Chapter 3

Revelations

Delia awoke to the sound of children playing in the street outside. She rolled over to find her bed empty from a lack of Patsy. The sight was no uncommon to her, Patsy never stayed in her room overnight, it was just too risky. She'd obviously returned to her own room in the early morning. Rubbing her eyes she drew the curtains and couldn't help but marvel at the scene in front of her.

There had been a lot of snowfall during the night and the street outside was bathed in a blanket of white. Children from all over were throwing snowballs and building snowmen. They hardly ever got snow like this in London, the smog never really permitted more than a light smattering. But that was over the wellington boots deep, at least two feet had fallen over night and it was clear the local youths were determined to make the most of it. The infectious laugher even brought a smile to Delia's weary face. It was the dawn of a new day in Poplar and, she suspected, a new day in the rest of her life too. Not that it was that simple though, she still needed to talk to Patsy about the nine months they had been apart. Not only that but last night too.

But that could wait. For now, staring out the window Delia noticed, everything seemed brighter somehow. Colours were move vivid and there was a spring in the young Welshwoman's step as she freshened up and dressed for, well brunch it seemed with a quick glance at the bedside clock.

Delia could hear jovial conversation and clattering of crockery as she descended the stairs towards the dining room. Barbara of course would be absent for the next few days, away on her honeymoon with Tom. Delia couldn't help but feel a twang of jealously but it melted away almost instantly when she entered the warm atmosphere of the dining room. Patsy, Trixie, Sister Winifred, Sister Monica Joan and Sister Julienne were tucking into would could only be described as healthy potions of lemon meringue pie.

"Delia, nice of you to join us! You slept well I take it?" Trixie's voice was bright as usual.

"Yes, thank you Trixie, I was exhausted after yesterday's activities." Delia did her best to avoid Patsy's eye but failed dismally and fought to stop a hot blush creeping up her neck.

"Patsy was just telling me all about her voyage - it sounds ghastly, I don't know how one could put up with living on a boat for a month, let alone with hardly any running water..."

Delia settled herself down into the empty seat next to Patsy as Trixie continued to express her amazement at the travel conditions between Hong Kong and Southampton. She felt a foot nudge her calf and smiled at the silent greeting from the redhead.

"Would you like some pie Delia, you must be famished?" Sister Winifred offered.

As Delia accepted and began tucking into the tangy dessert the newest member of the Nonnatus made her appearance.

Patsy's manners preceded her as she rose from her seat and offered her hand.

"Patience Mount. Patsy." She smiled warmly.

"Valerie Dyer." Valerie returned a broad grin. "I've heard a lot about you Patsy!"

"Oh gosh, all of it good I hope?" Patsy winked as she returned to her chair.

"Mostly..." said the brunette mysteriously.

The table laughed lightheartedly. It felt like a scene of almost domestic bliss, everyone talking animatedly about the weather, the fact this was set to be a really cold winter and Fred should really get about fixing the boiler. Delia felt more relaxed and at ease than she had in months. Sister Monica Joan seemed to notice.

"Nurse Busby, I think we are in need of rope, lest you float free from your seat!"

Delia blinked at her, eyebrows raised.

"For you are full of joy, such happiness that has been lacking from your melancholy demeanour these past few weeks."

The elderly nun looked pleased, a twinkle in her eye forming. Delia tried not to blush.

"I suspect the lemon meringue is the explanation. We must ensure it's copious supply for the future." she said, glancing pointedly towards Sister Julienne.

Delia could feel Patsy's gaze but did not meet the redheads eyes. The fact she had been down had clearly not gone as unnoticed as she'd hoped. This tight knit community of women missed nothing. Patsy's foot nudged her again and Delia returned the touch.

It was almost impossible that day to spend any time alone with Patsy that morning. She was bombarded at every opportunity by her workmates to tell stories from her journey. Finally Sister Julienne stepped in suggesting Patsy needed some rest from her travels.

