Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. This is a work of fiction that I am not making a profit off of.

A/N: So I've gotten a lot of people asking why don't I update faster if I'm ahead. I try to work ahead so I can update every other week consistently. Because last week I didn't feel like writing and a lot of stuff came up, also yesterday I slammed my thumb in my car door… Sometimes things happen to prevent me from writing. So, I am trying to avoid that and not take five years for this… Hopefully…

WARNING - FLASHBACK CONTAINS LIGHT MENTION OF DRUG USE.

Flashback

Sweat blurred his vision as he curled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. Teeth chattering, Roy's head dropped down to his chest as his chest heaved. "No," he gritted out between stuttering clenched teeth.

Karen sighed, stepping in front of him. "I hear your con-"

His head snapped forward, falling to the trash can in between his legs as he emptied his stomach once again.

Karen rushed to his side, steadying him. "Roy," she started, helping him lean up once more. Bringing a cold towel to his face, she wiped his chin. "I think you need-"

"No," he told her, falling back against the medical cot. Eyes rolling to the ceiling, Roy tried to focus on anything but his pain. His head throbbed, and it felt as though every nerve in his body was on fire. His stomach rolled in wild waves of nausea and chest clenched tightly with panic. Breathing labored, Roy's body was coated with sweat as he shivered from the cold. "I don't n-ne-"

"Then let me monitor your vitals," she huffed, placing a tired hand on her forehead as she watched him. "You could go into cardiac arrest or have a seizure."

Roy chuckled tightly, looking at her as cheekily as he could manage. "I'm still," he inhaled sharply, chest constricting. Cardiac arrest sounded pretty good if it meant he got a moment without pain. "Awake."

"For now." She pulled the monitors closer to his head. "And I wanna make sure you stay alive if you pass out during the detox.

"I d-don't think," he wheezed, laughing, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. "I'm going to pass out." He was pretty sure he was dying though.

"We can still do the chemical detox," Karen told him gently. Taking his left hand, she tied the tourniquet around his arm."You can sleep dur-"

"No drugs."

"You're not getting high-"

"No." Though weak, his voice was firm. "No," he whispered, eyes closing as he focused on breathing. A small gasp escaped his lips as he felt the needle prick his skin.

"Sorry," Karen mumbled with a small grimace.

The prick hadn't hurt him.

Roy had injected heroin between his toes in a gas station bathroom.

Pain wasn't the problem.

That needle stick brought a flood of nostalgia and wave of doubt. Not even twenty four hours into withdrawal, and he already missed heroin.

Alcohol.

Percocet.

Ecstasy.

Heroin.

And the long list of things he tried from strangers hands and bodies.

The conscious decision to detox meant he was going to work toward sobriety. It meant that he was going to try to deal with the long list of problems repressed.

His mother's abandonment.

Witnessing his father burn to death.

Brave Bow's death.

His estranged relationship with Ollie.

Jade.

Lian.

Roy squeezed his eyes shut, swallowing bile and the craving to numb his feelings. "I need," he gasped sharply, teeth gritting together as his head throbbed. "I need this to hurt." He wanted the consequences of relapse burned into the front of memory. His fingers dug into his arms as he trembled.

Karen finished the IV, hooking her friend up to the monitors. "Okay," she told him quietly, placing a comforting hand against his shoulder.

"I-" he inhaled. Eyes blurred as he watched the the floor crash against the ceiling.

"Roy?" She placed a gentle hand against his chest, shaking him. "Roy?" Karen checked his pupils, then placed her fingers against his neck for a pulse.

The steady note of asystole echoed in the med lab.

"Shit!" She cursed, immediately applying chest compressions. "Roy!" Karen shouted, as she pumped his chest.

Flash Forward

"What time is it?" Raven murmured, panicking as she pushed the hoodie draped over her. She faintly wiped the line of drool running down her chin.

Between listening to Changeling's voicemail messages, Roy offering to take her back to Jump, and the noisy dialogue running through her mind, Raven had reached her limit. Her lighthearted morning had quickly spiraled down into overwhelming anxiety and panic. When Roy exited to the interstate, she'd hastily crawled into the back seat to locate her backpack to locate her pills for panic attacks.

She wasn't worried about the clothes and underwear thrown during her search.

She didn't care that Roy could hear the pills rattling in the plastic bottles.

