Does It Ever Rain In LA?

by bobbieyoung

An unexpected encounter between two strangers... slow burn. Re-upload.

7. Part VII

Chapter 23 *Cigarettes*

Two days later… Brittany…

From: corcoran.s/s-magazine

To: berry.r/s-magazine; chang.m/s-magazine; fabray.q/s-magazine; hummel.k/s-magazine; lopez.s/s-magazine; pierce.b/s-magazine

Subject: sensational SIX

Guys and girls – meeting at Sue's office in 20'. She's thrilled (which hardly ever happens) about the work you did in New York and wants to reward you. Make sure you're all there.

Shelby

Brittany can't help but grin widely at Shelby's message. She was wondering when they would hear something from the boss. Sue is not one to be pleased easily but Brittany did have a good feeling when the six of them sat together on the last day in New York and sent all their articles, pictures, interviews and other behind the scenes stuff to Shelby.

She wonders what kind of reward Sue has in mind. Double salary? She wouldn't say no to that. Especially because her time at the Sylvester will be over soon. This freelancing is not really her thing anymore. Always new places to get used to and even though she knows she's good at what she does, she longs for something that gives her more security.

Soon her job will be done and she'll have to look for something new. Or maybe she'll go travelling. This is something she has always wanted to do. Go to New Zealand or visit Norway. Or Brazil… after college she and Diane wanted to go see places like these but then things changed. Now two years later this longing is slowly coming back. The desire to go see places she's only heard of. Just enjoy every day. But now that Santana is in her life she can't just hop on the next plane and fly off to another place far away. She wouldn't want to. Unless…

No, Santana has a good job and a life here. She wouldn't go with her, would she? That's a crazy thought. But it gives her tingles everywhere. She startles when there is a knock on the door.

"Come in!" She leans back in her chair and watches how the door is opened and two brunettes peek inside.

"Britt? You ready for the meeting in Sue's office?" Rachel asks and points to Santana who's standing next to her. "We thought we'd come pick you up."

Brittany smiles at them when her eyes lock with the taller brunette. She doesn't actually know how to behave around Santana now. On Monday they met at the beach and had this heartfelt discussion. She doesn't think she has ever felt as much in her heart as she did that evening. They cried, they laughed, they kissed… and they talked a lot. They said all those things they had avoided before, such as whether they have a chance at being in a relationship.

The thought of Santana being her girlfriend gives her so many butterflies in her stomach. She snaps back to reality when she realizes that Rachel is giving her an annoyed look while Santana gazes back at her all dreamily.

"Britt? Are you high? I said we came here to pick. you. up. Are you ready? Sober?"

"Oh… yeah, sorry. Was lost in thought about uhm… this phone call that I got. Give me a sec." She mumbles, turns to her computer and saves her latest edits before closing them.

When she gets up and crosses the room, her eyes meet Santana's once again. She's tempted to step close to her and pull her in for a hug to say hi. Since Rachel knows about them it wouldn't be weird but it would be weird since Brittany doesn't know what she and Santana are. They're not dating. Not secretly, not officially.

Santana isn't ready and of course she accepts that. She told Santana that she will wait for her and she meant it with every fiber of her being. She can't wait to wait for her.

Still it feels weird to stand in front of her not knowing what she's allowed to do. Can she throw loving glances at her? Hold her when she longs to be close to her?

"I wonder what Shelby means when she says that Sue wants to reward us. Like give us a new car or something?" Rachel mumbles when the three of them step out of Brittany's office.

"A car? I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself there, Berry." Santana states.

"Why? We did a wonderful job in New York and Sue sure would be able to afford it."

"Yeah. But giving us cars would be just… wrong." Brittany counters and stops when they arrive in front of Sue's office where Mike, Kurt and Quinn are already waiting.

"Hey girls" Mike greets them and tilts his head towards the office door. "You ready for some compliments?" He knocks on the door when the rest of the group nods with excitement.

One after the other steps inside after they hear Sue's voice yelling "It's open you idiots!" Brittany holds the door open when Santana is the last one to get inside and their shoulders bump into each other.

"Sorry. You ok?" The brunette mumbles and glances at her shortly. Brittany would chuckle at that question because she really didn't hurt her shoulder but when she catches Santana's dark eyes, she knows that the question has a much deeper meaning.

She wants to assure Santana that things between them are alright but nothing comes out of her mouth. On one hand because they are now standing in front of Sue Sylvester's desk and on the other because she doesn't know for sure if things are alright. She really hopes they are but Santana is the one who needs to say how things will continue from now on. If Santana tells her they can't hang out anymore, she won't ask her to. If she tells her not to call her, she won't call her. If she tells her no more kisses, she won't… no, she can't promise that. Because Santana's kisses are too amazing.

"Ladies and Chang" Sue greets them. When Brittany throws a glance at Kurt, she can see he's offended. "When Shelby told me that she won't be able to go to New York and send an intern instead, I thought she was out of her mind."

Shelby who's standing next to Sue's desk rolls her eyes but Sue raises her hands in defense.

"But when she told me she sent a whole freakin' army of her very best interns I had hope that things might turn out well."

At the mention of 'her very best interns' Brittany nudges Santana's arm, who's still positioned close to her. The brunette smiles at her from the side and bites on her lip bashfully.

"Anyway I read your articles and went through all the material you sent to me. It's very good. You did an outstanding job. If you check your bank account tomorrow, you will understand what I mean by outstanding."

Brittany can't hide her grin when Sue shrugs with a smirk on her lips.

"That will be all. I don't want you to think you're something special just because you did one good job, so go back to work – right now."

The six of them hurry to get out of Sue's office and when they're standing in the hallway, they all high five each other. Brittany feels like she's having a déjà-vu. Not too long ago the six of them were celebrating the fact that they got ordered to go to New York and now it's them celebrating the result of it. It'll be hard to say goodbye to these people once she leaves the Sylvester magazine. Four new friends is a lot for her. Four friends and one of them being so much more. How does she deserve this again?

"Guys this needs to be celebrated." Kurt states when they all head back towards their offices. "How about we meet at the Puck O'Clock tonight? Drinks on me because I hear my bank account just got pimped. Who's in? Brittany?"

"Oh yeah, sure. I'd love to."

Brittany watches how Quinn, Mike and Rachel also agree immediately and then her eyes land on Santana who's fumbling on the sleeve of her blouse.

"What about you, San? You sure look like you could use a drink. Are you alright?" Kurt tries. The brunette scratches her forehead.

"I'm ok. But uh… I'm not sure I feel like going out. Bit tired."

Brittany swallows when she tries to make eye contact with Santana but it gets denied.

"Ok, let us know if you change your mind. It'd be great to celebrate with you, too but if you're tired we'll just have a drink with you some other time." Kurt mumbles and his scrutinizing glance wanders back and forth between Santana and Brittany.

Brittany puts on a smile when they all say goodbye. She watches how Santana walks off together with Quinn, her eyes steered to the floor.

"Britt? Is everything ok between you and Santana?" Rachel's soft voice sounds from next to her. Brittany sighs when she puts an arm around the shorter woman's shoulders.

"Oh Rach… I really hope so. But I promised I'll give her time to figure out whatever she needs to figure out. Now I already feel like she's drifting away from me. It's like I can't even breathe properly when I see her being sad. I don't think I'll be able to sleep when I don't know whether she's feeling ok or not. Am I being silly?"

Rachel shakes her head and squeezes Brittany's waist when they descend the stairs.

"No you're not being silly. You're falling in love."

Brittany closes her eyes for a second… that's right…

She's falling in love.

---

The same night… Santana's POV…

What am I doing here? It's 7.30 and I'm lying in bed? Wearing my pajamas? First of all, I hate pajamas – I don't know why I'm wearing them. I was all distracted when I got changed for bed because I keep thinking about my life and what is happening. It started the minute Kurt left the apartment and ever since I haven't been able to think about anything else. Brittany… my parents… the divorce… Gabe… Brittany… dating a woman… divorce lawyer… Brittany… food… lesbians… pajamas…

Why didn't I go with Kurt? My friends would have distracted me from all these thoughts that are driving me mad. What if Gabe doesn't want to sign the divorce papers because he still hopes for a reunion? What if he'll never speak a word to me ever again because he hates me now? What if my parents will be so disappointed when I tell them that I love another woman and we might never be able to give them grandbabies?

I know there are possibilities for gay couples. But what if things are not meant to work out? I'm doing it again! Thinking and worrying and being all pessimistic. I can't sleep like this. That's why I kick the blankets off me and get up while stripping out of my dumb pajamas.

What I need is a drink and listening to Kurt and Quinn babbling about fashion. I need to watch how Puck tries to beat Brittany at playing pool… how she throws stolen glances at me. I need to be close to her although it won't make things easier. It'll make them harder probably. But I just need to be close to her.

Thirty minutes later I step into the Puck O'Clock. I'm surprised there aren't many people here. Actually there are just two people sitting at the bar and then there are my five friends plus Puck (is he my friend now, too?) standing around a pool table in the back. I smile when I step closer and get to see Quinn hanging over the table acting all professional. She's got her tongue between her lips and her eyes narrowed while Rachel cheers her on and Mike cheers for Puck.

Brittany has her hand on Kurt's shoulder and laughs when Quinn scores a ball. There is a cue in Brittany's other hand and I'm pretty sure she won the past couple games without too much effort.

"Santana! You came!" Kurt exclaims and steps away from Brittany to pull me into a warm embrace. "Glad you changed your mind." He mumbles into my ear and boops my nose when he pulls away. He's the sweetest… I'm so glad I talked to him about everything.

"Thanks, Kurt. I'm glad, too. Couldn't sleep at all."

"You were trying to sleep? At 8pm? Baby girl it's time for you to have your first shot of the night." Kurt laughs and hands me a shot from a tray that they must have ordered all together.

"Everyone! The sensational SIX plus Puck are now complete! Let's have our second round of the night!" I'm pretty sure this isn't Kurt's second round when I notice the slurring in his voice so I wrap my arm around his waist to make sure he won't topple over when he leans back to swallow his shot.

"Sensational six foreveeeeer!" Rachel yells and grabs two glasses, handing one to Brittany. Once everyone is armed with a shot Puck babbles something about loving his four new friends and that this toast is dedicated to us. I chuckle when I guide the glass to my lips. Just when I swallow the burning liquid, my eyes lock with Brittany's.

There's a table standing between us and we're both holding on to other people but for a minute it feels like it's just Brittany and me in this bar. Her blue eyes pierce into mine and she tells me so much with that one glance. I don't even know what she's saying. I just know it's a lot. I snap back when Kurt presses his wet lips to my cheek and points to the little dancing area in the back.

"I think you and I should dance, Ms. Santana. Because you look smokin' hot." He grins and grabs my hand. "Everyone who feels like some shakin' – follow me!"

I press my lips together when Kurt kisses my hand and pulls me towards the dance floor, being surprisingly stable on his feet.

