Matthew's stress had completely melted away. He and Gilbert were relaxing on the couch and chatting away like old friends. The conversation was innocent enough, aside from a few flirty comments. Matthew barely stuttered or blushed throughout the conversation, and he even got comfortable enough to flirt a bit. A plate of brownies sat on the coffee table, but the pair was too focused on each other to eat them. After an hour of talking, they started to talk about their love lives. Matthew admitted that he knew nothing about dating. Gilbert replied, "You're kidding, right? How could a guy like you not be drowning in dudes?"

Matthew giggled and replied, "Seriously, I've barely dated."

"Well, you seem like a pro to me."

"I must be a good actor, then. The last time I dated was in high school."

"I never would have guessed it. I mean, it's not every day that a newbie scores a guy like me." He flexed one arm. Matthew laughed again. "Okay, but seriously, why haven't you been into dating?" Gilbert said.

"That's just because I haven't really tried. Plus, I normally get all anxious around strangers. Makes it pretty hard to get to know somebody, you know? To be honest, I was really nervous the first time I met you. But then that calming vibe of yours sunk in, and I just kinda…" Matthew trailed off.. He feared that he'd say something regrettable if he kept going. The apartment grew quiet, but the silence was not uncomfortable. Gilbert looked into Matthew's eyes. His expression was somewhere between flirty and nervous.

"I'm glad you decided to spend more time with me," he said. He put his hand on Matthew's knee. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before he added, "I know we've only known each other for a little while, but I think I'm falling in love with you."

This was when Matthew would normally have gotten flustered. He should have been blushing and stumbling over his words, but he totally calm. He said, "I feel the same way," and put his palm against Gilbert's cheek. The look on Gilbert's face was priceless. He looked like he was about to cry from joy. "Can I kiss you?" Matthew asked.

"Of course." Matthew closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Gilbert's. His body relaxed as he let his partner take the lead. Gilbert krept one hand up Matthew's thigh, stopping an inch before the leg of his shorts. He rested his other hand on Matthew's shoulder. He broke the kiss for just a moment to ask, "Can I go a little further?" This was when Matthew finally started to get embarrassed. His cheeks felt hot. He nodded and shut his eyes tighter. Gilbert kissed him once more, this time with his lips parted. His tongue met Matthew's for the first time, causing both of their faces to turn red. Matthew tensed up at first, but he soon started to enjoy himself. Kissing Gilbert felt so surreal. It was everything he could have ever hoped for.

It almost felt like a dream.

Shame hit Matthew like a truck. Faint memories of that dirty, disgraceful dream came back. All of the joy drained from his body. He broke away from Gilbert. He wanted to apologize so badly. He looked down at his legs and muttered, "Sorry." Gilbert took his hand off Matthew's thigh. He looked a bit hurt, but he was trying hard to hide it.

"You alright, Mattie?" he asked.

"I- I just remembered something. I'll be right back, okay?" Matthew said. He stood up and rushed to his bedroom. He shut the door behind him and leaned against it. Oh, god, why was this happening? Everything was going so well, and he just had to fuck it all up. He groaned and hid his face in his palms. How was he going to come back from this disaster? Gilbert probably wanted to go home. Matthew shook his head. Negativity wasn't going to help. What he needed was to calm down, go back to Gilbert, and figure it out from there.

"In ten seconds, I'll be calm," he whispered to himself. He took in a deep breath.

1, 2, 3… Everything was fine.

4, 5, 6… He could still save this date.

7, 8, 9… The dream was nothing to worry about.

10.

He let out his breath and tried to push out all his worries with it. It was all going to be alright. He didn't have to be physical to have a nice date. He could just avoid anything sexual until the dream faded from his memory. Yeah, that would probably work. He faced the door. His nerves still bothered him a bit, but he managed to repress them enough to function. He walked back into the living room. "Sorry about that," he said. Gilbert was still on the couch. He smiled at the sight of Matthew, but his true feelings were clear. Matthew sat down next to him. He sighed. "Look, I really do like you. You're everything I want in a guy and more. I want to be with you, honestly, but..." He trailed off as his nerves returned.

Gilbert's face fell. "But what?" he asked.

"I- I can't sleep with you. There's a lot going on, and it's all happening so fast. I'm just not ready to go that far. I'm sorry." Gilbert stared at him silently. Matthew's heart pounded. He was so afraid of what Gilbert thought that he didn't dare look at his face. He bit his lip. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Gilbert was shaking his head.

"Geeze, Mattie, you really do apologize too much. I don't mind taking things slow. It's your choice, after all," he said.

"Ah, sorry."

"There you go again!" Gilbert chuckled and gave Matthew a pat on the shoulder. "You're too cute, man." Matthew's face lit up. He leaned against Gilbert's shoulder.

"You too," he said.