Chapter 2: A Day With Uncle Jack, What To Inspect When You're Expecting, Open Mouth And Insert Foot
Title: A Day With Uncle Jack
Rating: T
Summary: Good ol' Uncle Jack Harkness steals John for a day. What's the worst that could happen?
Takes Place when John is three years old
7:00 AM
With a young son to raise, Clara and the Doctor were very busy keeping an eye on him during their adventures, which had gotten a little safer since their child was born. John was a very energetic child. Sometimes that energy led to trouble. Even the best behaved three year olds sometimes get into trouble. That meant that Clara or the Doctor, or sometimes both of them, had to keep an eye on John pretty much at all times. It was their focus on the time tot that left them very little time to themselves. The sexual tension onboard the TARDIS was at an all-time high. Clara and the Doctor neededsome alone time and they needed it badly. The opportunity for such a thing came at a surprising time and from a surprising source. At the time, the Doctor had lifted John up and was examining him for any sign of injury. John was injury-free and quite clean. That couldn't be said about the console room. Half the console room was covered in honey. "Where did you even get this much honey?" Clara asked
"Alien bee farm." the Doctor replied, grimacing at the sticky mess. "I saved them from giant, flesh-eating flying slugs and they insisted on repaying me. With honey."
"Did you have to take all of it?" Clara asked.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time." the Doctor said defensively.
Suddenly, there was the sound of a knock on the TARDIS' door. "I'll get it." Clara sighed.
The young mother walked over to the door and opened it. She was immediately greeted by a loud, "Clara!"
"Don't touch me, Jack!" Clara held out her hands to keep the man at bay. "we have a bit of a sticky situation in here."
Jack waggled his eyebrows and Clara rolled her eyes. "Not that kind of sticky situation, Jack."
"Maybe I can help." Jack offered. "I'll need a little something in return."
Clara frowned at Jack. Having guessed accurately what was going through the woman's mind, Jack quickly said, "Not that, Clara. Besides, the Doctor would murder me if I tried. No, I want something else. It won't be too much, I swear."
"Who is it?" the Doctor called out
"It's Jack!" Clara replied. "He's going to help with the mess!"
"He'd better not make it worse!" the Doctor groused.
"Doc," Jack said sincerely, "I'll just help. I promise, I won't flirt. Much. I'll probably just stare at your ass."
"You can look, but don't touch." Clara said with a smirk. "That particular part of the Doctor's anatomy belongs to me."
"Clara!" the Doctor admonished.
"Sorry." Clara sighed. "It just sort of slips out lately."
A concerned look appeared on Jack's face. He asked, "Just how long has it been since you and the Doctor last got it on?"
"That's not really any of your business." Clara replied with a clear note of annoyance in her voice.
"That long, huh?" Jack said sympathetically.
"Just shut up and help us clean up this mess if you plan on coming inside." The Doctor groused.
Jack nodded and entered the TARDIS, after which Clara shut the door behind him. True to his word, the captain spent two hours helping his friends clean up the honey. When all was said and done, Jack had still managed to stay clean. The Doctor and Clara, however, were absolutely coated with honey. Jack took one look at them and said, "You two look like you could use a shower."
"He's right, I suppose." the Doctor said. He then turned to Clara and added, "You can shower first. I'll shower after you. One of us has to keep an eye on John."
Jack smiled and said, "Maybe I could keep an eye on John and you two can shower together?"
The captain finished that sentance with a wink. The Doctor and Clara both looked at Jack with a bit of unease in their eyes. Jack smiled again and said, "Come on, you can trust Uncle Jack. I just want to steal Johnny for a few hours. You two can have some alone time while I'm with him."
"Jack..." Clara sighed.
"Look, I haven't spent the day with Johnny in a while." Jack said pleadingly. "Just for today. I promise I'll have him back by sunset."
The Doctor and Clara looked at eachother. They were both silent for a moment before, finally, the Doctor folded his arms over his chest and frowned. Clara sighed and said, "All right, take him. Bedtime is at eight o'clock. Have him back before then."
"Got it." Jack replied. "I'll just take him, then."
"Not yet." Clara said abruptly. "You need a few things."
Clara left and, a few minutes later, returned with a fully packed bag. "At eleven o'clock, John eats his lunch. After that, he takes a nap for one hour. Make sure to play a song from his Alice Cooper CD or he'll never go to sleep. After his nap, he gets to watch Frozen and have a snack. He'll need help putting on his Elsa dress. He has to wear the dress when he sings along to Let It Go."
Jack gave Clara a funny look and Clara elaborated, "Three-year-old logic. He loves apples, but the slices have to be in multiples of four. After snack time, play one-on-one with him. Supper is at six o' clock. John isn't too picky. He'll eat just about anything as long as it doesn't have fish in it. As long as he doesn't get too messy, bath time can wait until he gets home."
Jack took the bag and looked down at the wide, innocent-looking brown eyes of John Smith Oswald. The captain reached down and ruffled the boy's curly brown locks. "You'll have fun with Uncle Jack, won't you, kiddo?" Jack said fondly.
"Yep!" John said cheerfully.
Clara knelt down to the three-year-old's level and said, "Behave for Uncle Jack, all right, John?"
John nodded and said, "Okay, Mummy."
Clara stood up and watched Jack lead her son away. She looked at the Doctor, who was also watching the two walk off. The Doctor then looked at Clara. The petite brunette smiled and said, "How do you think he'll manage with John?"
The Doctor scoffed and said, "I give him three hours."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
9:30 AM
Jack opened the door to his apartment and led John in. The little time tot swept his gaze over what he immediately saw and headed in to explore. Further inside the apartment, a phone began to ring. Jack headed over to answer it. "Hello?"
A female voice on the other end cried, "Sugar Bear!"
Jack imediately hung up. He turned around to see John, who was watching him with those huge brown eyes of his. Jack smiled at his 'nephew' and said, "So, Johnny, what's on the agenda?"
John shrugged and asked, "Can I have sweets?"
Jack shook his head and said, "It's too early for sweets, Johnny."
"I want sweets!" John insisted
"Well, you can't have any." Jack replied.
The captain paused for a second to watch John fold his arms over his chest and pout. An idea began to form in Jack's mind. Quickly, he knelt down to John's level and said, "I have a cool idea, Johnny. How about I show you how to make my infamous disappearing chocolate chip cookies?"
John grinned and said, "Yes! I love chocolate!"
"All right, then." Jack said with a matching grin. "Let's get started."
