Mating Season Sucks
One day Zarbon was sitting in the garden sitting on a huge rock, he took a rose and smelled it, "These flowers need to be replanted." He said throwing the rose to the other side of the garden, all the sudden Frieza came up behind him.
"Good morning Zarbon! I need to have a talk with you!" Frieza said sitting down next to Zarbon.
"Yes lord Frieza what is it?" Zarbon asked thinking that maybe Frieza wanted to give him another blowjob, which did not happen in years, for Frieza rather outgrew taking his rage out on Zarbon.
"Zarbon you know how I want you to wait until I die to find a mate for life?" Frieza asked.
"Does that mean you'll let me find one?" Zarbon asked excitedly.
"Not so fast! You still need to wait; I just want to warn you that during mating season, since your species are especially horny around this time of year, especially if they haven't found their significant other, you need to keep your pants on." Frieza said.
"Frieza we've had this talk since I was five, why do you lecture me about this every single year?" Zarbon asked embarrassed.
"Because I raised you and I want you to wait until I die." Frieza said.
"I get the message, but I do have a question, does it matter if I marry a man or a woman?" Zarbon asked.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Frieza asked.
"I'm stuck on the fence." Zarbon said.
"You mean you're bi?" Frieza asked.
"Yes that's kind of what I was trying to tell you…" Frieza interrupted Zarbon.
"Well stop beating around the bush!" Frieza said annoyed.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it that I'm attracted to women and men, I mean women are so good-looking and sweet and men are handsome and so protective, but at the same time I don't really need protection from a man, so I guess I should marry a woman then?" Zarbon asked shrugging his shoulders.
"Whatever, just remember what I told you!" Frieza then got up and walked away.
"God mating season is so demanding." Zarbon thought.
"Hello Zarbon!" Zarbon turned around, it was one of Frieza's sex slaves Tuscan, he was a man, but he was also the same species as Zarbon, a primal changeling.
"Hello what's up?" Zarbon asked.
"I think you look good today." Tuscan said smiling at Zarbon.
"Yes so do you, right on primal changelings rule?" Zarbon said sarcastically.
"I need to show you something." Tuscan said.
Zarbon then panicked, he was afraid that Tuscan would ask him for a blowjob, but then again he went along with it anyways, "Ok show me what you need to show me!" Zarbon said.
All the sudden Tuscan transformed into a hideous beast just like Zarbon did, "So do I look strong enough to adopt a child with you?" He asked.
"Are you challenging me to a fight?" Zarbon asked nervously.
"Oh yah the mating…" All the sudden Zarbon interrupted Tuscan by taking him by the arm and threw him to the other side of the garden.
"What the hell was that all about?" He wondered and went inside.
Later on in the cafeteria, Zarbon was sitting with Cui and Appule his two best friends in the world, "So Tuscan challenged me to a fight!" Zarbon said.
"Why? People rarely challenge you to fights," Appule said.
"I think Tuscan told me that he had his eye on Zarbon for a long time now." Cui said eating a tuna sandwich.
"What, that makes no sense at all, he challenge me to a fight today! How could he love me and challenge me to a fight?" Zarbon asked.
"Are you sure it was a fight he challenged you to?" Appule asked.
"I'm pretty sure it was a challenge I have no idea what else it would be…"
Before Zarbon could finish one of Frieza's other primal changeling sex slaves came up to the table, "Hello Zarbon nice weather we're having." It was Lana, what did she want?
"Hello Lana, oh you won't believe this Tuscan challenged me to a fight and I haven't a clue why, have I offended him in any way?" Zarbon said.
She rolled her eyes, "Well that's strange, I believe it's quite the opposite really, I hear him ramble on that he wanted to adopt a child with you." She said.
"Hum?" Cui asked with his eyes growing wide.
"That's strange so he likes me and hates me at the same time?" Zarbon asked.
"But I want you more!" Lana said, all the sudden she transformed into an ugly monster.
"Ew we're trying to eat Lana!" Cui said.
