Act III: Shop 'Til It Drops
Sadahiko found himself led to a toy store. It was less the kind of toy store with small children and harried parents than it was a kitschy collector's toy store, with rows of still in box vintage toys from as far back at the 1960s.
"Do you often come to places like this?" Sadahiko asked.
"Sometimes," Hiroko replied as she walked slightly in front of Sadahiko, looking at the rows of toys and action figures, sometimes having to go on her tiptoes to see. "I have a friend who likes making models, but mostly it's nostalgia for me. I remember watching a lot of tokusatsu and sentai shows with my best friend when I was a little kid. Stuff like Kikaider and Battle Fever J. She was a huge Ultraman fan though. I was always more into Kamen Rider..." Hiroko, without realizing at first, let out a few giggles.
Sadahiko regarded the openness of her high-pitched, earnest laughter and looked on, a gentle wistful smile growing on his face.
Hiroko reminisced, pointing at a toy AT-AT Walker on a shelf. "Oh yeah! One time we fought over whether Kamen Rider could beat Ultraman and she was saying he would win because he can grow in size, but I said Kamen Rider could tie cables around his legs like in Empire Strikes Back, which we just saw together."
Sadahiko felt embarrassed, but hid his face looking at something on a higher shelf.
"Oh... how did you guys make up?" he asked tentatively.
"I think we stopped talking for like a week, but then we made up because we realized we were both being stupid." Hiroko paused. "I'm sorry for talking so much. I don't know why I'm going on like this. I—" She felt a chill for a moment. "—I feel comfortable talking to you. Like we could be fast friends, except..."
"Except?" Sadahiko asked.
Hiroko raised her head, trying to see Sadahiko squarely in the eyes. "I'm—I'm not—"
Suddenly a low, booming, almost God-like voice echoed around them.
"RYOUGA HIBIKI, I'LL KILL YOU!"
Hiroko and Sadahiko turned their heads around trying to find the source of the noise. The two of them, along with the other customers at the toy store felt a rumbling at their feet.
"Is there an earthquake?" someone briefly asked before a loud explosion emerged from the back wall adjacent to where Hiroko had been standing.
"Hiroshi!" Sadahiko cried out. Before Hiroshi could even notice what the young man with her said, he wrapped her in his arms as the force of the blast pushed them to the ground.
There was a spray of plastic, drywall, concrete and rebar all throughout the toy store as patrons began rushing out of the main exit. Running through the opened wall was a red-haired girl holding something. Sadahiko could just barely hear her eke out, "You can Bakusai Tenketsu as a pig!? Fuuuuuuck."
Hiroshi saw black for a moment as she slowly came to. She felt a weight on her torso and she grunted in pain.
"Ah, are you okay?" Hiroshi saw Sadahiko look at her with concern in his eyes as he got to his hands and knees and started to stand, rubbing his back and grimacing in pain. The two froze and locked eyes once more. Sadahiko opened his mouth to say something when they heard a heavy footstep near them.
From the crater in the wall, a tall, muscular man in slightly ripped t-shirt and acid wash jean shorts stood. "Dammit Ranma, where'd you go! Get back here!" The man ran out of the store.
Hiroshi and Sadahiko looked at each other. Hiroshi felt a bit nervous, but safe being underneath the young man. Sadahiko gently brushed a bit of rubble from Hiroshi's cheek before slowly standing.
Hiroshi got up quickly and moved to the boy. "Are you hurt, Sada-"
"I'm fine, Hicchan..." the boy said, letting out a groan as he stood tall and stretched his back.
" 'Hicchan?'..." Hiroshi looked at the young man one more time, examining the features, and the look he gave her.
"Sayucchin?" Hiroshi asked in a soft voice. Sadahiko gave Hiroshi an embarrassed smile and nodded, scratching the back of his head.
There was heavy breathing a loud collective grunt as three Martial Arts Security LLC staff member heaved a large weight into the closed pizza shop currently being employed as an interrogation room. There was a large crack as concrete and plaster shattered and a young man slowly awoke. He sat up and looked around, before finding and putting on his glasses.
"Oh, Hello? Why is it so dark in here? I was always told that's bad for your eyes," he asked the security guards as two of them lifted him and sat him on the interrogation table and turned on the spotlight. The glass of water from before was still there.
The young man shielded his eyes from the light with his hand. "That's rather bright; is this a tanning salon? Is that why you're all in white bathrobes?"
"Quiet, you!" a middle aged man boomed as he walked in front of the spotlight, putting a foot on a turned around chair on the other side of the table from Mousse. "I'm Captain Watanabe. I'm in charge of security for this mall and I want to know everything about this terrorist plot you have!"
Mousse tilted his forehead before taking off his glasses, wiping them with the sleeve of his shirt, and putting them back on. "Sorry, I had some ketchup stains on my glasses. Now what were you talking about?"
Watanabe almost slipped out of his chair. "The terrorist plot!"
"Oh gods, there are terrorists at the mall!?" Mousse replied, concerned. "We have to do something!"
Watanabe smirked, "Oh a wise guy, eh? What's your name!?"
"Mùsī."
" 'Mousse'? Is that your 'codename'? What other aliases do you go by?"
