A/N: Ack. Don't give up on Hermione. I'm a bit indifferent towards her character in the books, but here in this story I've got plans… Plans, I tell you.
Chapter 8 – Pansy
The Quibbler, Special Flyer, Monday, October 7, 1996
Current Count of Suitors: 3,452
Most Admired Person: Elfrida Clagg. She was a true visionary. Not only was she the first woman chieftain of the Wizards' Council, a feat that speaks of her determination, but she was the first to actively work to preserve magical environments and species; one of the first things she did as Chieftainess was to protect the golden snidget. If not for her, we'd not have any golden snidgets alive today at all. Plus, she tried to get laws passed about recognizing legal rights for all magical beings. Just because everyone else kept her from enacting those laws doesn't mean that she should be any less honored for presenting them. I would love to have known her.
Favorite Invention: Not the floo, that's for certain! I never can land right, no matter what I do. I'd have to say the broom. I really love to fly.
Harry read his letter from "D" and indulged in the occasional snicker as he read about one of his suitor's youthful adventures. Who knew that Draco Malfoy was a closet skinny-dipper? Draco maintained that such illicit baths were much more invigorating than a boring shower and were, of course, healthier for the skin, and the healthier and more sensitive skin thus gained necessitated appropriately soft undergarments. Harry didn't buy that explanation for a second, but it was definitely a nice creative excuse for that week's gift; Harry now found himself in possession of ten each t-shirts, boxers, socks and handkerchiefs.
"Underwear?" Hermione asked in disbelief. The surrounding students looked a bit appalled at her statement and stared at Harry uncertainly.
"What's wrong with it?" Harry asked, somewhat surprised that his friends and housemates seemed offended on his behalf
"Well," Hermione said uncomfortably, glancing around for support, "It just seems a bit…too personal."
Harry blinked in surprise and furrowed his brows in thought. "I suppose," he said slowly. "I don't see anything wrong with it, though. I mean, he is working on filling out my wardrobe and these are considered an integral part, are they not?"
"Well, yes," Hermione agreed reluctantly. "Still."
"Still what?" Harry asked curiously. Really, he liked the present. Why was everybody so flustered?
"It's just not something that you send as a present," Ginny explained calmly while unconcernedly loading more eggs onto her plate. "Even for a courting gift."
"Oh," Harry said, still somewhat clueless. "But they're quite nice. And they're silk." He lifted one of the t-shirts partway out of the box to show his housemates.
Hermione blushed. "Yes, well…"
Ginny grinned at Harry and said, "Such things are usually gifts between lovers."
Harry blinked, then nodded, then smirked, and said, "Well, he is trying to get into my pants eventually, so I guess these are quite appropriate."
Ginny, Lavender, and Parvati giggled, Dean, Seamus and Neville lost their looks of discomfort and smirked back at him, and Hermione turned even redder. Harry grinned at his friend unrepentantly. How he loved riling her up!
"So, you like them," Hermione said, determined not to be conquered by her embarrassment.
"Very much, actually," Harry said as he carefully tucked his t-shirt back into its box.
"Then that's that," Hermione said decisively. "No one is to give Harry a hard time about his present." The girl followed up her command with a glare to her fellow students. A few snickers and giggles met her rather unnecessary proclamation. As far as they were concerned, if Harry was happy, then they were happy.
Harry placed his gift into his ever-present bag and asked for the pancake platter. As he doctored his pancakes to his liking, he considered the evidently risqué gift from Draco. He liked the gift, no doubt about it. He did wonder, though, if Draco's gift was in line with what was likely a crusade to replace his wardrobe, or if the blond actually knew a bit more than what Harry might have expected.
He had certainly not advertised the fact – indeed, he had tried to keep it hidden – but he had never had his own undergarments in his entire life. He wore Dudley's cast off pants and shirts, but he drew the line at wearing the fat, smelly pig's underwear, especially since he would have had to tie the huge garments in place somehow. Wearing a too big t-shirt under a too big shirt had seemed pointless to him, so he hadn't worn those either. The socks he'd received had always had holes, and usually were much too big since they most often came from Vernon, so unless he was really cold he had taken to not bothering wearing them at all. And he'd never owned a handkerchief in his life.
He thought it might take a bit of getting used to, to start wearing undergarments on a regular basis, but it was something he was going try anyway now that he had nice silk ones waiting for him.
The Quibbler, Special Flyer, Monday, October 14, 1996
Current Count of Suitors: 3,946
Favorite Place: I'd prefer not to say at this time. I will say that the place has a nice garden, though, that I like to picnic in when the weather's nice.
