"Becs, that's incredible!" Chloe practically cheered. The two were seated at the kitchen island in the Bella house. It was still early and most of the other girls weren't yet awake. Beca had seen Stacie as she headed off to the gym. That girl was an unstoppable cardio machine. While Beca admired her dedication to staying fit, she also always felt a twinge of satisfaction knowing that she was not at the gym when she saw Stacie head there. She'd seen Jessica, too, running off to an early AM class, cursing (as she always did) registering for an 8:30am seminar her final semester at Barden. But other than that, the rest of the Bellas had yet to show themselves. The DJ imagined they were all still exhausted from the retreat.
Beca hadn't gotten much sleep herself, despite how tired she was. She was too excited to tell Chloe about her idea for Worlds, so when the redhead returned her text around 8:00am, the DJ had quickly fled downstairs to the kitchen.
Coffee's on. Come down when you're ready. I'll tell you all about it.
Chloe had joined only moments later, still clad in her sea foam green matching pajama set. She hadn't even taken the time to brush her hair. Despite the tangled mess, the sun flooding through the kitchen window reflected off the girl's red hair, making the color all the more vibrant. Beca flip-flopped between hating her best friend for looking so damn beautiful, even at her most disheveled, and feeling wonderfully appreciative of her stunning morning glow. She felt her heart warm as she took in the sight of her with her purple "Princess" mug gingerly held centimeters from her perfect lips.
Beca took a large gulp of the coffee in front of her, staring down at the countertop. "You really think so?" she asked, looking back up at her friend.
"Totes! It's gunna be aca-amazing!" Beca smiled at Chloe's exuberance. She never understood how the girl could be so perky in the mornings. When they had all moved into the Bella house, Beca initially found it irritating. She was not a morning person. The red head's bubbly personality rearing its way-too-chipper head before Beca was ready to be awake was a challenge day after day. But, like all things Chloe Beale, it grew on Beca. And now she craved it, needed it even. It was vitalizing. It propelled Beca out of her grumpy, sleepy state each morning into a state in which she was (at least mostly) prepared to take on the day. She couldn't imagine waking up without it, but as her eyes drifted to the calendar stuck to the refrigerator, to the big red word, circled, underlined, and bolded, just a few short weeks from now, Beca knew she'd have to learn. Graduation day was coming, whether she wanted it to or not.
The tiny DJ breathed in the scent of her coffee before taking another sip. "Do you think we'll be able to get enough Bellas?" she asked, placing her cup on the counter.
Chloe nodded. "Of course! They'll all jump at the chance to do this, to relive this time of their life, to be a part of the Barden Bellas becoming reigning World Champions." Beca really couldn't argue with that. She couldn't imagine any former Bellas not wanting to be a part of what was gearing up to be the biggest moment in Bella history. "It's just a matter of who'll be available to fly all the way to Copenhagen. But I'm sure we'll get quite a few." The red head took a drink from her mug. "I know Bree wouldn't miss it." Something seemed to occur to her then. "Oh my gosh, she's gunna be so excited! You have to call her."
"Me?!" Beca sneered. "Shouldn't she be on your list of aca-bitches to ask?"
"It's your idea, Becs. I think you should tell her," answered Chloe. The brunette rolled her eyes at that and gave her best impression of a child who had just been told he can't play outside today because he has to visit his grandmother at the smelly nursing home. Chloe gave her a pointed look, trying to communicate something to her that Beca couldn't quite decipher. The red head cocked an eyebrow. "Besides… she's been wanting to talk to you."
Beca coughed a laugh; she couldn't help herself. "Wanting to talk to me?" She laughed again. "Um, I literally just saw her yesterday. What could she possibly want to talk about?" Beca flashed back to yesterday morning, to her departure from the Lodge at Fallen Leaves, and the weirdness that was Aubrey Posen trying to be nice to her. Something in her subconscious knew, on some level, that something was going on here… something bigger than it all appeared to be. But her conscious mind hadn't yet acknowledged that and even if it had it's not like she would have known what it meant. But Beca could feel that she was missing something. Whatever was happening was, to Beca, like a puzzle she was assembling. It was almost finished, but she was still in the process of discovering and adding pieces. And for now, she wasn't able to decipher what image the puzzle was creating. It left an uneasy feeling in her gut, no matter how unacknowledged it was in her brain.
