Does It Ever Rain In LA?

by bobbieyoung

An unexpected encounter between two strangers... slow burn. Re-upload.

4. Part IV

Chapter 13 *Fusions*

Santana's POV…

It's been the most carefree Sunday I can think of. I'm licking on a strawberry popsicle and breathing in the fresh air once we step out of the movie theater.

When I woke up in the morning and got out of Brittany's bedroom, I found a note on the kitchen table, saying she had gone for a jog and that she'd be back very soon. There were bagels and coffee ready and I smiled when I poured a cup.

After she returned and showered, we worked a little on the laptops just like we had done the day before. Then she asked if I was up to go watch a movie and I couldn't think of an idea that sounded better to do on a Sunday afternoon.

On our way to the movie theater she apologized for storming off last night. She admitted that things were getting a little heated on the couch and that she needed a shower to cool off.

I was glad we weren't looking directly at each other when she said that. That way she didn't see how red I was turning.

Once we were there, it didn't take us long to decide which movie to watch. During one scene I laughed so hard that it made me forget about all the sorrows currently clouding my life.

"This was such a good idea." I mumble when the back of my hand brushes against hers. I look at her from the side to find her grinning back at me.

"Yeah the movie was really nice" She states with a chuckle and reaches for the car key in her purse. "Do you want to go anywhere else? Grab something to eat? Go dancing?"

I shake my head and nudge her shoulder playfully.

"You've been way too kind to me already. But thank you. I just want to head back if that's ok? I'm pretty tired."

"Of course" Brittany smiles. Our ways separate when we both head to different sides of the car.

/

"Tonight you're sleeping in the bed and I'll take the couch." I say determinedly when Brittany hands me a cup of tea.

As soon as we got to her place, we changed into more comfortable clothes and then met in the kitchen for some tea. It's only eight pm. I don't know what we're going to do with the rest of the night. Suddenly I don't feel so tired anymore.

"Forget it…" She purrs with a smirk and leaves the kitchen. I follow her and sit down next to her on the couch.

She grabs the remote to turn on the TV but neither of us bothers to see what's on. We both pull our knees up to our middles and face each other, slurping from the steaming cups in our hands and throwing quick glances.

Suddenly I realize that tomorrow our little bubble of joy will pop by heading back to work. I will have to find a place to stay for longer – I can't stay with Brittany… this is a small apartment. I don't want to step into her privacy that much.

We've been together for the past 48 hours more or less, I'm sure she's longing for some space to breathe.

"I didn't mean to ruin your weekend." I speak up from behind my cup. Brittany frowns.

"Ruin it?" She asks puzzled and slowly shakes her head.

"Yeah… I don't even know if you had plans. I just showed up at your door on Friday night and never even asked if it was really ok for me to be here. You could have had all kinds of stuff planned for the weekend."

"Santana" Brittany interrupts me. "I told you it was fine, remember? I offered for you to come back so that means I didn't have any plans."

"But all you did was taking care of me!" I exclaim, suddenly realizing how self-centered I had been all weekend long.

"I wanted to." She speaks louder with a pointed look. I chuckle bitterly and stare at my cup.

"Why would you even want to take care of me? I'm a mess…" A painful lump forms in my throat as I press my lips together to not start crying. I was in such a good mood an hour ago. Now things threaten to fall back to a state of desperation.

Brittany studies me closely for a minute, then she reaches for the cup in my hands. She puts both our cups on the small table next to the couch and sits closer to me.

"You didn't ruin my weekend." She says calmly. The next words come out whispering. "You saved it…"

There goes my tear drop…

How can she say something as sweet as this? How could I have possibly saved her weekend?

"Brittany… how could I have possibly saved your weekend?" I speak and shrug my shoulders - honestly wondering.

"Because…" She breathes with her eyes lingering on my lips. She softly shakes her head like she's about to say something unbelievable. "Because you just did."

There is something pleading in her voice. Before I can analyze it any further, Brittany has grabbed my face gently and pulls me in for a long overdue kiss.

I've wanted to kiss her all day long but there was never the right moment. This is stupid because every moment is the right moment to kiss her sweet lips.

She leans into me which almost causes me to fall back into the cushions.

My chest feels so tight because my heart needs that much space to jump. I grab her wrists on both sides of my cheeks and let my hands wander up until I can grab her shoulders to pull her into that kiss.

Our lips haven't even moved but just been pressed against each other. When she finally parts hers and swallows mine with such hurry – I'm too overwhelmed to sit up straight any longer. I grab the back of her neck and drag her down on top of me when I lean back. Just like the night before she lies between my thighs. This time I am fully aware of what it does to my body.

A thought shoots through my head. What are we doing?

But when her tongue parts my lips and explores my mouth so confidently, I get rid of that worry so fast. It feels right and so perfect to be lying underneath her. How can this be the wrong time, too fast or something I'm not supposed to do?

It's all I want… it's all I want…

"I wanna make you feel better" Brittany mutters between two kisses. Her heavy breath makes me all dizzy and my heart pound in my chest. My hands run up and down her spine. I know I won't be able to speak a proper sentence.

"Ok" Is everything I manage to say before she guides our mouths together for the longest kiss we've shared so far. It sucks all the oxygen out of me but I don't care because it makes me feel so alive.

Her hips grind down into mine. It causes a gasp to escape my lips.

"Oh my… Brittany…" I breathe into her mouth because an excitement I haven't truly felt in so long pools in my lower stomach and spreads through my whole body when she does it again.

She breaks the kiss because she's panting just as heavily as I am. When I open my eyes, I find what I'm looking for. Approval. This is ok. We're ok.

"Come here" She whispers and pushes herself up. She pulls me with her and before I know it, we're heading to her bedroom.

I don't know how I manage to actually walk there because my legs are not even legs anymore. They're something extremely wobbly and unsafe. Still I know I won't sink to the floor because as soon as we're standing at the foot of her bed, she wraps her arms around my waist and holds me.

I don't remember when our lips found their way back together but they did because we are now kissing just as heated and longing as before. My hands work by themselves when they run through her hair or caress her cheeks.

The kiss starts to slow down when her embrace around my body loosens a bit and her hands come to a rest on my hips. She pulls away eventually which makes me whimper at the loss of contact. I get shushed when I watch how her glance drops to her fingers making tickling movements on my waist.

Our foreheads rest together when I'm holding on to the back of her neck. We both watch how her hands wander up my sides.

"You're so beautiful." She whispers. The way she does it gives me goose bumps all over my body.

Her hands roam up my ribs and I shiver when they brush against the sides of my breasts. She's not even really touching me but it feels like I'm about to explode. The pressure inside me erupts with a sigh when one of her hands cups my left breast.

An incomprehensible word leaves my lips as I push into her touch. I thought I would be hesitant but I want to feel her so bad. I had no idea this craving was resting inside me. It's so mighty.

Without wasting any time, she starts kissing my neck and oh it feels so, so good and makes me forget everything around me. Anything that's not her skin or not her lips or not her hand squeezing my chest so delicately.

Eventually she lets go and while I'm waiting for what's to come next, she keeps kissing my neck.

It's the air hitting the skin on my stomach that makes me realize she's pushing up my shirt. She detaches her lips from my neck and when I raise my arms, she pulls it over my head. I start trembling immediately because I'm only wearing shorts and a bra, her hands tickling the naked skin. She swallows when she beholds my covered chest. It's too much for me.

I stumble backwards until the bed hits the back of my knees. Like a rubber band I collapse on the mattress only to land on my back. With foggy eyes I watch how Brittany takes off her own shirt. The breath hitches in my throat when I realize she's not wearing a bra.

I don't know what I was expecting but I wasn't expecting that. I've never seen a woman's bare chest in a romantic or sexual context. Now they're just… right there. I must be ogling at her perfect shaped breasts because I hear a soft chuckle when she steps closer. She slowly crawls over me, forcing me to look up to her face.

For the third time she tops me like this and although I should be used to it by now, I'm not at all. I gasp when she lies down on me. It's not only that I'm not used to it, it's also the feeling of our bodies lying flush against each other with nothing but my bra separating our chests from touching.

If her stomach already feels so soft and warm and good then how will her chest feel against my skin? Soft lips brush over mine while our breaths mingle so sweetly.

"Do you want to take it off, too?" She asks. I don't know why I'm overwhelmed by that question. I usually don't get asked if I want to take off my bra. Usually it just happens and I'm naked.

"Yes" I breathe. Brittany kisses me on the lips almost as if to say thanks. Then she straddles my hips and sits up, giving me another opportunity to get a glimpse of her boobs.

She grabs my wrists that are somewhere placed on her thighs and pulls me up until I'm sitting straight. I don't know if she thought this through because my face is right in front of her chest now.

When she sees my state of inability to do something, she cups my face with her hands and makes me look up. Our eyes meet for an assuring glance before she takes one of my hands and slowly guides it up to her chest. My lips part when I glance down at the right moment.

My hand cups her right breast while her hand cups mine. I've never felt something so soft and round and simply breathtaking in my hand. I always wondered what guys find so awesome about boobs but now that I'm feeling and seeing it – I can only agree. Brittany squeezes my hand to encourage me. Then she wraps her arms around my neck, my hand working on its own. She reaches down to the clasp of my bra and undoes it easily, freeing my chest with tender fingers.

She pulls the bra down my arms until I have to let go of her so she can place it down next to us.

"Lie back" She whispers. I am glad to do so because I'm kind of dizzy.

I'm feeling naked but not exposed when she hovers over me and looks down at my chest. With slightly trembling fingers she caresses my collar bone first. It's good to know I'm not the only one who's nervous. Her fingers wander down and with a final look into my eyes she strokes over my chest ever so slightly before cupping my left breast with a warm hand.

I want to moan but I have to save it for when she lowers her face to my chest and starts kissing me there. As light as a feather she kisses my breasts and her lips and her tongue do wonders there. I want to say that this feels so incredibly good but the heavy breaths that leave my lungs make it impossible to speak.

She stops her sweet assault on my chest once she starts kissing me on the lips again. She does it just as long as I need to calm down, then my lips are left alone.

I feel hands on my sides stroking over my ribs until they reach my shorts. I automatically lift my hips so she can pull them down a few inches. She has to lie next to me so she can fully take them off. I watch how it only takes her seconds to take off her own sweatpants.

Only wearing panties we are lying on her bed now, her body pressing into my side. She props herself on her right elbow while her left hand gently cups my chin. I close my eyes when she starts kissing me, our tongues meeting between our lips.

With my own hand I reach behind her neck to make sure she can't pull away this time. I need more of her. She gives me what I crave and kisses me deeply and slowly. Meanwhile her left hand has wandered down my chin and between my breasts, making small circles on my stomach. Usually I would be shivering and trembling by now, trying to suppress hysterical laughter because it tickles so much.

But the way Brittany touches me feels just amazing. When she reaches my waist, she grabs me a little harder. My heart starts pounding quicker as she's only a couple inches away from where all the excitement is pooling between my legs.

I can tell I am getting wet – something that usually doesn't happen just by kissing and touching my stomach. The tips of her fingers ghost over the waistband of my underwear and when I open my eyes, she is already looking down at me.

"Do you want me to stop?" She whispers softly. I shake my head.

"No, please don't stop" I beg. She swallows my lips for another mesmerizing kiss.

She kisses me with such need and want but I have to turn my face away from her so a loud moan can leave my lungs. Her hand just made its way into my underwear and cups my center. Never have such soft and careful fingers touched me there. Never has a first touch had such effect. She doesn't move her hand at first, she just holds it there. I grab her shoulder because I need something to hold on to.

When she moves one single digit, I can feel how wet I actually am and I'm almost embarrassed about it. Needing to know if this is really possible, I guide my hand down and into my underwear. I cup her hand with my own to feel and I can't believe it. I didn't know my body was able to react like that.

"I've never been this… wet…" I admit with a whisper. Brittany smiles against my cheek. She is breathing much heavier than a couple minutes ago so I pull my hand back to let her do what she definitely knows better than me.

She moves so slowly against me while I press my eyelids together as it feels incredible. The softest strokes, the most careful fingers. Nothing I would have imagined it to be but a thousand times better. Her lips kiss my chin and my neck and my collarbone, making the sensation between my legs much more intense.

Suddenly her lips wander lower and she has to rearrange herself next to me when they are ghosting over my belly causing me to shiver. I'm really ticklish but this isn't about ticklishness. I'm trembling because I know that she wants to go lower once her fingers slowly pull out of my underwear.

I can only think of one reason to stop her from kissing me down there and that's because I'm still embarrassed about how I react to her touches. My hands grab her arms but I'm hesitant to stop her as her breath on my hipbone feels so good.

"Lift your hips a little" She whispers so I decide to just let her do it. I want to know what it feels like and I want her to feel me like this. Because if she's the reason to make my body react this way then it can only be natural for her to see and feel it.