"Maybe I'll try later then." Lana said walking away from the table.
"Did she just challenge me to a fight also?" Zarbon asked even more confused than the last time.
"I don't think so," Appule said stuffing his face with potato chips.
Later on Zarbon was working out at the gym, lifting weights, when all the sudden another one of Frieza's primal changeling sex slaves came over to him, "Hello Zarbon how are you doing?" Quenta asked with twilight in her eyes.
"I'm just lifting weights so that I can stay in shape, since when do you work out?" Zarbon asked.
"I just started yesterday," Quenta said.
"Maybe I could be your personal trainer then." Zarbon said.
"Maybe, but I don't need one, I just want a mate is all, you know it is mating season for primal changelings." Quenta said.
"So what? I'm a primal changeling and I am not looking for a mate." Zarbon said.
"I have been known to bore strong children, and I can prove my point too!" She said.
Zarbon put his weight down, "Wait just one minuet, are you saying that you want me to impregnate you, Frieza wouldn't like that at all…"
Before Zarbon could finish, she transformed into an ugly creature and he was shocked, "Why do you want to fight, I have nothing against you!" Zarbon then got so mad that he walked out of the gym.
"What a strange man!" Quenta said.
Zarbon was not sure about what to do next, and then he thought of an idea, whenever he wanted to know more about anything he always used to the library!
He went to the library in the palace, which only royalty could use, that included all the Cold family and himself, with the exception of Cui and Appule his two best friends in the world, oh yah and Liya his ex-girlfriend of a different species.
He was reading more about his own species, "Looking for something?" It was Vegeta, what the hell was he doing in the library, he was not allowed into the library?
"Vegeta you know you're not allowed in here right, you're going to get into big trouble." Zarbon warned.
"No you misunderstand I don't crave for knowledge in the way you do, I'm here to run an errand for Frieza." Vegeta said.
"Meaning?" Zarbon asked lifting an eyebrow suspiciously.
"Meaning that I need to get a book on sexual positions, Frieza said so." Vegeta said.
"Uh god damn it, Frieza is such a pervert, so have you found the book yet?" Zarbon asked.
"No I can't read I can't find any books on sexual positions what-so-ever! This is my first errand ever that I've been running for Frieza and he got this idea that I can read." Vegeta said blushing.
"Oh why didn't you say that you needed help finding a book? Here I'll help you find one." Zarbon then looked for a book on sexual positions and found an old copy of Kama Sutra Icejin Changeling Style. "Here you go," Zarbon said.
"Thanks," Vegeta said smiling as he then skipped out of the library.
"Sucker!" Vegeta said laughing in his head.
Zarbon looked for hours in the book then he realized that he made a huge boo-boo, "I don't understand, I don't see anything in here but sexual positions, uh Frieza has the worst books ever!" Zarbon then put the book back and walked out of the library.
Zarbon then turned to his last resort, his ex-trainer and brutal brother-in-law Shasha. He was a mean, rapist that was the best friend of Dodoria and together they would hurt innocent people including the rape of unsuspecting females. Even though Shasha married Zarbon's younger half-sister and abused her on a daily basis, he was still a primal changeling also, he was the only one who know stuff about Zarbon's species.
Since Zarbon was raised by mostly Icejin Changelings, he knew almost nothing about his own species, other than the fact that they transformed. Well Zarbon had to see him, he luckily found him at the gym hours after Quenta left. He walked up to Shasha who was busy lifting weights.
"Vhat the hell do you want? Do you need to learn how to not be pussy anymore?" Shasha asked in his thick Cyrillic Russian dialect accent.
"No its nothing like that, the other primal changelings have been going around transforming in front of me for some weird reason, I of course assume they want to fight…" Shasha interrupted Zarbon.
"How dumb are you? Do you have any idea vhat time it is?" Shasha asked.
"It's precisely twenty-three hundred hours." Zarbon said looking at the big clock on the wall.
"No sit down I need to have talk with you!" Shasha said pulling Zarbon by the arm so he could sit down next to him.
