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Ch. 7 The Circus of Your Mind
(DREW)
After getting some books from my locker I go back to the foyer to wait for Clare. Adam is here too and he grins at me, I guess we're both waiting for Clare. She walks in a few minutes later with Jake, he must have been working at her house this morning. Jake grins at us and walks off while Clare comes over to us.
"I am having a birthday party Saturday, I already told everyone else and they're coming," Adam tells Clare and she smiles softly.
"I'll be there too," she replies.
"Mom was happy that we both got some sleep, and she agreed that you should sleep over at least a couple nights a week or I should sleep at your place," I inform her.
"That's good, I definitely sleep better when you're close," Clare says and I grin.
"I said you should just move in," Adam replies in a teasing tone and she giggles just as the bell rings. "Come on we'd better get to class," Adam says taking her arm. They wave to me and walk off for homeroom, I walk to English and get through the door just before Eli.
"You and Clare both look better this morning, I'm glad she finally got some sleep I was getting worried," Jake comments as I sit at my desk next to his.
"Yeah we definitely sleep better when we sleep together," I reply with a smirk. I'm sure Jake knows what I mean but I purposely say it this way to bug Eli. It works he looks back at me with a glare and Jake laughs.
"Easy to piss off isn't he?" Jake whispers as Mrs. Dawes comes in.
"Yeah, he always did have a short fuse," I whisper back.
We don't talk for the rest of class but when class let's out I'm tempted to confront Eli about the bruises on Clare's arms. He manages to slip out of class and into auto shop though without me getting to him.
"You look better, you must have gotten some sleep," Owen comments when he comes into class.
"Yeah Clare slept over last night we both got some sleep."
"She coming to watch us after school?" Owen asks.
"Yeah I think so, I'll ask her at lunch," I reply.
Mr. Ehl has us working on engines today, I actually like this class so I pay attention but I do catch Eli glaring at me several times. When the bell rings for lunch Owen and I leave together, stash our backpacks and grab our lunches before going outside to eat. I see Clare eating with Adam and their other friends so I don't want to go over and ask her if she's going to come watch us after school, but I do text her. She texts back that she'll meet me after school. When I get to third period Bianca isn't in class and Owen says she wasn't in homeroom either. She must be ditching today.
"Julian says to meet in the weight room in an hour," Owen tells me. He had hockey practice before school so we able to meet after school today, but we're going to wait for the school to clear out.
I text Clare where to meet and when and she says she'll be there. Owen and I go to The Dot to kill some time before we meet Julian. Clare is also here, with my brother, they seem to be doing homework but we sit with them anyway. I get out my homework but I don't understand my English homework so Clare explains it to me.
"I'm going to Owen's to work on our business class homework," I tell Adam when it's almost been an hour.
"I need something from my locker. I'll see you tomorrow Adam," Clare says.
"We'll walk with you Clare my car is at the school anyway," Owen comments.
"Be careful walking home," I tell my brother.
"I can take care of myself Drew," he replies in a slightly annoyed tone and I scowl at him.
We leave the café together and Adam walks for home while the rest of us walk to the school. It's pretty empty now, a few people are still here for after school activities and a few teachers are still here working. We walk to the weight room and lock the door. Clare sits down and watches while Julian teaches Owen and I some MMA.
"You know Mom did say you should sleep over and tomorrow is Adam's birthday why don't you stay over tonight. We can swing by your place to get some of your stuff," I say to Clare as the four of us walk out of school.
"Sleeping over huh?" Julian grins.
"Dude shut up it's not like that," I respond shoving at him.
"I can take you both to Clare's house and then take you both to your house since you live a few houses down from me," Owen offers.
"Thanks but I will have to check with my mom first," Clare replies.
Julian waves to us as he gets in his car and drives off, Clare and I get in Owen's car. He drives us to Clare's house after she tells him how to get there. It's pretty easy since she lives pretty close to the school. I see Jake's truck when we get here, and another truck that says Martin Construction so it must be his Dad's. I don't see her Mom's car but Owen and I follow Clare inside anyway.
"Hi Clare, and Owen, and Drew," Jake says when we come in.