Jack preheated the oven. He then donned a frilly pink apron started assembling the recquired ingredients for his chocolate chip cookies. He also got out a stand mixer, some bowls, and a few other tools. He slid a chair up to the counter so John could reach. "All right," Jack said, "First we sift the dry ingredients."
John nodded and held the sifter over the bowl. As he sifted the dry ingredients, the three-year-old succeeded in getting most of the dry ingredients on himself, the counter, all over Jack, and the floor. John looked at the tiny amount of flour and other things in the bowl and frowned. His lip trembling slightly, he looked up at his Uncle Jack. Jack looked at the bowl and said, "Well, we can always put more in. Do you want me to do it or do you think you can do it?"
"I want to do it." John said insistantly.
John was given a second chance. This time, he got most of it into the bowl. "All right." Jack said as he fitted the stand mixer with a paddle attachment. "Next we cream the butter. Johnny, can you put the butter in the mixer and turn it on?"
"Okay." John said.
John dumped the butter into the mixer and looked at the buttons with a frown on his face. He then looked down at his feet sadly and mumbled something. Jack wasn't able to catch it. "Speak up, Johnny. I can't hear you." he said.
"I can't read." John said sadly.
"Oh." Jack said. He mentally smacked himself before pointing at the 'on' button. "This is it."
John quickly turned the mixer on and watched the device beat the butter until it was smooth. "Now we add the sugar." Jack instructed.
Jack took a scoop of sugar and handed it over to John, who, very slowly and very carefully, put it in the mixer before turning it back on. After a while, the mixture was light and fluffy. "What now?" John asked.
"Now we add the eggs," Jack said, "one at a time."
Jack took over this one, cracking a few eggs into the still-running mixer. "Now we add the vanilla extract." Jack continued. "John, can you hand me the brown bottle?"
"Okay." John said with a smile as he handed the bottle of vanilla extract to his uncle.
Jack added a teaspoon and a half of vanilla extract to the mixture. "Is it ready to cook yet?" John asked.
"Not yet." Jack replied. "It is time to add half the flour, though."
John nodded and, with a great deal of help from Jack, poured half the bowl of flour into the mixer. Once it was mixed together, Jack poured the rest of the flour into the mixer. After it all was mixed together, Jack turned off the mixer and scraped the dough from the batter into the mixing bowl. "Are we going to add the chocolate chips?" John asked.
"Yep." Jack said. "It's chocolate time!"
Jack opened the package of chocolate chips and allowed John to pour the package into the dough. Then the immortal man folded the chocolate chips into the dough. Then, he got out a couple cookie pans and a pair of miniature ice cream scoops. Jack sprayed the pan with some non-stick spray before showing John how to scoop the dough onto the tray. Together, the two males filled the cookie sheets. Once that was done, Jack put the cookies in the oven. "When are they going to be ready?" John asked.
"In about twelve minutes." Jack replied, setting the timer on his oven. "What do you want to do until then?"
"Can we play hide and seek?" John asked.
"That's fine with me." Jack answered.
And so, the most epic game of hide and seek ever to occur between immortal human uncle and time tot nephew in said uncle's apartment took place. For the next twelve minutes, John exhibited superb hiding skills which were only matched by Jack's seeking skills. Of course, Jack deliberately didn't find John a few times. Alas, the fun had to come to an end when the timer went off. Jack removed the cookies from the oven and let them rest for a few minutes before transferring them to a baking rack to cool. "When can we have the cookies?" John asked.
"When it's snack time." Jack replied. "Now I need to get started on your lunch."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
11:00 AM
One bath later, John was sitting at the table in his booster seat when Jack set the boy's plate down in front of him. John poked at it with his fork and asked, "What is it?"
"It's Uncle Jack's famous mac 'n cheese and southern-style fried chicken." Jack replied. "With glazed carrots."
John wrinkled his nose at the veggies and said, "I hate carrots."
Jack groaned internally. Clara had told him that John only hated fish. Had she neglected to tell him something? Jack ate his own food, periodically glancing at John to monitor his progress. The time tot was digging into his mac 'n cheese and his chicken with gusto. He nearly cleared his plate. All that was left was the carrots. "Johnny, eat your carrots." Jack instructed.
"No." John said as he folded his arms over his chest.
"Just eat them. They're not going to bite." Jack said, trying a bit of humor.
"On Zelvan VII, carrots do bite." John informed his uncle.
"Well, these are ordinary Earth carrots." Jack said with a smile. "No alien gene splicing or anything."
"I don't like carrots." John insisted.
"John, just eat your carrots." Jack said with a frown.
"No." John said, pouting.
"John, eat your carrots." Jack said firmly.
"No!" John snapped.
"You're not getting up until there aren't any more carrots at the table." Jack said, deciding to put his foot down.
John pouted for a second before an idea ran through his head. He placed his hand on the edge of his plate and started sliding it towards the edge of the table. Jack, quickly catching on, said, "Don't even think about it."
John slid the plate further and Jack said with a deep frown, "Don't you dare."
With an innocent yet defiant look on his face, the three-year-old pushed the plate off of the table. It broke in half upon hitting the floor. "Damn it, John!" Jack barked.
"No more carrots on the table." John said with an innocent-looking smile.
"You are going to the time-out corner." Jack said, picking John up from where he sat and carrying him away.
John kicked and struggled and screamed, but Jack did not relent. He carried John over to a corner in the room and placed him there. "You are staying there for three minutes to think about what you've done." Jack said firmly.
"I don't want to!" John whined.
"John Smith Oswald..." Jack said warningly.
His full name. John pouted and stood in the corner, facing the wall. He stewed over it for three minutes. He did start to feel bad after a while. He had promised that he would be good for Uncle Jack. When the three minutes were up, Jack returned to John and knelt down at his level. "John, look at me." Jack instructed.
John obediently turned around to face his uncle. Jack kept his voice calm and even as he said, "Now, I'd like you to apologize for breaking my plate and making a mess."
John's huge brown eyes focused on Jack. The three-year-old quietly said, "I'm sorry, Uncle Jack."
Jack reached over and gave the boy a hug. He then backed away a bit and said, "All right, then. You're forgiven. You're still going to have to eat some carrots, though."
John pouted and folded his arms over his chest. "Do I have to?" he whined.
"Yes." Jack replied.
John sighed and headed back over to the table. He climbed back up into his booster seat and watched Jack set another serving of carrots in front of him. John eyed the carrots balefully. Jack smiled at his nephew and said, "Just eat three good-sized big-boy bites. After you've had three big-boy bites, you can get down from the table."
John nodded and picked up his fork. He stabbed a few carrots before scooping them into his mouth. A look of disgust formed on his face as he chewed on the reviled vegetables. He then swallowed and repeated the action twice more. He looked at Jack and said, "I had three big-boy bites."