Turns out he's still a great dancer no matter how many shots are circulating in his blood. Kurt's got moves and for a few minutes they make me forget all the heavy thoughts in my mind. We just dance to this great song and while Kurt guides me successfully, I keep checking if Brittany is coming, too.

Quinn and Mike are dancing right next to us. It's funny how they get lost in their own world and make out like teenagers. Rachel and Puck are moving to the beat of the song in a corner of the dance floor with only their hands touching between their bodies. It looks like they keep throwing intimate glances at each other. Puck and Berry? Purry? Brittany said something about those two having a thing going on. Where the hell is Brittany? Everyone else is here too.

After another minute of watching some heavy groping going on between Mike and Quinn, I let Kurt know that I need a break. He bows and thanks me for the dance before trailing off and moving to the music on his own. When I leave the dance floor I wipe some sweat off my forehead and wonder how come I'm sweating this much after just a few minutes of dancing.

Brittany is nowhere to be seen. Maybe she went home… maybe she doesn't want to be around me anymore now that I said I'm not ready. I'd understand.

But when we shared that intense eye contact I thought she was thinking what I was thinking. I literally felt the burning of her hot skin against mine when it was actually Kurt holding me in his arm. I thought I saw a sparkle in her eye when she drank that shot and stared at me. I thought she wanted me in that moment. And always…

I step towards the exit as the air is getting incredibly sticky in here. Maybe it's the air… maybe it's the quick beating of my heart when thinking about Brittany leaving without saying goodbye. That's not what I wanted when we talked on the beach. I wanted her to understand that I do want to be with her and that it's just bad timing. But is it really bad timing? Can it be bad timing when you want someone this much?

Wow I realize the alcohol sure has its effect when I almost walk into a bar stool. Fresh air is what I need. I don't bother grabbing my jacket and just make my way across the bar to step outside. The security guy eyes me weirdly but I don't give a damn.

Only when I reach a quiet corner outside and the fresh air tickles my damp hair, I begin to breathe again. I lean against the cold wall and close my eyes for a second.

"Hey"

"Shit!" I curse and almost sink to the floor at the wobbly feeling in my legs, as well as the almost heart attack when I realize somebody is standing just a few feet away from me in the dark.

"Damn Brittany" I mutter and press my hand to my chest to calm it down. I absolutely had no idea she was out here and had chosen the same spot to hide. Maybe hide from me?

"Sorry" She says softly when she takes a step towards me. That's when I see she's holding a cigarette in her hand and her eyes seem darker than usual.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask when we're standing in front of each other. She takes a drag of her ciggy. "And since when do you smoke?"

The second question comes out a little harsh.

"Needed some fresh air."

"That's what you get by lighting a cigarette?"

"No… but I felt a craving. I haven't smoked in forever but tonight I needed one."

"Why?"

"Because I had to still at least one of my cravings."

I can't see all of her face as it's really freaking dark out here but the orange glow keeps wandering up to her lips and gets followed by a cloud of smoke that fogs my brain and view.

"Can I have a drag?" I'm stunned about my question because I just tried to make her feel bad about smoking. But when she reasons it like this, it actually seems quite appealing. Brittany frowns at first but then smirks when she steps close to me and holds up the cigarette for me to take.

When I reach for it our hands touch. I shudder. Maybe I should have brought my jacket as it's not as warm out here as I thought it would be. When I pull the smoke down to my lungs I manage to suppress a cough and exhale it two seconds later. I take a second drag without breaking eye contact with Brittany.

She's hanging on my eyes and lips while I smoke her cigarette. Her hair looks really nice when it's wavy and natural. Her leather jacket is my favorite. I'm sure I haven't seen all of her jackets yet but this must be my favorite. It shows her great shoulders and her boobs under a tight shirt since it's unzipped.

"You know" She begins and gazes at my mouth as well as the smoke that floats between us.

I'm not sure what she's about to say. I have no idea. The thing is; I don't want to know. I want to taste her mouth that is so much better than this crappy cigarette.

That's why I throw it away and take a step towards Brittany. I can hear her breath hitch when she realizes the closeness of our faces. The tiny distance between our lips. This is so not what people call taking time to think. Time to figure out what they want. Time apart to find yourself.

We kissed on Monday evening, deciding it would be better to take things slow from now on. It's Wednesday and the longing is killing me. This is killing me.

I grab her face and before I know it our mouths collide for a desperate kiss. Desperate and heated. Lost and sexy… Her arms wrap around my waist and she nearly lifts me up. Actually I think my feet are hovering above the ground when she pulls me into her so desperately. Our mouths taste like cigarettes and vodka but I love it. I adore it. Because more than that I can taste Brittany's longing that is just as strong as mine. It's aggressive and tender at the same time. Is that possible? Who cares, all I want is to kiss her. I don't think I've ever wanted anything else.

My hands wander through her hair. I am at such a lack of oxygen but I still ask for access to her mouth when I play with her upper lip. A moment later our tongues are battling between our lips and I happily let her win by pushing me back against the wall.

I gasp when she presses her weight into me and a thigh finds space between mine. She starts rocking against me immediately and I'm shocked. I wasn't expecting this but she makes my gasps turn into moans after seconds. She pulls away from my lips and starts sucking on my neck which pushes me higher within heartbeats. I grab her shoulders when I realize what's happening. We're so hungry for each other that I could literally explode.

Her body pushes into me while her hands grab my sides. They wander up and up and eventually cup my breasts. I sigh into the crook of her neck at everything she makes me feel. I'm so turned on at the fact of doing it right here, right now without having really talked first. It's so raw… so unexpected but wonderful. I begin to see stars when her hot breath keeps hitting my jaw and her lips kiss my face and neck so sloppily.

She pants heavily and with every move that causes friction between our lower bodies, a moan escapes both our mouths. It's a fast ride and I can't believe how fast it is. It's all Brittany who makes me feel like this, who makes this possible. I don't think anybody else could make me feel so excited without even trying too hard. But Brittany's doing it so well. The way she guides a hand down my body, how I can feel it against me, cupping me, between my legs, between us.

The spot between my legs is literally burning. The pressure of her hand, teasing and releasing at the same time. We're kissing so desperately because I need her. All of her. Right at this second and for so much longer.

When I'm only seconds away from falling apart in her arms I cover her hand that is still cupping my chest. Our fingers entwine for a desperate grip.

"Babe" I gasp and sound so shaky when she keeps rocking against me with such skilled moves. Our lips meet for one last kiss and then she pulls away to press her forehead rest against my temple. Her mouth opens. She moans and squeezes my hand in hers when she topples over the edge but keeps pushing against me so I fall apart five seconds later.

My orgasm lasts for several seconds as Brittany's hand between my legs keeps pushing gently against me. We're clutching at each other's bodies and it's a miracle we're still standing. I'm pretty sure Brittany's the one keeping us up as my legs feel like bubble gum.

I sense her breath on my cheek and shortly after soft kisses of her trembling lips on mine. We start kissing properly and my free hand roams all over her back and shoulder blades. Her skin feels hot through the material of her top. She must be melting under that leather jacket.

Eventually our bodies still and Brittany's head drops to my shoulder where she stays for a minute to catch her breath. I need to catch my breath, too as I'm panting like crazy. All because of what she does to me.

"I interrupted you." I try to say eventually but my throat feels so dry that I'm not sure Brittany understood. I can't help but laugh at us fools. "You were about to say something."

She brings herself back up to eye level with me. She shrugs softly.

"I forgot" She mumbles and we chuckle at the raspy tone of her voice. "I think I wanted to ask if we can still go for drinks even though we decided to take things really slow. But you sort of distracted me."

"Right… sorry"

"Don't be. This was much better."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Don't you think?"

"I do. Never done anything like this in public."

"I love being your firsts."

My lips pull up into a smile when she nudges my nose and kisses me softly.

"Me, too" I whisper and let my head rest against the cold wall.

"Still… this was probably not a very clever idea, huh? I thought we would turn it down a little until we have things figured out."

We manage to pull our bodies off each other and eventually she takes a step back. She looks weak, exhausted, but her eyes are wide awake.

"I know. But I don't think I can stay away from you." I admit. "I'm sorry for messing with your feelings by playing push and pull. This is not what I intended, you have to know that."

"I know"

"Good. Still I'm doing it. Making you stay away and then pulling you in real close. I'm sorry." I get lost in her eyes when she listens to me. "I'm sorry for making you go through those ups and downs with me. But you are all of my ups… because I love you." My chest feels so full when I say those words while looking at her. "It's the truth… I love you."

Brittany hangs on every syllable I say and nods hardly noticeable. She steps close to me once more to peck my lips and then my nose.

"I'm yours, Santana." She whispers with her lips ghosting over mine. "I know we said things are too crazy to be in a relationship right now but if we can't stay away from each other then maybe we just shouldn't."

"As in… we should go for it? Are we gonna give it a try?"

She smiles softly and kisses me once more.

"Only if you want to…"

Butterflies fly rollercoasters in my stomach. Courage and an energy fill me up that I didn't know had been hiding somewhere inside me. Boundless.

"Can you handle the fact that I still have to go through divorce? It might be difficult at times."

"I'll help you or let you do it on your own if you want to. We don't have to rub it in your husband's face. And we don't have to tell your parents right away. But we can know that you and I belong together. And whatever may come, you know… stuff in our future - we'll find a way together."

I blink at Brittany several times. The determination in her voice, in her face but also the amount of happiness that she makes me feel overwhelms me.

"I want it." I whisper while caressing her cheek with my thumb. I want everything she just said.

"Really?" She asks. She looks at me deeply.

I suck on my bottom lip to hold back a squeal.

"Yes" I confirm and take a breath. "You and me… that's it."

Brittany exhales a soft laugh and lets her hands wander down until they land on my hips.

"I'm really glad you needed some fresh air and decided to come out here." She mutters and grins. "Crazy lady…"

I laugh at her words and the way she gazes at my lips.

Yeah… I'm really glad, too.

---

Chapter 24 *Stones*

A couple days later… Brittany…

She wakes up with a weird feeling in her stomach. When she went to bed last night she managed not to think of it too much but today there is no way around it. It's the day… and she needs to face it.

For the past three months she always referred to it as 'almost two years'. Whenever Puck or Rachel mentioned something they said 'because it's been almost two years'. That didn't sound so frightening. It sounded undefined. But today it's been exactly two years and the thought scares her. With heavy steps she walks from her bedroom to the living room and throws a glance at the watch in her kitchen. It's ten past nine. Time to get ready and meet Linda and Veronica.

When Linda called her yesterday, they both didn't know what to say. They had been emailing ever since they met at the café and Brittany has been looking forward to meeting her again but yesterday it was so weird… They talked on the phone to discuss what was going to happen on Friday which is today. Today is the second anniversary of Diane's death.

Linda asked if Brittany wanted to come see her family and have lunch with all of them together, including cousins and aunts and uncles. She thanked Linda for the offer but it was definitely not going to happen. She never even met most of Diane's relatives. She knows Veronica, Di's mother, Linda and one uncle with whom they are very close to. But she didn't get to know Diane's father because her parents were separated and so half of the family are strangers to Brittany.

