A/N: Okay, there's good news and bad news - I'm experiencing a run of insomnia, plus classes started this week which means I'm sleep deprived and confused. The good news is, it honestly does remind me of the first weeks with a newborn, so that element of the story should be nicely authentic. The bad news is that I proofread and edited this chapter so many times, the words started to run together. If I've overlooked a plot hole or a disconnect please do point it out to me so that I can fix it. I'm going ahead and posting, though, because I want to get this chapter to you before I bury myself in homework due Monday morning at 7 am.
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They made their way as quietly as possible through the hallways - Five-O was no stranger to glares from nurses - until they were outside the door of Jax's room. Mary opened it first, popping her head in the crack. The other four jockeyed behind her, bumping into each other.
"Come in, come in," Steve said, gesturing. To absolutely no one's surprise, he'd managed to fit onto the bed with Jax. He was cradling a miniscule pink bundle in the crook of one elbow, his other arm snuggling Jax close to him.
"Naturals," Grover declared. Jax had the blue bundled tucked onto her shoulder, her small hand fitting neatly around a tiny bottom. "You guys are naturals, look at you."
Kono was snapping pictures on her cell phone and wiping discreetly at her eyes.
"Names, for the love of God, tell us you have names," Danny said, rubbing his hands together.
"We do," Steve said. He cleared his throat. "We settled on naming the babies after our brothers and sister . . . so, guys, I'd like you to meet Ann Hart McGarrett." He smiled and held the baby toward Mary.
"Me?" Mary whispered. "You named the baby after me?"
"Mary Ann, yeah," Steve said. "And Freddie. Two people with an amazing capacity for love. Here, you can hold her. Surprisingly enough, she doesn't break."
Mary took the baby and nestled her in her arms, swaying gently. "Hi, Annie," she whispered. "I'm your Aunt Mary. Wait, is that okay? Annie?"
"Yeah, we called her Ann for about two minutes, and then it was Annie," Jax said, shrugging. "And this little guy is already Billy, aren't you? Named after two of the kindest, bravest men we know. William Daniel McGarrett, meet your family." She looked up at Danny and smiled.
"It's an honor, Jax," Danny murmured. He kissed her cheek as he picked up the baby, tucking him against his shoulder, his hand covering most of his back.
"They're so tiny," Grover marveled. "I didn't know they came this tiny."
The babies were carefully passed around and snuggled, fingers and toes counted, noses bopped gently with fingertips. Kono was holding Billy when he scrunched up his face and made a wet, gassy sound in his diaper.
"Oh, that's our cue," Kono said, depositing the baby back into Danny's arms. "There's a lot of us in this room, and Steve and Jax, you both look completely axed."
"It's okay," Danny assured Billy, who was furious at the situation in his diaper. "Uncle Danny's not afraid of a little baby poo."
"Kono is right, though," Chin said. "We need to clear out, you guys obviously need to rest. Call us, day or night, anything you need."
"Is it day or night?" Jax asked, blinking. "I've lost track."
"It's time for you to sleep, that's all that matters," Grover said, kissing her on the cheek. He shook Steve's hand carefully, a dark look passing through his eyes at the injuries not quite hidden by the bandages. He looked at Steve. "Like Chin said - anything, anytime. You need to talk . . . that cafeteria keeps coffee going twenty-four seven."
"Thanks, Lou," Steve said. "Thanks."
Chin kissed Jax and gave Steve's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry about a thing, just concentrate on your family. We've got things well in hand at the office, and Mary allowed us to send aunties over to help her take care of things at the house. They've said that no other new parents will ever come home to such comfort."
Mary flushed with pride at Chin's words.
"Thank you," Jax said. "I didn't have any idea . . ."
"And that's why Mary came," Kono said, hugging Mary first and then Jax. "But when the babies are ready to surf, I'm your girl."
"Infants can learn to swim," Steve said excitedly. "I read about it -"
"Amazing," Danny grumbled. "Did you read about changing diapers? Because this is a situation here."
