Well, now we've reached the final chapter. How will it all culminate? How will it end? Will I ever get over my addiction to writing? Probably not! But let's read on and find out what happens to poor Deidara...
Deidara Unwillingly has the Happy Story Forced upon him and Wonders Vaguely What to do Before his Sense of Purpose Returns
Deidara winced when Michiko's glare fell on him, but it hit them both in turn, and by look of things Itachi didn't enjoy it either.
"Scared I'll win?" he whispered, glancing cautiously at Michiko.
"Not in the least," Itachi replied. But his eyes didn't agree.
"Well?" Michiko demanded, coming to a stop mere feet away. "I'm still waiting for an answer."
Deidara was relieved it was directed at Itachi; he didn't think, after just having been killed again, he would have been able to withstand it. He could tell it was going only going to get worse though, because she had already entered the first stage: The Setting of The Mouth. Next came The Jutting of The Hip, and then The Crossing of The Arms, and then The Tapping of The Foot… and he had no wish to know if it went beyond that. Last time she had even gotten that far he had been pretty shaken, and he had only been a witness!
Itachi seemed as reluctant to speak as he was. "Um, just… settling something, finally." He avoided looking directly at her, becoming suddenly interested in a scuffmark on the floor. Deidara almost could have snickered if he hadn't been afraid of how Michiko would react.
"This 'something' wouldn't have anything to do with me, now would it?" Jut.
"Um, actually, it kind of sort of maybe does…?" Itachi projected while at the same time asking her about it.
"And why am I just now finding out?" Cross.
Deidara was getting anxious. He could hardly stand being left out of this thing that almost passed for a conversation, but he knew trying to enter could have disastrous consequences on how Michiko perceived him, and he really needed all the assurance he could get. Because deep down, hiding behind the trashcan in the corner of his soul, he was scared. Scared that Michiko wouldn't pick him, scared that she really didn't care, scared that he was only a substitute for use when Itachi wasn't there.
He pushed the thought aside.
"Um… because we didn't want to bother you?"
Obviously she would pick him. What was he thinking? She had been the one to come to him, kiss him, stand there holding him while she trashed Itachi's self-esteem. In fact, if Itachi had just stayed dead, she would still have been with him.
'Yeah, key concept there being that once Itachi came back you were no longer needed,' the voice sneered. 'You –'
'If you keep ragging on him about it, he won't have a chance.'
Deidara was surprised; this was the first time in ages the other, meeker voice had made an appearance… figuratively speaking.
'You didn't let me finish!' the first voice snapped. 'I was going to say that he needs to take charge if anything worthwhile is going to happen, but never mind. I'm out.'
He blinked. That had really been an almost pointless conversation, in which he had not even been included. How absurd!
"Really, it wouldn't have been a bother. What is it you wanted to settle?" Tap.
"Um… – "
"Which of us do you prefer?" Deidara asked quietly. He looked up and straight at her. "Who do you actually love?"
And there was apparently another step Michiko could follow on the road to cowing people thoroughly and shattering their self-confidence. It would be called The Raising of The Eyebrows While Still Scowling Slightly, Making You Feel Like a Total Dip-Shit.
She looked at him, just like that, and opened her mouth.
"Itachi."
His eyes got sucked into tunnel vision for a moment that hung there forever, but when he came out it made him even more conscious of the fact that everyone else was there. Everyone, watching him get publicly rejected and stomped on, like some sort of beat up rug.
And the way she had said it! There had been no hesitation, no pause for reflection. Just an immediate statement. And she had even managed to sound perplexed, as if wondering how he could possibly have thought otherwise. …How? How could she have fit so much hurt into one name, three syllables?
"…But… But you said you loved me…?"
"I recall no such thing," she retorted, looking at him hard – as if she could see him – with her solid black eyes, like she was trying to figure out what he was getting at. Meanwhile, a smirking Itachi had floated over to her and proceeded to hang his arms around her neck like a scarf, glaring at him victoriously. "I told you I'd win," he seemed to say. "I'm never wrong."
"But it was implied…" he insisted brokenly, trying not to sound completely hopeless.
"Key word there being 'lied'."
Amazing, really, how she could still be clever while dissecting someone's heart. But Deidara felt like he was still absorbing the impact of her first answer, as if he needed an aftershock to be convinced there had even been an initial quake.
"But you loved me… It was you, and me, and I love you, and you loved me…"
"Not really," she said slowly, shaking her head. "It wasn't really… real love. It was more like… physical love."
Deidara could see at this point Itachi was just getting annoyed, but he didn't really register that thought. It just sort of passed through his mind, waving goodbye as quickly as it had said hello.
"No it wasn't," he mumbled at her. "It was real. But the second he came back, it wasn't there anymore. I just woke up and you were gone…"
"Deidara," she stated, speaking like one would to a stubborn child, "exactly what is it that you're not getting about this? You only ever even got a chance to think that because Itachi was dead."
There was something spiteful in that, but it still sounded like an absolute truth as it tumbled from her lips like an angel falling from grace.
Substitute.