Raven popped one of her pills in her mouth and settled back into the passenger seat, leaning back into the seat as she closed her eyes in relief. The last thing she remembered was the melody of the radio becoming quieter and Roy's quiet humming as the world faded to black.

"Hey sleepyhead," Roy smirked, taking a quick glance at his companion. "Have a nice nap?"

Raven roughly rubbed her eyes, leaning down as her back arched. "What time is it?" She repeated, looking at the clock in front of her.

"Almost six," he answered with a sure nod. "I tried to wake you up when I stopped for-"

"Grilled cheese," she smirked, shaking her hair out as she looked out at the road.

"Actually I got a double cheeseburger and a strawberry milkshake."

"What? No fries?" Raven teased, resting her head against the seat. Her eyes moved toward the dashboard. "You're slipping."

He scoffed, "The fries were implied the moment I said double cheeseburger."

"Roy?" She drawled, her head tilting at the black screen of the GPS.

"I mean they weren't great fries," he shrugged as he continued driving. "I've been hoping we could find a place that had some potato wedges."

"Roy?"

His disappointment was evident, "At the very least some waffle fries…"

Raven shook her head, refusing to be amused by his antics. "Roy?"

"I can't wait till we get to Chicago. I gotta see a man about a deep dish pizza."

"Harper!"

Roy's head snapped over to her for a moment, "Roth?"

At least she had his attention. "Why is the GPS off?"

"Oh that," he answered, wiggling his fingers around the wheel. His neck stretched as he gazed into the rear view mirror and lowered the sun visor. "I know where we're going."

"You know how to get to Chicago?"

"We're not going to Chicago."

Raven's eyes widened in confusion as she sat frozen in the passenger seat. She reached forward, snatching the GPS from the dash mount.

"I know where we're going," Roy assured casually.

"I didn't know you were so familiar with Utah." Her head bounced against the headrest as she waited for the GPS to start. Her fingers tapped against the outside of the device as her eyes narrowed at him.

"We're not in Utah."

Raven didn't have to turn her head to see his smug satisfied grin. "Well," she started, looking down at the map loading in her hands. "Colorado then."

"We're in Arizona," Roy told her factually. "You hungry? I know you haven't had lunch, and I could totally go for a sn-"

Arizona? "Why are we in Arizona?!"

"Why wouldn't we be in Arizona?"

"Because it's off course."

"We have a course?"

"She growled, "Pull over. I'm driving."

"No-"

"Pull. Over."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Think she's gonna call him?"

Nightwing allowed his masked eyes to slide to his peripheral vision as he looked at the changeling sitting in the kitchen behind them. "Not my business," he murmured quietly as he selected his character for the game. Nightwing cleared his throat as he straightened his back against the couch and focused on the big screen in front of him.

Changeling hadn't moved from the table since breakfast.

After his brief conversation with Raven, Nightwing ventured into the kitchen for breakfast. Changeling had already been at the table with a bowl of cereal in front of him, spoon in his right hand, and cell phone resting beneath his left. Green eyes locked on the wall in front of him, he didn't bothering acknowledging Nightwing or Cyborg when either greeted him. He barely shrugged his shoulders to reject their offer to play GameStation with them.

"Well he better get his act together," Cyborg grumbled, twisting to face the Changeling. "Before he eats all of the Sugar Cocoa Noms," Cyborg's voice boomed echoing through the main room and into the kitchen.

The sound of the cereal bowl clanking against the metal sink echoed loudly, followed the changeling's angry footsteps. "Fuck you, dude," Changeling growled, showing Cyborg a choice finger and hugging the box of cereal against his chest.

Cyborg chuckled, watching the changeling retreat.

"Did you have to antagonize him?" Nightwing sighed, tiredly shaking his head as he paused the game. "Really?"

"What?" Cyborg shrugged, innocently. "I just bought that box of cereal. If he wants to eat his feelings, then he can go buy his own damn box."

Nightwing huffed loudly, head dropping forward between his shoulders, "I can not believe you, Victor."

"Don't you "Victor" me!" Cyborg scuffed proudly. "I am all about supportive because he got his little feelings hurt by his little girlfriend-"

"Girlfriend?!" That was certainly an interesting word choice.

Cyborg rolled his eyes. "I'm half robot, not blind. Those two have been hot and cold since day one, so I'm not surprised that he's upset about her leaving."

