This update is a bit different...so just hang with me...and I will explain at the end...
A gentle breeze courses through her hair and along her scalp, bathing it as if a gentle balm. Her hair whips around her as she stretches out her arms, almost believing that the wind will pick her up and carry her away. Her eyes are closed as she spins slowly around in circles, carefree and full of life, not yet tainted or marred by the reality of the real world.
She inhales deeply, drinking in the air that is rich with a plethora of floral scents. The smell of fresh cut grass, poppies, daisies, lavender and much more enter into her nasal cavity, each scent in itself representing a happy memory. She finally opens her eyes and is forced to blink several times to adjust to the bright sun that is shining high in the sky.
She glances at her surroundings. She is standing in the middle of a field of flowers. All growing naturally and wildly. All contributing to her sense of peace. There is no one else around her. She is all alone. She glances down at her own attire. She is wearing a blue and white checkered dress with a white short sleeved shirt underneath. Her shoes are a pair of ruby slippers.
She runs her fingers slowly over her face, somewhat in disbelief that this is really her. Her tactile motions only confirm that it is indeed her own body. It is only then that she notices her hair is no longer blowing freely in the wind, but is confined in two separate pony tails—one on each side of her head. Pigtails. She is wearing pigtails.
A bark echoes through the vast empty field and she turns to find a dog running towards her. His bark grows closer as the distance between them lessens. She gasps as she kneels down, awaiting for the dog to leap into her arms.
"Doc!" she exclaims as the dog jumps eagerly into his arm. "You're such a good boy! Yes, you are!" she says in a baby voice as the dog licks her face a couple of times.
The wind blows a bit harder, causing one of her pigtails to whip around and slap her in the face, stinging. She stands up, Doc in her arms, and glances around. She sees three forms walking towards her, dark clouds forming behind them.
She feels apprehension brew deep within her bowels as the group nears her. They look familiar, yet seem so different. The first one to approach her is an Asian female, but she isn't entirely human. Whiskers sprout from the sides of her nose and a long, curling tail trails behind her, whipping ferociously this way and that. Cowardly lion she is not. Fierce, blood hungry predator is her characterization.
Next to and a few steps behind her is a male with a deep furrowed brow and elevated neck. His skin is the color of dull silver, as if tarnished, and atop his head sits a tin funnel, cocked slightly to the side to accommodate his arrogant attitude. His stride is long and his legs are bowed. The smirk that causes the right corner of his lip to turn slightly upward seems planted on his face. In his right hand he carries a huge scalpel, which he employs while cutting out the hearts of young, naïve women in an attempt to make up for the lack of his own.
Next to him, batting her eyelashes continuously, is a tall blond. She is wearing a pair of overalls, but with nothing underneath. The sides and tops of her breasts protrude from the jean material and bounce with every step she takes. Her hips move side to side as a snake slithering through the sand as she makes the approach with the others. She smacks her gum loudly, occasionally blowing bubbles. Her heavy make-up and fluffed up hair make her appear as if she is a Barbie, manufactured for your viewing pleasure. She was made to draw men in, not to scare them away.
A bolt of lightening dances through the sky, closely followed by a loud clap of thunder as the trio stands before her. Her eyes travel among them, unsure of what to say. The Asian steps forward.
"You are nothing like your mother. She was a surgery god and you are nothing. You will never be like her," she roars as the little girl trembles before her.
Next up is the tin man, stealer of hearts and breaker of spirits. "I'd fuck you. You're fuckable. Want to fuck?" he leans in and whispers suggestively into her ear, the tears now running down her now teenager face.
He crosses his arms and runs the scalpel along his jutting chin, appraising her like a piece of meat, transforming her into something less than human.
The blonde steps forward a moment later, blowing a bubble and reaching up with her long, acrylic nail to pop it before she begins to speak. "No one will ever want you or love you. Why would they when they could have this?" she asks as she moves her hands along her body, stopping briefly to cup her silicone breasts. "He will never love you. You are too dark and twisty for him. He needs bright and shiny. He needs her," she says as she leans into the victim's adult face.
She closes her eyes, their words seeping into her bloodstream and engraving themselves on the dura of her brain. The turbulent wind raves around her. Leaves blow into her face. Finally, she opens her eyes to once more face her attackers. She gasps. They are gone! They have vanished into thin air and no trace of them remains. She is left alone with Doc.
She glances down to find the dog sitting obediently at her feet. At least he is with her. At lease she isn't alone. A black piece of material catches her eye and that is when she notices that she is no longer dressed in the checkered dress and ruby slippers. She is wearing a long black dress with a v-neck and black high-heels.
Her hair whips around her, no longer restrained by the tight rubber bands the previously held it in place. She lifts her head and is surprised as the scenery that surrounds her is dramatically changed. Dark cumulonimbus clouds hover above the land, an occasional lightening bolt fragmenting the sky and illuminating the fading world below.