I lift my pelvis and allow her to take my underwear off. It happens fast because the next thing I know is how she's hovering between my legs and I can feel her hot breath hitting me over and over again. She waits a moment and lets me catch my breath. I'm thankful. This is nearly too much to handle. I try to calm my nerves.

The thing is; Gabe and I had sex, we did. Not every day… but we did. Still there were things that we almost never did just because we weren't craving for it. He liked it 'normal' where one of us was on top and our bodies kind of did the work. We didn't really do the stuff Brittany is about to do.

When her hands stroke my thighs and she kisses both insides, I reach down to cup one of her hands.

"Brittany… I've - this is new…" I pant and feel her hand squeezing mine back.

"Okay" She breathes and kisses my thigh again. "Try to relax. I'll stop if you want me to."

I nod although she can't see me and squeeze her hand to give the ok.

And then something warm and wet caresses over me. I gasp into the silent bedroom. I have to press my other wrist over my lips to muffle loud moans because I want to silently enjoy this. But that's impossible; I bite my skin until it hurts and decide that's not the point of it. Another loud moan leaves my lips while Brittany holds my hand so gently on my thigh.

Her tongue knows just what to do and I don't know why I was embarrassed at first. It feels like the most natural thing to do. I really hope she thinks the same. She must because she's not stopping. She's doing what she doing so… so well.

Only when my breaths are becoming irregular and the grip around her hand tighter, Brittany detaches her lips from my most sensitive spot causing me to sigh heavily. I don't know why she stopped but three seconds later her face appears in front of mine.

One of her thighs takes the spot where her body had been just before and her hand wanders all over everywhere. From my stomach, to my belly button, to my thigh, my knee and then up to my chest.

I'm still panting because of what she just did between my legs with her tongue. At first I appreciate the short break so I can catch my breath. But then I miss her… I miss her touch. I can't believe I'm already addicted to what she can do.

I thought her fingers were still ghosting somewhere around my chest so I jump when they are back between my legs. She repeats the movements that got me all worked up earlier and it also works this time. Within seconds she makes up for the fact that she stopped the thing she did with her tongue. It turns out that this is just as good if not even better.

I feel how she nudges my nose with hers and draws my attention back to her face. When I open my eyes she kisses me once before positioning her fingers lower. With a deep and trusting look, I allow her to do with me whatever she wants and that's when she pushes into me so slowly, making sure I won't get hurt.

"Oh God" I gasp when she's deep inside me and holds still for a couple seconds. Why do I feel like bursting already? It's the most perfect sensation to have her like this. Slowly she starts to move. Her movements are so soft but strong at the same time, I nearly lose my mind.

Inside and outside, circles and pushes – I don't know what she's doing but it feels incredible. Not from this world.

I kiss her jaw and pull her down for another kiss on the lips. It feels like hours that she makes love to me. I don't ever want her to stop although I can tell that I won't be able to hold back for much longer. With my left hand I stroke up and down her back and feel the sweat that has collected on her skin.

After a very intense thrust I have to grab her wrist because I know I'm going to come in like seconds. I wrap my other arm around her waist tightly because I need to hold on to her. I'm scared I will fall down somewhere if I don't hold on to her tight. She must know what is happening with me and so she lifts her body fully on top of mine and supports her weight on her elbow right next to my head.

Her body gets pressed flush against me while her hand is still caught between our bodies. With another kiss to my lips she continues to thrust into me. This time she emphasizes her moves by grinding her hips into mine. It's ten times more intense like this because I can now wrap both my arms around her upper body and my thighs press into her sides, like she's mine and mine to keep.

Her hot lips press kisses all over my cheeks and her hand works so hard but gentle between my legs. Her thumb keeps brushing against my most sensitive spot while two other fingers slide into me so easily as if they are meant to be there. A teardrop I never allowed to escape is running down my cheek but it's not because I'm sad. It's because I'm overwhelmed.

"Let go, beautiful… just let go. I'm gonna catch you" She breathes into my ear and so I do. My everything explodes with fireworks and waves of perfection and I give it all to her by screaming her name and biting her shoulder.

All the orgasms I've had in my life are nothing compared to this. Whether when I reached climax by touching myself or whenever Gabe was on top of me, pushing into me and I was lucky to come before him – it was nothing compared to this.

This is complete satisfaction and I live it to the very last second.

I'm trembling and shaking underneath Brittany's body, my mouth open and my breath hitching when she keeps moving gently inside me. Her thrusts turn softer and her kisses become comforting whispers into my ear.

"You're so amazing…"

I'm not capable to say something in response, so I just hold her tight and breathe against her neck.

When I finally manage to open my eyes, something darts into my heart because those blue orbs look down at me. It's pure adoration and I can't believe I have managed to live without these eyes. Years without such complete satisfaction. Two minutes without kissing those beautiful lips.

That's why I have to kiss her right now. Our lips move sloppily against each other and I moan softly at the feeling of her still being inside me.

Her lips ghost over mine so I can feel her smile against them. I want to say something – anything but my emotions are playing tricks with me. The only thing I manage to do is to grab her face with both my hands and lock our eyes.

A soft smile graces her lips and with all the strengths I have left, I mirror it.

Where were you, Brittany S. Pierce? Where were you all my life...

---

Chapter 14 *Waves*

Same night… Brittany…

She doesn't know what time it is, probably around midnight. Their bodies were so exhausted that they both fell asleep at one point with their legs still entangled and their naked bodies covered by nothing but each other's arms, strays of hair and tickling breaths.

But now they are both awake and Brittany has pulled the sheets up to their waists, keeping them comfortably warm. Everything feels warm when she lets her eyes wander over the Santana's face right in front of her. Especially when she earns those sheepish looks and a smile then and there.

They've been lying face to face for a long while, her arm resting on Santana's hip. Meanwhile the brunette has been playing with a strand of blonde hair on the pillow and studying it carefully.

When their eyes meet, Brittany can tell that the other woman is trying to say something but struggling with it.

"What?" She whispers softly and squeezes Santana's waist encouragingly. It causes a bashful grin. Santana clears her throat before she parts her lips to say what's on her mind.

"I guess I still can't quite believe this happened. I mean… my body – how it reacted. I must sound like a complete beginner. I sort of am though." She laughs embarrassed and hides her face in the pillow.

Brittany doesn't know what it is about Santana but every move she makes turns out to be sexy or incredibly cute.

"So you've never done this with a woman?" She dares to ask. Santana shakes her head. After a while she looks up into Brittany's eyes and shrugs softly.

"In high school my friend and I used to make out… but it was rather innocent. She said it was just practice, you know for boys. I guess it was a little more than practice if we had been honest about it. I still had no idea what it meant. Then she ended it anyway… that was the only experience I ever made with another girl."

Brittany has been wondering if Santana had ever gotten intimate with another woman in her past. She sure knows how to kiss one… at the same time she can tell that what they did tonight must have been new for her. The way she was shaking underneath her body, eager for her touch but also shy and nervous…

"Do you still talk to her?" She asks and lets her fingers run over Santana's skin.

"My friend from high school? Oh no I haven't seen her since graduation."

"So this was sort of your first time then?" She bites her tongue because she doesn't want to sound like some perv who just won another trophy or something. "Sorry that slipped out."

Santana chuckles and nods slowly.

"It's true… and the first time I ever truly came. Can you believe it?" Brittany can see how her cheeks turn deep red although it's dark in the bedroom. "That's rather embarrassing" She adds. Brittany props herself on her elbow so she can have a closer look at the woman lying next to her.

"No, that's nothing to be ashamed of" She says determinedly and pushes a strand of hair behind Santana's ear. "Actually that makes you very sexy… the fact that you just told me."

Santana grins bashfully and tilts her head.

"Really?"

"Yeah" She can't believe her heart is beating faster just by that look Santana gives her. Curious and timid, as if she can't believe what Brittany just said to her.

"Nobody's ever done this to me. Not like this" Santana whispers. Her finger touches Brittany's chin and then her lips.

"Nobody ever went down on you?" She feels the heat crawling over her cheeks because that question is kind of raw and very intimate. Just because they're lying naked in bed together doesn't mean she can ask Santana such personal questions. She wants to apologize and say she doesn't have to answer but Santana is quicker.

"Well… maybe once or twice but I don't think Gabe liked it. It was something completely different." She admits and shrugs almost apologetic. Brittany frowns because she can't believe what she's hearing. Is he an idiot?

"He must be crazy. Because I love your scent… and how you taste" Screw being careful with the words. It's only the truth.

Santana covers her mouth with her hand and looks back and forth between Brittany's eyes and lips.

"Oh my… you did not just say that." She snorts and turns onto her back to look away from Brittany.

"What? Why not? It's true!" Brittany says loud in order to defend herself. She has to laugh when Santana pulls the blanket up to her face and hides. "Seriously… you taste like heaven." She whispers when she scoots closer to Santana and spoons her side.

She sees how Santana holds still under the sheets and doesn't stop her when Brittany slowly pulls them down to reveal her face.

"Don't hide" Brittany mumbles before blowing a kiss to the brunette's cheek.

Santana turns her head so the tips of their noses are touching. She smiles bashfully.

"Okay" She whispers and shuffles her body so they're facing each other again.

Utterly careful Santana's hand makes its way on Brittany's hips under the covers. It warms her insides when it stays there and a thumb makes small circles on her skin.

"Did you set the alarm? Because we've gotta head to work in like seven hours" Santana suddenly says and gives Brittany a serious look.

"Yeah it's always set. Even on the weekend because then I can turn it off and fall asleep again. It's silly, I know."

Santana smiles and slowly moves forward until their lips are humming against each other. Brittany closes the gap between them. The hand on her hip holds on a little tighter when their lips meet for a kiss.

They've kissed quite a few times now but it surprises her every time just how soft Santana's lips are and how much she wants to kiss them for hours and hours after that. She pulls the covers up to their shoulders and soon her hand gets enwrapped by slender fingers.

"I think I'm about to fall asleep very soon" The brunette mumbles. Brittany leans in to press a kiss on her forehead.

"Good… me, too" She whispers and lets her head sink back into the pillow.

When she hears Santana's breath turn steady and calm she finally closes her eyes, too and lets sleep take over.

/

She should feel dead tired or physically wrung out after last night but her spirits haven't been this high in a long time. She's sipping her coffee, replaying the weekend in her head. That crazy weekend…

Santana's still in the shower and if she doesn't step out in like two minutes, then they're definitely going to be late for work. Well… Santana is going to be late. Shelby doesn't care what time Brittany shows up, she just lets her do her thing. Which is exactly how she likes it.

Work… what will that be like now? She can totally handle this professionally. If there's another job to do for her and Santana together, then that's easy. Because they already know how well they work together. The interview with Ann Dupré or the meeting with The Compasses – piece of cake! But they also hadn't slept together then… right.

How is she supposed to focus on anything that has to do with a magazine when Santana will be around her all the time? At least they don't share an office because that would be… phew…

She doesn't want to push Santana into anything – hell, she doesn't even know what this means in the first place! If Santana wants it to be a one-night-stand then what can she say? Maybe she'll step out of the bathroom in a couple minutes and say: 'Hey! Thanks for the night, you were great. Let's just stay friends'

That would be… the exact same thing that Brittany used to do with all those meaningless hook ups. Or maybe Santana will say that she doesn't even want to be friends anymore because this shouldn't have happened?

But it felt way too good to think like that...

She'll just have to accept whatever decision Santana makes. She grins foolishly when the bathroom door opens and Santana steps out with nothing but two towels on. One on her wet hair and one covering her amazing body.

"Sorry I'll be ready in like ten minutes, ok?" Santana says hastily and hurries into the bedroom to get dressed. Brittany can't even answer something and just lets her eyes follow those long legs until the door closes.

A couple minutes of waiting later her stomach grumbles. Once again there is no breakfast in the house. They'll just have to grab something on the way or make a quick stop at the cafeteria before they head to their desks.

With hunger and a nervous feeling in her stomach she pours herself another cup of coffee to calm her nerves as she doesn't know what is going to happen next between her and Santana.

"God I'm so gonna be late…" Santana mumbles when she finally steps out of the bedroom, fully dressed and ready to go. Some nice grey jeans, pumps, a blouse and Brittany has to swallow emptily at that view.

"You still want a cup of coffee?" She asks with a quick glance at her watch. Santana steps into the kitchen with a shy smile.

"No time… can I have a sip of yours?" Brittany parts her lips and wants to say yes. Instead she only nods and reaches her the cup. Their fingers brush against each other and when Santana guides the cup to her lips, Brittany's heart does a weird little flip.

"Thanks" Santana says softly while handing her back the mug. They stare at each other for a couple seconds before Brittany gets up on her feet.

