(A/N: I'd like to admit something: I'm having a bit of a tough time making Max and Chloe's narrations sound different from one another. I'm trying to fix it— but for now, sorry if they sound the same. At some point I'd like to get a cover image for this story, problem is I don't know how I'm even going to get one.

As you might be able to tell in this chapter, I took a bit of a minimalist approach with dialogue tags and beats as an experiment. I've been kinda busy trying to wrap up my senior year in high school (I graduate in two weeks), so I haven't been updating as frequently as I might've wanted to. Enjoy.)

(Oh, if there are any errors, I didn't notice them. That's the challenge of being the writer and editor at the same time.)

Chapter 5: Mutuality.

CHLOE:

A doe.

Staring right at me, not even ten feet away, standing in the snowy path that led out of the woods. It hardly moved a muscle, as its every breath became a visible vapor in the freezing air.

Me.

Staring right at it and hardly moving a muscle, only blinking once in a while. Holding my breath, staying still, trying not to scare it away.

It pinned its ears back, sniffing the air and checking me out; It took a dainty step forward.

And another… and another, and several more, until I could see the swirls in its fur, close enough to touch. Our eye contact never broke the entire time, staring each other down. Up close, I could see how young it really was. If I had to guess, it had only just lost its spots.

It had waded through the fluffy snow, leaving small hoofprints behind it. It fluttered its long eyelashes at me, drawing my attention to its eyes, on which were tiny reflections of myself.

Snowflakes no longer fell, even though only a few hours had passed. The sun's rays of light seeped through the heavy clouds in the sky above, radiating its dull warmth across my back. Shakily breathing in astonishment, I pulled a hand out of my coat pocket and slowly reached out to the deer; it let me. Its fur was fuzzy and warm against my cold, quivering hand.

My heart briefly fluttered in my chest, and I let out a sigh of amazement. Everything was quiet, only the sound of the wind filled the area.

It responded by taking one more step forward, gently nuzzling my stomach with its nose. More warmth spread throughout my body — but not from the sun, which was beginning to melt the snow. I couldn't believe what was happening. This animal was supposed to be afraid of people, why was it acting so… weird?

If Max were there, she'd probably be excited out of her mind. Deer were her favorite animals, and she strongly opposed hunting them. She absolutely refused to shoot a gun, especially at an animal. But she'd probably take a shot with her camera, since this was one hell of a photo opportunity.

Its fur against the flesh of my hands was comforting, enough to make me forget about my worries for a little while. Home was where I'd been headed. In spite of being mad at my Mom, I just wanted to go home at that point. I guess sitting alone in a treehouse will do that to you.

That deer was in my way, but I wasn't complaining. Highlight of my day, right there.

Speaking of day, it was kinda starting to get dark, and I didn't want to get stuck out there. But hey, at least I wouldn't be alone, right? The deer would still be there.

I spent a good long while petting it, running my hands along its back, feeling its lungs expand and contract as it took in the cold air. As fucking amazing as this was, I really needed to start heading home.

I warmly smiled, giving the doe one last rub. "Sorry, buddy, I gotta go home now."

It looked up at me again, blinking its eyes in innocent cluelessness. With that, I stuffed my hands back into my jacket pockets and started walking through the thinning snow, stepping around the deer and over a fallen branch.

It followed me. Of course it would, being the world's friendliest deer. When I noticed it was tailing me, I couldn't help but laugh. "Hey… Bambi, as much as I'd like to, I can't bring you-"

"Chloe! Oh, thank god!"

My heart skipped a beat and I froze in my tracks.

The deer bolted off at the sound of my Mom's voice. She ran to me and put her hands on my shoulders, looking me over in the way a doctor examines a patient. Officer Berry followed behind her, but kept his distance. They both wore thick coats, Berry wore some sort of police issue one.

Mom asked through her panting, "Honey, you had me worried sick. Are you okay? It's freezin' out here."

I gently shook her gloved hands off of me, avoiding eye contact with her. "Mom, I'm okay. I just…" I looked in the direction the deer ran towards, through the trees.

"Look at me, Chloe." I did. "I was looking everywhere for you."

"How did you find me?"

"Motherly intuition— don't you ever do that again, you hear me?"

I shivered, but not from the cold. "God, Mom… I'm so sorry."

Her eyes welled up. "It's okay, hon… it's okay…"

I caught her in a hug, chin on her shoulder. Her hand held the back of my head, while her other arm had wrapped around me. I could faintly smell the perfume she wore, smelling like some kinds of flowers. I glanced towards Officer Berry, who was also looking in the direction the deer ran, but he didn't seem to be weirded out by anything.