"...I mean there was a Jesuit Missionary who said I could go by 'Moses', but then he pissed off the Musk for saying they were 'living in sin' and got strung up. So these days, I only go by Mùsī," Mousse replied matter of factly. "But why are you talking to me when there are terrorists that need to be stopped? Isn't that more important? What if they hurt my darling Shampoo?"
"Uh... we kinda broke the statue. Sorry," replied a voice in the darkness.
Watanabe glared back behind the spotlight. "Shut the hell up, Kanagawa."
"Aye Sir. Sorry Sir."
"I respect your little 'innocent act', but we know the truth. You're part of Saotome's terrorist cell and you all have decided to wage war on this mall for whatever reason. You will divulge your plans or we will be forced to... defend this place by any means necessary."
"Don't you hurt Shampoo! She is strong and angelic in her fighting prowess, but she's surprisingly delicate," Mousse pleaded.
Watanabe looked down at Mousse. "You Chinese nationals with your ridiculous code names are running amok in free Japan. How you have diplomatic immunity is beyond me! That Chinese she-devil is pulling the strings in Saotome's absence."
"... what are you talking about? What the hell is 'diplomatic immunity'?" Mousse's eyebrows furrowed as he looked darkly. "Saotome was very happy to let his 'strings' be pulled, that seducer of women."
"So, you admit the girl is Saotome? Not a double or a relative?" Watanabe urged on, growing excited.
Mousse just said, in a bored voice, "Yes, what part of this is confusing?"
"So Saotome is a deep plant KGB agent seeking to foment unrest to bring in neo-Stalinist-Maoist revolution!?"
"What in the hell are you talking about. Saotome just wants to steal my beloved. Right out from under my nose!" Mousse's voice began to flutter. "I was embracing her in my arms, thinking of the future back in Nujiezu, raising a gaggle of children and teaching them to be strong fighters..."
Watanabe contemplated the footage he saw moments earlier. The Chinese agent sprayed fountain soda on Saotome's second in command and he turned into... something. He had to rewind the footage half a dozen times before he even believed what he saw. Whatever it was went deeper than perhaps run of the mill terrorism and he aimed to find out.
Watanabe looked at the long haired boy, who, slightly unfocused gaze aside, seemed adamant at narrating his pastoral fantasy life. He looked down at the glass of water, condensation dripping on the side as the heat of the lamp shone on both it and the boy.
In a moment of experimentation, Watanabe grabbed the glass and saw the young man raise his arms up before being splashed and, to everyone in the room's horror, saw a young white duck flap itself out of the robes.
"Aha! That's why you have immunity! The Communist Chinese are now using animals to infiltrate us so they can't be legally prosecuted by The Hague! Orwell was right! Animal Farm is prophecy!"
Mousse merely flapped his wings, quacking in annoyance as Watanabe began cackling madly before addressing his subordinates.
"We have means to destroy this bloc of Communist filth! Come, agents! To The toy store!" Watanabe pointed towards the exit and the men stormed off, leaving Mousse to attempt to fly after them, only to run into the spotlight, knocking both himself and the light over.
Meanwhile Ranma Saotome was running down a corridor back inside the Hikarigaoka mall. Maybe this is what the Running of the Bulls is like... she mused as she held onto a wriggling black entity in her arms. She felt sharp stings of pain on her arms as she jumped over a trash can.
"OW! Fuck! You asshole, P-chan!" Ranma yelled at the piglet in her arms. "I'm gonna leave ya ta face Akane and have er turn ya into sausage, ya want that!?"
P-chan let out an angry bwee.
"Well, take it up with Shampoo later. If yer dumb ass lives long enough. Hell, if I live long enough." Ranma looked back and saw what seemed to a dust cloud where, at the head, running with a focused, piercing gaze was Akane, his muscles rippling as he ran, threatening to rip the t-shirt that was already stretched out. Ranma let out a gulp as she kept running.
"Get back here, Ranma!" Akane yelled out, the panes of the glass rooftop seeming to shake from the echo.
"Akane, ya gotta calm down! Please don't go ballistic." Ranma jumped over a cart selling touristy shirts, stealing a white shirt with Tokyo Tower on it. Before the vendor could yell at the shoplifter, his cart was then trampled by the large man running behind her.
"Why are you protecting that lying bastard!"
Ranma panicked as she jumped onto a stairwell, climbing up to the third floor of the mall. "Cause you'll kill him, Akane! I don't want that on yer conscience!"
Akane ran up the same steps, breaking a few of the concrete stairs as he ran. "You're always defending him, Ranma!"
Arriving at the top of the stairs, Akane spotted Ranma rounding a corner around a small bakery. Akane, seeing the most direct way between two points, broke into a dash into the bakery.
Ranma turned around, not seeing anything until she heard a cracking noise and then, suddenly, Akane's yell could be heard as he broke through the wall of the bakery, causing a blowback of exploding flour and butter around him.
Ranma jumped back at the amalgamated brick and bread ingredients she called a fiancée, well fiancé at the moment. Even at what had to be ten meters away, Ranma felt uncomfortably close at the moment
"Rrrrrragh! This is just like that time with the Koi Rod isn't it?!" Akane yelled.
