A/N: I do not own Criminal Minds!

Chapter 6

Seven Months Later

"What does the baby represent empathy wise for Darla?" The student of the Psych in Pop Culture class asked. "She acted selflessly to save Connor. That's not a normal action of a psychopath."

Emily smiled, glad that the students took her topic seriously, and asked intelligent questions. "You're right. Darla does seem like quite an exception. Other than Spike, of course. So, in the real world, the idea of 'love' of a child by a psychopath isn't well known or studied. It's hard to know exactly how one psychopath would feel for their child. I've talked to some who say they don't feel anything. I know some who swear they love their child. But most of them say they feel some sort of obligation and protectiveness. Almost like a teacher or mentor, rather than a parent." She caught Remi's smile as her girlfriend watched her profiler working.

"So is Darla's love for her son incorrect?" The student asked. "Is it incorrectly misrepresented?"

Emily let out a chuckle. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not the creator. The whole storyline could have been used as drama. There may have been no psychological thought to it. Spike and Darla are obvious examples of how the theory could be incorrect. We could be reading too much into it." She turned the floor over to her girlfriend.

"So much of what we think are easter eggs or theories, aren't really anything, and the creators didn't even realize they added something in there that fans would notice. And sometimes, the creators take credit for something really intelligent that the watchers notice, that the creators didn't even intend to do. Pulling apart what's accidental and real, that's the really difficult part. And that is what we will talk about more next class. Class dismissed." Remi watched the students trickle out of the room as she walked up to her grinning girlfriend. When the last student left, she pulled Emily into an embrace and whispered in her ear, "You did great today."

"Same to you," Emily replied before kissing her. "I love watching you work. It's very, very, very sexy."

Remi giggled as her fingers went down Emily's back. "Hot for a teacher, eh?"

"Mmmm," Emily groaned as she leaned over to kiss the professor's neck. "I am very naughty, Professor Ramirez. You should punish me."

Remi moaned as she was kissed by Emily.

Their moment was interrupted, however, by a text to Emily. It was from Hotch. She read it.

Hotchner: Sorry to interrupt your afternoon, but you need to come to the office. Bring your go bag. You're heading to La Plata, Colorado.

After Emily read the text, she harrumphed, annoyed. She looked up to find Remi looking disappointed.

"Shit, Remi, I'm sorry. I have to get to the office. We have a case."

Remi frowned in disappointment. "Of course you do. Please tell me it's in DC and you will come back to me tonight."

Emily shook her head sadly. "Unfortunately, no. I'm going to Colorado. So we'll have to stop by our place before heading to the office. Can you drop me off?"

The professor sighed and kissed her girlfriend's head. "Of course, darling. Come on. We don't want you to be late."

On the commercial plane to Colorado, Reid asked Emily, "So, did you tell Remi that you're about to infiltrate a cult?"

Emily shook her head as she looked through the case file on Benjamin Cyrus. "I don't tend to tell her about the cases until I come home from them safely. We both like it better that way. I don't want to worry her."

Spencer nodded, understanding her point. "Why didn't Remi come to JJ's housewarming party?"

Prentiss glared at her colleague. "You truly are full of personal questions today." When she realized she was a little too harsh, she added, "Sorry. I'm just cranky. Remi and I were in the middle of something when Hotch texted. And I think that Remi is getting tired of the job hours and the random cases."

The genius looked at her carefully, trying to read what she wasn't saying. "At least you both moved in together. Now you must have more time together."

"Sure," Emily agreed. "But Maia also cries at night. A lot. I love her, but I need my sleep, too. You know? Though, I don't sleep much anyway. If I was Remi, I'd be tired of my nightmares by now."

"You have nightmares?" He asked her, curious.

"Always," Emily admitted. She returned to focusing on the case. "So, this Benjamin Cyrus. He remind you of anyone?"

"From what I can tell, he hasn't committed murder or gotten anyone else to commit murder from him. And, unlike Jones, Koresh, or Manson, he does not believe he is Jesus Christ. But he could believe he is a Messiah, like Koresh."

Emily grinned, always enjoying the genius' rambling. "Thank you for that, Spencer. At least you got who I was referring to."

"Hotch, man, what should I do about Remi?" Morgan asked after the beating of Emily Prentiss ceased. "She hasn't stopped texting me since she found out Emily was here and that the media found out that an FBI Agent s in the building. She put two and two together."

The Unit Chief shook his head. He didn't want to deal with this at the moment. "Don't respond. Wait until we get Emily out of this."

"She's going to kill us," Morgan murmured under his breath, knowing how protective the woman was of her profiling girlfriend. His phone starting to ring and picked it up when he saw that it was JJ calling. "Morg-"

"I heard Emily was beaten by Cyrus," JJ cried out on the phone. "Is she…"

"She's okay," Morgan told her softly. "She's alive. She handled it, JJ. She was strong. We'll get her back. Don't worry."

"Derek, I can't lose her."

He didn't know what to read into that statement. "I know. None of us can. We'll get her and pretty boy back. Soon. Talk to you later, JJ."