Eventually, I had to let go of my Mom— a gesture she hesitantly returned.

I scanned the ground, trying to find the hoofprints the deer had left. They were gone, like they'd never been there. My breath escaped me as I grew increasingly confused. It was fucking weird, like that deer erased itself from existence. I briefly started to wonder if I was losing it.

When she noticed me looking around, she asked in a hushed voice, "Are you looking for something?"

I cleared my throat and scratched beneath my beanie, looking back over at her. "I saw a deer, and it was letting me touch it."

"Letting you touch it?"

I realized how bummed out I was, now that it was gone. "Yeah, it just… left."

She grinned. "Well, if that ain't the coolest thing I've ever heard…"

Officer Berry spoke, taking a few steps towards us. "I should get you two back home, before we become icicles out here."

Mom agreed, putting her jacketed arm around my back. "Good idea. Let's go, Chloe." I sighed and let her lead me out of the woods, following Officer Berry back to his police SUV.

That encounter with the deer reminded me of how much I needed another pet.

Mom started up the fireplace, while I sipped the mug of steaming hot cocoa I'd finally gotten around to making. My stomach was full of leftover meatloaf my Mom had made the day before. Damn, was I hungry. I'd hardly stopped to breathe through my eating.

Atop the fireplace on the mantle, sat the snow globe that contained a deer. Orange flickering light lit the dark living room, reflecting off of the sliding glass doors, beyond which was more darkness.

It was pretty late; I'd spent the evening watching The Nightmare Before Christmas for the billionth time. David Madsen had gone home a while ago, I guess.

Good.

The flame licked at the sides of the logs, crackling and permeating the air with the pleasant smell of wood smoke. Mom sat beside me on the couch, our backs to the fire, which filled the room with warmth.

"Okay, Chloe." She rubbed her tired eyes. "I know you hate doing this, but we need to talk, darlin'."

Another sip of hot cocoa went down my throat, hitting the spot. I put the mug down on the coffee table in front of us. "Mom, that David guy… I don't have a good feeling about him."

"What makes you say that?"

"He's not Dad."

Mom sighed, pulling the hair tie out of her hair. "No, he isn't."

Speaking of Dad, I was wearing one of his old shirts, which was way too big on me. It still smelled like the cologne he used to wear— probably because I'd sprayed myself with it. Matter of fact, I was spraying it on myself every day just to carry a piece of him with me.

I didn't give a fuck if I smelled like a dude.

She took a sip of her own hot chocolate. "I've been thinkin' about what you said to me earlier, about me moving on too fast."

I hung my head, scratching the back of my neck, hearing quiet murmuring from the tv in front of us.

She continued, "I think you were right… I didn't really appreciate the attitude, but you were right."

I sat up straight and gawked at her, surprised at what I was hearing. "Wait, what?"

"I'm rushing things with David, I realize that now."

"M-mom, 'rushing' is an understatement..."

She looked down at the steaming chocolatey liquid in her mug, holding it with both hands. "Reckon you're right again…" She sighed and put the mug down on the table, looking over at me. "Listen, nobody is ever going to replace your father. I know you're worryin' about that. But… sometimes we need to make room for other people in our lives. I heard somewhere, that we meet around 80,000 people in our lifetimes..."

I picked up my mug and took the last sip of it. The sweet taste of sugar and chocolate at the bottom coated my tongue.

"...How can we expect to be happy if we don't let a few of 'em in?"

A bell went off in my head. I knew why she was interested in David now, it's because she was desperately trying to fill a painful hole in her heart. For once in many years, she was manless, and she pined for that feeling of being with a loving man.

"I guess we wouldn't be happy, would we?" I asked.

She nodded. "I can't really justify wanting to meet other men so soon after your father's passing. I guess, all I can say is… I just don't want to be alone."

"Mom, you're not alone. I'm here."

"I know, sweet pea, but what about after you move out? Get a life of your own?"

"Just because I'm going to leave the nest one day, doesn't mean I'm going to leave you forever."

She smiled. "That's good to hear, Chloe. You'll always be my baby girl."

I grinned through a yawn, and my eyes watered from it. I suddenly realized just how fucking tired I was. Mom noticed it too.

She gently slapped my back. "Well, you best be gettin' to bed. I'm fixin' to crash out myself, just need to let the fire die down."

I slowly stood up and stretched, taking my mug to the kitchen. I put it in the sink, barely seeing with the light from the dying fire. Mom went to the fireplace and poked at the smouldering logs with a fire iron.

