"Tales of D'Hoffryn…"
Disclaimer: Would Joss want his name associated with this? I think not...But anyway all BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...Though his brother Mort gets nothing...
Archived at the Cicelyverse page of the Buffy Rebecca verse, .com...
Summary: While saddled with the job of tending the discombobulated First Evil, the Lord of all Things Vengeful tells a few tales of his (well, his people's) exploits with some old friends…
"Sunset…"
Part VIII…
"Ah…Here we are…" Buffy hurried up the path to her front door…Pausing to look back where William was cautiously looking about… "You bring Willow."
"Come on, then…" she waved. "We've much to do before dawn, William…"
"Right…" he came up, hesitating. Willow blankly following…
"What?" she looked at him.
"I don't know…I…" he glanced sheepishly at the door…
"I didn't have time to raise a barrier, not that the blonde simpleton here…" she frowned, looking downward… "…would have any idea how to defend herself or hers that way, in spite of years of exposure to occult lore. It's perfectly all right…"
"It's not that…" he paused. "Just…I…"
"Modern Mother seemed to like you very much…If I remember. Are you afraid you'll go all blood-lust? I can restrain you easily, not a difficulty…"
"No, I've fed…We all did, as a precaution on some cows' blood. But…Cics…It is very late…I mean, to be escorting a young woman home…"
"That's your worry? William, the woman if awake is almost certainly soulless. And judging by her daughter's behavior has little sense of social propriety…" with a chuckle, she entered.
"Joyce…Mrs. Summers…Always seemed a very dutiful mother to me…" he insisted, following…
"Ah, home sweet hovel…" Buffy shook her head at the surroundings in the Summers' living room.
At a sudden sound, both she and Will were instantly alert. Upstairs, he mouthed…Indicating the stairway bannister, he whispered to the blank-eyed Willow to take a seat on the couch and wait, quietly…
They moved carefully across the living room, Buffy with glare at Will's attempt to move ahead, taking the lead…Stealthily up the stairs…A light on just down the hall…
"Her room…" Buffy hissed. "She must be…"
"Buffy?" Joyce's voice…Followed shortly by Joyce's appearance in the hall, in robe…Curlers in hairnet…
"Mother…" Buffy, pleasant tone. "Sorry if we disturbed you…"
"Him again?" Joyce eyed William…Who gave a polite smile and nod.
"Yes, Mrs. Summers…I hope we didn't frighten you. Sorry to be so late…We were out and had some car trouble. Not her fault, I hope you understand…"
Buffy eyeing him…Shaking head…
My Victorian…
"I'm just getting a few things organized…" Joyce shrugged. "I thought you were sleeping, Buffy…"
"I…Ummn…" Buffy winced a bit now, in her turn… "Will and I had a few things to discuss…"
"I assure you, Mrs. Summers…" Will began…
"Sneaked out again, eh? With him?" Joyce shook her head. "Well, I hope you used a condom. Anyway, by tomorrow, you're your father's problem…I'm sending you to him…"
"Mother?" shocked look at the "condom"…Turning to puzzlement… "…to Father?"
"I've got a life to lead, Buffy. And you're the one always whining how you want to spend more time with Daddy. Now, you can…I'll put you on the first train to LA…"
"But isn't Father…Dad…" Buffy corrected hastily, concentrating…Yes… "In Spain?"
"He's still got an apartment in LA. You can stay there till he sends you a plane ticket. The police or the landlord'll let you in…Just show them your id. I'm putting the house up for sale tomorrow. Not that I expect to clear much on it…But I'll need every penny for getting a start in New York."
"New York?"
"Where else?" frown… "Sweetie, I'm not gonna waste my talent here in nowheresville for the rest of my life. I've still got contacts there…A guy who'd give me a job like that in his gallery…He was pretty hot for me when I was in grad school and he's still big, though getting up there. I'm sure the old fellow'd still find me…Appealing…If I get myself back in some decent clothes and make-up…" she eyed the staring Buffy.
"You know…" she gave a shrewd appraising glance. "If you wanted to come along, you'd probably clinch the deal for ole Mommy once he got a look at you. He was into threesomes, the guys used to say."
"Mrs. Summers?" Will, blinking…
"…Free trip to NYC? And your dad could send the ticket there when I'm set with the old fart…" Joyce noted.
"Appealing, but…" Buffy shrugged. "Afraid I've made my own plans…William here and I are engaged…"
What…? William, Joyce…Staring…
"Yes, we'll be married as soon as possible. So there's no need for the train ticket, thanks…"
Joyce glanced from smilingly bland Buffy to clueless, staring William…
Engaged…?
"Well, whatever…" she shrugged. "Don't make it too quick, I just hit your dad up for a higher child-support payment for the month. Tole him you had some gyn bills, after hanging out with that other guy…" she yawned. Thumbing through some print-out pages…
"What?" Buffy hissed to the still reeling William… "We're already married, aren't we?" she whispered as Joyce scanned the pages briefly…
"I'll be closing out all the accounts tomorrow." Joyce looked over. "So don't try to charge anything to them. As far as college goes, if your dad can keep a villa and babe in Spain, he can pay your way or you can do a state school or work, right?"
