Silent Lamb

by xeveningx

In silence lay secrets that have haunted her for years and she's ready to give up everything in order to take them to her grave. At this point,there's nothing to make her waver.Or is there? In the end,it's her choice: unravel the truth and destroy everything she's come to love, or forever be the scapegoat and lose herself in the process? (Rated M for themes.)

11. Silencing the Lamb

Chapter Eleven:

Silencing the Lamb

---

"You hear that, Speirr?"

"Nope," Ceara called out making Cael laugh at her blatant reply. As they sat near the shores of Shika, the young boy of eleven sat fishing for sport while his baby sister ran and jumped around playing with the coming and going of the waters. Chuckling at her brother's giddiness, the little girl ran off to be closer to the waves as they washed to shore tiny bits of shells and smaller crabs. Barely four, Ceara really liked her fishing trips with her brother, especially because she got to pick up pretty shells that their father would make into necklaces or earrings whenever he returned from any military expeditions.

As tiny of a fishing city as it was, Shika had good natural borders that allowed it to be well protected from attacks and gave it purpose as a base to attack the Kou and Gai kingdoms further northeast. Despite knowing how on edge all was, the Ériu siblings knew happiness and some semblance of peace within each other's company. So Cael found himself with no qualms as he watched Ceara from his sit while she ran around picking shells or starfish into her dress skirt to bring them back to him.

Wanting to continue his previous conversation, Cael patted her head to get her attention before throwing out his line far towards the bright blue sea. "You don't hear the sound that life makes?"

"You say funny things, Cae-nii!" Ceara giggled before shoving a starfish into Cael's lap. The poor boy, despite his age, didn't like the crusty feel of the animal and cringed but didn't remove it as Ceara kept piling more of her findings into his lap.

"They're not funny, they're true," he countered with a nervous chuckle as Ceara laid a seaweed around his ankle.

"What do you hear?" she asked genuinely curious and turning to face him with a tilt of her head, her total attention on him.

Bright blue eyes like the ocean itself stared back at her stark ones before he replied. "Some...thing. It's not wind or the waves crashing onto the sand. Close your eyes, Ceara and listen." Obliging to her brother's request, the little girl shut her eyes tightly, making her nose scrunching up in the effort. "Now tell me what you hear."

"Waves."

"What else?"

"The people, the wind. Oh, and my tummy rumbling!"

Cael chuckled but remained somewhat serious as he asked again. "Anything else?"

"...I don't think so."

"Focus," he added fervently. "Don't pay attention to what you normally hear. When you do that, what do you hear?"

Ceara scrunched her nose more, a bit confused but did as she was told. Soon enough the different sounds she heard before faded into the background. Before she knew it, all she heard was nothing until the smallest of chirps came to her ears. She gasped, her eyes snapping open as more of those noises flushed through her eager eardrums.

"Birdies chirp-chirping! But not normal birdies."

Cael smiled. "It's soft and light, isn't it?"

"Like fluffy almond cakes!" Ceara added with a gleeful grin.

"Sure, fluffy almond cakes," Cael agreed and sat back as he plunged the end of his fishing rod into the sand. "But you can hear it, can't you?"

"Mm. What is it, Cael?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But mama could hear it too. Said it sounded like many birds flying about and chirping happily around everybody."

"Can people hear it?"

"No, Speirr. Not everybody. It's rare."

"Rare?"

"It's...special," he said, trying to find a good word. "There are special people who see and hear what the world's made of—those same birds you hear," Cael explained. Having read so much about mythical beings and magic, he knew some things about the subject. Enough, at least, to try to explain to her what he and their mother had been so attuned to. "But you don't see lots of those people around here."

"Why?"

"I don't know, actually," he said with a small smile. "What I do know is that it's a special gift from god."

"Do we have that gift too?" Ceara asked, curious.

"No," Cael replied with a wry smile. "Only those that can see it have a special gift. We can just hear it."

"Oh," Ceara answered a bit unamused by such blatant and anticlimactic answer. At least that had been what Cael thought until a bright grin came to Ceara's face. "Well that's okay! The birdies sound very nice. It's like they're singing!"

"It's a pretty song, huh?" he asked to which Ceara only nodded, enthused. Going away to pick up more shells, Ceara ran back and forth trying to pick the prettier ones as they came to shore and before the bigger waves took them away.

As the sunset came and their excursion would soon end, Cael watched as Ceara came with her last batch of findings. Her tiny hands held a sand dollar and inspected it. After a moment, though, she stopped and watched the air around them.

Curious, Cael asked her what was wrong to which she answered, "Does mama hear us from heaven like we hear the birdies?"

The sudden question caught him off guard but he reached out his hand to her which she took to mean that he wanted a hug. Letting go of the sand dollar, she jumped in to sit on his lap as they watched the sun fall signaling their time to leave for home. "She always told me about how pretty the birds' singing sounded to her and that she always thought how our laughter reminded her of their singing. So, yeah, I'm sure she can hear us. If she could hear the birds from here, surely, from where she is, she can hear us."

"That's good," Ceara muttered before taking a deep breath and cupping her hands against her mouth, "We're okay, mama! Cae-nii, Papa, and Speirr too! We're happy together, so no worries!"

"Yeah," Cael hummed, holding Ceara from behind in a hug and making his sister laugh giddily. "We're okay. And we're always going to be. So long as we're together and have each other, we'll be fine."

"You'll always be with Speirr, right Cae-nii?" she asked turning her head up to face him.

"Always," he answered and planted a kiss on her forehead. "And even if I'm not, I'll be like mama and always hear you and be with you even if you can't see me. No matter what."

---

Cael.

Ceara tightened her grip on the tautness that she had her arms wrapped around. It felt warm, comfortable, familiar, and it beckoned her, making her curl and bury her face against it. Doing so, she inhaled deeply feeling strangely calm but finding no smell of the salty sea or Cael's scent of mint and dirt. Instead what calmed her was the scent of the earth, the small sweetness of almonds—vanilla?— and the slight hint of spices. To her mind it was an odd combination—all three infused into one another almost equally—but nonetheless it infused some kind of serenity that she couldn't discern but appreciated very much.

As she buried her face in further to relish in the comfortable space that lulled her on, a sudden tug of what she held broke her out of her sleep for a second. A couple more finally got her to wake up and she slowly released what she had from her arms and instead grasped at the ends of it tightly with her hands.

Ceara buried her face a couple seconds more before groggily opening her eyes and looking up at the deep voice that came to her ears. "Good, you're awake."

"Mm…" It wasn't really an answer since she hadn't really registered what had been said. But as she began to wake fully, she noted the deep stare from red irises that bore into her own.

Red? No, crimson...and gold.

"...Kouen?"

"Obviously," he replied with a small sigh as his gaze left her to stare down at whatever he held in his lap.

"What are you doing…" she muttered with a yawn she covered with one hand before continuing. "...my room?"

"Yours?" A small scoff escaped him but he didn't tear his eyes away from what she now recognized to be a scroll on the hollow between crossed legs. "You are still half asleep, it seems. We're in the study."

"...stu…" Words failed her, so instead her eyes scanned the room. Instead of finding the silks and vibrant colors of her room as she had come to expect, Ceara saw nothing but shelves upon shelves of scrolls and bound books from all corners of the world. Oh.

His study. Why…?

"How…?" she asked but began remembering in the middle of her question. Food—dinner with Kougyoku. Not only her though; Kouen and Koumei went too. Kouen wanted to talk and they came here. They talked—he kept talking and she…

"I fell—"

"Asleep," Kouen finished for her. The out of the blue comment made Ceara turn to him but instead got distracted by her hands still holding the sleeve of his robes firmly in her grip.

"Oh," is all her brain could come up with as she let go and brought her arm back to herself. "Sorry." Glancing behind her, she noticed that she sat with her back against the windowsill sit, the cushions tossed haphazardly about. One was behind her back and another between her legs and she saw a couple cushioning Kouen as he sat beside her while the rest laid where they might have fallen. Leaning against her hands, Ceara was surprised to feel a soft woolen quilt pooled beneath her. It matched the cushions. "What's with...all this?"

"You wouldn't let go," he simply said and sighed tiredly as he let his scroll rest against his lap to roll his neck back and forth. Ceara cringe at the small yet audible popping she heard coming right next to her ear. "I had to improvise for both of our conveniences."

"Wouldn't let…" Ceara groaned and rubbed at her eyes. Oddly enough, she didn't feel them as itchy as last night but they still felt heavy. But her body and head didn't ache; all that was left was a sense of rest. At recognizing that sensation, she also recognized the reason for it. "I slept through the night?"

"Almost," he corrected as he began to roll the scrolls closed. "You had fits through the night. But that's here nor there. It's almost noon and—"

"Noon?!"

The shriek Ceara let out made Kouen flinch as she jumped up to stand and turn fully to the window. Just as he said, the sun was high in the sky illuminating everything in sight. Even from outside, the heat of Balbadd's spring could be felt and it only assured her of the time it was.

Time. So much lost time that she should have been working to fix things was lost. She groaned and turned on her heels ready to leave. Halfway through the study she skidded to a stop and bounced back around just as Kouen stood up and rolled the rest of his sore muscles. He'd stayed there—with me—the whole of last night most likely in uncomfortable positions. He'd lost hours of work just like she had and his weren't any less important than hers—some would argue the contrary even.And here he stayed all the same.

Trotting back to his side, Ceara bent down and began helping him clean the mess that she had made by falling asleep there. Her mind wandered a bit on how she'd ended up near the windowsill or how she wound up having held him as she slept—embarrassing as that thought is—but her hurry quickly raced the thoughts away. There wasn't time to waste for either of them. More in a hurry that he seemed to be, Ceara helped put most of the scrolls onto his desk and put together the windowsill sit more or less how it had been when Kouen waved at her dismissively.

"Go."

"Yes. Sorry about this," she said with a small bow before trotting away, holding her white hanfu that was now wrinkled and somewhat dirty. Another thought entered her busy mind that made her turn one last time and walk to stand before Kouen as he stood in front of his desk. Having to look up to meet his gaze, Ceara took what her mind thought up and spoke without filtering through first. "Thank you for talking to me when you're this busy and for not waking me when you should have."

"I didn't have—"

"I know," she agreed unable to stop herself. "Which is exactly why I'm saying this. You did it when you didn't have to and it ended up becoming a nuisance. It was kind of you—what I'm trying to say is that I'm really grateful, so just say 'you're welcome' so we can both go on and salvage what we can of the day."

The words made his eyes slightly widen but he hid it pretty well before nodding. "You're welcome."

"I'll be leaving now," she declared, still in the same hurry as before. Picking the skirts of her hanfu, she jogged out of the study and straight to her quarters where her handmaidens and Seijin were already in wait. No one, not even the guards that met her outside her room to let her in, was shocked at her late appearance or the absence of her throughout the night.

After she bathed and as the girls helped her get ready for the rest of what would surely be a busy day, Seijin kept telling her each and every idea he had come up with through the night and that morning about their predicament with the orphan houses and the status of the memoirs. The memoirs weren't in much peril—some soldiers were refusing their inclusion due to gossip but after encouragement from others, as per Seijin's accounts, they had willingly given their narratives.

"Are you sure it was willingly?" she asked as she waved away a couple of handmaidens. The young girls wanted to put her hanfu a certain way, something that she could guess was fashionable nowadays, but Ceara had grown accustomed of dressing herself and Kohaku a certain way. It had stuck after doing it for so long and felt more comfortable that way.

"Yes," Seijin assured with a flap of his quill in her general direction. The poor boy had his back to her only because they had been talking all through the expanse of her bath and her getting dressed. Despite the embarrassment and bashfulness of his, he was professional enough to know that they had a limited number of hours in a day and that their problems needed to be fixed quickly and efficiently. "I myself made certain of that. Went and triple-checked."

"I believe you," she said as the handmaidens pestered her with what she would like to eat. She asked for whatever would be easiest for them and as soon as they were gone, she turned to Seijin. "The houses' financial problems: what other ideas did you come up with?"

Seijin promptly began naming them off, each and every one in detail, but even after a couple more hours debating his ideas and whatever she managed to come up with on the spot, there was nothing better on the table. Every one of their plans came with a downside that would affect the houses negatively. Even when she also suffered loses, the orphan houses seemed to suffer greater ones.

"There has to be a way," she muttered tapping her red feathered pen against the papers full of scratched out numbers and words.

"Maybe relocate them to Shika and Rakushou?" Seijin suggested.

"No," Ceara replied, quickly shutting that down. "Shika is full and renovations will cost more. Even the ones in Rakushou are undergoing reconstruction after some damages they endured from the last storm that hit the city a few weeks ago." She stood and leaned against her desk, tapping the end of Beleth's Metal Vessel against the paper and letting the ink taint it more. Her eyes peered the paper as if some answer would magically appear but she knew none would. Not now at least with how they were. With a heavy sigh, Ceara smiled and lifted her gaze to meet Seijin's. "Go rest, Jin."

"Young miss?"

"You've been up all night, haven't you?" she asked. The boy didn't respond but he didn't need to. The dark circles underneath his eyes and the fact that he had come up with enough ideas to last them hours said enough about his work ethics.

"But you need help."

"Not at the expense of your health, I don't," she argued and smiled. "Go sleep. And when you wake up, go eat and take the rest of today off. You're done for the day. I'll continue with this and we can reconvene the brainstorming session tomorrow."

"Morning or afternoon?" he asked.

"I'll be sure to be up by morning, don't worry." Ceara dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "Thank you, Jin. Now go rest. It's enough with one of us half here and half asleep."

A small scoff escaped him but he nodded, any qualm of his having been pushed aside by those last words. "Then I'll see you later, young miss."

"Rest well, Seijin. You did good today."

---

The young boy was restless as more days went by and they seemed nowhere closer to solving their problems. Despite his master's best efforts to calm his rising anxieties of what they were facing, he could see how much of a toll everything was having on her and how unbalanced her recovery from whatever had happened in Magnostadt was.

