Winter was cold and uncomfy but at the same time incredibly beautiful. Lights and Christmas decorations everywhere. Still if you ask me if I prefer summer or winter I would say spring. In winter you have to wear so many layers to keep warm…and in summer you wish to wear no layers at all. Still everything was better than the last report before exam season. I just hated it. Obviously Kaito was already finished…that nerd. But I forced him to come over to help…which he doesn't do at all. He was just sitting there with another book to fill with his notes and create a quote file for. As if he was already at university!

I sighed. „Staring at you paper is not finishing your report." Kaito said not having the decency to look up. „I know! It's just…" I sighed again and finally Kaito looks up. "What's wrong." He sensed me being down. „I feel like wasting time…" „You do by just starring and not writing." He said with a cheeky smile. „I didn't mean the report! I meant Luka!" I nearly screamed. Good that my parents are doing some shopping. „…I kind of know how you feel."

I looked at him skeptically. „Do you, Mister-Study-Date?" He rolled his eyes. „Yes I do, Miss-Shopping-Date." I smiled. Yeah, I did go shopping with her once in a while. It was so much fun and I kind of became to know what kind of clothing Luka likes. She is just such a lady….

„Hey, can I ask you something crazy?" He now even puts the book away. „Can't remember you asking normal things." He now sighed. „Spill it." I looked at him and asked myself again if I really want to ask him. „Did you ever do it yourself imagining Gakupo?" He blushed like hell."What the…?! Miku! Where did that came from?!" „Well...you're a healthy guy…I'm a healthy girl…where is the difference?" I asked now blushing myself and looking away. He groaned. „So…you asked me if I masturbate on Gakupo because you do it thinking about Luka?" I knew he would take the hint. He is good. Does not change the fact that we both are a blushing mess. „Kind of…" I said slowly. Kaito stayed silent looking at me like I was a crazy person. I kind of gave up on an answer. „Yes."

„Huh?!" „Yes, when I am not going to bed at 4am and feel like it I…I do…that…thinking…" He never finished his sentence. „Don't you feel ashamed?-" „I AM SO ASHAMED I CAN'T LOOK AT HIM FOR HOURS THE NEXT DAY!" he screamed at me. I just barely could finish my question. I look at him surprised. „Oh god, thanks. You're the same. Isn't this horrible? I always feel like she could see it in my face." I whined. „Urg, I feel you…wait, did you just asked that so you could whine to me about your embarrassment?" He saw right through me. „It's better than suffering alone." He sighed again rubbing his temples. „You are a terrible person." I smiled „You love me." I giggled and he smiled. I looked at my blank paper. „People like us don't have it easy." I said sadly. He took his book again a glint of sadness in his eyes. No one would choose this complicated life out of free will…

Christmas was around the corner and it was kind of sad. Everyone seemed busy. Gumi is meeting friends for drinking and Meiko had a christmas date. Len and Rin are celebrating with their family. Gakupo will be over to Kyoto for a long visit until New Year. Poor Kaito. I don't know what Luka does. She said she had a plan but didn't told anyone what it was. Maybe also a date?...I'm sad now.

Suddenly my phone rang with a massage while I was chilling in front of the TV. Recently there was not a lot if gaming happening but next year we will definitely meet again. Maybe soon for Lukas birthday in January.

= Hello Miku, are you free on 25.12.? =

Huh? Is that really Luka asking me if I am free on Christmas? Like…for real? I just got nervous but what if she just wanted to do last minute shopping for a date on 26th…arrrrg!

= Yeah, still free. =

= It would be lovely if you would spend the day with me. =

YES! DOUBLE YES! I can't yes enough! Damn it! But…wait…she is not asking directly for shopping…

= What do you have in mind? =

Nooo, dummy! First yes, than question! Mouuu….