"Certainly, Mother…Mom…" Buffy nodded. Joyce beaming at her…
"There's my girl…If your dad pays for the wedding, make it a big one and invite me. Say, you can hire me as a creative consultant, I'd love to stick one more bill to him. Anyway, I'll send you my new address in NYC, we can get together when I have time and do the city. On your dad's credit card, of course…That way I still can hit him for child support for a while…You play along and I'll cut you in for say, twenty percent? Well, I'm off to bed…Big day tomorrow…"
"Sounds wonderful, Mom…We'll be leaving soon ourselves. Uh, have a grand trip…" Buffy smiled.
"What, no kiss good-night?" Joyce eyed her.
"Sorry…" Buffy came over…Pecking cheek…
"And my new son-in-law? Not too bad, girl…" Joyce grinned at William. Reaching a hand out…
"C'mere and give Mommy a big one…" she pulled at him.
Go on…Buffy urged him with glance. He stumbling a bit…
Joyce grabbing him and fixing lips solidly, with resounding smack…
"Definitely not bad…" she grinned, releasing him as Buffy glared. "Don't suppose you'd like to let your new mum-in-law give you a little more experienced taste of what's in store from her girl? No? Well, another time…Oh, look at my possessive little Buffy, all in a huff…" grin… "All yours, baby…"
"G'night, honey…" she waved to the red-faced, glaring Buffy. "Take anything and I'll have the police on you both so fast your heads'll spin…"
"Come on, William…" Buffy pulled him along as Joyce closed her bedroom door…
"American mothers…" she growled, glancing back at the closed door. "No wonder this little strumpet's already deflowered…"
"Just Ange…That miserable beast…" she eyed Will's look. "He forced himself on me, no doubt…"
"…And no one else…I swear…" she hastily concluded…
"It's fine Cics…None of my business what Buffy did or does…"
She rounded on him, he stumbling into her…"The hell it is! William!"
"What?"
"You're my husband! How can you say that?! And after I kept myself for you back in our time!"
"We did manage a pre-nuptual shag if I…Hey!" he recoiled at her hard slap. Winging into the opposite wall…
"You deserved that!" she raged. "How dare you take it so lightly? I only…" she reddened. "Gave of myself…Because I trusted you completely. We were already married, in spirit…"
"Sorry…"
"It's your duty as my husband to protect this…American idiot…" she frowned at herself, looking down… "From the consequences of her miserably poor upbringing. Especially if we fail to secure my place here permanently. I count on you to keep her in some sort of decent behavior. After all I have a stake in this body…"
"Cics?"
"And don't think relosing your soul gets you off the hook, as it were…" she frowned. "You can still influence Spike to jealousy or protectiveness, hovering about, I'm sure. It might be difficult, true, but I expect much from my husband…" she paused…Nervous tone…
"Of course, there'll be no need as we won't fail. You'll remain souled and I will be with you. Soul or no soul…" she eyed him… "But…"
"I'll do my best, Cics…" he nodded. Pressing her hand gently… "You have my word."
"All I ask…" she nodded back…Long stare…
"One moment, Will…" Buffy crept down the hall, pushed at Joyce's bedroom door which opened…
Ah…
Dear Mommie contentedly snoozing away. She eyed the sleeping Joyce…
Geesh, some mother she is…Her daughter stripped of soul and wandering the town with a "fiancée" she barely knows and she's out like a light?
Still…Probably for the best…She closed the door…
"Will?..." she hissed back to him. "My mother's asleep now…She should be fine for the rest of the night…"
"Good…" he returned…
"Lets go down and we'll see what our next move should be…" she said, lightly…
Hmmn…Yes…Tell him Giles stored some materials of potential value to us in the cellar? Yes, plausible and worthwhile…Sure to work…
"So Mother's settled for now…" she patted him on the shoulder on reaching the ground floor… "Now, if Willow is all right for a moment, lets go down to the basement and rummage through Giles' things stored here."
He was getting overcrowded at the library, she explained… Had to dump a few rather powerful items here…Where no one surely would come looking. "I'm sure we'll find something useful…"
"Right…" Will nodded.
Lets see…Something to secure him with that he won't break free from for a few hours…At least a few minutes…
And then I resolve this little matter anyway necessary…Before that band of self-righteous murderers called the Watchers' Council makes its entrance. Fortunately on top of two sets of Slayer combat skills I'm now fully-equipped with a decent intellect and what I imbibed of my original father's Sir Richard's ruthless negotiating skills…
No one more able to squeeze blood from a Parliamentary or foreign rival stone than Sir Richard Addams…
I mean what's the population of Sunnydale, sixty, seventy thousand? Hardly to be stacked against my record of billions saved. Not to mention my husband's late effort…That many must die each year in traffic automobile incidents in this benighted land…
She pasted a warm smile to William's "well?" look and indicated the basement door… "Right after you, dear…"