"Hey Jake, hi Glen. Where's my mom? I thought she'd be home by now," Clare remarks.
"She has to work late," Glen tells her.
"Wait here a minute I'll go call her," Clare tells us before going upstairs. While she's upstairs Jake introduces me and Owen to his dad. "Mom said I could sleep over, apparently your mom called mine and they talked about it. I've got what I need for tonight and tomorrow," Clare says when she comes back downstairs.
"Cool," I smile.
We say goodbye to Jake and Glen and get back in Owen's car. He takes us to my place and we thank him for the ride as we get out of the car. When we come through the basement door Adam is not at all surprised to see us together.
"Oh good you're all home now, dinner will be ready in a few moments, you should washup" Mom says coming downstairs.
Clare and I put our stuff down and washup down here while Adam goes up to the kitchen. We all eat together, even Dad is home for dinner which is fairly rare. Mom asks about everyone's day and we all tell her school was fine. Dad talks a little about work and then Mom talks a lot about the school board. After dinner the three of us clean up and then go down to the basement to do homework. We've all done some homework but we have some left. Then we watch TV until it's time for bed.
"You can take my bed I'll sleep down here," I tell Clare.
"No I don't want to kick you out of your bed," Clare shakes her head.
"No I insist you should take the bed," I reply.
"No I'll be fine down here," she argues.
"Why don't you both sleep down here. I'm sure you'll both end up down here anyway no matter who sleeps on the sofa and who takes the bed," Adam comments.
"He does have a point," I comment and Clare nods while biting her lip. "I'm just going to get ready for bed and get us some blankets and pillows I'll be right back."
We all get up and Clare grabs her bag while Adam and I go upstairs to get ready for bed. Once I'm ready for bed I get the comforter and pillow from my bed and go down to the basement. Clare is ready for bed and she's gotten one of the spare pillows and blankets from the closet. We set up on opposite sides of the sofa and I turn on the TV, we don't say anything and we both fall asleep to the TV but surprisingly we both sleep all night. Mom wakes us up early but neither of us mind since we both slept all night. Mom takes us to breakfast at Adam's favorite place since it's his birthday. After breakfast she drops the three of us at school.
"Hey Drew," Julian calls while I'm at my locker.
"Hi Julian."
"Owen has hockey after school we'll have to meet at lunch," Julian tells me.
"I can't today it's Adam's birthday. I'm taking him to lunch, and Saturday is Adam's party."
"Guess it will be just me and Owen then," Julian shrugs and walks off.
I grab my book and head for homeroom. Eli glares at me in homeroom and in auto shop, which he's been doing a lot of lately. I still don't understand what's going on in English and auto shop remains my favorite class. At lunch I find my brother, along with Clare, at their lockers.
"Come on Little Bro I'm taking you to lunch at the pizza place. You should come too Clare."
"Are you sure? I don't want to impose on brother bonding time," Clare replies.
"We're sure," Adam says putting his arm around her shoulders.
The three of us leave school, walk down the block to the pizza place and I buy the three of us lunch. We get back to school just before the bell for third period.
"Too bad you missed the work out at lunch," Owen comments when I walk into photography.
"It's Adam's birthday. I'll meet Julian this weekend and he can show me whatever he showed you and more," I shoot back and Owen grins.
(CLARE)
"Hi Dad," I answer my phone with a huff. It's late Saturday morning and I was enjoying my weekend until just now.
"Hi Clare, I thought you'd come to dinner tonight. It's time to meet Elaine and her son," he says and my stomach fills with angry butterflies. My free hand clenches into a fist, my chest tightens, a flood of tears go to the corners of my eyes.
"I can't Adam's birthday party is tonight and I already told you I'm not ready to meet her," I reply through clenched teeth.
"I don't see why not you spend nearly every day with your mom's new boyfriend and his son," Dad responds with an annoyed tone.
"It's not the same thing Dad I already knew Glen and Jake."
"You've met Elaine before," Dad shoots back.
"I didn't know you were sleeping with her when I met her at the office before. It is not the same thing and I am not ready to meet them," I growl hanging up on the phone and then scream as I toss the phone onto my bed. I'm about to scream again when there's a knock on my door. I turn around and it opens slowly, Jake peeking in cautiously.