Linda then suggested that just the three of them could meet for coffee before the big lunch and it would give Brittany the opportunity to say to Veronica all the things she couldn't say two years ago.

With a very sick feeling in her stomach Brittany agreed because she owed it to Veronica. She had always been so sweet and welcoming when Brittany and Diane dated. Brittany loved her like a mother and that's why she said yes to a meeting after such a long time.

Last night she had a very hard time falling asleep. Se almost called Santana at two in the morning but then she let it be. This is something she needs to do on her own. She'll call Santana afterwards…

Absentmindedly she changes into some decent clothes and eats half of an apple before she's ready to go. If Veronica will listen to her today then this is already more than she can ask for after shutting them out. It wasn't very hard to regain Linda's trust but Diane's mother? That's a whole other level.

With a deep breath she grabs her bag and her car key and leaves the apartment.

---

At the same time in another part of town… Santana's POV…

This must have been one of the most surreal hours in my life.

Gabe called me yesterday evening and asked if I had time today to meet up with a lawyer and discuss the first steps of our divorce. What a creepy feeling. The lawyer told us everything we need to know to make this as agreeable as possible but it will take a moment until everything is taken care of. Then I am no longer officially Mrs. Walker. I'll be Santana Lopez again. Completely.

Well… I never called myself by the last name 'Walker' and I know this is something that Gabe always found a pity and weird. It is weird. It's a nice name but I never got used to it. Never… If I think about it, I feel silly. But this is something I don't need to worry about anymore. Gabe and I just took the next step towards a divorce and we now exit the lawyer's office.

"So uh, I don't know about you but I could really use a beer or something. But it's only 10am. Would it be weird to go for coffee together?" He asks when we walk next to each other on the sidewalk.

"Hm… not really, right? Why not?" I reply and point to a café across the street. He's fine with my choice and five minutes later we're sitting in front of each other at a small table and steaming mugs in our hands. While Gabe puts some sugar into his coffee, I take the time to look at him.

He finally told his parents about our separation. They didn't take it well as we already expected. But today he looks good. Not as exhausted as he usually does and there's something in his face that makes me wonder.

"Did you spend a few days in the sun?" I ask. Gabe frowns. "You look different. Fresher and more relaxed."

"Oh! Yeah I actually took a couple days off to clear my head and everything. I decided to stop working late shifts. Roger and I have hired another doctor as an addition to our team. He's very young and works hard which gives me the opportunity to take it bit easier, you know."

I blink at him a couple times and don't know what to say. Is he serious?

"You… you work less?"

"Yeah I just thought why not hire someone new? It would be great to take things a little less strict and just enjoy my evenings and do something good for myself."

I'm speechless. This is like a slap across the face.

"But you always said that you couldn't afford to work less and that your practice means everything to you. You always said no when I asked you to make more time for us."

Gabe's eyes widen. He straightens his back.

"Santana… this has nothing to do with us. After our break-up I realized that maybe I should change a few things."

"After our break-up? Why did you never consider this before?"

"Because… I don't know. Why are you asking me this now? This is not gonna change anything, is it?"

"No but it still upsets me, Gabe! You never thought of doing this for me and now that we're over you just – you just do it. This totally hurts."

"Ok, look I'm sorry! I see how this seems really unfair. Maybe I would have changed something when we were together if I had known how much I was missing."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask in disbelief.

"Well" He breaks eye contact and stares at his hands. Something he always does when he's about to tell me something I didn't already know. "I uh… there is someone new in my life and I realized that it's worth it to work less and earn less money but to spend more time with another person."

Gabe takes a deep breath and looks at me.

"Santana after we broke up and I became a complete mess, I ran into Aida. I thought she was in Mombasa but apparently she's staying here for a while and uh… we kind of connected on every level and… we're probably going to give it a shot."

I stare at Gabe and can't believe what I'm hearing. The famous doctor Martinez, the one Gabe has always been admiring and adoring ever since we got married.

"You're dating doctor Martinez?"

"Sort of but it's not a sure thing, yet. We're gonna try."

"Oh wow" I exhale and rub my forehead. "Wow this is… I always thought if there was someone you'd have an affair with – it'd be doctor Martinez."

Gabe shakes his head vigorously.

"No, you have to believe me. I never had a thing with her when you and I were together. I swear. Once I told her that we were going to get a divorce, she confessed that she had always liked me a lot and then things kind of just happened. But as I said, it's all still new. I don't know if it'll work out."

We stare at each other for long seconds. I sink back in my chair. Doctor Martinez… why is this only half as surprising as I originally thought?

Honestly though? This really makes sense. Aida Martinez is Gabe's age, she's a doctor, too and she's a traveler just like him. At first I thought this would make me furious. Finding out that Gabe is dating the woman I always thought he had a secret crush on. But now the only thing I can say to that is:

"Oh well…"

Gabe watches how I take a bug sip of my coffee and he must sense that I'm not so heartbroken about the news.

"So, are you ok with this?"

I look at him closely and narrow my eyes. Will he be ok when he finds out about Brittany?

"Yeah… honestly I think this is a good thing. You two make a whole lot more sense together."

Gabe thinks about it and then nods softly.

"I'm sorry" He mumbles but I'm not. I'm not sorry things have turned out this way.

I'm glad Gabe doesn't ask me if there is somebody new in my life because this will probably take a couple more cups of coffee (or very strong liquor) until I will tell him about Brittany. I want to tell him eventually but for now the news about his dating life is enough to talk about and frankly I'm glad when our get-together will come to an end soon.

It's good to see him and see that he's doing well but this is not my life anymore. I want to go home and call Brittany to ask if everything went well with Linda and her mother. I know that it's been exactly two years today and that she must have been very nervous to meet Diane's mother after such a long time. She texted me to let me know what was going on today but I think she wants to do this on her own. I respect that.

Still I can't wait to call her to hear about everything.

Once our cups are empty, Gabe insists on paying for me and we say goodbye in front of the café. A handshake would be ridiculous and a warm hug wouldn't feel quite right, either. So we say goodbye by smiling at each other and he squeezes my shoulder before turning around. I choose the other direction.

It's hours later when Kurt and I do the dishes after a great dinner.

"So now that the divorce is definitely happening, are you planning on looking for an apartment? Not that I want to throw you out because I absolutely love having you as my roommate. My actual roommate is such an idiot. But once he comes back you won't be living with your husband. Do you know what you're going to do?" Kurt asks and takes a soapy plate I hand him.

"Yeah I really want to find my own place soon. Gabe will support me financially for a little bit which I'm really thankful for. I wish I could stay your roommate for a lot longer because it's been so much fun. I'm really thankful you let me stay here, Kurt."

"No problem. It's been my pleasure. Hey do you want to go grab some ice cream later? We could rent a DVD…"

"Sounds great! But no Broadway tonight. Three times in a row is just not good for me." Kurt laughs wholeheartedly and makes some other suggestions until he gets interrupted by the doorbell.

"Who's this?" He asks. I shrug.

"Maybe the ice cream God who heard our conversation?"

"Maybe…"

He drops the towel onto the kitchen table and scoffs across the living room to open the door. I dip the last fork into hot soapy water and start rubbing it when I hear Kurt's voice in surprise.

"Brittany? What are you doing here?"

I stop my actions and turn around to see if it's really her. A wide smile is about to form on my lips when I see her striking blonde hair but then I realize that she has been crying. She looks miserable. I drop the fork and quickly dry my hands on my jeans. With fast steps I make my way to the front door where Kurt is already pulling Brittany inside.

"Goodness what happened to you, sweetie?" He asks and glances at me worriedly. I grab Brittany's wrist and try to make her look at me but she covers her eyes with her other hand.

"I'm so sorry to burst into your apartment, I'm sure you guys were having dinner or something."

"We were just done and even if we weren't, you wouldn't be bothering. What happened, Britt? Did something go wrong with Linda and her mom?" I ask.

Brittany shrugs softly and lets me pull her into the living room where I guide her to Kurt's small couch.

"Do you want something to drink?" Kurt asks. Brittany shakes her head with a weak smile.

"No, thanks. I'm ok, I just… I'm bit rattled I guess."

I sit down next to her and put my hand on her back to make soothing movements but she still looks so sad.

"Were they upset? Why are you crying?" I ask softly because I'm so worried. I haven't seen her cry often and it makes me feel miserable because she's always so strong and confident.

"You know what, maybe I should leave you two alone. I'll call Quinn and ask if she's up for ice cream. You can totally stay over if you want, Brittany."

I smile at Kurt thankfully when he grabs his jacket and heads towards the door. Brittany mumbles a 'thank you' and then Kurt is gone.

She falls into my arms as soon as the door closes and heavy sobs leave her lungs. I hold her close while she cries into my shoulder and grabs my elbow desperately.

"Veronica was so different" She breathes and takes a couple seconds until she continues. "She was so depressed, you know? I mean Linda warned me that her mom has changed over the past two years but I didn't think she would have changed this much. She was nice and polite but her whole being is someone else! Sometimes she just stared into her cup for minutes and when I asked her something she startled and looked at me like I was a stranger. Maybe I am one… I don't know what I was expecting from that meeting but I guess I hoped to finally see her again and hear that she isn't mad at me and now this… she was so distant and hurt. Like a ghost."

Brittany takes a deep breath and wipes off some of her tears.

"She hasn't gotten over Diane's death at all. She looks so miserable. The same way I felt the first couple months after she died. A complete wreck… she's so down and I know exactly that the old Veronica will never come back. All this time I thought she was doing ok. I just assumed she managed somehow. But that's so silly! She lost her daughter! After the talk with Linda I thought I could leave it all behind but it's haunting me… the picture of Diane's mom. The atmosphere. It's like I got pulled back into the past. It's so depressing, I don't know if I can take it."

Her last three words sound so heart breaking that I have to push her away from me so she can look into my eyes.

"Brittany… this is a big part of your life. Diane's family belongs to your past and also to your future because you're still friends with Linda."

"You're right… I'm just sorry that I'm letting it all out on you. You shouldn't have to worry about it. My life is so crazy right now… I hope you can take being in a relationship with me."

I click my tongue at Brittany's silly thoughts and pull her in for a tight hug.

"Of course I can. Besides… My life is even crazier. I mean hello? I'm still married! To a guy!"

Brittany's upper body shakes in my arms but I know this time it's because she's laughing. I chuckle and kiss her neck softly. After a while I lean back and drag Brittany with me until we're lying next to each other on the small couch with our knees bent and our arms wrapped around each other. Her breath hits my collar bone and her fingers play with mine on my stomach.

"I've never even been here before." She mumbles after long minutes in silence. I turn my head to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I've never been here at Kurt's place to see you. You always come to my place."

"Oh… you're right. I guess I don't know if I can just invite people over since this isn't my own apartment."

"Yeah but Kurt invited me to stay over tonight."

"I know. Do you want to?"