"It's mating season for single primal changelings you naïve idiot! Vhen people usually go around transforming in front of you that mean they vant to bore you children, strong children like their mamas!" Shasha said.
"Oh and Tuscan transformed too." Zarbon said.
Shasha rolled his eyes, "Yah because he gay! The only reason vhy he would even transform in front of you is because he trying to show that he's potential mate so that you two can be compatible for one another." Shasha said.
"But I don't like him, nor do I like Lana or Quenta that way also." Zarbon said.
"You had no idea that transforming also meant looking for new mate?" Shasha asked.
"No you never told me nor did Frieza!" Zarbon said.
"Frieza doesn't vant you to take your pants off at any time, so keep them on! Try to resist no matter how hard people badly vant you!" Shasha said.
"You're right I need to swallow my feelings and appear more prideful!" Zarbon said.
"Good boy now get the hell away from me!" Shasha said.
All week Zarbon did the best he could to resist the women and small number of male primal changelings that either wanted to mate with him or adopt with him. It was going as planned, then she walked back into his life, her name was Darla.
Years ago, she was originally babysat by Zarbon. How did this happen? Frieza had his solders look after a child each so this orphanage could be built for them to live in. It was a reasonable size of a group, and it ended up that Zarbon developed paternal feelings for her and wanted to adopt her, but that did not work out at all.
Fast forward in time, Darla ended up living in the orphanage that Frieza built for all the orphans so that they could be trained to be military assassins, better known as low-level solders, it so happened that Darla did such a good job that she was to meet with Frieza to decide if she was ready to go onto the military ranks with the big guys.
Zarbon was sitting at the table with Cui and Appule, "So are you doing a good job of not mating with the other primal changelings?" Cui asked.
"I always wondered why they came up to me all these years; damn I should have asked Shasha a long time ago." Zarbon said eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
All the sudden she walked up to the table, "Hello Zarbon!" Darla said.
Zarbon was so startled that he nearly choked on the sandwich he was eating, but he managed to get the piece of bread down his throat, "Do I know you?" He asked bewildered by this, gorgeous girl.
"Remember me Darla?" Darla asked smiling.
"You mean that orphan that I had to babysit that one time, along with the other orphans that Frieza picked up from that one old orphanage that was being torn down? Oh my God I didn't recognize you! Come here!" Zarbon said grabbing her and hugging her tightly.
She had grown much prettier since the last time Zarbon saw her, she was now fifteen whereas Zarbon was twenty-five. Now before anyone freaks out about the age difference, keep in mind that unlike human teenagers, primal changeling teenager's brains developed completely by the time they were in their teens.
It wasn't unheard for Primal Changeling adult males to take teenagers as their wives or girlfriends. After all Shasha had an incredible age difference with Miretta he was in his fifties when he married Miretta when she was sixteen. Then Zarbon's dad married his mother when she was fifteen and he was twenty-five, only to end in divorce. Oh that cursed age difference didn't mean shit to primal changelings, as long as they ended up having stronger children with each other.
Cui and Appule looked at one another; they knew very well what was going on since Zarbon was a man and they were men. Men usually could read other men very well, no matter what species they were. It was the same for women.
Zarbon looked Darla all over, and she gave a polite smile, not sure what the hell he was thinking, he was more handsome than she remembered.
"I've missed you! Why didn't you answer back?" Darla asked.
"You wrote a letter to me?" Zarbon asked shocked.
"Yes many as the matter of fact!" She said.
"I forgot to mention this earlier; Frieza's solders aren't allowed to get letters from acquaintances or from orphans in training, just from their parents or girlfriends slash boyfriends." Appule said.
"So that means that all the letters I wrote to you were useless?" Darla asked.
"Not useless, just not accessible." Cui said.
"God this planet sucks, I'm so happy to see you. My you've grown prettier since the last time I saw you." Zarbon said smiling big.
"Yah I know I have haven't I? Well I'll see you around I guess." She then laughed and went away.
