There are now 150 pictures in the 200 stories gallery on the DeGrassi Saviors website. I have also added buttons so you can jump to various parts of the gallery, that way you don't have to scroll all the way through.

Ch. 5 I'm Worn & Wounded

(CLARE)

"Mom is it okay if I sleep at Alli's tonight?" I ask her when we return from dessert out with Glen and Jake.

"If it's alright with her parents I suppose so," Mom replies.

I go upstairs and call Alli, her parents say it's fine and Sav even offers to come pick me up. I pack a bag and grab my backpack and am ready by the time Alli and Sav arrive.

"So what's wrong? You sounded pretty upset on the phone," Alli says when we're driving back to her house.

"Well Jake and I found out that our parents are dating so we decided to stop making out. Then just after that I found my parent's divorce papers and learned that my father had been having an affair. So it's been kind of a rough evening," I tell them.

"Sorry Clare that really sucks," Sav says sympathetically.

"Don't worry we'll have a total girl's night. We'll watch The Notebook, give each other mani-peid's and facials so we're all pampered when we go to bed," Alli says.

"Thanks Alli," I grin.

When we get to her house I thank Sav for coming to get me and her parents for letting me stay the night. Then we go up to Alli's room, she puts on the movie and gets out the nail polish. As she paints my nails I tell her that I need a new date to movie night and she says she'll find me one. After the movie we go to bed but I'm not asleep long before I wake from a nightmare. I don't want to bother Alli so I grab my phone and go down to the living room, it's a little after two in the morning and I have no text from Drew yet. I consider calling him but if he is actually sleeping I don't want to disturb him. Still, I can't get back to sleep so I sit on the sofa playing on my phone.

"Clare?" Sav's sleepy voice startles me a little. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah just had a bad dream, normally I talk to Drew about the nightmares but I haven't heard from him yet and I don't want to wake him if he's actually sleeping."

"Well I'm awake you can talk to me," Sav offers as he sits with me on the sofa.

"It was more odd than scary, I think my mind was just trying to make sense of all that's happened in the last eleven days. The dream started with Drew getting beat up like it normally does but I was watching from far away. Then I was kissing Jake while my dad was kissing some other woman and laughing at my mom so she started kissing Glen. Then Eli pulled me away from Jake and he was yelling and getting angry at Drew."

"It has been a crazy few days for you, but Drew's okay right? I mean his bruises are healing. And you just found out about your mom and Glen and your dad cheating. As for Eli if he tries to hurt you then come to me and I'll take care of it," Sav says and I giggle.

"You sound like a big brother."

"I am a big brother, and you're Alli's best friend I look out for you too," he grins tousling my hair.

"Thanks Sav," I smile kissing his cheek and then feel my phone vibrate and see a text from Drew. "That's Drew, you can go back to bed, I'll get back to sleep after talking to Drew," I tell Sav.

He grins and goes into the kitchen to get some water, which I'm sure was the reason he came down in the first place. I text with Drew for about fifteen minutes about our dreams before we say goodnight. I return to the guest bed in Alli's room, I try to get back to sleep but my mind is so filled by thoughts it's very difficult to get back to sleep. When Alli's alarm goes off I still feel exhausted, but I get up and get ready for school with Alli, I eat some breakfast although I mostly feel tired and not hungry. Sav drives us to school and when we get in Alli says she's going to find Dave. I begin walking to my locker but then I see Drew and walk over to ask if he slept alright after we talked last night.

"Hey Drew did y…" I stop when I see his knuckles scraped and a few bandaged, "what happened? Drew what did you do?" I take his hands in mine and a terrible thought occurs to me. "Drew you didn't see Vince again you?" I question and feel the blood draining from my face at the thought.

"No, nothing like that. I think I see him everywhere but this is from punching the wall in the basement repeatedly," Drew admits taking his hands away.

"Why would you do that?" I ask and Drew just shrugs.

"So are you going to movie night with Jake?" Drew inquires ignoring my question.

"I was until last night when we found out our parents were dating. I told him we should stop kissing and stuff because if our parents keep dating we could end up stepsiblings."