Nightwing nodded. That was fair.

"I am surprised Raven didn't bother telling him about her move, though," Cyborg spoke slowly. His eyes carefully shifted to the masked Titan next to him. "Considering she told everyone else."

"She didn't tell Terra."

"Her and Terra were never close." Nice try.

Nightwing shrugged, fingers fiddling with the controller. It really wasn't his business.

"You know something," Cyborg's eyes widened with interest. "What do you know?"

"Well," Nightwing inhaled deeply, looking up at the television and adjusting the controller in hands. "I know that it's none of my business."

That was a cop out. "And?"

"You might wanna pay attention before I whoop your ass," Nightwing smirked, immediately starting the fight on screen.

"I wasn't ready!"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Raven had watched the sun disappear below the horizon, her fingers nervously clutching a bag of french fries. They'd been driving through miles of the endlessly empty roads of Arizona desert. She'd given up counting tumbleweeds and brightly striped boulders. Instead, Raven passed the time by keeping her eyes peeled for the rare sight of lights from a gas station, motel, or some sign that they hadn't strayed so far from civilization.

"Will you chill out and eat your fries?" Roy chuckled, shaking his head as he continued to drive.

"I'm saving them in case we get stranded in the desert," she told him with a sigh that was somewhere between teasing and annoyed. "I can start with the fries, then work on eating you to survive."

He laughed, "You know a lot of people who are lost in the desert are found dead with food and water on them."

Raven's eyes narrowed, her nails stabbed through the damp paper bag as she eyed him strangely. "Was that supposed to comfort me?" She wondered. "Cause it didn't."

"These are important survival tips," he nodded confidently, flipping the high beams. "Eat when you're hungry and drink when you're thirsty."

"Nice for you to mention this now." The car jerked and wobbled as he turned unto the dirt path. Raven leaned forward in her seat, eyes squinting. "When you're going off road," she nodded, her lips tight. "Into the desert. Miles from civilization."

"I know exactly where we are."

Dust swirled around the car as they road over rocks and gravel. "We're driving in the middle of the desert." The lights from the little service station were fading into the night in her side mirror.

"We're on a side road headed toward our destination," Roy assured.

"You know know the word road has certain implications, right?"

He cast her a quick affirmative glance as he continued driving, "I know."

"The word road literally means an open way for vehicles."

He couldn't argue with that.

"We," she looked out into the darkness, dust, and dirt. At least the moon was coming out. "Are not on a road. I can't recall the last time I had to avoid shrubs in the middle of the road."

"Just because there isn't a sign pointing to it, doesn't mean it's not a road."

Raven huffed defiantly. There wasn't much she could really do in this situation, so she may as well relax. "You know that would be really profound if we weren't lost."

"Again, not lost," Roy told her as he continued to drive. "I know exactly where we are, and where we're going. Even if we were lost, there's nothing wrong with that. You get somewhere eventually."

"How could you possibly know where we are?"

The corners of his lips turned down as he inhaled sharply. "My father," he struggled, clearing his throat to keep his voice steady and to the point. "My father was a forest ranger and after he passed away the Navajo took me in." Roy looked at her with a sad smirk, "I know a thing or two about navigating the land, Rae."

She relaxed allowing her back to fall against the seat. Her fingers loosened their death grip on the bag of fries as she cast him a soft glance. "Okay," she told him quietly.

"We're almost there," he whispered. Placing a reassuring hand on her knee, Roy gave it a little squeeze.

Wherever there was.

Raven glanced at the darkness in front of her focusing on the dark sky and stars glimmering above them. Leaning into the headrest, she exhaled loudly as she felt her body sinking into the soft upholstery. Her eyes slowly closed as a little yawn escaped, pressing the button to roll her window down.

Might as well meditate.

Her lips mouthed her mantra as she focused on her breathing.

The gentle rocking of the car.

Roy's warm hand against her leg.

The cool blast from the night air.

The crackling of gravel and dirt beneath the rough tire treads.

"And," Roy's voice chirped excitedly, pulling to a smooth stop. He shifted the car into park and unbuckled his seatbelt. "We're here!"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Really?"

He didn't even flinch, phone still firmly in his grasp as his thumbs tapped out word after word. Brows knitted in angry concentration and fang sinking into his bottom lip, Changeling hadn't even noticed her.

