Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...
"You look good, Nelson," Jay commented, watching her over the rim of his glass.
Emma smiled. "Thanks. I actually feel pretty good too. I can actually get through a few days at a time without the need to cry. I'm coming along with leaps and bounds, Hogart. You?"
Jay sighed, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. "Exhausted actually. Some lady comes in today with her Rolls Royce! The thing is a mess. You name it, the car needs it. And she expects to have the thing back in her possession by next week! Sorry. I got a little carried away there. Jay's fine. Thanks for asking."
Emma giggled. "It's nice to hear someone ramble on about their own problems instead of asking about mine all of the time."
Jay raised an eyebrow. "I was surprised when you called. Is everything okay?"
Jay watched as Emma shifted nervously in her seat. She finally looked at him and he didn't know why, but he was scared by what he saw there.
"Lately, I've been sort of replaying memories of Sean and I, in my head, kind of like a movie or something. I'd thought I'd remembered everything, but then something sort of popped up. And now I can't forget about it. In fact, since I've thought of this, it's all I've been thinking about, for the last two months."
"The whole cryptic thing, lost on me, Nelson. I'm not following where you're going," Jay admitted, leaning back in his chair.
Emma licked her suddenly dry lips. "Before Sean left for duty, I told him that I wanted a baby. We planned on trying to have one as soon as he got back from Iraq. We know how that all played out."
Jay continued to stare at Emma. She wanted a baby? He didn't know this. In fact, he'd bugged Sean about it enough times, but Sean's cool reaction led Jay to think that maybe he wasn't really ready for a family. Jay watched a lone tear slide down Emma's red cheek.
"I'm sorry, Emma," Jay said quietly, leaning forward.
Emma raised her eyes to meet his. "I still want that, Jay. Now more than ever."
"I know it's hard to think about this now, but you will meet someone new. You'll have your baby."
"And what if I don't want to wait?" she asked.
"What choice do you have?" he questioned. "Adoption?"
Emma closed her eyes, swiping a hand across them. When she opened her eyes, Jay was almost shocked to see the intensity of hurt there.
"I went to an adoption agency, but I was rejected," she confessed. "Mostly because I'm on my own. Apparently single mothers aren't good enough to adopt children who have no one else. Strike one."
Jay pursed his lips. "I don't know what to say." He felt awkward that she was bringing this to him. He truly knew of nothing that he could say to make this better for Emma. She had already experienced so much pain and now, with this whole wanting a child thing, she was probably headed for more.
"I thought about getting a donor and having my own baby," she told him.
Jay coughed twice before regaining his composure. "You what?"
Emma smiled. "I thought about getting a sperm donor so that I could have my own baby. But the whole process is pretty costly and I have a great job, but not that great! Strike two."
Jay nodded his head. She needed money. Okay, so this makes sense. "How much do you need?" he asked.
"Ten thousand per session."
Jay's eyes grew large. He shook his head. "I wish I had that kind of money, Emma, but I don't. I'm sorry."
"I didn't ask you to meet me to hit you up for money, Jay," she explained. She took a deep breath. "I want you to help me in another way. I want you to be the donor."
"You what?" Jay laughed, sure that this was all a joke and Emma was just pulling his leg. "Right!"
But Emma's face remained serious. No evidence of a smile in sight. Jay blinked a few times, feeling a little light-headed. He'd do anything for his best friend's widow, but this was pushing it!
"Okay, so I know that I probably just shocked the hell out of you. It's just that you're the only guy I even considered for this. You're probably the best guy friend I have."
"Thanks for the compliment, Nelson, but I can't be somebody's daddy. That's not me," Jay admitted. "I barely take care of myself."
"And I get that. I don't want a dad for my child. As far as I'm concerned, Sean is the only man I will ever love and therefore the only father I ever would have wanted for my child. But life throws you curve balls sometimes. I don't mean to sound crass here, but I only want..."
"My guys," Jay finished, understanding exactly what Emma was asking of him. "So I wouldn't be expected to be there, or support you financially or anything?"
"Not a thing. Just your...sample. What do you think?"
Emma had dreaded coming here, asking this huge favour of Jay, but she realized that picking someone out of a book, no matter how costly, just didn't feel right.
"Tell me where I need to go, hand me a Playboy, and we're in business!" Jay smirked.
Emma's face fell. Now this was the uncomfortable part. "Even with my own...sample, it's still a huge cost."
"So how do we do this?"
"The usual way," Emma whispered.
Jay coughed again, this time taking much longer to compose himself. "You mean we'd have to...?"
"Yes. Probably more than once."
"Are you hitting on me? Is this some twisted way you have of hitting on me?" Jay asked, lowering his voice so the other people in the restaurant couldn't hear him.
Emma laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation. "No. I am not hitting on you. I want to have a baby. I need your sperm, Jay. That's it. This is the only affordable way I can get what I want. I've come to you, as a friend, because I think that you're the best candidate."
"Are you insane? You want a little Hogart running around your house? Are you crazy? Have you completely lost your mind?"
"Are you saying no?" Emma pushed.
Jay sighed, leaning back once again in his chair. He studied Emma. A beautiful woman wanting to have worry-free, no-strings-attached sex with him wasn't the worst thing that could happen, but could he do this, with Sean's wife?
"Can I think about it?" he asked.
"As long as you need to," Emma answered.
Emma gathered her things and stood up, but Jay gently took hold of her wrist. "Sit down, please." Emma sat and Jay sighed again. "Okay," he whispered.
"Excuse me?"
"I said okay. If this is really what you want. I'll do it."
Emma smiled widely, getting up from where she was seated so she could hug Jay fiercely. "Thank you! You are so awesome!"
Jay smirked, hugging her back. "Don't get ahead of yourself, honey. That's usually what most ladies tell me afterwards, Nelson."
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