Grover, Chin, and Kono laughed as they slipped out of the room.
"Well?" Danny asked, looking back at Steve.
"Might need you to talk me through it the first time," Steve admitted. He carefully eased out of the bed, kissing Jax on the temple as she winced. "You need pain relief?"
She waved him off. "Want to see how these tiny diapers work, it can wait."
Under Danny's watchful eye, Steve changed Billy's diaper without incident. When it was Annie's turn, though, his hands were shaking.
"She's just so tiny," Steve whispered. "How am I not hurting her? I feel like I'm hurting her. She's crying."
Jax carefully got out of bed and padded over to the bassinet. Her small hands handled the diaper more easily, and Danny showed her how to swaddle the tiny, squirming form. By this time, both babies were fussing, smacking their tiny fists helplessly against their faces.
"They're hungry," Mary prompted. "I know how these bottles work, the Millers used these the whole time I babysat for them." She expertly assembled a plastic lined bottle and filled it with formula, then watched as Steve and Jax repeated the process with a second bottle.
"Nothing to it," Danny assured them. "You've given Charlie plenty of bottles. Same procedure, just . . . smaller. Why don't Mary and I go grab you guys some food, while you feed our namesakes?"
"I - I'm actually starving," Jax said, surprised. Steve nodded in agreement, and Danny and Mary slipped out of the room.
"Okay, how do - which one -" Jax stopped and looked up at Steve. "Your hands are - and I'm -"
"We can do this," Steve said. He took a deep breath and exhaled. "Okay, we're going to get you comfortable and I'll hand you Annie and her bottle. Then I'll pick up Billy, and his bottle, and sit in the chair. Yeah?"
"Yeah," Jax said, nodding. She sat on the edge of the bed, wincing as she tried to swing her legs up.
"I've got you," Steve murmured. He slipped a hand behind her knees and helped her get settled, wincing a bit himself.
"Geez, we're a pair," Jax said. She reached up and stroked gentle fingers across his bruised jaw.
He captured her hand and kissed her fingertips. "Yeah, we are. Okay. One little tiny Annie Hart coming up." He picked Annie up and handed her carefully to Jax, making sure they were settled.
"It's working," Jax whispered. "She's - look, her little fingers are stretching out. She's making starfish fingers, like Pupule makes starfish paws."
Steve grinned and picked up Billy, who was working up to a full-blown fuss. He settled into the chair with him, and soon the fussing settled into contented slurping.
"Holy shit, we have babies," Jax whispered. "And they're wearing clean diapers and eating and . . ."
"We did have some help," Steve said.
"Yeah, but still. It's just our first day and we're pretty beat up," Jax pointed out. "I think, all things considered, we're pretty badass."
#*#*#*#*#
"I spoke too soon," Jax said, "we are not badass. We are clueless. Should we call the nurse?"
Danny and Mary had quietly deposited wrapped sandwiches and fruit and tiptoed back out, not willing to risk interrupting the precious first bottles. Each had waved their cell phones, indicating that they were heading home. Both babies had been fed, and burped. Their diapers were clean. But the fussing was getting impressive. Even Annie's tiny mewls were increasing in volume.
"We could call the nurse," Steve said reluctantly. He cradled Annie against his chest with one hand, and leaned over Jax, holding the furiously squirming Billy, to press the call button. He felt Annie give a little hiccup and sigh. Jax looked down as Billy settled into a shaky, shuddering whimper.
"Do you think . . ." Jax said, looking up at Steve.
"I'm thinking, yeah . . . " he said. He stood up and backed a couple of steps away from Jax. Annie's face scrunched up.
"Of course," Jax murmured, looking down as Billy wound up for another squall. "You're worried about Annie, aren't you, why she's so far away."
"Here, let me -" Steve said, cautiously lowering Annie down to snuggle next to Billy on Jax's chest, her tiny head tucked under Jax's chin, close to Billy's head resting on Jax's shoulder. They watched in amazement as the little faces smoothed into contentment, and both babies drifted off to sleep.