"Do you?"

"Of course. You?"

"Yeah… been longing to sleep in your arms ever since last time."

"Which has only been a couple days."

"I know. Too long."

"True"

"Wanna go to bed now?"

"But it's only 7pm, Britt…"

"Oh"

She pushes herself up on her elbow and looks down at me with a smile. The tears are gone and she looks at ease. Actually she looks happy and I'm quite proud to have that effect on her. She leans in and kisses me gently on the lips, cupping my cheek with her hand. I melt at the warm feeling of her mouth on mine and her body pressed against me. This feels so right. Who would have thought six months ago that this would happen to me? Lying in the arms of a beautiful woman and have these deep romantic feeling for her. Who would have thought I'd find everything I had secretly been looking for in a stranger I met in the pouring rain?

"Hey you know what?" She whispers after parting our lips hesitantly. "We never really celebrated what happened that night outside of Puck's bar."

I grin with the feeling of a blush on my cheeks.

"You mean the fact that we did it like bunnies outside in a dark alley?"

Brittany bursts into laughter and hits my shoulder.

"God Santana… way to kill the sweet talk going on." She says and rolls her eyes. "I actually meant the fact that we decided to give it a try."

I bite my lip and look into her eyes deeply.

"I know… you're right, we never celebrated. We should drink on it! But I don't think there's champagne in our fridge. We do have orange juice though. And we'll probably find some kind of alcohol. Would that work?" I suggest. Brittany nods with a smirk.

"Definitely" She pecks my lips and then pushes herself up until she's standing next to the couch. "Come on. It's time to turn this day into a wonderful night. Where's the fridge?"

I point to the kitchen and Brittany laughs.

"Duh… Ms. Lopez, may I guide you there?" She reaches out her hand like a gentlewoman. I can't help but giggle at her behavior.

"It would be my pleasure Ms. Pierce."

"To us but also to you because you're taking this big step called divorce and because you're really… really amazing."

Brittany leans in and pecks my cheek. We're sitting in my bed and there are elegant glasses in our hands filled with what we have mixed together in the kitchen. I raise my glass, too and think of a toast.

"Thanks. To you because you're stronger than I thought anyone could be and because being around you just makes me happy." Our glasses clink together and we take a big sip while looking at each other. Then I go on. "Soo… I really get to call you my girlfriend?" Brittany grins first, then nods convincedly.

"Yeah you really get to call me your girlfriend."

"Even if – I don't know… Chang asks?"

"Even if Chang asks."

"And what about Shelby?"

"Of course"

"And a stranger on the bus?"

"Absolutely"

I grab her hand.

"Score" I mumble before we both lean in for a kiss at the same time.

It's a night full of cuddles, kisses and whispers and I feel like a young girl all over again. We take turns at telling funny stories of our childhood and what started as a very sad day for Brittany ends with her chuckles till late at night.

---

The next morning… Brittany…

She hasn't been to Diane's grave since the funeral because the thought of visiting her dead girlfriend freaked her out and gave her sleepless nights. Really she was just being a coward because now that she's here; it's not scary at all. Who would have thought this day would come where she strolls through the churchyard with a lighter heart and stop in front of the grave with Diane's name on it and a date of birth that makes strangers who are walking by shake their heads affectedly.

But she's here now and she's not alone. She squeezes the warm hand in her own. This is what gave her the courage to show up. Weird how these things come together…

From the corner of her eye she watches how Santana beholds the tombstone and how her dark eyes wander over the silver inscriptions.

"Thanks so much for coming with me. At first I thought it might be weird but you have no idea how much this means to me." Brittany says softly. Santana looks up. The warmth in her eyes makes her feel so comfortable even though minutes ago she was still so nervous.

"Of course. It means a lot to me, too." The brunette whispers and then looks back at the grave in front of them.

It feels like a big weight is being lifted off her shoulders. She wasn't sure if bringing Santana would be a good idea but now she's really glad she did it. For a long time she was like a cold stone inside. Now with Santana she feels something like hot lava melting through those brick walls and it all makes sense again.

Diane wouldn't be mad at her for showing up with another woman. Ok, maybe a bit. Actually she'd be jealous as hell but also she'd be happy for Brittany. That's why she feels endlessly relieved. She sends all her thoughts to Diane, wherever she might be while they are standing there and looking at the silver letters.

And then it's time to go. She loosens her hold on Santana's hand and puts her arm around the slim shoulders instead.

"Didn't you say your grandfather was buried here, as well?" She asks when they make their way back to a small path. Santana nods and points into another direction.

"Yeah, it's right over there. Do you want to see it?" She asks. Brittany's eyes smile warmly.

"Yes"

"Okay. Right this way."

She lets Santana lead the way and pulls her close to press her lips to tanned skin. The kiss on her temple makes Santana smirk softly.

The sun shines with everything she's got while the birds sing for them in the treetops above. It's a good day. She can't wait to spend the rest of it with the person walking next to her.

---

Chapter 25 *Boxes*

Santana's POV…

"Mike… I don't know how to thank you. This is brilliant."

I drop the last box to the floor in front of me and grin exhaustedly at Mike who steps next to me with bags on his shoulders, a lamp in his left and a vase in his right hand. He balances the things across the living room and carefully puts them down on the dinner table. My dinner table.

When Kurt asked me if I will be looking for an own apartment soon, I didn't think it would be this soon. It's not even three weeks later and today I'm moving into my very first and own apartment. My neighbor is Mike which is not only the reason I got this apartment but also it gives me a good feeling. One of my dear friends lives right next door, so if I run out of milk or sugar - it'll be no problem. I don't feel completely alone.

Because if I'm being honest: this freaks me out. I've never lived alone. I've never filled out a check that pays for rent. Never slept in bed alone with no one there. Well, that's not completely true because whenever Gabe went on one of his missions, I was on my own but I knew it would only be for a couple days. Now I'm all by myself – I don't even have a cat or a dog that would bark and warn me if there's a robber.

It was so nice to live with Kurt and hang out with him on the balcony till late at night, gossiping and chatting about pretty much everything. I wish I could have stayed his roommate for another while but when Mike told me that this beautiful apartment was available right next to where he lives, I just had to apply for it as my chances were really good. Mike is close friends with the owner so I got it right away.

And here I am… moving into my first apartment.

"No need to thank me, Santana. I'm happy to help you out. And besides… it's really cool to have you as my neighbor now. Maybe we can hang out sometimes after work and watch movies or something. Quinn is often here, too as you probably know." He grins and when he puts down all the stuff he'd been carrying, I pull him into a hug.

"That would be great. I'm looking forward to living here. Can't believe it's going to be my first night though. I don't think I'm prepared!"

Mike chuckles and bumps my shoulder.

"Don't worry, you're gonna be fine. And if not, you can always go outside, walk five steps to your left and knock on my door."

I give him a warm smile and then offer something to drink which he totally deserves after carrying boxes and bags from Kurt's place to here for the past two hours.

---

Later that day…

It's five in the afternoon when Brittany and I step out of her car. I can't remember the last time I felt this sick. Not because of Brittany's driving skills – they're great. But because we're about to meet my parents. Together. As in introducing her to them. As my girlfriend. Holy crap…

Yesterday I called my mother to let her know that I have found an apartment and that I'm moving in today. I can't say my mom was thrilled when she learned the news. I'm pretty sure she was hoping I'd move back in with Gabe and that we are back to being husband and wife. Because when she asked how things were going with me and Gabe and I told her that we filed for divorce, I heard a sob on the other end of the connection.

"Santana sweetheart, you're only twenty-four… are you sure there is no chance for you and Gabe to get back together? To be divorced at such a young age is simply tragic! The two of you were such a nice couple. I can't believe you're getting divorced, I really can't. What about my hopes for grandchildren?"

I reminded her that she already has a precious grandson that my brother Ricky gave her but apparently it's not the same to see your daughter have babies.

"Do you still want to come see my new apartment? It would mean a lot to me." I had asked shyly and my mother was willing to visit me but not so soon. She needed to ask my dad first and since he still works a lot, it might take a while to find the time.

I know this means my dad is still upset with me for my separation from Gabe. He loves Gabe like a son… I know that he will never be ok with me dating someone else, let alone dating a woman. But I cannot hide my happiness from him just so he'll be comfortable. I can't be with Brittany and not tell my parents. My parents mean a lot to me. I want their blessing and I want them to know who I am and who I love.

I can't expect my dad to welcome Brittany with open arms because I just know it's not going to happen. But I still want them to meet her and to know that she exists and that she's the one I want to bring home for Thanks Giving and for Christmas.

I want my aunts and uncles to meet her and my nephew to play with her. I've never felt this way when I was with Gabe. Sure, I was excited when I presented him to my whole family for the first time because finally it had been my turn to show up with someone special. But bringing home Brittany would mean something that goes so much deeper. I would show my family my true happiness. I'm scared because I'd be vulnerable. Showing them that I have found love in a woman would be such an intimate thing to do but I can't wait. It fills me with so much hope and excitement.

Why should I wait a couple of months to tell them? It'll never be the perfect moment to tell your parents that you're in a same-sex relationship when they have no idea. I've been married to a man. They think I'm straight and that I will marry another man someday. They think I'll have a traditional family like they do.

So why not come out to them now and show them who is making me happier than ever before? That's what I asked Brittany after having that talk with my mom and she said it's up to me. If it feels right – we should do it and tell my parents. I got so excited because I really want them to know and that's why we're here now.

I step next to Brittany on the sidewalk and put my hand on her lower back to guide her to my parents' house. It's a big house with a big front yard and roses everywhere. It's a shame I don't have a garden with my new apartment because I loved spending time in Gabe's and my rose garden. But you get some and you lose some. It's ok.

"You still sure about this? We can always run away before using the door doorbell." Brittany says with a smirk and grabs my hand from behind her back.

"Running away is no option, ok? I really want this, Britt." We stop by the front door and I turn to face her. "I'm so scared" I mumble and only realize now how scared I really am because my chest feels tight and my heart drums.

Maybe my dad will never want to see me again. Maybe my mother will be devastated. Maybe they'll be ok with it? There's hope, right?

"I know" She says softly and pulls my chin up until we're looking into each other's eyes. "It's been many years but when I told my parents that I was gay, I was terrified. I thought my legs were going to literally break when I walked up to them because they felt that weak. I was lucky because my parents were more than ok with it and said they sort of already knew. But I want you to know that if things don't go well tonight – I'll be there. I'll be there for you and try everything to make you feel better. No matter what happens after we step inside, I'm going to be there right next to you, ok? We're together now and that means I'll always be by your side."

I'm close to tears and wrap my arms around her neck to hold her tight. I definitely couldn't do this if she wasn't here. If my parents won't be ok with it, I know Brittany will.

"Ok" I whisper and feel her lips pressing against my neck. It relaxes me instantly and I could stand in front of this door all day as long as she'd hold me in her arms. Eventually I pull back and grab her face with my hands. Our lips meet for a kiss that gives me all the courage I will need tonight. It's soft and warm and a little bit hasty because of where we're standing.