Emily's mind churned as she watched the building explode. She waiting for her boys to come out. She wouldn't be able to handle losing them. Spencer was the whole reason why she told him that she was the agent. She needed them to be alive.

She felt JJ behind her. She felt her the pain of her team members behind her. She knew they needed them as much as she did. She heard the blonde weep softly behind her. She wanted to comfort her. But she needed to be there the second her colleagues came out of that building. And that's when she saw them.

She hugged Spencer tightly, never wanting to let go. That day changed them. Probably forever. It hurt her body to hold him. But she knew he needed it just as much as she did.

Morgan approached her next. As she hugged him, he whispered in her ear, "JJ needs you. Go to her."

The brunette profiler didn't know what he meant by that. He turned around to find the blonde crying. She walked up to her and held her close. This was a normal embrace for them. Since JJ had told Emily that she was pregnant and that Will left her, Emily spent all of her free time helping the blonde. JJ spent most of that time convincing Emily to not kill Will.

"I'm okay," Emily told her over and over again. "It looks worse than it is."

Once the hug ended, JJ put her hand to Emily's bruise on her cheekbone. She bit her lip, holding in the tears that wanted to come out. "I'm going to take care of you, tonight. It's the least I can do after all this time with you taking care of me."

Emily nodded. She normally didn't want anyone to take care of her, let alone JJ. But she knew that the liaison needed this more than she did. "Let's go to a hotel room. I need some fresh clothes. Preferably some without blood." She meant it as a joke, but it only made JJ start crying more again. Emily sighed and put her hand on JJ's back. "Awe, that was a joke, Jen. Only a joke. I didn't mean to upset you. Come on, let's go to the others."

Emily let JJ clean her up. She let her clean her wounds. She let her wash her hair. She let the blonde take care of her. She almost felt guilty for it. It was so personal and intimate. But she knew it was something JJ needed. Emily summed it up to her maternal instincts kicking in.

JJ tucked Emily in. She brushed the hair out of the brunette's eyes. "I'm so glad that you're still here. You scared me so much today. I know it wasn't your fault. I know that it's just part of the job, but it's still hard."

"I'm sorry I scared you. But I couldn't let that be Reid. Besides, Reid already had his trust. I made the logical decision."

"Always the martyr," JJ whispered as she stared into Emily's dark eyes. Her attention was interrupted when Emily's phone buzzed. She picked it up and passed to Emily, the moment ended. She knew who it was. She crawled into bed with her, which had become a normalcy in the last couple of months.

Emily saw the many messages.

Ramirez: Hey, babe! How's the case going?

Ramirez: Must be a tough one. Have you seen the news? There's this raid in La Plata for this commune and the followers are held as hostages. Insane.

Ramirez: FBI Agent? Em, please reply and tell me that you aren't in La Plata. That it's just a coincidence.

Ramirez: I've been calling your team they won't tell me anything. Darling, don't leave me in the dark.

Ramirez: I need you to reply.

Emily felt a surge of guilt. She quickly replied.

Prentiss: I just got back to the hotel. I was inside the building but the team and I are fine. I'll be home soon.

Remi responded immediately.

Ramirez: Thank god. Do I need to come up there? Are you okay?

Prentiss: I'm fine. Don't come. I'll be home soon. I miss you. Go to bed. I'll be there as soon as I can.

Emily put her phone down. She didn't want to go home. She didn't want Remi to see her like this. She knew how much pity she would get. She wanted to look stronger than this. She didn't want to get into the 'your job is too dangerous' argument again. Especially since it was Remi that was winning.

She dreamt of fire and God. She was sent to hell. Cyrus was there. And previous UnSubs. And other people from her past she swore to forget. She felt the burning hands of all the men she has put away. She felt the violation of all the men she has screwed. Literally and figuratively.

"You've done this to yourself…"

"It's your fault no one loves you…"

"You're a sinner. And sinners get what they deserve…"

"You wanted me to touch you…"

"You're not natural…"

"Who wants to love you? You're just fuckable. That's all you are, Emily. A body. And not even a good one at that."

"I didn't want you…"

"God doesn't love you…"

Words of her past swarmed her. She tried to hide from her past. But the fire always returned. The voices and touching always returned. She thought she almost deserved it.

She woke up dripping with sweat. She felt a warm hands holding her tightly. She expected to see Remi but was surprised to see JJ.

"I get them too," JJ told her quietly. "It's not just the UnSubs. I dream about my sister."

Emily furrowed her eyebrows, her head aching at the confusion. The blonde never referenced a sister before. She let JJ continue if she wanted to.

"You remind me of her sometimes. You have the same look in your eyes. Like you're hiding your pain because you don't want people to know you aren't stone. Because you don't want to burden people. You nor your problems are a burden to me, Emily."

"I have ghosts," Emily admitted, not knowing what she was saying until the words fell out of her mouth. "And sometimes they haunt me. And they don't go away."

"You compartmentalize better than others. That's what you told me. When I realized that you don't flinch. And you do compartmentalize better than others. Because you've seen so much worse haven't you?"

Emily breathed out, "Yes."

JJ held her tighter. "I can't lose you like I lost my sister. Promise me you won't leave me."

