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Jay gave himself a once over in the mirror of his bathroom. He put a hand through his tousled hair. He held his hand up in front of his face, noticing that it was shaking. What the hell are you so nervous about? It's not like you've never done this before!

But Jay's nerves had a lot more to do with who he would be doing this with, not the action itself. He was supposed to meet Emma tonight, at her apartment. It was to be the first of what would probably be several lurid meetings.

FLASHBACK

"Jay? Um, it's Emma," she said breathlessly.

Jay rubbed his temples with his index fingers. He'd known by his caller ID that it was her and had debated for several seconds on whether or not to pick up. She'd said she'd call when she was 'ready to get things rolling'.

"Emma. Hey," he returned. "What's up?"

"Um, I told you that I'd call, you know, when things were a go," she paused, gathering her courage, knowing that if the initial conversation were this hard, the act itself would be mortifying. "So, um, it's all systems go."

Jay found himself chuckling without meaning to, but the action helped to put him at ease.

END OF FLASHBACK

As Jay drove to Emma's, he continued to tell himself that this was no different than any other time he'd ever done this. Only this time there was a purpose, other than his own satisfaction. This time there were expectations. Expectations that scared the crap out of Jay.

He knocked on her door, praying that Manny had been given the green light to find other accommodations for the evening. Emma opened the door, dressed in a short skirt and tank top. Maybe she's trying to make my job a lot easier. She looks cute as hell in this outfit. But Jay immediately shook those thoughts from his mind, reminding himself that this was all so that Emma could have a baby and nothing else. There was no room for feelings here.

They sat in Emma's bedroom, each refusing to look at the other, perched on the edge of the bed as if the slightest movement would send them both into a burning volcano.

"Are you nervous?" she whispered, finally breaking the awkward silence.

"Nervous as hell," Jay admitted. He finally looked at her. "It's not like I've never done this before. It's just that I've never had to do it for a particular reason. I feel a little pressure, you know?"

Emma nodded her head, swallowing. "Look, just so you know, I have no expectations. I mean, I do, but if things don't, you know, work out... Well I guess I just want you to know that if I don't get pregnant right away, I won't hold it against you."

"You do know that there's a chance that I won't get you pregnant at all, right?" Jay asked. "I've never impregnated someone before. It's something I usually try to prevent actually. All I'm saying is that I'm not even sure I can...get you pregnant."

Emma nodded her head. "Let's just cross that bridge when, if, we come to it, okay?"

"Fine by me," Jay agreed, holding up his hands. "So? You're...um...ready?"

Emma took a deep breath and slipped off the bed. Jay would have laughed if he hadn't been so scared, watching Emma carefully peel the covers off of the bed. He wondered if she'd been this timid with Sean and then chastised himself for even making the comparison. Of course she hadn't! She loved Sean and he loved her. They probably shook the rafters with all that love! This is not helping the situation, Hogart!

But Jay couldn't help think about his best friend. He was probably rolling over in his grave right about now, the thought of Jay and Emma in this way making him sick. Jay was suddenly feeling a little weary himself, as he looked over at Emma's night stand, a picture of her wedding day in a silver frame.

Emma followed Jay's gaze, straight to her wedding photograph. She grabbed the picture, shoving it into her night stand drawer. Jay nodded his head once, acknowledging her action.

Jay slowly got off the bed, approaching Emma, who was still standing, adjusting the covers over and over again. He stopped in front of her, bending over to kiss her rose-coloured lips.

But Emma stopped him before his lips touched hers. "No kissing, okay?"

"Huh?" Jay asked, dumbfounded.

"It's just that kissing tends to be intimate. I don't think we should confuse this from what it really is."

"A meaningless transaction," Jay finished for her. He shook his head and turned away. "I hate to tell you this, Nelson, but guys need a little fuel to get the old fires burning, you know?"

Emma closed her eyes slightly and approached Jay. She brought her face close to his, but instead of kissing his lips, she kissed his neck, allowing her warm tongue to trail a path to his collar bone, where she suckled it gently. Jay closed his eyes, allowing his body to give over to the seduction Emma's lips were playing on his neck.

Emma's breath caught as Jay's arms came around her middle, hauling her off her feet until her body was pressed against his. He planted his lips on her own neck, nuzzling the area that was extra sensitive for Emma. She swallowed down her fear of the unknown, telling herself that she'd rather have her baby conceived this way, than in some laboratory or doctor's office.