"So you're ready?" She asks and points to the door.

"Yeah. Let's go before Shelby falls into another crisis… do we go with both cars or just one?"

Brittany blinks several times because she thought they would go with one as it wouldn't make sense to drive there separately only to come back home at the same time. Unless Santana doesn't want to come back. Only then something behind Santana catches her eye. It's the giant bag with all her clothes and stuff you need when you sleep somewhere else than home.

"Oh uhm… do you… I mean it depends on what your plans are for the next days. Are you going stay somewhere else?" She doesn't know why she's sounding so insecure. Who said Santana was going to stay another night? They never talked about where Santana would live after this weekend.

"I was kind of thinking I'd stay at a hotel for a couple nights until I know what to do. All my other clothes and stuff are still at my house. I can't stay with Gabe. I just… I need to figure out my life as quick as possible and decide where to go. I need to find my own apartment." Her voice sounds extremely weak at the last three words. Brittany bites her lip because she knows this won't be easy.

"You know you don't have to go to a hotel. You can stay here if you want. It's not much space but I don't want you to think that I don't want you here anymore."

Santana looks at Brittany intently. A warm smile forms on her lips but it's weak.

"Thank you… but I can't just stay here and be in your space all the time."

Brittany wants to object but then she realizes that Santana actually means something else. "I need to figure out what's going to happen next with my life and therefore I need to be for myself for a while, I think." She says with a low voice but Brittany understands just fine. And she really understands.

"But uhm…" Santana continues and makes a step forward towards Brittany. "I'm really thankful that you let me stay here. I don't think I would have felt this safe anywhere else." She almost whispers when she steps closer. "Last night…" Brittany swallows when tanned fingers reach for her hand. She slowly lets her eyes wander to Santana's face. "It was incredible."

A silent breath of relief leaves Brittany's lungs while she squeezes the hand in hers.

"It was." She agrees. When dark eyes meet hers, they both smile softly.

"I don't know what it means, yet but just because I can't live here now doesn't mean that…"

She doesn't need to finish the sentence because it's clear what she's trying to say. Except it's not but what's clear these days anyway?

All Brittany needs to know is that Santana doesn't regret it. And when the brunette gets lost in her eyes and wets her lips, she gets her answer.

They lean in at the same time and close their eyes for a soft kiss. Like butterflies landing on each other's lips. Everything is soft except for the fast throbbing in her chest but that's ok.

When they open their eyes and their foreheads rest together, they look down at their entwined fingers and their chests moving up and down. Eventually they break free from their trance and smile at each other.

"Let's go then. I think Shelby's going to kill you…"

Santana huffs and rolls her eyes before nudging Brittany's shoulder.

"Way to kill the mood" She mumbles and grins when Brittany leads them out of the kitchen.

"Sorry… maybe I can make it up sometime?" She smirks and grabs Santana's bag that's still on the floor. "Come on, I'll walk you to your car."

Santana lets her do so and when they are standing on the sidewalk where she parked her car, they grin sheepishly.

"I'll see you at work." Brittany whispers and kisses Santana on the cheek. She fumbles with her own keys.

"Yeah, I'll see you there." Santana she does the same thing Brittany just did and presses a kiss to her cheek, lingering a tiny bit longer.

Once Santana has stepped into the car and drives off, Brittany waits a couple minutes and then gets into her own vehicle to head back to the Sylvester building.

/

The same day… Santana's POV…

"I don't know what it is but something's different. You didn't cut your hair, did you?" Quinn mumbles. She's chewing on her spoon when I throw an annoyed glance at her. This is so Quinn – why can't she just think silently? Do I really look like something's different?

"No, I didn't and I'm also not wearing new clothes or anything of that matter."

Quinn, Kurt and I have been sitting in the cafeteria, enjoying our lunch break together. Well, enjoying is exaggerated. Actually I haven't been able to focus on anything ever since I stepped foot into the Sylvester building. Everything is spinning and turning in my head. I don't know how to put all these thoughts into order.

I'll have to find a very cheap hotel to stay for a couple nights because I need to think.

"Then what is it?" Kurt asks with his mouth full of dessert. "Come on Santana… it's pretty obvious that something is wrong. You've been looking worried all morning. You haven't eaten one single bite of your dessert."

I look down at my plate and it's true. The chocolate cake that Kurt brought me and Quinn still looks perfectly untouched and delicious. I can't eat it…

These two are so bad whenever they want to know something. Especially Quinn but also Kurt is being annoying right now. Maybe I should just get it over with. They will find out sooner or later anyways.

"Well…" I clear my throat and take a deep breath to tell them what happened Friday night but Quinn interrupts me before I can even begin.

"Oh my God! Where is your wedding ring?" She exclaims and stares down at my naked hands.

I took it off when I was standing in Brittany's bathroom before getting ready for bed on Saturday night. It had felt so heavy around my finger. I just had to take it off. I wrapped it into a tissue and I'm now keeping it in my purse. Do you give the wedding ring back to your husband when you split up? Or is that just when you blow up an engagement and you return the engagement ring? Why don't I know these things?

"Santana? What the hell is going on?" Quinn breathes and carefully reaches for my hand on the table.

"I uhm…" Why is my voice trembling now? They are my friends, not my parents. I don't have to justify myself in front of them. They just want to know. "I… we split up" I mumble and press my lips together.

Kurt gasps and covers his mouth with his hand while Quinn only stares at me with a blank expression. She squeezes my hand.

"Are you serious?" She whispers after a while and tries to make eye contact. I nod tiredly.

"Quite some things happened over the weekend. I'll stay at a hotel for the next couple days to figure out what I'm gonna do."

"What? You're not staying at a hotel! You stay with one of us!" Quinn says breathlessly while Kurt bobs his head.

"What do you want at a hotel? That's depressing and expensive" He states. I shrug weakly.

"I don't want to be a burden to any of you. I need space to think and…"

"Actually I have space more than enough" Kurt says quickly and raises his hand. "My roommate has been on a stay abroad and won't come back for the next three months. He's in Australia and paid for his half of the rent in advance. You could totally have his room. You wouldn't bother me, Santana. I swear I would leave you alone, so you can figure out whatever you need to figure out."

Kurt gives me the warmest smile and I almost burst into tears. Why is everyone so nice to me? I did a bad thing by cheating on my husband. I don't deserve to be taken care of.

"Kurt that's so sweet of you-"

"And that's why you're going to accept. You go get your stuff first thing when you get off work and then you come back to my place-"

"Hang on, Kurt" Quinn interrupts him and looks at me intently. "Before you start talking about getting all her stuff and so on, we must know if this is definite. I mean… is it really over between you and Gabe? What happened? Isn't it possible that you just need some time apart?"

They both look at me expectantly. I slowly shake my head. It would be easy. For me and Gabe to keep living our carefree life. It would be easy to live a marriage that is actually a friendship and make people believe we are a perfect couple.

But it would be so hard to breathe and be with the person you're not in love with.

"No…" I mumble and stare into space right in front of me. "No that's not possible, Quinn. Gabe and I should have never gotten married in the first place. I'm only realizing this now. Every day I manage to fit another puzzle piece to find out who I actually am."

Quinn narrows her eyes and nods slowly.

"Okay"

"I'll tell you guys more… but right now I'm still too overwhelmed by everything that happened on that weekend."

Kurt nods and puts his hand on Quinn's that is still resting on mine.

"Don't worry, Santana. You can stay with me and take whatever time and space you need. Only if you want to, of course. But my offer stands."

I smile at him and when a teardrop falls down my cheek, I nod.

"Thank you. I would like that a lot."

The two of them give me a compassionate smile. I truly don't know how I deserve such sweet people in my life.

/

The sand feels like a massage between my toes and the wind curls through my hair, making my head full of thoughts feel a little bit lighter.

I think I've been walking miles on this beach, holding my shoes in my hand and letting my eyes wander over the endless ocean out there. This is something I haven't done in years. Just go for a walk alone. It feels amazing to clear my head.

I'll have to call my parents soon and tell them the truth because there is no turning back. The only way I will go is forward, into a life that only I can make right for myself.

Next weekend I'll go back to Gabe's and get all the important things I need and that I forgot to pack. Gabe's… that sounds awfully weird in my head. Up until a couple days ago it was ours. It still feels like my house, too and that I actually still live there. I guess it will take a while until I feel like I have made myself a new home to live. Maybe Kurt can help me with my first try.

Who do I have to call to say I have a new address? All these little things that I need to take care of…

But what about the big things? Eventually we'll have to take care of a divorce – we can't stay married forever. Will I be able to afford living on my own? The way I know Gabe, he will want to support me until I can afford it all. I'd feel bad to take his money when we're not a couple anymore. Still, I need the car he bought for me to get to work because Kurt lives quite a bit further away.

And the joint bank account? Insurance? How do all these things work when you separate and eventually divorce? I feel like a child all over again because I have not the slightest clue. That's so embarrassing…

Gabe always took care of everything. I know how to do the laundry and cook and keep a giant apartment clean. I know how to do my job and how to be a friend but I don't know how these other important things work. I have to learn it all over again now that I'm alone.

Well… Kurt and Quinn won't leave me alone, I know that. I guess my brother Ricky will be there for me, too.

I just… I want to make it on my own.

With a pang I get reminded of Brittany's soothing touches and her tight embrace when we were lying in her bed. God how much I'd want her to hold me right now…

Her lips… and her breath on my skin. It felt so amazing.

I can't show up at her place now. That also wouldn't be fair to her because I don't want to start a push and pull game…

But I'd seriously give anything for a hug right now. Memories of last night rush through my mind and I get shivers when I remember her kisses everywhere. She kissed me everywhere. How does she know how to touch me like that? The way it made me tremble and shake so out of control? She knew all the buttons on my body - some I didn't even knew would work. How did she make me feel the most intense feeling I had ever experienced? Woah I'm dizzy...

I startle when cold water hits my ankles because a big wave just reached the shore and I didn't even see it coming. At the same time something vibrates in my pocket. For a moment I'm confused about all those things hitting me.

I step back onto dry sand and grab my mobile out of my pocket. I narrow my eyes because the setting sun is hitting the screen at an uncomfortable angle.

- Did u find a hotel? Are you safe and sound?

With an aching chest I smile at Brittany's message because we must have been thinking about each other at the same time. I take a couple seconds to type a reply.

- Kurt offered me to stay at his place. Safe but… I miss you.

I don't know what I'm thinking when I press send because – shit!

Can I tell her that? I don't want her to freak out or something. Well, I'm just saying that I miss her because that's what I do. It's not that big of deal. Unless she thinks that's weird because we just saw each other this morning? I woke up lying in her arms. I really shouldn't miss her already.

I can't call back a sent message, can I?

- I miss you, too

My heart suddenly hammers in my chest. Now I don't feel like a child who can't take care of herself anymore. I feel like a teenager… craving for the first serious crush. Have I never been a teenager acting all foolishly? What did I miss for Christ's sake?

With trembling fingers I type another reply and bite my lip when I send it out to Brittany.

- Do u want to join me for a walk on the beach?

I don't care that I've already been walking for the past two hours and that my feet are getting tired. Right now I feel like I could walk all night…

/

"How long have you been here?" Brittany greets me when we come to a halt in front of each other. She smiles as her glance drops down to my bare feet.

"A while… been enjoying the evening sun and the sound of the waves. There is something really calming about it."

Twenty minutes after our last message she called me and asked where exactly I was on the beach. We stayed connected until I saw her waving at me from a distance and then we slowly approached each other.

"Wanna walk a bit?" I ask and point down to where the water keeps hitting the dark sand. She nods and bends to take off her Converse. When she's also barefoot and feeling up the sand with her toes, we start walking.

"So Kurt has enough space then?" She asks once we're strolling at a comfortable pace and our wrists keep bumping against each other.

"Yeah… his roommate is out of the country so I can have his room for free. I can't believe how lucky I am."

"That's great. Kurt seems to be a lot of fun to hang out with."

"Yeah, he's great." I throw a glance to my right and see that she's smiling softly. I feel the urge to explain why I couldn't stay at her place. It's not that I didn't want to. It simply wouldn't have been the best idea.

"Brittany, I know I said I needed to be for myself for a while so I can think and get my life together. Now I'm living with Kurt, so it looks like I just made an excuse to not stay at your place but that's not what it is, ok?"

"Santana…" She stops me softly. "I know it wasn't an excuse."

I blink at her several times because I was kind of scared she would be disappointed.

"Really?"

"Of course. I mean… it's not like you're going to sneak into Kurt's bed at night and let him seduce you, too, right?"

My mouth falls open before I playfully slap her arm.

"Brittany!"

"I was kidding!"

I stare at her in disbelief.

