Yule ball during her fourth year and she only accepted it because of her annoyance to Ron.
"Of course it is!"
And just like that Anica begun her speech about the importance of the Halloween Ball which gave her headache for just listening so to just stop Anica from talking she found herself promising to attend the ball which she will probably regret later, and that later came faster than she expected.
She went to the Black Lake to avoid the excitement that seems to radiate in everyone which just gave her another headache. Now she found herself comfortably leaning aganist the tree.
Hermione sighed in contentment she cannot remember when was the last time she felt the peacefulness of her surrounding without anyone bothering her. After that night she expected Malfoy to bother her but to her confusion he didn't bother her once and she doesn't know if she should be thankful for that or not because his action made her feel like staying in a middle of a calm wave while anticipating for a strong storm that will hit her anytime. Especially when she always saw him watching her everywhere she went if felt like she gained her personal stalker; it made her wonder how he managed to do that without anyone noticing him except her.
However somebody will always destroy the peaceful surroundings and when she looks at the source of the noise she can't help but frown when she saw Sirius looking at her. She stands up and readied herself to leave but of course Sirius immediately blocks her way and judging by her past experience when it comes to this situation she has no choice but to listen to them.
"What now Black." Merlin, this situation is becoming a habit.
"Let just say that you cannot leave unless you hear James first."
Hermione looks at Sirius and when she saw no hint of humour in his eyes. "Well, I didn't see him anywhere."
Sirius just smiled at her sweetly, actually too sweetly for her liking because right now she much prefers his mischievous grin. But before she can question his intention Sirius already grab her gently and before she could protest he was already leading her to somewhere.
She doesn't know where he was leading her but she is smart enough to not say anything knowing that Sirius will only ignore her. When they stopped Hermione can't help but gasped when she saw the breath taking surroundings.
The land was covered with petals of different flowers. While many scented candles were floating up in the air giving the place a romantic ambiance…then she heard it…a song that made her heart stop when she recognize who is the owner of the voice.
All That's Left by Christian Bautista
All that's left, all that's left (6x)
You know I'm not alright
Cause all that I've been through
Has left me cold inside
And feelin' like a fool
But even when I don't say a word
Somehow you understand
Cause I've been hurt before
And healin' takes so long
Hermione can't believe that this is happening! This is Harry's father and she is not stupid to know his reason for his actions but her brain doesn't want to accept it! Then as the song plays she suddenly remembered her past memories.
Trust shattered on the floor
Pretending to be strong
But girl you picked up the pieces
And showed me just how you belong
So I must sing this song
You're the best thing that has ever happened to me
Thought I'd locked my heart but you found the key
You bring out the best in whatever's left of me
All that's left of me
All that's left, all that's left
All that's left of me
I'd given up the fight
My heart would never mend
I couldn't see the light
Or find the tunnel's end
Thought I would never feel it again
And then I met you
"For James Lily is his everything. He has been in love with her ever since he saw her." Sirius said to her once she asked him to tell her a story about Harry's parents.
You made me realize
What loving's all about
Building each other's lives
Casting aside all doubt
So I take this leap of faith
Cause I can't imagine life without you
You're the best thing that has ever happened to me
Thought I'd locked my heart but you found the key
And when it's all done, holding you in my arms
Feels just how it should be
Your eyes take me off to a special space
After Harry and Ginny's break up Hermione found her best friend sitting silently on the Astronomy tower.
"Harry? Are you okay?"
Harry smiled at her but all she can see is the deep loneliness in his eyes. "Do you think I will find someone for me, Hermione?"
She smiled at him and sits beside him. "Of course."
"I wish that I will find someone who I can share the love that my mom and dad shared."
"You will Harry, you will."
With you everything seems to fall into place
You bring out the best in whatever's left of me
All that's left of me… left of me
You bring out the best in whatever's left of me
You're the best thing that has ever happened to me
Thought I'd locked my heart but you found the key
And when it's all done, holding you in my arms
Feels just how it should be
And when James looks at her she can finally name the emotion that his eyes held for her. It is the same emotion that Remus has when he looks at Tonks, the same expression that Mr. Weasly held everytime Mrs. Weasley is near.
Your eyes take me off to a special space
With you everything seems to fall into place
You bring out the best in whatever's left of me
All that's left of me (5x)…
When James started to move towards her Hermione tried to run but then she felt Sirius hand holding her shoulder making her unable to move. Then when James was only a foot away from her, he suddenly kneels in front of her while holding white tulips for her.
"Hermione Granger, I don't really know what to say but can you do me the honour of escorting you to the Halloween Ball?"
James looked so nervous while looking at her intently but her mind is freaking out to much to care. Harry's father just asked her out! And it felt so wrong in many aspects and suddenly it feels as if facing Malfoy right now will be much easier than looking at James like this.
"Hermione?"
She looks at James calmly. "I can't."
"Why not!"
She heard Sirius asked from her back but all she can see is James hurt face and she needs to look away because looking at his pain made her feel as if it is Harry who she is hurting, but she needs to do this. Then she saw him looking at them not far from where they are and suddenly, she has a brilliant idea to escape this messy situation.
"I already have a date." Oh Merlin! What a great liar she is.
James stands up and looks at her pleadingly as if asking her to say that she just joking. "No you don't." James' voice is determined but his expression is doubtful and she used that doubt.
"I already have, and he is here actually." She didn't wait for the two Marauders to say anything she calmly walked towards Malfoy's direction and when she is near enough she embraced his arm and smiled sweetly at him making sure that the two will see it.
"Potter, Black meet my date Lucius."