Ranma shot back, "Oh my fucking—Will ya let that go! That was just a dumb cursed object! I wasn't myself! I was all cuckoo-brained." Ranma began to run off again.
"That's it, isn't it? You'd rather be with Ryouga than with me!"
Ranma tripped onto her face for a second, before jumping up and running backwards. "What!?" Ranma yelled back at Akane.
Akane increased her running pace, "Admit it! You've always wanted Ryouga more than me! I've always been your last choice! Shampoo or Ukyou or Ryouga is more attractive than I am!"
Ranma brought the wriggling P-chan up to her face and gave the piglet a pointed glower. The piglet moved to try and bite her nose, but she conked him on the head.
Ranma yelled back at Akane, "That ain't true! Yer fine the way ya are, Akane! I mean like normally even with the flat chest and gorilla arms and the long toned legs you can crush cantaloupes with!" Ranma slowed a moment. "Not like I've been looking at your rock hard abs n muscles n' stuff..." Ranma muttered to herself, jumping over a parent pushing a stroller.
P-chan rolled his eyes.
Changing the subject, Ranma added, "I'm surprised you didn't add in Kodachi, too!"
Akane danced around an elderly couple on a walk as he kept up. "I wouldn't put it past you to have a one-night stand with her!"
"Are you nuts!? I'd die before the night is over!"
"Well, I bet you'd die happy."
"Yeah, from the drugs! Stop being jealous!"
"I'm not jealous! I'm just mad you always go off and get into these things and I'm never around unless i get kidnapped or something!"
"Well I didn't ask to get chased by mall cops while Ryouga blames me for getting you cursed!"
"You weren't even there!"
"No I wasn't! Why were you there!"
"I... I was keeping an eye on you!"
"Oh, now who's being weird!?"
"Well if I wasn't, I wouldn't be in your life."
"Oh, come on!"
"Bweee Bwee!"
"Shut the hell up, P-chan!" they both said aloud.
Ranma kept running, quickly choosing different forks to run around and double back as, somehow, she could feel Akane's presence slowly get closer. Ranma felt her chest tighten as she heard him yell at her in a forlorn tone.
"You always run around and get into trouble and—and flirt with guys and I—I get jealous, okay!" The fire came back in Akane's voice as Ranma could feel his ki heat up.
"I'm petty and jealous and I wanna break something when you do something stupid and I'm not around to be there with you when you do it!"
"Seriously Akane?! Ya know that don't mean nothin', I'm only playin' em for a racket."
"I see how you look at people, male or female. You're not always conning them! Not 100%!"
Ranma stopped and looked back at Akane. "Yeah, well, maybe I like it when you chase me."
Akane blushed and paused. Ranma smiled. "'Course that means I gotta run. No good getting the piggy murdered for no good reason." Ranma stuck her tongue out and ran off.
"Hey! Ranma, you little—!"
Ranma turned and kept running, self-satisfied with herself for using the secret technique in a small way.
That was until Ranma found herself cornered again with no easy exit as she ran out of hallway again.
What is this, Kowloon!? This place is laid out like a damn labyrinth! Ranma thought as she looked around and found a shop she could duck into. As she entered, Ranma quickly realized it was a shop selling teas. It had already been emptied of customers, though an elderly man was crouched behind the counter, his head peeking out above and confused by Ranma's hodgepodge of collectibles in her arms and her worried expression.
Seeing no other options, Ranma gulped and put her hands together and she gave the old man an apologetic look. "Sorry about this," she said before a bright blue ball of ki formed in her hands.
"Mouko Takabisha!" The ki exploded out of her hand and through the wall next to the counter. Ranma ran across the hastily made exit at the back of the shop, through a floral and herbal-scented spray. Ranma found herself carrying a much heavier, much more naked weight in her arms as P-chan was now a naked Ryouga.
"Ugh, it's like haulin' a gunny sack of ground pork..." Ranma said with a grunt.
Ryouga panicked. "Put me down you idiot!" He began flailing around, finding himself being carried bridal style down the third floor of the mall, the few onlookers who weren't actively running away staring dumbfounded. He looked back at Ranma and noted that, for one, her hair was still red and, for two, he could feel the ample softness of her chest. "Why are you still a girl?"
"Long fucking story! And I ain't putting ya down unless you want Akane ta literally turn ya inta ground pork. Yer a bastard, but ya got caught up at a bad time."
Ryouga looked over Ranma's shoulder and saw something that made Ryouga wonder if he was witnessing the Hulk mid-transformation as the man full of rage and clad in ripped shorts ran towards them.
"Point taken. Where's my—" Ryouga got a shirt and swim trunks thrown at him.
"Best I can do." Ranma looked back, but the steam obscured her view. "I think if we duck in here we can lose her."
Ranma ran into an semi-ajar door, pushing it so it closed behind her. The door read "Maintenance only."She stopped, finding herself in a narrow hallway lit only by low, red lights. Finally setting Ryouga down, she took a breath of air as she could hear the sounds of her erstwhile rival getting dressed.
"Fuck that's over for now. You okay, P—ACK!" Ranma ducked as she saw a right cross attempt to hit her. Standing back up, she yelled, "What the hell, Ryouga!"
