Authors note: yup, it's me Draco'sgirl again. (i'm too lazy to type my entire username, so you'll have to be happy with that.) as i mentioned before, she made me write this part, so i punished her with the ending. you'd better hope she updates soon if you want to find out what happens.
disclaimer: let's see... we're getting lots and lots of OC's, aren't we? but who cares? they're not mine anyway. but, just to make the people happy... michiko is hers, maddie is hers, eris is hers, ripowal is hers... i think that's it. the rest belongs to whoever it was who wrote naruto.

Itachi Decides it isn't Finished and Demands it Back

Itachi drifted across the kitchen, vaguely wondering why everything seemed so very quiet around the base. It has been liked this for the last several days, and he couldn't help feeling oddly unsettled by the lack of agitation. Actually, it was more than that. It was the lack of a specific agitation. He just couldn't think what it was.

He automatically put out his arms as he passed through a chair, grimacing slightly as he did so. He couldn't quite get the hang of this non-corporeal state, and it was still instinctive to attempt to brace himself against any solid items in his path.

As he dropped his hands back to his sides, he froze, half his body still passing through the chair. Hands. Something missing. Of course! He groaned aloud. Why couldn't Deidara just leave him alone!? Even when they were both dead, Deidara continued to haunt him. It wasn't fair!

'Just how often is life fair, hmm?'

Itachi whirled to see Michiko walking towards him, her eyebrows raised in a half mocking expression.

'Hardly ever,' he admitted.

'Exactly.'

She came towards him, her brows furrowed slightly in concentration. Itachi had to grin. Ever since he'd come back as a ghost, she'd had some trouble locating him. He couldn't help feeling that, in some small way, it made up for the hells she'd put him through.

'Over here.'

'I knew that!' she snapped, changing direction. 'You do realize that you're halfway through my chair, don't you?'

He'd forgotten that fact. Hurriedly, he pulled the rest of himself out of the chair and went to perch on the table. He'd finally mastered Maddie's trick of hovering mere millimeters above and object so that it looked as though he were sitting on it. She'd nodded in bored approval when he showed off his new skill. "You're learning," she'd remarked, before whisking the chair out from under him and passing it to Kisame.

Suddenly, Itachi stiffened, his head turning sharply towards the oven. A glance at Michiko confirmed that she'd heard it too. Silently, Itachi rose and crept towards the oven, passing close to Michiko so that she wouldn't go too. He paused in front of it, one hand extended to open it. Suddenly, he changed his mind and, instead of opening the door, he passed through it into the depths of the appliance.

A disheveled figure greeted him, one that was not only far too familiar but singularly unwelcome.

"Why are you back here?"

Deidara sighed. "It wasn't by choice, I assure you."

"Then, what…?"

"You didn't know Gods had to deal with sibling rivalry too, did you?"

"Sibling rivalry?"

Deidara nodded.

Itachi grimaced, crossing his arms over his bloodstained chest. "I would understand this so much better if you actually bothered to explain yourself, you know."

Deidara expelled a gusty sigh. "What is there to explain? Eris killed me; her brother brought me back."

"Eris has a brother?"

"Apparently."

"And he sent you back why?"

Deidara shrugged. "Actually, I wasn't too clear on that part. It went a bit fast."

"Great. So now we have another ghost on the team as well as an odd number of members. Sir Leader won't be pleased."

"It's not my fault!"

"Who cares? The fact remains that you're here again."

'Itachi, what's going on?'

'Deidara.'

He felt her stiffen. 'What about Deidara?'

'He's back.'

'Back?'

'Yes. Incidentally, this is one hell of a big oven!'

'What?'

'Never mind.'

Itachi turned back to Deidara, his mouth twisting into a slightly malicious grimace. "Come on. We've got to tell Sir Leader."

"Tell him what?"

"That it's raining ice cream cones and hailing slushies. What do you think?!"

"Oh. Right."

Deidara drifted morosely out through the over door. Itachi followed rapidly. Too rapidly, it turned out, as he collided head on with the other ghost and rebounded back into the oven and halfway through the wall before regaining control of his momentum.

Deidara had moved by the time Itachi tried again – more cautiously this time. The newest ghost of the team floated a little ways away, staring at Michiko in a way that made Itachi very uncomfortable. He went to stand at her side possessively.

"I was just looking, gods!"

Itachi scowled. "You said that right before the other time, too."

"How do you know? You were busy becoming a living vegetable."