Steve slipped onto the bed next to Jax, one hand resting over the babies. He cradled her head with his other hand, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. She closed her eyes and leaned into him.
He hadn't realized that he'd drifted off to sleep until a soft knock at the door woke him up. He glanced down to see Jax soundly asleep.
"Hey," he said quietly, "come on in."
The door opened carefully, and a nurse appeared. "Looks like you guys are rocking it, for first time parents. Of twins, no less."
"We are figuring it out as we go along," Steve said.
Jax stirred, and blinked sleepily. "Oh. What'd I miss?" she asked.
"I'm so sorry to disturb you," the nurse said. "But you're way overdue for your pain medication. Can you tell me, on a scale of one to ten, what's your pain level?"
Jax shrugged. "It's okay, I've had worse."
The nurse dimpled in a smile. "Mia said that you would say that, and she said to make sure you understand that is not the point. So. Number?"
"About a seven," Jax mumbled.
"Shit, Jax," Steve murmured. "I should have called for the nurse when we were doing the diapers. I knew you were hurting . . ."
"Let's try not to let the pain get above a four," the nurse suggested. She flipped through Jax's chart. "Mia brought my attention to a very specific drug protocol that was prescribed for you on a previous visit to Tripler. We'd like to use that tonight."
"It knocks me out," Jax said, shaking her head.
"And the problem with that would be?" the nurse asked. She put a hand on her hip.
"The babies might need me," Jax said. Steve recognized the stubborn set to her jaw.
"You're not nursing," the nurse pointed out. "So, we can let them sleep all night in the nursery. I assure you, we're great at diaper changes and bottles."
Steve started to protest, but the nurse interrupted him with an upraised finger, which she then pointed at his wrists and various visible bruises.
"She has a point," Jax said.
"She didn't even say anything," Steve grumbled.
"Think of it in terms of putting your own oxygen masks on first," the nurse said. "You need to take care of yourselves so you can take these babies home. Commander, I know that where you've been and what you've been doing is classified, and above my paygrade. But it doesn't take an intelligence officer to suss out that you're injured, and exhausted. And Jax . . . a C-section is major surgery, without twins, and without complications. Please. Let us take the babies for the night, and you two take some time for each other, and some solid sleep."
Steve tucked Jax's hair away from her face. She was pale, her face drawn with pain, dark circles smudged under her eyes.
"I think she's right," he said quietly.
"Sleep deprivation is no joke," the nurse added softly.
Jax's eyes widened, and Steve nodded. "Yeah, we know," he said. He brushed the back of his finger over Jax's cheek. "They can come get me if the babies need one of us."
"Okay," Jax whispered. She kissed the tops of the babies' heads and let Steve pick them up and nestle them together in one bassinet. They each yawned adorably and batted a fist aimlessly in the air.
"I will get the babies settled, and I'm sending a nurse back to check your dressing and set up another round of IV antibiotics. We aren't taking any chances with you, given your previous splenectomy," the nurse explained. "Oh, and you should definitely eat something. I could send for - oh, I see your friends have taken care of that."
"Sandwiches," Jax said.
"If it sounds good to you and doesn't upset your stomach, go for it," the nurse said. "If it's too heavy, let me know. I can bring applesauce and jello. Okay, little ones, let's give mommy and daddy some rest, shall we?"
The room was quiet - too quiet - after the nurse left. Steve pulled the tray table to Jax's bed and set out the sandwiches and cups of juice, then propped his hip on the bed and looked at Jax.
"You feel like eating?" he asked. His own stomach was growling.
Jax took a generous sip of apple juice and then nodded. "Yeah. Our blood sugar is probably all over the place." She started with a small bite of the sandwich.
Steve's sandwich disappeared quickly. Jax laughed and pushed half of hers toward him. "Here, I can't eat all of mine. I'm the patient, I can get applesauce and jello if I get hungry."