"I think that's quite enough questioning for today everyone, we must leave the poor woman to rest." She turned to Patsy "Before you retire Nurse Mount, please would you see me in my office?"

Patsy, who was busy cleaning the dishes from lunch, paled slightly but agreed.

To everyone's surprise, Phyllis piped up. "Sister Julienne, if I may - Now young nurse Gilbert - sorry, nurse Hereward, is no longer abiding with us, may I request a transfer to the single room? I'm sure nurse busby would much rather be surrounded by her colleagues, especially once she's passed her exams."

Patsy almost dropped the dish she was cleaning.

"As long as Nurse Busby doesn't mind that is." Phyllis added with a pointed look towards the young Welshwoman.

Delia tried not to look too excited as she grinned from ear to ear. "I'm sure I can manage."

Patsy emerged from sister Julienne's office twenty minutes later, bumping into a conveniently placed Delia Busby on the stairs.

"Hello Deels. Or should I say, hello my new roommate!"

"What?" Delia's mouth hung open for a split second before she remembered where she was.

"I trust there is not problem? Nurse Mount has agreed to come back to us for a while, at least until her father's affairs are in order. Since her old room has been taken by Nurse Dyer and you are now in Nurse Crane's old room, there is only one space left."

"No, that's, that's fine." Delia stuttered out.

"Excellent. Nurse Crane told me you slept there last night and your travel case is on the bed. I assume Nurse Franklin and Nurse Dyer will not mind you retrieving the rest of your belongings from your old room."

The older nun retired into her office closing the wooden door gently behind her leaving a stunned pair of nurses in her wake.

"Delia..." Patsy's voice was fully of questions.

"Come on. Let's arrange your - or should I say, our new room." Delia grabbed her arm and they giggled all the way up the stairs.

It was late afternoon by the time Patsy had managed to extract her last few dresses from the already packed and sagging wardrobe in her old room, rearranging them in the slightly less full wardrobe of the new double room.

They slumped down on a single bed and locked eyes. They'd done it. For once they were living together, under the same roof, in the same room. It wasn't complete privicy by any means but it was more than either of them could hope for in the circumstances. Delia could not contain her grin, her face was aching from smiling so much, the muscles in her face unused to so much exertion, but it was a good pain.

Her hand ghosted Patsy's back, half expecting the tall woman to flinch or move away but she lent in, cupping the Welshwoman's face in her hands.

Delia couldn't help herself. "Welcome home Pats."

Their lips met in a chaste kiss full of meaning. Breaking apart Patsy looked at her love curiously from behind deep blue eyes.

"Delia... about Phyllis." Patsy began softly.

"Ah. Yes." Delia looked down at her lap.

"What's going on?" she reached for Delia's hand and squeezed it.

Delia bit her lip, unsure how to go about the revelation that their secret was not so secret anymore. It's like a plaster a little voice in her head said, just rip it off and get it over with.

Delia took a deep breath, her eyes squeezing tight shut. "She knows. About us."

Patsy's hand didn't leave hers. There was no outburst, no shocked exclamation.

"How?" came the calm response.

Delia looked up. There was worry in the redheads eyes but not fear.

"She guessed. She hasn't told me directly she knows but - there's been little things. She kept asking if you'd written or if I wanted to read some of her Spanish love poems."

"And she's okay with it?"

Delia shrugged. "She's not said anything. And if the room situation is anything to go by, I think she's on our side Pats."

Patsy nodded. There was a silence between the two women for a moment.

"I'm glad you had someone... with you. While I wasn't here." Patsy whispered.

Delia nodded shortly. So they were having the conversation now it seemed.

Patsy took a few deep breaths as if steeling herself. "I'm sorry."

Tears began to prickle at Delia's eyes but she forced them away. She needed to hear what Patsy had to say - there were two sides to every story and although she might not want to hear it, she needed to hear both. Although talking about feelings was scarcely second nature to the redhead, if she was ready to speak then Delia knew she needed to listen, the opportunity might not come again.

