Oh Lusty Perversions
Icey, Frieza and Cooler's cousin came home from a ball held by a local duke. Her husband Constantine did not attend, he was too busy working on battle strategies for Frieza. She got out of the carriage and in her ball gown and waved to the carriage, "Thank you so much!" she yelled to the top of her lungs.
A little background on Icey, she was stunning for an Icejin Changeling, however she suffered from Tourette syndrome, and it was common in the Cold family due to so much incest in the past. Other ailments that occurred was other neurological defectives, madness, debauchery and Frieza suffered from seizures.
Though Icey was one of the few Colds that suffered from being tyrannical, oh how she used to yell to the top of her lungs, cursing the sky, full of temper tantrums, emotional outbursts and inappropriate giggling. Oh how she was a complete embarrassment to the court. People would laugh at her and make fun of her and it made the Cold family look twice as bad. Even the Colds made fun of her.
However, it was being treated well, so it did not bother her as much as it used to. Anyways, she went to her room and started to undress, she took her dress off, her corset and took her hair down, her hair was so curly, she was blessed with curly hair and it was so purple. It was long and some of it was wavy.
Little did she know that in another room, somewhere a couple of ways down the hallway, Frieza was watching her…on camera! He had a camera installed in her room, the room she shared with her husband Constantine. Frieza usually hated Icey and was the last person you would suspect of spying on her through a camera.
He had a temporary restraining order against him given by Cooler, when Frieza attempted to assassinate her husband at a ball. This order would not last long, in fact it was almost up. Either Icey would have to renew the order, or let it go. Cooler did not keep track of it, he was too busy and could care less when the order was up.
What Cooler failed to tell Frieza was that he was in charge, sometimes of turning the camera room light off. Cooler went to do his every once in a while routine, he went into the camera room and was shocked by what he saw, but not surprised.
"Frieza what the hell are you doing?" Cooler asked.
Frieza tried to cover the camera up that was showing Icey getting undressed, "Uh, I don't know." He says in a voice that shrilled the room.
"Let me see, we're brothers after all." Cooler said.
"No, we're half-brothers remember?" Frieza said.
Cooler threw Frieza off the camera and blushed deeply looking at Icey naked on the camera. He then shut the camera off.
"I'm telling father," he said.
"No, don't do that!" Frieza said.
"You know that incest isn't the best way to procreate right?" Cooler said teasing Frieza.
"Who said anything about having sex with her, let alone procreating with her? I fantasize about it all the time!" Frieza said, he shrieked and covered his mouth.
"I won't tell if you won't look at her again." Cooler said.
"I promise I won't do it again!" Frieza said…lying!
He was caught again a few nights later and it ended with an argument, "Incest is what lead to Alexei of Russia getting crippled!" Cooler said.
"I'm sure he was actually hemophilic, like second cousin Antilla," Frieza said musing in Cooler's lack of human events.
Sometimes, talks of human disasters came up, after all Frieza admired the human race for its intolerance and violence. Sometimes these talks came up in comparisons, or sometimes as jokes. Anyways, Frieza would sometimes read human history and try to come up with military tactics and events to show to the generals. Those humans were ruthless, but they were also capable of being clever.
"Whatever, I don't give a damn, you have to stop this lusting ok?" Cooler said.
"No!" Frieza threw a fireball to the wall where Cooler was standing, he then crawled on the wall and jumped down in the doorway and ran the hell out of there.
Cooler shook his head, "I must now call for drastic measures.
What was were these drastic measures one might ask, well he did not tell their father what was happening that was for sure, as the Cold family suffered enough from infamy and debauchery. Instead, he went to the only person that he thought Frieza might listen to…Zarbon!
Cooler called Zarbon into the throne room and Zarbon was bewildered as to why this was so.
"So you wanted to see me?" Zarbon asked looking confused.
"Zarbon, something has come up, you know how months ago Frieza was given a restraining order to stay away from our cousin Icey?" Cooler asked.
"Yes I remember," Zarbon said.
"Well he hasn't been doing a great job of it, in fact he has been admiring her from afar, a little too much admiration if you ask me." Cooler said.