The word blasted through his mind, leaving echoes to keep the wound from scarring over. She had never really loved him after all, or so she said. But it had felt so real…
"It did," he muttered to himself. "It felt so real…"
"It wasn't," she insisted. "I was just venting my romantic frustrations on you. Because Itachi was dead. I needed somebody…"
It had all been just a game, and he had thought he was a player when he as really just a pawn. A stupid, lowly, only able to move one space at a time pawn. He was about to kick himself for being such a blind idiot when he stumbled upon a light, a strangled beacon of hope.
"But the reason Itachi died…" he spouted, mustering his enthusiasm once more. "Before he was dead, you kissed me. Me. And you loved me."
"Again, Deidara; venting. I was just pissed about…" she paused and tilted her head back, accidentally going through Itachi's head. "What was it again?"
"I don't remember," he replied offhandedly.
"Well, anyway, I was just pissed. It wasn't really something real… It was more of a fuck-off kiss."
"…You were telling me to fuck off?" Deidara was confused. It had been real, to him. And it hadn't exactly been a dissuading kind of kiss, either.
"No, I was telling Itachi to fuck off," she stated matter-of-factly.
"So… you wanted him to walk in on us…?" And he had thought it was a simple thing: he loved her, she loved him…
"Let's not use the term 'us', but yes. You see, it was more to incite an argument. We seem to come together best after an argument… But then somebody just had to go off and kill himself!"
"I don't see why I should have to apologize," Itachi muttered mutinously. "I mean, how was I supposed to know you were just taunting me? I have to admit it looked pretty real from my perspective, too."
"But how could you even think that could have been real?" she demanded.
"…Um, you're a good actress?"
"Thanks, but flattery will get you nowhere."
Deidara sighed. They were bickering like an old –
'NO! Don't even start thinking like that, or everything will have been pointless!'
"…So I was just a point of conflict?"
Michiko sighed and nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. Although I'd be lying if I said I hadn't enjoyed it tremendously. I mean, kudos to you, but still, most of that came from the thrill."
Deidara blinked, and Itachi gave her an odd look as well. "The thrill?"
"Well, yes. Most of my participation came from my knowing that I was successfully luring you into a position of complacent feeding."
He blinked again.
"Shall I use small words, so even you can understand? I just wanted you to think you were getting something out of it, because I just wanted someone I could feed off of without complaining. And now I have to go back to the rabbits, thanks to you two."
It wasn't ever really about me. It was about blood. You didn't really care what was happening, did you? It was all a blood-game, to see if I could be suckered into feeding you.
"It could have been anyone," he muttered, more as a statement than a question.
"Not necessarily. You made the most inviting target because I didn't know of anyone else who was so hopelessly infatuated with me I already had him wrapped around my finger. I didn't think anyone else would trip over himself just to be devoured."
Deidara felt something settling into his chest, something cold, like a frozen cat curling up around his vital organs and going to sleep, letting the chill sink in slowly, to give him frostbite from the inside out. He didn't have much of a frame of reference for it except other experiences with Michiko, but even so, none of the others had been this bad.
"…But –"
And Michiko seemed to snap, drawing in a quick breath to begin shouting. "Deidara, what part of this do you not understand?! I don't love you! I never loved you! You were my toy, something to amuse me! You were my emotional punching bag, except you enjoyed the punches! Itachi died and I needed a substitute, and you were closest thing I could get! Of course my feelings were taken into account, because once he was back all the dynamics changed! I didn't need you anymore, and what was that whole mature thing you had about backing off?! Was that some sort of diversion and you were plotting something all along?! I actually liked you for a while there, when you were being… normal, and I liked talking to you! I thought you were my friend, like my best friend! And then you ruin it! I don't even wanna be your friend anymore, you screw everything up! Why don't you just disappear?!"
Deidara didn't even wince. He didn't have anything left in him that allowed him to wince. That cat had started using his insides as a personal scratching post, and he felt all frayed and shredded.
There was nothing really left of him. He could no longer even take solace in the fact that she had once loved him.
She had thoroughly destroyed him.
There was nothing left of him, only the shape held together by his mind, held there for eternity in the state of his death; unmarred, unmarked.
His mind, however, had not been able to take her constant, solid blows. His heart had gone and hid inside his head, emotions crumbling to dust like a once great civilization, and his mind had taken the brunt of her attacks.
And it wasn't his heart that kept his immaterial form from collapsing and drifting away.
It had been a pleasant tingle at first, the loss of feelings in his feet and hands. He couldn't even muster enough control to glance down, but he could guess what was happening, only because he knew it in his heart. He was fading away, becoming even more ghostly than before, enough so that his shape couldn't stay together, give itself support. He hardly even had a thought, now he was almost faded entirely.
He grinned slightly, in a very sad way, and looked at Michiko, the only thing he could see in his newest bout of tunnel vision.
Disappear.
Well, that's all, folks! Isn't that sad? And why do we enjoy doing such horrible things to Deidara? I think Eris puts it best: "He suffers so prettily."
But anyway, I feel so sad now that the story has finally ended. Those of you who have been saving reviews until the end or just plain haven't, I would love to hear from you. I'd like to know what you thought, why you stuck with the story until the end (because not many people actually did...), or even why you hated it.
And not like I'm hinting or anything, but I think maybe I'm going to indulge myself and possibly write this final chapter from Michiko's POV, too. wink, wink, nudge, nudge