Zarbon was staring at her, and smiling really goofy, "Zarbon hello, what is the matter with you?" Cui asked.
"Nothing Cui, it's just as if my heart started beating more after it died a long time ago." Zarbon said looking dreamy eyed.
"Uh oh, I think we better have a talk with him." Appule said.
"It could just be nothing, I mean each time I look at females and think they're hot I forget them in the next second." Cui said.
"I don't think that's the case with Zarbon," Appule said worried.
Keep in mind it wasn't unusual that Zarbon stared at pretty girls, no matter what species they were. In fact there would be times when they would catch him staring at them and they would either laugh it off or get creeped out since his stare was so intense. They just weren't sure if he was trying to undress them with his eyes, trying to use his good looks to get them into bed with him or if he had some anti-social problems.
Zarbon got lonely and he wanted someone to talk to every once in a while, but most of the time he was pretty happy by himself, and didn't mind ignoring a lot of his female admirers. He knew he had that effect on women, they would either drool over him because he was so handsome and in great shape, or they were so intimidated by his beauty that they didn't even want to talk to him.
All that was obvious is that Zarbon did in fact have a lot of trouble with the opposite sex. Besides being pitifully shy around girls, especially ones that he found pretty, fights between women would break out here and there over who Zarbon was staring at or possibly wanting to go out with. Zarbon would sometimes wonder why they only liked him for his looks, and not even bother to get to know him as a person. He was like really intelligent don't forget, how could he not wonder this?
A lot of the low-level, more brutal less intelligent soldiers found it to be hilarious when Zarbon would walk into a room and girls would start fighting over him like he had a halo over his head, most of soldiers knew his other form was so hideous, that's why it was so hilarious that these fights broke out. Other soldiers were jealous of course, especially since it didn't help that Zarbon was really polite, chivalrous, loved animals and not to mention so much more intelligent than them.
After lunch Zarbon did everything he could to look for her, she was the only thing on his mind, for once it was not his friends, nor himself. He just had to talk to her, catch up on things and see where they could possibly go from there. If there was one thing that was sure, Cui and Appule's fears were confirmed, he was either in love or deep lust.
Then he bumped into Liya, his ex-girlfriend, "Liya how are you doing?" Zarbon asked.
"I just got back from a mission; I have to go to ballet class to teach my students. Why do you look so shocked to see me?" Liya asked.
"I'm not shocked it's just that I'm in a hurry." Zarbon said.
"For what?" Liya asked.
"I have a mission to go on too!" Zarbon said.
"Well I won't get in your way then, chero!" Liya said walking to her room.
"Shit I forgot about Liya!" Zarbon said.
Although he and Liya broke up a long time ago, they had secret feelings for one another; well at least Liya did for him, despite the fact that she was a much different species than him. Either way, Frieza forbade her to love him. That did not help much; she was stubborn as a bull and usually did not let Frieza control her own feelings.
She also had a very violent temper and it scared the hell out of Zarbon whenever she would challenge a so-called suiter, either was a close friend of Zarbon's or an acquaintance to a challenge for "Zarbon's heart". It was a good thing that he and Liya broke it off, trust me on this one.
Zarbon then went on his merry way looking for Darla, and then he spotted Vegeta in the hallway reading that book that he was supposed to get to Frieza, he was snickering as he was looking at it. Why that stupid runt! Oh wait, no this was not a surprise to Zarbon that Vegeta pulled stuff off like this, he probably just wanted to catch him in the act at some point in time, just to end up lecturing him.
Zarbon got mad and walked over to him, "So did Frieza ever get that book you were supposed to get to him?" Zarbon asked crossing his arms.
Vegeta was shocked, "It's not what it looks like!" Vegeta yelled.
"How old are you now?" Zarbon asked.
"I'm seventeen years old," Vegeta said.
"Look I won't tell Frieza on you if you don't look at those kinds of materials anymore." Zarbon said.