Steve grinned and lifted the sandwich, taking another generous bite. Her eyes fell on the thick white bandages around his wrist, which still didn't hide the swelling and bruising around his thumb.
"What else?" she asked softly.
"Hmm?" he mumbled, mid-bite.
"Where else are you hurt?" she asked. "Concussion, blunt force laceration over your eye. Swelling and bruising on your jaw. Wrists and hands . . . what, abrasions? Restraints? You're guarding your ribs, I can see it in the way you move."
"Jax, I'm okay," he said. "I'll grab a Motrin, I'll be fine. They're being extra cautious where I have a little broken skin, that's all, because you just had surgery." He thought of Nick, goading and provoking their captors, trying to protect him. He couldn't meet Jax's eyes.
"Don't," Jax whispered. "Please don't shut me out. I have no idea what went on, what happened -"
"Hey, there's time for that later," he said. "The important thing is, I'm back, and we aren't looking over our shoulder for WoFat. The rest is paperwork. The international community is dealing with WoFat. It's over."
She reached up and cupped his battered jaw. "Is it?" she asked softly. "Is that how it works?"
"Well, in theory," he said, smiling ruefully.
A soft knock interrupted them, and another nurse appeared.
"Sorry, believe it or not, this is us actually trying to give you guys some privacy," she said. "I'm Katie, your night nurse. I'm going to check your incision, and then set you up with some long overdue pain medication. How about a trip to the bathroom first?"
"Can I take a shower?" Jax asked. She eased out of the bed gingerly and started shuffling toward the bathroom.
"No, not until morning," the nurse apologized. "You're going to be more wobbly than you realize. But you can wash up, brush your teeth, whatever you want, just as long as one of us is close by. I can come back in -"
"I won't be but a couple of minutes," Jax said. "Pretty low maintenance. Would you mind - I don't have my penlight . . . his concussion . . . "
"Jax," Steve protested, but Jax cheerfully closed the bathroom door in his face.
"She's likely equal parts concerned about you and wanting a little privacy," the nurse said. She pulled a penlight out of her pocket and gestured to the chair. "We'll listen for her, we're right here if she needs us. How are you holding up, Commander? Scuttlebutt is you barely made it back from a mission in time for your babies."
"I'm fine," Steve said, even as he winced in pain at the light in his eyes.
"Ummhmm," the nurse said, dubious. "I'm really glad that you all took us up on the suggestion to let the babies sleep in the nursery. I know, they're so cute and you're so excited, but both of you look in pretty rough shape."
"I'm fine," Steve repeated.
"Well. You're not, but you're here, and I know your family is very happy about that. You need Motrin?" she asked.
"I'm sure there's plenty in his bag," Jax said, hobbling out of the bathroom. "Steve, your sister - she packed up the most amazing bags for us, we have everything we need."
Steve rushed to Jax, ready to scoop her up into his arms despite his still aching shoulders.
"Don't let her trip, but do let her walk," the nurse said. "It seems cruel but it's important for you to be up and moving around."
"Yeah, not my first rodeo," Jax panted, nodding. "Although walk seems a generous description."
"In the morning, you can walk down to the nursery," the nurse said.
"And take a shower," Jax reminded her, as Steve helped her back into the bed. "But you can take a shower, if you want, while the nurse checks my incision. Mary sent your bag. And take some Motrin."
Steve rolled his eyes.
"Let her fuss over you," the nurse laughed. "Looks like someone needs to. Go ahead, I'm right here, she's in good hands."
Steve grabbed his bag from the tidy closet and headed into the bathroom.
The nurse scrubbed her hands and pulled over the tray with the supplies for a dressing change. Jax closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the pillow.
"Let the pain get away from you?" the nurse asked sympathetically.
"Yeah, I was really feeling it, but then, the babies pooped, and then they were hungry, and then they were pissed off because they were separated and . . ." Jax shrugged.