"You think I'm that easy to get?" I challenge her. Brittany just grins victoriously. I nudge her again but this time I keep my hand on her arm and make a step towards her.

Automatically her arms wrap around my waist just when I look up into her eyes. They're almost as blue as the ocean right behind her. I forget that there are other people on this beach because I don't care right now.

"What now?" She whispers. I just shrug when there is a hand on the small of my back.

"You were so sure of yourself just a minute ago. What are you waiting for?" I ask softly and watch how Brittany's eyes drop to my lips.

"I was just joking" She breathes while a shy smile forms.

"I'm not…"

Her eyes widen ever so slightly and her lips part when she looks at me to make sure she's allowed to make her next move. With my empty hand I softly grab her forearm to pull her just an inch closer to me. Apparently that's all the permission she was looking for. With a smile on her lips she closes the gap between us.

My eyes flutter shut when her warm lips take me in. I instantly feel as light as a feather again. One of her hands wanders from my lower back up to my cheek. She caresses it softly when she pulls my upper lip between hers and kisses me so gently.

I have to grip her arm a little harder to make sure I won't float away on this sand but she holds me close to her.

I hum against her lips when she pulls back softly and then kisses the tip of my nose and once my forehead. I open my eyes and get greeted with that stunning blue once more. Her hands lock behind my back while I grin like a fool.

I really thought we would meet for a nice walk on the beach. I guess we did make about thirty steps… but this is even better. I absolutely don't mind we're not walking anymore.

"You sure know how to make my heart beat fast right now, Lopez" Brittany whispers after long seconds where we just watch each other's face.

"Is that so?" I ask and close my eyes when she lets her forehead rest against my temple.

She chuckles against my cheek and just holds me close for another while where we listen to the waves in the background and play with the sand between our toes.

It feels like it's hours later (and maybe it is) that we say goodbye at my car and wish each other sweet dreams.

---

Chapter 15 *Confessions*

At Kurt's place… two days later…

"Santana, I really don't mean to be too nosy but now that you're here living with me and we get along well, right?"

I swallow down a spoon of cereals before nodding at Kurt's question. We've been sitting at the kitchen table for the past ten minutes, silently shoveling dinner into our mouths.

I knew he was going to ask sooner or later… the question why Gabe and I have broken up has kind of been an elephant in the room. When I arrived at Kurt's place on Monday evening, he didn't bother asking questions and just showed me my room. Later he brought me a tray with food for dinner. I wanted to tell him why I was here and not at my own house but I had been just too tired to explain.

Then on Tuesday evening Kurt said that I could talk to him if I should ever feel like it and I thankfully accepted without making use of his offer, yet though. I guess there is no reason not to tell him a little more… after all he's letting me stay here.

"Well… I just can't stop thinking about you and your husband splitting up. I mean I never met him but Quinn says he's a really nice guy. The fact that you got married at such a young age made me assume that you must have been very much in love but then why would you break up after not even two years of marriage? That's like… so sad and I can't help but wonder what must have happened. I'm sorry for being all up in your business." He talks so fast that I have to stop chewing in order not to miss a word. I smile at him and put my spoon down. With a deep breath I lean back in my chair.

"That's ok, I guess sooner or later more people will hear about it and I'll have to tell everyone what happened. It's uh… it's funny that you say we must have been very much in love." I chuckle bitterly because the realization simply hurts. "But that was not the case. Not at all actually…"

Kurt's eyes widen.

"You two didn't love each other?" He asks incredulously.

"We did…" I state slowly and I mean it. "We loved each other. But… then we got married."

Kurt stares at me dopily and I can't blame him. What I say does sound weird. And silly. It makes me feel stupid.

"I'm not following" Kurt mumbles.

"Trust me, I'm not really following, either. All these things are happening and… I don't know what to do about them." I whisper while I let my hands run through my hair. "Gabe and I got married because it was convenient. We made a really good couple and after being friends for quite l long while we eventually fell in love. This might sound stupid now but uh… I don't think either of us ever fell very deep. It couldn't have been enough to stay together forever."

I hide my face in my hands because it just goddamn hurts to realize those things. Not even a week ago, Gabe and I were still – Gabe and I… he took care of me in a way and I took care of him in another. Husband and wife after all… now I'm supposed to just manage on my own?

Am I being a baby or is it ok to grieve even though I initiated it? I don't think Gabe would have said something if I hadn't. He even wanted to get me pregnant so…

"For quite some time I didn't see it. It was a comfortable marriage that gave us stability. But it wasn't a truly happy marriage. Does that make sense?"

Kurt scratches his forehead and slowly nods.

"I guess it does. So you're not very sad about it?"

"Oh no I'm sad. I am… but I think it's because it happened so fast, you know? It's so definite although a week ago everything was normal. On Friday everything changed. It's just hard to grasp, I guess."

I watch how Kurt knits his eyebrows in confusion.

"On Friday? So you still slept under the same roof although you were breaking up? Wasn't that awkward?"

I can tell my face is blushing. I grab my spoon to make time and think of what to say.

"Oh uh… yeah, no I wasn't there anymore."

"Did you stay with a friend?"

"No, uh… well yes. I stayed with Brittany"

"Huh?" Kurt's eyes widen. A weird grin forms on his lips as if he thinks he just misheard.

"Brittany" I mumble, suddenly not so sure if it's a good idea to have this conversation.

"Seriously? You stayed with Brittany? Wow… I didn't know you two were so close. I would have thought you asked Quinn or Rachel even but Brittany? Huh…"

I frown.

"Rachel? No I'm so not close with her. Brittany just – well we've been working together and I guess we get along quite well although not really in the beginning. She helped me and I thought why not like- I mean she…we… just because I'm close with Quinn doesn't mean that I have to live with her and also Brittany offered me to stay and so-"

"Santana hey, I wasn't asking you to justify. I was just wondering, that's all. If you and Brittany are friends now then that's great. Right?"

Kurt smiles sweetly. I slowly nod, my heart beating foolishly fast.

"Right! Right, I mean… yeah."

"So why didn't you stay with her? Not that I'm complaining – I love having company."

"Oh it's just because she doesn't have much space and I guess it's… I don't know."

Kurt narrows his eyes. I think he wants to ask something else but lets it be.

"Okay well… it's getting late, I should head to bed. But just so you know, I totally love having you here. You don't have to hurry finding an apartment, ok?"

He gets up and puts his bowl into the dishwasher before turning back to me and squeezing my shoulder.

"Thanks, Kurt. I really appreciate it."

"No problem. Sleep tight. Shall we leave for work same time tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, I'll drive. Sleep well."

He winks at me and then leaves the kitchen to get to his room.

I decide to stay for a couple more minutes and just ponder about how I am going to tell my parents. It was easy to tell Kurt – he's a friend who doesn't judge me. But if I imagine my mother's disappointed face and my dad's bitter expression… I get sick to my stomach.

I'll just have to get it over with. The sooner the better. Maybe things will feel more real afterwards.

With a heavy sigh I sink into my "new" bed an hour later and allow myself to imagine it is Brittany's Superman blanket that I cuddle into. Just because…

/

The next day…

I try to write down as fast as I can but Shelby talks like a waterfall. For the past fifteen minutes she's been ranting about what needs to get better and what we need to change and improve in our celebrity department. Do this and that… and would you please take care of that, Santana? I'm sure you'll find the time to call Eric and ask for permission to do this thing and remind him of that other thing and blah and will you take care of that as well, Santana? And bring me another cup of coffee – that would be awesome. Blah!

"Do you think you could take care of that as well?" She asks when her eyes bore into mine. I'm not sure if I know for sure what she is talking about but I've learned it's better to just say yes and smile politely. So I do and Shelby nods satisfied.

"Very well. That's all then, you can go." I have already turned around and want to leave her office when Shelby calls me back. "Oh Santana? Bring me a cappuccino on your way back from the cafeteria, will you? Thanks."

My fingernails dig into the notepad that I've been holding against my chest. With a fake smile I let her know that – of course – I'll bring her a cappuccino on my way back from the cafeteria although I wasn't even planning on heading to the cafeteria any time soon. Guess I am now.

Ugh… Shelbs…

I rub my tired eyes while I'm standing in front of the vending machine. Boy I could use one, too but that would be my fifth today. It's not even two pm, yet! It's because I couldn't find sleep last night until early morning hours.

I spent half of the night tossing and turning, trying to find the best words to explain to my parents about what's been happening with my life and that Gabe is no longer going to be their perfect son-in-law. God… they're going to hate me. Probably disown me. Not that I care very much but I really think they might do that. They love Gabe like their own son.

How can I tell them? Seriously how?

I startle when I feel a hand on the small of my back. When I turn around, I get to look into those eyes that have been the other reason for my sleepless nights.

Brittany smiles at me carefully. Before I know it, the hand is already gone and leaves me shivering.

"Hey" She says. All I want is to lean against her and close my eyes for a minute. But that would look quite funny since we're standing in a busy cafeteria. Why are there always so many co-workers hanging out and sipping coffee? Don't they have to work?

"Hi" I breathe and smile back at her. She's wearing a tight shirt and black jeans… sigh…

We haven't really found the time to speak ever since we met at the beach and 'went for a walk'. We hugged and kissed until the sun swallowed us whole, that's what we did. But so good…

"Let me guess." Brittany points to the coffee that is now ready. "Shelby ordered you down here to get her another right after she dictated you to do ten other things."

I chuckle and nod with a sigh.

"Correct. But I have stopped wondering why I always have to do those things instead of Quinn. It only gives me a headache and that's not what I need today."

Brittany knits her eyebrows together and tilts her head to the side.

"Are you okay? You look pretty exhausted."

I sigh because no, I'm not really ok.

"I could be better, I guess." I admit when I look up into Brittany's face.

"Is everything fine with living at Kurt's?" She asks. Her eyes pierce into mine.

"Oh yeah. That's great. It's just… I'm going to visit my parents after work and tell them that their daughter failed marriage." I whisper the last part as a lump forms in my throat.

"Oh" Brittany hums and when her hand brushes against mine, my body jerks. "Santana, you didn't fail." She says and tries to get me to look up into her eyes. "They will understand."

I hiss.

"You don't know my parents. Me and Gabe breaking up is the last thing they are expecting. They will probably think I am joking or something. They'll hate me."

"Hey…" Her fingers wrap around my forearm and she squeezes softly. "They are your parents. They will have to accept and understand it."

Automatically I lean closer. When her lips brush against my forehead, I get snapped back into reality. The reality of standing in the cafeteria and there are Silvesterians everywhere.

I take a step back which forces Brittany to drop her hand.

"I can only hope so but they are still going to be so disappointed. Anyways – Shelby is waiting for her coffee, I should go back." I mumble and try to give Brittany an apologetic smile.

"Oh yes, don't let her wait. But uh… you know if, you want to come over later and just hang out? I don't know we could cook together. I mean if you want to." She shrugs softly.

"I uh… I probably won't be in the best mood when I get back from my parents and not make such good company." I mumble and shake my head.

"I wouldn't mind."

I look up into Brittany's face. When I see nothing but sincerity, I press my teeth together. I don't know what to say because honestly I have no idea what this is. What is this thing with me and Brittany?

"But you know what, you should just take the time and…" She trails off and looks at her feet.

"Brittany I'm sorry I haven't really talked to you since the beach… I wanted to." I nudge her shoe with my own and take a breath. "I really did. But everything is just so overwhelming at the moment. I…" I shrug because I don't know what to say. I don't want to disappoint her. I really don't.

"Don't worry" She whispers. I shiver when she smiles so purely at me. "We'll just see where things go, ok?"

"Ok" I don't know what that means. But I guess it's an idea.

"My offer stands if you want to come over and cook something for dinner. And if you don't – that's fine, too."

I smile at her and grab the coffee.

"Thank you." I whisper. With one last glance I turn around and make my way back to Shelby's office.

/

Five hours later… Brittany…

Her shoulders ache badly. She sat at her desk at the office for hours without a break. She's been so busy with research work and texting or calling her sources…

Her neck is killing her. For the past twenty minutes she's been lying on her couch like a bag of cement, not moving an inch. Only when she feels like she's regained some energy, she reaches out and grabs the pile of envelopes from the coffee table.

She forgot to go through her mail a couple days. Now there's already a giant pile. Bills, bills, bills… an invitation, another bill and an envelope with a thin handwriting on the front. Brittany narrows her eyes when she holds the envelope in front of her face. Slowly her heart starts beating louder. She turns it around and there is the sender's address… Linda Hayes.

It hurts when Brittany swallows. She has to sit up on the couch before she fumbles on the envelope with trembling fingers. Once it's open, she pulls out the letter and closes her eyes for a moment. She really wants to read this. At the same time it freaks her out.

