Chapter 9
The lack of sleep, together with all the chaotic emotions, had finally taken its toll on Chloe. She felt so rotten she was not able to function properly at all, leaving her no choice but to take the afternoon off. She went home, hoping she could nap a bit and regain some of her energy.
She was about to climb into bed when she heard the front door open, followed by a commotion.
Is that… Fat Amy's voice?
In Amy's defence Beca had not been a very good friend lately; she had been ignoring texts and calls. It left Fat Amy no choice but to climb out of her Cayman Island cocoon.
Amy had successfully tracked down Beca while she was on the way home from the studio. Beca was shock to say the least. She tried to convince Amy they could grab dinner some day and talk then; but no, Amy was not buying into any of that. She knew how Beca evaded confrontations and if they were going to talk, they were going to talk now -
In Beca's apartment.
"So it never occurred to you to tell me, your best friend, that Chloe's back?" Amy was starting to yell, and Beca didn't like that.
"Okay, first of all, Chloe's not "back, back". Second, I was going to tell you but I had things coming out of my butt, non-stop. It wasn't intentional but I just really didn't have the time." Beca threw her bag on the sofa.
"Aubrey knew."
"Jesus, Amy! I didn't tell Aubrey. Chloe told Aubrey and Aubrey talked to me!" Beca threw her hands in the air. "This is ridiculous. You're getting mad at me because I didn't tell you Chloe's pregnant and staying with me? Amy, there are so many things that are more important than this right now!"
"Yes and that includes my concerns for my best friend's well-being!"
Then came silence.
"Beca, you broke into a million pieces after Chloe left. I witnessed that. And if you were me, you would be concerned."
Beca looked at Amy for a second, and then started to smile and shake her head.
Fat Amy was starting to get really concerned - Beca Mitchell was having inappropriate responses and emotions.
"Amy, yes, my heart broke into a million pieces 4 years ago. And while I picked up my own pieces along the way and tried putting them back together, I said to myself, I would never let that happen to me again. Because I understood that nobody was responsible for my own heart but myself."
Beca paused for a second and then continued. "And then for the last few years, I felt nothing for anybody. I thought, maybe that's because I've learnt my lesson. Maybe because of Chloe I closed myself up again. I thought that it was normal to not be able to fall for someone, because that meant protection - safeguarding my own heart."
"Beca, that's a really sad thought…" Fat Amy could fell the pain herself.
Beca shook her head. "But now, I realised that was not the reason. I felt nothing, not because my heart was crushed. I felt nothing because my heart, which broke for that one person, would only ever feel for that such person. This may all sound really stupid - and believe me, I have gone through the past month thinking about this over and over again - but Amy, if I were to choose, between running the possible risk of getting hurt again or feeling nothing," She looked at Amy with such certainty in her eyes. "I would pick her again. Not going after her after our first Nationals was the stupidest decision I have ever made; and she may have made a bad judgement several years ago. Hell, she may have made a really foolish decision now to keep that baby. But I don't care. I would choose her. Over and over again."
Fat Amy paused for a second, before she broke into a smile. "All the movie education Jesse gave you may not have turned you straight; but it sure has turned you into a big pile of mush."
And they both laughed.
Fat Amy knew it was time to leave Beca alone; but more importantly, it was time to report everything that just happened to her Bella sisters.
As Beca ushered Fat Amy out of the apartment and walked back into her room, she noticed the light that was seeping through underneath the guest room door.
Chloe curled up on the bed and the only thing she could do was sob. The words Beca said - she deserved none of them.
She didn't notice the creak from the opening of the room door; but she sure noticed the weight of the body that had now climbed into her bed. She noticed the arms that were now wrapping around her waist and the forehead that was now touching her own. Chloe couldn't open her eyes; she couldn't allow her conscience to accept that she was worthy of Beca's love.
That was until she heard Beca's authoritative and certain yet calmed voice -
"Stay."