The Assassination of Frieza Cold
Frieza was getting ready for a day of walking and driving around the planet to his side of the planet anyways, since Cooler owned the other half and King Cold was officially retired.
Frieza wanted to promote propaganda so that he could somehow seem more attractive to people of the planet. However, the people in his district and Cooler's district did not like him at all for Frieza was a joke to them, even if they did not speak about it at all out loud.
Frieza got up on a float that was driven by who else….but Cui! Cui usually loved to do propaganda photos and finances for Frieza, despite the fact that he was stupid enough concerning conspiracy theories and getting Zarbon and Appule into trouble, he loved to do anything that had attention on him. That's why whenever Frieza would call audition for propaganda pictures to put all over the planet, Cui was the first in line and usually got chosen over even the Ginyu Force!
Usually it would be Icey Frieza's cousin who would be driving the float, and sometimes her husband Constantine would stand with Frieza with his many metals and wave to people. However, after Frieza tried to poison Constantine and marry Icey, Cooler granted Icey a restraining order against Frieza…which should have lasted the rest of his life, but it would only go on for a few years before she would have to renew it.
Cui was enjoying the sun and keeping a somewhat low profile since he did not want any "stockers" that would adore him on those posters. In real life though, Cui was just as big of a joke as Frieza was, while Frieza was the one with the iron fist, Cui was no more than an accomplice…that made more trouble for himself and anyone that looked at those dumb posters and could even read them, that is if they were not illiterate!
The parade in the city was a success, nobody booed at Frieza, since they were too afraid to get their heads cut off for doing so. Another option would have been the gallows, spending an eternity in the harem if you were a girl or an attractive enough male for Frieza's taste, since as many times as I have written Frieza was bisexual.
Frieza sniffed the air like there was nothing to lose, "Oh Cui everyone loves me, and they love me much better than last year, this restraining order might not have been a bad thing, but a blessing in disguise!" Frieza said.
Cui rolled his eyes, "Yes it is lord Frieza," he said driving.
All the sudden, a shot went off and hit Frieza in the chest, just barely to his heart! Frieza was rushed to the hospital and admitted for a week or two. Of course nobody was allowed to disclose the place where Frieza was at the time, because of the fear that someone was still out to get him!
Cui was somewhat in shock, after all besides being used to being laser-gunned at during battle or when he was in the palace, Cui had never been shot at, outside of any of those activities.
Zarbon and Appule went to see Cui, since they were his only friends and the only people that had the advantage to tolerate him at all. Cui could be on the annoying side and while Zarbon was able to tolerate that, Appule had to work extra hard to keep his gentle nature as it was….gentle, so that he would not chock Cui while listening to his stupid conspiracy theories or his lame jokes about Appule.
Cui hid under the bed when Zarbon and Appule came into the room, they were not even in uniform at all. They were dressed up as commanders….people that wore the same kind of clothing that everyone else wore while going outside of the palace so that people did not recognize them. Zarbon even had to take his forehead crown off, even though he liked to wear it so that people understood his status, although this did not go to his head when it was not necessary.
"It's ok it's just us, we're here to see you," Appule said putting some tulips on the dresser.
Cui loved tulips and helped Frieza grew them, when they used to be the best of friends. However, Cui no longer respected Frieza, since the day he found out that Frieza first raped Zarbon when he was just a little boy.
After all, Serena Zarbon's mom left Cui to take care of Zarbon, but she died way to soon and eventually Frieza ended up adopting Zarbon as his heir to the throne and made Cui babysit him, way before Appule also babysat Zarbon.
Back toe the present, Cui was still in shock and did not come out from under the bed, "Cui what are you doing under the bed?" Zarbon asked.
"Is it safe to come out?" Cui asked.
"I think so, nobody has any laser guns or anything." Appule said.
Cui shrieked and still did not come out from under the bed, so Zarbon lifted the bed up, picked Cui up and sat him down in a chair by the window.
"Let's get some nice fresh air," Appule said about the open the curtains.
"No way, they could end up killing me!" Cui said.
"I think it was Frieza they wanted to kill, not you," Appule said.
"Even so, I'm guilty by association, I after all handle all the finances for his weapons, solders and even for the torture items that we use on prisoners in case Frieza is extra…."