Favorite Store: It's actually not Quality Quidditch Supplies, despite the fact that I love to fly. My favorite store is actually Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. I'm not sure what that says about me, but I just love all the different types of ice cream there and the flavors are constantly changing. And have you seen all the different toppings and syrups you can get? You could have something different every day for years and years…
Harry examined the sweaters that had arrived that morning and was quite pleased. There were four very nice wool sweaters of varying styles and all of them of the finest quality. Considering it was cold that morning, Harry took off his robes and pulled on the thick dark green cable-knit sweater. He ran his hands over the soft wool before replacing his robe.
"Harry! You can't wear that now! It's not the proper uniform," Hermione scolded.
"And I'm not going to make it to class," Harry said in annoyance, waving an arm over his bag as a reminder to his friend of all the letters he had received that morning. "I hardly see the problem with me being warm."
"Well, maybe," Hermione said reluctantly. "Do you think there are a lot of new suitors in today's mail? Or just older ones wanting to remind you about themselves?"
Harry sighed in disgust and glared at his bag. "Both, I'm sure, but I bet half of them are from new suitors." He had received double the usual amount of mail this morning and he was not looking forward to responding to a bunch of latecomers.
"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry. I'd help you if you'd let me," Hermione said sadly.
"I know, Hermione. It's OK. I'll be fine," Harry replied with a small smile for his friend.
"At least the deadline is Thursday," she said hopefully. "You won't have to do this for much longer."
"No, then the fun will really start," Harry said cynically.
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked in alarm.
"Nevermind," Harry sighed, waving off her concern.
"But, Harry!" Hermione protested.
"Nevermind," Harry said again, shaking his head.
"But…" Hermione started again.
"He just means that he'll have to start the evaluations," Neville said, quickly interrupting the girl before she could annoy Harry. "He might not get anything from new suitors, but he'll still have to deal with all the current ones. Not only will they probably still send him letters and gifts but he'll have to start meeting with them as well."
"Oh, of course," Hermione said, a bit embarrassed. "I guess that will be just as bad in its own way, won't it?"
Harry shrugged and looked away. He both was and wasn't looking forward to Saturday. He was going to have to keep his magic open for a goodly number of hours and just the thought of thousands of other people's magic sliding across his own, even if only for a few moments each, made him shudder. On the other hand, he was hoping to eliminate a good third or more of the suitors with his tests.
With luck, the amount of mail he received should positively plummet come next week. Then again, maybe not. His first tests were going to allow him to summarily dismiss a lot of his suitors. He might just find himself inundated with angry letters holding various claims of "no fair!"
Merlin, he hoped not.
--HPDM--
"So what do you think is going to happen tomorrow?" Pansy asked from where she sat cross-legged on Draco's bed.
"I've no idea," Draco said with his head buried in his wardrobe. He seriously doubted he'd actually be meeting Harry face to face tomorrow, but he was going to dress nice anyway. The trick was that he had to dress nice but not so nice that people would get suspicious about why he was wearing such clothes for a simple Hogsmeade trip.
"You don't think you'll actually meet him, do you?" Pansy asked curiously.
Draco snorted and didn't bother to answer.
"Good," Pansy said approvingly. "I think you should wear that gray sweater Theo bought you for your birthday."
Draco looked over to his friend in disbelief. "What? Why? That has got to be the absolutely most boring thing I own. I don't know why I even keep it around."
"And that's why it's perfect," Pansy said firmly. "You're disguising yourself tomorrow so you don't want to wear anything that anybody will remember and subsequently associate with you."
Draco stared at his friend a moment then grimaced and dutifully dug out the offending garment and tossed in on the bed. "Anything else?" he asked sarcastically.
Pansy grinned at Draco's disgruntlement and said, "Yes, dear. You should wear those gray robes from last Christmas and a pair of dark gray trousers."
"Great," Draco said in disgust. "Boring and monochromatic." Nevertheless, he brought out the suggested clothing items, knowing that Pansy was right. He couldn't afford for anybody to realize that he had attended Harry's…whatever it was.
"You'll look gorgeous anyway, don't worry," Pansy reassured him.
Draco sighed but nodded and placed his choices off to the side in readiness for tomorrow.
"I'm worried about you, dear," Pansy said softly.
Draco looked up from his task then went over to his bed and sat next to his friend. "Don't be. You don't need to be. Everything's fine."
