It's Not Thanksgiving!!!

Credit and thanks to Zairos for the cool minigame! Don't own Mario or any other characters.

This chapter seems to be much longer…

Bowser: This seems to be going great. Good job.

KBF: Thanks..?

Bowser: So, what's-

Jr.: Daddy! Daddy go get the other guys! They made me sick!

Bowser: Ugh. I have no time for this…

KBF: I'm not even involved in any of this!

Bowser: Help me calm these kids down.

KBF: HELL NO!

Bowser: What the hell is wrong with you today?!?

KBF: I'M GETTING WEIRD QUESTIONS EVERYDAY, AND I'M #$$# TIRED OF IT!!! DAMN! AND WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?

Jr.: Umm…nothing…daddy, he's scaring me…

Bowser: I am sooo gonna kick your ass later.

KBF: Oh, PIP-PIP-DE-DOODELY-DOO! Let's get on to the story already…

Everyone was drunk now, or at least moderately drunk, like Peach. As for others, like Wario, Bowser, Mario, Luigi, DK, they were…drunk…

Wario: "Hey, Mario…! I'm-a-gonna…kick your ass in the competition…!

Mario: "Oh, is-a-that so? Kiss my-"

Bowser: "OK, now that everyone's had a drink, let's start this already…" Bowser fell.

Waluigi: "We-heh! Come on, Wario! We'll win big now!"

Diddy: "Hmph. I'll wipe the floor with everyone in this room."

Ludwig: "Roy, how much did zoo drink…"

Roy: "1….or 2…beers…I dunno…"

Ludwig: "Well then, just try to ztay awake, ok?"

Roy: Okie Dokie…

Toad: "Come on, we know the rules already…just get on with it, dammit!

Bowser: "Yeah, Yeah….ok. Who's up first again!?"

Luigi: "Me, you idiot."

And so, the game finally starts. Luigi, a tiny bit dazed, jumps up and hits his dice block. Out sprouts a 4.

Luigi: 1..2..3..4..A question mark?"

Suddenly, a goomba walked up to Luigi, gave him a powerful headbutt, and stole his 1 and only coin!

Luigi: "Aww, come on! Dammit!"

Mario: "Oh hee-hee, ahh ha-ha!"

"Fuck off, Mario."

Whoa! Wasn't that word censored!?

Bowser: "Ok, on to the minigame wheel. Kammy?"

Kammy: "Ok. Here we go."

Diddy: "Whoa, it's my turn now, right?"

Bowser: "After someone's turn, or something, since we have so many people, there will be a minigame."

Diddy: "Oh, ok. Got it."

Kammy: "The minigame is…Turkey Chucker 3000!"

Birdo: "What's that supposed to mean-"

All of a sudden, 7 of the 14 people were teleported to the home plate of a baseball field, and the other 7 on a peculiar moving part of the sidewalk, all the way outside of the stadium.

Kammy: "Okay, here are the rules. The seven of you at home plate will be using the bazookas behind you to launch turkeys. You are the pitchers. Those on the outside of the stadium are the catchers. You have to take the oven-shaped baseball gloves behind you to catch the turkeys. Only the catchers can score this game. Be careful, some are really big, and some are pissed! The small turkeys are worth 1 point, the medium-sized, 3 points, and the big ones, 5 points! If you get a hold of one that's really pissed off, 2 points for you!"

The pitchers were: Daisy, Yoshi, Dixie, Roy, Luigi, Toad, Ludwig and Waluigi. The catchers were: Mario, Peach, Diddy, Bowser, DK, Toadette, Birdo, and Wario.

Yoshi: "Oh…I get it…"

DK: "Ok, then Let's go already."

Kammy: "Ok, then."

Announcer: "GET READY!!!"

Everyone: "WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

Announcer: "GO!!!"

And it was on. The catchers were frantically running in circles, not knowing what was going on. Some slipped due to a moving sidewalk. The pitchers grabbed their bazookas, and BOOM!!! They started to shoot turkeys out of the barrels of the gigantic guns.

Daisy: "Wow, this thing is heavy!"

Toad: "And hard to shoot, too!"

As the turkeys hurdled towards the catchers, they started to panic.

Mario: "Whoa! Mama-Mia!"

DK: "There's a big one!"

Bowser: "Mine! Huuunhh!!"

DK and Bowser leaped for the bigger turkey, only to hit each other and miss the opportunity.

Bowser: "Grrr…Dammit DK!! Get outta my way!"

DK: "You get outta my way!"

Diddy: "I think I swallowed a feather or two…"

Peach: "Hey! I got one!"

