Care rode on Gypsy. A black Arabian with a white star on her forehead and three white feet. The young mare was quick, smart, and eager to please. She had taken a liking to Fenris, but Cara wanted both to gain more experience before pairing the two. A young Arabian can easily pick up bad habits, but once well trained is quick to correct less experienced riders.
Cara bought an Arabian stallion when she inherited the ranch. The stallion of her father's was given to her brother, was now retired and living a life of leisure on Sean's small place near Billings. Cara's stallion Thunder, was white, with a black muzzle, mane, and tail. Scout was one of the offspring of his first year covering the herd.
The paint was intelligent and patient, and like Thunder, an important part of Cara's life. She couldn't use Thunder as a mount, and Scout had become a trusted friend. Which was why she had Fenris riding him. Scout would teach him with subtle moves and manners what not to do, and in the event of any serious mistakes would throw him.
The two were getting along well. Cara wasn't surprised at how quickly Fenris was becoming an adept rider. She felt the game portrayed Fenris as an intelligent man. What he lacked in experience he made up for in strong observation skills. Filing away information to use when needed. As natural as he was on a horse, she wondered if at some time in his past he had learned to ride, or at least had been around horses.
Remus stopped in front of them with his nose in the air. When the biting wind came up behind them, Cara saw dark clouds rolling their way. She cursed under her breath. They were still two hours from the line shack she had intended to stop at for the night.
"Change of plans. The storm will be on us before we reach camp, we need to head north to a cave near here."
"Is a cave a wise place of refuge?" he asked.
"This one is. It's been used for generations. Few animals are brave enough to enter. It smells too much like people."
"Can we not just ride through the storm?"
"No, those clouds are coming from the northeast. With all the moisture in the air, we are going to be hit hard with snow."
Fenris watched the clouds a moment before turning back to Cara. "I know nothing of this kind of weather. Kirkwall rarely saw snow."
"Time to bundle up. This is why we brought warm coats and gloves." Cara pulled her coat from the saddle bag and slipped it on. Fenris did the same.
She had hoped this short trip would give Fenris a chance to get experience with more things on the ranch before Jess and Harris arrived. The less they could rib him about his lack of knowledge, the better. Now, it looked like they might not make it back for more than the four days she expected to be gone.
Fenris followed her on Scout, he was already huddling into the warm coat, his breath escaping in puffs of steam as it hit the cold air. This was colder than the Hinterlands. When the first snowflakes fell he was amazed at the size. Even though visibility was low, the snow was pleasant to look at. He watched Remus ahead. The wolf stuck his tongue out to catch the flakes as they fell and danced excitedly. Even Cara held out a hand and watched them land in her palm.
He'd kept his distance from her the past month. It hadn't been easy. Especially the last week. He'd thrown himself into the work. If he was sore and tired at the end of the day, he wouldn't find himself awake thinking of her into the wee hours of the morning. It hadn't helped. Instead of thinking of her awake, he dreamed of her. In the six weeks since his arrival, there was still no ideas on how to get him home. But staying wasn't an option. Cara barely tolerated his presence. She rarely smiled or laughed if he was near. He recognized the wall she had created. Hadn't he done the same after losing Hawke to Anders? But he neither knew how to get passed it nor if he should. Again, the fault was his. He not only gave into temptation, he blamed her. Just one more thing to be ashamed of.
A yip from Remus drew him from his thoughts and they stopped outside an opening too small for either of the horses to enter. Fenris would have to duck his head to enter.
Cara set her pack near the opening and removed the saddle from Gypsy. Then pulled a horse blanket out and covered the mare to protect her from the snow. Fenris did the same and soon both horses were covered.
"What of the horses? Will they not wander off?" he asked.
"No, Scout will stay near me, and Gypsy will stay near Scout. There is shelter just over there for them to get out of the worst of the wind." Cara pointed to a natural overhang in the rock with trees on two sides of it. Not exactly a covered stall, but both horse headed toward it. Cara filled the two nose bags with grain and followed, clipping both to their harnesses. "They can eat while we get settled."
She slipped inside with her saddle, then returned for the packs. Fenris grabbed his saddle but hesitated at the opening. If the opening was any indication to size, the cave was small and cramped. He didn't do well in small spaces.
Cara ducked her head out. "It's much bigger than it looks. You can stand upright in it."
He nodded and followed her inside. He had to crouch through an opening of a few feet before he could stand. Cara held a small light in her mouth, she called a flashlight, while she lit a lamp. Soon, the soft glow of the lantern bathed the cavern.