"Cui relax, now you have to remember that nobody outside of the palace knows that, nobody even pays attention to you," Zarbon said.
"I have been on those propaganda posters many times, how could they not know it was me?" Cui said.
"Trust me Cui, I have been around this planet and I even grew up here, and I believe that there is a small catfish humanoid hybrid community or whatever your species are called, that live here, they are not hard to miss." Appule said.
"Yes unless Frieza already destroyed them," Cui said laughing like a crazy person.
"But Frieza didn't…" Before Zarbon could finish, Frieza who was hiding in the corner came out with his arm in a sling.
Frieza was only shot in the arm with a laser gun, thank God…for him anyways since nobody else really liked him that much, except for Shasha, Dodoria, the Harem girls, and pretty much anyone else that was messed up in the head.
"Frieza you're alive!" Zarbon said.
"Oh damn it!" Appule said.
"What?" Frieza asked.
"I just broke a nail!" Appule said, even though he was clearly wearing gloves.
"Someone tried to kill me, which one of you did it?" Frieza said really angry looking.
"I didn't do it, you pay me huge amounts of cash to put in my bank account," Appule said.
"I have social status as a prince and an heir to the throne of the Cold Empire too!" Zarbon said.
"Yes Zarbon, but you are also my slave remember your true place. I also have raped you so many times as a child, it's only natural that you would want to murder me!" Frieza said.
"Yes you were really cruel to me, and you still are, but the same could be said of pretty much anyone else." Zarbon said.
"What? What do you mean?" Frieza asked.
"Nobody really likes you, I have told you this so many times in my adolescence when my manic-depressiveness had reached its high peaks." Zarbon said.
"I know that nobody likes me, that's not what matters to me though. What matters to me is that people fear me!" Frieza said raising an arm, to the point where Cui ran back under the bed, Zarbon and Appule covered their eyes. Needless to say… they all lived!
Two weeks later Frieza was allowed to leave the hospital, but there was only one problem with that, he did not want to leave, he wanted to stay and yell at the pretty and ugly nurses that took care of him. Frieza jumped up from the bed he was sleeping in and onto the ceiling when his brother Cooler came to take him home…on King Cold's orders.
"I don't want to go home! I'm the emperor of the planet, I have no reason to go home!" Frieza said crying since he was prone to crying like a baby when he did not get what he wanted.
"Oh stop being so silly!" Cooler said flying up to the ceiling, grabbing Frieza and holding onto him tightly.
It took about an hour for Cooler to get Frieza to go home, since Frieza kept resisting, disappearing and reappearing behind Cooler and unsuccessfully trying to knock Cooler out cold, and not to mention that the two had a little bit of a fire spat, but that is beside the point.
Frieza could not sleep the night he returned and thought of an idea, he could ask to sleep in someone else's room with someone he could trust or slightly trust with his life. He didn't think twice about asking his brother or his father because he did not want to look weak in their eyes.
He could not just sleep in Zarbon's room, Zarbon would not let him near him again, not after he spent his youth being raped by Frieza himself. Despite all this that had happened, Frieza backed off of Zarbon and went straight back to having sex with sex slaves, but that did not mean that he did not still find him pleasant to look at. Either way, he could not just go to Zarbon's apartment, Zarbon had a pet cat and Frieza was not an animal person at all, to the point where he hated animals.
Frieza decided to go sleep in Dodoria's room, the first person after Zarbon, that he trusted with his life. Dodoria was not there anyways, he was at the bar in the palace drinking with Shasha. Frieza snuggled in Dodoria's bed, and smelled something awful, he looked in the bed, and there was an unfinished aged sandwich in it!
"Ewww gross!" Frieza said picking it up and throwing it to the other side of the room.
All the sudden, the door opened up, it was Dodoria he went into the room drunk as a skunk. He turned the lights on and saw Frieza in his bed, Frieza smiled, until he looked around the room. Dodoria lived like a pig, he didn't just look like one, act like one, and talked like one, he lived like one too!
"Master Frieza is that you?" Dodoria asked.
"Yes Dodoria it is me," Frieza said.
"What are you doing in my bed? Are we having a sleepover?" Dodoria asked.
"Not anymore we're not!" Frieza rushed right out of the room.