Seijin wasn't blind or deaf; he knew something wasn't right and could see the highs and lows that his master was undergoing after a couple of weeks came and went.

The young vassal knew the young miss for the bright and easy going person he'd come to know, the same one that had taken him in almost a year ago; that side of her had become quite scarce, however, after the day she had been away in Magnostadt fighting and only seemed to come exclusively for certain things. Despite her ban from contact with the Imperial family of which he had been informed of upon their arrival, the young miss didn't seem too bothered by it. As it was, the ban was seamlessly falling out on its own the more time she spent talking with the First Prince, almost completely disappearing as time went by. Now, she could spend time with the Eighth Princess which actually seemed to help with her sleepless nights and bouts of starvation he had seen her have. Not only that but she had just recently been allowed contact with her own family after they had left for the Tenzen Plains. Her sending letters back and forth helped her mental health that he'd seen crumble at times. He managed the delivery of them through the magicians' court—aside from contact with her siblings, though, he also saw letters to the Third Prince and even to the Fourth. At first, only a few responses came from the latter two. After a while, Prince Kouha came to respond whenever she would write him but in the same span, Prince Hakuryuu's correspondence ended rather abruptly. Seijin noted her worried look when it stopped but didn't question it.

Times like those made her seem almost like before, normal. But that seemed to completely change on a dime at times, too; those were the lows he saw.

Those were the times when she was a bundle of nerves from her work or otherwise, the times when sleeping spells overtook her and rendered her helpless for a couple hours of the day. Times when she declined Kougyoku on her invitations to eat, and times when she would work through the night and into the morning. Time when she spent nights at the First Prince's study only to arrive later in the day where Seijin and she would work tirelessly through what hours they had left of the day. She looked rested but struggled to keep focus on a single subject without properly being reminded of it every so often. Her mind was scattered, it seemed to him, struggling to decide what needed her attention most.

Seeing her like that made his worry grow bigger than he could manage. Seijin was glad that he could at least voice these worries to someone that could actually do something about them.

"Anything else?" Kouen asked once the young boy was done explaining all he had witnessed of his master in the last couple of weeks. Prince Koumei stood by his brother's side as the two listened to what he had to say about his master. Seijin didn't particularly like the fact that he had accepted to be their informant on what the young miss did but he also knew there was no room for objections. All the same, however, he knew when things were better off left unsaid—specifically her correspondence with Prince Hakuryuu.

"Nothing else worth mentioning, your highness," Seijin stated, not technically lying. "Her work and meetings with your highness have taken the whole of her days and the young miss seems to be struggling to keep up with maintaining her personal health as it is. It is worrisome to say the least."

"What work exactly?" Koumei asked. The young vassal eyed the second prince for a brief second. Prince Koumei had once been quite close to Seijin's master but just like many things after Magnostadt, their relationship of tutor and student had deteriorated in the span of a short day.

"Of the Reizei Household," Seijin replied. Again not technically a lie. What she did consisted of helping the people of Shika and those of Rakushou and Balbadd which she did through her status as the second daughter of the Reizei Household and successor of the Southern Army General. "Because the young master is away and Lady Masami is coming to Balbadd to see her family, Shika and the subsidies that were given to the family after the Master's death were given to her and she has had her hands full dealing with them."

A quiet came over the council room that Seijin didn't like at all. Thankfully, it wasn't anything foreboding like he had thought. They believed his word and Prince Kouen promptly dismissed him. Seijin excused himself and was about to walk out of the room when he noticed the time of day—afternoon. His master had said she would have lunch with the young princess: today would be a high. But it wouldn't last long, of that he was sure. After all she had explicitly taken Princess Kougyoku on her offer for lunch because she wanted to spend more time brainstorming in the evening. But after weeks of doing it, he was beginning to see how even their conjoined ideas were becoming quickly exhausted.

There were few things left to explore but he doubted any would reach the expectations she had for the houses. And despite her wish to keep the government out of these specific matters, Seijin knew when he was facing a losing battle. She would need help other than his. Help that could actually do something of value.

Turning towards them, Seijin caught the puzzled look of Prince Koumei and the raised eyebrow of Prince Kouen. It was frightening and unnerving to ask something of them, especially when his status was nothing in their eyes. But if this could ameliorate his master's struggles then he would risk the punishment for insubordination.

"Was there anything else you had to say?" Prince Koumei inquired.

"No," he confessed and quickly spoke before fear could strangle him to silence. "But there is something I would like to ask for my master."

"What about her?" Kouen asked.

She will hate me for this. But if it helped…

"Her work—it's more personal for her than I first led on. It's in jeopardy of being halted and we are running out of ideas to keep it afloat."

"What exactly are you asking?" Koumei inquired seemingly peeved at his roundabout speech.

Seijin took a deep breath before he let it all out, "For help."

---

A month had run by in a flash for Ceara and it had been more hectic than she could have ever imagined it could be. The whole of it had been so inconsistent without a routine, more of a go-with-the-flow agenda with every day to day. The idea of such irregularities had wrecked havoc on her health but few things salvaged her decaying mind.

Talking being a major part of what did. Ceara talked to whomever she could about mindless things to ease herself into the idea of merely talking. Mostly, though, talking to Kougyoku and sending letters back and forth between Kouha and Hakuryuu and the twins helped. But because of how little Kougyoku knew—how little Ceara had been able to tell her with what courage she could muster to do it—they could only help so much. What did most of the heavy lifting in helping her get more acquainted with her issues and in finding some kind of a solution was talking with Kouen. He was the only one who knew it all and was actively helping her find a solution.

Despite their time restraint, Ceara could tell he was trying his hardest to meet with her at least every other day to speak and if he couldn't afford to give her time, then every evening after dinner. Slowly but surely, Ceara could feel herself becoming comfortable with the idea of her shortcomings. And although she knew she would never truly be prepared to what the twins' reaction would be, she was assured, at the very least, that she wasn't going to face this alone.

For all the good it was doing, she could tell that working so hard on her mental health had cost her great time that she could have used to work on the issues that had cropped up over the weeks on her personal projects. The Balbadd house remained unbuilt with no resources or capital to built it with, and the houses in Shika and Rakushou weren't better with how the recent storms had hit them. Over the weeks, though, the orphan houses weren't the only thing being threatened to collapse if something wasn't done. Her memoir as well had began to suffer because of the people. Gossip had traveled fast from within Balbadd's palace walls to the soldiers and even back to Rakushou. Soldiers, veterans, and even families of the deceased had began questioning what her real intentions with their accounts were. More blatantly, some had even accused her of being a spy for the Imperial family against the common people—her ultimate goal to obtain any information of insurgent activity within the military under the guise of a memoir.

The idea sounded ludicrous even to her.

People's minds can be so easily manipulated by false information. And it seemed that it was false information and gossip that spread the fastest.

That's why she had announced a few days ago that there would be a gathering for the Kou soldiers stationed in Balbadd, to any and all Kou citizen in Balbadd's soil interested actually, in order to fully disclose what her intentions were with their accounts and the future of the orphan houses stationed over their eastern cities. She and Seijin had worked on a memorandum to convince them to show to the meeting by promising to answer any and all questions they would have concerning the projects she had started with their help. She hoped that by being inclusive of their worries and doubts that she would be able to dispel them with the truth.

"And the truth is the right answer, my king," Beleth assured her as she dressed for the afternoon meeting she had set. Because she anticipated that many would attend, it would be held in the training grounds near the barracks were a crowd could be held without calling much attention. Many a crowd often came and went to the training grounds of the foot soldiers, so she hoped to not bring any unnecessary attention from political officials with the location. "You have worked endlessly this past month learning this. Surely it will show."

"They will listen for sure," Marbas added with a gleeful snort. "You're way too passionate to not be sincere about it!"

As she dressed in a simple blue and white hanfu, she felt Murmur's warmth as she reached down to her hairpin to place in her hair. "They're right, little one. Once they hear you, they shall understand. Sincerity is much too blatant in your words where this is concerned."

Ceara knew they were right because that was exactly what she felt. She had worked hard even before all this to make these projects work. Selfishly as they had started, they had evolved to mean something to her and she wouldn't let them fall apart. Not without a fight.

Before he even entered, Ceara heard Seijin approach her door, knock and enter after she had acknowledge him. The young boy smiled telling her that everything was ready and that people had already began to show, filling the unused training grounds almost immediately.

"It worked," he said, brushing a hand through his golden locks and sweeping them back. Dark mossy green eyes stared back at her and she noted some sort of nervousness in his gaze. "They're here."

"And we will give our piece," she said with a smile, patting him on the shoulder to assure him as they exited her room. The detail she had grown to expect waited outside to no surprise.

The maids hid their faces behind their sleeves and averted their gazes while the guards attempted to look as presentable as they could before speaking. "We would like to attend, General. All of us, if you would so allow it."

Ceara smiled and nodded. "My invitation was to all who wanted to listen; if you are willing, then you have no reason to ask." With that she walked past them with Seijin close behind her. Soon after, she began hearing the tapping of their feet as they followed them to the barracks and into the training grounds.

The sight she saw before her at entering was unnerving to say the least. As soon as she stepped into the building, the room became quiet, any noise rushing out like a wave leaving shore. The people parted ways giving her ample of room to walk to the forefront were a small area was cleared for her on the second floor balconies which were used for overwatching the training of others. Once there, Ceara gave herself a second in order to acclimate and look over the crowd she had gathered with a simple notice: soldiers and citizens alike had come, even citizens originally from Balbadd.

Because she wanted her memoir to include as much of the history of their soldiers as it could, she had begun to spread her search for stories further than just Kou military. After her arrival to the capital almost over a year ago, her interest and curiosity had been piqued because of the different arrays of soldiers that had come to be that she wasn't aware of. From Kouha's magic unit and vanguard, to Hakuei's entire Kouga Clan Household, Ceara realized that a military's history spanned to more than just its own soldiers. It also included those who joined after the fact because they saw value in their cause. Those people were there too, curious and wanting their doubts and questions answered.

And I'll try my hardest to do that.

"It pleases me that so many of you have willingly come here at my request." She didn't give herself time to hesitate and began with a voice that spoke over all the crowd. Despite her nervousness, she knew that they deserved to be heard. Most of all, she wanted to listen and be heard all the same. "I won't dawdle; you all came here for a reason. Be it curiosity or doubt, you are here to be heard as am I. And if you will allow me to speak, I can assure you it will be succinct. So I ask, will you allow me the first word?"

She awaited for a moment and found many heads nodding, some verbally telling her to speak. Ceara took a deep breath before she continued. "All that you have heard—all the gossip that has been spreading the past month—I assure you none of it is true. Although I can see how my word would be the least believable in this kind of situation, I wish for you to at least listen. The reason I search for all of your accounts—from soldiers, their families, and those who have survived—is because I wish for your story to be told."

Disharmonious whispers began to spread like wildfire. They were quiet but she could discern nothing because of their sheer amount. Instead she quieted them as she went on, "I know what you go through—how you lose husbands, fathers, brothers, cousins, and sons to a war and cause the Imperial family started and to which my own family is a part of. A war for unity, for peace. But that is not what drives me to do this; what does is seeing how those same husbands, fathers, brothers, cousins, and sons remain unnamed, their efforts and deaths left to fade away with time. I have witnessed soldiers accomplish astounding feats of bravery, camaraderie, and selflessness. All for a better future for their country and for their loved ones. They fight for a purpose, one that I have seen lost one too many times, never to be seen again. And I am ashamed to say that I have forgotten many who have helped me, many who have sacrificed themselves because they believed in me and I couldn't live up to their expectations."

The hold she had on the railings in front of her tightened, her knuckles turning white at remembering a certain battle. "Almost a year ago, I committed one of the biggest mistakes I could ever have done as a general: my inadequacies, inexperience, and ultimately my recklessness resulted in the loss of many great soldiers. Soldiers who trusted me with their lives; soldiers whose families may even be among you today." A few muffled cries reached her and it made Ceara stop for a brief second to search the crowd. But even doing so proved useless. She couldn't see any faces she recognized at first glance. But knowing they were there helped make it real. "Families whom I have reached to so that they could tell the story of their loved ones. I have reached to those who are still fighting and to those who have fought because I know that no one deserves to disappear. I don't wish for their efforts, for yours, for anybody's, to be lost without recognition. I want for future generations to know that the peace that will come to be, the peace they live in, came to be not just because of a handful of great, powerful leaders. No, I want them to realize that it came to be because those leaders joined together with the people in their country. That it was the people themselves that fought valiantly and ceaselessly and united for that future. That all of you here, those who have passed, and those to come matter."

We matter.

"You matter," she repeated louder, letting her voice resound through the crowded room. "And I want the world and all to know your stories. We may not choose who lives or who dies, but we can make sure they are all remembered. And I know for a fact that this isn't a job I can do alone. Far from it. This is something that I need all of your help in which is why I ask of you to stand united to help me. Together we can create the narrative of a century for generations to come. Together we can make sure no one disappears from history ever again. And I won't let anybody erase what we will create. No matter what I have to do, I won't let anybody else's existence fade away or be forgotten."

This is why Kouen and Koumei are wrong. Rewriting history and letting all that ever happened be erased...is wrong. I know that neither of them will agree. But that's okay.

So that people like my father, like Cael, like Kohaku will never be forgotten, I will go against what you believe. Everybody needs to know the truth—I know that now—and I can show them, teach them, how to never let their memory fade away.

There was silence for a brief second. Abruptly, a couple of soldiers, ones Ceara recognized from the detail that had been assigned to her, shouted their agreement, telling her to tell their story. More voices joined, the crowd soon shouting in unison the three words, the noise hurting her sensitive ears. She didn't care for the pain though. It gladdened her way more that her words and sincerity had reached them. Her chest tightened from the happiness of having conveyed her thoughts to them, the reality of what she wanted to do being louder than the lies being spread.

But as she tried to quiet them down, she began hearing protests from others. These protests grew in volume the same way the cheering had before it. Soon the two opposing sides began arguing amongst themselves and no matter what she did, they wouldn't cease their shouting.