"What do you mean?" Zarbon asked.
"Let me whisper it to you," Cooler said looking around.
Zarbon went up to Cooler and Cooler whispered the dreadful information, "Oh my God! That's disgusting!" Zarbon said backing away.
"I know, the Cold reputation is at stake if Frieza chooses to continue to lust for Icey." Cooler said, although the reputation of the Cold family wasn't good anyways.
"What do you want me to do about it?" Zarbon asked.
"I want you to talk to Frieza, he needs help, and he needs someone who might be able to sway him into the other direction." Cooler said.
"Why me?" Zarbon asked.
"You haven't probably noticed, but you are easy to talk to, you understand things better than most people. You are smart and very observant, you stand there quiet and observe, or you comment when you are needed to. Why wouldn't anyone want to talk to you for? Because he trusts you the most, he legally adopted you as his own, and you are the heir to the empire." Cooler said.
"That didn't stop him from sexually abusing me all those years!" Zarbon said furious.
"I know it didn't, but he doesn't really sexually abuse you anymore now does he?" Cooler asked.
"Doesn't make it ok, but I will see what I can do." Zarbon said.
The first thing Zarbon thought to do was go to Appule for support, but the only support he got was this, "No way! I am not going to get involved with this family drama! As if you weren't already involved enough in this stupid drama." Appule said.
"I'm not asking you to get involved, I just need someone to talk to about this." Zarbon said.
"Why not try to convince Icey to stay away from Frieza, if you try to talk to Frieza about it, who knows what could happen. I can't begin to tell you how many men he has killed or put in the hospital trying to tell him the truth." Appule said.
Zarbon gulped, he was raised to fear and obey Frieza, that's all he knew. Being raised by this tyrant had hardened him and made him very picky about who he trusted, and made him hate the idea of sex. The only real people he trusted besides Icey was Appule and Cui, they never tried to harm him like Frieza did.
Zarbon then decided to go to Icey's house for tea, you see she had a cottage out in the woods and went there to get away from the politics and fancy balls. She was glad to see Zarbon, as they were good friends and allies.
Zarbon looked at the tea pot wondering how he was going to convince her to stay away from her cousin, "Is something wrong Zarbon?" She asked.
He looked up and smiled like nothing was wrong, "No not at all, but I do have one concern," Zarbon said.
"Before you think about telling me what you need to tell, nobody hardly comes to visit me, I wonder why that is." She asked.
Zarbon felt kind of badly for her, she did not have very many friends, he knew what that was like. Her Tourette's did not help matters, and the only real friends she had was her husband Constantine, Zarbon, Appule, Cui, Alice an ex-girlfriend of Appule's.
Then there was Zarbon's ex-girlfriend was crazy and got crazy jealous whenever Zarbon was near another woman, especially Icey of all people, because Icey was stunning and talkative.
He sighed, "Icey I am glad that we would have tea, but we need to talk about something important."
"What is so important? Is my English bad? It's been a long while before I studied the Icejin Changeling language, it's almost been lost to me for years." She said.
"No not at all dear, it's just that your safety is my concern." Zarbon said.
"Oh really?" she asked sitting down and putting a plate of biscuits on the table.
"You see, Frieza, he is…" Before Zarbon could finish a call came into play.
"I will be right back, I have to get that." Icey said.
Phew, that took some pressure off of Zarbon…for now! As it turns out, the call did not last long, and she sat back down.
"Wrong number." She said.
"It happens," Zarbon said.
"What were you going to tell me about Frieza?" Icey asked.
"Well, he got a restraining order from you and it's about to end. So he might try to come around and, uh how do I put this delicately? He might try to come around and do nasty stuff to you." Zarbon said.
"I figured he won't find me out here." Icey said.
"Well he knows where you live and what you do in the privacy of your own home." Zarbon said.
"How dare you Zarbon! You pig sucking bastard get out! Get out!" She said grabbing the table cloth and ripping it from under the tea and bisects. Zarbon was shocked to see her this way, he was confused, was it her Tourette's perhaps? Was he being too tackles?