"That's too bad, I would have been happy to have Frieza sleep in my room with me, it would have been a real hon…" Dodoria fell down snoring and as that happened, Frieza continued to look for a room to sleep in.
Frieza decided that sleeping in Shasha's room would be a better idea, surely his room would be more clean. Frieza knocked on Shasha's apartment door and a girl answered the door. It was Miretta, Zarbon's younger half-sister, mistress of Vegeta and of course Shasha's wife and mother of his three children.
She was a pretty little thing, with thick black hair, those nice thin lips, those yellow eyes and of course, that brown skin that she inherited from her mom. Is it no wonder why Shasha chose to live with her and marry her, even though it was illegal for pretty much non-Icejin Changelings to get married while they resided on Planet Frieza, point being Frieza had no idea that Shasha and Miretta were married and would not find out until the next decade or so.
"Frieza what are you doing here?" Miretta asked.
"I want to sleep in Shasha's apartment, would that be ok?" Frieza asked.
"I suppose so, the couch is ready for me to make a bed for you." Miretta said yawning.
Miretta made a couch for Frieza and he lied down on it, at last he had found a place to sleep, now he could get away from those evil assassins that wanted to kill him.
Then, he heard a baby crying, "What the hell is that?" Frieza asked.
"Sorry I have to nurse him back to sleep!" Miretta said running into the room where the baby was in the crib.
"What the hell is going on here? Why are you not asleep bitch!" Shasha asked coming into the living room with a vodka bottle and drinking it straight.
"Oh lord, do I have to listen to this all night?" Frieza yelled throwing a pillow at Shasha and leaving the room.
"Frieza what are you doing in our apartment?" Shasha asked.
Although by that time, Frieza had already moved onto the next person that he trusted less than Zarbon or Dodoria. These people he did not trust at all, in fact the only way he could guarantee safety was by threatening them for a good amount of time. Frieza was in the slave quarters where the low level solders lived, the ones that could not read, were not strong enough and the ones that had no chance of being recruited.
Frieza decided to stay with Raddiz, Nappa and of course their head hancho..Vegeta! Frieza got the sleeping bag from Nappa's closet and put it onto the floor.
"Don't you think it's a little weird that Frieza is staying with us?" Nappa whispered loudly to Vegeta.
"Who care's its an honor," Vegeta said lying and going to sleep in his bed.
As everyone started to go to sleep, there was a huge snort, Frieza jumped. It was Nappa, he had a bad habit of snoring and whacking his Sayain monkey tail in his sleep. Frieza did not want to wake them up, because he was afraid they would kill him, so he snuck out of their room and closed the door quietly. It then became clear to him that asking the Sayains to sleep over was a very unusual habit for him and very suspicious that might make them question his intentions.
Luckily though, he thought of Sayains as being a savage race of monkeys and had them eliminated from the universe…or so what he thought he had eliminated. In fact it was his idea in the long run and while Zarbon disagreed with him at first, after a council vote from Frieza's other generals, it was decided by the other generals that the Sayains would be destroyed. Zarbon's only goal was to tell Frieza about the decision they made and why they made it.
In those days, Sayains were really a threat to Frieza and his power, Frieza made a huge mistake making them his slaves after killing their leader. Zarbon knew how unstable the Sayains were, he knew from stories that were told to him as a child by Appule. Zarbon was not crazy about the way the Sayains treated the non-Sayain solders, nor did he really like their rude, ruthless demeanor. Even if there were any nice Sayains around, it was somewhat rare.
Anyways, to make a long story short, it was a bad idea to ask them to sleep with them for the night, they could have very likely of killed Frieza and Frieza did not think it was a good idea to go to the next dimension, especially since he heard rumors about King Kai being a fat, flabby bug-like mammal that told nasty and stupid jokes and had no sense of humor, or ruthlessness in him
Frieza decided that the slave quarters were more dangerous to hang out in, so he went to the higher up slave quarters where Zarbon and his friends lived. Frieza knocked on Cui's door and then saw a note on it, he grabbed the note and looked at it, reading it to himself.
"Dear anyone who knocks on this door, I am out of town and don't tell Frieza that I am hiding somewhere where the assassins can't get to me. Love Cui kisses and hugs." Frieza said.
