Chapter Seven

I can't think about what may have happened had my mother not interrupted Peeta and I. All I can think about now is that Peeta will be spending the night entirely alone. This will be the first time since he was rescued. At this realization, I cross my arms and chew at my fingernails. All vindication evaporating with the chill brought on by dread.

Surely the medical team prepped him for this eventuality. As usual, my pessimism gets the better of me as grim scenarios flood into my mind. My mother departs at my room with Joanna. I'm not aware of the conversation we carried on this short walk or if we even talked at all. I find my roommate exiting our washroom.

"Seal the deal yet, princess?" she asks me with a yawn.

I avert my gaze. Not out of shame, but I get the feeling that she has had more experience than I have. I'm still too worried about Peeta to blush at the subject matter. I don't want to discuss it with anyone, especially her.

"How can you resist those blue doe eyes-?" she teases.

"We were only alone for ten minutes. At the most." I cut her off.

"Ten minutes is plenty, Katniss." Chortles Johanna, raising a brow. "Don't you want to? He's almost handsome again. He'll grow those sexy muscles back in no time. If you don't, I'll have to do myself and that poor boy a favor – "

I roll my eyes, scoffing under my breath. I shut the washroom door behind me after gathering my nightgown. Johanna and I are as close to friends as we'll ever be. Even if we are not, this teasing hardly gives me misgivings. Perhaps it would, in another world.

Peeta might have a type for abrasive women. I brush my hair, scrub my body, wash my face, and change my clothes. I pace in the washroom, waiting till Johanna might fall asleep. I really do not want to hear confirmation of what kind of 'favor' she meant. I flex my body and try to shake off the mental images of Peeta purging himself in the toilet or screaming awake from a flashback.

I reassure myself that I'll know in less than eight hours how his first night went. Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I exit the washroom and march straight to my bed. I lie beneath the comforter like a corpse, starring at the inside of my eyelids.

Johanna rolls over to face me and her voice is softer, "Maybe you resisted because you think there will be a better venue in the future? That we'll ever get out of this hell hole?"

I don't answer her out of self-respect, but mostly because I don't have a snarky reply.

"I hope that confidence rubs off on me." She sighs, yawning and turning her back on me.

I glance at her. She has a point: my opportunities with Peeta are numbered. If we pass our tests, we'll be flying to the Capitol in a matter of weeks. We are being trained into the ground for most of the day and working with the Insects in between. Anxiety fills my throat, making me too nauseous to sleep. Unbidden, nightmares worm their way into my subconscious.

I'm back in that pitch black room. I'm about to work myself awake when an overhead spotlight nearly blinds me. As my eyes adjust, I see that Peeta is standing beneath it.

"Peeta?" I whisper and run to him.

He's standing ridged, his face tilted down and starring with his eyes wide. I observe him. He's wearing the clothes he was first Reaped in.

"Peeta -?"

"I'm hungry, Katniss." He says weakly. "I'm hungry."

I gaze around and suddenly there's a buffet table lined with decadent food to our right. I pick out the dish nearest to me and present it to him. Abruptly, he loses at least ten pounds. His skin tightens over his bones with each plate I present to him. He repeats with increased desperation about how hungry he is. His eyes finally snap up to meet mine. They're glazed over in milky white, his face is nothing but skin and bones. His complexion is waxy and his sunken eye sockets bruised.

"You're too late, Katniss." President Snow's voice hisses from Peeta's mouth.

I stagger backwards. Peeta lifts his lip in a snarl and he dips his chin, clouding his face in darkness. All I can see are his blue eyes flashing beneath his furrowed brow. Like two moons blanketed in smoke. His teeth are like wolves. With a raspy growl, he lunges for my throat.

I awaken panting before his cold boney fingers touch me. I roll my eyes and wipe my hairline. I peak my head out from beneath the covers. My heart is still hammering and I can smell my own sweat. Even without Buttercup's window, I can tell that I have overslept - Johanna has already gone.

Our clock says that I have ten minutes to get to breakfast. I force my sore body out of bed to change into those unisex coveralls. I run my fingers through my hair instead of a brush and jump around while pulling on my shoes. I'm anxious to find out if Peeta succeeded in spending his first night alone in months. I find him sitting at the table with my mother and Prim.

Peeta stands when our eyes meet, unsteady on his prosthetic leg. I rush over to him and we hug. I absorb a lot of information from our embrace. His lips smell like peppermint, his hair feels clean, and his skin is pale but not sickly. More like creamy butter. He seems to be standing taller than usual.

I kiss him without greeting and this takes him by surprise.

"Well, good morning to you, too!" He chuckles.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. "Are you okay?"

"Come on, Katniss." He placates me.

"No. Seriously." I insist. "How are you feeling?"

"A little hungry." Peeta shrugs, then gives me a sly smile and kisses me again.

I don't care who may be watching. For all I know, Cressida and the Insects are capturing this romantic embrace on camera for all of Panem to be inspired by. I close my eyes. This time, I can focus on the taste of his mouth. Soft, warm … it's minty like the toothpaste. Too minty, as though he had been brushing feverishly just before we met now.

I have misgivings that he's not over-brushing for my benefit but to hide something. However, I choose not to question him about it in case I'm wrong. Peeta does love me. Maybe I should have brushed my teeth after I woke up. I set the suspicion aside and take a seat opposite him, sitting beside mother while Prim sat beside Peeta.

I'm determined not to meet mother's gaze. I wonder if Peeta is also fantasizing what may have happened between us if she had not come looking for me. Rolled oats with dried fruit and nuts are on the breakfast menu for us soldiers today, along with a side of condensed milk.

I flood my bowl with it while Peeta keeps them separate. Prim talks to mother about her nursing duties while Peeta and I listen idly. When I glance at him, he speaks softly.

"How did you sleep?" He asks me after taking such a casual bite of breakfast no one would know eating once scared him into starvation.

And here I am, bracing myself for the relapse.

"Fine." I shrug.

"Oh, really?" Peeta chuckles quietly, "'Took me some time to doze off."

He's looking at me with such a soft expression. I think he looks tired, his complexion dry. His face could still do with more filling-out. I could carve ice with that jawline.

"Didn't the doctors give you any sleeping medication?" I ask. "Pills, syrup ... anything?"

He laughs again, "I don't think the whole bottle could've pulled me under." He mouths, "I was thinking about you."

Thanks for clueing me in now, Peeta! I gulp and my cheeks flush. What is wrong with me?

"You thought it was something medical?" he teases.

I lightly kick him, "Still may be."

I sigh when he cups my knee with his hand and rubs me with his thumb.

Peeta says, "Katniss, I've been discharged. I'm not going to relapse. You don't have to worry about me anymore."

If mother and Prim hear our words, they have the decency to keep to their own conversation. Prim gives me a little smile but sticks to discussing her coursework.

"That's what you and I do." I remind Peeta.

I notice that he has finished his cereal and is moving on to his crackers with jam. Still working on his condensed milk, but this backs up his words.

Writer's Note: I'm sorry that this was half the length of the previous chapter. I have been working on this chapter ever since the previous was published but it kept getting put to the side because the real world keeps butting in. I hope that I'll get to finish this fic.