"All right, then." Jack replied. "I'll clean up and do the dishes. You can play that, er, football game on the Xbox One."
John nodded and headed into the living room to play the game. Jack sighed and started putting the food away. As he packed up the last of the food, the captain muttered under his breath, "Kids."
oooooooooooooooooooo
12:30 PM
It was halfway through John's nap and Jack was in the recliner, having nodded off for a bit. Suddenly, he was woken up by the sound of a crash in the kitchen. Bolting upright, he dashed into the kitchen to see what was the matter. Sitting on the counter was John, with a screwdriver in his hand. In front of him were parts to Jack's disassembled blender. The glass part of the blender was shattered on the kitchen floor. His big, brown eyes showing no ill intent, John said innocently, "I wanted to see how it worked."
"You wanted to see how it worked?" Jack deadpanned.
"Uh-huh." John replied, nodding his head.
Jack groaned and smacked himself in the forehead. He should have expected this from the Doctor's offspring. Jack grabbed a broom and dust pan and started sweeping up the glass before throwing it away. With the ground safe, the captain picked John up and set him down on the floor. Jack then pointed at the corner and said, "Time-out corner. Three minutes. Now."
John pouted and said, "Fine!"
Three minutes later, Jack explained to John that it wasn't nice to take other people's things apart with a screwdriver. With the lesson hopefully learned, Jack sent John back to the sofa to take a nap. Jack sighed. This was harder than he had thought it would be.
oooooooooooooooooooooo
1:50 PM
It was a bit into Frozen and it had finally reached Let It Go. John was sitting in front of the television in his Elsa dress, singing along to the song in his soft child's voice. Jack sat next to the boy on the couch, watching the movie with a smile on his face. Since the movie had started, John had barely budged. He was incredibly well-behaved at the moment, watching the movie and quietly eating his cookies and milk. Jack was very pleased with this. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. John sat up straight and said. "I'll get it!"
"No, I'll get it."Jack replied. "You stay here and watch Frozen."
John sighed and turned to watch the movie once more. Jack headed over to the door and opened it. "Hello, I-"
"Sugar Bear!"
Jack's eyes opened wide, horror-struck at the sight in front of him. Standing outside his apartment was a platinum blonde woman with sapphire eyes and very large breasts- probably fake, knowing her. Jack forced a smile and said, "Debbie. Hi."
"I tried to call, Sugar Bear, but you accidentally hung up." Debbie said, her ruby red lips pursed.
"I-" Jack tried to talk to her, but the woman interrupted him.
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Debbie asked.
"Now might not be a good time." Jack replied. "I'm watching my three-year-old nephew and-"
"Ooh, I love babies!" Debbie cooed.
The woman forced her way past a helpless Jack and headed into the living room. When she saw the curly-haired child in a dress, Debbie frowned and said, "I thought you said that your nephew was here."
"That is my nephew." Jack said, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice.
"Why is he wearing a dress?" Debbie asked.
"He needs to wear his Elsa dress to watch Frozen." Jack answered.
"Why?" Debbie asked.
"Three-year-old logic." Jack explained. "I don't know how his mind works. I just know that he likes it."
John turned to look at Debbie and smiled. "Hi. I'm John Smith Oswald." the boy introduced himself. "No hyphen."
"His middle name is Smith?" Debbie questioned before adding, "That's stupid."
"Is not." John grumbled under his breath, but Debbie didn't seem to hear him.
When the little boy noticed the expression of utter frustration on Jack's face, he asked, "Uncle Jack, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Jack replied. "I just need to go into the kitchen for a second to think."
John nodded and watched his uncle walk away. When he was in the kitchen, Jack walked up to the wall and hit his forehead against it repeatedly. With every hit, Jack hissed, "Damn!"
Once he had gotten all of the damns out of his system, he walked to the doorway to look into the living room. Debbie was sitting next to John. "What are you eating?" she asked.
"Milk 'n Uncle Jack's infamous disappearing chocolate chip cookies." John replied.
"Oh." Debbie said, looking at the cookies as if they were something disgusting. "You shouldn't eat those."
"Why not?" the innocent John asked.
"You'll get fat." Debbie answered.
"No, I won't." John replied. "The Doctor says that I have a fast metabanism."
"Yes, you will." Debbie insisted in a concerned manner. "You'll get super fat and no one will love you. No one loves a fatty-fat-fat face."
John's face fell and he looked like he was about to cry. "No one?" he whimpered.
"No one." Debbie confirmed. "You're already at risk. I mean, look at how chubby you are."
Jack scowled. His nephew wasn't chubby. Sure, he had a bit of baby fat, but he wasn't chubby. Jack cleared his throat, causing John and Debbie to turn to look at him. Jack frowned and said, "Debbie, may I have a word with you in the kitchen?"
"All right." Debbie replied.
Jack sighed and looked at John. "Hey, Johnny." the captain said. "Are you enjoying your cookies? You did such a good job helping make them."
John smiled a little and nodded. "Can I keep eating them?" he asked.
"Sure." Jack replied. "I'll just talk to Miss Debbie in the kitchen."
John nodded and returned his attention to the movie. Jack led Debbie into the kitchen. Once they were out of the three-year-old's attention range, Jack turned to Debbie and asked, "Were you really just body-shaming a three-year-old?"
"It wasn't body-shaming, silly! Somebody needs to talk to him about child obesity." Debbie said innocently, without the slightest trace of malice.
"I don't think we'll have to worry about that with John." Jack responded. "The kid has a crazy-high metabolism. He'll probably be hungry again in ten minutes."
Debbie smiled and said, "Okay, Sugar Bear. If you think that it's right."
Jack groaned and said, "Debbie, don't call me that."
"You're silly." Debbie giggled, booping Jack on the nose.
Jack groaned as Debbie walked back into the living room. Suddenly, a woman's scream sounded. Jack hurried into the living room. Debbie was livid and horrified. When Jack saw what she was looking at, he burst into laughter. John was sitting there, innocent as can be, next to Debbie's open purse. The three-year-old had Debbie's compact in hand and was happily applying blush to his face. He already had an excessive amount of red lipstick on his face in addition to some green eyeshadow and sloppily-applied mascara. The time tot turned to the two adults and asked, "Do I look pretty?"
Debbie turned to Jack and asked, "Aren't you going to do something?"
Jack tried to stop to talk but the pause didn't last. He looked at John and once again burst into laughter. It took him a moment to gain control of himself, but Jack was finally able to reply, "You look very pretty, Johnny."