Chloe just smiled and shrugged. "I don't know. I guess you'll have to ask her."
"Wait a minute," she paused. "When did you even talk to her?"
"Last night," Chloe answered, too quickly. She picked up her mug and took a large swallow of coffee, a pained look gracing her face.
Beca stared at her almost blankly, but eyes tinged with something that resembled anger, but was really more like fear. "I was with you last night, Chlo. When did you talk to her?" she asked slowly, forcefully.
The red head sighed. "After," she replied. "After you left."
Panic gripped her tightly before surging through every muscle in her body like an electric shock. She couldn't believe this. Did Chloe tell Aubrey about what was going on between them? Had she shared all of the intimate, personal, private details with the blonde? Why would she do that?! She needed to know what Chloe might have told the former captain, but knew she couldn't ask. It would make Beca look as panicked as she felt. So though the very thought of it filled her with dread, she refrained from demanding Chloe reveal what she had told the other girl.
"Oh," was all she offered in response instead. Silence hung heavy around them as both women continued drinking their morning beverage. Beca did her best to take the time to get ahold of herself. She felt oddly betrayed by her best friend, and she knew that was unfair. It's not like they had agreed not to talk about it with other people. In fact, Beca was just last night contemplating discussing the situation with someone. Who was she to say Chloe couldn't tell one of her closest friends about it? On top of that, Beca didn't even know if the red head had shared their "secret" with Aubrey. It was totally possible that she hadn't mentioned it, however unlikely that seemed since apparently she had called Aubrey, like, the minute she left the room (or, at least, that's how Beca was imagining it went). But regardless of all the evidence to the contrary, Beca still felt like Chloe had plunged a knife into her back.
Clinging to her mug with both hands, Beca swirled the hot liquid inside and watched it slosh against the white sides. Head still bowed, she looked up toward her friend, who appeared to be waiting for Beca to say something. Chloe looked patient, pensive even, but the DJ also noticed that same fear in her eyes she had seen the night before. It was so weird, the fear. Beca couldn't read it. She had no idea where it was coming from, or what it meant; and after spending 4 years with Chloe, that was seriously disconcerting. Beca knew the other girl, knew her well, and it wasn't very often that she couldn't recognize and articulate what the red head was thinking or feeling just by looking at her.
The sick feeling that brought combined with the potential duplicity wasn't really an enjoyable combination. But embarking on this new thing with Chloe was bound to have these sorts of emotional hiccups. Beca knew that. She reasoned that all the potential turmoil would ultimately be worth it, worth suffering through in order to be that much closer to her best friend. Not to mention all the very pleasant warm tinglies that came with kissing the other girl. Giving that up wouldn't be an easy task, so Beca didn't intend to do it.
Instead she swallowed her pride, swirled her coffee once more, took a sip, and set the mug down. "Yeah, okay. I'll give Aubrey a call later."
The grin that spread across Chloe's face was brighter than the sun. Sure, the older girl was known for her megawatt smiles, but this was one for the record books. It was more than simply gleeful; it was infectious. Beca couldn't help but smile right back at her, staring into shining cerulean pools as those more negative thoughts and feelings melted quickly away and made room for something sincere to warm her chest and sting her cheeks.
"But that means you have to call Alice," the brunette added.
Chloe's smile immediately disappeared as she stared wide-eyed at Beca and shook her head. "No fucking way."
"Chloe…" Beca warned. The DJ only had the pleasure of meeting Alice once, when she attended one of their performances. She didn't really know the girl. She seemed pretty bitchy and her reputation as one of the meanest captains in Bella history was practically legendary. Beca was fully aware of the hell she put Chloe and Aubrey through their junior year and, of course, she did not appreciate that fact. But like it or not, Alice was a Bella and this was about all of them: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Alice was cruel, but that didn't mean she wasn't a part of this sisterhood. "Come on. Bellas for life, dude. You know that. You have to call her."
Chloe rolled her eyes, but conceded. "I know. And I will." She sighed loudly before adding, "But that doesn't mean I have to like it."