"I'm only seventeen isn't it normal for a man to be curious about sex?" Vegeta asked.
"Look I don't have time for this, I am letting you off the hook; I have problems of my own!" Zarbon said.
"Are you bitching about another mission to go on, I could go on it for you?" Vegeta said.
"No, that's not it; I have to go!" Zarbon then ran off.
"What's wrong with glamour-puss? He's acting stranger than ever!" Vegeta thought to himself.
Zarbon then bumped into Appule and Cui, "Zarbon sit down we need to have a talk!" Appule said.
"But I'm in a hurry!" Zarbon said.
"Going where?" Cui asked.
"I need to go on another mission!" Zarbon said.
"Frieza hasn't sent you on a mission for months, sit down now!" Cui said pushing Zarbon to the ground.
"Hey what gives?" Zarbon asked angry.
"Frieza told you not to mate with another primal changeling!" Cui said.
"Is this about Darla?" Zarbon asked.
"Yes this is about her, we know what you're up to, look we don't hate you it's just that you could get into trouble if you mate with her and she could get into trouble too for mating with you! Frieza specifically said that you weren't to make love to anyone until he died!" Appule said.
"Do you want to risk being castrated just because you wanted hot sex with this woman?" Cui asked.
"Fuck Frieza, I need to follow my own heart! I can no longer control my own animal instincts! I want to be a father!" Zarbon then got up, pushed both Cui and Appule down and ran away from them as fast as he could.
"He's out of control!" Cui yelled.
"Don't worry, me knowing Zarbon he won't get to mate with her." Appule said.
"What are you talking about?" Cui asked.
"Usually when a primal changeling finds a mate he will be required to transform so that she will accept him as the father of their children. She too has to do the same, or else the mating ritual is useless." Appule said.
"Politics, I don't understand them, I guess Zarbon will have to find out the hard way then." Cui said.
"Sad but true." Appule said closing his eyes, he felt badly for Zarbon.
Meanwhile Liya was hiding behind the corner the whole time, when she heard about this she was ticked, no not even ticked more like pissed, "So that's what he's after! He hasn't been on a mission for months! I knew he was lying to me! That backstabber, I'll find this Darla and I'll give it to her good!" Liya thought to herself.
Zarbon continued to look for Darla then he sensed her close-by, hid behind the door of Frieza's throne room, and caught up with her when she came out, "Hello Darla I need to talk to you!" Zarbon said.
"Hello Zarbon, I was just thinking about you." Darla said raising an eyebrow seductively.
"You were? That's amazing, I mean that's great," Zarbon said blushing deeply.
"Would you like to go somewhere private?" Darla asked.
"Yes that's what I was trying to tell you in the first place, let's go!" Zarbon grabbed her by the arm and took her outside.
Liya spotted them and angrily said, "Son of a bitch!" Liya then followed them into the canyon.
Zarbon sat down awkwardly not having a clue as to how the mating ritual went, he smiled that was all he could do, "Look let's get this over with, I have found the other part of me therefore I shall transform first to show what a great mother I could make for your children!" Darla said.
"What do you mean transform first?" Zarbon asked forgetting that usually primal changelings transformed for one another to show what a "great mate" they would make to their children. He must have been so blinded by Darla's beauty that he forgotten completely about this.
"Simple, I'm going to show you that I'm a compatible mate for you!" She then started to transform, she looked hideous and this made Zarbon uncomfortable. He realized that he made a huge error in judgement, this was so uncomfortable for him and it was getting so awkward for him.
"Excuse me I don't think I can do this!" He said.
"Why not? You want to impregnate me don't you?" Darla asked in her rough English sounding accent.
"I'm beginning to think that maybe my career as a general is more important than starting a family right now!" Zarbon said.
Zarbon was only partially lying the only reason why being a general was important was because Frieza would have him murdered if it was not important to him. He also did not want to transform, it did not make sense to him as why he should transform just to mate with a girl that he liked.
