Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except Vivian.
Chapter Two: Heartache Every Moment.
After a long sleepless night; Vivian crawled out from under the sheets.
She looked a mess. The black steaks still running down her cheeks; hair thick with hair spray.
She climbed into the shower; the temptation to drown herself was over powering. But that mysterious voice intruded her thoughts, "Don't do it, Vivian." It triggered a shiver from her head to her toes.
Vivian looked at her reflection; her cheeks were red from all the scrubbing. Two haunting dark circles underlined her eyes.
She lifted her shirt to reveal 3 pale scars on her stomach. The stomach that only 4 years ago held something so precious.
She could still remember the song on the radio, 'The Kill' by 30 seconds to mars. She saw her husband in the seat next to her; singing along. Her hands resting on an 8 month belly.
The headlights of the drunk's car shown brightly through the windshield. Then she blacked out.
Vivian woke in a hospital bed. Minor scrapes and bruises all down her arms; but the most heart stopping was her stomach.
It was gone; her mama's belly was gone! Vivian felt her stomach through her hospital gown. Thick gauzy bandages were all she felt.
Her heart rate rose rapidly and she began hyperventilating. Some infernal beeping came on in the background. A nurse rushed in and put a syringe in one of the many tubes connected to Vivian. Soon her breath was back to normal along with her heart rate. Her vision became blurred and she fell asleep.
It must have been early morning when she woke again. This time, a doctor was waiting.
Vivian still remembered every word. "You and your husband were in an accident. The windshield shattered and two pieces of metal from the other car punctured you stomach. The baby didn't survive; we had to remove it because it was taking all you energy to heal it. I'm so sorry."
At this point, Vivian was crying. She asked about her husband.
"Your husband; Shannon Leto, he's in a coma. He doesn't look like he will come out of it any time soon. I'm sorry Vivian. I have to leave; but if you need any thing, ask for me, Michael way."
Vivian was all alone; no one to help her through the lose of her baby. Nobody.
She remembered last night as if it were 5 minutes ago. She was at a doctor's banquette; there we're celebrating the opening of the new hospital. Vivian was dancing with her fellow doctors when a complete stranger asked her to dance. She had seen this man before, she remembered him from the back of her mind; but she couldn't place his face. He had mentioned that he was going to be transferred to the new hospital. Vivian said she would have to look his up and asked his name.
"Michael Way."
All time seemed to pause, the music stopped. Memories flashed through her head like an old movie.
The Radio.
What if I wanted to break?
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
Shannon in the seat next to her. Vivian laughing at how off tune his singing was.
What if I fell to the floor?
Couldn't take this anymore
What would you do?
The swerving drunk driving toward them, the headlights shining through the front window.
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Her high pitch screech of "Shannon" as she pointed wildly at the drunk. But it was too late. The smashing of metal on metal.
What if I wanted to fight?
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
Vivian arguing with the doctor about going to see Shannon. Crying about her lost child.
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you, from you
The feeling in Vivian's legs returned and she ran. Ran from the banquette hall. Ran from all her friends. And ran from Michael.
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
She ended up at some random building. Who cared which as long as it was tall. Vivian climbed the stairs; tripping up some of them. She wrenched the sandals off her feet and kept going.
I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now
This is who I really am inside
Vivian ran out on the roof, tears streaming down her face. She stepped up to the ledge and looked over the edge. Cars roared passed, unaware of the happenings above them.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now…
The stranger who saved her life when she almost fell off the edge. "Don't do it, Vivian." His enchanting voice filled the night air.
THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM!
Vivian let go of her shirt; still staring at her reflection. Her vision blurred from her tears. She clutched the counter next to her for support. The full length mirror loomed in front of her.
Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you
Vivian let out a scream of rage and threw her fist against her reflected face. The glass shattered all over the bathroom floor.
Come break me down
Break me down
Break me down
Vivian fell to her knees, arms wrapped across her chest. Sobs broke out as she leaned back and forth. Finally the tears stopped and she rolled over onto her side and laid on the glass.
What if I wanted to break?
"When I said 'don't do it', I ment don't do anything drastic," came his voice again.
What if I…
Vivian turned her head slightly and looked at him standing in her doorway.
What if I…
She turned her face back to face the wall. Her eye caught the reflection of one of the pieces of glass. It was aimed at the door; and he wasn't in it.
What if I…
She turned back to the doorway. His piercing blue eyes still stared down at her. The frown still carved on his face.
What if I…
Vivian looked back at the shard. He was gone. She removed her hand from her arm and picked up the glass. Blood trickled down from her bloody fist to meet the fresh blood on her fingertips. She held the mirror at the angle of the doorway; still, he wasn't in it.
Bury me
Bury me
("The kill" 30 seconds to mars.)
She stared in wide eyed horror at the glass. Vivian didn't dare look back over her shoulder. Reluctantly, she rolled over onto her back; glass crunched under her weight. She let out a small gasp.
Maybe she was imagining things. Maybe she was loosing her mind.
The doorway was empty.