She didn't call Linda on her birthday although Diane's mother asked her to. Each time Brittany had grabbed the phone and dialed Linda's number, she hung up with a sick feeling in her stomach. She was still too much of a coward so the birthday came and Brittany didn't call.

The letter is probably saying how disappointed she is. Or not? Maybe it just says how Linda's doing at school?

With a deep breath Brittany opens her eyes and unfolds the paper in her hand. It's written so beautifully. She always envied all the Hayes women for their careful handwriting. When her eyes wander over the first sentence, immediate tears burn in her eyes but she forces them back.

Dear Brittany

I know mom called you some time ago and don't worry, it's ok that I didn't hear from you on my birthday. I would have asked her not to contact you if I had known that she was planning on doing. I know you don't want to hear from us.

Still here I am writing you a letter as I can't take it anymore. Maybe I'm being selfish. I'll risk you getting mad at me.

It's been so long and I always wonder how you are. Are you doing alright? I'm pretty sure you're in some kind of trouble… because that's generally what you do.

Where do you work currently? Do you still live in L.A.? I hope this letter reaches you and that you didn't move. I met a friend of Diane last week and she said she thought to have spotted you in a store but wasn't sure if it was really you.

Well… maybe you're wondering how I am doing, too. I'm actually fine. I started my first year at college, can you believe it? Also I have a boyfriend now. His name is Spencer and I think you would like him. Mom loves him already but I wasn't expecting anything else as she's always been very supportive. She really thought of you as a part of the family, too, you know.

Anyways, I should stop writing now and head to my next dance class. Wish I could show you what we do here all day long. We dance and dance and dance… I know you would love it.

If you ever want to call or write back – I'd be so happy about it. But you don't have to. I'd understand.

Actually I just wrote that to not make you feel bad. Truth is; I really want to hear from you and think you owe me. Please give us some sign of life.

I hope you're fine…

Linda

She swallows when she finishes the letter and holds it to her chest. Every single beat hurts in her ribcage.

She didn't think Linda would write her after she hadn't done anything to contact the girl on her birthday. She's really the biggest coward living on earth. Not once has she managed to call Linda.

And now the nineteen-year-old writes her a letter out of the blue to let her know how she's doing. Why can't she be as courageous as Linda? How hard can it be to let the family know she lives?

She'll have to answer Linda… with a letter? An e-mail? A phone call will only lead to uncomfortable silence so a letter should do. But what is she gonna say? Apologize for shutting them out of her life? Every explanation would sound pathetic and ridiculous.

'I couldn't see your faces or hear your voices any longer because everything reminded me too much of Diane.'

That sounds stupid! It's not their fault that they are Diane's family!

'Being around you guys made me feel guilty because Diane and I broke up two weeks before she died.'

They would laugh at her and her silliness. All they want is a sign of life.

/

She's been standing in her kitchen. Her appetite has gone lost somewhere along the way but she should still eat something for dinner. She bought this sushi-kit and a giant knife but now she's not really in the mood anymore.

What's the point of making sushi for yourself? Santana won't show up… it's already past eight.

Did her parents yell at her when she told them about her marriage? Maybe she'll want this thing between them (whatever it is) to end and they'll have to arrange themselves as friends whenever they have to work with each other.

Friends… it could work, right? It's not like she doesn't know how to be a friend. She could totally be Santana's friend. If that's what she wants…

The whole thing is silly anyways. What was she thinking when she started developing feelings for a married woman? Feelings – since when does she do feelings again?

Just because they kissed and spent a weekend together doesn't mean there are feelings involved. Actually it was a pretty physical thing so far. They had sex and it was – mind-blowing…

But you can have mind-blowing sex with anyone. It doesn't mean there have to be feelings.

Ugh stop the ridiculous denial, she thinks to herself. She likes Santana. As in more than just liking to kiss her. Otherwise she wouldn't have dropped everything on Monday evening and met her at the beach for a walk.

But what can she do? Santana is clearly at a different point right now. She's going through separation… While Brittany hasn't even been near the term of a 'girlfriend' in a long time.

Knock-Knock…

Brittany turns around and looks towards the door. Did she change her mind?

Slowly she makes her way to the entrance and when she opens the door to peek outside, she bites her lip because Santana is standing there with a bottle of wine.

"Oh wow, maybe I should better leave again?" The brunette greets her and stares at Brittany's hand in terror. Her glance drops down to see what makes Santana's eyes widen.

"Oh! It's a sushi knife. I was about to… to make sushi and I bought this super knife to cut the rolls."

Santana smiles softly when she throws a glance over Brittany's shoulder.

"You're making sushi? Is it safe? With the knife and… the raw fish?"

"Oh well I make it vegetarian. Just rice and cucumber and some avocados. And the seaweed of course."

"Wow… sounds good actually."

They blink at each other and that's when Brittany realizes that Santana is still standing outside but probably came over to get inside. She raises the hand with the knife and points over her shoulder.

"Do you want to come in and help a bit? I bought way too much to eat it all for myself."

"I'd love to… I haven't had sushi in forever."

She slowly steps inside. When Brittany closes the door behind her, their eyes lock for a couple seconds where they just look and a small smile forms on their lips.

"Drop your jacket anywhere. You can also watch TV while I prepare the food if you want."

Santana takes off her jacket and hangs it over one of Brittany's right next to the door.

"Watch TV?" She clicks her tongue. "I'd prefer to watch you and your sushi skills." She says and follows Brittany into the kitchen.

"Well… I've only done it twice before with Puck. I don't know why but one evening we watched this cooking show and we got totally fascinated by how they made sushi. Puck and I hurried to the next store and got all the stuff we needed. It tasted quite bad the first time but then we tried again and it turns out Puck and I could open up our own sushi restaurant."

She chuckles and grabs an apron to put around her waist. Santana sits down by the kitchen table, watching how Brittany prepares a cutting board and reaches for the pan with damp rice.

"You and Puck seem close… have you been friends for a long time?"

Brittany turns around with a grin.

"Yeah he's my best friend. We went to the same high school and stayed friends once I started studying. We were inseparable. Diane was quite jealous at times… Puck and a friend own a bar. Rachel and I used to hang out there all the time. We still do but just not every night anymore."

Santana nods acknowledging. Brittany points to the knife in her hand.

"Wanna learn how to make sushi now?" She grins and watches how Santana gets up from her chair to step next to Brittany.

"If you really think you know what you're talking about? I'm starving…"

"Oh don't worry about that. You'll have eaten enough for days after this delicious dinner. So first of all you put the seaweed in front of you. Then you grab a spoon and spread some rice on it but not too much. It's quite sticky so you need to be patient."

She takes a spoon of rice from the pan and puts it on the seaweed while Santana watches over her shoulder.

"You decide what you want to have in your sushi. I love cucumber and avocado, so I take a thin slice of each…" She grabs a small bowl of the already cut vegetable and adds it to the rice in front of her. "Now now comes the tricky part."

She glances over her shoulder and meets Santana's big grin.

"Oh yeah, what's so tricky?" She whispers so her breath hits the skin on Brittany's neck.

"Well you want it to look like some nice sushi rolls, right? So you have to wrap it up really carefully like this." She starts rolling up the seaweed sheet, demonstrating it and then points to the almost finished product. "Now that's not how you eat sushi. We need to cut it first. I need my super knife. Can you hand it to me?"

Santana's glance wanders to the knife right next to Brittany. She could easily reach it but she just wants to activate the brunette who does as she's told with a smirk on her face.

"You mean this one?" She mumbles and reaches for the sharp knife. Their fingers touch when Brittany takes it.

"Yes. So one roll of sushi will give you about four or five pieces. You just hold it loosely and then… cut."

With practiced hands she proves Santana that she gets five good pieces and puts them on an empty plate next to the rice pan.

"Easy, huh?" She breathes when throwing a glance at Santana. The brunette nods smiling and when she presses her lips to her shoulder, Brittany feels a tingling sensation in her lower stomach.

"Can I try the next one?" Santana asks softly. Brittany hands her the spoon for the rice.

"Sure but I better stand right behind you. Just in case you forget how to hold the knife or something."

Santana chuckles and pulls up an eyebrow. They switch positions and Santana takes a new seaweed sheet from the package.

"I put it in front of me and add some rice. But it's sticky so might need to be patient." Brittany laughs at the imitation and steps impossibly close to Santana, causing the woman to exhale a trembling breath.

"I see you're a fast learner. Oh, I'm sorry – am I standing too close?" She asks innocently and takes in the scent of Santana's hair when she leans in. "I just want to make sure you make no mistake."

Santana clears her throat and starts rolling up the seaweed after adding some cucumber.

"I'm good. Maybe you're standing a little close but you know… I want to make everything right so I guess it's better if you watch."

"Yeah"

She grabs the sharp knife and Brittany narrows her eyes when she glances over Santana's shoulder, observing every move.

"Oh no" Santana exhales with a shrug. "I think I forgot how to cut the roll into five equal pieces."

Brittany can't hide a funny grin. With one hand she reaches between Santana's waist and elbow to carefully cup the hand holding the knife.

"Luckily I still remember." They chuckle goofily like teenagers when they start cutting the sushi together. Once they have five nice pieces, Santana puts them on the plate and leans back into Brittany's embrace.

"You're right, making sushi is so easy." She mutters and closes her eyes for a moment while Brittany squeezes her hips.

"Told you. Let's hurry because I'm starving, too." She steps away from Santana's back although she'd rather just want to hold her and forget about sushi. She grabs another cutting board and they start working next to each other.

/

"You were not promising too much." Santana blurts and pats her stomach. They've been sitting on the couch and munching piece after piece of sushi while watching a movie on TV and talking a bit. Mostly about Shelby because she was being super annoying today. Even with Brittany.

"Glad you came over then." Brittany agrees after swallowing down her last bite. Santana smiles and puts her empty plate next to Brittany's on the coffee table.

"Well… I didn't just come for sushi." She mumbles. Then her expression turns serious. Brittany thinks to detect sadness.

"Hey" She whispers and reaches for Santana's hand. "How did things go with your parents?"

She's wanted to ask this question ever since she let Santana walk through the door but then they cooked and she didn't want to ruin the atmosphere. But now that the sweet smile on Santana's face has disappeared, she needs to ask.

The brunette sighs.

"It was worse than I expected. If that's even possible. I called Gabe after work to ask if it's ok to tell my parents. That was already so weird. He was being all distant and as always in a hurry. He said I should do whatever feels right and that he already told his parents. I don't understand why he didn't warn me – they could have called me and I would have been all unprepared. I'm sorry… do you even want to hear this? This is so weird to tell you about Gabe, I'm sure it's awkward for you to listen. I'm sorry."

"No, actually I'm interested." Brittany reassures Santana and nudges her knee with her own.

Santana presses her lips together and then nods shyly.

"Well... before we hung up, he agreed that I could come over on the weekend and get some more stuff that I need. Stuff for my online banking… or the charger for my laptop. It sounds silly because those things were always there when I needed them and now I have to organize everything. I also asked Gabe if we could talk in person to clear some things. I feel really shabby to discuss the money thing so soon because I've not even moved out completely and it somehow still feels like we're a couple although we're not. Just because that's what my life used to be like for the past three years, you know?"

Brittany's heart feels heavy when she watches Santana obviously struggling. "I'm sorry, Brittany. You shouldn't be the one who has to listen to me complaining about the pains of separation…" She squeezes Brittany's hand. "I really don't know how to do it better right now, I'm sorry."

"Santana, stop apologizing. I think I would have told you by now if I couldn't handle it. So yeah, it's a little weird to hear about you and your husband but it's obviously bothering you so why not talk about it openly? I mean… if I know what's business that's even better, right?"

She doesn't know exactly what she's trying to tell her with that. Honestly she prefers to play with open cards and know what is going on instead of just fooling around with Santana and then later finding out that they have rushed things.

"Yes" Santana whispers and smiles at their entangled hands.

"I can imagine it must feel uncomfortable to talk about what you're going to do about your financial situation. But I'm sure Gabe is aware that you have to work together to make it possible, right?"

"I know… I just hope things won't turn nasty once we're talking about a divorce, you know? I guess Gabe and I can handle it somehow. We were always friends, too so… I hope we can find a way."

Brittany scoots a little closer to Santana and carefully puts an arm around her shoulder.

"What did your parents say?" She whispers and closes her eyes when Santana rests her temple against her cheek. This feels so intimate. She doesn't remember being so close to someone and just talk. It feels nice…

"I told them to sit down once they had welcomed me in their house. My mother had prepared some tea and coffee. My father was like 'Cookie are you pregnant?'" She imitates her father's deep voice. Brittany squeezes her shoulder.

"I said no and that it isn't going to happen anytime soon or well – ever. My mother stared at me like I was some alien. I burst into tears because I was about to break their hearts. Then I just told them."

