The morning after was most always the hardest part. Didn't matter if it was drinking, a fight with someone, or a hard sleep, when you wake up you feel the worst. People turn to coffee or medicine. Some run straight back to what made them feel awful in the first place. Others just stare at nothing. Sorting through memories and thoughts. They were coping. Then there are others who stay sleeping, staying away from the morning for as long as possible. From behind the little marble counter I could see it all. Sam sat alone, almost buried in books about ancient magic, surrounded by notebooks, pens, and half filled mugs of various drinks. Next him what looked like half their library was balanced precariously between two chairs. He was here when I arrived, giving no more than a grunt in greeting when I stumbled into the kitchen. It was about 5 minutes later that he fully processed who had entered. His eyes grew large and latched on to me as I pulled out the frying pan, flooding with questions he had been stewing over since he sat down 30 minutes earlier. They were never asked. He turned back to his work, giving me a glance and small smile when I brought him a mug of coffee. He'll probably be there when I leave, still pouring over books trying to figure out the answers to questions without any. That made me smile. Dean joined us next, golden hair sticking up at odd angles resembling a hedgehog in many ways. He was still asleep in his mind. Moving like a zombie he got himself coffee then collapsed into a chair opposite Sam. It did not escape my notice that he grabbed the strongest coffee they had and smuggled several caffeine pills into the sludge. It was drunk black. From my angle, the bandages wrapped under a thin blue sleep shirt were painfully obvious. He didn't look at me. He didn't look at Sam. He just stared, sipping at his coffee, unable or unwilling to look at last night. That was alright, I didn't want to talk about it either. I pulled out a pot and began to fill it with water, the cutting board and knives already on the counter. The last to join our silent breakfast gang was Merlin. He inched his way inside, drinking up the whole room with wide cerulean eyes. He looked so much like a lost child that in any other circumstances it might have been funny. Deep shadows hugged the underside of his eyes, writing a story most knew how to read. He hadn't slept at all last night. Behind him, through the open door, I could see Arthur, nestled in blankets, asleep. Only the gentle rise and fall of his chest would hint that he was alive. After a moment he inched inside, stealing uncertain glances at the Winchesters before locking on to the floor while making his way over to me. He reached around me to grab a carrot and knife and began cutting. He still hadn't made prolonged eye contact with anyone. I nudged him while reaching for the lentils. He did look at me. Barely. Its okay. He turned away and shook his head ever so slightly. No its not, I hurt them. Its my fault. I just kind of collapsed in on my self at his words. I made him look at me again by grabbing his hand under the counter. It was cold. Its not your fault. This time he did make eye contact with me. He didn't believe me. He turned back to the counter and began cutting again, each cube precise and perfect. We worked in tandem to make a huge pot of lentil soup, my personal favorite, with out saying a word. No one said anything. Only once the pot was simmering over a fire and merlin and I were drying our hands was silence banished from the room. Not surprisingly, dean was the one who broke first.

"alright, I cant take it any more! We gonna talk about this or what?" he exclaimed. The rest of us just stared with varying expressions. Sam was startled, I was resigned to the whole thing, having anticipated its arrival, but Merlin looked pained. Deans gazed traveled accusingly between all three of us

"I would like to know as well." Sam added, turning his inquisitive eyes on us as well. Merlin's hand gripped mine under the table. He always was so much more emotional than me. So much more caring.

" I guess you do deserve an explanation." I took the lead on this one. At least for now. We made our way over to some chairs facing the boys and sat, merlin looking into his lap, me just behind their faces. "what do you want to know?"

"who are you? Really?" dean asked. Straight to the point, kind of brash but with good intentions. Could have been worse I guess.

"well, " Merlin began, surprising me greatly. He was still looking at his lap. "im the warlock Merlin from all the Arthurian legends, master of life and death, right hand man to the once and future king Arthur and Magic its self contained in human form. This," he looked at me, " is my twin sister, created to keep me in check." his eyes bore into mine with memories of our shared past, long before any of this. Before we had grown up. We were 6 and as close as siblings could be. We never did anything without the other. Exploring was our favorite activity. Going new places and seeing new things. It was on one of these excursions that it happened. I had just made a new slingshot and was practicing. Merlin had told me to be careful. Even back then he was more concerned about everything around him but then his concern was raw and untamed. I didn't listen and fired rocks at anything I could see. Trees, branches, leaves, bushes. Then I hit a bird nest. It came tumbling down and his the ground with several cracks. It had been filled with chicks not yet learned how to fly. Merlin couldn't handle it, the violent death, at such a raw age when everything was big and harsh. That was the first time his magic took control. It saw me as the one to blame. That was the last day I saw him. The golden waves crashing out of him at me. I ran and never stopped running.