= I just want to have a nice evening with you. I thought dinner would be nice. =

Dinner…like in…Dinner-Date. I was confused. Was she…? No…she..I…

= Are you asking me out on a Date? =

I have to know. I mean I could still put it off as a joke…well I may forgot the smiley. But…for me this is actually serious now. But as I waited for an answer I braced myself for a reaction I can't heal from…

= Yes =

I stared at my screen until it became all blurry. Is she serious? How did I deserve this? This is impossible. My hands where shacking as I typed my answer and drops of tears wet the display of my phone.

= I would love to go with you on a date at christmas. =

I can't believe this is happening.

I was never this nervous before. I actually felt downright sick. I went shopping with Kaito before the date but I couldn't find anything better than the stuff in closet. At the end I spammed my best friend with outfit options. But he didn't really helped. Whoever said male gays have a great taste in fashion never met Kaito…well, he dresses himself quite nicely but that's it. Uuuurg, I am still not sure about my choice but it's too late to change and it is much more important that I left the bathroom for the thousandth time. I can't wait anymore! But I have to. I agreed to Luka picking me up with her car…

I nearly screeched as the doorbell was ringing. All of a sudden I feel even sicker. I never ever had a date with a girl… at all. I flinched and run to the door just taking a moment to check myself in the mirror and then opened it. Like expected it was Luka looking as stunning as ever. I feel always so childish next to her refined look. „Hi…" I said not being able to think of something better. „Hi." She smiles lovely. I feel dizzy from happiness.

I we left after I locked the door. My parents are having a business party. They won't be home until late at night. So I was free to do as I please without them knowing. I didn't told them I was having plans. They wouldn't believe me anyway that I spend the evening with a girl. They would think I have a secret date with a guy because it's christmas. As if I would date a guy. I have a secret date with a girl! They are so strange sometimes I am surprised they trust Kaito…but they kind of have to considering how long we know each other.

Luka brought us to a small cozy restaurant. It was full but not as loud as I thought our date will be. A smaller restaurant with fewer seats makes less noise. She is so thoughtful. We get seated. As I look around I only see couples. Nothing normal for christmas in Japan. It's just the first time I am one of them. „It's nice here…" I said taking the Menu. „Yeah, I love this restaurant. But at christmas it is not so easy to get a reservation." Was that the reason she always talked about plans? She was waiting to succeed in a reservation here. „Did you … were on the waiting list." She smiled. „I was, but I am a regular here and my parents are befriended with the owner… It may be unfair but…I really wanted to spend the day with you in this restaurant." Uwaaaah, she even pulled some strings. I blushed feeling quite honored. „Won't they…tell your parents…or do you have an excuse?" She smiled. „They know." „Eh…" „They know…about me being different." Oh…what?! She is…really?! „How did they reacted?" I couldn't imagine telling my parents. Not now. „It took time…but they came to accept it. I just try to keep it away from them." Uwah, sounds horrible but I could understand. If they know but don't see anything different about you it would make things easier. Still… „Why did you even tell them? Did you…feel like the time was right?" She looked down. Bad memories? „They wanted me to marry as soon as I finished university…" An Omiai-Attack from parents. I hope my will never do that. „So you told them to make them stop." „Basically…yeah." Urg…that's horrible. „I'm sorry…" I said feeling scared of the day I start university now. „Do you have no one you ever told?" Now I looked up confused. I can't help but smile now. „Guess." „Kaito." „Dingding, 100 points for Luka." She laughed. I am glad I could make her laugh. „So, he really is your best friend." She said smiling. „Yeah, best friends forever." „Considering you are friends for over 10 years I believe that." I looked at her in surprise and thought about how long I knew that guy. „Wow, your right. Over 10 years. I never noticed." She laughed again. „Did you choose what you want to eat." I suddenly remembered the Menu again. „A moment please!" I looked up the Menu and chose my food. Than Luka rung the table bell and we ordered.