Brittany presses her lips together because she can hear the pain in Santana's voice. She shouldn't feel bad for breaking her parents' hearts – parents have to understand if their children make a decision like this even if it hurts!

"My mother cried and my father just stared out of the window. After endless long minutes he turned towards me and said that he was beyond disappointed. He can't understand why I would leave someone like Gabe. Why I would ruin my life so recklessly without thinking about the consequences. He said I'll never find someone like Gabe ever again, especially not once I'm divorced."

Brittany hisses at that.

"Please... it's the twenty-first century." She mumbles when she takes Santana's hand into hers. "You don't believe that, right? That's complete bullshit. Excuse my language but come on."

Santana chuckles and softly sobs at the same time, slowly nodding her head.

"I know but it still hurts if your dad says something like that to your face."

"I see… but let me assure you – you'll never have trouble finding someone." She has to swallow when Santana looks up and their eyes lock. Her chest stings when she thinks of Santana finding a new man – or anyone. Because that's not what she was trying to say.

"I'm not really looking for someone." Santana whispers. Brittany bites her lip. She has to look away from those brown eyes because – ouch.

"Right" She breathes and swallows the lump in her throat. Of course Santana isn't looking for someone – she's about to get divorced. Why did she think there might be the slightest chance that they could be something?

"No, I mean-" Santana turns her body towards Brittany and reaches for her cheek with her free hand. Her thumb caresses over Brittany's skin. Her eyes roam all over Brittany's face. "I…"

Brittany's heart jumps when a finger strokes over her lips. They hang at each other's glances, both waiting for Santana to finish her sentence.

When the brunette opens her mouth and Brittany holds her breath, they get interrupted by a buzzing device between their bodies.

"Oh" Santana mumbles an apology and reaches into her pocket. She pulls out her mobile awkwardly. "It's a message from Kurt. He's wondering where I am."

Brittany chuckles. On one hand because Kurt is already worrying about Santana and on the other because the moment got ruined. What was Santana about to say?

"I'll just quickly let him know." Santana says and drops Brittany's hand to type a reply.

Brittany uses the time to breathe and gather her thoughts. Maybe she should get them a glass of wine? Santana brought a bottle and they completely forgot about it over sushi. But then Santana probably won't be able to drive home. Should she offer her to stay the night? Then what? Are they going to sleep in bed together and just…

What does it all mean? Does this thing even need a label? Maybe she should just enjoy without thinking so much.

Only when something touches her nose, she realizes that Santana has put her phone away and smiles sheepishly.

"Did you just boop my nose?" Brittany asks with a grin. The brunette shrugs softly.

"It's kinda cute so…"

"What? My nose?"

"Yeah. Don't you think?"

"You're asking me if I think my own nose is cute?"

Santana clicks her tongue with a playful eyeroll. She cups Brittany's hand and their pinkies link almost automatically. Brittany can't believe that this has sort of turned into their thing. Linking pinkies? Like… pinkies? That's so… sweet.

"Can I ask you something?" Santana whispers when she looks down at their fingers.

"Yeah"

"Alright uhm…" Brittany watches how Santana becomes nervous. "Actually I don't know how to ask."

Brittany frowns not sure what to say when Santana stares down at their hands.

"Oh uhm… okay. Is it something about work?" Maybe she can help by guessing.

Santana shakes her head. "No"

"Is it about me?"

"Yes, sort of. I mean, not just you."

"Then… me and you?"

Santana nods tentatively which causes Brittany's heart to make another jump. "Okay. You mean about us and… what happened?"

"Yes" Santana mumbles.

"As in what it means?"

"U-huh?"

"Alright. That's good because I've been wondering, too."

When their eyes lock there is hope showing on Santana's face.

"You have?"

"Yes… of course. I can't stop thinking about what happened but at the same time I don't want to pressure you because you're having enough to worry about with Gabe and your parents."

Santana turns her head bit more towards Brittany which renders their faces close together.

"You can't stop thinking about it… in a good way?" She asks hesitantly and causes Brittany to chuckle.

"Yes in a good way, silly."

"Oh" Santana grins. She blushes when Brittany leans in and kisses her cheekbone.

Her lips linger longer than she planned but Santana's skin just tastes too sweet. Her lips wander down and plant another kiss to the softness of her cheek and another on her beautiful jaw. With one hand she reaches into Santana's hair and softly grabs the back of her neck. With the other she cups her cheek to pull her closer.

"I really can't stop thinking about kissing your lips because they are amazing." She whispers and rests her forehead against Santana's. She hears a soft sigh and senses how Santana's fingers wrap around her wrist. "I can't help it… today at the coffee machine I almost leaned in to kiss you."

True… there had been a moment when they were talking about Santana's parents. Santana seemed truly desperate and so Brittany's lips brushed against her forehead just because they were standing so close. Caught up in the moment, she had almost tried to kiss her but then Santana remembered Shelby's coffee. Luckily. It probably would have looked a little weird if she had kissed Santana in the cafeteria.

"I know…" Santana breathes and her glance drops to Brittany's lips. "Still feel the urge?"

"To what?"

"To kiss me."

Brittany swallows thickly when Santana is obviously reading her mind.

"I do."

"Maybe you should do something about it then."

"You mean as in kissing you?" Brittany asks honestly wondering. Can she just kiss Santana when she feels like it? Technically it has happened before. She has just kissed her without asking for permission on the terrace of the Sylvester building. Or the first time on Santana's couch. God what was she thinking back then? She had kissed her out of nowhere with tears all over her cheeks.

"Yes" Santana whispers and sucks in her bottom lip to prepare herself. "Or… I could kiss you?"

It makes Brittany laugh softly because they've been talking about kissing each other without either one of them bringing up the courage to just do it.

"If you want to? I totally wouldn't mind-" She gets stopped by soft lips on her own. Nothing could shut her up better.

Santana's arms wrap around Brittany's neck and her weight presses delicately into her side. Their lips play with each other shyly at first until Brittany needs more and asks for access by tickling Santana's lips with her tongue.

They smile against each other when the kiss turns more intense and Brittany sinks down to lie on her back. Since Santana's arms are still around her neck, she gets pulled with her and lands on top of Brittany.

She can't describe the feeling that is rushing through her mind and body when she holds Santana in her arms like that and wraps her legs around the slim waist.

The way Santana hungrily kisses her and lies on top of her so confidently… why does she live with Kurt again? They should totally do this every single night.

"You know…" Santana pants when she breaks away from the kiss and supports her weight on her elbows. Brittany opens her eyes and smirks when she sees the blush on Santana's cheeks. "We still haven't gotten any further about that… that question. You know, about us."

But she leans down and kisses Brittany once more before she even gets an answer.

"Sorry" She mumbles when she pulls back. "But you're way too good at this."

"I'm not complaining at all." Brittany husks and tries to control her breathing. "But you're right, we probably should try and find out what it all means instead of making out."

"Yeah" Santana grins. She puts her head in the palm of her hand, looking down at Brittany lovingly. "How do we do that?" She asks with her eyebrows knitted together. Brittany ponders for a moment.

"Maybe we could tell each other what we think when we're spending time together?"

Santana seems to be thinking about this, then tilts her head to the side.

"You mean like… what we're feeling at that time?"

"Yes. Like that."

"Okay. What do you feel then?"

"Oh uh… you mean when we're spending time together?"

Santana chuckles.

"That's what you just said, remember?"

"Right but now I realize that I'm not really good at this. At expressing my feelings."

"Why not?"

"Because… it's been a while. I'm bit rusty when it comes to that."

"Okay. No problem. Do you want me to go first?"

Brittany bobs her head and smiles encouragingly, glad that Santana is willing to go first.

"Ok… whenever we spend time together like right now - I feel really good" She bites her lip. Brittany can't help but grin widely. "I kind of don't want to be anywhere else because the way you kiss me makes my knees go weak and I want to knit you a scarf or something."

Brittany bursts with laughter at the last part and the way she says it so sweetly. Three seconds later she regrets her outburst.

"Oh no" Santana mumbles hiding her face. "I said that out loud, didn't I? The thing with the scarf?"

Brittany nods and wraps her legs tighter around the brunette's waist.

"I didn't actually mean knitting a scarf, just… you know." Santana mumbles right before burying her face in the crook of Brittany's neck.

"I would love a scarf." Brittany replies with a chuckle and lets her hand wander over Santana's back. "I'd wear it all the time."

This time it's Santana who snorts with laughter and pokes Brittany's ribs.

"Shut up…" She mumbles against Brittany's neck.

"Well…" Brittany speaks up because now that Santana said she would knit her a scarf, she needs to get it together and tell her what she feels. It can't be that hard. "What I feel when we're together is-" She bites her lips and closes her eyes for a second before saying what's on her mind. Luckily Santana can't see her face right now. "Is that I'm so crazy about you."

She holds her breath when she doesn't know what Santana will say next. Was that too much? She senses how Santana lifts her head so they're face to face. She's smiling. Brittany sighs a breath of relief.

"Really?" She whispers and looks back and forth between Brittany's eyes and lips.

"Yeah" Is everything she gets to say because her lips are busy kissing Santana two seconds later.

It feels like hours that they lie on the couch and 'talk' about their feelings. And by talking she means kissing.

Maybe it wasn't much that they said today. Maybe it wasn't very informative.

But she knows that Santana feels good when they're together and that's everything she needs to know right now.

---

Chapter 16 *Dances*

Santana's POV…

What a day… I don't know what it is about Fridays but somehow they always seem to be the most exhausting ones. Maybe because it's still not Saturday?

I've been pondering about the weekdays for the past ten minutes just so I don't have to step out of my car and get inside my house. Or well… my old house.

This morning I called Gabe and asked if I could come by because there are some things that I really need. My computer has been dead since yesterday evening because I forgot the charger. Also I really need some fresh clothes.

With a deep sigh I get out of the car and slowly make my way to the front door. I throw a glance into the beautiful rose garden. I love that rose garden… I love this house. I always said it's too big to take care of and too expensive but at the end of the day, I always loved coming back here after work because simply; it's beautiful.

Without thinking, I make a few steps into the garden and stop by the first rose I can reach. I touch it carefully, not to hurt the weak blossom. When was the last time that I watered them?

I miss it. And I miss Gabe… I'm not quite sure what it is though. I don't actually miss being physically close to him because we never were one of those couples who can't take their hands off each other.

I guess I miss the knowing that there was somebody who shared a home with me. Somebody who made it possible to always return to this place of security or once again; stability. Simplicity even…

But then again those were reasons why I wasn't happy anymore. Everything had become so normal. Nothing challenged me and Gabe. Nothing left fighting for.

Every sane person would say to me now: 'Are you stupid? Why would you want a challenge? Why can't you just be happy with what you have?'

But I don't mean it like that when I say I need a challenge. What I mean is… I need something that asks so much more of me than feeling save. Something more than feeling just ok. More than feeling comfortable with someone.

I want those feelings to go deeper. I want them to reach my most inner possessions. Want someone to ask all of my emotions, make me feel alive and ready. I want someone to steal my heart…

I shake my head to get rid of those thoughts because that's not why I'm here. I need to get my things and talk to Gabe.

I leave the garden and make my way to the front door. It feels strange to use the bell. I have never used this bell before. But stepping inside without any warning would feel weird, too.

Gabe opens the door a couple seconds later. He wordlessly motions for me to come inside.

"Hi" I say weakly because God this feels weird.

"Hey" He replies just as low and closes the door once I step inside. "Do you want something to drink?" He asks but I can tell by his voice that he's just being friendly. He probably wants me to leave as fast as possible. It hurts a little.

I was hoping so much that we could try and be friends but I guess that was quite naïve of me to think. We're still married. It's too soon.

"No, thanks. I'm not thirsty."

I notice a big suitcase in the middle of the living room. It's open and from where I'm standing, I can see some clothes and beauty products in there.

"I already got some things ready that I knew you'd need. Feel free to go everywhere and take what's yours. I don't know exactly how we can split everything." He mumbles when scratching his forehead.

He looks extremely tired. I can tell that he's wearing this shirt for the third day in a row. It's impossible that he doesn't have any clean clothes left already! I wonder who will teach him how to do the laundry.

"Well… right now I just need some personal stuff. I live with Kurt for the next couple weeks. My room is fully furnished, so I won't need anything else. Maybe we can split some things when I'm looking for my own apartment? I mean basically it's all yours since you paid for everything but… maybe some of the wedding gifts and stuff you need in the kitchen."

"Santana – just because I paid for things doesn't mean that they only belong to me. You used everything all the time when you cooked for me or cleaned the house. We'll just have to take a closer look and see what we need to buy for a second household."

I bite my lip and look up into Gabe's eyes. He shrugs softly. I gather all my courage.