"Is everything okay?"
"No my dad called and said I should come to dinner to meet Elaine. I keep telling him I'm not ready and he doesn't listen. I don't even think he cares that much that I meet them but that he competes with Mom. Every time I talk to him he brings it up that I need to meet them and his only reasoning seems to be that I've met you and Glen. I keep telling him it's not the same but he doesn't seem to care. Right now I don't want to see him or talk to him at all! It's bad enough he was cheating on my mom with this woman for years. Now he's insisting I spend time with her and he's doing it just to compete with Mom because he found out about her and Glen," I rant to Jake before letting out a breath.
"I'm sorry Clare," Jake says putting his arm around my back and hugging me. "You don't ever have to meet Elaine if you don't want to and your dad can't force you to. Why don't you forget about your dad right now. I can take you to Adam's for his party," Jake offers and I smile.
"Adam's party isn't for almost six hours."
"So go over early, help set up. Don't you always feel better with Drew?"
"Yeah after a nightmare, this is different."
"So? Adam's your best friend and just because you feel better with Drew after nightmares doesn't mean he can't make you feel better after this. Come on I know you'll be happier there and I know they'll be happy to have you there," Jake comments.
"Thanks Jake. I'm sleeping over tonight I just need to pack my stuff," I tell him.
Jake smiles and tousles my hair before leaving my room. I pack a bag and go downstairs, we get into his truck and he drives us to Adam's. I thank Jake again before getting out of the truck and go to the basement entrance. Not so surprisingly the brothers are playing a video game but they both say hi when I come through the door. I watch them finish the level and then they put it on the menu and Adam mutes it, both of them looking over at me at the same time.
"I hope you don't mind I came over so early," I say apologetically.
The two of them furrow their brows in nearly the same way and give me the same look. It's times like this when they sure look like they're related by blood.
"You practically live here, actually you do live here now a few nights a week and you know you're always welcome here," Adam says in a scolding tone and Drew nods.
"Thanks," I grin at the brothers.
"So, what happened?" Adam asks and I bite my lip. "I know something happened," Adam says when I stay silent for a moment.
"My dad called again, he's determined for me to meet that woman he cheated on Mom with. And he only seems to be doing it to compete with Mom. I can't take it anymore, I don't want to talk to him anymore. I got upset about it and Jake brought me here."
The brothers smile and go back to their video game, I watch them for a couple of hours. I'm not that interested in the video game but Jake was right I do feel better just being here. They turn off the game when they get hungry and we all eat lunch, I help them clean the basement for the party. Then I go shopping with them for food for the party. Audra reminds Drew and Adam that everyone has to be out by midnight before she and Omar leave for a party for his law firm they are going to tonight. Then while Adam showers and changes into clean clothes Drew and I set up. Adam comes down freshly showered and dressed for the party, he puts on some music and it isn't long before the guests begin to arrive. Eli is the first.
"Happy Birthday Adam," Eli grins walking in with his gift for Adam.
"Thanks Eli," Adam smiles taking the gift and setting it on the table.
"Hi Clare," Eli grins and then glances at Drew, "Drew."
"Hi Eli," Drew and I both say at the same time and then we laugh together. From the corner of my eye I see Eli's green eyes narrow in jealousy.
"Eli come help me order pizza," Adam says.
Adam grabs Eli's arm and they sit on the sofa looking at Adam's laptop to order pizza. Dave and Alli are next through the doors followed shortly by Connor, Jenna, K.C. and Wes. Hannah and Fiona are last two to arrive and that's everyone. I talk with Jenna and Alli for the first hour and when the pizza comes we all gather in the kitchenette to get pizza. I sit on the end of the sofa, Eli starts to sit next to me but Drew quickly sits next to me so that Eli can't.
"Thanks," I smile at Drew gratefully.
"I don't want him anywhere near you after what happened at movie night," Drew whispers and I smile again.