"This is getting out of hand," Seijin shouted over the ruckus. Ceara nodded, having heard him over the ruckus even as she covered her aching ears.

Taking Beleth's Metal Vessel, she used some of his power to mimic the magic tools she had seen developed in Rakushou. Augmenting the vibrations for a broader range, she only needed to raise her voice a slight octave before telling them to stop. That itself was enough to silence them and get their attention back. Returning to her normal voice, she glanced down at the protesters and asked about their qualms. Many came at once but she managed to organize them as they each spoke in turn. She took their questions and did her best to answer them. To some she could easily answer, others not so much and she admitted that to them. Although some didn't like that she had no concrete answer to their questions, the majority understood that she wouldn't have an answer to everything. It helped make things easier that they were actually open to listen.

After a good half an hour of conversing with them, Ceara finally found herself confronted with one of the issues she truly had no answer to still.

"I've heard word of the orphan houses that you built in the cities of Shika and Rakushou." The statement had come from a young woman, one holding an even younger boy by the hand as she stood beside a group of women. From the looks of them, Ceara could tell they were those left helpless after their families had died. They were the widows, the orphans, the people she could most relate to and understand. The young woman shifted her weight between her feet anxiously before speaking again, "There were rumors of one establishing in Balbadd. Is that true? Are you going to help us too?"

Ceara smiled but she tried her best to hide the bitterness that she felt rise at hearing the girl's expectant voice. "I…"

Go with the truth for once.

"It's true that I wish to establish one here for those left without a place or family," she admitted but smiled wryly as she prolonged the words she didn't want to speak. "But as things stand now, I don't think—"

"As she stands now, her efforts alone will not enable her to build such institution."

All heads turned at the deep voice that Ceara knew all too well to not recognize. Lowering her head towards the entrance, she saw as the multitude of people she had brought together saluted and bowed behind them—some reluctantly, others with respect—to the opened doors of the training grounds. The crowd parted to allow both Kouen and Koumei passage to where she stood. As they climbed the stairs to the side of the balconies where she and Seijin were, Ceara couldn't keep her eyes from the two as they came to stand before her.

Kouen's gaze never left hers as they approached them while Koumei eyed the crowd that stood below them. Unable to understand, Ceara mouthed inconsistencies unable to make up her mind on what to say. As if entertained, Kouen scoffed and a guttural sound came from his throat that sounded akin to a cough. Hearing it, Ceara's brow furrowed recognizing that as his odd version of a chuckle. That itself made her snap out of her stupor and allowed her to focus on one single question.

"What are you doing here?"

The inquiry made him raise an eyebrow as he stood before herm making her crook her neck back to meet his piercing gaze. "As patron of this project of yours, I am allowed to join in on these meetings, aren't I?"

"Patron?" she repeated in a mutter, equal parts astounded and confused. Before he could answer, though, Seijin's let his voice rise above the confusion in spite of his stutter.

"P-Prince Kouen and Prince Koumei have agreed to fund the establishment of Balbadd's orphan house and to also help support the ones already built in Shika and Rakushou," he explained as he shifted his weight nervously on either foot.

"What?" she called out, furious at this. Turning to the young boy, he cowered and took a step back to avoid her anger. But he wasn't getting away that easily. "Explain yourself."

"Your vassal told us about your little 'plan,'" Koumei spoke, stepping forth from beside his brother and saving Seijin from having to explain in the process. "He also explained in detail about how you were suffering financially to support them."

"Suffering…" Ceara groaned and held the bridge of her nose to keep the headache from expanding further than her head. But it didn't matter now. Not when they knew and it had been her vassal who'd clearly told them. "Seijin, why?"

The blonde simply shifted on his feet before returning her gaze. She wasn't mad anymore; if anything, she was more disappointed that he failed to consult her before making such a rash deicision. There was a good reason why she had fought hard to keep this under wraps and away from the government. And he more than anybody understood that reason.

"I'm really sorry, young miss," he said, his cheeks slightly dusted pink in shame. "I know what you've always told me, but I couldn't bare seeing you struggle anymore. You worked too hard and spent too much time on this for it all to fall apart. I know this is the last thing you wanted but I saw no other way to help."

"I don't understand why you are making such a commotion about it," Kouen confessed with a long sigh. "This fixes the problems Seijin spoke of. It gives you liberty to focus on what is more important and that certainly lightens both our loads. Besides, this was explicitly and extensively conferred between Koumei a and myself. We both agreed this would not bring any trouble."

"This is important," she corrected him still annoyed and slightly less angry than before. "It's because I know how governmentally run facilities function that I left this as an anonymous project. I know who you appoint and with what purpose they work for." And she absolutely didn't want old, aristocratic geezers that didn't care anything about the people to control what she had worked so hard for.

"Don't misinterpret," Koumei replied with a furrow of his brow. "My brother and king subjected me to reading through the instructions you proposed for this little project of yours and we arrived at a consensus. To give government officials power over a system you have carefully and diligently crafted would put it all to waste. My brother and king and I have agreed that it would be wiser to leave you as head developer instead."

"That's ludicrous," she mumbled under her breath unable to believe her problems could be solved to easily. "You're giving me resources and power even though—" Her lips pursed when her mind almost let some information slip through. "Even though you're aware of certain things, you're still willing to give me resources that amount to so much? I find that hard to believe."

"As do I," Koumei assured her with a sigh but the fact that his gaze averted to his side where Kouen stood told Ceara something about who'd actually made the decision on it. "But if my brother and king deems it harmless enough, then I have no reason to oppose."

Really? It's really...that simple?

"Young miss, they're waiting," Seijin's call made her turn about to see him as he stood over the railing to look down where the crowd had heard some of the exchange the four of them had had. It was clear that they had heard but it also seemed like they were awaiting for some kind of confirmation from her.

Ceara pursed her lips in an attempt to get time to think of what to say. After a couple of minutes, she turned to address the expectant crowd. "Their highnesses, Prince Kouen and Prince Koumei, as you have heard, have agreed to fund our efforts. His highness was correct, I alone cannot do this anymore. I have not the sufficient resources to do so. But with their help, it is possible still. With their help…" Her stark blue eyes came to the young woman from before as she and the little boy looked expectantly at her as if hanging by her every word.

She wondered if that was how she looked at Sousei and Suisei.

Shaking that thought away, she finished what she had started. "With their help, the facility that I initially intended to be built in Balbadd will happen." Almost in the fraction of a second it took for Ceara to say that, the faces of the women and children brighten. "And as I have given this personally to overlook, I will assure you that these facilities will be as well crafted as the main houses near and in the empire's capital. There will be no discrimination from me, that I can guarantee you."

Cheers rose from those same people and the soldiers from before joined them. It shocked her that this had gone as well as it had but she was nonetheless glad about the outcome. It had taken time but they understood. She smiled before addressing them one last time. "This will be a joint effort all the same. The memoirs can only come to be if I have your anecdotes. The houses will function under the management of volunteered caregivers. I can only provide the resources and methods, you all are the ones truly responsible for making such improbable idea come true. So let's continue helping each other to make all this a reality for our future."

For a brief second there was a quiet that sent chills down her spine as they all saluted her with a bow, citizens of Kou and Balbadd alike. It seemed like they found a common ground with her ideals, and Ceara only wanted it to remain as such. She could only do so much without their help. So long as they were willing, this would work like it had for so long.

With all she had wanted to say said, she dismissed the crowd. It wasn't until it had greatly dissipated that she saw Kouen and Koumei leave and head back to the palace. Calling Seijin to follow, the two went after them as they headed to Kouen's private study. Despite what had happened and the fact that she was grateful for their help, there was still a part of her that wanted answers.

Once they arrived and everyone came to a full stop—Koumei to the side of the desk where his brother sat and Seijin beside her as the two of them stood before their royalty—Ceara didn't hesitate to ask.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Again…" Kouen muttered unable to believe her obstinence at the subject. "Was the explanation given not enough?"

"No," she replied sincerely. "Especially when I know there would have to be a good reason for Koumei to agree to such lenient use of a part of Kou's economy." Having spent enough time with the second oldest prince to know, Ceara couldn't deny that it had been a little too easy for him to agree. Koumei, like Kouen, believed in practicality over sentimentality and sentimentality was the raw definition of her project. Hence it was understandable why she found it hard to believe he would agree so willingly to give up a quarter of a million huang to her cause.

"That my brother and king asked it of me is reason enough," Koumei corrected as he hid his lower face with his fan. "That you cannot understand such simple concept is beyond my powers to teach."

"Fine, mock me," Ceara called out with a furrowed brow. "But I want my answer: why are you helping me?"

"No specific reason that would make sense, of that I can assure you," Koumei answered with a heavy yawn that made him lower his fan. This made her groan since it wasn't an answer itself.

"You've had your time to ask questions," Kouen announced as that conversation quickly ended. "Now I have mine. Seeing as the Imperial family is endorsing this, I want to see for myself what kind of project you have seemingly undergone for the past two years."

She had no reason to answer when they themselves had not. But Ceara couldn't dismiss the fact that they had just financially saved something she was glad hadn't fallen into ruin. So instead of arguing like she usually would, she opted to give them the benefit of the doubt and answer instead. "All right, I'll yield. What is it you want to know?"

"Everything."

The answer itself made her groan in frustration but the logical part of her that knew him best told her that he wasn't kidding. On the contrary, actually. So instead she turned to Seijin but before she could ask anything, she stopped to look at the fidgety boy in front of her. He was a ball of nerves and it made her remember what he had done. Seijin, her vassal, had gone behind her back and done what she had explicitly asked him to never do.

And yet he saved my ass.

It proved her point from long ago: she was prone to err. She could see how her arrogance to fix this by herself could have come between the projects' original purpose to help. So instead of the scolding he was surely expecting, she raised her hand and patted his head before ruffling his hair. When the boy struggled to speak out of sheer confusion, Ceara chuckled and patted his head again.

"You did what you thought was best, Jin. It turns out you were right," she declared. "You did well. Now, it seems our patron wants to see our work so far. Would you go and retrieve everything we have?"

Seijin stared wide-eyed at her, his mossy green eyes unblinking until he recognized the pardon she'd given him. With a small grin, he nodded and left the room sprinting. Knowing that two years worth of work would take a long time to explain, she began taking armchairs and bringing them closer to the desk that she intended to use.

Offering one to Koumei, she saw him refrain from sitting and turned to him with pursed lips. "It's obvious that you still doubt me."

"With good reason, Ceara of Ériu," he answered straight away. He was never one to prattle, much less than his brother. "And with good reason. I have searched wide for any record of your existence."

"And you're vexed as to why any record of Ceara of Ériu ceases to exist about thirteen years back," she finished for him.

Of course it would be about that. Kouen sought out the truth personally when he couldn't find it—his approach was always more brusque and upfront. Koumei's was the complete opposite. He searched first on his own and confronted only if necessary which rarely happened since he had a gift for research. Ceara had always found it odd that the second prince could be so versatile with his resources; there was no question he could have that a mere search would not answer. Understanding that gave Ceara a good idea of what had him so irritated with her aside from her impersonation.

So instead of dawdling and giving him nothing, Ceara chose to give him what he asked for if he wanted it. "I did my best to make it like that. Marked the grave and all."

"I am aware," Koumei said as he tapped his chin with his fan. "The grave was found near the shores of Shika marked as 'Ceara of Ériu.' Tell me, are any real remains resting there or is it a mere vacant slot?"

"It has remains," she confessed with a shrug of her shoulders. "I scoured what was left of the fire after we returned to Shika. It wasn't much if anything really but I thought it would be better than an empty marked grave for her." Ceara turned to Kouen and gave him a half-crooked smile, "Couldn't help keep what I told you to yourself?"

"I don't keep secrets from him," Kouen told her certainly sounding genuien. "He knows what needs to be said and what should never be spoken of again. This is clearly the latter."

"I hope you can do so," Ceara said facing Koumei.

"I have no intentions of letting anything of what I was told be known." The second prince finally took a sit on his chair and languidly laid back as if overtly showcasing his exhaustion. "There would be no merit."

"I beg to differ," Ceara responded.

"Even if it did," Koumei corrected with a wave of his hand, "if my brother and king wishes for it to remain unsaid, then I will oblige. It's bothersome enough to know and have to keep it hidden; it's much easier if I just pretend I know nothing."

Ceara couldn't help but chuckle at that simple answer. He saw no merit in the knowledge he had of her, and even if he did, because of Kouen, he was willing to forget he knew anything at all. Truly, they were more united than they let on to be.

"Then I thank you regardless of your intentions," Ceara admitted. Her head slightly turned towards the doors as she heard the faint footsteps that were quickly approaching the study. "Really, Koumei, you have no idea what this means to me."

"I have some idea," he said and both he and Kouen turned to the doors as they opened. With the few seconds of privacy they had left, Koumei spoke the last piece of his mind where that whole ordeal was concerned. "And it is because I am aware of the context that I do this by choice, not just because my brother and king said not to."

There was nothing much she could do except smile. Despite how distant he had become, he was still the same. In spite of so much changing, not much really had. Just as that conversation was over, Seijin burst through the hallway that led to where they were while carrying in his arms the numerous scrolls and journals that logged her previous and their more recent records. Helping him set everything down and organize it the way she preferred it, she asked Seijin to join them as they all took a sit.

"Now," Ceara started with a clap of her hands. "Where do you want to begin?"

"Wherever it is you began," Kouen said and sat back ready to listen.

She chuckled and grabbed the scroll to the far left. Unfurling it, Ceara sat up to lay it before them so that she could explain as she went along the written lines. "This is what started it; these are the first records of the interviews I took in Shika about two years ago."