The space looked less like a cave and more like a small home. In the center was a circle of stones for a fire and a metal stand over it with a closed pot for cooking. Above him, the natural crevice in the ceiling had been sealed in with mud and a large pipe ran through it providing a vent for the fire.
"My great-great-grandfather lived in this while he built his cabin. My brother and I used to camp here in the summer. Even my daughter spent many weeks in the summer here when she was old enough."
"I expected something quite different."
Whoever lived here wanted to it to feel like a home and not just a hole in the mountain. They extended the cave along the back wall and smoothed the floor. Near the back was a large wooden cabinet. Cara opened it and Fenris saw tins of food stores and a large container of water.
"I try to keep it stocked. It's one of the overnight spots if ranch duties keep us out too long."
Fenris moved to the fire pit. He found plenty of wood stacked near the door, but he found nothing to light it with. If this were Thedas, he would have a stone that sparked when struck or a rune.
"Here, try these, but first, put some of the pine cones under the wood."
He caught the small box Cara tossed him. Inside he found small sticks with one end painted red. She packed a box similar with the provisions a month ago.
"Matches," she said. "strike the head against the black strip or one of the rocks to light them."
He broke the first one. The second flared to life with a hiss and a puff of smoke. The smell of Sulfur filled the air a moment. He held the match to a pine cone and once it caught fire pushed it under the wood with the others. Within moments, flames crawled over the wood. Had he known what the items she had packed where he wouldn't have gone without a fire, huddling in the thick sleeping roll she'd provided instead.
"Interesting," he said. "Your world has many similar things, and yet Thedas has runes to heat water and start fires. These seem inferior."
"Careful, you're starting to sound like you miss magic."
Fenris snorted. "It does have its uses occasionally."
"I'm going to check on the horses." Cara ducked through the short tunnel to the entrance of the cave.
Fenris took the time to study his surroundings. The floor near the fire provided plenty of room for two people to sleep side by side facing the fire. It would be a close fit. He doubted he would sleep at all with her so close.
Cara found the nose-bags empty, and removed them, letting the horses graze at their leisure. Remus curled up against the back of the overhang. He loved the snow and would stay outside unless the temperature dropped too low.
She didn't want to return inside yet. She was far too aware of him in the small space. The line shack wasn't much larger, but there was privacy for sleeping. The more she got to know him, the more she found it harder to ignore what she felt for him. Even if he didn't feel the same, she feared she would give herself away, be vulnerable again.
For the next few hours, there would be nothing to do but talk or sit in awkward silence. She looked forward to neither. Caring for him was a mistake. She already found herself lowering her guard around him. Damn him anyway, for being so polite and a gentleman since he returned. Even when she tried to push him to an angry outburst he controlled his temper. And just a moment ago she had teased him.
What was wrong with her? One minute she wanted to forgive him and the next she was just as mad and hurt as she had been that night. Worse still, were the dreams. He was in them all recently. And not just him but the two of them together with a child. A life she was too old for. Another reminder of what she had lost and could never have again.
She had spent years pushing aside thoughts of finding someone to spend her life with. She learned to be content with her life on the ranch and watching her daughter grow. She had looked forward to grandchildren. But now, none of it was possible. She wrapped her world around her daughter and her horses. With Grace, gone life was empty and meaningless.
"I came to see if you required assistance."
Cara quickly wiped the tear from her cheek. "I'm fine, I was just watching the snow fall. It's getting worse, we should get inside." She walked passed him and back inside the cave.
Fenris followed behind her. He'd grown concerned when she hadn't returned after nearly half an hour. He hadn't missed the tear on her cheek, or the catch in her voice as she walked away. But any comfort from him was unwelcome. Anytime he approached her she closed herself off. He shook his head and followed behind her.
She unrolled a canvas that hung over the door after he entered, sealing the room from the cold outside. The small cave would be warm from just the small fire, in no time at all.
The two men pulled into the ranch just as the snow began to fall. Jess had complained of his knee, said a doozy of a storm was brewing. In the near forty, some years, Harris had known the cowboy, Jess' knee was never wrong. They stopped only to stretch their legs and make sure their charges rode in comfort. The two stock horses had been gifts from Cara soon after she had taken over the ranch. With the money her father and grandfather before him had left them both, neither man had to work again. But Cara was as much their little girl as she had been her father's. As long as they could still ride, rope and wrangle the two men would work for her.