"You're putting so much into this and if you fail tomorrow…" Pansy said worriedly.
"Hush," Draco said and put a finger over Pansy's lips. "I'm only putting so much into this because I know I have a decent chance. And I won't fail tomorrow."
Draco pressed his finger more firmly to his friend's lips when she went to protest. "Ah, ah, ah. I know you think I've got some fantasy roaming around in my head, and I do, but I'm also being realistic about it. I know I can make a good impression if I get the chance."
Pansy moved Draco's hand away and said soberly, "You had a chance once, Draco, and see what came of it?"
"A chance ruined by the presence of a ruffian. Alone, I'm certain things would have been different," Draco asserted.
"Draco…" Pansy said in agitation but trailed off, unable to voice her concerns.
"Look," Draco said and brought his legs up to take his own cross-legged position on the bed. "Do you really think any of the other suitors know Harry as well as I do?"
"I don't think you know him that well," Pansy protested.
"I don't," Draco agreed, "But I know him better than any of the others, I think."
When Pansy simply looked at him doubtfully, Draco asked, "Whose presents does he open as soon as he gets them?"
"Maybe," Pansy conceded doubtfully. "I still say that's because of Nichol."
"The first time was certainly because of Nichol," Draco agreed, "But after? No, I'm sure it's because I've made a good impression in my letters and with my gifts."
"He does like your gifts," Pansy said with a small smile. "I'll give you that."
"Of course he does," Draco said smugly.
Pansy rolled her eyes. "I don't see how you know what to get him."
"It's easy," Draco avowed with an innocent expression. "I'm giving him the kinds of gifts that he wants and they're well thought out."
"How do you know?" Pansy asked in frustration. This was one question Draco hadn't been inclined to answer in the past month or so. "By all rights, he should have been dreadfully offended by the undergarments and none of the clothes you've sent have been all that remarkable. Prove to me you know him well enough to have a good chance tomorrow. Tell me why Harry Potter likes your gifts so much."
"Because they suit him," Draco said simply then held up his hands at Pansy's scowl. "Harry may dress worse than a Weasley but he likes nice things. I've seen him eye Finch-Fletchley's clothes, and Zabini's, and even mine. Everything I've sent him is all of the highest quality and of styles similar to those I've seen him admiring; no prints but lots of texture, unusual cuts instead of traditional styles, details like decorative stitching and fancy buttons but nothing flashy. Do you see?"
Pansy nodded thoughtfully. Yes, she did see. Now that she thought about it, the clothes she had seen Potter wearing on the weekends this past month were all like Draco had described, though they weren't all Draco's gifts. "And the undergarments? Why did he like those instead of getting offended?"
Draco got a serious expression on his face and said, "Because he didn't have any before."
"Of course he did!" Pansy protested.
"No, he didn't," Draco denied firmly.
"How would you know?" Pansy asked incredulously. "Were you spying on the Gryffindor locker room or something?"
Draco shrugged a bit and looked away. "I have various sources for that information." He did, too, and not one of them was from spying on the locker rooms. Well, not his spying on the locker rooms, at least. "Rest assured that Harry's disgusting wardrobe held not a single undergarment. That's why he liked them. That's why I sent so many instead of just a few."
Pansy was quiet. Draco only took that tone when he was he was dead certain. The thought that Potter may not have had any undergarments prior to Draco's gift was decidedly disturbing, so Pansy decided to drop that line of questioning completely. "And the ring? The book?"
Draco was just as willing to drop the subject and grinned and stood up to finish preparing for tomorrow. "The ring was for several reasons. One, Nichol prefers to land on a fist instead of a flat surface and there is no way anyone can take her claws without protection. Two, I figured Harry could use it when dealing with his own owl and whenever he did he would be reminded of me." Draco gave Pansy a pointed look.
"Yes, yes, all right," Pansy said in annoyance. "So he uses the ring every single day. Get on with it!"
"And is therefore reminded of me every single day," Draco said with a smirk. "Three, Harry likes practical, as evidenced by the attention he gives to different lessons. And, four, great-grandmother had it on hand."
Pansy blinked at the last reason before staring at her friend in shock. "You sent him a present because you had it on hand?" she asked in disbelief.
"Only partially," Draco said defensively. "The other reasons did come first, you know. And, besides, I'm sure I wasn't the only one."
Pansy shook her head in bemusement. "No," she said, "probably not."
"The book," Draco continued, setting out a novel to take with him tomorrow, "was because of his stated interest in other cultures. Pretty simple reason."