„So, Kaito seems to know everything about you." Luka started again. „If you want to know something about me you don't want to ask me in person, ask him. But be warned, he is not the one with a loose mouth." „I noticed that." Yeah, he kept quiet about tons of shit. That's as charming as it is unnerving. „I really thought you two where dating." I looked at her confused again. Suddenly I remembered that day I stayed at Kaitos. Just…now things made a little more sense. „No…as you see that would not work." She laughed. I mean we are outed to each other. „I see that now. It is not just because you are like brother and sister." I laughed now. Yeah, that's what we said but we haven't lied. I just can't imagine myself with him after so much time. „To be honest, I could pull a lap dance on Kaito and nothing would happen." Just me feeling stupid after a while because of the face he possibly pulls. „So…Kaito is like that too?" …..fuuuuuuuck. I just outed him to Luka. Nooo waaay. I panicked. „Don't worry. I won't tell anyone." „That's not it. It's just…he should decide who knows…" She giggled. „It's kind of obvious he likes Gakupo." She suddenly said. I froze. „You think so too?" „Well, it is not overly obvious but…if you look a little closer you can't miss it." I laughed. Kaito is great at keeping quiet and just refusing to tell things but he is the worst liar ever. He can mask most of his feelings quite well though…just not these kinds. „It's entertaining to watch." She agreed. I don't feel so bad anymore. „Is Gakupo interested?" I may be able to get some information myself. „Depends on. I think he is…but I don't know in what way exactly and how serious he is." Well, I tried, Kaito. „That's too bad. But it's kind of funny. It's so hard to find people like us in daily life. I thought I have to wait until I was 20 to go to Roppongi." That's where all the clubs are. Clubs for us… „Well yeah, that's how most of us feel." So even a Lady like Luka thought about stuff like that. „How did you know…I was interested?" „I didn't. I just took the risk. There were…hints." Yeah, I gave them on propose. „I just hoped I was right." I smiled. She is so brave…and smart. „Sounds like I should have been more aggressive." She laughed. „I wouldn't say no to a lap dance." She said in a low voice giggling. I blushed at the very unusual joke. „Uwaah, never…I wanted to enchant you, not scare you away." I said whining. „There is no way you can enchant me more than you already did." My breath caught in my throat and I blushed even more. That was more smooth than Gakupo….damn it! Now I know how Kaito must feel…

The food was served and we talked about a whole array of other topics.

We were again standing at my front door. The evening has been wonderful. I loved every second. The food has been great and Luka was just…so amazing. I always called her my crush but…that was not a crush anymore. I just fell head over heels in one date. It was a shame it was over.

„So, well…thanks for the evening. That was by far the best christmas thing I experienced." Even if it was damn cold but the thought of this ending made me feel even colder. "I have to thank you for taking the time." She smiled like an Angel. I don't want her to go. „Than…have a good night. Beautiful dreams." She then said making my heart arch. „Yeah, you too." We look at each other…but then Luka turns around to go back to her car. I turn to the door…but I couldn't bring myself to unlock it. Luka has been so courageous to ask me out and I don't have the decency to at least give her something in return? I clenched my hands and in a moment of boldness I turned around to catch Lukas wrist midway. I pulled her body against mine and pressed my lips onto hers in a clumsy sloppy way that barely conveyed how desperate I was.

As I was releasing her I saw her face for the first time in an awfully beautiful blush. I took both of her hand in mine. „Please…let me be with you." Now…and forever. She just looked at me realizing what I was asking from her. Her lips pressed into a kissable thin line. „I will wait." She nodded to my home and my heart jumped in excitement. „I will hurry." I left her running to my door and nearly letting the keys fall as I tried to open it. I run up into my room and got all the things I need as far as I could think. I also prepared a note for my parents that I am at a slumber party of a friend. Then I left the house again locking the door. Luka was still waiting at the same place. Together we sat back in the car and drove off. Our destination this time was her place. Her parents have a christmas date themselves and will stay the night at a hotel. Her father seems to be a hopeless romantic. It's kind of sweet.