When she's done eating Fiona gets up to dance, Jenna joins her and most of the guys are watching them. It's starting to get hot in here so after Drew and I get out the ice cream to soften he opens the sliding glass door, and turns on the porch light. When Eli tries to come over to talk to me again Alli grabs my hand and we start dancing with Jenna and Fiona, when Hannah joins us all the girls are dancing and all the guys are watching. After a couple songs I'm hot and sweating a little so I go outside to get some air. I step out and lean on the sliding glass door, feeling the air on my skin.
"Clare," Eli says stepping outside with me, "we need to talk."
"No we don't Eli," I reply crossing my arms and walking away from him.
"We break up and now you're sleeping with Drew," Eli growls grabbing my arm.
"You don't know what you're talking about Eli and this jealousy of yours is why we broke up in the first place," I remind him pulling my arm away. "I'm sleeping here not sleeping with Drew, I feel better being here, better with him."
Eli's face goes red and his eyes narrow, he reaches out for me and I step back instinctually. He grabs my waist and I sort of fall back onto the bench, as I start to fall Eli comes with me and I hit my back on the bench. For what feels like an eternal moment Eli's jealous eyes stay locked on mine, him on top of me on the bench and I'm not sure just what he's going to do.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Drew yells coming outside. "GET OFF OF HER!"
"STAY OUT OF THIS DREW," Eli growls getting off of me while the rest of the party comes outside to see what's going on.
"Don't tell me to stay out of this I saw what you were doing to her," Drew snarls advancing on Eli.
"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT I WAS DOING TO HER," Eli hisses back.
I'm still in shock and lying on the bench afraid this is going to turn into a fight. I seem to be paralyzed with shock or fear I'm not sure, but either way I can't move. Thankfully Alli and the others can because they step in and keep the fight from happening, Alli leading the charge.
"What the hell is wrong with both of you?" Alli censures smacking each of them upside the head. "So eager to fight neither of you is gentleman enough to help Clare up," she snaps at them while Wes and Adam help me up.
"You alright Clare?" Adam asks and I nod. "Let's all go inside for cake and ice cream," Adam says putting his arm around me.
Fiona grabs Eli and K.C. grabs Drew following us inside. A fight was averted but Eli and Drew glare at each other for the rest of the night. We have cake and ice cream then Adam opens his presents. After he opens presents everyone gets up for more pop or ice cream, a few for pizza and then they break into groups to talk. Eli is talking to Fiona near the fireplace, Drew and K.C. are still near the doors. Jenna, Alli and Dave come over to me pulling me to the stairs where we sit.
"So what happened outside?" Alli asks.
"I went outside for some air and Eli came out. He has the wrong idea about me and Drew and I told him to leave me alone. He grabbed my arm and I pulled it back, I told Eli I felt better being here and he got angry and jealous. He reached for me and I stepped back, he grabbed my waist and we fell on the bench. I wasn't really sure how far Eli would go and then Drew came out."
"Well it's good Drew came out when he did, Eli has some nerve getting jealous after what he did," Alli says.
"Are you hurt Clare?" Dave asks.
"I'm not sure," I admit.
"We should look," Jenna comments.
"No I'm okay, we should enjoy the rest of Adam's party," I insist.
When they don't move I get up and go to the kitchenette for a drink and they follow me. When we're all gathered in the kitchen Drew and K.C. come into the kitchen with us and we spend the rest of the party there. Hannah, Wes and Connor all leave before midnight and are all picked up by Mr. Simpson. Everyone else stays until midnight when Drew effectively kicks them out, except for me because I'm staying over. When everyone else is gone both brothers look at me and speak at nearly the same time.
"What happened out there?"
"Did Eli hurt you?"
"Eli was jealous, I told him to leave me alone, he reached for me and we fell onto the bench together. That's when Drew came out," I reply.
Thankfully before either can say anything else their parents come home. They come downstairs, ask us about the party and we all say it was good. Audra asks us to clean up the food before we go to bed but we can clean up the rest tomorrow.
"Who was Eli jealous of this time?" Drew asks while Adam is running the trash out to the garbage can.
"You," I reply. Drew opens his mouth to respond but Adam comes back in and he closes it again. "I don't know about you two but I'm not that tired. I think I'll change into pajamas and maybe we can watch a movie," I comment.