She looked at him and boy did he look sad. "I'm sorry Zarbon I didn't know what gotten into me, it must be my Tourette's again." Icey said.
"No it's all right, I was leaving anyways," Zarbon said about to leave a little hurt.
"No don't leave I didn't even remember what you said, I must have fallen into a rage that I forgotten what you said, can you please tell me?" She asked.
"There isn't anything to tell," Zarbon said.
"Take some biscuits with you," she said getting some biscuits and putting them into a bag.
"Thank you, perhaps we can do this some other time?" Zarbon asked.
"No, I want you go leave you - sucking bastard!" She said.
"Icey, really?" Zarbon asked as he leaved the house. Boy he was glad to get out of there, she must have not taken her medication or something. He did feel badly for her, but sometimes she was too much for even him.
The next task was going to try to convince Frieza to stay away from Icey, but how was that going to happen? Well we could start by saying that Zarbon went to Frieza's quarters, and he was afraid to go there, but what could be done?
Zarbon knocked on the door, and the slide doors opened up, "Come on in!" Frieza said.
Zarbon walked into his room, and he saw something really disturbing, photographs that he developed of Icey naked and undressing. "Isn't she a beauty? How would you like her to be your new step-mother?" Frieza asked.
"No thanks, I mean Frieza I need to talk to you," Zarbon said.
"What is it? I'm all right, did Cooler put you up to this?" Frieza asked.
Zarbon was lucky that Frieza was not telepathic, because he was thinking…yes.
"Uh well, that's what I came to talk to you about, Frieza you have to stop this nonsense. There are other girls out there, this is your cousin and incest is very bad." Zarbon said.
"I want to rape you for saying that to me, you know that right?" Frieza said.
Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Sure you do, especially after the time I threw you against the wall when you tried to touch me! I'm not afraid of you anymore Frieza, and I came to tell you that!" Zarbon said.
"You will fear me, I might have lost sexual interest in you, but that doesn't mean I won't beat you and torture you!" Frieza said walking up to the much taller Zarbon and sulking.
"Frieza for once I am trying to help you, I don't think this obsession with Icey is working out for you." Zarbon said.
"She is mine Zarbon and you can't tell me any different!" Frieza said.
"She doesn't feel the same for you Frieza, this obsession is wrong and very…" Zarbon then lost the will to talk anymore. He could be harder than a rock, but when it came down to it, he was very weak-willed.
"What?" Frieza asked.
"I have to go, bye!" Zarbon said running out of the room.
Zarbon was in the bar with Cui and Appule, he was drinking a martini and he was not much of an alcoholic, and he was smoking a cigarette and he was not much of a smoker either. He was so stressed that he took to smoking and drinking at this time.
"This isn't you Zarbon, you usually take great care of your body and you aren't doing it justice." Appule said.
"I tried to tell Icey that Frieza was after her and she threw a temper tantrum, I try to tell Frieza to stay away from her, and I lost the will to." Zarbon said.
"So you get messed up because of this? As a registered nurse, I find this appalling." Appule said.
"He's just stressed out is all, you don't need to be a registered nurse to figure that one out." Cui said teasing Appule.
"Is it too late to slap you?" Appule asked.
"Ok stop it guys, this isn't helping. Another martini please!" Zarbon said pounding his fist on the table.
"That's too much Zarbon," Appule said.
"I'm a big guy, I need more than one to get super wasted!" Zarbon said.
Well the next day it lead to a hangover and Zarbon regretted everything. He was so wasted that he could hardly get out of bed and he threw up all over his sheets while Appule nursed him and sat by his side, like a true friend.
Cooler called upon Zarbon over the intercom, Appule went instead of Zarbon. Cooler was surprised when Appule came into the throne room.
"Why are you here, I did not ask for you." Cooler said.
"Zarbon was so stressed out that he had 5 martinis, and three cigarettes. He has a hangover and can't even get out of bed. Show some compassion, why don't you?" Appule said.
"Compassion, yah right! I asked him here so that he can talk Frieza out of putting a hidden camera in Icey and Constantine's bathroom." Cooler said.