"Okay, look," Terra huffed, snatching the phone out of his hands.

He frowned, looking angrily at his girlfriend. "Give it back," he requested, too tired to really argue with her.

"No," she stated firmly. "It's almost midnight, don't tell me you've been sitting here all day eating cereal and texting Raven?"

Actually, he'd hung out in their room and the roof before coming back to the kitchen to eat cereal and stare at his phone, but he thought it wise not to argue the details. Changeling groaned running his hands over his face in frustration, "What the hell else am I supposed to do?"

"Let it go!" She exclaimed, gesturing to the walls around them. "Like everyone else in this tower!"

"Why is everyone's acting like this is okay?" He frowned, slouching in his chair. Changeling placed his fingers against his temples massaging the area in firm slow circles.

Raven would do the same thing anytime she was frustrated.

Terra sighed, dropping into the chair next to him. She set his phone aside, gently taking his hands as she faced him. "I am really trying hard to be supportive of whatever you're going through, but-"

"I'm not going through anything!" He snapped bitterly, flinching. "One of our teammates just up and decided to ditch us! No one is upset! No one is talking about it!"

"What exactly do we need to say, Gar?" Terra questioned. She inhaled sharply, forcing her tone to be even but firm. "Because I don't know. I don't understand what's going on."

His elbows crashed against the table top as he hung his head in his hands. Fingers ripped through his scalp as he growled with frustration. "She just…" He shook his head, breathing sharply. "She just up and left us. Not a word, a goodbye, not a hint, not a fucking clue. And it, absolutely, bothers the fuck out of me, Terra."

"Okay," she nodded, sympathetically. "So what can we do about that?"

His spine slowly straightened, eyes wide and with hopeless confusion as reality flooded his senses. What could he do?

"You've spent the last day calling and texting her nonstop, and she hasn't responded," Terra explained softly. "Nightwing isn't worried. Cyborg isn't worried, and for god's sake, neither is Starfire." The blonde shook her head in disbelief as she gave another shrug. "And if Starfire isn't worried, then…" She trailed off unsure of what to say.

"That's my point," he growled. "They should be worried."

"For what? She's gone." Her fingers gently threaded in his hair, tracing soothing circles against his scalp as she watched his mind work furiously to understand. "Okay, we miss her, but the world keeps going, Gar. You get over it in time."

Changeling felt his eyes open as realization washed over him. "They knew," he whispered.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Where exactly is here?" Raven wondered quietly as she slowly followed Roy out of the car. Eyes focused on the stars, she stepped in front of the car.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen so many stars.

Maybe on Azarath under a different sky.

"Watch your step." Roy gently grabbed her arm, stopping her from moving forward. He reached inside his pocket. Clicking the key fob, the headlights illuminated through the impossibly black night air around them.

A large fire pit was nestled between two large tipis a few yards in front of them. Small desert shrubs and cacti decorated the deep orange dirt of the desert and beyond the small camp, a large cliff.

"We're camping?" She asked slowly looking at him and then back at the tipis.

Roy nodded, "We are. I figured you could use a little nature."

She took a few steps forward, running her fingers over the heavy material of the tipi. She slid her head inside the large opening, taking a step inside.

The bright lights from the headlights permeated through the white cotton of the tipi allowing her to see. A large rug with bright geometric designs was spread in the center with an ornate low table resting on top. A small silver oil lamp sat on top of the table next to a decorative statue. There was a small bed against the wall opposite the opening, fully set with traditional blankets and a bright white fur blanket at the end. Decorative floor pillows were spread through the tipi and deep red chair sat on the side.

This certainly wasn't what she was expecting to find in the middle of nowhere.

"Welcome to the Navajo Reservation."

Her fingers touched the soft blanket at the end of the bed, curling around the fur. "Navajo Reservation?"

"Yep," he confirmed stepping into the doorway with a smirk. "Granted, this experience is more for the tourist, but…" He shrugged, trailing off.

"Cause all Native Americans used tipis, right?" She smirked knowingly.

"I mean the hogans are down the way a bit, but the tipis are a bigger attraction, especially during the warm weather months, but neither here nor there," Roy admitted with a small sigh. "I figured you could use some quiet time." He tilted his head to the sky. "With stars."

Raven smiled, eyes drifting to the very top of the tipi, "I think you're right."

To Be Continued