After her only class that day and a particularly long and glorious nap, Beca found herself alone in her room, leaning against her headboard, legs folded, one arm crossed against her stomach, the other holding her cell phone to her ear.
"So you'll do it?" she asked.
"Absolutely! I'll just get someone to cover for me here at the Lodge. I wouldn't miss it for anything!"
Beca smiled. She was thrilled that Aubrey would be there, performing with them once more. The past three years had felt strange without her. Despite Aubrey's initial reservations about the "alt girl," it was she and Chloe who had brought Beca into this crazy world of aca-sisterhood. It felt right that they'd both be there, singing beside her, as she helped lead the misfit crew to victory one last time.
"Good," she said. "Because the Bellas wouldn't be worthy of calling ourselves World Champions if it weren't for you." The brunette wasn't really quite sure where that came from. It was true, but it was unlike Beca to articulate that sort of thing out loud to anyone, especially to Aubrey. Their relationship was combative, even at their best. Beca would never characterize their conversations as sentimental or explicitly supportive. This was foreign territory with Aubrey. Beca could certainly act that way – be nice for a spell – but mostly only with Chloe, and sometimes Jesse. Absolutely never with Aubrey.
But it was Aubrey herself that had inspired this idea to invite former Bellas to perform with the current group at Worlds. So Beca shrugged off her own astonishing kindness toward the blonde. It was honest. And she deserved to hear it.
"What?!"
The other girl couldn't let it slide so easily, though. If the brunette was surprised to hear the words come out of her own mouth, then it must have been twice as unexpected for Aubrey. Beca sighed loudly into the phone. What was she supposed to say? To admit the truth felt a bit like walking into a lion's cage at dinner time, like throwing herself to the metaphorical wolves. She'd be revealing an unprecedented amount of vulnerability to Aubrey and it made her feel, well, vulnerable. Extremely vulnerable. And completely defenseless. Even in the most intimate moments she shared with Aubrey (all in front of the other Bellas, of course), Beca always maintained a certain level of defense. She had never let her walls down fully in the blonde's presence.
So a part of her asked the obvious question: why start now? Then she remembered the genuinely kind, empathetic Aubrey – the imposter Aubrey perhaps – that she had heard comforting Chloe outside of the tent. And she remembered the interaction she had shared with the girl as they were leaving camp, an interaction in which Aubrey had been the vulnerable one, as she spoke openly of her feelings for Beca – how proud she was of her – while Beca had spewed her usual sarcastic retorts. Something was telling Beca that Aubrey deserved the same direct sincerity that the girl had afforded her. It was only fair… right?
She spoke quickly, but carefully. "You set the groundwork for this group, Aubrey. I know we butted heads a lot my freshman year, but we never could have accomplished what we have if you didn't whip us into shape in the first place. And that was the hard part, really. You did all the grunt work, and we got all the glory after you graduated. Then you did it all again over the last few days, helping us rediscover our sound. The Barden Bellas would be nothing without you, Bree. You must know that?"
Beca was certain she could, in fact, literally hear if a pin were to drop on the other end of the line. After a moment, she considered the fact that the call might have dropped. "Aubrey? You there?"
The blonde cleared her throat, and relief rushed through Beca. She really, really didn't want to have to repeat that particular speech. "Sorry, yeah. I'm here." But silence followed once more, and it was absolutely killing the DJ.
"Aubrey! Say something. Now. Please," she begged frantically.
"Sorry, uh – that was – okay, wow. That was just… shocking?" It was more of a question than anything else. Aubrey wasn't one to sound uncertain, but she really did now. "I just… I wasn't expecting that. Thank you," she said sincerely.
Something about Aubrey's tone, the way her voice was almost cracking… she sounded like she was about to cry. And Beca's defenses were immediately back. "Yeah, well – I can be nice sometimes, okay?!"
The former captain chuckled and it was still a little sad, but incredibly authentic. It was a beautiful sound, really, but Beca shook that thought from her head before it even had time to fully form. Still, the sound of it warmed her, and took at least one stone down from the walls she had haphazardly thrown back up as she felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips.