Jay laid Emma down on the bed, stopping midway to remove his shirt. Emma saw Jay's upper body for the first time, amazed that she had never realized just how put together he really was. Jay saw Emma take in his body and smirked, glad that she was at least semi-enjoying herself. He reached forward, taking hold of the hem of her top, gently pulling it upwards.

"Does it need to come off?" she asked timidly. Jay gave her a confused look. "I have body issues."

Jay shook his head, removing her top. He let out a large breath. "You have no need for body issues, Nelson. Your body is amazing."

Emma smiled, laying back against her pillows, preparing herself both mentally and physically for what was about to occur. In a few minutes, she'd be having sex with someone other than Sean. He'd been her only partner, ever. How would this experience compare to her others?

But as Jay laid his body upon Emma's, neither was thinking about comparisons or about Sean. Jay tried to plant his lips on Emma's several times, each time she moved her head, refusing the action. So he settled for laying his lips elsewhere on Emma's tantalizing body. Places like her neck, collar bone, the swell of her breasts, and her taut, flat stomach. Emma found herself becoming more and more turned on by each inch that Jay's lips covered on her waiting body. Jay could barely keep it together, his body screaming for full on rewards, while his mind told him he had to earn it first.

And when Jay finally made the move to strip Emma of the small piece of silk holding up the progression of this experience, he found Emma a willing participant, lifting her hips, making Jay's task easier.

Emma tried to calm her nerves, wondering what this would be like, willing herself not to think of Sean, or of any of their times together. Would it hurt, given the number of months she'd been celibate? Would Jay be rough or slow and gentle? She wanted her child conceived out of love, but that wasn't what she felt for Jay. Could two people who didn't love each other make love? Emma pursed her lips together tightly, as she felt Jay press his body into hers.

Jay immediately stilled himself inside of her, looking down into her tense face. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Emma had told herself even before this began that Jay would never hold a candle to Sean, so her expectations for this experience were low. But she couldn't help the comparison when she felt Jay inside of her. He filled her completely, a feeling of warmth spreading throughout her body. Emma blushed instantly, realizing that she was mentally comparing Jay's size to Sean's.

"Emma?" Jay asked, noticing the colour appearing on her cheeks. "We can stop if you want to."

Jay hadn't begun to move, his body staying as still as possible. But the truth was that he really didn't want to stop. This just felt too good, too right, to be halted early.

Emma finally found her voice, her breath shaky as she admitted, "I'm fine. We don't have to stop. Unless you want to?"

Jay smirked, licking his lips. "I like to leave my customers satisfied, Nelson."

Emma looked up at him, her tight mouth finally forming a smile. "Emma."

"Huh?"

"Call me Emma."

"Emma," he whispered, moving slowly on top of her.

When it ended, a half hour later, Jay rolled off of Emma, onto his back, panting heavily. He stared up at Emma's ceiling, absorbed in his own post-coital pleasure. It wasn't until he heard Emma's soft sobs, that he realized something was wrong.

He turned to her, asking, "What's wrong?"

Emma laid there, refusing to move, crying quietly, tears trailing down her cheeks and onto her pillow.

Jay propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over Emma, who was covered with nothing but a sheet. Jay knew that something was upsetting her, but thought she still looked beautiful, despite her red nose and eyes.

He touched her arm lightly. "Emma? You okay?"

She looked over at him, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Please don't think I'm crazy or anything. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it. I did. I think I probably enjoyed it more than I expected to."

"And that's a bad thing?" Jay asked, still stroking her arm.

"Not a bad thing. Just different. I've never been with anyone other than Sean. And I guess there was a really big part of me that expected this to just be a mechanical thing. I wasn't expecting...that," she confessed.

Jay's face fell. "I'm sorry."

Emma smiled at him, grabbing his hand that had been rubbing her arm tenderly. She held it between her soft hands, kissing it gently. "You are so much better than I've ever given you credit for. Thank you for doing this and thank you for not making it something awkward or tawdry."

Jay smiled, kissing Emma's temple. He stretched. "I guess I should get going."

Emma grabbed his arm. "Can you stay?"

Jay eyed her carefully. The vulnerability in her eyes made him nervous. Was he biting off more than he could chew?

Emma sensed his indecision. "Just until I fall asleep?"

Jay smiled, gathering Emma into his arms and squeezing her tightly. "I'm here, Nelson...Emma."

I hope this scene isn't too awkward. Please read and review!