---

In spite of thinking it a childish and unnecessary task, Koumei had to admit that Ceara had done an impressive job at accounting for so many people, their whereabouts and statuses included, without anyone's help for the better part of two years. What she had accomplished over the short span of time was indeed plenty and she had worked to see that it all remained meticulously recorded. From teaching her before, Koumei had had some idea of her intellectual prowess but this showcased it at a level military and strategic education would never have done. Despite having started this during midday, she had gone on and on with the accounts giving brief summations of how, when, where, and who she interviewed. Koumei recognized names and places, some generals that had long retired, unable as they were to fight, while others were known military families that had lost part of said family to the wars. She had gone through centuries of their peoples' military generations with a fine comb, cataloging everything in a way she seemed to understand. Her young vassal seemed versed on the topics as well, giving his input where she failed to remember details written down. The two worked arduously to concise the information well for them without overwhelming them too much with unnecessary background.

Finding himself so entranced by the accounts, Koumei couldn't help but add his bits of knowledge about families she'd interviewed and about a few unknown or illegitimate children that she had not known of and had no records of. Whenever he pointed out any of this, she would excitedly forget for a moment what she was doing to jot down what he had said with her red feathered pen. Seijin had to snap her out of the small instances for her to return to explaining them just as vivaciously as before. Koumei found this exchange rather familiar and it wasn't until his brother began connecting the records to which wars and historic events the soldiers had spoken of that he understood why.

Ceara's enthusiasm for hearing people's life stories was just as bad as his brother's obsession with history. The only difference was that it looked to be more of a healthy joy for her. Then again, remembering that she did look worse for wear, maybe not.

Hours into the night, Koumei yawned and found Seijin doing the same and hiding it behind his hand. Seemed he wasn't the only one tired from this. Unlike his brother who kept on reading and unknowingly ignoring him, Ceara turned to Seijin and exhaled softly.

"Go rest, Jin," she told him. "We've worked enough on this for weeks now, so take tomorrow off as well."

"Are you sure?" he asked with a small rub of his eyes.

Ceara chuckled and nodded. The boy began reaching down for the scrolls they had already finished but she stopped him, telling him that she'd take care of everything and for him just to go rest. Gladly taking the offer, he excused himself and left the three of them. Wanting to rest as well, Koumei stood from his sit and got a small glance from the woman in their midst.

"It's late," he simply said as if that was enough of an excuse. Certainly was for him. "There's still preparations for the Summit meeting and a month has proven to go by quick. Work still needs to be done in the morrow, so I'll be leaving as well." Koumei eyed both of them and spoke to Kouen before leaving, "Be sure to rest as well. I would really appreciate a full night's sleep without having to come get you."

"I will," Kouen assured him with a dismissive wave of his hand. His brother was engrossed in the records enough to have completely missed Koumei's general direction but it was normal when he got like that.

When a small airy chuckle broke through the quiet, Koumei turned down to look at the young woman that sat beside his brother overlooking what he read. As if feeling his baring stare, Ceara lifted her head to look at him.

"Have a good night's rest, Koumei," she said with a small smile.

Even when he knew there was no trust he could give that would remain for long, a part of him still wanted to bestow some to her. It was the same part that had enjoyed their lessons and found promise in the woman that was a general of their army. And it was that same part that got him to reciprocate the gesture, bidding them both a good night before leaving the study.

And yet as he headed to his quarters, Koumei couldn't help but question and most of all wonder about many things.

Despite what his brother and king had chosen to do, Koumei still wondered why he chose to do it. When he had asked back when Seijin had come to them, Kouen had given a rather vague answer: there was no harm in helping her.

Was there really none, though? A person who had as much power as she had could have done plenty during the time her secret had remained as such. But surprisingly she had done nothing of the kind. Instead, she had focused her efforts on this, a scavenger hunt for the history of the people she encountered and found. In spite of the project having its roots in Kou territory, she had taken a more versatile and broad approach as she continued over the couple of years. What she had was a small but detailed history of what amounted to half of their world's culture—all of it through the interconnected stories of its people.

A young woman that had caused such devastation to a single family had done great things with what time life had given her. Great things, impressive even, but at the cost of someone she had treasured greatly. And from what his brother had insinuated perhaps even loved.

And his mind felt conflicted with all the information he had of her. From what he had gathered, Ceara of Ériu had accomplished little things in her short recorded lifetime. And that didn't account for the mass murder she caused as a child. As Reizei Kohaku, however, she was doing right for the people he and his brother often left to Kou's city officials. But, as his brother pointed out, names and status didn't matter. What she had done, she had done out of her own volition and judgment.

Actions spoke louder about a person's motives. And this woman, whether as Ceara or Kohaku, had swept into their lives with actions akin to the washing waves of the ocean. She had crept up to interact with them and ebbed away leaving impressions, marks on rocky shores.

Before and even after all this had been known, she had become a small part of their lives. Kougyoku and Kouha admired and liked her for who she was with them. Hakuryuu as well had seem to enjoy the company of one who didn't patronize him. Hakuei had found a kindred spirit who understood her familial affections. Their high priest even had found someone who wouldn't back down with his crude and overtly mischievous nature. Even Koumei had to admit that he had found someone he could converse with that would understand his point of view and even challenge his ideas with some of her own. She had the mind to disagree but an open enough mind to discuss it; at least now he understood how she was so good on the latter.

Most of all, though, he had noticed the change in his brother and king even long before she was revealed to be Ceara of Ériu. A change that became much more prominent afterwards. And Koumei would have to be blind to not notice that it had been her presence that incurred such change. It felt to be something akin to what they all had found with her but perhaps not as platonic.

Regardless of name, this young woman was overall and foremost a giving person. To be charitable seemed to come naturally to her. And by giving, she received: good or bad and one way or another. And the fact that he had come to such a conclusion on his own went to show how his brother was right yet again.

"In spite of all that has happened, it astounds me still," he had said the day he told Koumei everything Ceara had confessed to him. "Afflicted as she is, she went down a self-destructive path. She kept giving even when it began to destroy her. It intrigues me and I want to understand why it does and why she cannot derail herself from such path."

Koumei could fathom some answer but doubted it was correct if the only one: Ceara was a child at her core. And like a child starved of affection and a sense of security, she clung to what she could, pleading for it to never leave. But it was possible to grow out of such state, especially when she was as conscious of the problem as they were.

Koumei knew the merit of keeping her secret hidden, it gave them reign over a multiple dungeon capturer without any effort from their part. But helping her overcome her mental affliction would cripple that reign making it almost nonexistent. Nonetheless it's what his brother had chosen to do. He wanted to know her, to know her circumstances, and to understand.

The idea by itself made Koumei pity her. When his brother wanted something, nothing ever stopped him from obtaining it. And despite everything that had happened and what was now known, Koumei couldn't deny that he had come to know her as she was. Whichever name she went by, it changed nothing of who she was and it showed. So maybe, like his siblings had done so far, he, too, could allow himself to understand and forgive.

A long yawn caught him by surprise and showed him just how bad his exhaustion was. So much was going on to prepare for the Summit meeting that he found it hard to sleep or even concentrate. But despite how much he wanted to rest, work still clouded his mind. There was so much to do tomorrow: paperwork that needed to be finished, preparations for when they left, accommodations for those staying there in Balbadd's palace. That lay thought bothered him for some reason; almost like he was forgetting something. Was someone coming to Balbadd's palace? If he remembered correctly, yes. But when was it that they would arrive? He doubted it would be that night. Tomorrow? In a couple of days?

He yawned again as he finally arrived at his quarters. Thoughts fleeted around in his mind and settled on what he assumed was the right answer.

A couple of days sounded right. He would have to let his brother know. But it could wait till the morrow.

---

Had this been any other time in the past, Ceara would have to admit that it would have been awkward or simply unnerving. But the silence that came over the study as Ceara and Kouen read felt much more pleasant. Ceara found herself taking a sit next to him after he continued to ask questions about the records she made; it was much easier to point at something while sitting beside him than from across the desk.

He gave short nods as she explained them, giving her his full attention and yet appeared to be completely taken with the read. It put her at ease talking about this, something that she felt proud of and was more than happy to talk about. It was after they were almost done with the penultimate scroll that Kouen lowered it onto the desk. Ceara barely noticed this being more engrossed in what information Koumei had given her to mention it. It wasn't until Kouen spoke up that she stopped scribbling and looked to the side at him.

"How did you start all this?" he asked.

"I told you," she replied, a little confused he'd asked something she had already answered. "Two years ago. Around the time I took over General Koujiro's position."

A small hum came from him but it sounded somewhat defeated. "Maybe I'm not asking the right question." Putting the scroll fully on the desk he turned his full attention to her, crimson eyes tinted gold staring directly into her own stark blue. "Why did you start taking soldiers' interviews in the first place? What got you interested in recording their anecdotes?"

"What got me interested?" she repeated a bit caught off guard. Ceara tapped Beleth's Metal Vessel against the paper she'd been writing on as she thought about it. It only took her a few seconds to find the answer she knew to be true. Laying back against the chair's back, Ceara twirled the feather pen between her fingers. "I suppose it was when I started searching for what happened to Cael."

"Your brother?"

Ceara nodded and took a deep breath before continuing. "Remember how I told you that I never knew much of what happened to him or how he died?" When Kouen nodded, she simply turned back to stare at the ceiling as she let her mind work through the years. "It had always bothered me that no one ever knew anything or that they didn't want to tell me. But it wasn't until after…" Ceara pursed her lips, somewhat uncomfortable mentioning it, "It wasn't until after the fire at Rakushou that I began to search. When I learned that Hakuyuu and Hakuren both had passed away and saw how Hakuryuu was so badly injured, it reminded me of what I had lost. What hit me hardest had been seeing Hakuei; it was strange but I could clearly see myself in her. It reminded me of what I had lost, what I had felt, and that I still had questions that needed answers." Playing with the feather pen, she stroke the plumage against her opened palm, letting the sensation soothe and distract her. "When we went back to Shika after spending a year and a half in the capital, I began searching. Because many of the soldiers that were in General Koujiro's unit were stationed there, it was easy to go to them and inquire about him."

"I imagine they found it bizarre for the General's daughter to ask about one specific soldier," Kouen pointed out, his hands laced together and resting before him. "What was your excuse?"

"Research," Ceara replied straight away. "That or just curiosity. They seldom questioned a little girl's curiosity so long as I gave them an excuse. It didn't have to be believable to them." To calm herself as her anxiety mounted with the memory of that, she kept brushing Beleth's vessel against her skin liking how even that minute touch made a soothing noise that reached her ears. "But even after months of searching, I found nothing but scraps of what gossip they had heard. It seemed he wasn't with Koujiro's army when he died."

"Was that where you heard their stories?" he asked seemingly grasping where she was going.

As answer, she nodded and brought Beleth's vessel up to brush the feather against her chin pensively. "They might not have known about his death but they had fought alongside him." A crooked smile curled one side of her lips as she chuckled. "Their tales about him and how they met or knew about him were...intriguing. Even when some had nothing to do with Cael or when they weren't such good storytellers, I couldn't help but listen. It was like—" her hands moved around as she found it hard to find the right words to describe it. Finally though, she settled and went back to twirling her pen. "I can't even describe it. I was just so captivated by their lives, what they've done—everything about them. It was like every new thing I heard was just as relatable, or maybe enjoyable, or even sad sometimes. It's a little hard to explain."

And even thinking it over in her head was hard to do. She just found it so fascinating to know about people: their lives, their achievements, their failures, their regrets, their hopes, their dreams. It was like finding a new world to explore and discover with every one of them.

It was like…

"It's almost akin to being bewitched." Ceara turned to Kouen at hearing his words and watched as he stared down at the scrolls, lifting his gaze to stare at the boundless of others on his shelves and the countless histories that they held. "You can't deter your eyes from it and neither can you ignore the yearning that comes over you. You wish to know and understand, one way or another, and when you finally do—"

"It's satisfying," she murmured and was astounded that he had spoken those same words allowed. Yeah, she supposed that if she had to describe why she enjoyed listening to so many stories, then it would certainly be because of how satisfying it was to know. "Not many appreciate how just listening to what others have to say can bring solidarity and understanding when the world is so desolate. They've all said to some extent that they feel so disconnected from others, that they're different or wouldn't be understood, but when you look at their individual life stories and their fears and joys as a whole, it just gives you such a broader perspective. One that they neglect. They think they're all so different from each other when they're not. And it's sad that only I get to see that."

"You want to show them," Kouen surmised.

Glad that he was following her just fine, Ceara nodded and smiled. "That is why I started recording their anecdotes with the intention of publishing them. I want them to know they're not different. I want them to feel like I do and understand that the divide that separates us isn't truly there. It's man made and it's breakable. We shouldn't be fighting against one another because we believe others are wrong and we are right. We should stand united because we all share something in common: we're human. If I can show even a small portion of people that, then maybe real understanding can happen. That dream of the world being united as one could become true."

"Ignorance often brings about with it hatred and bigotry." Kouen sat straight as he waved his hand across the scrolls that still laid open for them. "There is none of that when people simply tell their tale. They're biased, there's no avoiding that, but—"

"But selfishness is normal, isn't it?" she teased lightly, her nose scrunching up and a grin spreading across her face.

"And it's plain as day because of it," he continued not one bit fazed by her interruption. "When people care about something they will protect it at all costs. And when what they care for is threatened, that's when wars begin."

"Where'd you hear that?" she asked curious.

"From Emperor Hakutoku years ago when Koumei and I had just joined their brigade to unite Kai and Gou under Kou."

"You and Koumei? How old were you?"

"I was just shy of sixteen," he said. Reaching up, he began stroking his chin, his fingers sometimes stroking all the way down his goatee. "A few months before I captured Agares, if I remember correctly."

Ceara briefly counted in her head; if Kouen had been sixteen, that would've made Koumei around fourteen. "Why bring your brother? Was he conscripted like the rest?"

Kouen shook his head. "He wanted to come. The emperor allowed it so long as I stayed by his side. Back when we started we weren't allowed to linger far from the main battalion or from them. His majesty never wanted for us to perish—he was a man that cherished his family almost as much as he did his country."

"He sounds like a great man," Ceara muttered, turning to face Kouen. "Despite spending so much time in the palace during that year, I never really got a chance to meet him. We just saw him from afar."