"You bastard, you never finished our fight! It's your fault Akane is like this!"
Ranma slapped her forehead. "Akane's 'like this' cause she found ya out, dumbass!"
"If she wasn't cursed, she wouldn't have reacted like that!" Ryouga replied. "She's so sweet and pure she'd understand if she was herself."
"This is Akane Tendo we're talkin' 'bout, right?" Ranma asked. "Ya know, the one that hits me in the head all the time?"
"Because you deserve it!" Ryouga threw a kick at Ranma's head.
Ranma ducked again and jumped over Ryouga, using his face as a step.,She looked back and said, "It's that's what ya want, Ryouga, come n' get me!" Ranma ran further into the cramped maintenance hallway, Ryouga in tow.
Daisuke was a bit chilly in the dark theater, but found enjoyment, and no small amount of warmth nestled in the crook of Tatewaki Kunou's shoulder. Objectively, it should have felt weird. Actually, it did feel weird for a few reasons. Mostly because when Daisuke Takahashi woke up this morning, the last thing he expected to be doing was going out on a date with a guy. Then again, given her current outfit and demeanor, it sort of made sense. There was a lot to process for Daisuke regarding herself and her current situation, but she had time. After all it it wasn't as if the film Kunou had chosen, the Japanese release of Roadhouse starring Patrick Swayze, was a particularly intellectual film.
("Yes, yes. I shall have to ponder the wisdom of Dalton in his maxim: 'Pain don't hurt,'" Kunou had muttered to himself earlier in the movie.)
Above the very theater Daisuke was sitting in, standing on metal rafters, pipes, and air conditioning ducts in near darkness, Ranma Saotome squared off against Ryouga Hibiki.
Ranma knew he back was to the wall. Well, to a large and sturdy steel crossbeam. She faced her opponent who was coming in close.
Ryouga opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted as the sound of the movie leaked up to the space they were in.
"Prepare to Die." Ryouga blinked.
Ranma smirked and opened her mouth, only to be similarly interrupted.
"You're such an asshole."
Ryouga charged Ranma who in turn, leapt towards him.
Ranma got off a good kick to the head, but was frozen when she felt her leg trapped by Ryouga. Undeterred, she bent her knee, and, with a contortionist's flexibility, bent backwards until she saw Ryouga eye to eye.
"Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken!" she yelled, and began punching him repeatedly. Ryouga, trying to hold off Ranma, let go, taking most of the blows. Ranma turned in space and like a cat, she righted herself back at her feet.
"Ugh..." Ryouga took a second to recover his breath. "Damn you, Saotome. Because of you, sweet Akane is a man and she found out about my deepest shame... a shame you caused!" Ryouga slumped down and Ranma felt the familiar sensation of heaviness swirl around Ryouga as he prepared a Shishi Houkoudan.
After a few seconds, Ranma began worrying as the buildup of ki wasn't stopping. The energy Ryouga was building within him was larger than she had ever felt, save perhaps the time he almost conjured a perfect Shishi Houkoudan. Ranma heard a popping, twanging sound and noticed some of the rivets joining the steel beams began to shake free of their welds, sending bits of hardened flux bursting outwards.
"Oh shit," Ranma tried to cool down her own chi. But now the lack of room made a spiral impossible. "Ryouga!" she cried out. "It ain't that bad, Akari still likes ya, right? And, uh, lunch? Lunch is like the best meal of the day? I mean life is great, right?"
"I've been lost in Narnia or Siberia or somewhere for six months. The highlight of my wandering was finding Pripyat. My only friend was a fox. He stole my money. I've survived mostly on soy sauce packets and rain water until I ran into you."
"Okay, eighty-six the pep talk." Ranma felt a cold sweat as Ryouga seemed to glow from the heavy ki.
Ryoga finally stood up again, his aura making him seem even more imposing than he usually was to Ranma's eyes. Ranma let out a gulp and thought okay i got one last trick up my sleeve.
"Ryouga! Stop! What would Yoiko think!?"
"You won't fool me with trying to pretend to be my little sister again!" Ryouga rushed towards Ranma who let out a shriek.
"You don't even have a sister you, oh crap, Mouko-"
"Ranma! I got this!"
Akane rushed in past Ranma, who blinked and, with a roar matching Ryouga's own cry of pain, grabbed Ryouga. The two flared with ki as they grappled, the thin material of their shirts breaking apart revealing sweaty pecs and sinewy abs.
Ranma felt a mass of conflicting feelings over the drama of the two locked in heated battle: envy for not being in the fight, jealousy for not being that muscular, and a certain other feeling that she was too embarrassed to even name in her own mind that came from a different part of her anatomy.
Suddenly, Ranma felt a strong explosion as the mix of Akane's hot angry ki mixed with Ryouga's heavy depressive ki and reacted. That or the sound system's use of heavy reverb for the final shootout of the movie cause Ranma to lose her footing and fall on her butt into the catwalk.
"Woah..." Ranma mouthed as Akane pulled an arm under Ryouga's ribs, picked him up, and tossed him against a vertical beam. The impact of the lost boy on several inches of steel was that the steel beam bent in the middle at about a 60 degree angle.