"Why does Frieza want to do that?" Appule asked.
"He wants to see Icey pee and poop. Either way his perversions are getting out of control." Cooler said.
"How is Alice doing?" Appule asked.
Appule had not seen Alice since that incident when Zarbon ran away, she was still angry with him for not standing up for her when she was being raped by some of Frieza's solders. She was still in the harem doing stuff for Cooler and Frieza, she was still alive, but now she did not want to see Appule. How unfortunate it was that Appule fell for a harem girl.
"She doesn't want to see or talk to you." Cooler said.
"Look I'm willing to take one for the team and even risk my life for Zarbon. I will talk to Frieza myself and suggest to him to stop this nonsense." Appule said.
"Ha! Good luck, you might end up as ashes and dust." Cooler said laughing.
Appule then went to Frieza, Frieza opened the sliding doors to his room.
"Appule what are you doing here?" He asked.
"Frieza we have to talk man to man. Is there a possibility you could stop spying on your cousin, it's just not in good taste." Appule said.
"Excuse me, who do you think you are my mother?" Frieza asked surprised that this nurse was challenging him.
"Look, there are other women to spy on, but Icey shouldn't be one of them, your brother is really concerned for you even though he hates you." Appule said.
"You dare to challenge me! You are going to be punished and I mean punished!" Frieza said.
So that night Appule came back to Zarbon's room and had whip marks on his back, Zarbon was feeling a little better by then, and he saw blood dripping down Appule's back.
"What happened to you?" Zarbon asked.
"Frieza had me whipped, as it turns out Cooler wanted you to tell Frieza to not install a camera in Icey's bathroom. I took one for the team, I went to Frieza myself and told him not to, and he had me whipped as punishment." Appule said.
"You are lucky that's all you got," Zarbon said.
"As it turns out, he still needs me in the hospital." Appule said.
"How could you be so careless, he could have killed you?" Zarbon said.
"Because I like being your friend, that's right it was no accident that I applied for that babysitting job years ago, when you were little. I needed a job, and I liked kids enough to babysit for you. Now you have grown to be my friend, and even though a lot of people don't talk to you because you are so vain, I think there is more to you than being vain." Appule said.
"What are you saying?" Zarbon asked.
"I like the person you turned out to be, you aren't as brutal as a lot of Frieza's solders. I like how intelligent and somewhat kind you are to me and Cui. Liya no offense turned out to be unstable and Shasha, well he's a loss cause. I don't understand how you keep your temperament to a level that isn't so…brutal." Appule said.
"Wow, I really don't know what to say, but you did this all for me?" Zarbon asked.
"Yes I did, just be thankful and be thankful that it wasn't you that got whipped this time." Appule said, then he passed out on Zarbon's floor.
"Appule!" Zarbon said.
Zarbon then picked Appule up and took him to the table and looked at his wounds.
"Blacky get me a sponge!" Zarbon yelled.
Zarbon's black cat Blacky went to get the sponge from the sink and took it to Zarbon. Blacky was no ordinary cat, Blacky was a familiar spirit born into the body of a cat meant to look after Zarbon sent by Zarbon's dead mom. He was given as a gift to Zarbon by Appule on Zarbon's eighteenth birthday, he could communicate telepathically with Zarbon. Thus making him more intelligent than the average cat.
Zarbon wetted the sponge and patted down Appule's bloody back. Something needed to be done to get Frieza to stop lusting over his cousin. He had gone too far this time.
The camera ended up being installed in Icey and Constantine's bathroom…by Shasha! Frieza gave Shasha a key and while Icey and Constantine were not home, Shasha snuck into the bathroom and put the small camera at the top of the toilet. While this was happening Cooler caught note of this and summoned Zarbon to his throne room when Zarbon was fully recovered.
"I have a mission for you to go on Zarbon, I need for you to go to Icey and Constantine's bathroom to look for a small camera that was situated above the toilet." Cooler said.
"Why me? Why not one of your men? Why not Sauza?" Zarbon asked.