"What?" dean exclaimed, pulling me out of the memory, drawing both Merlin's and my gaze back

"you know, " I began again, my voice getting slower as if talking to a child, " Merlin. From the Arthurian legends."

"but that happened over 1500 years ago and as far as I know, Merlin was not immortal." dean scoffed, leaning back in his chair

"neither was Arthur." Sam interjected, having caught on a little faster than his brother. Dean of course gaped at him, then us again.

"he's king Arthur?" the blond gasped, jerking his thumb behind him. If there had been any malice in his voice it was gone. Merlin nodded.

"he's my best friend and he's not immortal." Merlin answered both questions

"he just rose from the dead." I finished for him. It was kind of strange. After being apart for centuries then finally being reunited we were already finishing each others sentences. I smiled slightly. Dean was grinning like a school boy. Who knew he was a fanboy of Arthur as well. Sam apparently.

"Dean calm down." dean gave his brother the puppy dog eyes. Turning back to me, Sam continued." I didn't know Merlin had a sister, let alone a twin. Its not documented anywhere."

"when we were young there…well, there was an accident. I ran away because of it and never came back. " Merlin looked relived as I spoke, probably because I didn't say everything. The truth, that's all it was in my mind. An accident. So that was what I would tell them. Dean was still starring over his shoulder at Arthur with a goofy grin. I could almost see the question forming on his lips and addressed it before he could make a single sound. "yes dean, you can get an autograph when he wakes up. Now can we get back to a more series topic." it almost hurt me to watch his inner child stand speechless and in tears behind his eyes. Almost. Sam just grinned like any sibling does when the other gets scolded.

"so, are you immortal or reincarnated like Arthur back there?" the giant inquired like the professional hunter he was although the grin was still there .

"not sure," merlin began, looking around as if the answers would be hidden under one of the many books or around a corner somewhere. " we're probably going to live as long as magic does but I don't really know." he glanced at me to see if I had anything to add. "I know if I die then I come back about 5 to 10 minutes later and its really painful." He mumbled the last sentence to his lap, focused on removing the lint from his jeans. Something dawned on me and i swatted merlin on the back of his head.

"that was you?! I felt those deaths and they hurt." I punched him in the arm hard enough to bruise, " you ass" he ducked out of the way, snorting lightly.

"Sorry, but when you are on the run and the only way out it off a cliff, kinda hard to do anything about it." He shrugged, getting lost in the moment for a second. It was good to see him at least slightly happy after all this time.

" so where did you learn how to fight?" Sam asked after a moment, wanting to get everything he could out of the conversation.

" it's something you pick up after a while. Trained under a couple people for a while but really it was the fact that I got into so many bar fights and was running from the law so much that my punch got good." I winked at dean who gave me a knowing smile. Sam nodded, glanced at Dean, then rolled his eyes. Merlin glanced over his shoulder at Arthur.

"Can we be done for now? I want to see it Arthur is ok." He asked gently, already inching off his seat. Dean nodded and stood as well.

"Can I join you? It would be so cool to officially meet King Arthur." They walked off together, chatting. "What was it like being his adviser?"

"Well, I was actually his servant."

"What, come on."

Sam snorted at his brother once they disappeared into the room then looked back at me and smiled.

"So…" he began. "What were you two cooking? It smelled amazing. Almost as good as dean's food."

I grinned

"It's lentil soup, one of my favorites. It's either that or the fried rice in 1860s Thailand." We both laughed and for a moment, one glittering moment, I thought things might actually turn out well. But then again, When do things actually go as I think they will.

Okayy, I am so sorry y'all that this took so long to update. Pls I hope you'll forgive me and I'm sorry to say I don't know when the next update will come but it will be sooner than this last one.