Unfortunately, it was a very small turkey. Diddy had already caught a medium-sized one, since he has great acrobatic skills. Seems like he'd win this one. Bowser, Wario and DK went for the big ones, and Mario was going all-around. Toadette was having some trouble. She's not very fast or tough! The score so far:

Mario: 3 Medium-Sized, 9 points.

Peach: 4 Smaller-Sized, 1 Medium, 7 points.

Toadette: 2 Smaller, 1 Medium, 5 points.

DK: 1 Bigger-Sized, 1 Medium, 1 Smaller, 9 points.

Bowser: 2 Bigger, 10 points.

Wario: 1 Bigger, 1 Medium, 1 Smaller, 9 points.

Diddy: 4 Medium, 12 points.

Everyone was having a hard time since they were somewhat drunk.

As for Birdo…she got a turkey that was pissed…but, that turkey was like a demon from hell. It slapped, pecked, and tackled her until it ran her out of there and on her way home.

Yoshi: "YES! SHE LEFT! THANK GAWD, DAMN!"

Dixie: "Ooookaay…I thought you two…"

Bowser: "Oh well. I don't like transsexuals.

Yoshi: "WHAT!?"
Bowser: "Yeah, you didn't know that!?"

"Hell no! Aww gawd dammit…I made out with her one night…."

And everyone fell over, anime style. Back to the game.

A gigantic turkey, bigger than all the rest, was sitting on the side, waiting to be launched.

Waluigi: "Let's use the biggest one last! We-heh!"

Toad: "Yeah, it'll be the finisher!"

Daisy: "I'm just having fun shooting turkeys!

Roy: "I bet you do that a lot, don't you!?"

Ludwig: "I don't get zat, and neizer do you!"

"…Yeah, I guess you're right…"

Yoshi: "Shut up and keep firing dammit!!"

Roy: "You say dammit too much."

Yoshi "How about 'Damn YOU!?'"

Waluigi: "15 seconds! Someone-a-fire the BIG one now!"

Luigi: "I will-a-do it!"

Daisy: "Fine, now hurry! Everyone help load it!"

They all rush to the aid of Luigi, who would fire the turkey himself. Meanwhile…

DK: "Hey, that's the last one? There's still 12 seconds!"

Peach: "What's that!?" She pointed over yonder.

Diddy: "What the-"

Waluigi: "Ok, ready to fire!"

Toad: "This thing is pissed OFF!

Luigi: "Here we goooo!!"

BOOM!!! The giant turkey was fired, leaving all catchers panicking once again.

Yoshi: "ACK! What do we do!"

Bowser: "I'm not tryin' for that thing!"

DK: " Oh, HEEELLL no!"

Peach: "Aaahhh!!! Gotta get away!"

Mario: "Mama-Mia!!!"

Too late. The Giant Turkey pounded the ground with amazing force, crushing the catchers beneath it. Luckily, Bowser's spikes on his shell stabbed it in the ass, causing it to gobble and run, bleeding all over everyone.

Diddy: "Whoa…what…just happened..?"

DK: "We got suffocated…by a turkey's ass…and bled all over..."

Mario: "And I had no protection. Oh well. What are the chances?"

Bowser: "You should know…you do dirty work every-"

Announcer: "FINISH!"

Toadette: "OH MY GAWD SHUT THE FUCKIN' HELL UP! I mean…oh wait. That's what I meant…STOP STARING AT ME!"

Bowser: "Kay….so Kammy, what's the score?"

Kammy: I'll go by highest to lowest. Diddy, Mario, Bowser, Yoshi, DK, Peach, Wario, Toadette.

Toadette: "MUSHROOM FUC-"

Diddy: "Yeah! I won! What do I get?"

Kammy: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place get 20 coins. Yoshi, DK, and Peach get 10, Wario and Toadette get none.

Bowser: "Huuunnhhh! Awsome!" He made a pose.

Mario: "Nice. I'm winning big tonight!" Mario jumped into the air, flashing the peace sign.

Peach: "Good enough for me!"

Wario: "Derrrrr….I'll win the next one!"

Announcer: "WINNER: DIDDY KONG!"

Kammy: "I told them that, dipshit!"

Everyone turned and stared at Kammy yelling at the Announcer. Kammy wasn't one to get angry like this. Was she drunk?!"

Announcer: "Hey..! You…shut up! I don't like doing this job! I get low pay and my voice always hurts from shouting! Watching you all run around doing idiotic things is fun, but not for me! My wife left me! I'm almost out of a job! I'm running out of money, and I have bills and loans to pay off! You don't know how this feels, do you!? HUH!?"