"I'm sorry I didn't write." Patsy was staring at a spot on the far wall. Her voice shook but she managed to control it. "He was getting worse every day. I could see his life slipping away from me and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt like a failure, like all my nursing skills meant nothing. He was the only thing I had left and... I couldn't save him." she sniffed loudly and tried to stem the tears that had began.

"The days just passed by so quickly but every hour felt so agonisingly slow, I don't understand how. In the end he didn't recognise me at all. I think maybe it was for the best his mind went before his body - he was unaware of the suffering he was going through and I'm glad. But - I never got to tell him about you Delia. I wanted to so badly, but I was scared. I was scared that with his dying breath he'd see his only remaining daughter for what she really was and hate her for it. But I regret that more than anything now. I regret not taking you with me and introducing you to him. You'd love him, he is..." she choked "... was so very kind to me, at the end."

Delia snaked an arm around the shaking woman's waist. Her grief was palpable, great wracking sobs permeated her body as she cried into her lover's shoulder. Sniffing and wiping her face on her sleeve she continued - as if stopping now would mean she'd never be able to start again.

"I realised something. I realised life is so short, so fragile." she raised a hand to stroke Delia's face again.

Delia looked deep into her eyes and saw a mixture of pain, fear and love all at once, battling for dominance in the ocean of blue.

"I don't want to live the rest of my life hiding from happiness. You're the only thing I have left in this life Delia and I don't care anymore what other people think. I love you." she whispered the last three words, her voice finally breaking.

Delia's expression crumpled. She felt selfish and naïve - Patsy was a grieving daughter, she did not need any more anger directed towards her for mistakes she had made. Now was not the time to address Delia's own upsets, her pain was nothing compared to what the redhead had endured the past nine months. It would do better she decided to keep those thoughts to herself, Patsy was in a fragile enough state as it was.

It all made sense though. The kiss in the middle of the street without a backwards glance, not blowing her top off about Phyllis knowing. This was the beginning of Patsy coming out of her shell and for someone who had flinched at the slightest physical contact before, this was nothing short of a miracle.

They held each other for a while that evening, enjoying being in each other's close proximity. All too soon though the winter sun set and the cold began to seep through the old wooden floorboards.

Sister Julienne had insisted on extra blankets for everybody that night. Fred was still procrastinating his task of fixing the boiler and the cold was getting worse. Delia was convinced she heard Sister Monica Joan have a tirade about how frostbite could only be cured with butterscotch.

The morning dawned with another fresh blanket of snow covering poplar. Erasing all the footprints of yesterday's activities and antics and leaving behind a smooth blank canvas, the odd streetlamp sticking out here and there. Phyllis' car was completely covered. Delia shot Trixie a disparaging look as the blonde attempted to muffle a giggle at the older midwife's expense as she deftly attempted to free the entrapped motor.

"Don't stand there gawping you lot, one of you come and help me!" she hollered in the general direction of the porch.

With surprising speed everyone made themselves scarce and Delia found herself alone on the front steps. Sighing she trudged through the thick snow towards her stranded friend.

"What do you need?"

"Just help me with this blasted snow, the poor car's trapped. I haven't seen snow like this in decades!" Phyllis exclaimed, hands in the air.

Delia bit her lip and tried to not find the scene in front of her remotely amusing. Pity overcame her and she began scooping big lumps of snow away from the car's front wheels.

It was cold work and Delia regretted not wearing any gloves. Her fingers were completely numb and she wondered if it was the light reflecting off her uniform or if they were really turning blue.

"Need a hand?" came a jovial voice.

Fred had a appeared wielding a snow shovel.

"And not a moment too soon. You have impeccable timing Fred Buckle." Phyllis scolded him.

Fred glanced at Delia, eyebrows raised.

Delia shot him a warning glance as if to say, I wouldn't go there.

Finally after much huffing and puffing Nurse Crane's motor was on the move, carving beautiful tire tracks through the unmarked snow, the engine only spluttering slightly violently as it took the first bend.

