Chapter 3

Remus laughed, "Okay, so let me get this straight, you thought Lily had a boyfriend and you were upset. This led you to become more serious about everything, which ironically is what got Lily interested in you?"

"Yeah, except I didn't even know she was interested! She was definitely friendlier but I just thought she was being nicer because I stood no chance," he said.

"Do you know how many hints I was throwing him? I thought he really had no interest anymore given that he ignored them all. And all this time he's there thinking I'm with you," Lily continued.

"In other words, you were starring in a real life Rom-com?" Remus said, picturing the two of them and trying hard not to laugh.

"Who's in a Rom-com?" someone said, slinging an arm over his shoulder and making him jump.

"Pads! We were just telling Remus here about how we're together thanks to him," said James.

"Nice to see you, Sirius. Not gonna faint this time are you?" Remus teased.

Sirius pouted, "I thought you told him James. I was acting triple L! I was rather good too if I do say so myself."

"Triple L?" Remus remarked, confused.

"Yeah, Loony Loopy Lupin! Triple L," Sirius said, proud of his stroke of genius.

"That reminds me of the first time you called my house, Sirius," he said, pursing his lips at the memory. It was the weirdest conversation he had ever had. For some reason though, he kept on answering every time Sirius decided to call after that. Eventually he just gave him his cell number because his mother accused him of cheating on Lily with his phone pal. His poor mother was in denial. She truly wanted Lily as a daughter-in-law. She was already imagining grandbabies. ("To be fair, we would have adorable babies," Lily told Remus, while James looked wounded by the comment.) It was the last straw the day she answered the landline and told Sirius he was sinking her ship. Never mind that that particular ship had never left the docks to begin with.

He relayed the tale to them (for some reason, Sirius had turned red, but he filed this info in the back of his mind for the moment) and then asked curiously, "Speaking of which, how did you get my home number to begin with? I don't believe that Lily gave it to you, considering you only knew of me because you spied on her."

"Actually, I would like to know the answer to that too," Lily said mildly, "I didn't even know you were in contact with each other until the other day when I met his mother who told me all about it while looking as if you destroyed all her hopes and dreams."

"Hehe, funny story that, we um...sorta got Wormy to snoop in your phone. But somehow he ended up getting the landline number instead of the cell. Leave it to Wormy to mess up a simple task like that," Sirius said, shaking his head, "I remembered your name Remus, from the first time we snuck into Lily's house."

"What?!" Lily said, "Why you..!" She looked like she would sorely like nothing better than to slap the silly out of them. Never mess with Lily's phone. They really should have known that.

"Don't blame James! It was my idea. He was so depressed after seeing you together that day that I wanted to do something to cheer him up," Sirius said.

"And calling me would do that how exactly?" Remus said, eyebrow raised.

*Flashback*

Potter Residence Tuesday 16th July (after Lily's 18th birthday)

"C'mon now James don't be that way," Peter said to his mopey friend, "Look I brought you sticky toffee pudding! You love my mother's pudding. Eat a piece, it will make you feel better."

And James did eat. He ate the whole thing in fact. And moped the entire time.

"Prongs! You could have saved me a piece," Sirius said, as he arrived slightly too late and noticed all the pudding was gone.

"I needed it more than you did Pads," James said, sulking, "I have to eat my feelings now don't you know. Can't express them to Lily anymore."

"Maybe you could write about it James," said Peter, "I find writing down my feelings to be very cathartic."

"Big word Wormy, cathartic," Sirius said, teasingly. Peter just stuck his tongue out at him.

James got incensed, "It's not funny! You guys will never understand; you've never been in love. Writing won't bring back the love of my life! Nothing will make this better!"

"Whoa where did that come from mate?" Sirius said, taken aback by James's sudden ferocity.

James simmered down slightly, "Sorry. I'm..sorry. I just...I hope she's happy and that he's treating her right. I'd feel better knowing that even if it's not me, at least she's happy with whoever he is. She deserves the world." He sat there looking dejected.

"Well, maybe we could help you with that," Sirius said thoughtfully.

"How?" James said, "I'm definitely not going to spy on them if that's what you're suggesting. I'd like to know she's happy but that doesn't mean I want to see her with another guy."

"No no, you don't need to do a thing...see...Wormy and I thought it might cheer you up to prank call Lily's new flame," Sirius said, excited with his own plan.

"What? No! What if he tells Lily! Then she'll hate me even more," James said pitifully.

"Ok ok fine, we'll just call and see what kind of bloke he is then. That should at least satisfy you without you having to see them together," Sirius said.

James hesitated, "...that...doesn't sound like a bad plan Pads. But we don't have his number."

"Oh yes we do," Sirius said, grinning and pulling a slip of paper out of Peter's backpack, "I got Wormy to snoop through her phone for the number. Of course we didn't have much time so he couldn't snoop too much."

James looked equal parts miffed, that they violated his love's privacy, and impressed, that they even got that far as to procure a number. (Nobody mess with Lily's phone, she will kill you.)

"Well...let's do it then. But you're doing all the talking Pads!" James said, and Sirius agreed, dialling the number and putting it on speaker.

Now like every great idea Sirius had...he didn't think it through. So when Remus answered the phone Sirius had no idea what to say, because he didn't quite get that far in his planning.