"I know you can, Beca."
The words were sweet, and the truthfulness of them made the DJ's cheeks flush with embarrassment. She had to change the subject. Immediately. The discomfort of this particular topic was really starting to get to her.
She swallowed hard. "So, uh – Chloe said you had to talk to me about something?"
"Right…" The brunette wasn't really sure what she was anticipating, but it certainly wasn't the words that followed. "I just," she paused, "I wanted to be sure that you knew that if you ever need to talk… about, like, anything… that I'm only a phone call away."
Beca's stomach dropped. The room spun. She felt like she was falling. Chloe had told her. She had definitely told Aubrey what was going on. It shouldn't have been surprising. After all, the blonde seemed to be clued in from the beginning, based on the conversation Beca had overheard outside the tent that night. But it was somehow surprising anyway. She felt like she was in the middle of some grand conspiracy.
"She told you," Beca stated, rather plainly.
"What do you mean?" came the innocent response, an innocence so forced Beca had to scoff. An actress Aubrey Posen was not.
"You know what I mean," she said more powerfully. The words were terse, but not rude. The anger that was starting to bubble out of her frustration had not yet spilled over. All Beca got from Aubrey, though, was silence, and if that continued, anger was exactly what the older girl was about to get an ear full of. "Look, I know she told you. There's really no point in denying it." Silence. "Aubrey!"
"Okay, fine! Yes, Chloe told me that you two…" Her voice trailed off, and Beca couldn't have been more grateful for that. "I understand that this might be a confusing time for you… and I also assume it's something you're probably not comfortable discussing with the other girls. I know we've never been particularly close, and at times we've been flat out enemies… but I need you to know that I'm here for you, if you need to talk through it."
It should have been strange, this declaration coming from Aubrey. It should have been… but somehow it wasn't. It was sort of nice? Like, really nice. It made Beca feel a little less stressed about the whole thing somehow. Beca had been angry at first – well, scared mostly – when she had realized that Chloe might have told Aubrey. Now she was finding herself thankful she had. The brunette wasn't ready to talk about this, not yet, but it was good to know that there was someone she could talk to, if and when the mood struck her to do so… and not just anyone, but someone who at least seemed to be genuinely judgment-free about the whole thing. It was actually kind of wonderful to have a third party involved, someone to help them both (presumably) navigate this rather hazardous terrain, because Beca knew this situation was a potential minefield of emotion.
Aubrey must have taken Beca's silence as an invitation to keep talking, because she found herself snapped out of her reverie by the other girl's voice. "I want us to be friends, Beca." The blonde's voice drifted, becoming so soft and so quiet that Beca strained to hear the rest of her thought. "We've never been close, but… I'd, well, I'd like us to be."
The DJ was overwhelmed by this admission. The girl sounded downright fragile. The vulnerability Beca was feeling only moments ago paled in comparison to the vulnerability Aubrey was sharing with her now. It was raw, and it was unanticipated. Beca's jaw dropped as she attempted to speak, to reply, but she was still in such awe of the moment that she couldn't manage to say anything at all. And that was the funny thing, really… that there wasn't a sardonic response ready to fire. In fact, Beca wasn't even aiming for sardonic at all.
"Beca…?" came the voice on the phone, still quiet, still exposed.
She cleared her throat, giving herself a brief moment to collect herself. "Yeah, um… Thanks. I'd—I'd like that…too." It was a bit broken, but it was sincere and it was kind. It was what she had intended it to be.
"Well… good," Aubrey said, perking up a bit and infusing the conversation with some much needed cheerfulness, "So you'll talk to me, you know… if you need to?"
Beca appreciated the hopefulness of the "if." She didn't like to think she was relying on someone to be there for her when she needed them, because so many people had failed to do exactly that throughout her life. But if Beca was being honest with herself, she knew she'd be seeking out Aubrey, sooner or later. She knew this thing was going to get a bit harder before it got easier, and it was a relief to know she wouldn't have to go through it alone.
"Yeah, Aubrey. I will."
A/N: This was a a really tough one for me to write, for some reason (hence the delay, among the holiday madness)... so I hope it came out okay? Leave me a review and let me know what you think.