"Yeah that would be pretty awkward," Drew replies with a light chuckle and a lopsided grin.

"Very but Alli promised to find me a new date, are you going?"

"Promised Adam I'd find a date and go if he did so I'll wait and see if he gets a date first."

"You going to stay all day today? Maybe you weren't ready to come back to school," I comment.

"I'm afraid at school and I'm afraid at home, it doesn't seem to matter," he shrugs again but I see the fear in his eyes.

"Clare there you are, hey Drew," Alli remarks barely looking at him and pulling Liam Berish behind her. "Clare this is Liam he's your date for movie night," Alli tells me.

"I know Liam we had classes together last semester. So I guess we should work out the details?" I question.

"Uh yeah," Liam nods.

"I'll talk to you later Clare," Drew remarks. I wave to him as he turns away and Liam walks with me to my locker to work out the details of our date to movie night.

(DREW)

"So I'm going with Chantay, Dave arranged it which means I have a date so now you need to find one," Adam says approaching me at lunch.

"You sure you want to go with Chantay?" I question as they seem to have nothing in common and I'm pretty sure her personality will drive Adam nuts.

"One date to a school event it's not like…whoa deja vu," Adam comments shaking his head a little. "Anyway I have a date now you need to find one and come, that was the deal," Adam reminds me.

"Yeah I know. I'll find a date," I sigh.

I see Bianca walking out to eat her lunch and for just a moment I consider asking her but quickly chase that idea from my mind. I don't feel particularly hungry but decide that I should eat. I go to the caf and eat with the basketball team.

"Adam said you were going to movie night," K.C. comments.

"Yeah but only because I promised Adam I'd find a date and go if he did, and he did," I reply grumbling a little and looking at Dave.

"What you need to get out and Chantay said she would go with him," Dave shrugs.

"I start work that night but Mom's still giving Jenna the night off, I doubt she wants to go to movie night though. Marisol has the night off you can go with her," K.C. suggests.

"I went on a date with Marisol it was boring," I reply.

"But you just need a date right? Anyway, you'll be watching a movie in a room full of other kids," K.C. points out.

"Alright I'll ask Marisol after we eat," I reply.

We finish eating and I sort of wander around looking for Marisol but I'm not really trying very hard. I get to the front and go down the steps to see if Marisol ate outside, I don't see her but I do see a couple guys lurking just off campus and it looks like Vince and one of his goons. My heart starts pounding and I freeze in place, I envision them raising a gun and shooting me. Never mind that I can't see them clearly and they're probably too far to be able to accurately shoot even if it is them, it's all I can see. When I feel a hand on my arm my instinct is to fight and I whirl around quickly ready to hit the person. Only when I spin around I see that it's Clare and I've knocked her off her feet, she hits the pavement and I feel terrible, my stomach somersaulting with shame.

"Clare I'm s…" I begin but get cut off as her bat-shit crazy ex comes flying at me.

"What the hell is wrong with you," Eli growls while gets up.

"Eli I'm okay it was an accident," she assures him grabbing his arm.

"I'm sorry Clare I just thought I saw…never mind, I have to go find Marisol. I'm sorry," I apologize again before I take off running.

"DREW," Clare calls after me.

"Don't go after him," I hear Eli say as I get back inside. I run to my locker nearly bumping into Jake, Katie and Marisol.

"You alright Drew?" Jake asks.

"Yeah fine just looking for Marisol actually," I reply and she perks up right away.

"Really? You were looking for me?" She asks.

"Yeah I uh," I begin rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly and shifting a little, "kind of promised Adam I'd go to movie night if he could get a date, and he did. Then K.C. told me you were off so I thought i…"

"I'd love to," Marisol says before I even finish asking her.

"Ok cool then we'll meet here before the movie I guess?"

"Great I'll get ready at Katie's," Marisol grins.

"Cool, I should get my books for class, see you guys," I wave. I go to my locker and grab my books and go to my 3rd period class, I don't even care that I'm ten minutes early. I'm spacing out and wondering if I really did see Vince when Owen comes into class.