"He's wearing my makeup!" Debbie hissed. "Do something!"
Jack was barely able to keep a straight face as he looked Directly at John and said, "Johnny, it's not nice to use other people's makeup without asking."
"Time-out corner?" John asked.
Jack thought about it for a second before shaking his head and answering, "Nah. Just finish your cookies, Johnny."
John smiled at his uncle before returning his attention to his snack. Debbie turned to Jack and asked, "Why didn't you punish him?"
"Kids will be kids." Jack said with a shrug.
"What if he turns into a girly man?" Debbie asked.
"He probably won't." Jack replied. "I tried my mother's makeup on when I was a little boy and I grew up to be a manly man."
A manly man who sometimes sleeps with other men, Jack thought humorously. Debbie smiled and said, "If you insist, Sugar Bear. How about I stay for dinner?"
Jack was about to say no when an idea suddenly formed in his head. With a plan in mind, the captain smiled and said, "That would be wonderful."
ooooooooooooooooooooo
6:00 PM
Jack whistled merrily as he set the plates down on the table. It was good, old fashioned spaghetti and meatballs. John looked overjoyed but Debbie looked skeptical. "That's a lot of spaghetti." the woman said with a frown. "I don't want to get fat."
"You'll be fine, Debbie." Jack sighed. He reached over and grabbed a pair of wine glasses. "How about some wine?"
"Wine is good." Debbie said with a smile, accepting the glass of red wine.
"I want some!" John cried.
Jack rolled his eyes and walked over to the fridge. He took out a bottle of grape juice and poured some into a wine glass. He then handed it to the excited three-year-old. John happily sipped his 'wine' and ate his spaghetti. Debbie quickly downed her wine before turning her attention to her spaghetti. After a few minutes, the platinum blonde smiled and said, "This is actually pretty goo-"
Suddenly, Debbie's head fell forward into the spaghetti. John looked alarmed until Debbie began to snore. Jack pulled Debbie's head out of the spaghetti and pulled her chair back. "What happened?" John asked.
"Uncle Jack did a naughty thing." Jack replied.
"Why is she sleeping?" John inquired innocently.
"John, do not ever drug a woman." Jack instructed.
The captain wanted to get Debbie's unconscious body as far away from his home as he could. Still, he thought as he glanced at John, he couldn't leave John alone. Jack sighed and said, "Come on, Johnny. Follow me to the car."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
8:00 PM
Jack had driven as far as he could in two hours before finally stopping. He oppened the door and picked up the still-unconscious Debbie. He briefly searched for a place to set her before finally dropping her unceremoniously into a large pile of garbage. He then returned to the car to look at an alert John, who was sitting in a carseat. "Let us never speak of this." Jack instructed.
John nodded and asked, "Is it time to go home?"
"Yep." Jack replied. "It's time to take you back to your mother and father."
"Okay." John said with a smile.
Jack got back into the car and started it back up. He spent the next two and a half hours driving until finally he was near the area where the TARDIS was parked. John was about to knock on the door when the ship suddenly opened the door herself. With John's hand in his, Jack walked in. The Doctor and Clara were waiting impatiently for their return. Jack noted to his amusement that the Doctor had a hickey on his neck. "I have brought your beloved time tot back." Jack anounced.
The Doctor seemed surprised that Jack was only slightly messy. Clara walked over to John and scooped him up. "Did you have fun with your Uncle Jack?" she asked.
"Yep!" John replied cheerfully. "Want to know what happened?"
"Sure." Clara said with a smile.
Jack glanced over at the loving scene in front of him before turning and leaving. Just as he was about to exit the time machine, he heard Clara's enraged voice bellow, "JAAAACK! YOU MADE MY SON AN ACCESSORY TO KIDNAPPING!"
Jack could not recall many times when he had run faster from a woman.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Title: What To Inspect When You're Expecting
Rating: M
Summary: Otherwise known as How To Drive A Pregnant Clara Crazy.
Takes Place during weeks 7 and 8 of Unplanned.
Friday, Week 7
Being pregnant was something that still took a bit of getting used to, Clara decided. Normally she wouldn't be afraid, but after Wednesday's fiasco, she would have to make sure to ask the Doctor to make absolutely sure that the planet had no large and/or aggressive predators. She really didn't want to get eaten by something like the cysts of the Thurviglian Jorthax, especially not now that she was pregnant. Clara let out a sigh. She was tired after having spent all night grading tests. The Doctor was currently in her flat, having collapsed from exhaustion. He hadn't slept in a while. As it was, Clara could use a cup of coffee. She set a pot on and the aroma of coffee filled her flat. Once the coffee was ready, Clara was about to pour herself a cup when a familiar voice spoke up from behind her. "Don't even think about it."
The Doctor reached around Clara, grabbed the pot of coffee, and dumpted it down the drain. Clara glared at him and groaned, "Doctor, what was that for?"
"No caffeine for you." the Doctor instructed firmly. "Not while you're pregnant."
"Fine." Clara sighed before pointing away from the kitchen. "Out!"
"No caffeine." the Doctor repeated for emphasis.
"I won't drink any coffee!" Clara snapped. "Just let me fix my breakfast!"
The Doctor watched Clara for a second before turning around to leave. Clara sighed once more and started retrieving ingredients from her refridgerator. Soon she was cooking eggs, over easy. While multi-tasking, she was also creating some hollandaise sauce. When she was done, she poured it over her eggs on the plate. She was reaching for it with her fork when suddenly, the plate was snatched away from her. "No raw or undercooked eggs." the Doctor insisted.
Clara groaned as the Doctor scraped the food into the rubbish bin. The human female grumbled under her breath as she retrieved a carton of orange juice, some kale, and a few fruits. As Clara carried the fruits over to the sink, the Doctor said, "Make sure to wash that produce thoroughly."
"I am!" Clara snapped as she began washing the fruits and kale. Once the fruits and kale were clean, she made sure to peel and pit the fruits before placing them in her blender with the kale and a bit of orange juice. She ran them through the blender until it was smooth. She then poured herself a glass. She glanced over at the Doctor, who nodded approvingly. Clara sighed and drank the vivid green smoothie. This was going to be a long, frustrating pregnancy with the Doctor involved.
oooooooooooooooooooooooo
Week 7, Saturday
As it was with her pregnancy, Clara was feeling a strong craving. This time, it was chips. So, she made her way down to the nearest place where she could get chips. She ordered a big box. When she sat down at a nearby table, she let out a soft moan at the enticing smell of the fried potatoes. This was a long time coming and for some reason she was always craving chips. There was nothing she could do other than get chips when the cravings came. Removing a chip from the box, she was about to pop it into her mouth when a voice suddenly sounded from behind her, causing her to jump a bit. It was the Doctor, who had said, "You shouldn't be eating those things. They're unhealthy for you."