"Emperor Hakutoku was one of the greatest, most brilliant men I have ever had the honor to meet and fight with. The same can be said about Prince Hakuyuu and Hakuren."

Ceara didn't miss the very slight change in tone that his voice suffered. She had known Hakuyuu and Hakuren for a short time and she thought the same. But knowing that Kouen had spent much more time with them put that in another perspective for her. She had seen when they were younger how much he had admired the three of them, especially Hakuyuu. And Ceara couldn't say that she wasn't surprised.

"I know that's true of Hakuyuu and Hakuren," she said briefly with a small purse of her lips. "Hakuyuu reminded me a lot of Cael, at least from the way he cared for Hakuei and Hakuryuu. It was always nice to see them together."

And in the blink of an eye, both of them had lost what they loved most. Just like I had.

A disturbing quiet came over them at such grim note. It was Kouen who reminded her of what they had actually been talking about as he rolled one scroll and opened the last to read as she spoke.

"Where did I leave off?" she asked having lost her train of thought.

"You began writing their anecdotes," Kouen pointed out. "Much too detailed, I might add."

She took that as a compliment even if it hadn't been. "It was after sometime of writing their stories that I began to notice the families themselves. Some of the soldiers that survived not only lived with their families but had taken in the families of their comrades. It shocked me that there weren't good compensations for those who lost their family members in war."

"There is," he corrected.

"Not enough," she countered straight away. "Had I not been living with Kohaku, what little I was given after Cael died would not have lasted me more than a few months. I saw that clearly when I got to meet the widows and orphans left behind when their fathers, husbands, or sons died in battle. Compensation was all they got, and they were extremely lucky if they got anything to bury. When I began noticing this, I wanted to do something for them but at my age and without any money I couldn't do much aside from planning for the future. It wasn't until I began being compensated for my work as interim general that I managed to do something."

"Even as interim general, the compensation was minimum seeing as you were volunteering yourself."

"I volunteered because of what it would give me and because I had been fed the idea that as daughter of the Reizei family, I had to be loyal to my family first and foremost." Ceara shrugged and averted her eyes. "I understood their values, though, so a part of me went along with it. In either case, it gave me enough to have some foundation and what Koujiro and Ariana gave me as their daughter made it possible for me to start working for those that the war left behind without anything."

"The orphan houses," Kouen stated while he reached for a particular bound journal and opened it. The writing in it was different from the majority of the other scrolls and books; the few different ones were ones that she had Seijin working on and it showed by the difference in handwriting. "The first one was in Shika."

"It's fairly new," Ceara explained, pointing at certain dates that Seijin had transcripted from her old scrolls. "There's still much to improve on."

"For being a two year old institution that was run privately, one wouldn't think so," Kouen told her. Despite how nonchalantly he said it, Ceara caught the slight hint of the assurance he was trying to give. "You added an education system to it?"

"Yes," she said leaning closer to read the notes she had written back then. "It's better for them to learn and be able to work in the society Kou builds. I didn't just want to safeguard their present but also their future. I knew that if they didn't at least learn the basics they wouldn't be able to get anywhere once they reached a proper age to start working."

It still amazed her that a plan like the one that she had thrown together the best she could with how pressured she felt to start it had worked so well. The children didn't just get shelter and food, they got security and education. The latter was most important and gave them an edge in a society that functioned on the merit of work. The more knowledgeable they were and the more they were prepared for the world they would eventually rejoin, the better it would be for the empire as a whole. The empire would gain finely educated citizens that would work more efficiently. The children would be guaranteed a future and given the opportunity to prosper when they had nothing left.

"Learning gives them purpose, and with purpose comes hope," she explained with a smile on her lips. "I've found that hope is the best motivator when they've lost it all. I've helped built the facility in Shika and the two in Rakushou. Balbadd is another large country whose citizens suffered greatly from their previous regime, so I wanted to establish another here as well."

Kouen kept reading the journal, dividing his attention between her and the book. "These names…" he pointed out those that he talked about, mostly non-native people of Rakushou or Shika. There was only one population among the hierarchy of Kou's society that consisted of different races. "You've been buying slaves?"

Ceara gave him a wry smile before nodding. "I haven't been as successful about that as I wish I could be," she confessed. "Turns out people aren't fond of letting go of their slaves if they can help it. And even when they are, they place ludicrous prices on them. It's been hard and has cost me resources I could've put on the facilities but it is worth it on the long run. Citizens or not, children don't deserve to live in servitude. No one does but I can't do everything by myself. What little I can I do, but it's only a small percent in one of our largest populations. Despite what you or Koumei may say, I'm greatly against slavery. Even if it is a necessary evil, I can't condone it."

"It's a fairer system than most," Kouen reminded her.

"A system nonetheless," she retorted. "But it's not as hopeless as I thought at first. Koumei was the one that told me when I disagreed with him that if I could come up with a better answer then it was possible to consider an alternative. It's hard but I'm working on it."

"And you have done all this alone?"

"I started it alone," she confirmed with a small nod. "Seijin has helped me greatly and has taken a big interest in the project, though. But as for the facilities and memoirs, I've had more than my share of help. The soldiers willingly give their histories and it's the people that manage the orphan houses and education. I provide the resources and help when I can at the houses but it's mostly them that do the hard work." Ceara placed her feather pen upon the desk with her left hand, the light faintly catching her bone encrusted bracelet. "What I said to them was the truth: they shouldn't be forgotten. No one deserves that. The memoir provides an account of those that fight and those that are lost to the wars presently. The facilities give those left behind a hope for the future."

"Answer me this." His sudden change in tone made her turn expectantly. It wasn't harsh or demeaning, just bland and somewhat confused. "Why do this when there was a chance of it all crumbling down where you to be found out?"

Ceara blinked a couple of times and averted her gaze unable to meet his eyes at the question. "I...never really thought that far into the future. My mind was on what I could do tomorrow, in a week, or in a month even. But years?" She shook her head as she took a deep breath. "Looking towards the future meant thinking about being discovered. Up to recently with you, I have never thought about the possibility of it all falling apart." Surprisingly, she found herself smiling lightly at one thought, "Thankfully, I have Seijin. Even if I'm gone, he will continue. He has enough passion for it to do so.'

"I understand." The conversation stopped briefly with neither of them saying or doing anything. Again the topic had turned sour but this time Kouen chose to continue down that road. "Is that the kind of legacy you want to leave behind?"

"Legacy?" she repeated somewhat taken aback by the type of question. Was it? In a way, she supposed it was. "I suppose so. I wish to leave a good legacy for Kohaku's namesake. This way, I think people will remember her for doing good. If that happens, then I'll be happy."

"That's not what I meant." His tone changed again and it was clear to Ceara's sensitive ears. It became somewhat annoyed but all the same gentle. Before she could even ask what he meant, he clarified his question. "I didn't ask what you want Kohaku's legacy to be. I asked what you want yours to be—Ceara's."

"Mine?" Genuinely puzzled that she couldn't come up with a concrete answer, she began brushing through her hair thoughtfully. "Mine…"

What do I want?

It was hard to think about it. All this time she had worried much more about others, seldom about herself. Now that she knew that, it was easy to pinpoint instances of that and even times where it had put her in harm's way. But knowing the problem didn't automatically solve it. She still had a hard time separating her actions from her emotions, and even the bits she could control felt bizarre, like she was doing something she wasn't supposed to. Now that Kouen was trying to help her deal with her affliction, it made it better but not by much. He'd been right: this wouldn't be fixed overnight.

Hell, she was still petrified about confronting the twins and the days were slowly dwindling towards their arrival. It would come, inevitable as it was, and she understood that. But again…

Just because I know now doesn't mean it will fix me all of a sudden.

This felt similar to that. Not as harrowing but just as puzzling to think about all the same. But by talking about her problems, Ceara found that it was easier and it helped her work them out. Maybe this wouldn't be that different.

"I'm...not entirely sure," she confessed with a purse of her lips. "I know what you mean to ask but I can't make up my mind."

"How come?" he inquired leaning forward in his chair, apparently intrigued.

"I don't know." When he urged Ceara to think of at least something, anything really, she found herself bursting out with whatever her mind came up. It didn't matter if it made sense or not. "I-I guess it's because I've been so immersed into being Kohaku for so long."

Kouen raised an eyebrow at her answer. As she repeated what she had said in her own mind, Ceara could see how that was so unnecessarily convoluted. Surprisingly, though, Kouen hummed in agreement and sat back against his chair. "Can you explain further?"

She knew that tone of voice. He wasn't asking to know because he'd already surmised the answer from her words. He was asking to make her think for herself and find that same answer. She both hated and appreciated the effort to make her figure things out for herself.

"I think it's...useless really to even leave something behind. After all, Ceara doesn't exist anymore. I buried that name along with what I found of Kohaku's remains a long time ago. To even want to leave a legacy under my name sounds..."

Impossible.

She shook the thought away and finished her original trail of thought. "Even if I do, it wouldn't matter. I no longer exist to the people."

"Surely with this your name will resurface," Kouen reminded her.

Instead of bringing her the sense of assurance he must've meant, all Ceara felt was dread. He wasn't wrong. Once she told the twins—a chill ran up her spine as she wrapped her arms around herself—everything would surface again. People would know who she was and more importantly what she had done. And she had prove with Masami that the response wouldn't be anything positive.

"Even if it does, no one would want to remember a murderer."

Scaring and shocking her at the same time, Kouen exhaled and in the same breath grabbed the armrests of her chair to turn it completely. When the screeching of the chair's legs stopped, she was facing him fully as he turned his without much effort either. The words of protest she wanted to give died in her throat the moment she caught the pure annoyance, bordering anger, that marred his face.

What the hell is wrong now?

"Stop that." His voice rumbled deeper than usual through her eardrums. The vibrations were so slow and forceful that they caused a tingling sensation in them, making her reach up to stop the sound by covering her ears slightly.

"Stop what?"

"That self-loathing shit you keep reverting to."

Oh yeah. He's mad.

"I don't—"

But he didn't let her finish and instead plastered his hands on either of her armrests effectively enclosing her there. The action itself stopped her vocals cords from working along with her mind. It was enough to get her full attention.

"You cannot blame yourself for something you could not have possibly stopped."

Ceara wanted to protest. She really did. But she buried the urge fearing that poking the sullen tiger before her would make him snap further.

"Djinn are historically unknown beings with arcane powers that have barely been studied. As a dumb, depressed orphan, you wouldn't have had the slightest idea of how to control Murmur. It doesn't matter that you managed to contract with him at your age, you were still young. Tell me, would you punish a child for being careless and accidentally killing it's pet?"

That flimsy comparison gave her back her voice. "That doesn't compare to what I—"

Kouen slid the chair a tad bit closer, her knees touching his as he repeated his question. "Would you?"

"No."

"Then you shouldn't blame yourself," he concluded to her. "A child knows nothing until it learns or it's taught. You had no one to teach you. You learned and did so the hardest way possible. You are no different than that child because you were one then. You were stupid, scared, and alone."

He's really hammering down the stupid part.

And Ceara understood his reasoning. She just didn't like it. Not one bit. "Who is to blame then? Because I can assure you that the people will want someone to crucify and I've proven to be the easiest target."

"No one is," he said sternly yet quieting down from his previous fit. His hands slid back from the armrests of her chair as he sat back against his own. "Death, unlike the rest of this world, doesn't discriminate—it simply takes. That it took your father, brother, and Kohaku didn't mean they deserved to die, or that you deserved to be left alone. It just meant that their time had come."

"You're the last person I would ever peg for believing in fate," she relied with a furrowed brow.

"I don't."

What?

"But sometimes it's the only thing that makes senseless occurrences the least bit conceivable. If they happen for a reason, then what happened isn't meaningless itself. Death comes to all and like you said before, we don't get to choose who it takes. But how one dies doesn't matter in the end. What matters is what one does while alive. You've undergone a grand task for the sake of others, for the sake of what you wanted for them, and it's paid off; people will remember you because of it. And even when they might one day know the truth, it's possible that they choose to overlook it. To sully what good has been done because sheer petty anger would be a waste."

"They will, though. People aren't that understanding," she muttered but the small quiver in her voice made her shut her mouth quickly. They never are. "They can't forgive what they don't understand. And with how they're told to think here, they won't even try."

"We have."

A scoff bubbled from her lips as she felt a mix of relief and bitterness come over her. "Then you're all idiots." But as those words sank into her mind, she began to believe them. She wanted to believe them.

In a way, it reminded her of Murmur's words: even when they were gone, what they represented was still left behind. She remembered them little in death and recalled their time alive much more. And it had been her desire to know more about them while they were alive that brought along the greater change.

"They lived their lives and passed. It's time to live for yourself like they did. Learn from them, learn from their example, and live your life for what you want to leave behind."

"You make it sound like a perfect fairytale," she whispered with a wry chuckle. "If I want to live like that, then I'd have a short life as things stand. No one that knew would let me live."

"I already told you that won't happen," he reminded her. "I won't allow it. It doesn't matter how fatalistic you are about the truth being found."

"I see it more as being realistic," she corrected. "After thirteen years of the life I've lived, I've experienced a broad spectrum of people. I've gotten to know how the society around me works. Many are nice, some not so much, but when angered or in fear, they will retaliate. And as bleak as it sounds, I've found that it's easier for them to hate than to forgive. It's easier to deal with for me as well. I've learned to live expecting such things and I've learned to work with it. I've experienced my share of deep-seated hatred from another. And if she couldn't find it in her heart to forgive me, I don't think anybody can."

Ceara caught the small airflow of his lungs with her ears: he wanted to protest. But before he could, she cut him off by standing from her place. She didn't feel like talking anymore. Letting the chair screech in protest as she pushed it back to give herself space, Ceara gave the last piece of her mind. "It's getting late and I'm tired of talking about this."