"He reads that all the time, you know. He and Granger read one chapter every night," Pansy said teasingly.
Draco grimaced. "While I would prefer he not share with anyone, I'm glad to know he likes it so much. I wish he'd talk more about which cultures he likes best, though."
"Why?" Pansy asked curiously. "Not that I won't try to find out for you."
"Because," Draco said shortly and set about casting shoe-shine charms on his boots.
Pansy raised her eyebrows but didn't question further. "Did you know that ever since he said Montgomery was his favorite author a couple weeks ago that he's been getting the different books of the series? You know the ones, the small books with the individual chapters."
Draco snorted, "I'm not surprised. I wonder if he'll get the whole series that way."
"He might," Pansy said, "Fifty-six different chapter books have already mysteriously ended up in the Hogwarts library."
"Really?" Draco asked in surprise, putting his boots aside. Pansy nodded and Draco shook his head. "Honestly, aren't these people capable of independent thought? Must they wait for these little tidbits from The Quibbler to get gift ideas?"
"I don't see why you're complaining," Pansy said in amusement. "It just means that you're better than them."
Draco tilted his head and thought a moment. Then he nodded, grinned, and said, "An excellent point, my dear. I withdraw my objections to their blatant mediocrity."
Pansy grinned back and offered, "Six different books about Elfrida Clagg have also mysteriously ended up in the library."
Draco laughed and returned to his friend. He took a seat on the bed and leaned back against one of the bedposts and stretched his long legs out in front of him. "How about ones on magical species conservation?"
"Not yet. But…," she said teasingly.
"But what?" Draco asked, smiling at his friend's antics, "Don't leave me hanging!"
"There are two copies each of eight different books on the rights of magical beings plus single copies of another twelve books," Pansy said.
"Merlin," Draco said with a grimace. "Any of them the good ones or are they all the popular tripe?"
"There's one copy of Beings," Pansy said with her own grimace. "Otherwise…"
"Lovely," Draco said with a sigh. "Platitudes without substance. Just what belongs in a school library."
"It's better than nothing," Pansy said adamantly with a scowl.
"True," Draco said, holding up his hands in surrender.
"Back to Potter's gifts," Pansy said firmly.
Draco raised an eyebrow and drawled out, "Yes?"
"He's received probably close to a thousand music marbles," Pansy said, "all of which he's kept so far though no one's heard him listening to them. Tons of books have come about kneazles, many of which have ended up in the library. He's received countless green shirts and robes and even quilts. Nearly every single cookbook he's received has ended up with the house elves…"
"What?" Draco interrupted in surprise.
Pansy gave him a superior look. "There's a reason we've had such lovely desserts this last month."
"But…" Draco said, trying to get his thoughts together.
"Evidently Potter has no intention of ever cooking in his life," Pansy said. "All cookbooks, and I do mean all, even the ones that weren't about desserts, have gone either straight to the house elves or else to the library. It seems he's giving the house-elves the first runs and the library the duplicates."
Draco narrowed his eyes thoughtfully at that piece of information. It made sense, really, given the information he'd received from his little friends. That knowledge tidbit could be quite useful.
"And," Pansy said with a flourish, "he's probably received enough green tea to last a decade."
"You know," Draco said slowly, "I wonder if he really does like green tea."
Pansy looked at him in surprise. "Why would you wonder that?"
"It might just be a way for him to reinforce the fact that he likes other cultures. That he likes oriental cultures, specifically. That he wants out," Draco said thoughtfully.
"Maybe," Pansy said dubiously. "But it could just mean that he likes green tea."
"Could be," Draco said with a smile for his friend. "Could be."
--HPDM—
Pansy ambled through the library, ostensibly looking for some off-the-wall topic to read about this week. She'd carefully cultivated a reputation for eccentric reading when she first arrived at Hogwarts. And she did read the books she picked up and checked out. The best cover was the truth, after all. What she was really doing, however, was walking by all the study rooms and eavesdropping for interesting tidbits of information to pursue.
So far today she'd picked up quite a number of rumors. McGonagall had an outside lover and that's why she looked younger – Pansy felt it was probably more likely that the woman had starting using some wrinkle-away cream. Flitwick had a new lover and that's why he was even more cheerful than usual – obviously none of the gossipers kept tabs on the man's dueling involvement and didn't know that Flitwick has just won the mid-senior dueling competition for Britain. There were several more rumors about students that had supposedly gained mysterious lovers – some of them she thought might actually be true. And, of course, there were the faithful reports on who was dating whom this week and the general free-for-all speculation about who had a crush on whom.
