MADDIE
"Oh my God…" I heard myself whisper as Charles held the skull like mask to his face. It covered the top half of his face, leaving only his chin and mouth revealed.
"How does it look?" He asked, standing and I could only stare at him. He laughed. "So it has an affect…" I must have looked like some gaping idiot, and I realized it, so I shook it off and shrugged.
"It's…interesting." I said, trying to hide the evidence of the tremor that had gone through my body at the sight of him wearing that mask. He grinned, taking it off to admire it.
"It certainly is," He agreed with me and crouched to pick up the material it had been wrapped in. He handed me the mask, which for some reason frightened the living hell right out of me, and admired the outfit, which was a costume of some sort.
"It's perfect!" He exclaimed and I only looked at him, my eyebrows furrowed.
"Perfect, for what?" I blankly asked and he rushed over to me.
"For the ball!" He said, and when I still stared at him he laughed, "The masquerade ball?" Oh yes, now I remembered. I nodded, feeling the material. It was stunning and must have cost a fortune, just as every suit in this closet must have. The bedroom door opened and Madame Giry was standing there in the doorway, gaping at Charles. Her eyes widened when she saw me holding the mask.
"The closet…" She said as if scolding herself, holding a hand to her cheek.
"Granny, these suits are divine…are you sure you want to give them away?" She coughed.
"No…um…actually I had completely forgotten about those. I cannot part with them." She said, her eyes wide like a child who has just been caught doing something wrong.
"Were they Philippe's?" Charles asked her, and she became even more flustered.
"Er…Philippe…yes! Yes!" She said as if she had found the answer she'd been searching for, but there was still something I didn't understand.
"Madame Giry, if these were your husband's suits, why are they a completely different shape and size than the suits that weren't in the closet?" The fine suits were much longer and seemed to have been tailored perfectly to someone's size. Charles looked at her expectantly and she said,
"Well, people change darling…now come along you two…it's getting dark!" With that she flew from the room leaving us to gape after her.
"She just lied right to our faces you know…" He said softly, but with a smirk and I nodded.
"I know. She doesn't lie, Charles, but she did just now."
We said our goodbyes to her and left. Charles pulled out the costume from the small bag we had taken. In the dimming light, it was a brilliant red, like nothing I'd ever seen.
"It's beautiful…" I whispered and he nodded.
"It really is. Whoever made this is a genius..." He turned to me then, "Maddie, don't tell anyone…I want it to be a surprise." I nodded, knowing full well I wasn't one to gossip. Snow was still lightly falling, but the clouds had broken and you could see the pink of the setting sun stretching across the horizon.
"Are you cold?" He asked me, and I shook my head.
"Actually I am quite comfortable…I can't believe Christmas is only four days away." I said and he nodded, a smile playing on his lips.
"What?" I asked him, and he broke, grinning.
"Nothing…I just can't wait." He said suspiciously and I eyed him.
"Why is that?" I asked, knowing damn well he was up to something. Hell, he always was.
"I just love Christmas…" He said with a chuckle and I raised an eyebrow.
"Yes…and you're not insane…" I said sarcastically, but couldn't hold back a smirk.
"Insanity is a feature I pride myself on…" He said proudly and sat back to admire the red material once more.
"Chagny, I've got my eye on you." I said, and he smiled, whispering what sounded like,
"And I never want to take mine off you…" I looked at him, but he was so calm, I decided I must have imagined it.
"Did you two have fun today?" Raoul asked, coming out of his study after we'd settled back in.
"It was lovely…" I said, remembering the carriage ride. Charles nodded, winking at me. Raoul looked at him.
"Is there something going on here that you two aren't telling me?" He laughed and it came. The blushing.
"No." I said, maybe a bit too quickly, but he laughed at me. "I'm um…going to go lie down." I said, touching Charles's arm before leaving the room and running up to the room I was now living in. I buried my head in my pillow and cried, really not knowing why. Why can't I love anyone? Would I ever be able to love? And one final question: If I couldn't, could I honestly commit to a lifetime of solitude?
"Mama…" I whispered and fell into troubled sleep. We were back at the tavern. I was six again, and I'd just woken from a horrible nightmare. I had to go find Mama, she always comforted me when I had bad dreams. I walked down the hall to her room and heard her voice from inside.
"Please…that hurts…anything else but not that."
"Woman I am paying for this, so I will take what I damn well want!" A gruff voice came, and I began to cry as her screams of horror grew louder. Unable to take it anymore, I pushed the door open and stared in horror at the sight before me. A large drunken man had my mother bent over her headboard as she sobbed. I didn't know what to do. I scream. Mama's head snapped up to see me standing in the doorway.
"Maddie!"
"Maddie…" A gentle voice said, "Maddie wake up please…" I fought against the hands that were gently holding me.
"Get off of her, get off! Mama!"
"Maddie no…wake up…it's me…open your eyes sweetheart." I jolted awake at this command, sweat beading my forehead, my curls stuck to my face. I was shaking, I knew I was, because he was holding me tightly.
"Charles?" I asked, hoping I wasn't imagining him.
"You were screaming, Maddie." He replied simply.
"I'm so tired…" I whispered, laying against his chest as he rested his chin on my head.
"I know…" He said and laid me back down, before crawling onto the bed beside me and wrapping his arms back around me. It was unbelievably comfortable, but I was confused.
"Charles?" I asked him, as to why he was lying in my bed beside me, but he put a finger to my lips.
"Shh…just sleep." As if by command, my eyes closed and I slept.
I dreamt of Mama again, but this time it wasn't a memory and I wasn't six. It was warm, and I was walking through a field. I had no idea where I was, but I didn't feel lost, and then I saw her light hair blowing in the soft breeze. She seemed to be glowing.
"Madeleine…my baby." She said, holding her arms out for me. I gladly ran into them.
"Mama…" I murmured, laying my head on her shoulder.
"My poor Madeleine…why are you so afraid?" She asked, her voice just as lovely as I remembered.
"Afraid?" I asked, looking at her, now eye to eye with her. She nodded and touched my cheek.
"You are afraid to let yourself love my darling…" I began to cry.
"Mama…it's just so hard. All men are the same…they love you and leave you…use you and hurt you." She shook her head sadly.
"No Maddie, not all men are…he's not." She said, pointed behind me and I turned to see Charles standing there, smiling at me, his light green eyes glowing. He wore a beautiful tuxedo with tails and a black cloak which was also blowing in the wind. I looked back at Mama who was smiling.
"You have to let it go, Madeleine. Let yourself be happy. Love him." She said and I clung to her.
"I can't Mama…" I sobbed, "What if he leaves me like my father left you?" I asked her desperately, and she kissed my forehead.
"My sweet Maddie…I loved your father…I ran…" She said, her eyes full with love and loss. Once again she pointed to Charles, who had his arm outstretched to mine.
"Go to him…" She whispered and suddenly disappeared, leaving me to look after her, but surprisingly contentedly, look back at Charles and all his beauty.
I looked down at myself and noticed I was wearing a white gown, not a wedding gown, but a fabulous gown. Instantly, I recognized it. The original costume for Elissa in Act three of Hannibal. I realized now, what Mama had meant. It was time for me to live my life and stop existing and clinging to my shell of a past. I must build my own future, and even if Charles wasn't my future, he was in my present and while I didn't think I was ready for love, I knew I was ready to trust him. I took his hand, and I suddenly woke to a dark room, still lying next to him and listening to his steady breathing. I stared at him for a moment, and realized I had my arm draped across his middle, but I was too tired and too comfortable to care. Unthinking I kissed his warm cheek and fell back into a sound, dreamless sleep.