"So you're going to movie night with Marisol?" He asks just as Bianca walks in and gives me a look.

"It was Adam's idea, well not that I take Marisol but that I go with a date. I said I would if he did and he got a date so I had to find one. Are you going?"

"Yeah I might show up and check out the movie, it's a bye week. Any word about when you might be back on the courts?" Owen asks.

"Got a follow up next week with the doctor and hopefully he'll give me the go-ahead," I reply. More kids come into class so we stop talking. Miss Oh begins showing us a slide show but I'm not really paying attention, and then I think I see Vince outside the window but when I turn my head no one is there. For the rest of class though I feel like I'm being watched.

When class lets out I walk with Owen to our fourth period business class. Bianca has the class too but she goes in the opposite direction, probably the washroom. When we get to class Jake is already here with Katie and he waves to me. Not only do I continue feeling like someone is watching me but I keep thinking I see Vince or one of his cronies from the corner of my eye and when I turn my head no one is there. I know I'm scared and it's making me paranoid, all I want to do is run and keep running. When the bell rings for the end of the day I get out my phone and text Mom to make sure she's picking me up.

"I thought for sure you'd be going with Clare Friday now that she and I aren't going," Jake remarks as we leave class.

"Nah she doesn't want to go with me, I remind her of a terrible day and we comfort each other after terrible nightmares of the terrible day," I reply and Owen gives me a look. Truth is when she told me she needed a date I almost did ask her, but I'm sure she doesn't want to be in the dark with me, it would probably just remind her of whatever nightmare she has the night before. "Anyway she's got a date," I shrug.

"Yeah well I should go find her so we can go back to her house. You need a ride home?" Jake asks.

"No my mom's on her way, see you guys tomorrow," I reply. I walk to the front doors but don't go outside until Mom pulls up. The whole way home I swear Vince is following us. "Mom I can't be here anymore," I tell her when we walk into the house, "I want to move. I can't live in fear like this all the time."

"Drew I know you're scared but we have a restraining order against Vince a…"

"How is a piece of paper going to protect me if he pulls a gun or his gang attacks me again? I can't live here anymore, I don't want to be scared anymore. I can't stay here always worried that Vince or one of his guys is going to kill me," I growl and run up to my room. Mom calls after me but she doesn't follow me. I slam the door and flop onto my bed punching the pillow. I should be doing homework but I can't, all I can think about is Vince and his gang coming after me. I even close my curtains because I'm afraid that he's watching me somehow.

"Drew," Mom calls knocking on my door, "dinner's ready."

I'm not really hungry but I get up anyway and go downstairs. Everyone else is already at the table and I sit down. I look at my plate and start pushing the peas around.

"Andrew your mother and I talked, we understand you're afraid and even if we do move y…"

"Move?!" Adam exclaims cutting Dad off.

"Your brother is having trouble Adam, he's always afraid and looking over his shoulder," Mom says.

"So we're just moving?" Adam asks angrily.

"I have a job offer in Denver," Dad tells us. Denver is far which means it's far from Vince and that sounds fantastic to me.

"This is fucking Ludacris! I'm finally in a good place with friends and people who accept me for me. Everyone knows about me and they either leave me alone or they like me and we're moving because Drew is scared!" Adam snarls pushing his plate away violently as he gets up from his seat and begins storming toward the door.

"Adam where are you going?" Mom questions both shocked and angry.

"OUT!" Adam yells back going out the front door and slamming it behind him. Mom starts to get up to go after him but Dad puts his hand on her arm and shakes his head so she sits down again.

"Let him cool off," Dad tells her before looking at me. "You need to think about this Drew, if I accept we'll be moving in 30 days. You'd be finishing your school year in Denver."

"Yeah in Denver and far away from Vince," I grin.