"Yeah good idea," Adam grins.
"Yeah, I'll bring my bedding down too. At least I'm assuming we're both sleeping down here again?" Drew questions and I nod.
The boys go upstairs to get ready for bed and I take my bag into the washroom to change into pajamas. I wash my face but don't brush my teeth just yet in case I feel like left over cake or ice cream while we watch movies. Adam is the first one downstairs, he and I pick out a movie and Drew comes down as the movie is starting. We watch the movie and we all snack a little more. We put on another movie after that, but we only get about halfway through it before Adam is starting to fall asleep and he goes upstairs to bed. Drew and I keep the movie on and fall asleep to it.
"Clare wake up you're okay," Drew's gentle voice calls me from sleep some time later.
My eyes shoot open with a gasp and when I realize Drew is holding me against his chest I turn to him and let the tears come. He says nothing, just holds me tight but gentle, stroking my back until I stop.
"You want to talk about it?" He asks in a whisper when my tears cease to flow.
"It was about my dad at first, angry because I wouldn't spend time with Elaine. Then it became about Eli, jealous over the fact that I sleep here. You two were fighting and you wouldn't stop and then…" I stop and bite my lip, "I don't remember." Actually, I do remember but I don't want to talk about it.
"I thought he was…hurting you," Drew says although he pauses for several seconds and I'm sure he was going to say something else.
"I know, I'm okay and you shouldn't be fighting with Eli," I scold Drew.
"Is he really jealous over the fact that you sleep here?"
"I don't know," I reply moving a little so my face isn't on Drew's chest anymore, but I'm careful to stay in his arms. "I'm not sure if he's jealous because I find comfort being here, or because I sleep here because of it. Or if he thinks there's something between us. I'm sorry I woke you," I apologize to Drew.
"I was having my own nightmare so it's a good thing you woke me."
"You want to talk about it?"
"Same as it always is, Vince and some of his gang found me, they beat me and then they kill me. He's out there, I always feel like he's watching. About the only time I feel secure is when I'm doing MMA and I feel like I could kick his ass if he tried again," Drew admits.
Between Eli and my dad I haven't had nightmares involving Vince killing Drew in many nights. Yet even the nightmares about my dad involve Drew getting hurt somehow, by Vince or by some unseen shadow, or by Eli. Thinking about this I shiver inadvertently and Drew tightens his arms around me. We stay this way for a moment but I'm the first to move, sitting up and leaving Drew's arms. As soon as I'm out of Drew's arms I feel colder.
"I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight do you want to put on another movie?" I ask Drew.
"Yeah," he nods getting up from the sofa.
Using the light of the TV he picks out another movie and puts it on. When he returns to the sofa he sits back where his bedding is. We stay up until nearly dawn watching movies but eventually we both fall asleep again. Both of us wake up a little before one that afternoon and only because Adam came downstairs.
"Mom says we need to clean up. You guys hungry?" Adam asks with a yawn sitting on the sofa between us.
"Starved, we have leftover pizza," Drew comments getting up from the sofa.
"Save me a slice I'm going to change," I tell the brothers.
I change, brush my hair, put on deodorant and come out of the washroom. Adam and Drew are on the sofa, they have the TV on and are eating cold pizza for breakfast. I grab a slice and join them on the sofa. After we've all eaten breakfast we clean up the basement. We've already cleaned up the trash so there's not a lot to do, mostly getting furniture back in place and vacuuming.
"I should probably get home," I comment when we're done cleaning up.
"Are you sure? You can hang out for the day," Adam offers.
"No I'm sure, Mom has the day off and we're having dinner with Jake and Glen tonight. I'll see you guys at school tomorrow," I tell them.
"We'll take you home," Adam says.
"Yeah you shouldn't walk home. Adam has his license now I'm sure Mom will let us take the car," Drew replies before going upstairs to ask his mom for the car keys.
He returns a few minutes later and we go out to the minivan. Adam drives , I sit in the passenger seat and they take me home.
"Thanks for the ride. I'll see you guys tomorrow," I smile getting out of the van.