As we arrived we went inside the house. I never visited her but the house was not that interesting as she was dragging me in her room and her we stood…unsure of ourselves. I just had time to remove my shoes and my coat at the entrance. I let my bag fall and after another moment I send my top flying. I hugged her passionately and she kissed me much more skilled then I kissed her. Our clothes gathered piece by piece on the floor as we found our way to Lukas bed. I shuddered a thousand times under her touches. Her kisses make me burn and I asked myself in a far away thought if she was a natural at finding all the right places to touch. I moaned in unknown pleasure while feeling so unskilled as I touched her perfect skin. She took her time showing me where I could drive her completely wild. Her moans where like music and we sang a song of love and pleasure as we satisfied our hunger for each other this very night. As we fell into a deep pit of pure bliss our heated bodies arched. Exhausted I finally found a moment where everything was completely calm in Lukas arm. So that's what happiness really feels like….

„Luka…I love you…"

I felt her arms tighten around me.

„I…love you to…Miku"

Christmas was such a stupid western holiday…but to be honest I was just a bit sour because of all the couples around me. I could have stayed at home with mum, but I kind of…felt caged again. So I went out to get some air. My walk went to the station and now I was here…inside the Shibuya Starbucks. I don't even know why but I was sitting her for quite some time changing seat by seat till I was finally at the windows again looking at the famous crossing in boredom.

I took another sip of my Matcha Latte. Usually I am not a real fan of this. The bitter green tea taste was never to my liking. I was a lot more into…sweet stuff. Sounds weird if you look at my coffee intake at some days, right? But I drink coffee to stay awake, not because I like it. The taste of coffee was actually disgusting to me. I rather drink an energy shot…but these things just make me feel sick. One does not have it easy.

I sighed. Miku properly is already on her date. I am kind of jealous. I wished I was brave enough to ask Gakupo but even if I was it wouldn't change a thing. He probably is on his way to Kyoto now. His mother owns a school for tea ceremony and after new year there will be tons of events he should help prepare. He even took an accepted leave at University. As far as I know he is pretty smart and that's why he was allowed to do so. By the way, is it now obvious why I was drinking this green stuff? Well actually I became to kind of like it. Can feelings change the taste of a person? I don't know. I just know that Gakupo was drinking that every now and then instead of coffee. I miss him…that's probably why I was sitting here.

I took another sip and looked at my phone. No messages from Miku. She still has not messed up…mean she won't at all today. „Good luck…" I mumbled and continued to look outside the windows. Shibuya was always bright and lively.

Time passed and my cup was long empty. Still I looked outside. I properly look like I was ditched by my date. Must be a sad view for all the other happy people. Just don't look!

Suddenly the seat next to me was taken and I looked confused to the intruder as another cup was placed in front of me. My eyes went wide. „Gakupo…why…?" I was nearly shocked to see his slightly disheveled form with my very eyes. „I…kind of missed my train…and the next goes tomorrow morning. So…I had some time to spare. I came here for a drink." That's a lie right? The shinkansen goes on every 10 minutes isn't it? Or are they all reserved. I was confused and after a moment I didn't even cared anymore. „You…came all the way from Tokyo Station to Shibuya for a drink from Starbucks?" He laughed. „Okay, your right. That sounds kind of stupid if you say it like that…but I felt kind of nostalgic…and I am happy I came." He looked at me and I couldn't help but blush. That sounded like he came because he wanted to see me…like I came…because I wanted to see him. But…it could just be my wishful thinking. I stayed silent and took the drink he got me. Caramel Latte with extra caramel and already sweetened to my taste. Did we went here so much he even remembered how I order my coffee? Or did he paid attention to it? I was still confused about all this but I couldn't say anything. I was afraid all of this being a dream I don't want to wake up from. He also stayed silent. Like this we stayed for a whole while until I took all the courage I could muster and leaned at his shoulder. He didn't push me away or said anything. He indeed leaned a little into my direction to counter my weight. Maybe christmas wasn't so bad at all. In the west they always talk about christmas miracles. I thought that was a highly romanticized idea. Seems like these things actually do happen once in a while…