Chapter 2

The sun shining through my bedroom window woke me up. I sat up and attempted to open my eyes, they burned. The sun was so bright already. "It has to be around noon..." I said to myself.

I hurried out of bed and fondled with my chest of drawers, looking for something to wear. I didn't bother looking in the wardrobe, everything there was going to be sold. I found a cream colored dress with yellow daisies embroidered along the neckline and the bottom of the dress. "This is hideous!" I said in disgust as I unfolded it and laid it out on the bed. "God awful!" I chuckled.

I got dressed and headed for the kitchen. I opened up the icebox to find nothing. "I should go out and get something to put in there," I thought to myself. I looked down at what I was wearing and gasped at how hideous the dress looked. I thought about changing but decided not to. Dressing by myself was hard. That was something I'd definitely have to get used to since I was no longer a woman of high society.

I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. I stepped outside and gasped at how cold the wind was. I adjusted my scarf and hat the best I could.

"Ruth!" The lady across the street yelled as she ran over to me.

I was disgusted at how she had the nerve to call me by my first name. "How rude.." I thought to myself. I looked at her trying to remember her name, but I couldn't. I never socialized with many people who were in a different social class. I was Ruth DeWitt Bukater and I was of high society, or at least in the moment, I forgot I was no longer a part of high society. "Stop it, Ruth... You're just Ruth now.." I said to myself.

She looked at me with a puzzled look "Are you ok?"

"I am ok.." I again searched my mind for her name, but nothing came to mind. "I just don't recall your name, please forgive me." I was embarrassed with myself.

"My name is Elizabeth, but you can call me Beth."

She didn't seem offended at all, which took me by surprise. "Nice to meet you, Beth. That is a beautiful name."

"I am sorry to hear about your daughter."

I felt a lump form in my throat and my heart fell to my feet. I missed her so much and just wanted her back. I stood there just staring at the girl from across the street. I had no words.

"Maybe we can talk sometime, you could come over for tea," she said in a calming tone.

"Sounds nice," I slowly replied with a nod and a half smile. I wasn't expecting that.

I picked up my purse and headed off towards the market. People everywhere were calling out to me, but I acted as though I didn't hear them. I didn't want to think about losing my daughter today, not any more than I already did.

I searched the market for food, only to remember that I didn't know how to cook. I barely knew how to make tea. I thought about asking for help but decided not to. I got a few pounds of meat, some fresh fruits & vegetables, bread, some sugar, eggs, and flour. "I'll figure this out,"I smiled to myself.

I paid for my stuff and walked back towards home, again ignoring the people trying to talk to me. I heard some of them whispering " She must be mental, coming out so soon after losing her daughter." I fought back the tears and walked faster. "I feel so sorry for her." Some people whispered.

"Finally!" I screeched as I reached the gate to my house. I unlocked it and pushed it open. I hurried inside and put everything away, except the bacon and eggs.

I sat down at the table and tried to think of how to cook it. "Butter? Do I need butter for bacon?" I asked myself with a laugh. I felt so ignorant at that moment. I didn't know how to do the simplest things.

I got out an iron skillet placed it on the stove to get hot. I placed the bacon in and a few minutes later it was making a sizzling sound. "Oh, my heavens!" I gasped as it started smoking. I quickly removed the skillet from the stove and tossed it in the sink. My heart was racing. Had I just prevented my house from going up in flames? "Whew, that was close." I screeched as I wiped my forehead. I put the unused bacon and eggs in the icebox and made a sandwich that night. I'm not sure if I even made it right.

I cleaned up the mess I had made and sat down to read the newspaper. I wasn't amused by the headlines that day. The Hockley's were on the front page. "It hasn't even been two weeks and he has already found a new victim...Poor soul." I thought to myself. I tossed the paper in the trash and went to rest my eyes, trying not to think of the day I had just had.

"Ruth!" Grace yelled, shaking me.

I remove my hands from my face to look at her, but everything is a blur and I'm freezing.

"You've been out here for over two hours, Ruth!" She placed a hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to startle you, but if we don't get you back inside, you'll surely catch pneumonia."

"Where is inside?" I question, confused.

"Inside the boarding home, you know that." Grace looks at me "You scared me."

I turn around to see the run-down house and suddenly I'm back in reality, out of my thoughts. I shiver as I remember what Bonnie said to me. "Grace, is Bonnie still here?"

"No, she's gone away for the weekend."

"I don't ever want to see her again. She is such a cruel woman."

Grace chuckled "Don't we all know that?"

"I guess we better get inside. I didn't mean to scare you."

We made our way to the kitchen where Grace had prepared some cakes and tea. I take a seat at the table and take a sip of my tea. The warmth felt so good. Grace clears her throat as she takes the seat next to me.

"Do you want to tell me what's bothering you? I know it isn't just Bonnie. You looked down when you came out of your room."

"Today is the one year anniversary of the Titanic sinking." I put my head down, not wanting to look at her. "But Bonnie made it worse with the horrible things she said to me."

"Oh, Ruth! I'm so sorry. I've been wanting to get rid of her, but I don't have a reason to put her out legally."

I looked up at her "Yeah, so I know."

Grace again cleared her throat "I have something to tell you about Rose, Ruth."

"What? What about her?" I could feel my heart falling again. I was almost afraid of what she was going to say. "Rose is gone. She went down with the Titanic. I..."

Grace's eyes grew wide and she placed a hand on top of mine "No... No, she didn't!"

"What!?" I jumped up from my seat, anger overtaking me, I slammed my hands down on the table "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! HOW DARE YOU!" I growled.

Grace winced and flinched at me "Ruth. Please listen to me. I'm not lying... I ran into her today down at the cafe."

"No... No, you didn't, did you?"

"Yes, I promise! She doesn't know me, but I remember her from the pictures you showed me. She's as beautiful as ever. Her red hair is still curly too."

I feel my heart beating faster and faster, my head starts spinning and I fall back into the wall. "What did you just say?"

Grace helps me sit "I said I ran into her at the cafe. She is a waitress there."

"What! Why haven't I ran into her?" I had been there a bunch of times, but never seen anyone who even resembled Rose. "Does she look happy?"

"She just started today! Happy isn't the word I would use, her eyes lit up when she talked about her husband and their baby."

I stood up not quite sure I was hearing her right "Baby?... Husband? Did she marry Jack?" I gasped "What if she doesn't want to see me?" I felt my hand go to my throat, my heart was hurting.

"Jack is her husband, yes."

I couldn't help the tears that were falling "Did you mention to her that you know me?" I asked.

"No, I didn't. I didn't think I was supposed to?"

"Oh thank heavens!" I sighed. "I'm not sure she cares about me. She did run away from me on a sinking ship." I looked down at the table "All this time I've thought her dead, but she's alive. I really messed up with her."

Grace sighed "Don't say that Ruth."

"I will say it. I... I messed up big time with her. I lost her, not to death, but I lost her. I lost her love and trust. The past year I've been mourning her. I thought she was dead.."

"Aren't you happy that she's alive?"

"Yes, of course. It's just that I don't mean anything to her. Which is understandable with how I treated her." I felt guilt again creeping up.

"We should go to the cafe and see her," Grace said.

I looked at her thinking about it. I wasn't sure she would want to see me. If she did, she would have surely found my name on the list of survivors and sought me out. "I will sleep on it."