"Let's get drugs going first, then, before -"
"No, please, go ahead and do this," Jax said. She glanced at the closed bathroom door.
"You're reluctant to let him see the incision," the nurse said quietly.
Jax shrugged. "I've had a lot worse. He's seen a lot worse."
"An interesting point, but you didn't disagree with me," the nurse said.
Jax shrugged again, looking away as the nurse carefully lifted up her gown and tended to the incision.
"It's a very small incision," the nurse said. "There won't be much of a scar at all. Not like - I'm sorry. That was rude of me."
"Rebar," Jax said. "And then wood fragment. And it's not rude, no worries."
The nurse snapped off her gloves and tossed them, along with the old bandage, into the red hazardous waste bin. She started to say something more to Jax, but Steve was exiting the bathroom.
"Everything okay?" he asked, reading the tension in Jax's face. He stowed his bag back in the closet and came to stand next to her, brushing a big hand gently over her curls.
"Hate to admit it, but I'm really looking forward to that pain relief," Jax said quietly. She fidgeted with the sheet.
The nurse nodded and made a note in the chart. "I'll be right back with that," she said, and slipped out the door.
"Jax, what's wrong?" Steve murmured, bending and kissing her cheek. "What's -"
"I just really let the pain get ahead of me," she said, "and I'm so tired."
"Of course you are," he said. "Big day." He smiled down at her.
"You're going to sleep, too, right?" she asked anxiously. "Or should we take shifts?"
"I think it's safe for both of us to sleep," he said.
"The nursery, it's secure?" Jax asked.
"Very," he assured her. "Danny checked it out, and I did too."
The nurse slipped back into the room with a new IV bag and Jax's pain medication.
"Your babies, and you, are very safe," she said, as she set up the IV and expertly added the additional drugs. "All of the same vetting processes and protocols as the emergency department, plus extra security for the nursery. You are in good hands, and you really, really need to sleep."
"Won't have any choice," Jax mumbled. "Not with that stuff."
The nurse dimmed the lights as she slipped out of the room. "You have a call button, I expect you to use it, Commander, if anything seems the slightest bit of concern to you. Understood?"
Jax sighed and shifted, wincing as she tried to get comfortable.
"What can I do?" Steve asked quietly. "Need another pillow? The bed adjusted?"
"I'm not sure," Jax said. She felt shaky and wrong, and everything hurt.
He eased a hip onto the bed, careful not to jostle her, and took her hand in his.
"I think maybe they put me back together wrong," she blurted. "Everything feels weird. I didn't expect it to hurt this much."
He wrapped her carefully in his arms, cradling her head against his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, ku'uipo," he whispered. He felt her hands fist in his shirt as she fought for control. "Hey, I've got you. You're amazing, you know that? There's nothing to prove here, Jax. It's okay. I've got you."
She tucked her face into his neck and he held her until he felt her relax slightly.
"Drugs kicking in?" he murmured.
"Hmm," she sighed. He eased her back onto the pillows and lowered the head of the bed slightly. "Feet are cold," she mumbled.
He rummaged in the well-stocked bag that Mary had prepared, and came up with a pair of fuzzy socks. She sighed in contentment as he slipped them on her feet, and he smiled. Her eyes drifted closed, but her hand patted absently at the mattress next to her.
"Don't go away," she said.
"I better sleep in the chair," he said, tucking the blanket around her. "I don't want to hurt you."
"I don' want . . . wake up, not know where . . ." she said. She was drifting, but her hand moved restlessly toward him.
He carefully shifted her a bit further to one side and slipped in next to her. She instinctively curled toward him, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her.
"Annie and Billy . . . they know, right . . . nurses," she mumbled. "Together, right?"
He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "They know to keep them together. Shh, sleep, Jax, I've got you. The babies are fine."
"Don't leave," she whispered.
"I'm not leaving," he promised. "I'm right here. I'm right here, Jax. I'm home."