"You ready for this?" I ask determined once our lips part. Brittany nods with slightly reddened cheeks.

"Absolutely"

And with that I raise my hand and press the door doorbell.

"So sweetheart, what is it that brings you here? We were just talking on the phone the other night and you didn't say you'd come for a visit. I would have made you a cake or your favorite dinner or something! You haven't been here in a long time and I wish you would have warned me so I could have prepared a real welcome!"

I chuckle and put a spoon of sugar into my cup of coffee. For the past ten minutes Brittany and I have been sitting opposite from both my parents in their huge living room. So far we've chatted a bit about work and our trip to New York.

"Mama that's ok. It was a spontaneous idea to come here so I thought we'd try without calling first. Coffee is just fine, don't worry." My mom smirks and nods before taking a sip of her coffee.

"But the reason I came here…" I glance to my right and see that Brittany is smiling encouragingly and me. "Is because I want to tell you something. Something that's very important to me."

"I already know about your new apartment, Santana. Your mother told me last night that you and Gabe are over for good. I said that it was ok with me as long as you're happy."

I turn my head to look at my dad because that's not what I expected.

"You're ok with me separating from Gabe? I mean… I know how much you love him."

My dad sighs and leans against the backrest of the couch.

"Yes, I know. Believe me when I say it makes me very sad and honestly I'm a bit disappointed in you. I would have expected from the two of you to fight for your marriage. But apparently it doesn't work like that these days. My parents would have found it a great sin if your mother and I had ever gotten a divorce but today things look different. People get married way too soon and that is why so many divorces are the result. It's not a scandal to get divorced anymore. It's almost like it's in fashion! But I don't get a say in what you and Gabe do, Santana. It's your life and you should do whatever you think is for the best."

My dad takes a drag of his cigar and shrugs. I feel the urge to cough because he's sitting right in front of me and the smoke wanders towards my face. I don't understand why my mother lets him smoke inside the house.

"It's a shame it didn't last longer but I'm not going to stop talking to you just because you got a divorce and moved into a new apartment. I'm not thrilled about it but it's ok."

I swallow when I hear my dad's words. I honestly thought he might disown me as soon as the word 'divorce' got spoken out loud.

"Well… I'm glad to hear that, dad. I want you to know that Gabe and I didn't split up because we hate each other or did horrible things to one another. We still get along very well and he'll stay a part of the family. It just was never enough to stay together forever."

My mother reaches across the table to pat my arm with a sympathetic smile.

"We know, sweetheart and it's alright." When I look at my parents being all relaxed about my divorce, my hopes go up that they will be fine with the idea of Brittany and I.

"So you drove all the way just to make sure we're ok with you living in a new apartment? That wasn't necessary." My dad says and takes another drag.

I clear my throat and shift in my seat. It's now or never. There's no turning back now that Brittany and I are sitting in front of my parents. I need to explain why she's here with me anyway as my mother keeps throwing glances at her and probably wonders why the hell my co-worker is sitting in her living room.

"Actually that's not the only reason I came here or why we came here." I gaze at Brittany and smile nervously before focusing back on my parents. "As I said Brittany and I work together and uh… we've grown very close." I watch how my mother sends a look to my dad. Then her eyes wander over Brittany's face while nodding slowly.

"I asked her to come with me today because what I want to tell you is really important to both of us and it means a lot to me that she gets to know you because… she makes me really happy since… since we've been together."

I reach out to put my hand on top of Brittany's that's been resting on her knee. Her thumb gives me a gentle squeeze. That's when I dare to look up into my parents' faces once more.

Those are what I always imagined to be the faces of two people in utter and complete confusion. My mother's eyes have widened drastically and her mouth hangs open. She's looking back and forth between me and Brittany and our connected hands. There's a question mark hovering above her head that screams 'WHAT?!'

My dad just sits there with his arms crossed in front of his chest and his cigar fuming between his fingers. His mouth is closed and his expression is calm. He doesn't look at Brittany, he only stares at me. As if he's waiting for me to continue and say something that would make my previous statement invalid. I know that look. That's how he looks at people when he thinks they tell bullshit. That's how he looks at them when he thinks he knows everything better or when he thinks they try to make fun of him. He looks at people like that when he looks down on them.

"Brittany is my girlfriend that is why we came here. I wanted to tell you and for you guys to meet each other. At first I thought I'd wait but then I decided there's no reason to wait. I just want to be honest with-"

"You're telling me…" My dad interrupts my babbling with a calm voice. It's calm but it freaks me out. "That you and… Brittany are in a relationship?" He asks. I slowly nod after glancing at Brittany who looks less at ease than before.

"As in homosexuals." My dad adds. I swallow dryly. I don't know what I'm supposed to answer to that. Because the way he just said it, it sounds very opposed.

"Uhm I… I don't really know-" I begin to explain but stop when Brittany's hand squeezes mine. I look at her and she smiles reassuringly.

"Mr. Lopez, if I may. When I met your daughter she was still in a relationship with a man. But I'm gay, yes. I guess it's hard to define how we found together and what it's called that describes what we have but maybe that's not even important."

For a couple seconds nobody says a word. I'm waiting for something to explode or someone to start yelling. But it doesn't happen. My mother keeps staring at us and my dad sits there with the cigar forgotten between his pointer and his middle finger. There's no smile on his face, in fact it seems like his lips are barely there.

"Is this some sort of test?" My father speaks up after a while. I'm taken aback. Test?

"Dad no… no, that's what we came here to tell you. I want you to know what is happening in my life and this is it – Brittany and I, we're together. I understand if this might take a while to fully understand but I didn't want to wait. I didn't want to keep this a secret."

"Santana… I was very understanding when I heard that you and Gabe decided to go separate ways but this – this is making me feel utterly uncomfortable. I don't see how you can just come here without a warning and force me to cooperate." My father states and gets up. He makes a few steps across the living room. I watch him desperately while my mother still sits there and wordlessly observes Brittany.

I push myself into a standing position and walk after my dad.

"Dad! Wait, please. Can you just try and listen to me? Please… don't walk away now-"

"I don't know if I understand what you came here to tell me. This all makes no sense now, so please…" His lips form some words but nothing comes out of his mouth. The bitterness in his expression makes me stare to the floor in embarrassment so I don't stop him when he turns around and leaves the living room.

---

Brittany… the same night…

The devastated look on Santana's face makes her heart ache. She's been holding the brunette in her arms for what feels like hours even though they've only been back for a while. When they reached Santana's new apartment after coming back from her parents' place, Brittany didn't even look around much to inspect the surroundings. She only let Santana guide her to the mattress that'd been placed in the middle of the small living room and sank down next to her.

"Can we just lie down? I need a moment before we can make something for dinner. Is that ok?" Santana had asked and Brittany only nodded.

She knows that Santana just moved in today so she doesn't question the uncomfortable sleeping place and just lies next to the brunette, facing her. Santana's elbow is tucked between her cheek and the mattress and with her free hand she plays with a strand of Brittany's hair.

She watches Santana's actions while her arm lies protectively around the slim waist. Santana hasn't looked this crestfallen ever before. Maybe the night she showed up after the fight with her husband but tonight it's ten times worse.

After Mr. Lopez walked out on them, Santana had been close to tears and let her mother pull her into an embrace. Not that Mrs. Lopez wasn't shocked about their confession – she was shocked. But she handled it way different than Santana's father. She whispered into her daughter's ear that he'd need some time and that things were going to be ok.

Sweet move of Santana's mother… she didn't freak out, she just took the news and hugged Santana to let her know that she was still loved, no matter how surprising this came.

"Do you think he'll still accept me for who I am?" Santana whispers after many minutes of lying there with her eyes closed.

"I don't know your father but I guess if you give him some time, he'll come around. He sounded very concerned about your happiness when it came to your separation from Gabe. We just need to give him time, ok?"

Santana nods weakly and opens her eyes. They still look sad but there is hope, too.

"Ok" She mouths and cups Brittany's cheek with her hand. "I'm really glad you came with me, you know that? Even if it didn't work out so well."

"Hey… I think we can be quite happy about the result. I mean your mom was the bomb. Did you see how she squeezed my arm when saying goodbye at the door?"

"No. She did?"

"Yes. And she smiled at me really sweetly although she seemed so concerned about you. Isn't it great that she was obviously ok with it? She didn't question it at all. That's something, right?"

Santana's lips form into a soft smile.

"You're right. I had a feeling that my mom would be ok with it. She's very traditional though… she almost cried when I told her about my divorce but she's always been a very tolerant person. Maybe she can convince my dad that it's not that bad."

"Yeah. We'll see what happens next but I think you can count on your mom."

She lets her hand wander over Santana's back and grins when she puckers her lips for a kiss. Happily she grants the demand and leans in to close the gap between their mouths.

It's a consoling but also happy kiss because neither pulls away. She'll probably never get used to kissing those lips. They make her feel like she's as light as a feather. Even if they just experienced rejection from Santana's dad.

She still feels so happy and at ease to be lying here with the woman that changed her world upside down – for the better. She's sure that there will be more challenges to face for them in the future but it'll only make them grow closer.

The incident with Santana's father makes her feel so much closer to Santana because what counts is the fact that they are lying in each other's arms and consoling one another. It did hurt a little when Mr. Lopez didn't even look at her when Santana announced that they are together.

But the way those smooth lips move against her own and the way warm fingertips caress her cheeks makes her forget about Mr. Lopez' cruel reaction. It makes her feel all warm and fuzzy inside and she thinks she could stay like this all night. Just hiding there with Santana between all those unpacked boxes. Because what they are creating tonight is their own little safe place. As long as they have each other, any challenge can come their way.

---

Epilogue

*Places*

(That feel like home when I'm with you…)

Brittany…

- No can do, Puck. Promised my lady some sweet lovin' and a romantic eve. Take Rachel out on a date!

With a smirk she presses 'send' and lets the phone sink back into her pocket. Puck just asked her if she's up for some drinks with him and Rachel but not tonight. Tonight she's got other plans.

She searches for the key in her bag and then carefully opens the door to make sure the cat doesn't get a chance to run outside. It almost happened yesterday. It'll take another couple weeks or so until they can let her outside for the first time. As soon as she's closed the door behind her and has dropped her heavy bag on the floor, she hears soft meows.

"Aww did you wait for me to come home?" She says and rolls her eyes at her own funny voice when she kneels down to pick up the tiny cat with a white fur. "How are you doing, kitty? All good? Played and slept all day? You lucky one…"

She chuckles when the cat starts purring immediately and closes her eyes at Brittany's caresses. Newyork is still so tiny and easily fits into her hands.

"Aren't you the cutest kitty in the world? Hey what's this? Was that your tongue licking my thumb? Huh was it? Ugh shut up…" She mumbles because she's really acting silly. But the cat is just too cute.

Carefully she puts it back on the floor and watches out to not step on it when she walks into the living room. She already wants to yell 'babe?' towards their bedroom but stops when she sees her babe sleeping on the couch.