She said from in front of the fireplace, "You know I love you, Chloe."

"I love you too, Mom."

I turned in her direction, flicking on the light in the kitchen as I did. "Hey, I'm sorry about running away, and all of that."

She finished with the fire - which was growing dimmer - and came to stand right in front of me. "It's perfectly fine, it's what I signed up for when I decided to be a mother."

She embraced me in a hug, and I reciprocated it.

"About David… you're gonna keep seeing him, aren't you?"

She ran a hand slowly up and down between my shoulder blades. "Yes, but I'll try not to rush things. He's genuinely a good man, and I hope you two can get along."

I could feel my chest vibrate against hers when I spoke. "We'll see about it. I don't really know him, so…"

"I'm still gettin' to know him myself. He's been through a lot."

"Well, whatever makes you happy. I just want you to promise that even if you two fall in love, that you'll never forget about Dad."

"I couldn't forget about him even if I tried."

I went straight to bed after that and had a dreamless night, for once.

MAX:

"Hey, Max, it's Chloe. I tried to call but you didn't answer, so I figured I'd leave a message. Call me back when you get this… Okay, bye."

'Crap, just missed her.'

I had checked my new flip phone after I got out of the shower, as it sat on the desk in my room. It was a bit of an early Christmas gift, Chloe had apparently gotten one just like it. I dried myself off, as I still shivered from the change of hot water to cool air.

Things were going great between her and I, and she was doing much better about her Dad. I didn't really want to take credit for it, but I was definitely the glue that had held her together, even if I was all the way in Seattle.

From the stuff she told me, it sounded like she had changed a little bit. She was still the same Chloe I knew, but her music taste was way different now. I guess she'd gotten into something called thrash metal. The name is self explanatory, you thrash to it.

She told me about a bunch of bands that she was really interested in. There were so many that I'd never be able to remember the names, but I know one of the bands was called Exodus.

I'd tried to listen to some of their stuff on the Internet, just out of curiosity, and I couldn't really follow it. I could see why Chloe liked it though, it suited her personality so well… bold and energetic.

I kinda took her for somebody that would listen to punk rock or something, but I guess not. Her skater friend, Justin, was influencing her music tastes. She told me they would skateboard together and he'd be playing metal music, and she liked it.

I mean, she liked it enough to steal a cd from a record store. That was a surprise to me, it was kinda unlike her. I knew she was mischievous and a bit rebellious, but not break the law rebellious.

I dried myself off some more and threw on the most comfortable pajamas I owned. My room was completely set up the way I wanted it, no more boxes or mess, except for a pile of dirty clothes in the corner.

I'd started to make what I called the "Max Caulfield Photo Memorial Wall," which consisted of my favorite pictures. A lot of them were of me and Chloe, and half of them were pirate related. I'd set up the photo wall right beside my bed, so I could look up at it when I laid there.

For being two days away from Christmas, the weather didn't feel all that wintery. It was raining outside - not very hard, but hard enough to audibly patter against the window by my desk.

I sat down at the desk and flicked on the desk lamp, letting some more light into the dim room. I gently pushed aside my journal, which had a half finished entry inside of it.

I flipped my phone open and returned her call. The deep dial tone sounded in my ear repeatedly, as I got more and more excited for Chloe to answer.

She answered after a few rings; I spoke first. "Hi, I got your message."

"Hey, Maxamil. Merry almost Christmas!"

"Merry almost Christmas to you too, Chloe. Did you get the present I sent you yet?"

"Yep, got it under the tree. Did you get the one I sent you?"

I stretched out my legs underneath the desk, briefly cracking my toes. "Uh huh, I'm waiting until Christmas to open it."

"Nice, you're gonna love it."

"Oh hey, so I talked to my parents about visiting you in Arcadia," I tried to hold back the sound of disappointment in my voice, "and they said they probably wouldn't be able to afford it."

She did not try to hide her disappointment, "Dammit…"

"Yeah, sorry."

She sighed. "I'll talk to my Mom and see if I can convince her to let me visit you over the summer."

"Would she able to afford that?"

"No idea, honestly. If she could, she'd only be able to pay for one plane ticket."

I switched phone holding hands, switching ears as well. "So, you'll fly alone?"

"Yeah, but I'm old enough. Don't worry, I'll be there even if I have to start mowing lawns or something."

"I don't really wanna put you through that trouble," I said, feeling guilty for potentially burdening her.

"It isn't trouble, dude. I would sacrifice all of my time if it meant I'd get to see you."