She scans the landscape. Once so lively and fresh, now dark and ominous. The multitude of flowers that once painted the surrounding meadow with various colors are now all dead. The flowers hang limply from their stalks and have taken on a color between black and brown. The once plentiful green grass has dried out and turned an ugly shade of brown, some patches completely lacking all together.
A loud clap of thunder causes her to jump slightly from the unexpected auditory shock on her system. Doc whines and moves closer to her. She can't comfort him. She can't comfort herself.
Her eyes widen as the land upon a forest not far away. A forest that was not there before. A forest that looms before her. She turns around, searching for the open space that the field previously provided, but it horrified to find that the forest surrounds her, closing in on her. Suffocating her.
The darkness only deepens as she looks into the forest, foreboding only terrible things. The trees are all dead, their limbs gnarled and twisted as if undergoing a torture inflicted by nature. Mother nature. Mother nature torturing her own. She can relate.
Without taking a step forward, she finds herself immersed in the midst of the forest. The tall, dark, deformed trees taunting her as they leer down at her. Her eyes are strangely adjusted to the immense darkness and she is able to see the various lurking critters gathering around her, waiting for the opportune moment to attack.
Doc whines at her feet and she bends down to pick him up. The wind begins to howl violently around her. Dead, dry leaves pummel her in the face as she hears a low, guttural growl from somewhere behind her. Her feet are finally freed from the cement that has been holding her in place and she begins to run. She runs and she runs, but she doesn't move. The forest seems to run along with her, allowing her no escape.
The ground quakes beneath her, catapulting her forward and causing her to fall to her knees, Doc landing in front of her. The leaves seem to sprout wings of their own as they swirl around her and Doc, enveloping her in a funnel cloud of death and dust.
A loud shrill cackle fills the air as more leaves are added to those surrounding her. Swirling. Whirling. Confusing. Swish. Woosh. Silence. The leaves stop in their tracks and fall to the ground. An eerie silence reigns in the forest.
She slowly clambers to her feet, brushing off the dust and leaves that have collected on the material of her dress. Her hands tremble as she brushes her tangled hair out of her face. Her heart pounds against the wall of her chest, each beat sending a wave of pain throughout her body.
Suddenly, the temperature drops. Each exhalation produces a white puff and each inhalation pains her lungs. Her throat aches as the cold air instantly depletes her respiratory tract of any moisture. Goosebumps erupt all over her body as she runs her hands up and down her arms in a vain attempt to warm herself. Frost and ice begins to cover the branches that hang before her, starting at the tips and working towards the trunk.
A cracking noises penetrate the dead silence of the forest as branches before and behind her begin to break from the added burden of the ice. They fall simultaneously with a collective crash, effectively closing her in even further.
All of the commotion distracts her from the appearance of a new figure. She turns and gasps at the site in front of her. A woman now stands before her. She is clad in an all black skirt suit and Prada heels. Her fiery red hair hangs lose and perfect about her shoulders. An open black umbrella is clutched in her claws.
She slowly begins to approach, her heels clacking with each step. Click. Clack. Click. Clack. A smirk is on her face and her large wedding ring glistens even in the complete darkness. Her make up is perfect. Everything about her is perfect.
As this individual reaches her, she reaches down and grabs Doc violently by the skin on his neck. He yelps in protest and pain. The woman tilts her head back and cackles again, the noise chilling the forest even more.
"Did you really think he would choose you?" she asks before cackling again. Her eyes narrow as a knowing smile curls her red lips upward. "I have it all…and I can take everything you have…everything you love away from you…in just one motion," she states in a snobby voice.
The umbrella that previously occupied her right hand is gone, and now she digs her nails into the flesh of Doc. She stares directly into the terrified eyes of her real victim before twisting the innocent dog's neck. A different cracking noise resonates throughout the forest as his neck breaks with a sickening sound.
The bitch throws the dead dog to the ground as a pleased, an evil smile mars her features. "Now you have nothing," she says before swirling her long, black Versace cape around and disappearing into the thin air.
Now she is really all alone. She glances down at the forest floor at the dead body of Doc, but it is already decaying. Maggots eat his dead flesh as beetles also partake in the feast. Dead. Decaying. Disappearing right before her eyes. She blinks. She blinks and the bones are picked clean. The skeleton of what once was is all that remains. In a matter of seconds a life was completely destroyed.
Her eyes remain fixed on the stark white bones that stand out against the dark forest floor until she hears rustling sounds from all around her. Before she can even look up she finds herself surrounded on all sides by monstrous animals that look like deformed monkeys. They dance around her in circles, making noises that are somewhere between a growl and a grunt.
All of the sudden they stop and one of them steps forward. He reaches out and pokes her violently with his finger, as if he wants her undivided attention. "You are the reason your father left. He didn't love you. He never has and he never will. Everyone you ever love will leave you," the creature says before grunting again and returning to the circle.