I eat happily but Adam doesn't return and when I'm in the basement doing homework after dinner I start thinking about everything Adam said. The more I think about it the guiltier I feel. Adam is right it's always been easy for me to fit in, make friends, get girls. Gracie never fit in, she never fit in because she was really Adam and she was never comfortable. I saw how Adam struggled, even with his easy going nature making friends and keeping them, letting people in was never easy for him. When I found Gracie burning himself I was worried and that's when Adam told us he was Adam and he couldn't do another school year as Gracie so we moved from Scarborough and transferred to DeGrassi. And despite the problems when Adam was first outed as FTM he's got more friends now than he ever has, he's got his radio show with Dave, two best friends, he's even been on a few dates. If we move he has to start all over again, he'll probably be outed again and it could be worse, and what if I'm too scared to protect him? While I'm thinking about all of this and the depths of my stomach are turning black with guilt the sliding glass door opens. I look over to see that Adam has finally come home and he's got Clare with him.

"You can't move," Clare says.

"I'm going to eat," Adam comments running up the stairs without looking at me.

"Drew you can't move. I know you're scared and I know it sucks to be scared but moving away won't necessarily make the fear go away. You can run from Vince but you can't run from the fear. And you wouldn't just be running from Vince you'd be running from everything else here, everyone else here. You'd be gone and I'd be left here without you and without Adam," Clare pleads with me.

She's right I wasn't thinking about her either, what if we move and Vince goes after her because he can't get to me? What if she keeps having the nightmares but can't come over and be with me when she dreams I'm dead? Not to mention if we're in Denver I won't be able to hold her after a nightmare, have her fall asleep near me, I'd just be lying awake afraid.

"Clare I didn't…I wasn't…it's just I think I see him everywhere, Vince or one of his gang I think I see them everywhere," I sigh.

"I get it, I've thought the same, walked the street looking over my shoulder because I think they're following me it's not a good feeling," she says sitting down next to me on the sofa. "Moving to another city might not fix that, it's not that they are watching because we don't know that, it's because we're scared. You could just as easily move to Denver and still think they're following you, think that you're seeing them. You won't always be afraid Drew but if you run from it you'll be scared for a lot longer than if you stay and face it," she advises and I know she's right. I open my mouth to say something but Jake knocks on the door and Clare looks back. "I have to go, dinner with our parents, again. But after Adam told me you were thinking of moving I had to come and talk to you. Please don't move Drew, I don't know what I'd do without Adam or you."

She gets up and goes to the door, Jake waves and I wave back then they leave. I sink back into the sofa and close my eyes. All I wanted to do was get away from Vince but I wasn't really thinking about how it affected anyone else. I still want to run, I just want to be as far from Vince as I can get, but now I'm torn and wondering if running will really help or make it worse. I suddenly feel quite dirty and I shower then go to bed early. It takes me hours to fall asleep and when I do I have a terrorizing nightmare, I wake up screaming, sweating and shaking. I reach for my phone and then call Clare out of instinct. If we move to Denver I couldn't even call her still we'd be hours behind her, and at least being able to hear her voice or text with her after these dreams is immensely comforting.

"How bad was it?" Clare asks with a slight yawn.

"I think the worst yet. Did I wake you?"

"Yes but from a nightmare of my own so it's good. What was yours about?"

"I was getting beat up and nearly killed and then…" I stop talking afraid to tell her that in the dream I ran from the beating, as far as I could get. In the dream my family ran and Clare was left behind. Vince beat her in my place and let his guys rape her, then Eli got to her and Vince followed us, found me and killed me anyway. "Then we ran but it didn't help. What was your dream about?"

"The usual; Vince beating you, my parent's divorce and my dad's affair, Eli."

"Yeah he did get pretty pissed this afternoon. I'm sorry for that," I apologize sheepishly.

"It was an accident Drew and I'm fine. Eli yelled a little but I walked away, he tried to follow me but Alli stopped him. I wasn't even hurt and I know you didn't mean to, I know it was an accident you don't have to apologize. So you're still coming to movie night aren't you? Before you move to the other side of another country?"

"Yeah I'm still going, and we're not moving. You were right if I run it's not going to fix things, even if I run to the other side of the planet I'll probably still be afraid and paranoid and everyone else will be miserable too."

"You're not moving? I'm really glad to hear that. The fear will pass Drew, for both of us," she tells me in a sweet and comforting voice that makes me smile.