He did not even like to transform anyways, he was raised by a different species that taught him that love was found through compatibility not through transforming. It just wasn't the Icejin Changeling way. It was so silly to him, but now he was stuck in a pickle, he liked Darla lot, maybe he was a little in love with her, but he did not want to have to transform just to prove it, it was a waste of time to him.
"Well do you at least want to have sex with me then, I can go get some condoms." Darla said.
Zarbon got even more nervous, he did not like his other form, and so what made him think that he would like hers'? "I think my timing is a little bit off." Zarbon said.
"Yes it most certainly is!" It was Liya; she was pissed off as hell. She looked like she wanted to kill someone.
"Liya long time no see, I'm so happy to see…" Liya interrupted Darla.
"Get away from him bitch he's mine!" Liya said she, blinded by jealousy that she completely forgotten that she and Zarbon were not dating. She had a possessive nature about her that got so out of control that Frieza suspended her from missions a lot of the time, just so she wouldn't hit on Zarbon or attempt to make love to him.
"Liya how many times do I have to tell you that we're not dating? Why should I go back out with you since you dumped me for that Carpathian prince that you ended up cheating on me with?" Zarbon said.
"Because we had something special and he's now dead!" Liya said.
"Liya you need to calm down!" Zarbon said.
"No I won't!" Liya then marched up to Darla and slapped her in the face. "That's for stealing my man from me!" Liya said.
"You bitch!" Darla said.
"Please ladies don't fight I'm going to tell on both of you if you don't stop it!" Zarbon said trying to be as diplomatic as he could, and it didn't work.
"There won't be any tattling, tattle tale!" Liya said, she then slammed into Darla and Darla ended up against a rock.
"Stop it Liya, you're getting out of control!" Zarbon said.
"I'm going to kill you bitch!" Darla then picked Liya up and threw her into a bolder. "Yah let's see you copy me bitch, I'm tall enough to kick your ass!" Darla said.
"Darla why don't we go somewhere before…" Zarbon then stopped talking, Liya got up and then she started to change shape, she got taller, more bulky and her mouth got wider, she grew sharp teeth, she grew an extra mouth too, for the first time in his life, Zarbon went from being intimidated by this woman, to being frightened by her.
The people of this story are probably wondering where the hell does Frieza find these aliens? Well here is your answer, that's for Frieza to know and for you to find out, end of story!
"Liya you transform too?" Zarbon asked.
"Duh! That Carpathian prince, who I cheated on you with, was the one that taught me how to transform! That's why Frieza fired you from going on those important missions! He asked me to replace you while you got weaker hanging out with Cui and Appule those low-level solders!" Liya yelled.
"Hey those low-level solders are my friends! Don't talk about them that way! Maybe they were right about you all along, you are a psychotic bitch!" Zarbon said.
Liya didn't seem to care what Zarbon just said to her, "At least I have the guts to kill with a vengeance unlike you! You're too soft to even consider beating the living crap out of the women and children that Frieza wants dead, unless Frieza specifically tells you!" Liya said.
"I am so glad I broke it off with you long ago, you are nothing but a psychotic bitch!" Zarbon yelled.
"No I'm not!" Liya then started chasing Darla around, who was still in her other form, "I'll eat you for breakfast bitch!" Liya yelled.
"Help, someone help!" Darla yelled, then Liya grabbed onto Darla's hair, which was in a braid and she started pulling it.
"Couldn't you do more than just act like a girl?" Darla asked, preferring to the fact that there was some hair pulling that occurred in every intelligent species concerning the female sex.
"Shut up bitch!" Liya yelled.
Zarbon did not want Liya to kill Darla, he knew that Liya was a jealous bitch that lashed out on anyone that looked at him, and it was not his fault that Liya was so jealous. However, this was going too far, he knew she was a badass, but in this second, she had proven to be more aggressive than even Dodoria or Shasha.
Zarbon frowned and got up, he had had it up to here, "Get away from her Liya, I'll hit you if you don't!" Zarbon said.
"We'll see about that!" Liya then ran after Zarbon, she pounced on his and started beating him up.