"So you… you wouldn't mind supporting me? I mean financially?" He shakes his head like it's the most normal thing to do.

"That's what you do when you split up, right? It's not like we're Paul McCartney and… what's her name?"

"Heather Mills?" I chuckle and Gabe grins tiredly.

"Yeah… you can count on me, okay? It's going to work out somehow. Right now you just keep using the access to our bank account if you buy food or need anything else."

I nod. I'm so thankful but I have no idea how to show. With an aching lump in my throat, I make my way through the living room.

"Okay… thanks Gabe." I don't know what else to say. I simply don't know so I approach the bathroom to go see if there are some things he forgot. Once I'm in there, I close the door behind me and try to hold back the crying fit that wants to come over me. I didn't know I could feel so lost. I bury my face in one hand and hold on to the sink with the other so I won't collapse on the floor.

/

I grip the steering wheel so desperately tight because my fingers would be trembling otherwise. When Gabe and I said goodbye twenty minutes ago, there was a tear in his eye. When he opened the door for me, he pulled me into a hug.

It was a tight hug but he let go two seconds later. Without another word I walked away. Only now I'm starting to breathe again.

This sucks… I wish we were already much further in the process but I can't do anything other than accepting the fact that break-ups… suck.

But I'm okay now. I can totally handle the lump in my throat, seeing Gabe's sad face in front of my inner eye, the memory of my disappointed father, the picture of my mother crying, the imagination of Gabe's parents flipping out, the tight feeling in my chest, the sorrows I still have, the fear of not knowing about my future…

I can handle the demolition of a marriage.

I can handle missing Brittany when there is already so much other stuff to worry about…

Confusion fills me and I think I could cry a lake when I realize I just parked my car in front of the Sylvester building. Again.

I must have been so filled up with all those thoughts and worries that I didn't even know where I was driving. Instead of heading back to Kurt's place after picking up my stuff, I came back to work.

"Damned!" I yell into the silence of my car and hit the steering wheel. "Damned, damned, damned! What's my fucking problem?"

I don't care that there is no one who can answer me. All I know is that tears are streaming down my cheeks as the frustration takes over me. I keep hitting things around me, including my thighs until a knock on my window almost gives me a heart attack.

At first I can't make out who is standing outside of my car because my vision is so blurry.

"Santana?"

It's Quinn. When I realize that she must have seen me basically throwing a tantrum, I try to wipe the tears but it's too late.

"Santana what's wrong? Open the door." Her voice is muffled because the window is up. I pretend to not have heard her. How can I possibly explain this? I don't want people to think that I can't handle this because it's me who started everything. It was me who said I don't want kids. It was me who left Gabe's and my house.

It was me who begged Brittany not to stop when she was about to touch me for the first time and it was me who developed feelings for her although there is no room for her in my crippled life!

I fumble on the keys and try to start the engine because Quinn won't understand… she probably hopes that Gabe and I will still end up together. She doesn't know how wonderful and wanted Brittany has made me feel in the past couple weeks. She couldn't understand…

"Santana!" Suddenly Quinn's voice sounds very clear and strong. Apparently she has opened the door as soon as I managed to turn on the engine. "Turn it off!"

I do as she says and hide my face in my hands because I'm so embarrassed. I'm crying like a toddler. Now I'll have to explain to Quinn. She's not going to let me go like this.

"Why are you crying?" I hear the confusion, compassion and surprise in her voice. I slowly shake my head, still not showing her my face. "Santana get out of the car – what the hell is going on? Did you hit someone with your car again?"

A trembling sob escapes my lip at the irony of that. Quinn apologizes by kneeling down next to me and grabbing my wrists.

"Santana, look at me…" She carefully but determinedly tugs at my wrists. Eventually I give in. "Jesus" She exhales and grips my shoulder. "What happened, honey? Please say something."

She sounds so desperate that I finally force myself to look into her eyes. I shrug desperately and point to my ring finger that is no longer wearing a wedding ring.

"It's Gabe" I whisper with tears, then cup the place where my heart aches to emphasize. "And Brittany…"

The confusion is written over Quinn's face. She slowly shakes her head.

"Brittany? I don't understand… are you saying that she and Gabe are having an affair?"

"Oh no" I cry and swallow the tears that run down my cheeks. "No…"

Quinn's hand takes mine into hers. She squeezes it warmly.

"Santana you obviously can't drive now. Why are you still here anyways? You left our office over an hour ago. Have you been sitting here all the time?"

I shake my head when Quinn gently pulls me out of the car.

"Come on… the cafeteria is still open. We can sit inside and I'll buy you a cup of coffee. Then you're going to tell me what happened."

It's not like I know something to object. I let her take the keys out of my hand and lock the car. She puts an arm around my shoulders and guides me back inside the building.

/

I know Quinn is staring at me, dying to know what I'm about to say next. We've been sitting at one of the lunch tables for the past twenty minutes, a steaming cup of coffee in both our hands and Quinn hanging on every word I say.

I just told her about my encounter with Gabe, how my parents reacted to the news, how lost I've been feeling… and that I spent the whole last weekend with Brittany. Quinn then asked why Brittany and I are suddenly such close friends. She's still waiting for me to explain.

"We're… we're not really what you'd call 'friends' I guess." I mumble. The pace of my heartbeat picks up. Am I going to tell her about me and Brittany? Is this a good idea? It'll eat me up from the inside if I don't tell anyone.

"What do you mean? That you still don't like each other? Then why would you stay at her place?"

"No it's… It's the other way round. I dolike her." I close my eyes for a second and then glance up into Quinn's. "I like her a lot."

Quinn narrows her eyes.

"Still not getting it." She mumbles and causes me to sigh deeply.

"We slept together. But it's not just that – when I'm with her, I finally know-"

"WHAT?" Quinn's mouth is hanging open. She blinks at me several times. "You did what?!"

The panic walls up inside me like a rollercoaster about to drop fifty feet.

"I know this probably doesn't make sense right now. I can't blame you for not understanding but…" The heat is wandering over my cheeks as it's getting harder to breathe.

"Oh I understand you." Quinn states and still stares at me in shock. "You just said that you slept with Brittany."

"Yes… Look, I don't know what it means, either. Somehow we've had this connection ever since we met-"

"Uh may I remind you that Brittany almost murdered you with her death glares for days after you hit her with her car?" Quinn asks in disbelief. I can't help but chuckle at that because it's true.

"I know but then things happened. We kissed… and my heart began to jump again. I've never felt this way, Quinn. I don't know what's happening to me."

"You're moving like a freight train, that's what's happening to you. What were you thinking?" She replies and stares at me with a blank expression.

"Quinn..." I cup my hot cheeks with my hands. "I have no idea."

For the next five minutes we're just sitting in front of each other, sipping coffee or staring into space. At least Quinn isn't yelling anymore. I half expected her to jump at me and trying to strangle me or something.

"So… but everything you said about you and Gabe not being happy for quite a while – you didn't make that up because of Brittany, right?" Quinn asks eventually.

"No - of course not. I also would have been unhappy with my marriage if Brittany hadn't showed up in my life. It was really just a matter of time that Gabe and I would have addressed the topic. Brittany is a part of the puzzle. I can't deny that she's also one of the reasons why I don't want to go back – ever."

Quinn studies my face for a long while and eventually nods softly. There is something like compassion in her eyes.

"I see. But the one thing I still don't understand is how come you're attracted to Brittany? I mean… she's a woman. I always thought Gabe was your first and only relationship?"

"That's true. I once had a fling with one of my girlfriends at high school though. I thought that was a phase thing. Then I met Gabe. It didn't matter anymore."

"Does that mean you're bi?"

I support my head in the palm of my hand.

"I don't care to be honest... I just know that I can't stop thinking about Brittany and that I'm not attracted to anyone else."

Quinn pulls a face and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"Are you saying you're not attracted to me? I mean Brittany's blonde, I'm blonde… we both have boobs, so…"

We burst into laughter when I realize Quinn is messing with me and boy it feels good to joke about it. The whole sexuality thing – I haven't even had time to think about it. Maybe I'll never know what I am. Maybe it doesn't matter at all. I'll go with the flow… without worrying about which label suits me best.

I'm just me – maybe it's okay.

/

The next Monday… Brittany…

This stupid computer program! Why did she volunteer to help out a colleague with this stupid task? She's got enough on her own desk.

"I need a break." She mumbles to no one but herself and gets up from her chair. Screw the guy who begged her for help with this layout stuff. He'll have to take care of it himself.

With quick steps she leaves her office and hurries towards the stairs to get to the cafeteria but she slows down midway when she approaches Santana's office.

She smiles inwardly – and probably outside, too when she thinks of the interactions they've shared since Santana came over to make Sushi.

They laid on Brittany's couch for hours… at one point Santana even fell asleep on top of her and they listened to each other's heartbeats, knowing that they didn't need words to describe their situation. It was good.

When they said goodbye at Brittany's door it was already after midnight and Brittany leaned in for a kiss on the cheek. Santana slowly shook her head and pulled Brittany closer for a kiss on the lips.

"A goodnight kiss…" She had whispered. Brittany's heart was beating out of her chest because she realized that she loved goodnight kisses.

Then on Saturday they messaged during the day and Santana confessed that she had told Quinn about them. Brittany wasn't mad about it. Actually she was glad that Santana had found someone to talk to. Maybe it might help Santana find out what she wants?

Not that she's trying to pressure Santana. She can wait. If there is a chance… she will wait.

Maybe she could ask Santana if she's up for a cup of coffee, too? She lifts her fist to knock on the door to Santana's and Quinn's office when she sees that the door is left ajar. With a smirk she wants to push it open and see if the brunette is inside but stops when she hears her own name mentioned.

"So have you seen Brittany on the weekend?" She hears Quinn's challenging voice. They're talking about her? Amused she ponders whether she should stay and listen to what the two friends have to say or if she should just leave because it's not very polite to eavesdrop.

She already wants to step away from the door but holds still when she hears Santana's voice.

"No, we just texted… but that's ok, I don't want to be all clingy already, you know?"

Quinn chuckles. Brittany hears the noise of someone typing something on the keypad of their computer.

"Already? What do you by 'already' Santana? Are you saying you could imagine it eventually?"

"Imagine what?"

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Could you imagine something serious with her?"

Brittany holds her breath because this is definitely not meant for her ears but then again she sort of wants to know what Santana thinks.

"Something serious? You mean like…"

"Like dating, Santana. Could you imagine dating her?"

Brittany's throat is dry. She can hear her own heartbeat. Last chance to get out of here – oh, too late…

"Quinn, don't ask me that!"

"Why not?"

"Because! It's way too soon to think about something like that."

"No, it's not, Santana. She's around now. If you're interested, you should better go for it."

"But I don't even know if that's what she wants. And besides… I'm going through separation. I don't think I'll be ready for a serious relationship any time soon."

Brittany bites her bottom lip and scratches her forehead. Of course… that's nothing new, right?

"But you and Gabe are obviously very over. Why not enjoy and have some fun?"

"Because Brittany is not just some joke to me, ok? I'm not playing with her."

"Well… after what I hear from Rachel, maybe Brittany wouldn't be opposed to that."

Brittany knits her eyebrows together because she doesn't know what Quinn is trying to say. What's going on? Why is Rachel talking to Quinn about her?

"What do you mean?" Sounds Santana's insecure voice. Brittany feels incredibly nervous all of a sudden. She could knock on the door and stop their conversation but she wants to know what Rachel said about her. Rachel – her friend.

"Apparently Brittany has been quite a player in the past… Rachel says she's had so many meaningless hook ups that she lost counting."

Thud – thud – thud… Brittany's heart is hammering against her ribcage.

There is silence inside the office. Brittany swallows thickly. What will Santana think of her now?

Yes, she slept around and yes – it meant nothing to her. She used those girls to have fun and clear her head. But she would have explained it to Santana differently. This is part of her past – it has nothing to do with the presence or the future!

"What are you saying?" Santana asks. Her voice snaps Brittany back to where she's standing in front of the door.

"I'm saying that you can enjoy what the two of you apparently have found in each other, but you should be careful. You might be just another one of her adventures."

Brittany's heart feel like it's getting ripped apart. This is so not what this is! If she didn't feel a painful lump in her throat that makes breathing ridiculously difficult, then she would step into that room and tell Quinn to shut up.

But she can't speak without starting to cry right now, she knows it. Even though she's mad as hell – she's only going to cry if she sees the disappointment in Santana's eyes.

How can Rachel do this to her? And why isn't Santana saying anything? Brittany runs her hands through her hair. With a final headshake she steps away from the door and storms off.

/

Santana's POV… later that day…

Finally I step out of the Sylvester building. The sun tickles my nose when I make my way to the parking lots.