Akane slowly started catching his breath as he said, "Damn, he's heavy... heh..."
Ranma, still a bit dazed herself, called out, "A—Akane?"
Any response was interrupted by both Ryouga extricating himself from the Ryouga shaped dent in the steel beam and the sound of welded rivets somehow popping out of place.
Sayuri ran down the hallway of the mall, holding onto Hiroshi's delicate hand.
"Slow down. I don't have long legs like you do!" Hiroshi pleaded, adding in an aside, "Why did I let Daisuke goad me into wearing heeled boots?"
Sayuri slowed down a bit. He looked down at Hiroshi. "For what it's worth, they do look nice on you."
"Th—thanks."
Sayuri and Hiroshi ran downstairs, heading towards the exit.
"Hold it!" A voice behind them called out and the two found themselves stopped at a large landing between the first and second floor. Sayuri could see bedlam as several shops were on fire, flooded, covered in rubble or, as the movie theater behind them seemed, threatening to pull the whole roof down on the whole mall.
"Freeze, you hoodlums!" a Martial Arts Security LLC agent said, holding a pistol in front of them
"Is that a water pistol?" Hiroshi asked, pointing at the edges where the molded plastic overflow hadn't fully been cut away.
"Quiet you!" The guard said, swatting her hand away with the muzzle of the plastic toy and aiming the barrel near her face. Fake gun or not, Hiroshi froze in fear. With a frustrated groan, Sayuri slapped the water gun out of the guard's hand.
"Stop that! What the hell's wrong with you to threaten a customer? Leave her alone!"
"That's it! We're bringing you—" A guard to Sayuri's left suddenly stopped speaking as he suddenly grabbed his throat. A second later, he seemingly flung himself backwards off the staircase landing.
"Kimura! Wha—" A second guard let out a yell as she too seemingly flung herself out of the stairs.
One by one, the six agents collapsed to the ground. Neither Hiroshi nor Sayuri could see what was happening, but they distinctly heard a sound that was either celery being torn or someone's neck being snapped in two.
Sayuri held Hiroshi protectively in his arms as the security guard directly in front of them dropped to the ground like a sack of flour. To their surprise, they saw a familiar face standing on the, they hoped, passed out agent.
"Shampoo?" They asked in unison.
"Dumb boy..." Shampoo noted looking down at Hiroshi. "Oh, and Akane friend! You two look too too cute. Maybe stay cursed?" Shampoo asked in a sweet voice, before she bounded off towards the end of the mall and the movie theater.
"Holy... holy shit." Hiroshi said out loud, looking far off.
"Yeah, I forgot how scary Shampoo is."
"Yeah... but i mean it really really is you, Sayu..." Hiroshi fell to her knees, her legs feeling weak.
"Woah! Hiroshi, are you-?"
Hiroshi nodded as she slowly stood, grabbing onto Sayuri's offered hand. "I think we better get out of here."
Sayuri nodded looking at Hiroshi.
"I hope—" Hiroshi said haltingly. " I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but... you look good like that."
Sayuri muttered something indistinctly as they gingerly stepped over the bodies and went downstairs.
The beam they stood on shuddered as it suddenly dropped about 30 centimeters. Ranma, still dazed from Ryouga's attack and distracted by Akane's feat of strength, lost her footing and fell to her knees.
"Ranma!" Akane cried out! He took a step towards Ranma but was held back by a hand.
"I'm not done yet!"
Akane's brow furrowed. "If that's what you want, Piggy." Akane turned around, ducking a swipe at his head by Ryouga. The downward force proved too much for the rivets holding the beam up and it collapsed under their feet. Ryouga and Akane found a higher beam leading to a rooftop door and in that second they jumped up.
Akane looked back however, and saw Ranma, still dazed, holding on to the collapsed beam.
"Ranma!"
"Don't worry, 'kane!" Ranma replied with a tearful smile. "Kick him in the belly for me!"
Akane jumped up towards the light of the now open exit and moved to face his enemy.
Below, in the theater, the end credits beginning to roll on the action movie, Tatewaki found himself a bit flustered. He was along with a beautiful blonde woman who was currently very close and, in both a demure and yet sensual manner, she approached him.
"Y-you're quite forward, Ms. T-t-takahashi," Tatewaki stammered.
Daisuke smiled. In her head she thought god is it normal to feel like you're drunk on someone paying attention to you? It's Kunou the Blue Blunder and yet...
"Well, I trust you, somehow," Daisuke said, unsure, but she let herself be pulled by Tatewaki's gravity as he leaned his head down ever closer to her. Daisuke closed her eyes and leaned up, anticipating her lips touching his.
CUH-RRRRRRRRAA-CCCCCCK!
A steel ceiling beam came down squarely on Daisuke's date, burying Kunou in a heap of metal and rubble. Daisuke looked up and saw Ranma, covered in sawdust and a few bruises as she hugged the beam. Ranma finally relaxed her arms and looked out at her surroudings after having screwed her eyes shut and holding on for dear life. Ranma was a bit flummoxed by what she saw.
"Wuh—Woah! You okay, Dai?" she asked. Ranma looked down and noticed what, or rather who, had broken her fall. "Er, uh, he didn't get too grabby hands, did he?" Ranma asked.