Then there was the talk about Potter. There was always talk about Potter, of course, but lately it was centered on Potter's Veela heritage. Most of the rumors were ridiculous and Pansy dismissed them utterly. The more sensible gossipers – and she wondered if that could be considered an oxymoron – proposed various scenarios as to how Potter had become a Veela. Some even seemed plausible.
Having learned nothing of new interest from her meanderings, Pansy left the library to meet with Padma, her link to Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, and Isolde, her link to Hufflepuff. She made her way leisurely to the kitchens, catching bits of conversation from passing schoolmates. As usual, she kept track of the paintings as she walked and just what bits of conversation were said in front of them; you never knew when it might be good to know just what others – and not just the headmaster and teachers – might be able to glean from the magical busybodies.
Pansy eventually made it to the kitchen with several minutes to spare. She sat at the small corner table and was immediately served a platter holding a good dozen different types of sweets. "This is lovely!" Pansy exclaimed. "You've had the best sweets lately. Is this from another of your new cookbooks?"
"Oh, yes, Missy Pansy!" the little elf said, its ears flopping about with the exuberance of its nodding. "The Great Harry Potter gives us two booksies on sweets yesterday!"
"That was very nice of him," Pansy said as she picked up a sweet decorated with purple sprinkles. "He must come down here often, then. Wasn't he here last week, too?"
The house-elf's ears started flopping again as it nodded. "He's be coming four timesies since Mondays."
"Do you enjoy his company?" Pansy asked politely and listened carefully as the house-elf expanded upon the wonders of The Great Harry Potter. She needed to do a lot of editing, but the house-elves were an amazing source of information. She nodded and exclaimed in all the right places to get the elf to keep talking until her friends arrived. Once they did, the little elf raced away and quickly brought back two more platters of sweets.
"We'll get fat eating all these," Padma said worriedly.
"Just wrap them up and take them back to your housemates," Pansy said, picking up a blue-sprinkled sweet this time. "Slowly, though, or we'll just have another too-tempting platter before us."
Padma and Isolde nodded and each picked up what appeared to be a lemon tart with candied lemon peel. This was a common start for them: complain, eat a few sweets, get down to business.
"So what is up with Mandy?" Padma asked as she surreptitiously wrapped her second and third lemon tart in a conjured napkin and placed them in her bag.
"Ethan dumped her," Pansy said with a sniff. "Said that she was too flighty."
"More like he wanted in her robes and she wouldn't let him," Isolde said disparagingly. "I heard him telling Justin that she wasn't worth pursuing because he hadn't even been able to get a kiss out of her in over a month."
"I told her that he was a boor and to watch out for him," Pansy said. "That's probably why she didn't allow him any liberties. Still, she kind of liked him and is a bit depressed that I turned out to be right."
It was Isolde's turn to sniff. "She's better off without him."
"Definitely," Pansy agreed. "What's up with Eddie?"
"His plant died," Padma said. "He's only going to get an acceptable for the herbology project even he gets an exceeds on the paper."
"Maybe he should have watered it," Isolde suggested and all three girls giggled.
They talked for a while about the love lives and scandals of their schoolmates before moving on to the love lives and scandals of various sports, music, and miscellaneous celebrities. Inevitably, they cycled through to Harry Potter.
"So, you want to hear the latest?" Padma said as she leaned forward conspiratorially.
The other two girls leaned in eagerly. They always talked about other things first, but all knew that Harry Potter and the latest scandals surrounding him were the juiciest tidbits. That's why they saved him until last.
Pansy diligently noted everything Padma said and carefully placed each fact in her mental file. There was nothing that was really new about the current Gryffindors. Weasley was still an idiot. Brown and Longbottom were still becoming closer to Potter. Ginny was still maintaining a causal friendship. Granger was still a friend and seemed to be getting better. No, the interesting bits were Potter's gifts and his responses to them.
The headmaster and the teachers weren't the only ones who watched Potter as he opened his mail. There were quite a number of students who now spent their free periods in the Great Hall watching Potter as he opened his letters and presents. The Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, by nature of the fact that they were able to sit closest, were always the ones with the most accurate reports. But Potter never talked during that time nor did he often have decipherable facial expressions. No, it was what he did later in the Gryffindor common room that was more interesting.
So Pansy listened closely, stockpiling information for when she could put it together into cohesive patterns that would tell her things, real things, about what was truly happening in the life of Harry Potter.