Everyone was already gone, back into the Mushroom Kingdom board.

Announcer: (Sigh) "I hate my life…"

That same day, the Announcer went home, grabbed a chair, wrote a will, and hung himself, right beside the door. He'll always be forgotten. NO FUNERAL FOR YOU!

Back on the game board, it's now Diddy's turn.

Diddy: "Awsome. Hep!" He hit his dice, and out sprouted a 7.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-" He landed on the shop now.

"No coins…oh well. And…7." He landed on a typical blue space. "3 coins for me?"

Kammy: "Actually, it's 6 coins per blue space, and minus 3 coins per red space."

Bowser: "Kammy? No minigame?"

Kammy: "Not for this turn."

Ludwig: "Zen I guess iz my turn now." He jumped and hit the dice block, causing a 10 to sprout.

"One, two, three, four, five, six-hmm. I don't have any coinz…oh well. Zeven, eight, nine, ten. Eh? A Bowser zpace!? Oh, crap.."

Bowser: "Looks like it's a Bowser space! Kammy?"

Kammy: "Yes, your devilishness."

Bowser: "That one sucked…"

Bowser was teleported to Ludwig's space, and began.

Ludwig: "Dad? What are you doing?"

Bowser: "Since you don't have many coins…I'll give ya 10 coins."

Mario: "Turtle bastard. And his son's a turtle bastard."

Ludwig: "Screw you, fatazz."

Bowser: "Good one, heh heh."

Mario: "I'm gonna kick you, and your fat little turtle sons' asses!"

Roy: "Bring it, cumstain!"

Peach: "Hey, hey, HEY!"

The four of them froze, and turned to Peach.

Peach: "Are we gonna get on with this or fight like four little assholes!?" Peach covered her mouth with her hands, suprising herself that she would talk that way.

Bowser: "Yeah…let's move on, I guess."

Meanwhile, Wario headed over to the bar for a drink.

Wario: "Damn, it's almost dead right-a-now! Hey, bartender! Hit me!"

Koopa-Tender: "Comin' up."

Luigi and DK were also there having a drink as well.

Luigi: "I don't know why I'm always on the side…no one respects ME…I'm the brother of the GREAT Mario…I don't matter to anyone! No respect at ALL!"

DK: "Who the hell are you again?"

"That's exactly what I'm talkin' about!"

"Seriously."

"Shut up before I slit your throat."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah! Watch me!"

Luigi broke a bottle over DK's head and tackled him, holding the now broken, razor-sharp half-a-bottle-o-beer close to his neck. He breathed heavily against DK's face, which smelled like rotten eggs, beer and throw-up.

DK: "What the hell are you doing!?"

Luigi: "SHUT UP! Want me to kill you!?"

Daisy: "Luigi! STOP IT!" She tackled him and pulled him away from the now bleeding DK.

Luigi: "Get off me! Let me go!"

Mario: "Luigi! Calm the fuck down!!" Mario slapped him twice across the face.

Luigi: (Pant)(Pant) "Okay….okay…I'm good…fine I'll stop…"(Pant)

Toad: "What the hell got into you!?"

Luigi: "…..I DUNNO!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Toad: "Oh. Ok."

Bowser walked up and looked at the bleeding ape sitting on the ground. His head was busted open, and bleeding badly.

Diddy: "Uncle!? What happened to you!?"

DK was already knocked unconscious when Diddy ran to him.

Bowser: "Ugh…an injury already!? Hey!? WHERE ARE THE MEDIKOOPAS!? GET OUT HERE!"

Then, two Medikoopas rushed in, and laid down a stretcher. They tried to lift DK, but were too weak.

Medi #1: "Umm…sir…re-…requesting some…help…"

Bowser: "You need help…with what…"

"Li-..lifting this ape.."

"Are you cereal…(Sigh) Fine. I of all people have to touch this ass-scratching idiot."

He picked DK up and put him on the stretcher.

Bowser: "I'm not carrying him out. Get more to help you two."

Medi #2: "Um…ok…HEY! NEED HELP IN HERE!"

Then, two more Medikoopas came in to help. They pulled DK up, and headed out of the room.

Bowser: "Any more problems?"

Everyone: "No…"

Bowser: "Good."

Waluigi: "Eh, what happened to Wario?"

Wario was sitting in the bathroom…he was puking all over the toilets. Bowser came in, and…

Bowser: "BUAHAHAHAHA!!! BUUAAAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!" Bowser started to roll on the floor. "He heh, good laugh. …..Ok, now that's just getting disgusting. Ya done yet!? Gotta take a leak!!!"