Fred observed his handiwork, hands on his hips. "Ah. Job well done."

"Wouldn't celebrate too soon, the boiler needs fixing remember." Delia reminded him.

His cheery face fell. She almost felt guilty but the previous night shivering under two layers of blankets loomed large in her mind.

Delia's day went without dramatic incident. The hospital was much warmer and if it weren't for a certain red haired nurse awaiting her arrival back at nonnatus, she would've quite happily spent the rest of the night there.

The journey back was so cold she entered the kitchen and began thawing out her frozen hands over a hob over steaming hot chocolate. It was quite late and most of the Nonnatuns were either on call or in compline. Patsy was out "running some errands" in town. Quite what that meant Delia was still unsure but she decided not to pry. She had enough milk for two mugs of hot chocolate just in case.

Without warning two hands snaked their way around her waist. She smiled, leaning back into the embrace as a cold cheek touched her neck. Delia almost dropped the pan with a cry of surprise.

"You're freezing!"

Patsy mumbled something into her uniform.

"What?"

"I need someone to warm me up."

Delia turned to see mischief all over the tall woman's features. She pursed her lips disapprovingly, trying desperately not to kiss the pouted face before her.

"Well, here's something for a start." she indicated to the milk now simmering to a boil. "Go on, grab a pew, I'll be with you in a moment."

They sat on the old, sagging sofa, hands clasped around warm mugs and toes held to the open fire. Delia was still shivering and Patsy made an apology before darting upstairs. When she returned it was with a large, dark red woollen sweater in her hands.

"I don't really think it's my colour but, it would look great on you." she said with a wink.

Delia pulled on the jumper and felt her body temperature instantly increase. She drowned in the wool, hands disappearing up sleeves that were way too long for her small frame.

"Pats. I feel like a tent." she said trying to wiggle her arms free.

Patsy chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "Well, I think you're beautiful."

"Where did you get this?"

"Oh. It was a gift." Patsy turned away, her eyes illuminated by the fire.

"Am I about to get awfully jealous about an ex who knitted you a jumper that you've now passed onto your current girlfriend on a whim?" Delia said cheekily.

Patsy smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Pats?" Delia said quietly, sensing the change of atmosphere.

"My father gave it to me. When he heard I graduated Nursing School."

She shifted on the sofa, reaching out a hand to find Delia's in the sea of yarn.

"I don't think he realised I was no longer a blonde." she smiled sadly.

Delia grabbed a fistful of the jumper and breathed in the scent. There was no bleach smell permeating from the wool, just a happy cozy smell that reminded her of warm fires, hot soup and Patsy.

"It suits you perfectly." Patsy whispered with a rather watery smile.

"Well, at least I don't have plans of becoming a redhead any time soon."

"Good. I like you the way you are."

They sat in silence for a while, hand in hand, watching the flames dance in the hearth, throwing light and shade over the walls of the small sitting room.

"Deels..."

"Yes?"

"Do you... I mean would you... do you think we could..."

"Just say it Pats."

Patsy took a deep breath. "Could we try again?"

Delia looked at her blankly.

"Could we try again, finding a flat... together?"

Before she could register what was happening Patience Mount was drowning in dark red wool and adoring Welsh words as Delia threw herself onto her girlfriend in a massive hug.

"Of course we can. I'd love nothing more."

She let out a relieved sigh and then realised on the next intake of breath she couldn't breathe due to a mouthful of yarn.

"Deels- air..." she gasped.

"Oh, sorry" Delia relaxed her hold slightly but still remained with her arms wrapped around Patsy's neck like an oddly shaped scarf.

Patsy smiled and lent down the shot distance to kiss Delia's nose. It was bright red and very cold.

"After your exams of course. Maybe in the Spring? I don't fancy moving in this weather and besides, Sister Julienne has just agreed that I can stay here for a bit."

"As long as we don't cycle to work, I'm in." whispered Delia, leaning in to capture Patsy's lips with her own.