"No!" Daisuke responded, looking annoyed. She huffed. "Tatewaki was a perfect gentleman and only touched me where I wanted to be touched." Daisuke paused. "Huh. I'm learning waaaay too much about myself today. Uh, Ranma, if I ask you about real cursed water in like six months, you'll understand, right?"
Ranma blinked, but thought a second before shrugging herself. "Enh, I've heard weirder today. Maybe you can pool some cash with 'natsu to buy some?"She slowly stood, limping a bit. "C'mon, let's get the hell outta here. I gotta go find Akane."
"Yeah I guess we should. I'm out of spending money, anyway."
Daisuke put an arm across Ranma's shoulder as they limped out of the theater. Just before they entered the threshold of the exit, Daisuke looked back as the slowly twitching form of Tatewaki Kunou.
"Is— is he gonna be okay?"
"Oh yeah," Ranma said, letting out a derisive grunt. "If Watermelon Island couldn't kill 'im, he'll be fine."
Having shot through the ceiling, Ryouga found himself at the roof of the mall. Across, the setting sun at his back, was Akane Tendo. The INXS t-shirt that was at a near breaking point earlier on was now practically in tatters from the burns and broken glass. The tight jorts were similarly ripped and Ryouga could hear tired breathing from his opponent.
Objectively, Ryouga was impressed at both how much muscle and height being male had given Akane. It clashed with his mental picture of the sweet and delicate girl. He'd pay back Ranma for the horror he unleashed, but for the moment, Ryouga was itching for this confrontation.
"Didn't think you'd like running around like a man, Akane Tendou." Ryouga said.
"Didn't think you were nothing more than a pig, Hibiki!"
"Well, I guess we're leaning lots of things about ourselves today, huh?" Ryouga gave Akane a smirk as he kept his arms raised and ready.
There was a pause.
"Wha—what are you doing?" Akane asked.
"I'm waiting for you to retort."
"Why?"
Ryouga blinked. "I'm taunting you! It's a thing. This is a man to man fight now! Er, uh, right?"
Akane rolled his eyes. "I don't know about the 'man to man' part, but we're fighting, yes!"
"Then we trade barbs, get each other pissed, and then we finish the fight. It's simple Rivalry 101! I—" Ryouga threw up his hands. "Ugh, I never have to explain this to Ranma!" Ryouga yelled then began charging Akane.
"Shit!" Akane leaned back as he parried Ryouga's strikes. Akane knew from watching Ranma fight that Ryouga was relatively "slow", but given that Akane was also slow compared to Ranma meant that he struggled to keep Ryouga at bay, blocking more than dodging and feeling every strike in his forearms.
"Argh! Fight back! I thought you'd be stronger than this!? Aren't you mad Ranma did this to you? He did this to me! He messes everything up!"
Akane's brow furrowed. The blows he was taking seemed to feel less painful and enervating and, from some reserve of energy he didn't know he had in his gut, he knocked Ryouga's arms away and kicked him squarely in the solar plexus. Ryouga flew several meters back, landing on the corner of where several glass roof tiles met.
"Shut the hell up, Hibiki! You did this to yourself, you lying bastard! How long has it been? Two years since you sidled up and pretended to be a cute little pot bellied pig? For what, so you could find a way to ask me out? Are you that pathetic?"
Ryouga slowly stood at that. His body took on a flaccid, listless posture as he seemed to shamble near Akane.
Shit, he looks more like Gosunkugi, Akane thought to himself.
"So... Even you, Akane, cursed to be a man. Even you are aren't willing to damn the bastard that ruined my life?" Ryouga voice trembled.
Akane huffed, "Hey, I was willing to bite that bullet ages ago; this is just for one day." He flexed an arm, trying to stay warmed up as Ryouga approached
Ryouga then took a deep breath and his posture shifted, as though the air was reinflating his sense of persecution and justice. "Then my dear sweet Akane is gone forever and I'm all alone... No one can understand my pain..."
"I was never your dear sweet—Wait a minute..." Akane said, putting more pieces together. "Akari knows! That's why she's dating you! Does she have a pig fetish!?" Akane asked.
"Shut up! Does that mean you have a girl fetish?"
Akane yelled back, "That's not a thing, moron! I'm just... maybe... kinda, sort of ga-"
"Shishi Houkoudan!" Ryouga called out, shooting a ball of heavy ki at Akane.
"Shit!" Akane's jaw dropped, unsure what to do. He had seen Ryouga use the move before, but never aim directly at him. His feat felt leaden and he was almost certain he'd be hit by the blast
"Mouko Takabisha!" A voice called out from... It took a moment for Akane to realize Ranma had slid under his widely stanced legs like a baserunner and stood quickly raising her hands and letting out a blast of ki that dwarfed her small frame. Was she always that small?
Akane turned back to the fight. Ranma was offering a solid defense of Ryouga, but not much else. He noticed as well, however, that while Ryouga was putting up a strong fight against Ranma, he was completely open to attacks from elsewhere.
Akane ran away from Ranma with everything his legs could give,.
"Akane!?" Ranma yelled looking at his right in between shots of ki
"Hold on, Ranma!" Akane yelled as he disappeared from view.