Clara groaned and asked, "How come you can eat them and I can't?"
"I have a different metabolism." the Doctor replied.
"They're not going to kill me or hurt the baby, Doctor." Clara said with a frown.
"As the father of your child, it would be remiss of me to not ensure that you eat healthier food." the Doctor said insistantly.
Clara glared at the Doctor and slid the box of chips away. Well, that was money wasted.
ooooooooooooooooooooo
Sunday, Week 8
Clara walked into the new resturant, Little Chicago. The partner of her good friend Amelia Hernandez, Pavarti Patil, had reccomended it. The place served American food, namely from the city of Chicago. Amelia was always going on about Chicago food and Clara had decided to try it. The woman at the front desk assigned Clara a seat and the impossible girl imediately headed to the seat to sit down and read the menu. A few minutes later, a lovely Asian woman walked up to her table and said, "Hello, my name is Aiko. I'll be your server. What would you like today?"
"I'll have a Coca Cola and a Chicago Dog." Clara replied. Amelia had mentioned Chicago Dogs and Clara was eager to try one.
Once again, the sneaky Doctor's voice sounded from the booth behind her. "She'll have a water and a hamburger, well done."
Clara groaned, "Doctor!"
"No hot dogs while you're pregnant." the Doctor instructed. "It could be full of Listeria bacteria. I'll not have you catch listeriosis."
Clara thought about it for a while before saying, "I'll have what he said."
Aiko smiled and took the menu. "Your burger will be ready in a few minutes."
The server then left. While she was waiting for her burger, Clara glared venomously at the Doctor.
ooooooooooooooooooo
Monday, Week 8
Clara was getting seriously tired of the Doctor interfering with her diet during her pregnancy. So, Clara decided to do some research on what to eat and what not to eat while she was pregnant. She realized to her annoyance that the Doctor had been right. She had been about to eat foods that were bad for the baby. That was why she was currently fixing something healthy: lentils with mango chutney, quinoa, and steamed spinach. Even the Doctor would approve of that. The food smelled good. Clara was rather pleased with herself. Suddenly, she was aware of the wheezing, grinding sound of the TARDIS materializing in her flat. This time, Clara was ready. She turned around with her plate of food in hand and waited for the Doctor to exit the time machine. When he was in sight, Clara said coolly, "Hello, Doctor."
The Doctor sniffed the air and said, "Lentils? What else is it?"
"Mango chutney, quinoa, and steamed spinach." Clara replied.
"You had better not have put anything unhealthy in it." the Doctor said with a frown. "You have a history of trying to fill yourself with things that could negatively affect the, er..."
"The baby." Clara finished the Doctor's sentance. "It's fine."
"Are you absolutely sure?" the Doctor asked. "Maybe I should taste it."
Clara frowned at the Doctor and shifted her plate to just one hand. She then lifted her hand into plain sight and formed her fingers into a very rude hand gesture. The Doctor smirked and said, "I hope you remember that you're going to be someone's mother in eight months."
"Get out." Clara snapped. "You can visit me on Wednesday. You're stifling me! Try visiting me every other day instead of stalking me!"
"I'm not stalking you." the Doctor said with a frown. "I'm just trying to prevent you from-"
"I'll eat healthy!" Clara snapped. "I did my research, now go!"
The Doctor frowned. Suddenly, he lunged forward and dipped his finger into Clara's plate, tasting the food. A surprised look appeared on his face. "It is safe." He murmured.
Clara pointed at the TARDIS and angrily said, "Out!"
The Doctor gave Clara a lingering glance before finally leaving. Clara let out a sigh. She hoped that the Doctor would indeed stop following her around. The man was completely and utterly paranoid.
ooooooooooooooo
Wednesday, Week 8
Clara let out a sigh and leaned back into the sofa. She opened her book and flipped to the page on which she had last left off. This was the book that she had been reading the second time the Doctor had shown up, drugged out of his mind, and seduced her. Her face reddened a little at the heated memory. Speaking of the Doctor seducing her, he hadn't touched her since he had found out that she was pregnant. Clara let out a puff of air. Just because she was pregnant didn't mean that she was made out of sugar. She had needs- needs that weren't being met. Clara was frustrated in more than one way. She sighed and returned her attention back to her book. It was a romance. Romance was also something she was lacking in her life. For the time being, she was fine with that. Every time she tried dating, something went wrong. Danny had died. After Clara had started dating James, the Doctor had seduced her. Clara felt guilty about it, so she thought it would be the best thing to break up with James before he found out that she had cheated on him. She didn't know if he knew. He hadn't shown any sign of knowing at Alicia's wedding. He definitely didn't know that she was pregnant. The people at Clara's work knew that she was pregnant and her students had figured it out. Most of her friends had figured out that she was pregnant. The only people she knew, aside from James, who didn't know about her pregnancy were her family. Clara paused her reading and bit her lip nervously. She would have to tell them sooner or later. She would also have to tell them that the Doctor wasn't, in fact, James. She wasn't sure how well that would go over. All she knew was that she could expect drama.
A wheezing, grinding sound filled Clara's flat. The petite brunette marked her page, sat up, and set the book back down on the low table in front of her sofa. Almost immediately after the TARDIS had finished materializing, the door swung open and the Doctor popped his head out. "Clara!" He said. "I have something to show you."
Not budging from her spot on the sofa, Clara asked, "What is it?"
"You're still getting sick all day, every day, aren't you?" The Doctor asked.
"Of course I am." Clara said flatly. "Sometimes it feels like this baby doesn't want me to eat normal food."
"I've been to Milar III and-" the Doctor ducked back into the TARDIS for a minute or so before emerging with a small box. "-they have a remedy for morning sickness. Or daytime sickness, considering your vomiting isn't limited to mornings. Is it at night, too?"
Clara raised a hand and smacked her forehead. "Doctor, just tell me- does it work on humans?"
"I'm ninety-nine-point-seven-six percent certain that it will be safe for you." the Doctor replied.
"Good." Clara said. "Though I almost expected you to be worried about the remaining point-two-four percent."
The Doctor paused, seeming to think this over. Clara rolled her eyes and said, "Doctor, calm down. It's proably safe. I'll take the medicine."
Clara stood up and walked over to the Doctor. She tried to take it from him, but he was holding it pretty securely. It took Clara a few tugs to yank it free. She opened the box and saw several bottles of pills. She took one out and read the instructions. "Take one pill daily with food." Clara read out loud.