Emily melted at her confession. She knew that was nothing she could promise. But for some reason, she promised her anyway. She's never felt more cared for in anyone's arms. Like she was special. Like she was the only one. She also felt something else in her embrace. She just couldn't tell what it exactly was.

The ambassador's daughter opened the door to the apartment that she and Remi shared to hear the sound of crying and screaming. She could recognize it anywhere. Maia. She walked into the living area to find Remi trying to soothe the crying baby. The fact that Remi didn't look at the profiler when she walked in was a sign of the anger that she felt for the agent.

"Sshhh… It's okay, Maia. It's okay. Emily is here now." She still wouldn't look at her girlfriend. She didn't even notice Emily's slight limp from her bruised ribs as she walked to the couch where the professor and baby were sitting. She had finally gotten the baby to settle down.

"I couldn't reply," Emily whispered, ashamed of herself as she stood next to them, her hair covering a lot of her face. "I was undercover the whole time. I didn't even have my phone on me. And the team were busy. They couldn't reply."

Remi snorted as if she didn't believe her statement. "If I was Haley or Will no one would have even hesitated to inform me about you. They don't think we're serious."

"Haley and Hotch divorced and Will left JJ-"

"I know that! You've been reminding me that a lot recently. I know that Will left JJ. I know that she's pregnant and alone. You tell me that every time you see her after work. You don't have to remind me. Believe me, I won't forget."

Emily realized that she wasn't just mad about not responding to her messages. "I'm sorry, Rem. I can't just abandon her. She has nobody."

"I know. It's just that you're never here. And when you aren't on a case, you spend half of your time with her. I know that you're mates and that you are trying to be there for her. I get that. It's just hard. Because all I want to do is spend time with you. But I never feel like I have-" She stopped talking when she finally looked up at Emily. For the first time, she saw the discoloration, bruising, and cuts scattered across the profiler's face. "Em? You said you were okay…"

"I am okay!" Emily reiterated suddenly, her voice becoming stronger. Once she saw the complete disbelief and worry in Remi's face, she added, "I've been through worse-"

"Worse?!" Remi exclaimed as she got up from the couch. She rushed to Maia's bedroom and placed the baby in her crib. She closed the door and crossed her arms when she looked at Emily. "How much worse?"

Emily didn't understand what she was asking. "What?"

"How much worse have you gotten in your line of work? Show me. Come here and show me," Remi commanded, tears bubbling up in her eyes.

The agent gaped at the professor. "I- I'm not going to do that! That's idiotic." She didn't know what to do. Remi had never been this angry.

"Have you broken a bone? Gotten a concussion? Have you been shot? Stabbed? Assaulted? God, Em. Worse than that? Rape…?" Her eyes dazzled back and forth, trying to find an answer in Emily's eyes.

The profiler didn't know how to answer. "I don't… Remi, I'm not sure."

"How are you not sure?" Remi asked her, tears streaming down her face. "Are the injuries too many to count? Have you been shot so many times you don't remember the number? And don't give me some half-ass answer like 'it's classified' or that bullshit. I'm your girlfriend. Right? Aren't we in a relationship?"

Emily didn't know what she was getting to. She felt sick seeing Remi in pain that she caused. This was the last thing she wanted to do. In fact, this was the reason she avoided close relationships. "Of course we are. It's just complicated."

Remi groaned and facepalmed. "I know it is! I know you're whole past is this complicated mess that you can't talk to me about. I get that. You've made that plenty clear. But you can't even tell me something like this? It's so hard, Emily. Because, most days, I see you and we can talk about anything. Shows, politics, philosophy, psychology, anything. We take care of Maia and we sleep together and everything is good. Happy. And I see myself spending my life with you. But then we get into our pasts and you suddenly can't talk. And it hurts because I've fallen in love with you. And I'm afraid it's one-sided."

Emily stared at her. They never said the 'love' word before. She walked up to Remi and wrapped her aching arms around her. "It's not one-sided," Emily promised her. "I'll try harder. I'll be better."

Remi sobbed into her shoulder. "Thank you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, darling. I'm sorry I got so mad. I'm sorry someone hurt you. What do you need?"

"Can you hold me?" Emily asked her girlfriend quietly.

Without replying, they walked to the bedroom. Remi wrapped her whole body around the profiler. She gave everything to her.

It was different than it was with JJ. The liaison made her feel special. The professor made her feel secure. Safe. She just didn't know which one made her feel more comfortable.

I know that sometimes time jumps suck, but I thought this one was important. I don't pretend that I'm a psych know it all. So if I was incorrect at all with anything at the beginning of the chapter, I apologize. I also apologize for more of the Buffy references."Minimal Loss" is such a fantastic episode I just had to add it in the plot line. So, Remi's pissed. She has every right to be. And now Emily's just stuck in all of these crazy emotions. This was a super important chapter because everyhing is unraveling a little bit. Remi is no longer hiding her fears, Emily is remembering her feelings for JJ, and JJ... she's starting to realize maybe she has more romantic than platonic feelings for Emily. Thank you all so much for reading! Reviews are welcome and appreciated! XX