"Yeah I know I just wish it would pass faster, if he would get arrested again it might help. I actually felt sort of safe when I knew he was locked up. With him out I keep feeling like he's coming after me, like he's everywhere."

"You know if you're scared, or you think you see him or any of his gang you can always talk to me."

"Yeah," I grin, "I know thanks Clare. I think I can get back to sleep now how about you?"

"Yeah I'm feeling much better. Goodnight Drew."

We hang up and I fall back to sleep, if I dream this time I don't remember it. I wake up before my alarm, Dad is already gone to work but Mom is up drinking coffee and I sit at the table with her.

"Tell Dad not to take the job, I don't want to move. I'm still scared but Adam was right he has a place here, people like him and accept him for who he is, if we move he'll have to start over. And Clare was right I'd be taking Adam from her, I'd be leaving her and I can run from the place but not the fear," I tell Mom and she gives me a smile full of pride.

"That's a very mature decision Drew and I'm proud of you. Clare's been a very good influence on both you boys."

"Yeah she has," I grin.

Adam is elated when I tell him we're not moving. When I see Clare at school, she hugs me and says again that she's glad we're not moving. No one else heard that we were even thinking of moving so no one else says anything about it. I still feel like Vince is watching me all day but whenever I feel scared I think about Clare and I calm down. She's become a teddy bear in a way, I had one when I was like five or six that my grandma gave me. A little blue bear with a white belly and red bowtie. I called him Blue Boy and whenever I was scared or sad I would hug him and feel better, and that's exactly what Clare is now. But I suppose that I'm the same for her.

Bianca doesn't come to school Thursday or Friday and Owen never says anything about it. He may not know why and if he's worried he never says anything. Movie night doesn't start until six and there's no games tonight so pretty much everyone goes home after school. Adam has his radio show but Mom picks me up, I play video games and change into clean clothes before Mom takes me back to school and says she'll pick us up at 9:30. I'm meeting Marisol at the auditorium entrance and she waves excitedly when she sees me.

"Hi Drew, you look nice," she smiles.

"Thanks uh you too," I reply a little awkwardly and motion for her to walk.

I pay for us to get in and pay for a blanket to sit on. Marisol picks a spot that's close to Jake and Katie, we wave to them and I lie the blanket down. I see Clare come in with Liam and she smiles at me. Marisol keeps talking to me although I haven't heard a word she's said. When she asks me what I think I dodge the question by telling her I'll get us some snacks. By the time I return the lights are dimming, I sit there for a short time but the darkness is not helping my fear and every shadow that moves, just for a split second, looks like Vince. When Marisol cuddles up to me I feel the need to flee from her clinginess.

"I have to use the washroom," I tell her getting up fast. I walk out to the hall like I'm going to the washroom, I actually intend on going there until I see a dark skinned figure in a hoodie and I'm sure it's Vince. He's alone and wandering the school and I decide to confront him. I follow him down the hall and around the corner. He opens the door to the gym and I run over grabbing his shoulder, "Hey."

"Hey Drew," Julian smiles at me when he turns around. It wasn't Vince at all it was Julian I saw, Vince isn't here, he couldn't get into school and I know that, but it was still the conclusion I jumped to.

"Julian. What are you doing?"

"You in or out Torres?" Owen asks from inside the gym. They look like they're getting ready to exercise but it's better than watching the move with Marisol.

"I'm in," I reply stepping into the gym and Julian closes the door.

(CLARE)

"Where should we sit?" Liam asks as we walk into the gym.

"Uh there's an empty spot over there," I remark pointing to a space between Adam and Chantay and Sav and Holly J.

Liam smiles and takes the blanket over, spreading it out and we sit down. Jake waves to us and I wave back before smiling at Drew. We spend a few minutes talking while waiting for the movie to start, it's all small talk about classes and mutual friends. Not long after the movie starts Drew walks out and doesn't return. I watch for a while and Liam is very sweet but I really don't want to be here with him I wanted to come with Jake. Thinking about Jake reminds me of my parent's divorce, which gets me thinking about the fact that my dad had an affair. Which reminds me of talking to Drew about it all which makes me think about him getting beat up and the fact that Vince is free. I close my eyes and turn my head away, Liam puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Clare? You okay?"

