Chapter 3

April 1914

It has been one year since I learned of Rose's survival. I've been trying to go up to her, but I am still afraid of being rejected. I come to this small little market across the street from the Diner she works at and watch her. Looking at her now, I see a different Rose. I see someone who is free and is loving her life. No sign of the Rose I knew, the girl trying to break free was no more. The fire in her eyes was brighter and her smile lit up the whole place. I never seen a smile so genuine in all my years.

"I would give anything to be a part of her happiness" I said to myself as I took a seat on a near by bench, watching her.

The hours flew by and the daylight began to fade. I got up and adjusted my hat and coat. I headed across the street towards the diner, sitting on an empty bench just outside the door. It was nearing time for Rose to end her shift. I loved sitting here when it was time for her to leave, because I not only got to see her, but Jack and my granddaughter.

"Do ya mind if I sit here and have a smoke?" Jack asked as he put the pram on the opposite side of the bench. Something he did every time Rose was getting off of work.

"I don't mind" I said as I turned away from him, now facing the pram. "She is such a beautiful little girl." I looked at her in awe. I could feel my heart melt. Her hair was as white as cotton and she had the bluest eyes. She had Jack's nose and Rose's mouth. She was literally the most beautiful human being I'd ever seen. My arms were aching to hold her, but I was too afraid to ask.

"She is beautiful like her mother. Dont let her looks fool you though, she has her mothers temper." he laughed, lighting his cigarette.

"I've seen her mother and she does look almost identical to her." I said, remembering Rose when she was a baby. She was a beautiful and sweet baby.

The baby started making sounds and sat up in the pram. Jack extinguished his cigarette and picked the baby up. "My name is Jack, by the way". He said extending his hand to me. "I figure it's time for us to introduce ourselves, since we run into each other here all the time."

What was I going to say my name was? I never expected this. I said the first thing that came to my mind "Betsy, my name is Betsy" I said, shaking his hand.

"And this little bundle of joy is Carrie." His eyes lit up as he bounced her about his knee. You could tell she was the center of his world.

Carrie! I finally knew my granddaughters name. Inside, I was jumping for joy, hoping it didn't show on my face. "That is a lovely name." I stuck my hand over to her and she immediately wrapped her little hand around my index finger and started to babble. I could feel my heart begin to melt. I felt a whole new level of love that I'd never before felt.

"There goes my two lovelys" Rose said as she walked over and picked Carrie up from Jack's lap.

I stared at her, hoping she didn't notice. "Lovely child you have." I said quickly looking towards the ground.

She smiled "Thank you." She paused and looked at me "You look familiar..."

What was I going to say? I sure didn't expect this. They usually just ignored me while I was sitting here. I guess after a year, they just got curious. "How so?"

"You look like someone I used to know" she shrugged. "Maybe I'm just tired. I've had a long day."

Someone she use to know? Boy did that hurt. I could feel the tears forming, threatening to pour out. My eyes were burning and I was afraid to move. I wanted to look at her, but knew I couldn't. "Maybe."

"This is Betsy, Rose. Carrie seems to like her." Carrie was babbling while looking at me and holding her arms out to me, as if she wanted me to hold her.

"That is a bit odd, considering Carrie usually doesn't like strangers" Rose chuckled, looking at me.

I was in total awe at the baby babbling at me. I couldn't contain myself anymore. "Would it be alright if I hold her" I asked.

Rose looked at me then back at Jack, who gave her a nod and a smile.

I held my arms out to Carrie and she practically jumped into my waiting arms.

"Wow!" Rose exclaimed. "She has never done that for anyone besides Jack and I!"

Feeling her in my arms was one of the best feelings I've ever felt. I felt so much love radiate from this beautiful little bundle of joy. She wrapped her little hand around my finger again and laughed. "She is definitely a sweet little angel."

Rose kept staring at me with a look of confusion on her face. She was trying to get a good look at my face, I'm sure she was. She couldn't find out that I was her mother, she would surely take the baby out of my arms and storm off, never to be seen again. I couldn't let that happen. I had to keep seeing her, Jack and little Carrie. I would keep this up as long as I could. I didn't like lying, but it's the only way to be some part of their world.

"We gotta be going" Rose said as she extended her arms out to Carrie. Carrie swatted at her and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Jack do you see this?" Rose asked with a look of shock on her face.

"Yes I do. I think Carrie has a new friend" he laughed.

I was in shock myself that she did that. "She must know that I'm her grandmother." I thought to myself. "Of course she knew, baby's know these things."

I hesitantly pulled her arms from around my neck and handed her to Rose. She let out a loud cry and wiggled around in her arms, reaching out to me, knocking my hat off. I bent down and picked it up, quickly putting it back on before they could get a good look at me.

"Carrie, what on earth is wrong with you?" Rose asked trying to soothe a now screaming Carrie.

I could feel my own heart breaking with each scream she let out. Maybe I shouldn't have held her. "I'm sorry for upsetting her."

Rose placed a hand on my shoulder "She will be okay soon. You didn't do anything."

I froze when Rose touched me. It was almost like a dream. I wanted so badly to tell her that I was her mother, but knew that I couldn't. I would ruin everything and I just couldn't do that, not right now. I would just continue to do what I did everyday and that is watch from the sidelines.

I watched them walk until I couldn't see them anymore. I removed my hat and let the tears fall. I was happy that I got to hold my granddaughter, but hurt that I can't tell her who I am, though I'm sure she knows.