"Cui you really are an idiot aren't you?" Frieza said throwing the note to the ground and going for the slave quarters.
He then knocked on Liya's door, Liya Zarbon's childhood friend that was a purple, ant-eater like alien, ex-Carpathian princess and Zarbon's ex-girlfriend. Liya opened the door up and saw Frieza looking up at her.
"Frieza what are you doing here? Am I going to be arrested?" Liya asked.
It was not unusual for anyone to have their door knocked on at night and be arrested, usually when someone knocked on the door no matter where in the palace it was, it would be an indication that it was either your friends who wanted to violate curfew and talk to you. If not that, then it was Frieza's KGB-like men, coming to arrest you and take you to prison, where you would await trial and then execution.
Frieza smiled, "No dear I need a place to sleep tonight, would you like me to sleep over with you?" Frieza asked.
Liya got nervous, she was raped by Frieza when she was a little girl as well, just like Zarbon was raped by Frieza when he was a little boy, which is what slightly bonded them as friends in adulthood. Liya smiled and started sweating like a pig, "Oh its ok Frieza, except my apartment is being fumigated!" Liya lied.
Frieza rolled his eyes, "You know Liya I'm pretty aware that I rub you the wrong way," Frieza said.
"I'm sorry I have no idea what you…" Liya was interrupted by Frieza.
"Fine I'll go sleep somewhere else bitch!" Frieza said smashing his tail into Liya's sliding door, which broke half of the door off before it had a chance to close all the way.
He knocked on Appule's door, and Appule answered it with fear, "Ok fine, just take me away!" Appule said offering his hands for Frieza to cuff.
"What's the problem? I just need a place to sleep is all!" Frieza said.
"Oh sure you can sleep here." Appule said hesitating, but agreeing finally to let Frieza stay with him for the night.
Frieza was once again on a couch since Appule only had one room with a bed in it, the other rooms were the living room with a TV, a kitchen, a bathroom and of course a computer room. He had two couches and Frieza decided the couch in front of the TV would suit him well.
Then the phone rang and Appule answered it, talked on the phone for a while and then got his nurse outfit on and walked to the door, "Wait Appule where are you going this hour at night?" Frieza asked.
"I'm a nurse, I just got called into the rehabilitation Frieza, don't worry I have a curfew pass!" Appule said holding out his pass for Frieza to look at.
Only certain members of Frieza's men could get this pass, not even Zarbon had a hall pass for this late at night. Appule only had a curfew hall-pass because he was a nurse and was needed from time to time in the small hospital inside the palace to work and heal the solders that came back from missions. Other than that, Appule was not allowed to violate curfew.
Appule walked out the door, "Wait Appule don't leave me!" Frieza yelled.
"I have to go to work Frieza, you want your solders to be better don't you?" Appule asked.
"Yes, but I'm terrified! Just stay here with me!" Frieza said.
"I can't I have to go, your orders were specifically that I could not be late or else I am on the chopping block remember?" Appule asked.
"Oh carry on then!" Frieza said waving his hand a Appule.
Appule rolled his eyes and went to work, Frieza was now alone in the dark. Did Appule perhaps house assassins, or perhaps knew anyone that wanted to murder Frieza? In truth, there was no reason why Appule would waste his time trying to murder Frieza, although Frieza would have not known that!
Frieza then decided to turn to his last resort…Zarbon!
Finally after trying to first avoid him, he knocked on his door, and Zarbon answered it.
"Frieza what's the matter?" Zarbon asked.
"I need a place to stay," Frieza said giving Zarbon the sad puppy face.
"Don't you have your own room?" Zarbon asked.
"Yes, but the harem slaves are attending to other solders, and I am having my room fumigated." Frieza said.
"Fumigated?" Zarbon asked.
"Yes there are termites in my room!" Frieza said stepping aside and going to Zarbon's bed.
"I would love to sleep in your bed if you like," Frieza said.
"Uh I don't know if…" Zarbon was interrupted yet again.
"Will you relax, you are too old for me to rape and too strong to let me rape you!" Frieza bellowed out.
