Her pain was like a piece of jagged glass, embedded deep into her soul and her heart. Each breath made her feel like she was choking on air. Like she was drowning in the deepest sea, where no light could reach her and her voice would forever remain unheard. Her fingers reached out, but fell short of their goal. As always. Grasping illusions and dreams gone by. Realities that never really were. Smiles that became home, in the end, were only temporary shelters that would crumble with the slightest wind. Was she always this fragile? Yes, she was.
The year she lost the only place that would ever really accept her, she began to question things. Was it only her that cared? Were the bonds she weaved so tenderly with her own two hands not as strong as ropes as she believed? Were they only threads that would break with the lightest of tugs?
These were the thoughts that made her collapse near her wall each night. Near the collage she had crafted. To find them and reunite them into the family she had always known, this was her goal. But somewhere along the line of trying to sort this out like the journalist she hoped she would one day be, and embracing her own feelings, she had become selfish.
Time slipped past her. A shadow that would never slow down, no matter how much she begged it to. It wouldn't let her heal. Wouldn't let her break the steel bars that had automatically risen around her wounded heart.
Her room was too peaceful, too bare, too empty, so out-of-place and so wrong. Just like her. Each day that she looked at it, her apartment and her life, she was reminded of long halls and silent tables. The life she ran away from, the life she thought she had left behind, this was the life she would always know. An isolated, lonely life. She should have greeten it like an old friend, the only one she had remained.
She got up every morning, pushing herself to survive just one more time, to not hide the scars but display them proudly, to smile widely and to act as cheerfully as she could. And, for a while, writing offered her the way to do all this. A respite.
And then the glass broke. Cries echoed in her room, who was doing that? her arms warm and consoling, the only reassurance she had. And long into the night, she allowed herself to weep freely, without any shackles dragging her down.
And that is how the zodiac found her. Huddled up to shield herself from invisible foes, silent tears that carried her pain escaping from shut eyes and little hiccups escaping her now and then. Leo took to her side first, then Virgo, followed by Aries and Gemini, with the rest watching from afar. But not Aquarius. Aquarius wouldn't be here anymore. No snarky comments and no mini-floods. No hidden kindness and no sneaky motherly glances.
At that moment, with the zodiac surrounding her, Leo gripping her hand tightly and pink hair, carefree grins and invigorating words flashing through her mind, she wiped her face and gave those that tethered her to reality a vulnerable smile. It was a step forward. One step closer to mending herself. And she swore, she swore that she would no longer be the girl who was left behind. She would be a warrior, in her own way. She could never be as strong as Erza or Gray or Natsu but she wouldn't be content anymore with the way she was. She'd start from the ground up. It was high time she learned to stand on her feet, high time she learned to raise her fists and high time she learned to catch herself. Standing up, she said, more to her demons than to the zodiac,
"I'm going to get stronger. Watch me."
*A/N: This Lucy-centric came out of nowhere but I'm really glad! Lucy is my absolute favourite character and her story during the one year time skip has really bugged me 'cause they haven't shown much and she is often so underrated that it annoys me. Anywho, the title, "Light Lost" is inspired by her name, 'Lucy,' which means 'light'. Comment and review and hope you enjoyed it!