"I'm sorry Liam, you're really sweet and a good guy but I'm just not ready for this. I'm terribly sorry Alli dragged you into this and I appreciate you bringing me but I think I'm just going to go home."

"No problem Clare," Liam nods. He does look disappointed though and I feel bad for running out on him. I get up and walk quickly out to the hall, I only take a few steps before someone grabs my arm and I turn to see Jake.

"Clare what's wrong? Where are you going?"

"I'm okay but after everything I'm just not ready for this, I'm just going to go home."

"You want a lift?" Jake offers.

"No I'll be alright, you get back to Katie. Thanks Jake."

He grins and goes back inside while I keep walking. I can see the front doors when I'm grabbed again but this time I'm shoved into lockers. The force is a little shocking but more surprising and sickening is that my assailant is my ex!

"Eli what are you doing?"

"We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you Eli I want to go home," I reply pushing him away from me.

"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME," Eli yells grabbing my arms again. He squeezes my arms like his fingers are a vice and shoves me in the lockers again. The pain and the fear surges me with adrenaline.

"Let go of me Eli," I demand kicking him in the nuts and Eli crumples. Thank goodness guys have that weakness. While Eli is down I run, in the opposite direction of the front door but I'm high on adrenaline and don't realize that until I'm already running. Worried about Eli following me I run into the first unlocked door I find, closing it behind me. I turn around leaning on the door and come face to face with an irate boy. He was on the football team but I don't recall his name. So I just look at him timidly and frightened because right now he looks livid that I'm in here.

"Hey what the hell are you doing in here?"

"I…I'm hiding," I squeak out rather intimidated by the angry and tall football player.

"Julian it's okay let her stay she won't say anything," Drew says and when Julian moves away from me I see not only Drew but Owen in the room.

"Drew? What's going on?"

"Learning MMA fighting. Julian is teaching me and Owen, you can watch but who are you hiding from?" Drew asks walking over as I close the door.

"Eli," I admit quietly.

"You alright?" Drew asks and I nod.

I sit on the bench and watch Julian showing Drew and Owen various moves. Drew is picking up on it pretty quickly and as I watch him learning to fight I see him changing. It's the same confidence I used to see in him when he was playing sports.

"Movie night is almost over we should get out there. I can show you more Monday after school," Julian comments bringing the session to a close.

"Isn't the gym pretty crowded after school?" Drew asks as they start gathering their stuff.

"Yeah and I got hockey practice," Owen speaks up.

"So we'll meet later, after practice or at lunch maybe," Julian replies.

"You going to come watch us?" Drew asks as we walk out.

"Yeah if I know when you're meeting maybe," I reply.

"I'll let you know," Drew responds with a smile.

We walk out together, gathering at the front doors as people leave the auditorium. Adam is one of the first ones out and he looks at us with his eyebrows knit.

"Where'd you guys disappear to?" Adam questions.

"Marisol was boring," Drew replies.

"The movie was boring," I reply at almost the same time.

"Okay don't tell me I'll just assume you were making out somewhere," Adam laughs.

"Adam!" I shriek as my cheeks flush.

"Come on Drew we better go, Marisol's pretty pissed that you ditched her. Are you going to be okay Clare?" Adam questions.

"Yeah Jake was going to give me a ride home anyway."

"Talk you tonight Clare," Drew says before the brothers leave.

I watch them leave and then feel exposed, I look around for Eli but I don't see him. Jake comes out with Katie and Marisol and she does look very miffed.

"Weren't you going home?" Jake questions.

"Yeah I got waylaid by Eli," I tell him.

"Well I was going to give you a ride home anyway you ready?" Jake asks and I nod. "See you girls Monday," Jake says to Marisol and Katie and we go out to his truck. "So, interesting night?" Jake asks as he begins driving.

"Yeah," I nod, "interesting for sure."

Update soon probably beginning later that night and including more of Eli and more of Julian teaching the guys MMA.