"Because I asked you to do it, now don't argue with me think of a way to get in and out of there." Cooler said.
Zarbon thought of an idea, he thought that maybe he could talk Icey into giving him a tea party in her quarters. However, Zarbon was still kind of iffy about it since the time Icey had that outburst not too long ago.
When Icey was at her quarters, Zarbon phoned her.
"Hey Icey, I say we get together and talk at your quarters, how does that sound?" Zarbon asked.
"As long as we don't talk about cousin Frieza, ok?" Icey asked.
"Right I won't say a word." Zarbon said.
So the tea party was on, Zarbon went to Icey's quarters and Icey opened the sliding door for him. Zarbon had a small microphone in his ear for Cooler to communicate with him through. There was not another option, Cooler was not telepathic, so Zarbon couldn't communicate with him telepathically.
"Come in second cousin, let's have a great time shall we?" Icey said.
So they had a tea party, green tea was at the center of it all, biscuits were there too. Zarbon sat there and thought of a way to ask to go to the bathroom.
"Uh Icey, I think I need to go to the bathroom, is that ok?" Zarbon asked.
"Of course silly, it's right over there. Now before you go, I need for you to remember to flush the toilet and spray some disinfectant spray. I don't want the bathroom smelling disgusting and I can't begin to tell you how many people on this planet forget to flush the toilet!" Icey said.
"Yes princess Icey, madam." Zarbon said politely.
Zarbon then went into the bathroom and looked for the camera, he got onto the small microphone in his ear.
"Cooler I can't find it, where is it?" Zarbon asked.
"How should I know, I wasn't there when Frieza had it installed," Cooler said.
"I wasn't either, I didn't ask for this." Zarbon said.
"You don't have a choice, you may be adopted by Frieza, but that doesn't mean you are free to do what you want." Cooler said.
"Now look you, I take orders from Frieza, not necessarily from you!" Zarbon said getting a little angry.
This whole situation was dumb, and it was not making Zarbon happy, it was embarrassing is what it was. Zarbon wanted his dignity back, and he was not getting it from looking for a damn camera installed in the bathroom.
"Don't you dare take that tone with me!" Cooler yelled into the microphone.
"Ouch, my ear!" Zarbon said.
"What's going on in there, are you talking to your poop?" Icey said.
"Uhhh, well, it's complicated." Zarbon yelled.
"Well hurry up in there, I need to go too!" Icey said.
"Oh no, she needs to go to the bathroom what do I do?" Zarbon asked.
"Just get out of there and abort the mission until she's finished, just say you have diarrhea." Cooler said.
"I have diarrhea Icey!" Zarbon said.
"No, wait until she's done going to the bathroom to say it. Jesus Christ are you that stupid?" Cooler asked.
Zarbon then said, "No, I…"
"You're breaking up," Cooler said as the microphone was breaking up.
"Hurry up I really need to go!" Icey said.
"I'm aborting this mission!" Zarbon said flushing the toilet.
"What are you talking about in there?" Icey asked.
"Time for plan B!" Zarbon said.
"Zarbon open this door up right now, I need to go!" Icey said.
Zarbon opened the door, oh crap he said he had diarrhea and he forgot to spray the spray to make it more convincing! However, Icey was so puzzled by Zarbon supposedly talking to himself that she forgotten the idea that he would spray the disinfectant spray to cover the smell up. She was also distracted and hopping around because she had to go so badly.
"Get out of my way!" She yelled going into the bathroom.
Then it came…the lecture! Zarbon sat at the table and looked down and was completely embarrassed that he ended up talking a little louder than he wanted to.
"How dare you talk like that in front of a lady, weren't you raised better than that? You are one of the most proper people I know, what happened to you?" Icey asked.
"Yes madam," Zarbon said looking down.
"Next time when you go to the bathroom, keep your mouth shut!" Icey said.
"Yes madam." Zarbon said.
The plan failed, Zarbon not only let Cooler down, he let Icey down. There had to be another way to get that damn camera out of there. Zarbon could have easily told Icey that he still needed to go to the bathroom, but he knew now that that was kind of impossible since he needed the microphone to communicate with Cooler.