She immediately headed to her kitchen and took a few strawberries out of her refridgerator. She ate some of the fruit before popping a pill into her mouth and swallowing it down with some water. She looked back into the living room to see the Doctor just standing there. Finally, he asked, "What else do you need?"
Clara thought about it for a split second before she realized it: she knew what she wanted. Like any other woman, she had needs. Pregnant or not, she was going to have those needs fulfilled. She marched over to the Doctor, grabbed him by the front of his coat, and yanked him down to crush her mouth against his. Clara practically forced her tongue down his throat before withdrawing and backing away a little. A heated expression on her face, she said in a sultry tone, "I think you know what I need."
"Oh." the Doctor said. He then smirked and, in an amused tone, asked, "Is that all?"
"I have needs, you know." Clara informed the Doctor. "Womanly needs."
"Well, far be it from me to deny those needs." the Doctor replied, his own voice lowering a bit.
"Well, it's high time that you attend to those needs, then." Clara said with a sultry smile.
With that, Clara pushed the Doctor down onto the sofa and straddled his lap. Once more, her mouth was on his. After several minutes of desperate kissing, the Doctor ran his hands down Clara's sides before resting them on her hips. Clara ground herself against the Doctor's groin, causing him to buck his hips up into her. Clara could feel him hardening under his trousers. She continued to grind against him until both of them grew terribly unsatisfied with the friction. Suddenly, the Doctor flipped them over until Clara was lying on the couch and he was on top of her. The Doctor leaned down and began to nibble at Clara's neck before settling on her pulse point and suckling at it. It would leave a mark and that thrilled the Doctor. Clara could only moan at the sensation. Then the two set about removing their clothes until finally they were both clad only in their underwear. When Clara noticed that the Doctor was wearing superhero underpants, she couldn't help but giggle. The Time Lord gave the human a mock glare before setting about removing her bra. Once that was done, he kissed his way down her body before settling at her breast. He sucked a nipple into his mouth, playing with it with his teeth and tongue before releasing it with one last nip. All the while, Clara was panting and holding his head to her breast. The Doctor repeated the action with his companion's other breast before moving down her body further. Clara watched as the Time Lord slid her knickers down her legs before tossing them carelessly over the back of the sofa. He then slung her legs over his shoulders and lowered his head between Clara's legs. When she felt his tongue, she murmured, "Oh, yes."
The Doctor expertly pleasured Clara with his mouth, bringing her close but never quite taking her there. Clara was moaning with pleasure and frustration. When the Doctor stopped, Clara looked down at him. He smiled at her before slipping off and tossing away his own underpants. He then crawled back across the sofa until he was on top of Clara once more. The human female brought a hand up to caress the Time Lord's cheek before pulling him down for another kiss. The kiss was slow, tender, almost loving. That was impossible, though, since there were no romantic feelings between them. Once their lips separated, the Doctor pushed himself into Clara's tight, wet heat. Clara let out a loud gasp and the Doctor let out a moan that sounded like it might have been her name. He just lay there, enveloped in her until finally she decided that she wanted him to move. The Doctor, of course, obliged. Clara's flat was filled with gasps, moans, and the sounds of flesh meeting flesh. She was moaning loudly and the Doctor was even louder as they coupled on the sofa. When one thrust hit particularly deep, Clara let out a loud cry. The Doctor stopped for a moment, about to ask Clara if he had done something wrong but the woman grabbed him by the rear and panted, "Don't stop!"
The Doctor resumed his movement and Clara met him thrust for thrust. He could tell that she was getting close. He increased his pace, bent on taking her to there. With one last thrust, the Doctor felt Clara tighten around him as she came with a cry. He followed not long afterwards, emptying into her with a groan of her name. They both lay there, panting, as the Doctor withdrew his softening length from Clara. He adjusted their position until Clara was on top of him. "That was," Clara said with a pleased smile, "fun."
"Just fun?" the Doctor questioned, raising a brow.
"Well, we could have more fun. I'll still need my womanly needs met again later tonight." Clara said teasingly.
"Bossy." the Doctor said teasingly.
Clara let out a chuckle and replied, "You know it."
And so, they spent the rest of the night fucking on the sofa. It was nearly five in the morning when they finally decided to stop. Clara let out a content sigh as she lay her head against the Doctor's chest. The impossible girl was quiet for a while but eventually said, "Doctor?"
"Hmm?" the Doctor replied quietly.
Clara nuzzled the Time Lord's chest before looking up at him. With a faint smile on her face, Clara said, "I need chips and pickles."
"What- now?" the Doctor questioned, pushing Clara off of his lap.
"Yes, now." Clara replied.
The Time Lord ran a hand through his hair before saying, "You're not going to let up on this, are you."
"Nope." Clara replied. "Now get me some chips and pickles."
"Bossy." the Doctor snorted as he began to put his clothes back on.
"You know it." Clara said with a smile.
Clara went to her bedroom to put on some new clothes. As she dressed herself, she heard the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing. Clara then headed back over to the sofa and sat down, waiting hopefully for the Doctor to return. When he finally did, he did indeed have chips and pickles. He handed them over to Clara, who smiled sweetly and said, "Thank you, Doctor."
"I'll have you know that this is very unhealthy." the Doctor grumbled.
"Oh, shut up." Clara sighed.
Clara ate a few chips before taking a bite out of a pickle. She then pulled a face as chewed and swallowed it. The then addressed the Time Lord. "Doctor?"
"What is it now?" the Doctor groaned.
"You got the wrong pickles." Clara said with heavy irritation in her voice.
The Doctor brought his palm to his face with a soft smack. This was going to be a long, frustrating pregnancy.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Title: Open Mouth And Insert Foot
Rating: M
Summary: After hearing something from James that triggers one of his insecurities, the Doctor says something stupid to Clara. Looks like someone is going to have to sleep on the sofa.
Takes place the first Valentine's Day after Unplanned
Clara rolled off of the Doctor, thoroughly sated, with a huge grin on her face. When the Doctor saw the expression on her face, he feld inordinately pleased with himself. Once again, intimacy had led to a favorable conclusion for both himself and Clara. He had pleased Clara and that had pleased him. By all the forces in the universe, had it pleased him. Sometimes he worried that he wouldn't be able to please her, but he was always able to please her in the end. It was a good thing, too. He didn't think that he would be able to get off unless he could make Clara orgasm. He had accomplished it, of course, which caused him to roll over a bit until he was looking at Clara. "Enjoy yourself?" he said with a smirk.
"It was okay." Clara replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.
"Just okay?" the Doctor questioned, raising a prominent eyebrow.
