"She rode a long, long way, until they came to a large steep cliff. The white bear knocked on it. A door opened, and they came into a castle, where there were many rooms all lit up; rooms gleaming with silver and gold."
Rey couldn't believe she was here in the forest again. Even being trained by Master Luke seemed to have no effect at all, because the bear of her dreams was calling her. After everything that happened, blowing up Starkiller Base and the fight in the snow, she was sure of the identity of the bear. Or whatever that animal represented.
The forest was the same, colorful and bright, but there was a new addition. A castle, almost as big and tall as the ships she used to climb in the desert. All black, made of stones and marble. The moon reflected on the windows, giving the place an ethereal appearance. It was by far the most beautiful place she had ever been, offering a different kind of warmth, one she never felt, not even on Ahch-To where the Force calmed her. No, here the warmth pulsated with strength and emotion.
"It seems you came back after all," the bear said, as he appeared through the trees, his white fur shining in the moonlight.
"Not really my choice, if you want to know," she told him, as her arms crossed at her chest. "But again, this is becoming rather a habit for us, right?"
At this, Rey could swear he flinched. "I'm sorry. Please accept my apologies on his behalf." He lowered his head, as if pained to remember. She couldn't believe the same man who chased and fought her was the same as the bear standing right in front of her.
"I know it's difficult to comprehend, but he and I are the same. Two sides of a being that is literally being torn apart by his decisions, by his emotions." She knew he was speaking the truth, even though she couldn't really understand what he meant. How could someone be split into two? What kind of madness had she gotten herself into?
"Look, I really have no idea what you're talking about. But what I do know is that you are Kylo Ren, the one who killed his own father and is desperately trying to find my master." She got closer to him, trying to make him realize what was really happening out there. "And only the Maker knows why. Ren doesn't seem at all like you, but he did everything I just said without faltering, and will continue to do so."
Rey stared deep into his eyes, seeing the same ones that had looked back at her in the interrogation room, but with much more sadness and regret, feelings she'd felt during their last encounter, much more amplified.
"I told you so, didn't I? That if you wanted to save me you needed to be understanding." He shook his head quietly, almost as if regretful. "But it's apparent now that your only wish is to destroy me. Perhaps because you fear for your friends or for yourself." He turned around, as if heading to the castle.
"Wait, you're just going to leave me here?" she said, with panic in her voice.
"Don't worry; you'll leave as soon as your body wakes up. But I would suggest building up stronger mental walls if you wish to not come here anymore." He continued to walk away from her, and she couldn't understand why her chest hurt so much at seeing him leaving.
She still could recall her last dream with him, how quickly she offered to free him, acting so courageously; believing that after years of fighting for herself there was nothing she couldn't face. How wrong she was. Now she knew about the Force, the true strength of the First Order and of course, the power one could hold with a lightsaber like Kylo Ren and Master Luke. The galaxy seemed so vast, making people and things much more frightening than she could ever hope to defeat.
Despite that, she couldn't leave him. For some reason way beyond her comprehension, she felt drawn to him, to the entity that represented a long forgotten part of the man in the mask. And, if she was being true to herself, her encounters with him when she was awake only strengthened their bond. She could negate it, build up walls to close her heart and mind, but the truth was still there. They were connected somehow. And whatever this was, even against her better judgment, she must try to at least understand and figure it out, possibly not all by herself.
"Wait! Hold on," she shouted at him, running after the white spot in the forest. She couldn't refrain from thinking back to the chase on Takodana and their fight in the snow, but this time she was the pursuer. She was so focused on trying to reach him that she didn't realize how close they had come to the black castle. Only when she reached the border between the dense high trees and the vast field did the dark building really show itself. She abruptly stopped in her tracks, looking for the bear. He was crossing a bridge to reach the castle, which she could see now, was on the other side of a cliff.
"Stop, please! We need to talk!" She started to run again, this time knowing for sure he listened when he turned his head at her direction. Slowing down, she almost crossed the bridge, waiting for him to turn around fully.
"Rey, you should just leave. Being here is dangerous for both of us," he said, almost pleading to her. She scoffed. Clearly he didn't know her that well if he truly believed she would just run away.
"I told you before, I can look out for myself. This may be a very strange situation, but regardless, I promised you I would help, so I will." She tried to catch her breath, remembering why running in the wild was such a difficult task. "But I can only do that if you help me. I need to understand what is happening with us and how you ended up here. I may not have training, but I think I'm strong enough to help you and your other half."
"And why would you do that? As you so fiercely put, my counterpart is a person who has done terrible things to the galaxy and will not stop until his goal is fulfilled. Why would you try to help such a horrific person?" he said, and his tone showed anger and annoyance at her.
"To be honest, I don't know either, but I feel that whatever is connecting us together is important, and right now it's guiding me to you. I tend to follow my instincts and they're telling me to figure out why we are in this position, and what it represents for the both of us."
"So you are just going to ignore all that I have done in favor of your gut? I'm sorry, but that doesn't seem convincing at all."