"Lupin residence, Remus speaking," came a gentle voice. Sirius was dumbstruck. He had quite forgotten what the other man sounded like, especially since he was more focused on escaping Lily's house unscathed, rather than paying attention to the stranger who had helped him.

He gulped. "Hello?" came the voice, sounding irritated now after hearing no answer for a while.

"H..hi Remus," Sirius said, his voice going slightly high pitched.

James shot Peter a look. "What's going on with Sirius?" Peter mouthed, as his normally boisterous, overconfident friend looked like a deer in the headlights.

"No idea," James whispered.

Sirius proceeded to have the longest conversation he ever had on the phone. He rambled and said such nonsense that James and Peter couldn't help but laugh. Consequently they got their toes trod on, elbowed in the stomach, and insulted terribly by Sirius to his phone companion.

"Kreacher my foot! I would never be such a mangy cat! I would be sleek and majestic!" James grumbled to Peter. He was even more offended when Sirius called him a goat.

James's amusement faded however when he heard the boy's mother ask him if he was speaking to his girlfriend Lily. He made a distressed sound which Sirius once again covered up by blaming a defenceless animal. The conversation was soon over as Remus went to dinner, but not before he had delivered one sick burn.

"Ahahahahahahahaha, lay off the drugs," James laughed, wiping a tear from his eye as mirth returned with the unexpected comment. He and Peter had a good time taking the mickey out of Sirius for that one. Peter even managed to one up himself with an Aloe-Vera comment that had Sirius sticking his fingers in his ears and resolving to ignore them both for the rest of the day. His resolve wavered within half an hour as his stomach grumbled and they all headed to dinner.

"So Pads...an hour on the phone eh?" Peter remarked in a slightly suggestive tone, now full but still feeling jolly from Remus's parting comment.

"What? No...psh it wasn't an hour!" Sirius said, sniffing haughtily, "I mean, if you two weren't laughing so much maybe I could concentrate."

James picked himself out of his funk, as Sirius tried to deflect.

"It was too an hour Pads," he smirked, "And don't blame us. You sounded drunk, rambling on like that. Wasn't this entire exercise supposed to be about finding out his character? Some friend you are. You just chatted the entire time, forgetting about your poor friend's broken heart."

"W..well it's not like you helped!" he defended, "With you two sniggering like that all the time I kept having to come up with excuses! It's your fault I had to talk so much."

"Riiiiiiiight," said Peter, in an uncharacteristic display of sarcasm. He and James shared a look and burst out laughing again. For once the camaraderie was strong between them.

James sobered up soon after though and remarked, "Well Pads you weren't completely useless."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sirius pouted.

"Well at least we know he has a lot of patience, considering he dealt with you for an hour without exploding. And he has a sense of humour too. Lily might really be happy with him," James said forlornly, but less so than before.

"Yeah he does seem pretty great doesn't he?" Sirius said, clearing his throat and coughing when spotting the side-eyed glance Peter threw him, then continuing on, "And he made you laugh Prongs! You haven't laughed so hard since her party, so that's a win in my book." He set out to cheer up his best mate, and he did, if only for a short time.

And if Sirius ended up getting something out of it too, well that was just a bonus.

*End Flashback*

"So that's how you two started talking then," said Lily, "I never even knew. All I knew was that James had suddenly matured and Sirius was walking around all the time in a daze. James never even told me that Sirius spoke to you, ("If we told her, we'd have to say how we got your number, and we really didn't want to die!" Sirius shuddered) he just came up to me one day and told me he was happy for me and that my boyfriend seemed like a great guy. Imagine how confused I was!"

"So is that when he confessed to party crashing then?" Remus said, amused.

"Yup. She was confused and I was confused as to why she was confused. It was just one big ball of confusion. So naturally I had to confess to my less than stellar actions," James said, sighing dramatically. He could see why James and Sirius were such good friends.

"Speaking of which, whatever happened to your friend Peter? He's the only one I haven't met or spoken to now," Remus said.

"Oh, Pete's come down with the flu. He's terribly sorry to miss the party," James said, and smiled wickedly at Sirius, "He's especially sorry that he's not here to witness this...I mean, meet you, Remus."

"Oh well tell him I'm sorry he missed it. It would have been nice to meet him as well," Remus said, feeling like he was missing something.

"Well, your birthday is coming up, maybe if you let me throw you a party this time you'll get to meet him," Lily said, smiling innocently.

"Oh yes definitely. We must throw a party for our new friend," James said gleefully, rubbing his hands together, while Sirius nodded in agreement.

Remus groaned, "Not you too. Lily's been trying to get me to agree to a party for a long time. No doubt my mother will be ecstatic, especially when she hears it's Lily's idea. You know I hate crowds."

"Hey, the marauders are a party by ourselves! We don't need people!" James said passionately.

"Fine, fine," Remus relented, "But you're going to be responsible for telling my mother why Lily and I won't be having babies together."

"That is no trouble at all. I'll just have to tell her that Remily is out and Jily is in," James stated austerely.

"We all know they're really Lames," Sirius whispered conspiratorially to Remus, who couldn't help laughing, much to James' consternation. (He just knew he had been insulted, but he couldn't prove it.)

All in all, what had started out as one really weird phone call had led to an expanding circle of friends that he had never expected. As Sirius and James scuffled with one another and Lily tried to break them up with the promise of cake, Remus reflected on how different his life was becoming. His world would never be the same again, but in a good way. And he was just fine with that.