Wario: "Fine, fine! (Cough)(Cough) I think I'm-a-done…" Wario walked outside to the board.

Bowser: "Finally. Hmm…eww!! This thing's clogged! Idiot…HEY MARIO! GET IN HERE AND DO YOUR REAL JOB!"

Mario: "What!?" Mario walked into the bathroom."

"Toilet's clogged. Do your real job and unclog it."

"Wha-EWW! WHAT THE FUCK!? HELL NO!"

"I'll pay ya."

"How much?"

"30 coins."

"No, 60!"

"What!? For a damn plumber!?"

"You really want to do this yourself, rather-a-than me doing it faster?"

Bowser thought of what he would have to go through. "No. Here. 60 coins."

"Good. Now get out."

Bowser held himself…down there…and started to dance. "I-…I have to go!!! Grrr…!"

"Go somewhere-a-else, dammit!!!"

"Hmph…fine…! aaaaaaAAAHHHH!!!" He ran past the starting space, then into a hallway. He knocked Yoshi down on his way.

Yoshi: "S'cuse you, bitch!!! That was my tail…"

Bowser: "Gotta find one…where is it again!? I can't think!!!! MMMNNNNNMMM!!!! Oh gawd!! I think some leaked out!!" He started to run in a random direction. He almost fell, tripping over his own foot. Then, he found a bathroom, with only one toilet. But, a koopa already went in.

Bowser: "AWW DAMN YOU!!! Hurry up in there!"

Koopa: "Ugh…oh gawd…ohhh gawd…"

Bowser: "EEWW! That makes me have to go even more!!! That's it! I can't take it! Bladder's gonna explode…! Oh, I know!" Bowser prepared for something that definitely would get him out. He took a gulp, then a sniff, and in a high pitched voice, said: "Hey, kids! I'm Mitchel Koopson!!"

Koopa: "Oh shit!! Mitchel Koopson!? Gotta get outta here!! AAAHHHH!!!" He ran out of the bathroom, ran into the gameroom, flashing around his naked-to-the-eye "Koopa Pride", as Bowser calls it.

Bowser danced around in a circle, ready to charge in. Then, another Koopa charged in before him!!

Bowser: " Oh my fucking gawd!!! I'm not gonna make it!!! Forget this!!!" Bowser ran into the gameroom, still holding…down there…the only bathroom open was the women's bathroom, peculiarly placed…

Bowser: "Are you kidding!? I can't go in there!! nnnnnn!!!" Bowser felt every drip of urine slipping away. "That's it. OUT OF THE WAY MARIO!!" Bowser charged into the men's bathroom.

Mario: "Wait, wha?! WHOA!!!"

Bowser shoved him out of the way, sat on the toilet, and began to…go…in front…of Mario…

Bowser: "Ahhhhh…heh heh…huh…?" Bowser snapped back into reality, noticing Mario was kneeling over him…watching him pee…

Mario: "Mama-mia!!!"

Bowser's jaw was halfway open. He was looking around in space, trying to ignore what was really happening. Then, Bowser let out a somewhat loud fart.

Mario: "Mama-mia…" Mario fell backwards, knocked out.

Bowser was speechless. He tried to say something, but stuttered trying. He just got up, went to wash his hands. It was out of paper towels.

Bowser: "Hmm…time to improvise. This'll work."

He used Mario as a towel.

Peach: "Bowser, there's a naked koopa in th-Mario!? What did you do!?"

Bowser: "Umm…diarrhea…?"

Peach was angry. She slapped him hard across the face, causing him to fall.

Bowser: "OW! I'm gonna…gonna…hmph. I get slapped and I can't fight back. Heh, anything for love…"

Peach: "You...love me? Oh, wait…I knew that. Wait a minute…Mario!? What the hell did you do to him!?" Peach, forgetting what just happened (Except the "Love" moment), slapped him once more.

Bowser: "Come on! What are you doing!? Here, I'll wake him up."

Bowser grabbed him by the shirt, walked over to a toilet, and shoved his face in toilet water...

Mario: "M-…huh? Bowser? Eww!! What the hell!? Get-a-off!"

"Fine! I was just waking you up!"

"Hmph. I'm gonna forget what I-a-just-a-saw…too creepy anyways."

"Umm…okay…"

Peach: "What just happened?"

Too long? Too boring? Want more humor and action? Review and tell me! No convo tonight…Bowser and Jr. fell asleep…