Shelby almost didn't want to let me go and stole my last nerve… this day is really shitty. It's only Monday! I feel like taking a couple days off and go somewhere far away where I don't have to think about all her special wishes or another job to do.

Actually I love working for the Sylvester because other than Shelby, the people are really nice and I learn a lot. But lately it's been nothing but stressful. It's not like work is the only thing keeping my mind busy. I don't know what to think about what Quinn said to me today.

Brittany seems everything but a player… are those things true? That she's just looking for meaningless hookups? That's not what it felt like to me…

"Brittany" I exhale in surprise because just when I was thinking about her, blonde hair catches my attention. I find Brittany standing next to my car.

I smile at her because we haven't seen each other since sushi dinner. It's really good to look at her. What Quinn said about her past is suddenly not so important. Brittany's not smiling back, instead she looks nervous.

"Hi" She says lowly and looks to the ground. She fumbles on the car keys in her hand. When I step closer, she clears her throat.

"Are you ok?" I ask and reach out for her wrist but Brittany ignores my hand, so I drop it.

"Uhm not really, actually. I'm just going be honest because it's eating me up inside. I heard you and Quinn talking in your office today because the door was left ajar and I wanted to ask if you're up for coffee but then I heard my name and… Santana, I can explain."

My lips have parted as I'm trying to process the words that Brittany just said. She heard us? When Quinn told me those things? Like everything?

"Brittany I don't believe what Quinn says-"

"But it's true, ok?"

"Oh"

"Yeah… and even though it's true, Quinn didn't have the right to say it. I mean… that was quite a low move of her."

I raise my eyebrows because technically it was Rachel who made the low move.

"I guess Quinn was just trying to be honest after what she had heard from Rachel." I mumble and bite my tongue because Brittany looks even more bitter than before.

"But it's different if Rachel tells a friend or if that friend tells you. It's not fair!"

I realize that Brittany is boiling with anger inside. It almost seems as if she's mad at me, too.

"Brittany… I guess it wasn't okay for anyone to talk behind your back but they didn't want to do you any harm. Quinn just… she wanted to…"

"Warn you?" She finishes my sentence. Our eyes lock for a painful couple seconds. "Well then, there you go." She shrugs weakly. Before I can say anything else to either defend myself or her or anyone – Brittany turns around and with quick steps she walks away.

/

Miserable… this is the word that describes best how I feel right now. Kurt just asked me over dinner how I'm feeling but if I tell him that I'm miserable, then I'll have to explain and I'm too exhausted to do that.

"Yeah, I'm okay. What about you? We hardly ever talk about you. What's happening in Kurt's life these days?" I ask with a smirk but once he's babbling something, I only manage to pay attention for the first ten seconds.

I can't stop thinking about what happened after work. How Brittany seemed so endlessly angry inside. It reminded me of how we got to know each other. She was angry then. I can't forget how she managed to look vulnerable and lost at the same time. Why did she have to hear what Quinn was telling me? Why do I always forget to see if the door really closes behind me? I could have prevented this from happening.

Why did Brittany walk away? We could have talked about it. Why was she angry at me…

"Santana?" Kurt's voice sounds from far away. I try to remember what he was talking about. Something about a Dave guy that he is currently dating? "If you want to know what is happening in my life, then maybe you should listen instead of daydreaming about whatever or whoever is keeping your mind so busy."

He smiles sweetly at me. I apologize for zoning out.

"Kurt, what were you saying? It won't happen again, I'm sorry." He chuckles and cups my hand.

"Don't worry, it was nothing important. How about dessert?" He gets up from his kitchen chair and steps in front of the fridge. "I think there is some ice cream left."

I want to say that ice cream sounds fabulous but my buzzing phone on the kitchen table distracts me. Especially when I see Brittany's name on the screen.

I grab the phone and quickly open Brittany's message, forgetting about Kurt's ice cream.

- That wasn't the smoothest move of me, either. I'm sorry I walked away. I'm at Puck's bar and he's annoying me – can I invite you for a drink to make it up? *puppy face*

I shake my head at Brittany's text but can't help and chuckle softly. Puppy face…

So she's not mad at me?

"Hey Kurt… have you ever been to Puck's bar? You know, the guy we met when we ran into Brittany a while ago and then we all played pool?"

Kurt reaches me a spoon and places a giant bucket of chocolate ice cream on the kitchen table.

"Oh you mean the Puck O'clock? Yeah Mike and I went there last week to check it out. It's really nice. Why?"

"Brittany just texted me if I want to come for a drink. What do you say? A beer after ice cream?"

Kurt shakes his head quickly and point to his watch.

"I really have get to bed early today. But you should go – it's a great bar. Very easy to hang out and just relax. I'm sure you and Brittany are gonna have fun, right?"

A rush of excitement fills my stomach because I hope so. But I'm still not sure what the happenings of this afternoon mean. What if I learn crazy stories about her past?

So what... I don't think anything that happens between me and Brittany can shock me anymore because we already represent quite a range of 'interesting things' that we went through together.

Fifteen minutes later I have changed into fresh clothes, brushed my hair and teeth and put on my favorite perfume. Am I dressing up for Brittany? Oh well…

The car ride to the "Puck O'clock" is quick because Kurt described perfectly well where I'll find it. Once I step inside, I get welcomed by nice lounge music and warm light that illuminates a bar with stools. There are also small tables with comfortable looking leather seats. Some people are playing pool or darts in the back.

Not many tables are taken tonight and when I let my eyes wander over the counter, I spot Brittany sitting on one of the stools. She's laughing with Puck who is behind the bar.

I bite my lip because I'm nervous now. Slowly I make my way over to them.

Puck is first to see me and he winks at me over Brittany's shoulder. She must have seen his action and when she turns around, a warm smile forms on her lips.

"Hey…" She says softly when checking me from head to toe. I mirror her words and her smile. She's got her hair in a ponytail and it looks ridiculously good. She points to the empty stool next to her. When I take it, Puck leans over the counter.

"What can I get you, Santana?" He asks with a smirk.

"A coke would be great, thanks." I reply. Puck bows ridiculously.

"Gimme ten secs." He says and turns away to get me my drink.

Brittany and I throw a glance at each other. I can tell we're both trying to say something but it really just takes Puck ten seconds until he's back in my face and places a giant glass of coke in front of me.

"There you go, beautiful." He says and earns a glare from Brittany which makes me grin quite hard. "Anyways, I've got customers…" Puck mumbles awkwardly and leaves us alone.

"Did you find it right away?" Brittany asks once he's gone. She throws another look at me. A shyer one this time.

"Oh yeah, was no problem. I love this already. Puck has some taste." I look around and Brittany nods acknowledging.

"He and his partner worked hard for it. It's Puck's whole pride. But also he put so much effort into it because he wants his ex-girlfriend to see he's got himself a steady business. They have a son together but she doesn't want him to be in his life."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise because I didn't know Puck had a child.

"Oh wow that must be hard for him."

"Yeah… it was a nasty break up a couple years ago. That's why they don't talk to each other anymore. Puck would love to see his son but he doesn't really stand a chance. She keeps moving from town to town."

I watch how Puck serves some drinks. I imagine a tiny version of him with the exact same Mohawk.

Something strokes my arm. When I look down I find Brittany's hand on my elbow. I steer my glance up to hers and I melt a little bit when she looks at me the way she does.

"I'm sorry…" She breathes and squeezes bit tighter. "I was really angry this afternoon because I couldn't believe that Rachel went talking behind my back like that. Quinn was obviously just doing what every friend would do. I didn't mean to let it out on you."

"Well… I'm pretty sure I would have reacted the same way. Don't worry, I've already forgotten about it."

Brittany presses her lips together. Then they form into a smile.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah… what Quinn said… I don't care."

I watch how Brittany swallows. She softly shakes her head.

"But what she said doesn't make me look good. I feel like I have to explain to you some things about my past."

"Brittany…" My thumb runs over the back of her hand as she moves a little closer. Our shoulders are touching and I can hear the breath that leaves her lips. "I do want to know more about you. I guess that automatically includes your past and if you also want to know more about mine, I'd be happy to tell you. But it doesn't have to be tonight…"

Somehow her forehead has found my temple. When our heads rest together, I close my eyes for a while.

"You smell good." She whispers. I chuckle when her breath tickles my cheek.

"That's what you said when we were lying on your couch after sushi… it's the same perfume." I mumble and when I open my eyes, I find Brittany looking back at me, our faces still close together.

"You put it on for me?" She grins sheepishly. My wink causes her to laugh softly. "Oh man…" She mutters and slowly shakes her head.

"What?"

"Nothing… I just love that perfume, I guess."

We remain in our flirty position and sip from our drinks every now and then, listening to the chillout music in the background, our fingers playing with each other on my arm.

After what feels like a long time, Brittany pulls away and throws a glance over her shoulder.

"Do you want to dance?" She asks sweetly when she points to the back of the room.

"Dance?" I ask and follow the direction she points.

"Yeah, there's this amazing old-fashioned section in the back with a jukebox and a dance floor for couples to dance." Brittany throws a look at me and tilts her head to the side.

"Couples?" I ask. Brittany closes her eyes in embarrassment.

"Or you know – friends. Or people who just like to dance in general. Or strangers who happen to be in the mood, basically anyone." She corrects herself. I chuckle when she avoids my glance.

"What about those two ladies at the bar who happen to be very attracted to each other?" I whisper. I'm surprised about my own words.

Brittany's eyes widen when she finally looks back at me and grins impishly.

"Oh especially those…" She mumbles and takes my hand into hers once she's gotten up from her chair. "Come on" She says with another tilt of her head. She smirks and tugs at my hand.

I hop down from my stool and let her pull me to the back into this secretive dance area.

She guides me through a saloon door. I make big eyes when I see she was right. There are only two couples slowly dancing to a song that I happen to love.

"You're not being shy, are you?" Brittany teases when I'm still standing by the door and she's softly pulling at my hand.

"I just haven't heard this song in forever. It used to be one of my favorites." Brittany looks up and seems to be listening to the melody.

"What's it called?"

"Songbird… Eva Cassidy's version. It's so beautiful." I say when I finally give in to Brittany's tugging.

"Perfect song then." She speaks softly and pulls me close to her. The hand that is not holding mine finds rest on my lower back. Just like in the movies we start moving to the soft guitar tones and the singer's voice.

I chuckle because this is so utterly cheesy.

"What?" Brittany whispers into my ear and pulls back a little so we can look into each other's eyes. I grin at what I'm about to say because she'll probably think I'm a fool.

"I totally feel like Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner in 'The Bodyguard' right now…" I mumble. Brittany grins funnily, too.

"Is that a good thing or not?" She asks while her eyes wander between mine and my lips.

"It's a good thing. I love that movie." I whisper and let my forehead rest against her cheekbone since she's bit taller than me.

Warm fingers draw small circles on my back. Our hands fit together so perfectly. I really hope Puck's bar doesn't close for at least another three hours...

/

I don't know when we became the last couple standing but when I feel soft lips on my forehead, I open my eyes and see that there are only Brittany and I left on the dance floor.

"We should probably leave soon. It's getting really late." Brittany mumbles unconvinced and kisses my forehead again, then my left cheek.

"Oh… that's too bad. I totally forgot how much I like to dance." I answer when there is another kiss on my right cheek. "How about one more song?"

I can tell there is a pink glow creeping over my cheeks when Brittany kisses them.

"Okay… one more." She agrees. Our eyes lock when a new song starts playing. "And we could totally make that one special."

I knit my eyebrows together but soon know what she's implying when her eyes are glued to my lips quite suspiciously. My breath hitches when Brittany lets go of my hand and she wraps both her arms tightly around my waist. Automatically I fall around her neck. A sigh leaves my lips when her hands roam over my hips.

I close my eyes and three seconds later our lips collide gently for a kiss that I've been craving ever since I stepped into Puck's bar.

I cup her cheek. The skin there is so hot that everything inside me starts racing. My pulse, my heart, the butterflies… they're all trying to be fastest. Our bodies are so incredibly close. I can't believe how well we fit together just by standing in front of each other, slowly swaying to the rhythm of a song.

Her lips are truly the best I've ever kissed. They play so irresistibly with mine until I need to break away for some air. But just for a second…

For the rest of the song (actually it's three more) we keep kissing and holding on to each other's cheeks and hips, desperately because neither wants to let go.

"Santana" Brittany's husky voice sounds right in front of me when our lips eventually part. I'm so drunk with her kisses and touches that she needs to call my name again until I'm fully listening. "Please come back to my place…" She breathes. It causes goosebumps on my skin – everywhere.

I look up and when her eyes are hanging on mine so purely, I simply nod. I try to play down the excitement that pools in my chest and my lower stomach.

"Let's get out of here." I whisper when the last song fades out. Brittany grabs my hand and squeezes it before leading the way…