That evening Zarbon took out a book to read. Then someone came and knocked on the door, "Who is it?" Zarbon asked.
"It is I Shasha!" Shasha yelled.
"Fine, come in." Zarbon said.
Zarbon went to the door, took his key and put into the lock, which would ensure that the sliding door slid open. The sliding door opened and Shasha entered.
"Where have you been? Frieza wants you to come to dwarf tossing tonight." Shasha said.
Zarbon was not a huge fan of dwarf tossing, he thought it was more stupid than it was fun to watch. Dwarfism was not uncommon in the Icejin Changeling race, they were usually kidnapped from their villages and used for cruel entertainment. On top of that many poor Icejin Changeling dwarfs had died hitting the floor when people couldn't catch them in time.
Zarbon had seen enough death doing his job conquering planets, advising Frieza to destroy this planet or that planet, not that he was the only one to do so, and after all he was on a counsel of nine generals. The nine would usually vote together and Zarbon was the one who had to deliver the vote to Frieza. Most of the time they would vote yes, just to avoid the wrath of Frieza.
Sometimes Frieza wanted to destroy a planet and told Zarbon, Zarbon would tell the counsel and they would consider Frieza's wishes and Zarbon went back to tell Frieza about it. There was no denying Frieza's wishes if he wished to destroy a planet. That's half the reason why Planet Vegeta was destroyed, Frieza wished it, Zarbon told the counsel and told Frieza the council voted yes.
Back to the present, Zarbon just shook his head and said, "Shasha you know that I think that dwarf tossing is stupid. Doesn't Frieza have anything better to do than satisfy his own ego by tossing people even smaller than him. You know that's why he loves dwarf tossing right?"
"Who cares why, it's so funny to watch them fly up into air, especially if they cannot levitate. Tonight is Feast of Saint Bartlett! You have to come!" Shasha said.
"Feast of Saint Bartlett? Oh shit, I forgotten!" Zarbon said slapping his hand on his head.
The Feast of Saint Bartlett had begun, Saint Bartlett was a saint who was burnt at the stake for simply asking for the colonization of the planets in the universe. He was remembered as a hero by the Cold Family who two hundred years later realized how "right" this individual had been, and therefore made a festival in his honor. It was more or less a huge excuse to party through the night!
Even though the majority of people on the planet were atheists, there were still pre-atheist festivals celebrated, it was just part of the planet's culture really. Everyone wore masks that a pagan would wear at a straw burning. If it wasn't a ball that was in place or a masquerade party, then it was a pagan party. Everyone before entering the dining room, blessed the icon of Saint Bartlett.
That night, all the cliques came to the fest, except the low-level solders, who were either out on missions, or for the fact that they meant nothing to the higher level solders. Starting with the royals Frieza, Cooler, King Cold, Icey and her husband General Constantine. Zarbon would be a part of the group…had Frieza looked at him more as an actual adoptive son than a slave.
The other "cliques" were the Sayains, they preferred the company of other Sayains instead of the company of other alien species. There were the brutes, which included Dodoria and Shasha, Zarbon hated both of them and wanted nothing to do with them. There were the top concubines, whom Zarbon avoided at all costs, except talked to Appule's ex-girlfriend concubine Alice every once in a while.
Zarbon was a part of the intellects, which consisted of Appule and Cui. Zarbon was a part of this group based on the fact alone that Appule and Cui used to babysit him for Frieza. He also trusted the both of them, compared to the other cliques. Appule was a nurse and Cui was a mathematician. Zarbon was a foreign language expert, diplomate, general, and soothsayer thus perceived by the other cliques as an outcast, due to his major intellect and eccentric ways of dressing and acting.
Cooler's men did not come to the gathering, they were on missions, Liya Zarbon's ex-girlfriend didn't come either, had she come, she would probably hang with the intellect group.
The festivities began, with the concubines in leaf-formed masks belly dancing, after that the dwarf tossing began. All the dwarfs ran to the floor excited, they all wore wolf and fox masks. Frieza went onto the floor in front of everyone, grabbed a dwarf and threw him up into the air. Shasha and Dodoria laughed with glee as Frieza caught the dwarf. It was Cooler's turn to toss a dwarf and so he did just that.