Zarbon did not waste any time, he decided that he felt afraid enough to transform so that's what he did, he turned into that ugly creature that Liya ran away from long ago when she showed his new ability off to her when they were children, "Now it's my turn!" Zarbon said.
He threw her off him, he roared at her, and was going to rough her up a bit, since it was very instinctive for a primal changeling to rough up their enemies in battle while in their other forms. Then all the sudden Frieza showed up, "What the hell is going on here? I heard screaming and roaring while I was tanning!" Frieza said taking his sunglasses off, he got sunburnt too.
Frieza walked over to Liya and stepped on her foot, "Damn it Liya what did I tell you about getting into random fights?" Frieza asked.
Liya was scared as a kitten, "I don't know sir, I…" Frieza interrupted her.
"I'm going to have to execute you for causing so much trouble for what you should have saved for on your missions!" Frieza said.
"So that's how she was able to take over those planets in days, because she transformed and they though her for a small weak woman, I have been friends with Liya for years, and didn't even know that Carpathians grew an extra jaw?" Zarbon thought, then he transformed back.
"Darla, what the hell are you transformed for?" Frieza asked suspicious, knowing how these mating primal changeling rituals worked.
"I'm practicing my moves on Zarbon!" She said she then transformed back as well.
"Liya I want to see you in my office now!" Frieza said grabbing her by one of her jaws.
"Ouch do you have to pull so hard?" Liya asked.
"Oh no he's going to kill Liya!" Zarbon said about to cry.
"Hello she just tried to kill me, you love her don't you?" Darla said about to sob.
Yup, this was bad, really bad. Zarbon then said, "No its nothing like that…I…"
"Why even bother with a fool who is too vain to even transform?" Darla then angrily marched off.
"If you truly loved me then you would understand why I don't use transforming to mate with one of you! Never mind I would rather wait for the right person to come along instead of going after them!" Zarbon then snorted and went back to the palace.
Days later, Zarbon was so mad that he did not even come out of his room, Appule and Cui decided to visit him, "So how is everything?" Cui asked.
"Disastrous, but at least I'm glad that Liya was spared, but Darla doesn't even like me now. She thinks I'm too much of a pussy to transform." Zarbon said.
"Don't worry about mating or finding love, a good mate will come for you when you least expect it, that's what my mom always told me." Appule said.
"No she's totally wrong about that, you can't just wait for it to happen, you have to go out and find a mate while you can! You literally have to put yourself out there for people to notice you." Cui said.
"You're wrong Cui, if you do that then you will end up alone like poor Zarbon here!" Appule said.
"The only reason why he is alone is because he's not allowed to get a mate until Frieza dies, but that doesn't mean he can't cheat a little bit!" Cui yelled.
"Waiting brings better luck Cui; didn't your mother always tell you that?" Appule asked getting furious with Cui.
"I never knew my mother; I was cloned in a science lab!" Cui said.
"Yah right, that's what we call wishful thinking!" Appule yelled.
"So what if its wishful thinking, it's much better than the way we reproduce!" Cui yelled.
Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Uh these two aren't helping with my agony right now!" Zarbon thought to himself. He sighed and started hitting himself on the head with a pillow.
They continued to argue about this issue and other dumb things for hours. All poor, "woe is me" and hopeless romantic Zarbon wanted to do was get past this embarrassing incident. Who the hell knew if finding love required going out looking for it or letting it come to you. Frieza never said anything of any of this to him, nor wanted to.
With all that said and done, Zarbon never heard from or saw Darla ever again. They say that she disappeared for no reason at all, whether it was on a mission to another planet or one of Frieza's suspicious purging of his soldiers, we will never know the truth.
Was she then the one that got away from Zarbon? Of course not, if she did then maybe she would have understood why he hated transforming. All Zarbon was glad about, was that he did not adopt her all those years ago when he wanted to. Frieza at least in this case was right, probably not knowing this disaster of a courtship was going to happen.
End of Story