Sadly it was true, though despite the fact that Frieza raped Zarbon when he was a little boy, Zarbon had had it with him and stood up to Frieza and threw him across the room after Frieza attempted to have sex with him again. From then on, Frieza dared not try to have sex with Zarbon nor did he attempt to, he just went and took his business elsewhere, rumors have it on Vegeta or on some other poor soul.
Though Frieza was clearly unafraid of Zarbon since he was way more powerful than him, he was afraid that Zarbon would run away and rat on him and join a rebel group…which was clearly made up in Frieza's mind…for now anyways!
Frieza then took his teddy bear that he brought with him all the time while he was looking for a place to sleep, and slipped under the covers. Zarbon did not know what to do, he defiantly stood his ground the last time Frieza attempted to have sex with him, which he was luckily to have survived because he would have either of been whipped or beheaded even for standing up to Frieza like that.
Frieza then looked at Zarbon and smiled, "Oh my God you're not still afraid that I'm going to rape you are you?" Frieza asked almost laughing.
Zarbon then said, "Well do you want to rape me sir?"
"Come on into bed with me, I promise I won't touch you!" Frieza said.
"No that's ok, you can sleep in my bed all by yourself, I'll just sleep on my couch." Zarbon said.
He then shut the door to a crack but then slightly opened it back up and asked Frieza, "Do you need anything like water or milk?" Zarbon asked.
"Do you have any wine coolers?" Frieza asked.
"No sir I don't drink that much," Zarbon said.
"Fine then I'll just go to bed, good night old friend!" Frieza said, even though Zarbon was clearly in his mid to late twenties, though he looked like he was right out of high school or something that odd, except he was too muscular to be considered…oh never mind!
Zarbon went to the couch to sleep on it, he got his pillow, blanket and a stuffed alien toy that Appule bought for him on his 7th birthday. He had had that blanket since childhood, because his mother made it for him before she dropped him off on Planet Frieza. He was only three at the time, and she never came back for him, because of her premature death.
Anyways as Zarbon was about to sleep it off, Blacky his cat jumped onto his chest and looked him in the eyes.
"Hello Blacky what's going on?" Zarbon asked.
The cat was no ordinary cat of course, he was a familiar spirit that was born into the body of a physical kitten that Appule happened to find and give Zarbon for his eighteenth birthday. The spirit was sent to the body of the kitten in the womb of the mother by Zarbon's mother for protection, the cat's spirit was originally Zarbon's mom's familiar spirit, which the previous life before was born into a body of a bird.
Anyways to make a long story short, Zarbon could talk to this cat, and the cat could talk back, but since he was born into the body of an actual cat and not a cat that was really a demon in disguise or something that odd, he could communicate telepathic with Zarbon, for the reason that Zarbon was in fact telepathic since childhood and the fact that Zarbon did some sorcery on the side.
Blacky would give him assistance, so he would be protected and be safe from anything that he had to conjure up for Frieza to fight. When Zarbon found out that he had great ability to use sorcery for the purpose of conjuring not demons, but aliens up from other planets so that future recruits could fight them and practice on them, Frieza was excited and decided that Zarbon was more important than just a warrior or a general, or the heir to the empire.
Although sorcery was clearly illegal on Planet Frieza, Zarbon had special mercy granted to him, for Frieza's selfish reasons of course.
Blacky then closed his eyes and telepathically thought to Zarbon in his thick British accent, "Zarbon why is he staying here? Do you realize how much that man has hurt you and caused you pain?"
"Yes Blackly I know that, but what am I supposed to do, just kick him out? He might have me beheaded," Zarbon said telepathically since he certainly did not want Frieza to overhear him talking to his cat, he would look almost nuts to him.
"Better than living a slave under him right?" Blacky asked when he started licking his paws.
"I have thought about running away, but the last time that happened it did not work out so well. Frieza had me whipped on the back and it took weeks for my sores to heal up. On time he set me on fire, and it took months for my old skin to replace my damaged skin, I always almost have to wear these stupid leg and arm warmers just to cover those burns up until they heal over completely." Zarbon thought to Blacky.
Blacky looked at Zarbon with pity in his eyes, "He's cruel to me yes, but what more can I do? I'm not an immortal by any chance, I'm very fragile." Zarbon said telepathically.
"Never mind, we'll talk about this some other time," Blacky said as he shut his eyes and went to sleep on Zarbon's chest.
End of Part 1