"Aww" She mutters. Cuteness overload.

Again she kneels on the floor but this time in front of the couch to stroke Santana's soft cheek. She wonders for how long Santana has been sleeping on the couch. She probably got off work around five as usual. Shelby must have pushed her to the limits because she looks exhausted even though her eyes are closed.

Maybe she should just let Santana sleep and they will cook something later. Just when she wants to get back on her feet, the brunette stirs and opens her eyes. She startles when she realizes that Brittany is right in front of her.

"Sorry" Brittany whispers but Santana's lips form into a grin.

"I didn't even hear you coming home. How long have you been watching me sleep, creeper?"

Brittany laughs and then climbs over Santana's body to settle down right behind her. She spoons her side and supports herself on her elbow so she can look down at her girlfriend.

"Not long enough. You look really cute when you're sleeping." She leans forward and pecks Santana's lips. "Speaking of cute… somebody's trying to get your attention down there."

Santana follows Brittany's line of sight and looks down to the floor where Newyork is staring up at them.

"Come here" Santana coos and reaches for the small cat. She lifts it up and puts it on her stomach where it slumps down immediately and starts licking itself everywhere. "That's gross, Newyork. You can do that when nobody's watching."

But the cat keeps cleaning herself on top of Santana, oblivious to why she makes the two women laugh.

"So… I bought all the ingredients for your favorite dinner. Do you want to start cooking or are you too tired? We can also head to bed early." Brittany asks and lets her hand rest on Newyork's back.

Santana turns her head to face her and raises an eyebrow.

"Head to bed early? That would be such a pity." She replies and cups Brittany's cheek with her left hand while her right one is playing with the cat's fur. She lifts her head to capture Brittany's lips for an affectionate kiss. "Happy anniversary, babe" She mumbles when their lips part just an inch and a smile forms.

Brittany feels her heart swelling at Santana's words. She can't believe how giddy this makes her.

"Happy anniversary to you, too." She whispers and presses another kiss to Santana's lips. The thought sounds funny in her mind. Has it really been just a year? Already a year? Wow… "I can't believe it's been a year since we talked outside of Puck's bar and decided to give it a go. Can you?"

Santana chuckles and shakes her head.

"Talked? May I remind you that there wasn't much talking going on?"

"True… but it was super hot."

"It was."

"We should totally do it in a public place again."

"We did it in your office once."

Brittany laughs when she remembers that one time Santana sneaked into her office just before lunch and attacked her with hungry kisses. She had come to seduce Brittany for a quickie and ended up on the desk with Brittany's hand inside her pants and begging for release.

"Right. That was really hot, too. But we probably would have lost our jobs if Shelby had walked in on us. We didn't even lock the door. She used to show up in my office at least twice a day."

"How reckless of us… I really miss sneaking into your office to steal some kisses. It's just too bad you don't work at the Sylvester magazine anymore…" Santana says with a pout.

After working for Sue Sylvester and Shelby Corcoran for three and a half months, Brittany declined the offer to stay longer and applied for another job at a smaller magazine which had always been one of her favorites. Santana was a bit disappointed when Brittany decided to leave the Sylvester but soon she realized it wasn't a bad thing. Ever since they've been working at different places, they can't wait to get home after work and cuddle all evening long, telling each other about their day and making up for the hours they spent apart.

Yes it's official; she's madly in love with Santana and has never been happier while sharing an apartment, a bank account and taking care of their new cat which is almost like their child. Almost…

She has arrived at this point where she can say that Santana is her family. She introduced her to her parents and her sisters and brothers and they all fell in love with her immediately. It took a little longer but also Santana's dad came around. After making a scene during their first meeting and not talking to Santana for several weeks, he showed up at her doorstep one evening and asked if they were up for a walk. The three of them made their way to a nearby café and papa Lopez apologized to Brittany and Santana for his behavior with tears in his eyes.

It wasn't what Brittany expected because she thought that Mr. Lopez would never be truly ok with it but it was so sweet to watch father and daughter reunite when Santana got up from her chair and fell around her father's neck. He officially welcomed Brittany to the family and gave her a bone crushing hug when they said goodbye that night. It was the best hug she'd ever received…

---

Florence, Italy…Santana's POV…

"You have no idea where we are, am I right?"

"Sure I know where we are. I just want to check again."

"Let me see, it can't be that hard."

"It's not hard, I just lost track for a minute. Hang on."

"Gimme that-"

"Wait, I want one more try. I'll find it."

"That's what you said five minutes ago and we're still as clueless."

"Because you keep trying to take the map out of my hands and I can't focus on the streets. What street is our motel again?"

"You've been looking for the street without even knowing what it's called?"

"I know what it's called. I just forgot because you keep interrupting me."

"Santana…"

"What?"

"You're holding the map upside down."

"Huh? Oh… I know that! I'm pointing it South."

"…Why?"

"Because I wanted to see something! You know what, just shut up for a minute and let me figure this out. I'm starving." My cheeks are hot because the sun has been burning down on us and because I'm upset. This map of Florence is a freaking zoo! How are you supposed to find something in this maze?

Brittany's still standing behind me and looking over my shoulder. She places her hands on my hips and if I wasn't so annoyed right now, I'd lean into her and enjoy the touch. But this is really getting on my nerves. We've been walking up and down these small streets for at least thirty minutes without knowing where we're going because we somehow managed to take the wrong way. Also I'm sweating under that sun and Brittany's body heat only makes it worse.

"Babe can you not stand so close to me right now? The sweat is literally dripping of my forehead and that's not sexy."

"Ok, sorry…" Brittany steps back and drops her hand from my waist. I thought that would make me feel better but when I turn around and see Brittany's awkward face, I feel terrible.

"No wait, I'm sorry." I grab her wrist and pull her close to me. I wrap my arms around her neck and hide the map behind her shoulder as I am sick and tired of it.

Her lips taste salty when I kiss her. It tells me she's feeling just as hot and sweaty. Actually that is kind of sexy…

"I have no idea where we are" I mumble when I let my forehead rest against hers.

Brittany's chest moves up and down at a slow pace. It calms me down immediately.

"I know. We've only been in Florence for one day, it's normal that we get lost… Wanna try again?"

I nod and pull back. Together we hold the map in front of us. I follow Brittany's finger when she looks for the name of our street.

"There! Viale Raffaello Sanzio. This is where we must go. We walk down this alley and from there it'll be easy to find the way back now that we have found the street. Ok?"

I smile at her and lean in for another kiss which causes her to smile.

"My little genius… I'm really lucky you're such a good travel guide."

"Come on. I'll buy you some delicious Italian ice cream and then I'm sure our brains will start working again."

She takes my hand into hers and I let her lead the way back to our motel where we're going to spend the first night of our trip through Europe.

That night of our anniversary she suggested we should go travelling. I was lying in her arms in our bed after many hours of passionate lovemaking and was already falling asleep when she started talking about wanting to see all those places. I fell in love with the idea of going travelling with her right away and here we are two months later in beautiful Tuscany which is only the first stop of our trip.

---

Zurich, Switzerland…

"Holy crap, there are so many people"

"I don't think I've ever been surrounded by that many people!"

"What?"

"I said there are so many people!"

"That's what I said, too!"

"I can't hear you!"

"Come on, it's too loud here! Take my hand, I don't want to lose you!"

I grab Brittany's hand and try to lead the way to a place where we can talk better. When we arrived in Zurich yesterday and heard that there would be a parade, we pictured something like a couple hundred people marching through the city but this is insane.

Some guy wearing nothing but silver underwear and high heels started talking to us a couple minutes ago because he heard that we were speaking English and introduced himself as Larry from England. He comes here every single year just to be part of the biggest techno festival around the globe. Brittany and I almost couldn't believe that but when he said that there might be up to nine hundred thousand people, I swallowed hard.

Larry also told us that we should check out the gay mobiles because he must have seen me pressing a kiss to Brittany's lips.

That's where we are now. There are several trucks moving at a slow pace with dancing people in the back and audio equipment playing the sickest techno beats. I've never been a fan of techno but surrounded by that many people wearing all those funny and extravagant "clothes" I can't help but go with the flow and move to the beat while walking.

"Look at that one!" Brittany yells and points over my shoulder.

We're both staring at the most colorful truck as there are pretty boys with naked chests dancing in the back and waving pride flags above their heads. Brittany laughs when the truck comes closer and one of the boys points at us and blows a kiss.

The vehicle comes to a halt because there are too many people standing and dancing right in front of it. Brittany uses the opportunity to take one of the rainbow flags that the guys hand out to people walking by. She waves it in the air and I chuckle when I see her glowing face as well as the pride in her eyes.

"Hey beautiful! Come closer!"

I look up to the truck and see that a woman is pointing at me and making a sign to come over. She's got short blonde hair and she's wearing high heels, shorts and a bikini top. Her slender body is painted with body paint and when I look closer, I realize that the bikini top isn't real. It's painted on her body - I can actually see her nipples. They're colored blue but definitely there and I don't know where else to look.

I must be ogling at her because Brittany laughs at me and gives me a gentle push towards the girl who is leaning down, holding a scarf with rainbow colors in her hands. After swallowing emptily, I step right in front of her and observe how she lifts the scarf over my head to put it around my neck. Her face is just inches apart from mine and when she puts a finger under my chin to make me look up, I almost panic.

"Viel Spass" She says. I have no idea what it means because it must be Swiss German but before I can properly think about it, I feel hot lips pressing to the corner of my mouth. I hear her chuckle filling my ear when she pulls away and goes back to dancing with her friends on the truck.

A little dizzy I take a step back and turn around to look for Brittany. She's standing right there, grinning at me with a funny expression.

"I guess I should be jealous – and I am - but can I say that was seriously one of the hottest things I've ever witnessed?" She mutters when her eyes pierce into mine.

I exhale a breath of relief because I just now realize that I sort of got kissed by another woman right in front of Brittany's face.

"It was?" I ask and laugh when Brittany grabs the scarf around my neck to pull me closer. "Well maybe I should go kiss a bunch of girls then and make sure you can see it…" My sultry voice makes Brittany part her lips. I can feel her breath hitting my skin when I wrap my arms around her waist.

"Don't even think about that. Forget what I just said. You're mine." She says determinedly and cups my cheeks with her hands.

"That's right" I agree and close the gap between our lips. "I'm yours" I whisper.

I'm not sure Brittany can hear it because the techno beats are getting louder now that another truck is coming our way but I let her know by kissing her deeply while we're surrounded by all these people.

We earn whistles and cheers and I can't describe the feeling inside my chest. Except that I know I'm proud to be with Brittany and show people I've never seen before that I'm in love with a woman. When we pull apart I let my forehead rest against hers and catch my breath.

"I'm really glad where here." I say and earn a kiss to my cheek.

"Me, too. Wanna go grab something to drink? I'm dehydrated after seeing my girlfriend making out with a hot Swiss chick."