"I would sacrifice my time too, Chloe. But I mean, are you sure you want to visit me? 'Cause I can try to mow lawns, too…"

She quickly shot down that idea. "Nah, it's cool. It'd be nice to get out of here for a while and see a new place, ya know?"

I flicked off the desk lamp, taking in the ambience of rain outside my window. "You'd really like it here. Seattle is practically made for you."

"All the more reason to go. As if I needed anymore of a reason than you."

Warm fuzziness spread through my cheeks. "Awww, you're making me blush."

Her tone changed from upbeat to almost somber in the blink of an eye. "Hey, Max… there's something I've been needing to tell you for a while. I've been holding back because I don't know how you'll react. Um…"

"Chloe, it's okay. You can tell me. I'm not gonna react in a bad way, whatever it is."

I could hear her take a deep breath. "Remember how we spent the night in the treehouse a while back?"

I sat up straight. "Uh-huh?"

"Uh, when… when you were asleep, I maaaay have kissed you, just a little bit."

My jaw fell open and I was completely speechless. At the same time, butterflies in my stomach took flight.

"You know what? This was dumb, I-I shouldn't have said anything."

"Wait, Chloe. I'm glad you said it, for cereal."

"You are?"

I gulped and stood up, slowly pacing around the room. My heart pounded really fast. "There's something I should tell you, too…" For a few seconds I just let the nervous words form on my tongue. "I have a crush on you…"

'Holy shit, I actually said it.' I bit my lip in quiet anticipation.

"Me too, Max. I really like you a lot. I just think you're really adorable... and kissable."

I sighed in relief, giddy with excitement over the direction our conversation was taking. I nervously chuckled. "I guess I owe you a kiss the next time I see you."

"Damn right you do."

The present she'd sent me was William's old camera, complete with a few packs of unused film. I called her after I opened it and she justified sending it to me, saying her Dad would be pissed if she never used it, but she knew I'd use it.

I put it on the shelf in my room, next to the camera Kristen gave me and the one I had before.

Chloe and I's phone conversations started to get a bit flirtier after a little while, and I couldn't be happier.

Christmas break ended and a brand new year stretched ahead of me: 2009.

I'd been back in school for a few days then, and I met Fernando in the courtyard pickup area outside of the school, after it was time to go home. The weather was actually pretty nice that day: not too hot, not too cold, and sunny. Other kids of various heights and sizes walked all around me in a crowd.

I walked in the same direction everybody else was going: out through the double door exit.

On the courtyard sat a few wooden benches, staggered from the ones on the opposite sides going all the way up from the entrance. Fernando sat alone on one of them, twiddling his thumbs and looking around. As I approached he smiled and waved, as did I, sitting down beside him.

He had on some sort of black leather jacket, wearing a black band shirt underneath it, with tattered blue jeans and skater shoes. An interesting thing about him was that he liked punk rock.

Despite his taste in aggressive music, he had to be the most mellow person I'd ever met, and while I had my heart set on Chloe, I had to admit that he was kinda cute. He had these really long eyelashes that were complimented by an interesting eye color.

Technically, his eyes were light brown, but especially in the sun it was possible to see green rings around the edges of his irises. His skin was more on the tan side, and his face had a very nice shape to it, with a slight dimple on his chin. He was a tiny bit chubby, but nobody's perfect, right?

I wanted to ask him something, and him specifically. Not that I didn't trust Kristen to help, because I really did, but Fernando knew more about what I wanted to ask than she did.

I took a deep, nervous breath. "Fernando, can I ask for your help?"

"Sure, Max."

"I have a crush on somebody, and they like me back…"

He grinned from ear to ear. "Right on! Who's the lucky guy?"

I gulped. "Uh, that's the thing… it's a she."

He spoke through his accent, one I now knew was Puerto Rican in origin. "A she, huh? You said she likes you back, so... What's the problem, then?"

I bounced my leg. "The problem… is that I've never liked a girl before."

"Oh, gotcha. Pretty weird feeling, huh? Realizing you're not as straight as a telephone pole?"

I grinned. "Sure is. I figured you'd be able to help me more than anyone else, because…" I struggled to find the right words to use.

He chuckled. "Because I'm gay? Alright, now I see why you didn't go to Kristen with this. She wouldn't be able to help you, probably."

"But you can, right?"

"I can and I will. So, are you asking me how to date the girl you're interested in?"

I shook my head. "No, I've pretty much got a date lined up with her. What I'm worried about is possibly coming out to my parents, if her and I become a thing."

He ran a hand through his buzz cut, dark brown hair. "You know, judging from the stuff you've told me about your parents, they sound really nice and open-minded. Honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't be worried. I'm sure your parents are going to be perfectly okay with it."