As she busied herself cleaning up the mess, Kouen stood aside for a few moments. Ceara half expected him to intervene and bully her back to a sit to continue talking but to her surprise he didn't. Instead, he began helping her tidy up the scrolls and books she'd brought in.

"Unrelated to that—" Kouen's voice came to her ears and she was about to protest saying she was done talking when the words processed. He was willing to let it go for now but he still wanted to know more.

What the hell more is there to know?

"What?" she muttered under her breath.

"Did you ever learn what happened to your brother?"

Ceara debated whether to answer that question. It was personal but as he had said it wasn't related to what had made her snap at him. Slowing down as she was quickly finishing the clean up with his help, she sighed, tapping her fingers against the desk. Finally deciding to reply to him, she turned her head slightly to let him hear her better.

"Cael died saving a young boy out in the battlefield; that's what I got from what information I gathered. He died the same way he lived: a hero." She shrugged her shoulders at saying this knowing he could and would certainly badger her for her dull thought. "At least that's what he always was in my eyes. And that's how I'll remember him. I...didn't want to know any details after that, or at least I got over it since then."

I suppose...I'm just at peace that he didn't die in vain.

Surprisingly, there was no chastise or ridicule from him; Kouen only nodded showing he had heard her. After that, Ceara focused on trying to carry the scrolls back but found it hard to do so all at once with so many. She really tried every way she could think of, though, because she really didn't want to come back with how her temper was still piqued.

"Leave them here."

Kouen's words made her turn up with a raised eyebrow. "I can't," she replied. "I don't want anything to happen to them."

"Nothing will. Not so long as they remain here." He motioned out with his arm at the large study that seemed more like a private library than anything. "This was made for my private use. No one is allowed entrance unless specifically granted access. Leave them here and you will have access, day or night."

"You're kidding." At hearing this, Kouen raised his own questioning eyebrow which made Ceara chuckle a bit at the out-of-place gesture. She waved her hand dismissively and nodded at that, "Right. I forgot who I was talking to for a second." But if he was offering such haven for her records...maybe it'd be worth it to keep them there. "And you can assure me nothing will happen to them here?"

"You have my word."

And he had proven that he could keep it. With a nod, she smiled and asked him where she could put them. Taking her to one of the empty shelves, he helped her put them away seeing as she had a system of her own that helped her keep organized.

---

Her whole collection took most of the top half of the shelf, but seeing as Kouen had prepared much spare space for his own private library, he knew there to be enough to house her own. And as he watched her place every individual scroll or bound book in place, his mind began to wander to what she had told him.

Cael had died protecting a young boy in the battlefield. Whomever had said that got it correct. Cael of Ériu had certainly died protecting a boy—a young, idiotic boy of sixteen that had barely captured his first dungeon and had yet to know how those strange powers worked. That had been one of his first battles after having captured Agares. Kouen had been offered more time to train with the djinn before returning to the battlefield but in his youthful arrogance he had wanted to return as soon as possible after having attained such power that could help their cause. And in his arrogance, he had been an utter fool.

The reason he kept reminding Ceara that a djinn was hard to control especially to someone young who knew no better was because he had lived through such experience. In his arrogance, he thought he could use Agares to end a feud that had started weeks prior. In his arrogance, he had failed to control his powers fully. And because of his arrogance, utter stupidity, and rashness, a young man had sustained a grave injury protecting him from an enemy attack. When the crown princes and Emperor Hakutoku were too occupied to have his back, a young unnamed soldier had come between him and an enemy's sword. What was meant to be a blow to end his life had shortened another's. Not as fast as it should have, though. The young man still fought even after being gravely injured. He fought alongside Kouen and the remaining soldiers until the enemy troops had been driven out of the small town.

It wasn't until everything was done that he fell due to his injuries. He could have lived, of that Kouen was sure. Prince Hakuyuu had said as much after Kouen had told him what had happened. At that time, though, it had meant little to Kouen. Just another soldier dying for the prosperity of their country.

Now, the knowledge of who that young man was scoured him. Now, Kouen knew him to be more than just a soldier. He had been someone's son, someone's older brother, and the only living relative of one little girl.

"...I'm…"

"Mm. Did you say something?"

Hearing her speak, Kouen lifted his gaze to meet hers, eyes full of confusion and interest. Her hearing; he hated her acute hearing. It made him watch his tongue around her. Most of all, it made it impossible for a secret to be kept from her. So long as it was spoken and she wanted to hear it, it would be heard.

Something in him, though, didn't want to tell her. Not yet, anyway.

Is this what she experiences with the mere thought of the twins?

If it was, he could find it in himself to pity her somewhat. "Nothing," he replied and gave her the last of her scrolls to put away. Not finding anything odd, she shrugged it off and finished organizing her documents.

"There," she whispered proudly. "All done." With bright eyes and a small smile, Ceara turned to him and walked on forth. "We should go rest now. It's pretty late and Koumei did say you had some work tomorrow. I've got things to figure out too with what you two have given me to work with." As she walked, her foot skipped a few steps which, he supposed, was out of giddiness. "There's much to do."

"You seem elated," he pointed out unable to keep it to himself.

"I am as hard as it is to believe. At least a little." Her blatant confession wasn't surprising; that she stopped and turned to face him just as they reached the open area where his desk was had been. She had stopped and that gave him enough time to do the same. It didn't seem to bother her that they were just within arms reach of one another. Instead, Ceara turned up to meet his gaze as her lips curled into a small smile. "And I suppose I have you to thank for that."

That gaudy grin and glint in her eyes told him plenty: she was trying to annoy him on purpose. It amazed him somewhat that she still had that gall to do so when she knew from experience that taunting him never ended well. "You suppose?" he asked, his voice raising a tad bit.

"Yes, I have Koumei more to thank than you in reality," she said thinking aloud as she tapped her chin with one finger, her small smile shifting into a crooked grin. "After all, he's the one in charge of the economy of Kou, isn't he? I think I'll thank him tomorrow."

Give gratitude were it's due.

But the words didn't exactly come out as he had wanted them. Actually, they didn't come out at all. Instead, his body reacted, his hand reaching down and grabbing her wrist to pull her until her back came against the nearest shelf. Shock and surprise were mixed in her eyes as they widened looking up at him as he cornered her. Despite the brusque action, he was no closer to her than before, a foot or two still creating a space between them.

"After almost a year of helping you—this month especially—I was under the assumption that common courtesy would oblige you to show some gratitude," he commented.

The small shock receded as his words seem to sink. She regained some composure and that grin came back to her. "Isn't it petty for a prince to expect gratitude from his charity?"

Unable to keep the scoff from escaping him, Kouen turned away before laying one of his arms above her head to support himself as he leaned forward, still keeping the space between them. "I believe you're confusing me with yourself."

"Oh-ho," she breathed, bringing a hand to her chest in feigned pain. In the midst of her bluff, though, he could see her backing up against the shelf. "Now that's a low blow."

Kouen gave her a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Not if it's true."

"Don't be greedy now," she countered with instead. "Good comes to those who wait."

"I've waited enough. And you have no right to preach patience to me," he replied. "Not after taking that chaste, albeit drunken, initiative back in Rakushou." When Ceara began stuttering about what he meant, he choked a bit—something between a chortle and scoff—before smirking. "You were dead drunk and stumbled to the library. Do you wish for me to fill in the rest of the details?"

"Unnecessary," she declared, raising her hands to cover his face completely. "I admit that was uncalled for. Besides, like you said, I was drunk. That hardly counts as anything significant."

"Significant." The word slipped from his lips and before he knew it, Kouen was leaning in closer, bringing her hands down to fully see her. At noticing her suddenly standing still, though, he stopped, hovering a few inches over her. "What would imply significance to you then?"

"Meaningfulness."

The answer got him to roll his eyes. "Redundancy aside, Ceara, what would you consider meaningful?"

"Having a choice, for one," she replied quickly and backed herself against the bookshelf. Looking over her shoulder to see it there, her head spun back to meet his eyes.

"Then I won't do anything you don't want me to," he whispered being close enough for her to hear it. "You may stay—" he lowered one of his arms before he continued, leaving the path to the exit fairly open, "or you may leave. As you requested, it will be your choice."

---

Mine…?

Curiously, Ceara turned her head sideways to her left were, without his arm, a path was laid open straight to the exit. But the thought of leaving drowned as his words echoed in her head. Not only his words but his actions. Ceara knew Kouen but this, dare she say, playful side of his she had never seen before. He was so forthright with his invitation, overtly so even for him. But she didn't dislike that of him either. Kouen was usually forthright about anything he wanted as she had seen that many times before.

It was one of the things she appreciated and liked much about him.

"Do I sense something rekindling, little king? Something like l—"

Shush, Mur.

It couldn't be.

"Why not?" Marbas spoke with a chuckle. "You're not Reizei Kohaku anymore, right? So what if Masami's marrying him? It don't implicate you as Ceara, right?"

So what? They had to be kidding. This couldn't be; if anything, she should ignore it.

"Like you say, tomorrow is only a promise," Beleth reminded her. "Are you certain that you will not regret not taking this opportunity if tomorrow never comes."

Regret. There were a lot of things she regretted. And like they kept telling her, she didn't want this to be one of those things. Tired after years of hiding, she finally had people who knew. More than anything, she had people that understood her, who supported her, and who forgave her. She had yet to tell the whole truth to everyone but that day wasn't too far off; her gut told her as much. But after releasing Kohaku, after all her past finally coming afloat, Ceara had started living anew. Ceara had promised her that she would live the life she wanted, as hard as that would be and as absurd as it sounded.

And she wanted this man to be a part of it for as long as that would be. It made her unimaginably delighted that he was seeking her openly like this. All the same, though, he was sourly reminding her of other things that couldn't be changed. And yet she dared want the impossible—she dared want him. Even in spite of what was happening, of what felt like an impending demise, or even the fact that so long as he was engaged he could never really be hers, Ceara wanted him. And selfishly so.

And it's normal.

It took awhile but she understood that now.

Then just for now, before everything falls, I'll build a tiny bridge to a peaceful island. I'll be there where I can be myself. Where I'll just be Ceara.

That was enough for her and got her to take a step forward. That was all she needed to do to close the space between them. It wasn't much to begin with and to fully close it, Ceara only needed to raise herself somewhat on her toes to brush her lips against his. It was chaste, quick, and just enough for her like it had been before. But it didn't appear to be enough for him. Instead of standing still like he had promised, Kouen moved closer as she pulled back and caught her lips again. In slight surprise, he caught her lips somewhat parted but even being a little forceful didn't stop him from continuing. Unable to keep her hands to herself, Ceara brought them up placing them against his chest as he continued the slow yet intense kiss. As she closed her eyes, she felt his arms as they came off from the shelves and around her, felt his calloused hands as one slid down to her hips and the other took her by the side of her jaw to tilt her head. Smitten as she was, Ceara followed his lead and drowned in the unfamiliar yet welcomed sensations.

It was indescribable—the heat that remained everywhere his fingers touched, the contrast of his rough hands with the softness of his lips against hers, the pure sensation of having his body flush against hers as he pinned her back against the shelf. He was quickly taking over and as much as she had told herself that this would only be a fast little kiss to qualm her mind and his, at this point, she knew they were past that. Especially when he left her lips to lightly nip down her jawline towards her neck.

"What are you—mm..."

"Like I said…" he whispered against her neck, his breath warm against her skin, making her shiver in his grasp, "My patience has been long gone."

"Mine isn't," she rectified as sternly as she could but having a hard time saying no when his small ministrations kept her mind focused on him. "You said it was my choice."

"It is," he agreed with a long sigh. Having said that, he pulled back to fully face her, parting himself from her by a few inches. The few seconds gave her enough time to breath; it also gave her time to notice how shallow her breathing was from the exchange. "I may have no patience but I will keep my word. Tell me to stop and I will." At saying this he drew back a small distance, just enough for them to breath their own air. "Tell me to continue and I will." His hands, though, reached up to take a strand of her hair in between his fingers. His gaze came down to the delicate hold before returning to her blue eyes. "Tell me and I will listen, Ceara."

That...

"Say it again," she whispered.

He took a second before repeating, "Ceara."

The fact that he stared right into her eyes as he said it made her even more conscious of the blood that rushed to her face. Somewhat embarrassed that she had asked that of him, she let her head fall against his chest, hiding her flushed face. "Why does it sound so...comforting?"

The rumble of his scoff—or was it a chuckle?—traveled through his chest and onto her ears as she laid her head there. "When was the last time anybody called you by your name before this?"

"Years," she confessed in a defeated sigh. Lifting her head, her stark blue eyes met with his crimson tinted gold. Out of curiosity, she reached up with her hands to envelope what she could of his face with them. Her hands were small themselves and only covered his jaw and cheeks, her thumbs landing just above his cheekbones. Swiping them gently over them, she stared straight into his eyes and chuckled. "But it sounds nice hearing it from you."

He didn't answer and instead grabbed one of her hands in his. Pulling it back down, he leaned in once more and this time she didn't bother stopping him. Instead she fell in tandem with him and stood straighter to meet his lips. Again, the exchange began slow but quickly shifted as he leaned further against her to deepen the kiss.

Because her mind was so blank and focused solely on him, Ceara couldn't help jumping out of her skin and hitting the shelf behind her hard after hearing a ruckus just feet from them. Both turning to the source, they found stacks of scrolls and books on the ground, scattered after being dropped. But whether it was an accident or on purpose was the last thing in Ceara's mind. What made her forget completely about the last few seconds was the person that began to hurriedly gather the collections and apologize to Kouen at the same time.

"How clumsy of me," Masami muttered with a small nervous chuckle. Having a few seconds to collect herself, Ceara snuck out from Kouen's range to be at a safe distance from him before she opened her mouth. But before she could say anything, Masami stood up leaving half of what she'd dropped on the floor to gaze at Ceara. The sudden turn of Masami's emotions—going from somewhat embarrassed to complete relief—shocked her and more so when she ran up to embrace her. Stiff and caught off guard, Ceara couldn't react properly or even feign to seeing as she was genuinely bewildered by the action itself.