After the dwarf tossing, they took out a straw figure of an elephant, which was said to have been Saint Bartlett's favorite animal. Shasha, with his rabbit mask on got up, lit the thing on fire, and everyone watched it burn. They brought out a straw goat, which Dodoria in a bull mask, set on fire. Everyone danced around, danced with each other, while Zarbon just sat there bored.
After the dancing, the feast began, pig, beef, lamb and crocodile were brought out to eat. Zarbon was at the table with Cui and Appule, Zarbon was wearing a gold deer mask, Appule was wearing a bear mask, and Cui was wearing…a lizard mask. The masks were covered with gold, silver and even bronze colored. Zarbon looked over at Appule and Cui, "Guys I think now is the time where I ask Frieza to leave Icey alone."
Appule then shook his head, "No I don't think that's a good idea Zarbon, we're in public and it might be a better idea to tell him in private, you see where I'm coming from?"
"No, not at all, he needs to be put into his place." Zarbon full of guts that night, got up and walked over to the royal's table.
Appule yelled after Zarbon, "You'll get whipped! God why didn't he listen to me?"
"Cause you're ugly that's why," Cui said teasing Appule.
Icey looked at Zarbon with her golden ram mask on, while Constantine looked at him with his bronze goat mask on, "How are you enjoying the Festival of Saint Bartlett?" Icey asked.
"I guess I'm having a good time, still think dwarf tossing is stupid." Zarbon said.
Frieza looked over at Zarbon, with his golden lion mask on, "Are you kidding me? Dwarf tossing is the best!"
Cooler began to laugh and looked at Zarbon with his silver and gold stroke mask, "Zarbon you need to lighten up and enjoy the party! This is in memory of Saint Bartlett for Christ sake! He died so that we can conquer planets!"
Zarbon wanted to say something to Frieza about his perversions to his cousin Icey, but something told him not to. It wasn't his conscience at all, it was something a little different. He felt his stomach ache and it was growling with pain.
"Holy Hell!" Zarbon said.
"Zarbon will you watch your language!" Frieza asked.
"I'm fine, I'm fine, I just came over to say hi was all, oh!" Zarbon said rubbing his stomach, leaving the table and going back to the intellect table.
"So how did it go?" Appule asked.
"I didn't have the heart, or the stomach to do it. I mean literally my stomach is killing me!" Zarbon said.
"Come to think of it, mine is too, I wonder if there is something going around?" Cui asked.
"I think it's the crocodile I ate, I thought it looked raw, and I ate it anyways!" Appule said.
That night, Saint Bartlett's Feast became infamously known for a different reason, as it turned out, everyone got food poisoning. Everyone either ran to the bathroom during the ceremony or ran to the bathroom after the ceremony. Everyone either threw up, had horrible diarrhea or both.
It was Nappa's turn to taste the food for poison, he of course was sick from the food poisoning and ran out of the festival as fast as he could before he could officially approve the food. The cook thought that maybe everything was ok, so he sent the food out. None of these foods were prepared properly, and of course the cook was executed in the morning.
As for Zarbon trying to convince Frieza to stop perverting on his cousin, nothing was accomplished. It became a "if I don't have her, nobody can" situation. However, Frieza granted both Constantine and Icey the mercy of exiling them to the far side of Planet Frieza. Zarbon and everyone else would never see them again.
The day they were exiled, Zarbon had lost a friend, a friend in Icey, a confidant in Constantine. Constantine was stripped from his general post and of his status and was now forced to wonder the planet without any dignity at all. People would probably point at the couple saying that they used to be bourgeois and now have little to no pride at all.
Zarbon could make little to no sense about it, what had Icey done that was so bad that she was exiled, at least she had a chance to live her life out instead of not living at all. The Cold family found plenty of fault with Icey, and she had to pay the price for "encouraging" lust from Frieza. They wanted to save their brother from lusting over his cousin, and what more can be said?