"You think they made it to the shack in time?" Harris asked while he opened the door to the silver horse trailer. A whinny of impatience greeted them.
"If not, she should have been close enough to the cave. It'll be quite cozy once they get a fire going."
"I know it ain't my place, but she's got no sense taking a greenhorn out ahead of a storm."
Jess pushed back his hat a bit and resettled it. "I never was much good on figuring out what a woman was thinking. She sounded different on the phone."
"I wouldn't know; you always hog the cell phone."
"Oh, you'd just be playing that Candy Crushen game. Or them Angry Pigeons."
Harris shook his head. "You was in a hurry to get here, been acting worried about her all day and now you act like it's no big deal."
"I'm still worried, but not about the storm. Miss Cara is as sweet as can be, but she cain't always tell a decent guy from an ass. What if this one is a no good snake, like Dan?"
"She's sweet, but she's mighty stubborn. Sean's been introducing her to friends and clients he trusts for years. She's too afraid of getting hurt again to be charmed by a smile and a few kind words. 'Sides she's got Remus with her." Harris led his sorrel to the stable. Jess followed behind. "I just can't figure why she would take 'em out knowing we'd be here tonight and could go in the morning."
"That's what I mean. It ain't like her to be so impulsive. She always waits for us to move the cattle and bring in the three-year-olds. So what's going on that she needed to be so busy? And don't tell me it's 'cause of Grace. It's the first time in four months she ain't talked about that Dragon game she and Grace liked so much."
The snow still hadn't stopped after the food was eaten and cleared away. Cara slipped out to check on the horses again. Fenris offered to help but she shook her head and slipped past the canvas while she drew on her coat.
She felt as if she would be sick. Her nerves were in a tangled mess and her stomach was in knots. She'd found dinner hard to eat, but knew not eating in bad weather wasn't an option. She took a deep breath of mountain air. The clean crispness of it tickled her lungs with the sharp cold. She held it a moment and let out a steamy breath, watching it mix with the falling snow and disappear. She took another, and another until the anxiety eased and her stomach calmed.
She should have waited and let Jess and Harris see to the cattle. Even leaving them another week would give the meadow plenty of time to grow tall enough to support the small herd in the winter. But she'd grown restless the last two weeks. Between the mood swings and the sleepless nights, having Fenris around every day was grating on her usual calm demeanor. She wasn't a prickly person, she preferred humor and encouragement to barbed comments. She had to work hard for most of the snide comments she had thrown at him.
The last six months of stress had taken its toll on her. She had never handled stress well. It caused anxiety, irregularities to her cycle, mood swings, depression and insomnia. Times of extreme stress made her feel sick to her stomach and sometimes dizziness as well. She told herself this was just stress from having Fenris around, and the trauma of losing Grace.
She took one last cleansing breath and turned back to the cave entrance. The snow was too thick and the wind too strong to dare to check on the horses. Remus was with them; they would be fine. No animal familiar with Montana weather would venture out in a storm like this. Everything from the smallest mouse to the cougars and bears would seek shelter.
She shook the snow from her coat, stomped her feet, and brushed it from her hair. "It's worse than before, too risky to get to the horses." She'd forgotten to string a guide rope to the horses. If the snow didn't stop by morning, she would tie one end off at the cave and make her way to the horses. If nothing else, Fenris could pull her back to safety if she lost her way.
He watched the snow fall from her hair, but some still clung to her eyelashes. She blinked and a flake fell to her cheek, melting in an instant. Some melted snow from her hair dripped down the side of her throat. He wondered how the snow on her skin would taste. Would the faint hint of salt be the same? Would her lips and tongue be cool against his? Without the faint hint of brandy on her breath would her kiss still be as intoxicating as the drink itself?
Her eyes met his and there was a rush of color to her cheeks. He cleared his throat and looked away. This was going to be a long night.
She grew quiet and sullen since she returned to the cave. He struggled to drag her into a conversation about her world. She was willing to answer questions that weren't personal, but she changed the subject anytime he brought up her family or her past.
Cara fell asleep sitting against the wall of the cave. He expected her to wake when he moved her to the bedroll he laid out for her, but she slept on. He placed the bedrolls with their heads nearest the fire and he brought a few logs close to keep the fire going throughout the night and the small cave warm.
He lay awake listening to her breathe. The rhythmic breaths were hypnotic and he fell asleep with his thoughts filled of her.