"What am I supposed to say, 'Oh Doctor, you're so amazing and having you inside me is the best thing ever to happen to me'?" Clara questioned, clearly trying to hold back a wry smirk of her own.
"I wouldn't argue with that." the Doctor replied, still smirking.
Clara laughed and gave the Doctor a gentle swat on the arm. "You are so full of it!" she said as she rolled her eyes.
"Full of what?" the Doctor questioned.
"It's an expression." Clara said with an exasperated sigh.
Ah yes, an expression. One of those things that occasionally went over the Doctor's head, so to speak. At least he was aware of that one. "Meaning?" the Time Lord questioned.
"It means that you have a big ego." Clara explained.
"It's not that big." the Doctor mumbled.
"Doctor," Clara deadpanned, "If your ego was any bigger, it would take up too much room for the TARDIS to materialize."
The Doctor was about to correct Clara when she said, "Not literally, but the fact remains that you can be pretty arrogant."
"I'm not arrogant." the Doctor corrected her. "I'm justifiably confident."
"Admit it." Clara insisted. "You have a big eg-"
The Doctor decided to shut Clara up by pulling her to him and mashing his lips against hers. Clara let out a soft moan, giving the Doctor a very distinct thrill. When they separated, Clara let out a giggle. The Doctor furrowed his brows and was about to ask what she was laughing about. Clara stopped him by pulling him down to her and kissing him again. Thanks to his Time Lord recuperative abilities, the Doctor was hard again. When he leaned down to nip Clara's neck, she giggled again before pulling the sheets over them. It was time for round two.
oooooooooooooooooooooo
The Doctor was performing some repairs on part of the TARDIS. He was crouched down, a small torch held between his teeth as he worked on the parts of the machine he was focused on. Using the torch's light to illuminate the space he was about to stick his hand into, he reached in and connected two wires. He then flipped a switch and the lights in that particular corridor finally came back on. The Time Lord's knees and back creaked as he stood up. They were stiff after the Doctor was crouched for so long. Damn this old body and its noises. He rubbed his sore lower back before turning to head back into the console room. When he arrived, he saw that Clara was using one hand to secure John on her hip and the other to hold the phone. "-and I'll make sure he goes." Clara said. "Good bye."
"Who was it?" the Doctor asked.
"It was Jack." Clara said calmly. "He needed your help with something."
The Doctor groaned and asked, "What has the idiot gotten himself into this time?"
"He wouldn't say." Clara replied. "He just says that he needs you to meet him," the petite brunette pointed at a map projected by the TARDIS, "Here. It's of vital importance."
The Doctor nodded and headed over to the console. He began to pull switches and push buttons, relocating the TARDIS to the location. As the Doctor opened the door, he looked back at Clara and asked, "Aren't you coming?"
"No." Clara shook her head. "It'll be John's bedtime soon. You can handle it without me, can't you?"
"Of course I can." the Doctor snorted.
"I hope Jack is going to be okay." Clara said, her expression one of concern.
The Doctor took in his companion's expression before nodding and walking out the TARDIS' door, closing it behind him. He hurried towards the place where Jack's location had been marked at. He navigated the block of flats before heading into a building and searching for the address indicated. Before he could check to see if the door was locked or not, it was flung open. Standing directly inside was Jack Harkness, who had an unreadable excited expression on his face. "Doc!" Jack exclaimed. "I need you to see this!"
"Let me in, then." the Doctor snapped, pushing his way past Jack.
The Doctor thought he heard Jack lock the door behind him. Suddenly, he felt Jack smack his behind. The Doctor whirled around and barked, "Jack!"
"Couldn't resist!" Jack said with a grin.
"We will discuss this when your problem is dealt with." The Doctor growled. "Do not do that again!"
"Scout's honor." Jack said, a look of complete innocence forming on his face.
Suddenly, another male voice called out, "Is he here yet?"
The Doctor tried to place the voice. He swore that he'd heard it before. Jack called out, "Yeah, he's here!"
Jack grabbed the Doctor by the wrist and dragged him into another room. In the living room was a couple of human males, both of whom had a beer in one hand. One of them, a ginger who was about the Doctor's height, was immediately identified. It was Clara's ex-boyfriend, James. The Doctor looked at Jack suspiciously and asked with a great deal of annoyance in his voice, "Jack, what is this?"
"This, Doctor," Jack replied, "Is what is supposed to be James' stag party."
"Why am I at his stag party?" the Doctor asked with a scowl.
"He didn't have many people coming." Jack replied with a shrug. "He said that I could bring a friend along."
"I'm leaving." the Doctor said, turning around and heading towards the exit.
"You can't." Jack called out to the Doctor. "The door is locked and the lock needs fixed."
The Doctor reached into his pocket to pull out his sonic screwdriver only to find that it was not there. He heard Jack clear his throat and spun around to look at him. Jack had an innocent smile on his face as he tossed the Doctor's sonic screwdriver up into the air, caught it, and pocketed it. "You can have it back later." Jack said sweetly.
The Doctor glared venomously at Jack, but the captain was unaffected. "Come on, Dock." Jack said with a smile. "Stay a while. Play a few drinking games. I'll give you your sonic back when you've loosened up a bit."
The Doctor folded his arms over his chest and grumbled under his breath as he followed Jack into the living room. The Time Lord poured himself some whiskey. He then sat down in a bean bag chair before taking the first of what would be one of many drinks that night.
Several hours later, everyone including the Doctor was fairly intoxicated. James waved his beer around and sad, "You know what, Doctor? I don't even need Clara. I've got my fiancee. I can shag her any time."
"You're just jealous." The Doctor slurred. "'Cause Clara is better."
"I tapped that long before you did." James argued drunkenly.
"I did it better." the Doctor shot back. "I get her off," he stopped to pour another drink down his throat. "every time. Compared to me, you are like a fumbling teenager groping his girlfriend in the back of his parents' car."
"You get her off?" John snorted. "Please. With someone your age, Clara probably fakes it."
That was a bit of a sore spot for the Doctor. Though generally confident in his ability, deep down he always worried that he might not be able to please Clara for whatever reason. Jack, seeing that things were going bad, decided to lighten things up. "Gentleman, please." Jack said with a laugh. "If anyone can get a woman off better than anyone else, it's me."
"Maybe they fake it." James said jokingly. "Like Clara does with the Doctor."
"She does not fake it." the Doctor insisted.
"This is Clara Oswald that we're talking about." James said as he reclined into his bean bag chair. "She admitted that she did it for me once, to make me feel better. Clara is an expert at faking it."