I slap her arm playfully and then put it over my shoulder to make sure we're staying close to each other while wandering through the dancing crowd.

---

Berlin, Germany…

"Can you believe we're looking at a piece of the Berlin Wall? I mean the Wall?"

"It's just a piece of cement, babe."

"It's awesome…"

"Awesome but we've been looking at it for the past fifteen minutes and it's still just concrete. Can we go grab something to eat now? Like a currywurst? I hear they are delicious."

"Santana we're in Berlin. You have to appreciate these historic mediators the city has to offer. One day you wanna tell your kids that you stood in front of a remaining piece of the Wall and impress them. Currywurst is fun, too but if you compare it to the Berlin Wall then… know what I mean?"

I watch how Brittany steps closer to the big piece of wall and narrows her eyes to read some of the words that people sprayed on it years ago.

We bicker at each other all the time and I love it because it's never in a mean way. Sometimes we discuss things for hours and I get to know so many things about her that I had no idea of. Like I didn't know she's such a geek for German history.

But what makes me wonder is what Brittany just said about telling my kids about the Berlin Wall one day. What kids? When? Me? Us?

We've never talked about the kids thing or the future in general. So far we've just lived our lives day by day and enjoyed the time we're spending together. On our first anniversary I wondered what the future might bring us but then forgot about it again. If I'm being honest it's because I'm a little scared of what's to come. Just a little bit…

Because when Gabe and I started dating, he asked me to marry him just a few months later. We're divorced now and hardly speak to each other anymore. I don't want this to happen again.

"Ok, I'm done looking. We can go. I'm really hungry, too. Currywurst?"

I feel Brittany's fingers entangling with mine and I let her drag me away from what is left of the Wall.

"Yeah sure. Uhm Britt? What did you mean when you said this is something I'll tell my kids one day? Like… kids?" My heart does nervous flutters when I look at Brittany. She turns a little red.

"Oh San, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything. Forget about it, ok? It's just something that slipped out."

"Ok but… should we maybe talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"You know..."

We get interrupted when a guy steps close to Brittany and says something in German. He points to his cigarette and says "Fire please!" when he realizes we don't speak his language.

"Sorry, we don't smoke." Brittany says and gives him a smile. The guy walks away and I ponder about whether I should pick up the topic from before or drop it.

"I think I saw a truck where they sell fries and currywurst before we came here. Do we still have enough Euros?" Brittany asks and puts her arm around my shoulder.

Change of subject means we're not gonna talk about it right now.

"Uhm yeah, I have enough. We could go grab some and then go to a park where we can sit down?"

Brittany presses a kiss to my temple and points the direction we need to go.

"Yes. Let's do that."

We've been sitting on a bench in this big park for the past thirty minutes and just chatted about what we've seen of Europe so far and what we expect from the other place still to go.

"I can't wait till our last destination. It'll be so romantic."

"Aww. I hope we find that tower. Can you hand me the bottle of water?"

I reach into my bag and give Brittany the bottle.

"Thanks. Or shall I say: Vielen Dank, gnädiger Herr" She says with a wink and opens the lid to take a big sip.

"I think you just called me a dude but you know… you're welcome."

Brittany laughs at her slip and then pulls her mobile from her pocket.

"Somebody just texted me. Oh it's Puck!"

I watch how Brittany's eyes run over the small screen in her hands and how they widen at what the message says.

"Oh my God" She mumbles and shakes her head.

"What? What is it?" I want to know so I scoot closer.

"Puck says he just witnessed Mike asking Quinn to marry him!"

"What?" I exclaim and peer over Brittany's shoulder to read Puck's text.

"Apparently they are all at Puck's bar. Mike just kneeled down in front of her and asked her and she said yes. Oh my God…"

"I can't believe that!" I laugh and read the message again. "Mike and Quinn are getting married? Wow…"

"I know, right? But when you think about it, it doesn't come that surprising. Mike's been so crazy about her ever since that staff party at the Sylvester magazine and Quinn hasn't been acting much different. I think they make a really sweet couple, don't you think?" Brittany asks and turns her head to look at me.

"You're right, they're very sweet with each other. Quinn will make such a beautiful bride. Do you think we'll be invited?"

"Of course we'll be invited. You've become like Quinn's best friend, right? It wouldn't surprise me if she asked you to be her maid of honor."

"Yeah… that would be really sweet."

"I'm sure you'd look amazing in a dress."

She takes another sip of water and then grins bashfully.

"What?" I ask and bump her shoulder.

"I was just thinking… I know we hardly talk about it but what kind of wedding dress did you wear for your wedding with Gabe?"

"Oh" I exhale a breath and smile at her. "Uhm… it was white. Duh… It wasn't one of these long dresses that touch the ground. It was a rather short one and figure-enhancing but I loved that it was different. I didn't have a veil because I thought that's silly but I had these amazing shoes that were sinfully expensive. I only wore them that one day and almost felt bad for buying them. It was a really nice dress and I felt very special in that moment."

Brittany nods. It looks like she's picturing me in a white dress when a hidden smile forms on her lips.

"I never told this anyone but when I walked down the aisle I almost couldn't breathe. The dress was so pretty and I felt like a bride, I really did. But I couldn't breathe because I thought I was too young to be a bride. I knew that if I married Gabe then this would be the only time I'd get to wear such a dress and receive that ring. I couldn't help but wonder if I really wanted all this to be with Gabe. I felt terrible to think like that… and then I pushed the thought away because I was about to say 'I do'. Next thing I knew was how we were married."

"I didn't know you already had these doubts so early. Weren't you happy in the beginning?"

"I was… But I couldn't stop thinking about it not being the ultimate feeling of happiness. I was happy but I wasn't close to bursting with happiness, you know?"

"I think I do. I was bursting with happiness when we decided to go travelling together."

I smile and cup her left cheek with my hand.

"Me, too. I still am because we're here in Germany and even though we're far away from home, I feel like I'm home. Because you're with me…"

Brittany leans in and presses her lips against mine for another city kiss. So far we've had five different city kisses. L.A., New York, Florence, Zurich and Berlin.

I can't wait to make it six.

---

Barcelona, Spain…

"You burned your forehead."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, it's red. Does it hurt?"

"I don't think so. Ouch! Ok, it hurts when I touch it."

"Did forget to put on sunscreen?"

"Honey, I'm Hispanic. I don't do sunscreen."

"Honey, that's silly. Everybody needs sunblock. We're in Spain for Christ's sake, you're gonna get burned so badly. Let me do your back."

"You wanna do my back?"

"Yeah, I don't want you to get skin cancer."

"Good point… but there are people everywhere. I can't just take off my bikini top."

"Lie on your stomach and nobody will see your rambunctious twins. Come on."

I sigh and turn to lie down on the towel before pulling my hair from my neck. I turn my head and rest it on my wrists to have a look at what Brittany's about to do. She's wearing a yellow bikini and a straw hat and reaches for the sunblock in her bag. She kneels right next to me and soon I feel gentle fingers fumbling on the straps of my bikini top. I jerk when I feel cold lotion dripping onto my back and how it gets spread with slow motions.

"You're good at this" I mumble with a sigh when Brittany starts massaging my shoulder blades. "I should get burned more often."

"Or you could just ask for a massage."

"Or that… seriously, where did you learn this?" Brittany's fingers knead my skin delicately and it feels like she's not missing out one single inch.

"I guess I'm just a natural."

When she pays more attention to my lower back, I almost moan in pleasure because in front of my inner eye I picture us doing this naked. Embarrassed about my thoughts running wild while we're surrounded by people and children playing in the sand, I press my eyelids together and focus on the sound of waves in the background.

It's probably for the best when Brittany ties the straps again and lets me know that I can turn around.

"Thanks. Now I won't get burned anymore." I mumble and grin when Brittany puts some cream on her pointer and applies it to my forehead.

"Correct. Wanna get into the water?"

"Yes, please. I need to cool down. Your massage was quite a turn on…" I admit and get onto my feet.

"Sorry, didn't mean to." Brittany replies innocently but I know for sure she absolutely meant to.

"Liar" I tease and start jogging down to the water.

I stop abruptly when I realize that the water is freezing. I already want to turn around and walk back out but two arms wrap around from behind me and drag me deeper into the water.

"No wait! It's cold! Brittany, wait!" But next thing I know is how I stumble and dive under water.

When I get back to the surface and wipe the water off my face, I hear Brittany's laughter right behind me. I turn around and get a load of salt water into my mouth.

"Ugh gross!" I yell and swim towards Brittany to make her stop splashing water at me.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders and cling to her like a monkey.

"I can't stand on my toes anymore, we're already in too deep." I speak as I feel her hands on my back.

"Don't worry, I got you. Sorry about pushing you in. But you said you needed to cool down so… are you still turned on?"

I laugh and shrug while playing with Brittany's damp hair.

"Little bit… but you're not gonna start touching me under water because there are people swimming near us and I'm pretty sure I just saw a guy with diving goggles."

"Too bad" Brittany mumbles and kisses my jaw. "Sex on the beach has totally been one of my fantasies…"

I moan softly when her hands wander up and down my thighs and she keeps nibbling down my throat.

"Brittany…" I want to say with a warning tone but it comes out as a breath. "Stop teasing. That's not fair."

"Ok, ok" She chuckles as her hands come back to the surface. "I'm so gonna tease you when we get back to our hotel room. Race me to that buoy?"

I turn my head to see what buoy she's talking about but she already freed herself from my clasp and starts crawling over there.

"Hey! Head start!"

But Brittany doesn't hear me because she can swim like a dolphin and I'm just floating there like a jelly fish.

"Wow I can't believe two hours ago the sun was burning down on us and now it's pouring. Of course it has to rain on our last evening in Barcelona." Brittany mumbles and looks out of the window. "Look, it's already collecting to a puddle on our balcony!"

I step behind her and look over her shoulder to observe the rain falling down in thick drops.

"I wonder if it's cold rain or warm rain." I say and let my chin rest on her shoulder.

"Wanna go see?"

"But I just stepped out of the shower and dried my hair."

"Ok then I'll go see for you." Brittany opens the balcony door and steps outside barefoot. She's still wearing her bikini and some shorts and makes a few steps. "It's kind of warm!" She looks up into the sky and lets the rain wash over her face. Her hair gets wet within seconds. I laugh when she starts dancing because music sounds from one of our neighbor's balcony. It's an old Orishas song and my jaw drops down when Brittany does those Latin moves. She's a goddess… a dancing goddess and she makes a rainy day in Barcelona look extremely sexy.

She turns around and I get to stare at her back that is perfectly tanned after five days under the Spanish sun. She didn't even get burned… a glance she throws over her shoulder and tilts her head.

"Aren't you gonna join me out here? It's awesome."

I don't waste another second thinking of my dry hair and step outside. The rain engulfs me immediately and I shudder at first. The rain isn't even cold but combined with Brittany's dance moves I get shivers all over my body. Her back is still turned towards me and when I step close to her, I automatically place my hands on her waist. She cups my hands with her own and guides them to her stomach where she presses them to her skin and leans back into my embrace.