Tears are running down her face as they resume their paganistic dance around her. It is only a moment before the ritualistic dancing comes to a halt and another one steps forward. This one shoves her violently in the shoulder, causing her to stumble a few steps backward. "You are the source of your mother's unhappiness. If it hadn't been for you, she would not have been miserable. You infect those around you and make them miserable," he spats in disgust before returning to his place.
Their previous motions are repeated once again and the third creature steps forward. He looks at her with disgust furthering disfiguring his hideous features. "You are ignorant and are never going to amount to anything. You have only gotten to where you are because of your mother. You will fail. You will fail because you are nothing," he finishes with a toss of the head while turning back to his companions.
Once again they dance, but this dance is more frenzied, more urgent. They come to a sudden halt and the final creature steps forward. He stares at her for a moment and she gasps in vague recognition. This one has dark, curly hair and blue eyes that she would know anyone. His eyes, his eyes are so sad. His shoulders are hunched and there is a gaping hole in his chest where his heart should be. "You have destroyed me," he says in a weak, shattered voice. "I was once happy. I was once alive, but now, now I am not even human. You have destroyed me just like you destroyed everything else that surrounds you," he finishes as he turns around.
Her knees buckle under the immense emotional burden that has been placed on her shoulders. She falls limply to the ground, as if a rag doll, as she begins to convulse with sobs. She shouldn't be allowed to live. She is like an infectious disease, tainting all of those around her. Nobody. Nothing. She wants to curl up into herself and die. She deserves to die.
She feels the world shift around her and slowly opens her eyes, terrified at what she will find. She lifts her head off of the ground to take in her surrounds. She is no longer outside. Dark, stone walls surround her on all sides. Flames from various torches dances across their surface as they provide light to the occupants. Occupants. Occupants that she knows are there because of the annoying giggle that fills the room.
She slowly lifts herself up off of the cold stone floor and turns towards the sound. Her eyes widen as she sees a women sitting leaning against one side of the doorframe and the last creature from before against the other. They are laughing and flirting with each other.
But the creature is different. He is smiling. He is smiling and human. He turns towards her and she can see the one thing that has not changed—the gaping hole in his chest cavity. His eyes narrow as he stares at her, his bright blue irises darkening with the hate he conveys through them.
The woman is wearing a pair of green hospital scrubs, which are the same color as her green skin. Her black hair is stringy and falls partially down her back. Her teeth are large as she smiles victoriously while placing a hand on the man's arm.
Something within her blood boils as she watches the scene before her. She feels a sense of ownership over the man and this woman, this thing, is touching him. She grabs a pail of water that is nearby, hoping to make the woman go away. The woman screams in pain as the water falls on her. Her flesh begins to melt, a mixture of blood and fat escaping through the holes created by the liquid.
She looks at the man, entreating him with her eyes. He glares at her before turning and beginning to walk away. "Derek!!" she yells at him in a pleading voice.
He continues to walk away. Her feet begin to move as she runs after him. She has to catch him. She has to make it right. He is her only hope. He is all she has left. Even if she has broken him, she can still fix him. She has to.
"Derek!!" she screams at him again as she falls in a puddle of mud. The mud splatters all over her dress and face as she lands. Her breathing is labored as she looks towards him. He is moving further and further away from her.
She struggles to her feet as she continues to run towards him. "Derek!! Please!" she cries out.
Suddenly, he stops in his tracks. He doesn't turn around, but stares straight ahead. He waits for her. He waits for her to reach him as she moves closer and closer. She stops when she is right behind him. He slowly turns on his heel to stare at her. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are spitting a blue fire.
"You bitch!" he says through clinched teeth. "You just can't let me try to be happy, can you?!"
She cries as she looks down at her hands, surprised to see her own heart beating rapidly cradled in her palms. It is hot and sticky from her blood. She glances from the heart to Derek, knowing what she has to do. Knowing what she wants to do. She extends her hands towards him, offering him her heart, her life.
He looks from the heart to her, an unreadable look on his face. He leans forward, his hot breath hitting her face. "It's over. It's so over," he spits at her with poisonous venom lacing his voice.
In one swift motion he knocks the heart out of her hands. He looks deep into her eyes as he stomps repeatedly on her heart, each forceful exertion killing her a little more as the blood spurts is all directions.
"I hate you, Meredith Grey!" he yells in her face. "I hope you rot in hell!" He punctuates his words with a final stomp on her heart before turning around and walking away.
Meredith feels her world shattering around her as her surroundings shift and everything, including herself, fade into black.
This was Meredith's dream as she is under. Everythign is significant in this update and I could go on and on about it...and I will...on my blog. I will post a detailed explanation sometime this weekend and post the URL to it when I am done. I hope you guys liked this update...because I actually LOVE it...I think it is by far mmy favorite thing I have written...let me know waht you think...and I wasn't planning on updating this...but the muse invaded me and wouldn't leave me alone and I just had to write this...
Thank you all for your great reviews...they really make my day.
-Marci