"Bye Clare," they both say together at the same time.
I wave and go inside, Jake and Glen are here and working. Mom is supervising or just watching Glen I'm not really sure. Mom asks how the party was and I tell her it was good and that I'm going to go shower before we go to dinner. Mom smiles and I go upstairs, I pick out a change of clothes because mom says we're going to a nice dinner together. I go into the washroom and turn on the shower to get the water warm. When I step into the shower and close my eyes it's such a peaceful feeling, but I can't stay this way for long. I clean up and change my clothes, the blouse I chose to wear ties in the back and when I try to tie it I notice a pain in my shoulder blades. I hear someone in the hall and thinking it's my mom I open the door. Only it's not my mom it's Jake.
"Can you tie this for me?" I ask Jake holding the strings of the blouse.
"Yeah," Jake nods stepping into the washroom and I turn around. "Clare what happened to you back?" Jake asks with shock.
He turns me to look in the mirror, between my shoulder blades is bruised and dark blue. I knew it was sore I didn't think I got that bruised by falling on the bench.
"It's okay I fell at the party last night," I tell him.
"On what?" Jake asks.
"During an argument with Eli, he reached for me and when he grabbed me we both fell on the bench. I'm okay, can you tie the shirt now?" I request.
"You might want to grab a sweater to hide the bruise. You sure you're okay?" Jake asks as he ties it.
"Yeah I'm okay," I assure him with a smile.
"Can I kick his ass anyway?" Jake asks as I walk across the hall to get a sweater.
I just scowl at him grabbing my purse and winter coats as our parents call us down to leave. Glen takes us to Mom's favorite restaurant and they do most of the talking over dinner. After dinner we walk down to a coffee shop and get dessert, there's a fireplace in this café, Mom and Glen are cuddled up on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Jake and I are uncomfortably sipping our coffee and trying not to look at them as we make small talk. When we have to watch them kiss we decide we've had enough.
"Uh Clare and I are just going to go walk around, look at the shops," Jake says. We grab our coats and leave the café.
"Thank goodness. I mean I think they're cute and I'm glad they're both really happy but there's only so much of that I can watch," I comment when we're outside.
"Yeah I've never seen my dad so happy, it's great but I was starting to feel my dinner come back up watching them. So what happened at the party last night with Eli?" Jake asks.
"I told you."
"You said you had an argument."
"He's jealous of me Drew or the fact that I spend time over there. I told him to leave me alone, he grabbed for me, caught my waist and we both fell. I was scared but Drew came out and Eli didn't talk to me the rest of the night. I told you he gets emotional and…"
"You told me he crashed his car for you, I don't like him."
"You don't have to like him I'm not dating him anymore, we're not even friends but he's still friends with Adam. Forget Eli, how are things with you and Katie? Are you official yet?"
"Movie night was our only real date we've been flirting at school though."
"So ask her out. What was wrong with this weekend?"
"Had to work with Dad on your downstairs. I don't have a lot of time."
"Jake I'm sure if you told your dad you needed a night off he would give it to you. I'm sure my mom won't mind either, it would just be another excuse for them to spend time alone together."
"Okay so what do you do here on dates? At our old place I'd take the girls to the lake in the summer and ice skating in the winter. Cozy, romantic fire worked every time," Jake grins.
"Well there's The Dot and Above the Dot on the weekends. The Break Room for pool, putt-putt, we do have ice sk…"
"Well, well," a chilling voice cuts me off and I freeze. Vince steps out of the shadows from an alley, followed by several other boys. "Thought I recognized that voice," Vince grins. "I told you I'd see you again," Vince smiles brushing a strand of hair from my face. I flinch back and Jake bats his hand away.
"Don't touch her," Jake growls.
Afraid of what Vince and the others will do I quickly grab Jake's hand and turn us. We only make it a couple of steps before we're totally surrounded by them. I feel my heart seize, the breath in my lungs turns cold, still holding Jake's hand I grip it tightly.
"Where do you think you're going Sweet Face?" Vince cackles.
I know I'm very mean to end it here. Update soon picking up from right here. Next updated will be Alone on a School Night.