"I love your dance moves" I whisper into her ear and kiss her neck teasingly slow.

"And I love it when you watch me dance" She breathes before she pushes my hands up higher.

Alarmed I lift my head and look to both sides. No one is out there, Brittany and I are the only ones standing on our balcony in the pouring rain. The music makes Brittany move rhythmically in my arms.

I relax when there is no one watching us and let her guide my hands up until I'm holding her breasts in my hands and squeeze them gently. The water is dripping down her cleavage. I bite my lip when I hear a content sigh.

"You know I just remembered something" Brittany husks and presses my hands harder against her.

"What's that?"

"I remembered the first day we met. It was raining like it's now and I was about to cross the street." I open my eyes and look up to see Brittany's face from the side. Her eyes are closed and her lips parted. "You came out of nowhere"

I swallow because I have no idea why she wants to talk about the accident now. That accident is everything else but sexy as I almost killed her.

"Britt do you seriously want to talk about it now?"

She chuckles and shakes her head, her eyes still closed.

"No I just wanted to let you know…" With one hand she reaches behind herself and grabs the back of my neck. She turns her head so we can look into each other's eyes. "When you hit me with your car… it was the best thing that ever happened to me, Santana."

I want to laugh and say that getting hit by a car is horrible but I get shushed by a wet mouth against my own. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, Santana.

I pull back to get a breath of air. When she opens her eyes, I look at her deeply. With that look I tell her that it's the best thing that's ever happened to me, too. Then I grab her wrist to pull her inside.

She gropes my stomach and almost tears my shirt apart when she takes it off me. I reach behind her back and open her bikini top with trembling fingers. Standing in front of me wearing nothing but jean shorts, I let my eyes wander over her body. Beautiful is an understatement.

With one big step she is only inches apart and roughly pushes me back so I fall onto the bed. I want to object but she's already hovering above me and sucking all the air out of my body with furious kisses…

…I don't know how we managed to take off our shorts and how she sneaked behind my back to open the clasp of my bra but when we're lying naked on the bed with our legs entangled and our hips grinding into each other, I forget the world around me.

All I hear are Brittany's gasps when I roll on top of her and pull one of her thighs over mine. All I see are her blue eyes that resemble the ocean so much when I start a rhythm between our bodies. All I feel are Brittany's fingernails digging into my back and the unstoppable climax building in my lower stomach.

The raindrops have turned into pearls of sweat and they are wandering down Brittany's neck. Her fingers keep slipping over my skin because I'm in a similar state and I'm pretty sure a thermometer would explode in this room.

I have never felt this hot but it's amazing. There's literally no space left between us, not even for air. When I kiss her neck and breathe against her skin, she starts shaking and trembling uncontrollably. I hold her tight when she comes. My own release follows only seconds after.

Some incomprehensible words leave her lips so she takes a couple breaths to calm down. I kiss her chin to get her attention and when she looks down, a tired smile graces her lips.

We're both too exhausted to say something or to get our bodies into another position that would allow us to breathe better. I collapse on top of her and kiss her shoulder before closing my eyes, letting exhaustion take over.

---

Paris, France…

"So when we were in the plane…"

"Yes?"

"You were sleeping."

"Okay"

"And uh…"

"And what?"

"I was thinking."

"About?"

"About that thing you mentioned in Berlin."

"What thing?"

"That… future thing."

"I'm not quite following."

"When we were standing next to the remaining pieces of the Wall."

"Oh…"

"Yeah. I asked if we should talk about it but we changed the subject. And when we were in the plane I had time to think. You know how I get when I have too much time to think. I literally think about everything and-"

"Santana just tell me. We can talk about it now."

"Right. Well… When you mentioned me or… us having kids, I was overwhelmed. I know you said it just slipped out but really, I can't stop thinking about it."

Brittany takes my hands into hers which gets me to look at her. We're sitting in a park in Paris and behind Brittany's back there is the freakin' Eiffel Tower.

"You can't stop thinking about it because it scares you? We've only been together for a year. And we're young. We've got all the time, right?"

"No, I know. I know we do. It doesn't actually scare me. After Gabe and I broke up, I never wanted to think about marriage and babies ever again. I built this aversion towards the thought of ever starting a family with someone because I kept picturing it the wrong way. I didn't picture it with you."

"Who did you picture it with?"

"I still pictured it with Gabe. Because he was the only one I ever really had a relationship with. When we got married, we were supposed to stay together for the rest of our lives. Hypothetically… so even though we had split up, I still pictured his face when I thought of things like family. It felt really wrong but it happened automatically. So I thought it was better to just push it aside and not think about it at all. When you mentioned kids, I was overwhelmed."

Brittany is looking at me and waiting patiently while I speak.

"Ok… when we were in the plane and you thought about all this stuff- did you still picture it with Gabe?" She wants to know.

I shake my head, then I take a deep breath. Excitement fills my chest.

"No. I pictured it with you, silly."

"How does that feel?" She almost whispers. I can see a hint of fear in her eyes.

I bite on my lip.

"My heart starts beating fast… really fast. And my knees go weak. I even feel a little dizzy when I picture you and me going all the way. It makes me nervous. But the good kind of nervous. I realize that it feels so…"

"So what, Santana?"

I look up and meet Brittany's blue eyes which are begging and hoping desperately for me to say something positive. A smile forms on my lips.

"So real. It makes my heart beat fast because I get so excited. I never thought I'd want to get married ever again or have my own family. I thought I wasn't good at it because I failed with Gabe. But when I think that this time it would be with you then I want it. I mean… not right now. You just said we're still young and you're right. But I want to do this with you one day. I want it all…"

"Wow I-"

"Only if you want it with me, too of course. I'm just talking for myself and would accept if you had a different opinion."

Brittany laughs softly and then she leans in to kiss me on the lips.

"Are you kidding?" She whispers and gently grabs my face. "Of course I want it with you. Who else? I think the best thing to do is to take small steps and talk about the future bit by bit. But if there's one thing that I can promise you, Santana Lopez…"

I laugh when she tries to stay serious but has to giggle, too.

"Then I promise you that I'm in all the way. I think with you and me… anything's possible."

I wrap my arms around her middle and push her down until she's lying on the small blanket we have spread. I cover her face with kisses and tickle her sides. When her body starts shaking with laughter, I can't help but join in.

"Bonsoir Madame. Qu'est-ce que vous désirez?" I stare at the gentleman behind the Crêpes stall because I didn't expect he'd speak French.

Which is stupid. Of course he speaks French. How is he supposed to know we're Americans? I'm the tourist, I have to adjust. Ok, keep cool. Speak French.

"Bonjour. Uh… Deux Crêpes, s'il vous plaît. Une fois avec de la cannelle et l'autre avec du chocolat pour ma copine." Oh my God, please make him understand what I just said and not burst into laughter because my French sucks so badly.

Brittany is standing right next to me. It would be really embarrassing if he switched to English and asked me to repeat my order. But the man smiles brightly and nods enthusiastically.

"Avec plaisir! C'est tout?"

"Oui, merci." He tells us to please wait three minutes and so I step away and make space for the person standing behind me in line.

When I look at Brittany, she is staring at me with her mouth hanging open.

"Ok that… was probably the sexiest thing I've ever heard." She mumbles.

"What?"

"You ordering pancakes in French, duh."

"Those aren't pancakes. They're called crêpes."

"Crap?"

"Almost… you really think that was sexy?"

"Uhm yes? Why the hell do I not know you speak French?"

I laugh nervously because I'm pretty sure I'm blushing hardcore. So far this used to be my little secret.

"I don't really… but during my time at college I took some French classes in the evening because I loved the language. And… I always wanted to go to Paris."

Brittany's eyes widen at my confession. She wants to ask me something but gets interrupted by the man who hands us our two crêpes. Mine with cinnamon and Brittany's with chocolate. My order was correct.

Once we've paid, we stroll through the streets of le Quartier Latin and eat the best "pancakes" Brittany's ever had.

"So you speak Spanish and French and never told me anything about it? How can you keep such a sexy secret from me?" Brittany asks and takes a big bite of her crêpe.

"My French really isn't that good. I didn't want to embarrass myself."

"But I don't speak a word French. You could have said anything and I'd have no idea. Please say something else… I want to hear more!"

"Ok, ok. Promise not to laugh."

"Of course not."

"Alright" I take a breath and check if there's no French person standing close to me who might hear me talk. "Ok here we go: Je suis à Paris avec une jolie femme."

Brittany stops walking and grabs my wrist to make me stop, too.

"What does that mean?" She asks and keeps looking back and forth between my eyes and my lips. I clear my throat with a shrug.

"It means I'm in Paris with a pretty woman."

"Aww… what else?"

"Uhm… Est-ce que tu es heureuse quand tu voyages avec moi? Or something like that..."

Brittany chuckles at my insecurity and puts a stray of hair behind my ear. We're standing at a random street corner and it's getting darker since the sun is slowly setting.

"What was that?" She asks with a smirk.

"I asked you if you're happy travelling with me. Or at least I tried."

Brittany steps closer and wraps one arm around my neck. Her cheek brushes against mine when she leans in to whisper into my ear.

"Oui. I am very happy."

We're both grinning like idiots when she pulls back and we start walking down the road.

"Say one more thing before we get to our motel room." Brittany begs once we have finished our crêpes and approach our current residence.

"Ok one more thing… But I have to whisper it into your ear."

"Why, is it something naughty?" Brittany wants to know and perks an eyebrow.

"Maybe"

"Okay, I'm listening."

I cup her face with one hand and hold it still so I can step on my toes and whisper into her ear.

"Je t'aime…"

Brittany wraps her arms around my waist and holds me close.

"I think I know what that means." She mumbles. Warm hands run over my back when she kisses my temple before saying: "I love you more."

It's 3am when I climb out of bed and step towards the balcony door. I woke up because there are still people partying in the streets and it sounds like they're having a blast down there. I take a couple breaths of fresh air and shiver when I stand there for a while, only wearing underwear and a tank top. The stars are perfectly visible tonight. I wish Brittany was awake to have a look at them, too. She's slumbering in our double bed and in a couple minutes I'll go back under the covers to wrap my arms around her body.

I smile when I throw a glance over my shoulder and see how she's stealing my blanket in her sleep. That's really ok though… I'll just have to snuggle up even closer or steal it back from her. We always fight over the blankets or the pillows… it's become our thing. After some time we'll end up real close and fall back asleep.

It's the same during the day… Sometimes we get on each other's nerves because we both think we're right about something. We can argue about something but then suddenly it turns into a conversation and we forget what we were bickering about in the first place.

Sometimes we just sit next to each other, read a book or listen to music and don't say anything because there's no need to. We just enjoy each other's presence.

She's my match made in heaven.

Some people would say that it doesn't exist or that I'm naïve. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic. But when I look at her and she's sleeping so carefree and making my heart beat faster – I know it's true.

Fin...

---

July 12th, 2012