Ryouga looked around, "What the hell is this!? Ranma, you bastard! You interrupted our man to man fight!"
"That's my line! And I told ya today was a Girl Day!" Ranma threw another ki blast. Ryouga planted his feet to nullify it. As he raised his hands to summon his ki, he felt a surge of ki from behind as the Akane appeared.
"Your fight's with me, Tonkatsu!" Akane said as he rushed Ryouga, raising a fist above his head. For a moment, Ryouga was convinced the man attacking him was holding a large blunt instrument as both the fist and the Mouko Takabisha connected.
Akane looked down at the unconscious Ryouga, whose clothes burnt black and a large bump forming in his head as he twitched one of his legs.
Walking back towards Ranma, Akane saw that the ends of her hair were split and a bit fried, the smell of burnt hair present. Otherwise, considering everything, Ranma seemed no worse for wear. Rather, nothing a good meal and a nap couldn't fix up. As he approached, he saw Ranma's eyes grow glassy and her posture shrank back.
"Ranma?" Akane asked.
Ranma looked back, seemingly unaware that there were rivulets of tears on her cheeks. "Akane! I'm sorry!"
"What are you sorry for?"
"Ryouga n' P-chan! I knew 'bout it, but I promised Ryouga not ta tell ya, 'cause it's my fault he got cursed. I always wanted ta say somethin' but-"
"Ugh! Ranma. Hush." Akane put a finger on her mouth. Ranma stopped as she felt the gentle warmth against her lips.
Akane sighed and, with his other hand and with a very light touch, he bopped Ranma on her head.
"Let's face it. You're an idiot. I expect you to do stupid things, even when you mean well. Especially when you mean well. I mean look at today, for crying out loud!" Akane gestured around them.
"-sorry."
"I'm still here, cheaters..."
"Shut the hell up! We never agreed to fight you one on one!" Akane yelled, giving Ryouga a swift kick to the stomach. Satisfied, Akane stared into Ranma's eyes.
"Dummy. I've never had this much fun before!" Akane slipped a hand across Ranma's small waist and he felt a strange ease to it. "Did you see how much I kicked Ryouga's ass with your help, dear?"
"De—dear?" Ranma asked, looking worried.
Akane gave a small smirk at the petite girl he was holding onto. Before he could answer, a squad of security guards, surrounded them, taking on defensive stances.
"Ah, crap these guys..." Ranma sighed. Akane bent down and gave Ranma a kiss on her forehead.
"Bàosuì Diànxuè!" a high pitched voice cried out as a ring around Akane and Ranma exploded around them, sending glass and concrete and metal and advertisements for the upcoming Lethal Weapon 2 everywhere.
The lone remaining still-conscious Martial Arts Security LLC guard looked up at the top of the rubble and saw a violet-haired girl standing triumphant. In a booming voice that belied her size, she yelled:
"DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!"
Suddenly, she felt a spray of water as she saw Watanabe stand holding a water gun.
"Has just been revoked."
He blinked as the girl disappeared and from a pile a clothing a cat emerged.
Watanabe also began hearing frantic, scared laughter. He turned and saw the red haired girl trying to run from the cat, who clawed onto her shoulders.
"Ca—ca—caaaaaaaaaat!" Ranma yelled as she ran around crying. Watanabe moved to stop her only to be punched away in the air by a stray arm flailing. Watanabe was knocked out cold as he slammed into a concrete column that had previously helped hold up the second floor of the mall.
Ranma's crying screams slowed down and, for a moment, it was as if all sound had left the world. To those present it felt so silent, they could hear nothing but their ears ringing.
To this day, the former security team members remember the haunting wailing that echoed through the now-destroyed Hikarigaoka Mall.
"RRRRREOOOOOOOOOOOW"
Captain Watanabe saw as the teen girl who was also Ranma Saotome who, to his mind, was also a secret KGB Chinese Maoist agent slowly saunter towards him on her hands and feet, circling him and eyeing him as she stalked her prey.
His final thought as Ranma jumped up to pounce was I hate teenagers.
Ten minutes later, Ranma, still more cat than human, jumped onto the remains of the Hikarigaoka Mall and scampered off. Akane looked on, sighed, and stood, brushing dust and rubble off of his toned chest. He used the last scraps of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow. After taking a moment to adjust what little bit of jort he had left, Akane began to walk in the general direction Ranma ran off to, softly calling out.
"Heeeere, kitty kitty..."
Hiroshi found herself sitting by the central fountain of the ruins of the mall with Sayuri.
"What a weird day, huh?" Sayuri asked quietly. He was twiddling his thumbs and he looked over to Hiroshi. Hiroshi was a bit startled at first by the sudden question, but then relaxed and gave Sayuri a smile and a nod.
"Yeah. I... thanks for back there by the way. I'm not sure if I'd've been able to get away from the rubble if you weren't there."
"Yeah, well..." Sayuri rubbed the back of his head. Hiroshi began giggling a bit and Sayuri looked confused, less by the display of girlish laughter itself then simply the fact Hiroshi was laughing after all of it.
"What?" Sayuri asked.
