Thanks to my reviewers for the advice and comments. I try. I don't use "OMFG WHAT DO THESE WORDS MEAN" words, but I do add some in from time to time. I don't think it matters, now does it? I'm no big author, I writes for fun. Then again, most people do.
This is basically a filler, I had no idea on what to write.
When Fan Girls Attack!
Chapter 2: It's Too Hot for Complaints
It's morning, around eleven A.M. One day from the attack that almost led to a catastrophic disaster.
Today was a boring day. It was summer, too hot outside today to do anything, even in a fresh, cool spring of water outside in the Mansion's huge backyard rising from a hole in the ground. Septic tank water, it's more refreshing than it sounds on a one-hundred-three degree day.
Falco, too breathless and scorching hot to doze off and sleep the humid day away, decided to have some cold cereal. He hoped sitting it in the freezer would make it much colder, but it failed. He wasn't really eating it; just sipping the milk and picking with the cheap, off-brand Froot Lumps surfing around the bowl. They didn't taste too good to him anyway.
"It's soooo…hot…" Falco murmured, breathing through his mouth instead of beak. (Do birds have nostrils!? Wait…) He began to frustrate himself, "It's so…HOT!! WHY does the freaking air conditioner have to be broken!?" and slammed face forward onto the glass table he sat at, cracking it, and startling the rest of the smashers in a nearby room. Pain was better than heat, in this situation.
Everyone rested in one room, wondering "How can the Earth stand heat like this?" or something about global warming. They were all crunched together in a smallish exercise room, with a pool next door. Everyone was too lazy and hot to fill it. Falco hadn't wanted to be stuck in the middle of more than twenty stinky, musty people with fans blowing the polluted air back at each other, especially with Wario in there.
"What's wrong with you?" Wolf asked, jutting around the corner. His fur was wet with his, and others' sweat; which made him feel somewhat cooler. Falco stared blankly.
"Oh nothing, I'm just so hot that pissing on myself would seem like a great idea to get cooler," Falco explained harshly, "oh and let's not forget the conditioner's broken!" He lied back in his chair and shut his eyes to relieve anger.
"Oh come on, don't be such a pussy, take it like a man."
Falco quickly opened his eyes and gave a wild glare at Wolf.
"What?"
…
"What!?"
"Nothing."
"This wouldn't of happened if it wasn't for DIDDY!" Wolf screamed, obviously to impose guilt, and hot air.
"It wasn't my fault!" Diddy, stuck in-between some rainbow plants and someone's sword, tried to explain, "How was I supposed to know a banana would short out the electricity!?" The sound was muffled, but just barely heard over deep breathing.
"Anyway, we should probably try finding a way to fix it, right?" Wolf asked. Falco shrugged, hopped off of his chair, and sighed in displeasure.
"Mario's a plumber. Maybe he can help?"
"I'm not-a-BGE you idiots! Or any other company that works with crap-a-like that!"
"Ooo…kay…I guess I'll call for help…" Pessimistic Falco suggested, and reached for a nearby phone.
"Oooh, let's order a PIZZA!" Toon Link stupidly suggested as well. Falco wasn't too happy at the moment, and he was making things worse. Why could he talk and not his older self anyway!?
"Shut up before I shoot you! What number do I-
There was no dial tone. He turned the phone off and on again, but still nothing.
"How is there no dial tone? Hey Hand, did you forget to pay the bill AGAIN!?"
"…"
"…Maybe. Wait, I'm in the pile? So THAT'S why it smells like it does! And I'm bleeding from being stabbed!" Everyone moved around and shuffled the pile somewhere else, leaving the bloodied, hand-less glove alone.
"GAH!!"
Screamed Falco, and broke the phone after throwing it away. Wolf stared bluntly, disapproving of Falco's new behavior. That would usually be him screaming in someone's ear and complaining like Peach.
"Calm down, idiot. This'll all be over tomorrow, when it's like eighty-nine degrees."
"That's still a little hot. WAIT!" Falco realized something.
"So THAT'S why none of the electricity is working, why the freezer isn't working, and why my milk tasted so outdated!"
"AND why none of the FANS are working!" Toon Link exclaimed, to add onto Falco's slow moment of stupidity. "Wait…hey guys, the fans aren't working."
"…Oh." Everyone else remembered, in their state of low esteem.
"So this wasn't my fault at all!" Diddy screamed again.
"No, but you still broke it!" Falco retorted.
"Right…So this wasn't my fault at all!" Falco felt like cutting himself to death.
"Oh, and the security system's malfunctioned and we can't fix it now, so there's no way to get out of the mansion besides breaking through a window, but they automatically reappear because of the DAMN system."
Later that day…Fox saved Falco from hanging himself.
Ended this one so suddenly because I had no inspiration, but the attack starts next chapter, so I will make it, and those after, longer, also MOAR random and crackish? I like reviews, too! Oh, and one more thing. Any reviewer can be requested to star as a fan girl! (Or fan boy, homosexual or not, lawl. Just give me a name.)
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