"I'd be careful with that term if I were you. I'm sure Zetsu could find a way to cause you pain despite your current state."

Deidara scowled, but shut up. Itachi grinned. Michiko laughed.

"Why do I need to cause Deidara pain? He's not dead anymore. Obviously not. Shut up! Then stop making such genius observations!"

Itachi watched in bemused entertainment as Zetsu argued with himself. He – they? – didn't do it very often in public, and the sight was a welcome distraction from the issue at hand.

"So why do we need to cause Deidara pain?"

"Never mind," Itachi muttered quickly. He didn't want to have to deal with the confusion of explaining the matter to both sides of the carnivorous plant-being.

"Sir Leader will want to know that Deidara's…back."

"We know. We were going to tell him just as you came in."

"We were?" Deidara demanded.

"Yes, we were. Come on." Itachi led the way out of the kitchen and into the hall, wondering which particular of the gods hated him at this moment. Why was he volunteering to go see Sir Leader? It had to be some kind of plot made by those higher up the food chain than he was.

They made their way through the base in tense silence, watching out for anyone else who might decide to join their little group. Itachi sincerely hoped that no one would. Four was already too many, and if Zetsu counted as two…

Itachi shoved the thought violently out of his mind and concentrated on what he would tell Sir Leader when they arrived at their destination. Um, Sir? Deidara happens to be back as another ghost and doesn't have any plans to leave again, didn't seem like it would work very well.

'Why don't you make him do the explaining?' Michiko demanded in a low growl. 'He didn't have the decency to stay dead, did he?'

Itachi turned in slight surprise. 'Why are you so vicious all of a sudden? Last think I knew, you were still all lovey-dovey with him, and now you're willing to turn him into metaphoric meatballs.'

Michiko scowled. 'I'm trying to make it up to you. If you don't want me to…' She let the sentence hang ominously.

'No, no, it's all right. I was just curious, that's all.'

She didn't deign to answer that, and the conversation faded away. They were almost there anyway, and Itachi had to concentrate on the problem at hand. He lifted his hand to knock on the door, then remembered that he wouldn't be able to. With a grimace, he turned to look for something to use instead of his fist.

Eris popped into his field of vision, her lithe body navigating the sharp turn with ease. She stopped as she saw Deidara and lifted her eyebrows. "You found a loophole?" she demanded. "Or are you just incredibly unlucky?"

"The latter, I think. You didn't tell us you had a brother."

She bared her lips in a growl. "Ripowal? You met him?"

Deidara nodded.

"And he sent you back?"

Deidara nodded again.

Eris' scowl deepened into a hideous glower of fury. "That bastard! This is just like him! I bet he told you about the last one, didn't he?"

"He mentioned something about you begging him not to kill the last one, but…"

"I knew it! If he wasn't already God of the Dead, I'd damn him to the seventh circle of hell!"

Itachi, who had been having more than a little trouble following this conversation, decided it was time to reassert his authority. "Eris, what's going on?"

"My dearest darlingest brother stole something from me centuries ago, and now he's decided to give it back in a twisted and probably perverted way."

"What, Deidara?"

"Yes."

Itachi's eyebrows rose. "That is perverted."

"Hey!"

"What is going on out here?"

They all whirled to see Sir Leader standing in the doorway to his office, his hands on his hips. "Deidara, welcome back."

"I didn't volunteer to come, Sir."

Eris smirked. "As my brother likes to say, 'life is just what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.'"

Sir Leader glanced at her, then away, clearly deciding not to ask. "Do you intend to return to active duty?"

"I… do I have the choice?"

"You always have a choice," Sir Leader informed him with a razor's edge of a smile.

"I'll join again."

"Excellent. Eris, he will be your partner."

"Me?! But… Sasori…"

"…will work with Zetsu from now on."

Eris scowled again. "Why me?" she demanded in a tone that, had she been anyone but who she was, would have been described at petulant.

"Because you killed him, therefore you should be the one to welcome him back to the world of the living."

'He makes it sound like a reward,' Itachi murmured silently to Michiko. She nodded back.

"And what if we don't want to work with Sasori? We work fine on our own!"

"I do not recall asking for your opinion, Zetsu. Indeed, I am fairly certain I did not. You will work with Sasori from now on and that is final. Is there anything else?"

Sensing the danger, they all shook their heads.

"Excellent. Now go!"

They went. As they left, Itachi heard Eris murmur under her breath, "I'm going to kill Ripowal." He decided not to ask.