Pulling back, Masami brushed her hands across Ceara's face and sighed as if in relief of seeing her there. "Thank goodness you're all right," she whispered loudly and smiled. Instead of being touched by the gesture, Ceara felt nothing but cold distance, and something else broiling underneath all that sweetness. Something darker. "When I heard you'd fought in Magnostadt and almost died—oh." Masami grabbed her again to hold her tightly, her nails seemingly digging into her shoulders. "Forget it, I'm just glad nothing happened to any of you. And your voice—" The mere mention of that made Ceara's blood run cold.

Who?

"Sousei and Suisei wrote to me the moment you got to Balbadd and told me everything." Masami turned her gaze behind Ceara's shoulder towards Kouen and smiled warmly. "Truly you have my gratitude for all you've done for her."

Ceara couldn't speak in fear of what she would do. But she didn't need to, not when Kouen was there to explain despite her not wanting to.

"Everything was done in order for her to better herself," he said calmly, as if nothing had happened a few minutes ago that Masami might or might not have seen. "She fought well during the battle both as a dungeon capturer and general."

"Yes," Masami sighed as if glad to hear that. "She's part of the pride and joy of our family. She will always do what's best, isn't that right?"

Ceara couldn't move as Masami ran her hand down her arm, her nails scraping against her skin sending chills down her spine. "Y-Yes, but Masami we shouldn't—"

"Oh, of course," she called out, the sudden change in the pitch of her voice making Ceara jump in her skin again. "I'm sorry, I was just so happy to see you well that I didn't even think. We should leave you be your highness. I have so much I wish to hear from Kohaku."

All at once, Ceara's heart stopped.

Leave?

The myriad of things that could mean—and the most likely one—petrified her, especially when Masami was clearly trying so hard to hide her ire.

Instinctively, Ceara pulled back bringing her hands up to her chest defensively but feigning concern the best she could.

"B-But work," she countered weakly. Knowing it was her chance to avoid whatever punishment Masami wanted to deal—for now—Ceara opted to go down the most logical route. She turned to glance at Kouen briefly before addressing Masami, "There's been so much work that's piled up. It needs to be finished and with so many things to do tomorrow it's best if I finish tonight."

Masami frowned and sighed, "But Kohaku, you shouldn't exert yourself so much. Not after what happened. One night won't kill you."

I beg to differ.

Fear driving her, she turned to Kouen with pleading eyes. Thankfully, he turned to Masami to reinforce her words. "This must be done by tomorrow morning and it can't be neglected for a later time. She has had more than enough time to recuperate from Magnostadt."

"Then she can wake up early and finish." With the same fake concern, Masami turned to Ceara. "You must rest, little lamb." Ceara froze when Masami grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her closer to herself. Pulling her into another embrace and hiding her face against her shoulder, Ceara caught the words that albeit muffled against her clothes were more than audible to her.

"...convince him…"

Fear rushed through her and struck her to the core. The sheer commanding tone of her voice and the fact that she held onto her so tightly reverted her back to how she was. All at once and out of nowhere, Ceara was petrified of the consequences like before. And like before, she abided.

Grabbing Masami's hand to leave some space between them, she turned to Kouen with a smile, one that pained her to wear even as she felt her lips quiver.

"I-I think—" The small hesitation cost her as Masami's grip on her wrist tightened ever the slightest. Enough to send a message while being discreet. "I am quite tired. I might just take Masami's suggestion and finish tomorrow early."

Kouen's expression didn't change but Ceara could tell there was something he caught onto—please notice.

"Are you certain you will be able to finish in time?"

It was a silent game of charades—one they had played before—and Ceara wanted for him, now more than ever, to hear what she couldn't possibly say.

"I am," she replied. "B-But I assure you that it will be done before morning. I'll work to have it done by the usual time."

Notice, En. Please.

Ceara knew that it was impossible to escape from Masami now. But the way Masami was acting—so much differently than before—frightened her. She knew she could endure a few hours of Masami's punishment as she was—hopefully—but a whole night…

I have a really bad feeling about it.

After a few seconds of quiet, Kouen nodded and excused them. With tears threatening to fall as she left, Ceara braced herself for the worse. But she doubted that that would scratch the surface of what was to come.

---

Her room seemed darker than before with what few oil lamps had been left on but Masami didn't seem to need to see to throw Ceara, hurling her by the grip on her wrist. Mindful of her surroundings, Ceara barely managed to steer her fall away from the bed's edge and onto the bed itself. It still hurt just not as much as a badgering against a wooden post would have. Quickly, she stood back up only to meet Masami's maddened expression.

"You little rat."

"Masami—"

"You sneaked your way in?" she hissed, grabbing onto whatever was closest and throwing it at her. Unable to speak and dodge at the same time, Ceara opted to do the latter and avoid the vase that shattered against the ground. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you whored your way to Prince Kouen like that!"

She saw.

There was no time to refute her accusations, though, as more of her things began to fly across the room towards her. Ceara chose to focus on avoiding them instead of talking and got to hear Masami's unfounded logic while doing so. "I knew it was only a matter of time before you did so. But it doesn't matter. Whatever you do won't change anything. No, it's worse that you dared get help to speak again."

"Kouen found that out himself," Ceara countered stepping around the bed to put some distance between them. "He offered—"

"And you had no right to accept!" Masami shouted not caring about the volume of her voice. "You've ruined so much! All the work I've done reduced to this. You've whored your way, gained so much favor, and now think you're so untouchable, don't you?"

"If you would list—"

"Be quiet!"

No matter what Ceara tried to say, Masami wouldn't listen; not like she expected her to listen in the first place with how livid she was. But Ceara at least wanted to try because this time she wasn't just going to submit to her punishments as willingly as before. She felt scared, yes, but there was no way she was going back to just sit by and take it. But Masami was quicker and despite her hearing, Ceara found herself more preoccupied about not hurting her by accident that she didn't notice the knife until it was already too late to avoid it. The wound on her leg wasn't deep but it wasn't normal either. It burned and it instantly began hurting.

A few seconds of walking back after the slash was all it took before Ceara couldn't support herself with that leg. The numbness came so suddenly that at taking a step backward she scrambled to the floor barely holding onto one of the poles from the canopied bed to remain upright.

What in the hell?

"You shouldn't talk," Masami hissed as she began walking towards her. Ceara scrambled back with the one good leg she had trying her hardest to remain upright, pulling herself up with the canopy bed poles as support. At seeing this, however, Masami aimed at one of her arms and gave a wide slash that caught her by the forearm. And just like her leg, all sensation left her arm in less than a few seconds; in the blink of an eye, she couldn't feel it, much less use it to grab the wooden post. Unable to reach out with her other hand in time, Ceara fell down on the hard floor.

It's coated with something...

"You never were supposed to talk again." Masami crouched down in front Ceara and before she could even move away, she plunged the knife deep into the thigh of her other usable leg. Ceara hissed and pushed her back with her good arm, making Masami pull the knife out at an angle, making the cut deeper.

"You pathetic, little girl," Masami muttered under her breath and quickly stood back up to stalk her as Ceara tried desperately to pull herself away with her one working arm. But the dead weight was much too heavy for her one arm alone. Whatever poison coated the blade of her knife, it was acting faster and hitting her much harder than any others Masami had ever use. "You shouldn't bother running away. All you've ever been good for is being my cute little puppet. And now you rebel against me, threatening to cut your strings, thinking you're strong enough for that?" She chuckled and shifted the knife in her hand letting the light hit it. As she did that, Ceara noticed the purplish hue that shone on the blade, a clear sheen of amethyst. "I don't know what delusions of grandeur you got after our time apart but let me assure you, you're not worth the damn air you breath. You don't deserve to be alive. You deserve to suffer for taking the life of my little Haku; you should stay there and receive the punishment you justly deserve!"

Masami launched at her but with the working arm she had, Ceara did what she could and smacked the knife, deviating it from her and making it fly off Masami's grip. The blade cut against her palm, though, and the poison did it's work fast. None of her limbs worked properly now.

"No, Masami," Ceara called out. Despite being unable to move any of her limbs anymore, she still felt compelled to speak. She'd been silent for too long. There was no way she would remain quiet anymore. "I'm deeply sorry for what happened to Kohaku, and I understand that I caused it, but I won't condemn myself any longer."

I've learned better.

"And I'll take responsibility for what I've done," she confessed fully. "But I won't let you continue doing this to me."

"What about us!" she exclaimed. "You took Kohaku from us—from me! You're a mistake that's brought nothing but suffering to us. You deserve this and more!" Without a warning, she plunged the blade into the side of her hip, the blade hitting and scraping against bone making Ceara gasp and cry out in pain, her vision blurring somewhat as she looked back at the crazed woman before her. The sudden rage that had consumed her changed into such a sudden calm that Ceara was baffled for a moment. With a clearing of her throat, Masami smiled and twisted the knife against her hip making her grit her teeth to deal with the pain that wracked her. "But all those trivialities won't matter for much longer. You might have opened this little box but you can still close it in time." Taking the blade out, Ceara could feel the warmth of her blood seeping from the injury and felt the numbness that was beginning to spread through her body at a much slower pace than before.

What—How?

Masami crouched just before Ceara as she leaned against the canopy bed in her room, the sweet smile never leaving her lips. "Voice or no voice, you're still just a little servant girl under my command. As such I will ask, will you be my little obedient servant girl again or do I have to reveal the truth to them?"

Panic racked in her chest at the mere mention of what used to send her fully into submission. But unlike before, remembering the words of others—support and encouragement—helped her see that the threat wasn't as horrible as she had once thought.

"It'll happen sooner or later, Masami," she told her through her pain and gritted teeth. "They will find out...and I made a promise with Kohaku when I released her that I would tell Sousei and Suisei the truth."

They will know and I will be the one to tell them. Under my own terms.

The calm shattered again in that instant. Masami's face contorted to rage a split second before she plunged the blade into the outside of her left thigh. The numbness took some of the pain away from the initial wound but as it went deeper and she twisted again, Ceara couldn't help but shout. Her cry of anguish was cut short, though, as Masami yanked her by the hair to slam her face against the bedsheets, suffocating her screams. Twisting the blade again and pulling it out, Ceara could do nothing but scream into soft silks as she felt the warmth of her blood coming from the open wound.

It shocked Ceara to hear Masami chuckle as she lifted her head by her hair so that she could face her. Even with that, though, Ceara was beginning to have a hard time perceiving her in the dark with how blurred her vision had turned. And it wasn't going away. She could also feel the shallowness of her breaths; it was almost like something had a grip on her lungs and wouldn't let her breathe. And all of it was getting worse, fast.

"You may act all high and mighty, thinking you'll have the guts to tell them, but you won't. I know you too well." Another chuckle filled the room, and her hearing being as acute as it was, it caught the tapping of footsteps as Masami walked away, leaving her head to rest on the bed as she felt something hot begin coursing through her again. It was like molten lava—like the poison from months ago—but different. It hurt and then left only to come back and hurt worse than before. The constant coming and going of the pain barely let her listen to what Masami was saying as she paced the room.

"And even if you do have what it takes, you won't," she said with an airy tone to her voice that made Ceara want to puke as it mixed in with the agony. "Can't you just imagine?" she asked, feigning sadness with a frown on her lips. "Poor Sousei and Suisei knowing the truth: that out of revenge for your brother, you, who had conquered a dungeon unbeknownst to us, came and plundered the Reizei Household when they were young with the intention to kill all of us."

At hearing this, Ceara's breath stopped and her heart sank to her stomach with disgust. What…?

"That because you want us to suffer just as much as you had from Cael's death that one wasn't enough for you. That when you killed Kohaku, you took her place with the intention to destroy us from within." Masami feigned a gasp, a hand coming to lay upon her chest as if in disbelief of her own words. "And when I found out, you threatened to kill me or worse, kill them, if I ever said one word about who you really were. That through all these years I've been but a pawn thrown around by you to accomplish the annihilation of the Imperial family that sent your brother to war and the family of its general, Reizei Koujiro, who failed to protect him. They would be...absolutely horrified and so, so heartbroken."

Unbelievable.

But even knowing that it wasn't true—that no one could possibly believe such ludicrous story—panic began to set deep in her mind. It settled there and spread like a plague, holding her sanity hostage.

"...n-n-no one will believe you…"

"Won't they?" she asked with a smirk on her lips. "Who am I but the firstborn daughter of the Reizei family, right? And what's more, who wouldn't believe me when I have such strong evidence right—" reaching down to her head, Ceara felt Masami's fingers as they slid the hairpin out from her hair, letting it fall around her; the dread in her suddenly became too real. "Here." She twirled the hairpin in her fingers, a gleam coming off of it as the candlelight hit it. "After all, Kohaku's first dungeon was and has always been Beleth. Murmur only belongs to you, Ceara of Ériu. And that is an undeniable fact that not even you can change." Her grin widened and she stepped back as Ceara tried but failed to reach her even if she had to throw her body at her now that her limbs failed her. Ceara scrambled as she could, trying to reach Masami in vain. "And all I need to do is thread in enough pieces of truth to make it plausible. If there is truth, no matter how fictitious the rest is, it will create doubt. And doubt is all I need against you. Because who's ever going to believe a pathetic, little murderer like you over me?"

No. It can't be that easy.

But it was, and she had seen such thing work. What was Kou's introduction of itself into other countries but an erasure of the truth by a fabricated story? It worked and when played correctly, it worked extremely well. Ceara had no doubt that the tale that Masami had spun could most certainly put everyone against her. The truth wouldn't matter.

As she struggled uselessly to raise herself from the ground, nausea and despair began hitting her hard. From the corner of her blurry vision, just to the side of Masami, Ceara could see a faint silhouette. One that she recognized as a melting body—Hakuyuu—and when it spoke, the ruckus in her ears resonated with such dissonance that it hurt her ears. The melting figure strode forward so painfully slow and shakily that Ceara couldn't discern whether it was walking towards her or away. It wasn't until it came to be just beside Masami—who by this point had turned into a messy array of colors—that she saw the wicked sneer that spread on its face.