"Oh, I'm just remembering how you used to help me out back in elementary school with bullies. You came like a bolt of lightning, holding your mom's broom or just anything you had in your hand. I even remember you threw your Ultraman toy at Futoshi when he was trying to fight me in recess."
"Oh!" Sayuri blushed. "I-I forgot I had one of those." He scratched his head. "It was one of... the Kingsaurus sets, I think." Sayuri laughed a bit and looked down at Hiroshi, locking eyes with the currently petite girl and exchanging smiles. "But yeah, I didn't like seeing you get ganged up on. It was unfair and I didn't like unfairness."
Hiroshi nodded. "You always had a strong sense of justice." Hiroshi idly dangled her legs from the fountain, looking on towards the slowly darkening sky. "Then middle school happened and I guess things got weird, huh."
Sayuri replied, "Well you grew taller than me by third year and I guess it was weird to still like playing with action figures and reading Jump so... I didn't think we would have much to talk about."
Hiroshi sighed. "I was trying out for baseball and you were in the literature club and at that age it's so easy to just fall in to those prescribed patterns. So..." Hiroshi stopped as she realized how odd it was for her legs not to reach the ground from a seated position. How odd it was to feel comforted by Sayuri's presence, even in this different form. She let out a soft, warm laugh this time. "This is pretty nostalgic, somehow. It was nice to see the old 'Sayucchin' again, even if he's tall as heck and more handsome than I am."
Sayuri blushed. "Well... you have a better waist than I do! And a cuter face."
Hiro smiled and asked in a surprised, but happy voice, "Really?" She stopped herself and put a hand to her face. "God, we're becoming weirdos like them, huh?"
"Maybe, but... it's fun, right?" Sayuri asked.
Hiroshi took a second. In retrospect, he would say it was hormones or stress-addled brain or a ridiculous sense of nostalgia that did it, but at the moment, she looked into Sayuri's eyes and just leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.
"Wha-"
"Thanks, Sayuri. For being my hero, again," Hiroshi said quietly, her face blushing red. Sayuri for his part looked at her a while and stretched out his collar as he suddenly felt sweltering in his gakuran.
Ranma slowly awoke to the feeling of being petted by large, strong, but gentle hands.
"Huuuuhhhhwha?" Ranma looked up seeing warm brown eyes and a gentle, but undeniably masculine face.
"You okay now, Ranma?" the young man asked.
Ranma simply nodded and slowly sat up, moving next to Akane. She rubbed the back of her head, her mind still fuzzy.
"How-How long was I out?"
"About two hours."
"Any damage?"
"Besides most of the mall?" Akane pointed a thumb behind him and Ranma turned around to see a pile of rubble and a several emergency vehicles. "No. Most folks know when to run."
"Where'd everyone go?"
Akane thought. "I think they all went home, except for Hiroshi and Daisuke. They told me they were gonna spend the night at Hiroshi's place for a 'girls night in', whatever that means."
"Probably video games and junk food."
"You want in?" Akane asked. "I don't mind. I was thinking of taking a walk before I go home. Maybe find a gym and see how much I can bench press."
"Yeah, well... I'll go settle up with 'em." Ranma looked up at Akane. She found herself trembling.
"What's wrong?" Akane asked Ranma, with a faint smile.
"I'm a bit scared, if ya wanna know," Ranma said and she saw Akane wince a bit, "but also! I mean, I'm a bit scared I ain't—I ain't as scared as I thought I'd be. I thought 'bout this crap, ya know. Since that deal with Sanzenin, I thought 'bout stuff like..." She waved a hand over herself and Akane, "like this. Didn't think I hadta do more'n think 'bout it until Shampoo decided ta have some fun..." She let out a sigh before standing and pointing at the still seated Akane.
" 'Are you okay?' is what I should be askin'."
Akane nodded. "I mean it was a bit weird, and I had to relearn how to balance a bit and the reach and height is different, but it's okay for the most part. Actually..." Akane looked away from Ranma, with a blush. "When you were sitting on my lap, purring, it... it was difficult to not move you or disturb you but I wanted—I wanted to kiss you."
Ranma felt her face heat up as she started speaking, her voice growing quick and somewhat manic. "Well I mean, if it's you, it's okay. I mean! It ain't like I'm tryin' ta be weird and I ain't ready ta say let's get hitched for real this time or anythin' or about what kinds of people I think are cute like generally, but..." Ranma took a deep breath. "If ya wanted ta, you know, Akane, like whenever ya want ta... I—I'd be... I'd be cool with that. Like, if you wanted to n' all, I ain't tryin' ta make ya or nothin' and-."
Ranma paused as Akane stood in front of her. Again the petite redhead was struck by just how much taller Akane was then her like this. She felt a need to stand on her tiptoes as Akane leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"I understand, dumbass. I like you, too."
Ranma froze for a moment as she heard the words she had been trying to run circles around saying, but, for once, Akane seemed to understand and she rested against him for a while, the sun setting behind them.
Thanks for going on this crazy ride! Hold on though, we have some Epilogue Scenes on the way so we're not quite done with these 1989 Mallrats yet.
Thanks again to RDavidson and prise_en_passant for pre-reading and copyediting. Thanks to the Ranma Discord for putting up with my queer nonsense.