Derek rushes down the stairs, cradling Meredith's limp body in his arms. His clothes are soaked through with a mixture of water and blood. She already looks so pale. So bloodless. So close to death. He suppresses the sob that threatens to escape as he rushes out of the front door, struggling momentarily with the doorknob. He doesn't even bother to lock the door as the rain pours down on them, only soaking him even more. The rain droplets trail from his hair, down his forehead and into his eyes. He quickly blinks them away, the fresh rain only adding to the blurriness caused by his tears.

He finally reaches his car after what seems like forever, but has only been a minute since finding her body. He places her body across the backseat of his car, making sure the towel is secure around her still-bleeding arm before jumping into the driver's seat. He peels out of the driveway, not caring about anything other than getting Meredith to the hospital. Now.

The silence in the car is heavy as he strains to hear the sounds of her breathing over the numerous words running through his head.

She saw you. She looked real upset.

I'm trying. I'm trying to be ready.

So, how was your date?

I love you, Derek.

Pick me, choose me, love me.

He grips the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white, and bites down on his bottom lip violently. He can't break down right now. He has to get her to the hospital. He has to save her. There is no other option. She can't die. She can't leave him. If she does, if she does leave him, it's all his fault. He should have waited. He should have known that she was trying. He just walked away. He is just like everyone else in her life.

She, oh God, she was coming to tell him that she was pregnant. She…she must have been excited. She..

The tears pour down his face, unchecked, as his tires screech to a stop right outside the entrance to the emergency room. He throws his vehicle into park, not even bothering to turn off the ignition before jumping out and retrieving her from the backseat. Derek cradles her body close to his as he runs through the doors.

Everyone stops in their tracks as they see the Head of Neurosurgery run through the doors. He is soaking wet and covered in blood. His eyes are bloodshot and he has a panicked look on his face, a look that screams lost. It takes them a moment to turn their attention from the strange appearance of the handsome doctor to the tiny blonde cradled in his arms.

"What the hell is everyone standing around for?" the new Chief Resident shouts as she walks into the ER. She follows their line of sight and stops in her tracks. "Oh my ever lovin'…" she trails off, staring at the broken Derek Shepherd.

It only takes her a moment before she is barking orders, which Derek doesn't hear. He is too intent on listening to the shallow breaths emanating from Meredith. Before he knows it, there is a gurney in front of him, but he is reluctant to let her go. What if this is the last time he ever holds her?

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get it back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

There is a hand on his forearm. It takes a moment for him to register the soft eyes of Bailey staring back at him. He blinks once. Twice. He finally starts to hear her.

"Derek?" she says softly, almost like she knows that he is lost. He is lost because his love is slowly bleeding out in his arms. "You need to put her on the gurney so we can take care of her." She squeezes his arm gently as she finishes.

Derek struggles to swallow the large, dry lump in his throat. It scratches. It burns. It aches. He forcefully closes his eyes, willing the lump to go away, before nodding slowly. He opens his eyes and relinquishes Meredith over to the care of Dr. Bailey. He feels so cold. He feels so alone. He feels so…Meredithless.

Dr. Bailey quickly rolls Meredith into a nearby exam room. The door is open, but the curtain obscures him from seeing her. Obscures him from seeing Dr. Bailey remove the white terry towel from Meredith's arm to reveal the eight inch cut that runs almost the entire length of her lower arm. But he can hear it. He hears the gasp. He hears her mutterings. Even in his practically catatonic state he hears it. He doesn't hear the questions hurled at him from the tall form that now stands next to him, but he hears everything, everything, that goes on in that room.

His knees wobble as he hears the blood ordered. She needs a blood transfusion. He looks down at his hands and sees that they are covered in a sheen of red. Her blood. Her blood is on his hands.

Here's the smell of the blood still: all the
perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little
hand. Oh, oh, oh!

He feels a hand on his back. It is a familiar hand, but it is too heavy. It sends him tumbling head first over the precipice as he crumbles down to his knees, a fall which would have been harder had the body that belongs to those hands not helped slow his downward spiral.

The sobs previously kept at bay escape unrestrained, causing his entire body to convulse as his sorrow becomes dictator of his body. His sorrow reigns over him and leaves no cell unconquered as the tears fall from his eyes down onto his blood-stained hands, his fluids mixing with Meredith's in a way that he never would have wished.

Mark kneels down next to his broken friend, not knowing what to say. He has no idea what is going on. He just walked into the hospital only to find Derek standing there covered in blood. He opens his mouth to speak, but someone beats him to the punch.

"What the hell happened?" the shaken voice of the Chief asks as she stares down at Derek.

Derek can't even lift his head to see the Chief. He can't. The woman who is carrying his child could be dying and it's all his fault. That is when it hits him and he struggles to find his voice.

"She's pregnant," he manages in a strangled and distorted voice in between his desperate gasps for air.

Everyone turns to look at him, not sure if they have heard him correctly.

"What?" Mark mutters in shock.

"She's pregnant…please….save her…I…oh God…my Meredith…our…oh God…our baby.." he manages before uncontrollable sobs stifle the unspoken words. Words that are stored deep in his heart. Deep in his soul.

The Chief rushes into the exam room. Derek hears him tell Bailey. He hears everything, but sees nothing. He sees nothing but the blood her blood, on his hands.

He forces his eyes closed. The future he promised her flashes before her eyes. The birth of their child. Their wedding. Building a house together on their land. Fishing with his son or daughter and Meredith. Meredith. Celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, Christmases together. With Meredith. Dying in her arms at 110. In Meredith's arms. Meredith is his future. He has no future without her. She can't die.

Derek opens his eyes, only to be greeted yet again by his bloody hands. That is when he hears it. He hears the most terrifying sound in the world. The beeping of a monitor. The beeping of a monitor in Meredith's room.

"Her BP's falling!" the Chief shouts.

And suddenly Derek feels everything come to a crashing standstill. His breathing. His heart. His life. His world. His Meredith.

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

So, there is part 3. There is one part left. It will probably be Tuesday night and Wednesday before I can get it written. The one quote in the middle was from Macbeth. Also, thank you so much for all of your reviews. They have been amazing. I really appreciate it. To be honest, if there hadn't been so much, I might not have felt so compelled to write this tonight. I also want to address one of them. Someone mentioned that the letter on the mirror was OOC for Meredith and I just want to explain why I did what I did. Meredith wasn't planning on killing herself, unlike most suicide attempts. It was an impulsive act, but she never told Derek she loved him. Not after the moment in the scrub room. She didn't want to leave him behind without him knowing. As much as 40 of suicides leave notes behind. Initially, I did not plan on having Meredith leave the short note, but she wanted Derek to be able to move on. Notes often are an attempt to provide closure. And to be honest, Meredith's character on the show has changed dramatically this season. She is everywhere it seems. The closest we have seen her in this type of situation is the ferry arc, and that isn't comparable to this situaiton in my opinion.You don't have to agree with me, I just wanted you to understand why I did what I did. Hope you all like it.

-Marci