"She can make them hate you before you even speak."

Terror spread in her as everything around her began to sway in her vision; this, sadly, didn't impair her mind completely and she could understand why the melting figure would say that. Even if she did tell the twins first, Masami was right. They would always believe Masami over her. It's how they were taught to think: blood ever thicker than water.

"You realize it now, don't you?" she asked with a faintness to her voice that she faintly recognized. It wasn't angered or indignant, just calm and collected. Just like Masami always was when she knew she had won. "They will only see you for what you have done: killing Kohaku, taking her place, and fooling everyone for your own selfish reasons."

A small part of Ceara's mind screamed at her—the one that had been nourished the past month, hell, past year—and gave her a very weak voice to speak with. "...It's not true. I-I cared for Kohaku more than anything. I cared for her...just as much as I care for Sou and Sui. That's something you will never be able to twist into such a horrid lie!"

"No?" she asked, "Then your disappearance for three months after Cael's death is nothing that they wouldn't question? After all, they both knew of Ceara, Kohaku's vassal, and they had seen Cael and you around. All I have to do is connect the dots on who you and Cael were; after that, I just need to tell them that you were so distraught and warped by revenge after losing him that you snapped and decided to avenge him by killing us all."

It wasn't possible. She couldn't spin that so morbidly and get away with it.

Out of nowhere, her stomach turned which for her to dry heave as the room spun in her eyes. At opening them back, she noted how another horrid apparition came to be by the corner of the room. Like Hakuyuu's melting body, this one wavered in its appearance—almost like fog—and pranced up to them, looking at Ceara over Masami's shoulder. The apparition's cobalt blue eyes stared down at her, her dainty lips in a jeering grin as Ceara stared up at Kohaku's wraith.

"Yet she will. And oh so easily."

"See?" Masami said with a softness to her voice that seemed out of place. "It doesn't have to be true. It just has to be told correctly for it to become an irrefutable truth in their eyes. Once I do that, it won't be a matter of if they'll forgive you or not." A wicked grin came to Masami's lips and she covered it with her sleeve as a chuckle came from them. "It'll be a matter of whether they'll let the government execute you or do it themselves."

"Please...don't." Ceara had no idea what took over her—fear, desperation, dread, panic—but she didn't want it to become true. She couldn't just let Masami twist the truth when she had just began to get comfortable with the idea of telling it. "Don't poison them with so much hate. Even if it's against me, they shouldn't be forced down that path. You, out of everybody, should know how much it hurts to know the truth. Don't make it worse for them by lying to them."

"Well, that's out of my hands at this point," Masami answered. Walking up to the canopy bed, she undid the ropes that tied the drapes against the poles and held them apart, testing their sturdiness. "But you are right, I do know. Which is why I know what your answer will be to my offer." Ceara watched intently, or tried to, as Masami's disfigured image approached her while the foggy apparitions stood behind her like a horrid audience, mocking her. "So allow me to repeat it for you one more time—will you be my obedient, little servant girl or would you let them suffer and hate you just like I have?"

What kind of choice is that...?

Both Hakuyuu and Kohaku sneered and sudden figures joined them, sprouting from the macabre shadows that the flames of the oil lamps made. Figures whose faces began to distort into some she vaguely recognized as soldiers—people she let die, that she killed herself. All of them crushed her under their scrutiny and mocking jeers. They were all her judges and jury. And by what she could see—a sight that brought tears to her eyes and utter torture to her heart—they had already handed their verdict to the executioner.

"One you can't refuse."

Without another word, Ceara lowered her head and nodded once.

"Good," she heard her say while their cackles continued in the background. Warm hands came to her wrists, the contrast between them and her cold skin being so much that she felt every touch as it froze her. She felt the roughness of the rope wrap around her wrists and felt herself being pulled upward. It wasn't until she could remain upright, feeling the floor just inches away as her toes scraped against it, that she felt Masami tie her to the top of the canopy bed and against the pole to hold her in place. Giving it one more yank, Ceara winced at the odd sensation that having anything touch her skin gave.

It was hot and rough, like a serrated blade against her wrists and back, but at the same time numbing. Her vision, too—she could barely see anything at this point that wasn't right in front of her face. Everything except those ghouls. They remained to mock and gloat in their victory. She could feel how her lungs were beginning to constrict more and more. At that moment, despite feeling the pain that came from them, she couldn't move neither her legs nor arms. Whatever poison she had used, it had broken her to a point that she had never felt before.

And the people...

This was completely surreal...but too realistic at the same time.

The worst was that it didn't affect her hearing. On the contrary, every sound was jarring and distinct—Masami's racing heartbeat, the cackling of the people—and that made things all the worse when she heard Masami's words as she brandished the knife and a vial of purple liquid.

"Now...be silent, little lamb."

---

A/N:

Don't edit it yet, I told myself. You haven't written for the other story yet, I told myself. And yet there's this huge part of me that just won't let me work on anything else knowing I have this chapter in my google docs. Nope, my conscious has failed me. And so you have this.

Such highs and lows in this chapter, holy cow. I know it's only been like, what, a week since I uploaded the last chapter but hopefully this puts you guys on edge until next time. 'Cause if it doesn't, then I'm not doing my job right :D

Anyway, I still want to thank everyone who Reviewed, Favorited, and Followed but because I don't have much time to do so individually, I'll give you all a huge 'thank you' and send you lots of hugs too! You guys make writing this so worthwhile and it gladdens me that you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

Speaking of writing, I have a little treat for you guys. It's a small omake that didn't really fit into the story. It's a fun tidbit about Beleth's Metal Vessel and hints to that little series I was talking about making in the future for Magi. So, before I let you guys go, enjoy this little morsel.

---

Omake: When A Sparrow Flies By

Shika—8 years ago

I hear it.

There was no mistaking it. She clearly heard the chirping of birds around and not just any kind. She remembered hearing them before in the beach, soft and happy. And she wanted to go see where they were.

But…

She turned back to the desk where she had been sitting that was littered with papers. Homework from her tutors that she definitely didn't want to do. Especially when they were nothing interesting: etiquette, poise, embroidery. The only interesting bits were the history—if one could call what they had given her that—the calligraphy, and arithmetics. She missed training and learning about the economy, things she had studied briefly back in the Imperial Palace. But that had been already a year ago before the fire. Now General Koujiro didn't want them to return to Shika despite how much she and Masami had complained about it.

So they stayed home...and Ceara was already bored out of her damn mind. Despite being thirteen, her body was still growing at its own pace, ignoring what would usually be the norm for most girls her age. It was something she was glad for, at least, because Kohaku would barely be eleven this year.

Still…

Taking the small carnation hairpin from between the folds of her hafun, she caressed Murmur with one thumb as she laid on the floor of her room, staring up at the ceiling.

"I want to go out."

"Then go, little one," he said and chuckled. "Not much stopping you but yourself."

Turning over to lay on her stomach, Ceara glared at the door were she knew a couple of guards stood. She had already snuck out a couple of times from her quiet study time. Neither Koujiro nor Arianna had liked that. Now this was what she got for it.

"I can't." She huffed and planted her face on the floor. "The guards. They'll tell."

"Come up with another plan. You're good for contingencies."

"Contingencies?"

"Plans for in case your original one fails."

"I think that's more luck than anything," she mumbled but couldn't continue their conversation as the sound of the doors came to interrupt her. Not bothering to rise, Ceara only heard an airy chuckle that got her to smile and lift herself from the floor, knowing exactly who that was. "Ami-nee!"

Masami knelt before her as she stood back up. "Bored?"

"Yeah," she answered and turned to her desk only to stick out her tongue at the mountain of papers. "Etiquette is such a hassle."

"It is but it's something you must learn," Masami agreed. Ceara pouted at this but became curious when Masami turned to the door before leaning in to whisper to her. "But how about we go out for awhile?"

"Out?" Ceara repeated desperately needing that.

Masami chuckled but covered her lips with one finger to quiet them both. Once Ceara was quiet, Masami continued explaining, "For only a couple of hours but yes, so long as you promise to study hard after we return."

"Absolutely!" Ceara exclaimed and clapped her hands over her mouth before chuckling and nodding. "I promise," she whispered.

And like she had promised, Masami managed to get her and even Sousei and Suisei out into town. Because of the festivities of the new year, the town was pretty boisterous and even beyond the noise, Ceara could swear she heard the birds still. They were everywhere and they were giddily singing with the people.

"Kohaku!" Ceara turned about noticing that Masami and the twins had gone a few feet away from her. Running back to them, the twins, barely seven, giggled at their sister as Masami took their hands. "Don't go off and dawdle by yourself."

"S-Sorry!"

But it was really hard not to. The new year was something that the Kou Empire celebrated with a lot of glee. One of the few things actually celebrated when their culture was so lacking, it was a huge festivity that brought lots of the citizens together and brought a lot of jubilee to such quiet city. The fun she had for the few hours completely made her forget about her studies for a while, but as the two hours were coming to a close, she let herself fully relax and just enjoy the end of their outing.

The last thing they would watch, as per what Masami had told her, was going to be the dancing troupe that was in the city. Ceara was so entranced with it that she had just stood quietly up at the front with other kids as they danced, leaving Masami and the twins a bit behind. It didn't bother Masami much that she was way ahead since she could still see her and the twins were simply dancing along in place. After they were done, however, the crowd began dispersing way too quickly. Ceara turned back to Masami but she was more preoccupied with the twins not getting trampled instead. That left her to herself in the sea of people that only seem to be getting denser. Soon enough she lost sight of them as the people continued to come and go around her.

"Get out of here, little king."

"I'm trying," she groaned but as she was trying to push her way through, some person shoved her from behind and pushed her to the ground. Hard as it was to get back up with so many people walking through, Ceara struggled to even turn over from her back. "M-Masami!" she called out but there was no answer. She must be too far from Masami. And as more people began to go around or over her, Ceara began to worry that she would really be trampled.

"Oh, what'd we have here?" A lilting voice called above the ruckus a second before an arm wrapped itself around Ceara's waist. Out of the blue, she felt herself come off of the ground without much effort; Ceara could only watch and thrash as whomever had her took her out to the margins of the streets were there was space to breath. Once out of the crowd, Ceara was placed on her feet by the same hands that had grabbed her before.

Lifting her gaze, her stark blue eyes met bright, sharp eyes of an emerald sheen. They reminded her of an eagle's keen eye. It had been a woman that had helped her, a tall one too. Despite the cloak that covered her clothes, Ceara could tell they were foreign—not from Kou or even from the Eastern Isles—and her complexion was an olive color, as if the sun had kissed it, something definitely not seen around those places. Her long auburn hair hung in waves evenly as it was held up in a high ponytail with a tuft of feathers of a golden tinted crimson color sprouting from behind her right ear and hanging off and down like an ornament.

She was definitely strange and an outsider but the second that she grinned, Ceara felt like the sun had just shone down and a soothing calmness struck her. The woman crouched before her and wiped away at some dirt on Ceara's face before speaking.

"Careful, kiddo," she said, her voice lilting almost as if she were singing. "You almost got trampled there. Where're your folks?"

"My sister and baby siblings," Ceara corrected, thinking she understood the colloquialism the woman had used. "I came with them, not my parents. I got lost when the crowd broke."

"Ah, I see," she called and stood up to look about the place. The crowd had begun to dwindle but there was still a sea out there that would certainly impede her from looking for Masami and the twins. "And I surmise they'd be smelling like you too then."

Smell? "E-Excuse me?" she asked unable to believe what she'd heard.

The woman turned back giving Ceara the same toothy grin from before, the feathers behind her ear shining like gold in the sun and slightly perking upward. "Your smell, kid—like mint and 'nilla from a library with a good ol' collection."

What's 'nilla?

"Vanilla, I would suppose," Murmur suggested sounding just the bit confused as she was.

"No worries," the redhead woman told her while folding her arms before her and lifting her nose into the air. "They're still here and coming along this way by the smell of it." She turned her head to the right and grinned, "Told ya."

Following her line of sight, Ceara turned over to see Masami popping in and out of view from among the crowd. Happy to see that she wasn't as lost as she had thought, she began heading to her but stopped briefly.

I need to thank her.

If not for her odd help then at least out of common courtesy. Turning, Ceara opened her mouth to speak but found nobody behind her. The space where the woman had been was completely empty and even looking through the crowd, Ceara saw nothing but nameless faces.

A faint glint of gold caught her eye and she glanced downward. Right near her, a feather hovered, swaying back and forth as if it had just fallen from a bird and landing at her feet. Bending down, Ceara picked it up and let the sun hit the bird's feather—it was gold with the ends tinted in slight crimson.

Like the woman's feathers.

A sudden gasp escaped her when the crimson of the feather began to spread like ink and cover its golden hue. Within seconds it had changed completely and was now a normal red feather and much lighter than before. She examined it all around unable to understand what had just happened.

What in the—

"Kohaku!"

Instinctively, Ceara hid the feather within the folds of her hanfu, next to Murmur, before turning to Masami who was red from all the running and dragging the twins around. The tiny toddlers whined about it being too hot and being tired but Masami was more focused on Ceara as she began to scold her for not keeping close to them. Ceara took the scolding knowing that she deserved it but as they made their way back to the Reizei Estate, she couldn't help herself from thinking about the strange woman that had helped her.

She shone bright, like the sun, and it was hard to look at but even harder to look away.

And the feather…

As she sat in her room back in their estate, trying to study, Ceara couldn't help a thought away as she stared at the small jar and feather pens on her desk. Bringing the red feather up and overlapping it over the rest of her pens, she tilted her head curiously.

I wonder how hard it is to make a pen.

---

Cute. And it's also kinda sad to see how the relationship with her and Masami used to be back then. Anyway, yeah! Short but adorable.

As for updates, there won't be any anytime soon. This time for sure because I don't have anything written nor an outline for the next chapter, although I do have a good idea of what I'll write. Anyway, now I can let you guys go properly. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and stay tuned for the next update.