"I'm not ignoring what you did, but I think there is more to you than just your actions. Besides shouldn't I be the suspicious one around here? After all, you're the one who tried to kill me, so if anyone should be looking for reassurances, that should be me." She crossed her arms again, trying to assure him that she wouldn't leave. She couldn't stop thinking about how the whole situation was surreal. She was making sure that Kylo Ren, one of the most feared men in the galaxy, could trust her. And above all, at his fluffy and apparently, more gentle part. If this was some sort of test from the Force, she needed to have a long conversation with Master Luke about how the Force 'connected all things together'.
"I'm sorry for my reservations, but after such a long time, trusting is a very difficult thing for me," he said, tiredly. She didn't blame him. For someone who had lived so long only depending on herself, letting another person in was rather complicated. But if they wanted this to work, they needed to trust each other.
"Believe me, I understand, probably better than anyone," she whispered, and felt more than saw him get closer to her.
"Perhaps we have more in common than we both realize," he said, and his snout was so near her face she couldn't resist caressing his soft fur. He was beautiful.
"So any particular reason why you chose the bear as your alter ego?" This was the question that had been bugging her since she found out who he truly was.
"My subconscious apparently chose for me, but I believe my childhood played an important role in the decision," he said, guiding her through the bridge, with Rey still holding his head.
"Did you meet with a giant bear when you were younger?" He chuckled.
"No. Before my Jedi training began, I used to read a lot of books. It was one of my favorite things to do, and the ones I enjoyed the most were filled with fantasy and adventures. One in particular caught my eye, the tale of a man who was cursed to have a beast inside him and a brave woman was his only hope of being free." He glanced at her, probably judging her reaction to his memory and the irony of the situation.
"Is that so? Never took you for a reader." She rolled her eyes. "And before you ask, yes, I see the similarities. But this time, it seems the beast is the good guy and the man is the true monster." She clenched her fingers into his fur, remembering running away from the creature with a mask.
"Things are far more complicated than they look." He sighed and stared ahead, as if the black marble could give him all the answers he needed.
"I know, but can you blame me for being a bit wary of him? Besides, one of the reasons I'm here is to figure out this whole mess."
"And you can only do so if you start to realize he and I are the same." He looked at her then, and shook his head. "Never mind, I guess you need to learn this by yourself. We're here."
The castle was right in front of her, which surprised Rey. She looked back quickly, wondering how they arrived there so fast. She was right; the place was as black as the night sky, the great doors almost reflecting her. The windows were all covered by black curtains, giving a mysterious atmosphere. What, by the stars, was inside this building?
"What are we doing here?" she asked, dreading the answer.
"This is an important place for me, Rey. It guards some powerful things and for that reason, I need to know if you are fully prepared to enter. Because if you do, then we can't come back. We need to pass through all that it guards until we reach the other side," he said, in a serious tone. She was going to meet the real person under the mask.
"What's inside?" she asked, while looking again to the castle.
"Memories, thoughts and feelings of a hunted man. You said you wanted to understand our bond. For that you need to comprehend the true face of Kylo Ren." He fully turned to her and in a determined voice, said, "Who he truly is and what drives him is guarded inside that castle. But I must warn you, Rey, what's in there is not pretty. The Force probably will make it worse since we're bonded, so you must be certain that you want to step forward on this matter."
She was torn. Again, doubt came to her mind. For a man to be where he was right now, Kylo Ren must have gone down some really horrible paths. If Master Luke's expression was anything to go by, these paths probably started way too soon in his life. But she couldn't run away. Not now. There was good in him; the bear standing right in front of her is proof enough of that. She never gave up very easily during her scavenger days and she didn't plan to start now. Besides, her life had turned upside down and everything she believed had been put to the test. Why stop now?
"Yes, I'm certain. I want to go inside." She breathed deeply and looked at the bear. "Can I ask something first? Why did he block you? I can't understand why."
"Because his feelings were getting in the way. The path to the Dark Side has many sacrifices and pains. Compassion and tenderness are but liabilities." He answered mechanically, as if that phrase had been stuck deeply inside him, and he didn't like it.
"Well to me, that sounds like gibberish." He chuckled, calming down almost immediately.
"But let's do it. Time to meet the real man," she said, and started to walk toward the doors. She barely walked two steps before the tall doors slowly opened. She tried to see inside but nothing besides darkness greeted her.
"His true name is not Kylo Ren," the bear said, with a whisper she barely could hear. His eyes were downcast, refusing to meet her confused expression.
"What do you mean?" He looked up slowly, as if fearing her reaction. "Kylo Ren is the name he chose after joining the Knights of Ren. His parents gave him another, one with a deep connection to the past." He breathed and said, with sadness, "His true name is Ben…"
"What do you think you're doing?!"
And whatever the bear was trying to say was interrupted by the angry shout of the Dark Knight himself, standing just on the border of the castle and the bridge, literally making the whole place shake with his voice and the Force.