"She doesn't fake it." the heavily intoxicated Doctor argued. He then stood up and said, "I'll prove it."
"You go, Doc." Jack said with a grin. He then handed the Doctor's sonic screwdriver over. With that done, he watched the Time Lord stagger away.
The Doctor opened the TARDIS' door and walked in, closing it as quietly as a drunk man could. He made his way to his bedroom to show Clara what was what. He saw her lying in bed, reading a book. He plopped down next to her and was about to begin his seduction when, suddenly, his head fell down onto the pillow and he was out like a light.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
A few days later, the Doctor was thinking about James' words, words which had triggered one of his deep-seated insecurities. He hadn't had much alone time with Clara with Jack staying in the TARDIS again, using the bedroom for sleeping purposes. The Doctor was still very worried about not being able to please Clara. So, he decided, that night, he would please her like never before. When she did show up, the Doctor made sure to lay down in the most seductive manner possible. "Hello, Clara." He purred.
"Why, Doctor," Clara said teasingly, "Are you going to seduce me?"
"Maybe." the Doctor replied with a seductive smile. "Do you want to be seduced?"
"Maybe." Clara said back. She climbed into bed and laid down next to him. "It sounds like fun."
The Doctor gave another seductive smirk before pouncing on Clara. She gave an excited squeal before the Doctor mashed his mouth against hers. He groaned when Clara buried her fingers in his grey curls and dragged her nails softly over his scalp. The Doctor reached under Clara's dress and pinched her cheeks, causing her to gasp in surprise. He kneaded her buttocks, pulling her flush against him. Suddenly, James' words came unbidden to the Doctor's mind. Clara faking it. The Doctor shook his head and returned to what he was doing. He removed his own clothes before he sat up and pulled Clara into his lap. He pulled her dress over her head and tossed it onto the floor. He ran his tongue up Clara's neck, eliciting a moan from her. The Doctor reached around Clara's back to help her unhook her bra before removing it and flinging it across the room. He continued to nibble, lick, and kiss at her neck, shoulders, and chest as his hand slid down Clara's body. Finally, he slid his hand down the front of her knickers. He stroked a finger between her folds to discover that she was absolutely soaked. Oh, this was good. He inhaled deeply, taking in the delicious scent of Clara's arousal. It wasn't as strong as he'd like, but he would change that soon. Slowly, he began to circle a finger over the sensitive nub that could bring Clara great pleasure. She let out a sharp cry and dug her nails into the Doctor's shoulders. The Doctor winced slightly from the pain, but it still heightened his arousal. He continued to stroke Clara as she panted loudly. Finally, she let out a loud, untempered cry. Oh yes, that was good. Unfortunately, the thoughts of what had happened a few days ago kept coming to mind. Because of this, he was still flaccid. Clara glanced down at his manhood, smiled, and said, "Let me take care of that."
She reached down and took him in hand, expertly stroking him, trying to work him into fighting shape. This went on for thirty seconds, then a minute, then two minutes, then five. Clara glanced up at the Doctor and the he admitted with the utmost look of awkwardness, "This has never happened before."
Damn it, he just couldn't focus. Not with the possibility of Clara faking it in his mind. Had she faked it when he had brought her to orgasm with his fingers? He frowned deeply. "Doctor, is something wrong?" Clara asked.
"You tell me." The Doctor snapped. "Tell me, Clara- do you fake it every time?"
A look of shock appeared on Clara's face, which was quickly replaced with anger. Her hand flew up to his cheek and she slapped him. Hard. "Why would you say that?" Clara cried. "How could you think that!"
The human female then proceeded to gather up the Doctor's clothes before tossing them at him. "You are not sleeping in this room tonight!" Clara snapped.
The Doctor frowned and began to put his clothes back on. Once he was done, he left his room and headed for the guest room. He climbed into bed before tucking himself in. He felt the bed shift behind him and a manly arm slipped around him, pulling him close to a warm body. A male voice sighed contentedly, "All my dreams have come true."
Moments later, Jack Harkness, sporting what would soon become a black eye, followed an angry Doctor out of the guest room. "I wasn't groping you, Doc!" Jack protested. "It was just a hug!"
"Leave me alone!" the Doctor barked.
The Time Lord made his way to the common room before flinging a pillow that he had taken from the guest room onto the couch. He then laid down on the couch. He thought about what had happened earlier. Oh, Clara had been very angry when he suggested that she faked her orgasms. That meant that his fears were unwarrented and she didn't fake it. That didn't change the fact that she was mad at him. The Doctor frowned and closed his eyes. He'd talk to Clara after both of them had slept for a while.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
It had been a week since the incident in the bathroom and Clara still refused to speak to him. They had both taken care of John, but the Doctor hadn't gotten a word from his companion. He was getting the silent treatment, a tactic used by females of all species. It was getting more and more frustrating. She had let him back in the bed after a few days, but she still refused to let him so much as touch her. It was a bit of a role reversal, the Doctor wanting to touch someone and the person in question not wanting to be touched. After the eighth day of being snubbed, the Doctor was done playing nice. The moment Clara was in bed, he moved over so she was caged between his arms. "Get off me." Clara growled.
"No." the Doctor said firmly. "I've been trying to talk to you for days but you'll barely even look at me."
"Well, that's what happens when the man you love accuses you of faking it." Clara snapped.
"Do you?" the Doctor asked.
"No!" Clara replied angrily.
"Oh." the Doctor replied tersely. "All right, then."
"All right, what?" Clara snapped.
"I believe you." The Doctor clarified.
"I can't believe you would- wait, what?" Clara was puzzled.
"I believe you." the Doctor repeated.
"You believe me?" Clara questioned.
"I believe you." the Doctor said once again. "Are we going to keep saying this or is this conversation going to go somewhere?"
"Could you get off me?" Clara asked.
The Doctor sighed and moved off of Clara before lying down next to her in bed. She rolled over so she was facing him. She then asked, "Why would you think that I would fake it?"
The Doctor frowned and looked away. "I spoke with James."
"James said that?" Clara groaned. "I only did it once and that was after you seduced me! When he eventually did get me off, I was thinking of you!"
"Oh." the Doctor said with a bit of puzzled relief. "Is that all?"
"What do you mean, 'is that all?'" Clara asked with growing irritation in her voice.
"Well, it's a bit of a relief." the Doctor admitted. "Let us never speak of this again."
"All right." Clara said. "We won't speak of it."
"All right, then." the Doctor finished the conversation.
After a short while, the Doctor spoke again. "Clara?"
"What?" Clara replied.
"Can I hold you now?" the Doctor asked.
"You'd better." Clara said with a faint smile.