I sighed with relief. "You're probably right, I shouldn't be so scared."

"Hey, I will let you in on a bit of secret. You know how my parents don't get along with me?"

"Yeah?"

"Pues— er, well, the whole reason why is because they're really conservative. They were always talking about how they wanted me to bring a nice girl home, but when I brought a nice guy home, they freaked out. I was holding his hand, and that's what gave it away for them."

"Oh... I'm really sorry," I said, injecting as much sympathy as possible into it.

"It's not your fault. It's their loss, really. I can still remember what they told me: Si vas a ser un mamahuevo, no vamos a ser tus padres… that basically means: If you're gonna be a cocksucker, we're not gonna be your parents."

My voice shook with outrage, "What? I can't believe your own parents would say something like that to you."

He wiped his eyes with his palms and sniffled. "Oh well. Fuck them, I hate them, and I never want to see them again. Anyways, the point I was trying to make was: Your parents cannot possibly react as poorly as mine did."

"Wowser, thank you for sharing that with me," I breathily said.

"Of course. You're a good friend, Max."

"You too, Fernando."

We exchanged smiles.

"So, who's the lucky girl?"

I fluttered my lips. "My childhood best friend, Chloe. You might have a chance to meet her, she's probably gonna visit me over the summer."

"Oh yeah, you've told me about her. I would love to meet her. I'm sure Kristen would too."

"Maybe… we can all get together and do stuff?"

"Hell yeah, we can show her around."

Fernando and I talked for a little while longer until my Mom picked me up.

I'd been home for a little while, and my parents were watching tv in the living room, sitting on the couch next to each other. Anxious thoughts swirled around in my head for most of that evening - thoughts of coming out to my parents.

I walked into the living room, standing behind the couch. On the wall behind the tv, were our framed family pictures.

With a little bit of newfound confidence, thanks largely in part to Fernando, I decided I was gonna tell my parents how I felt about Chloe.

I was still really nervous, though. My heart pounded and my hands were shaking.

"Mom… Dad? Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure, honey. What's up?" Dad answered and paused the dvr'ed tv show they were watching, and they both turned to look at me.

"You know how me and Chloe have known each other for a really long time?"

"Why, of course. You two have known each other since you were knee high." He replied again.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I opened them again. "And… you know how good of friends we are, right?"

"Mhm?" Mom hummed.

"Wh… what if I told you that…" I gulped. "That… I wanted to be more than friends with her?"

They briefly glanced at each other, bearing smiles on their faces.

"We would tell you that we saw it coming," Dad answered with a slight chuckle.

"You… what?"

"Maxine, it's fairly obvious."

"How is it obvious?" I gawked at both of them.

Mom said, "It's obvious in the way you look and act around her. Sweetheart, us adults —Joyce and William included— have practically known since the day you met that you two would be inseparable. Chloe is your soulmate, we're sure of it."

When I was younger, I wouldn't have understood what they were going on about, but it made sense now.

Chloe, who'd carried me home when I twisted my ankle, who'd stayed up with me all night to draw and create stories, who was able to make me laugh and smile like nobody else could. She was the only person able to get me to come out of my shell, she really was my soulmate.

"So then it's true, it has to be… I'm in love with Chloe."

"Good news for you, Zina. The same way you look and act around her, is the same way she looks and acts around you… you're both in love." Dad replied.

Zina was a nickname they used for me from time to time. Maxine, Max, Zina, Zeenie, so on and so forth.

"You really think so?"

He continued, "Yes, behind that mischievous glint in her eyes is a whole lotta love for you. The relationship you have with her is very special, it's rare to be that close to somebody."

'Close' is an understatement. As Joyce would say, we were, 'Two peas in a pod.'

"Remember how I asked if I could visit her?"

"Of course, darling. We're sorry that we can't afford it right now, but in the future we can," Mom said with regret in her voice.

"Actually, you might not have to afford it, because she's gonna try to visit us up here."

Her face lit up. "Well, that would be wonderful! Would Joyce come?"

"I think it'd just be Chloe."

They both loved Joyce's company, and they loved Chloe as if she were their second daughter. Despite the disappointment at Joyce apparently not being able to come, they were no less enthusiastic.

"We can arrange something with Joyce, so that if Chloe does visit, she can stay at our house." Dad suggested.

I said, "It isn't really a question of if, but when she visits, because she's coming for sure."

Mom smiled from ear to ear. "It'd be great to see you two together again."

"Mom, mark my words. Me and Chloe are gonna be together forever."